What is it like to be gay in the 70's and 80's

[IrishBoi]

I have seen a lot of movies, tv shows and documentaries about the cruising times of the 70s and 80s both pre and post HIV

I know there was a lot of cruising going down, big cities like New York City were no stranger to bath houses, saunas, book stores and leather bluf Tom Of Finland cops walking down the street like nothing. 

Unless thats just the magic of film making it look like that. 

I was unlucky to not be born until 1999 so to anyone who was around the cruising scene back then, how was it and is it as accurate as you see on tv/film

[BootmanLA]

3 hours ago, IrishBoi said:

I have seen a lot of movies, tv shows and documentaries about the cruising times of the 70s and 80s both pre and post HIV

I know there was a lot of cruising going down, big cities like New York City were no stranger to bath houses, saunas, book stores and leather bluf Tom Of Finland cops walking down the street like nothing. 

Unless thats just the magic of film making it look like that. 

I was unlucky to not be born until 1999 so to anyone who was around the cruising scene back then, how was it and is it as accurate as you see on tv/film

A few things to note:

1. The way it was in really, really big cities like NYC, London, Berlin, Los Angeles, etc. was not typical of how things were in the rest of the world, or even the rest of the countries involved. The vast majority of people - gay and straight - lived in places where there were not only no leather studs cruising the streets, but gay bars were still under constant threat of being shut down as public nuisances, and that was BEFORE HIV/AIDS hit the community. In plenty of "liberal" cities, gay bars still had door buzzers with someone watching on a CCTV camera from inside, only letting in people who appeared to be "safe" to let in.

I didn't mention San Francisco because although it was also a very liberal and liberated city, it's actually not a "really big" city. The SF Bay area is large and has a huge population, but the city itself - where the gay community was based - is not all that large (less than 47 square miles) and the city population was only about 700,000 people in the mid 70's. 

2. Once HIV/AIDS hit, things changed, rapidly - in many places, bathhouses were shut down, public cruising enforcement stepped up, and much of the "goodwill" that we'd enjoyed as a byproduct of the Sexual Revolution era evaporated. That didn't stop people from going out to bars, etc. - but there was a pall hanging over everyone, as this unknown disease/killer was out there and for a few years, at least, we had no idea what it was or how it was doing what it did. And even when science became sure it had to be a virus, there wasn't a test available to even determine if one had been infected.

Once there WAS a test, results from those willing to be tested indicated that in some of those large cities, fully half of the gay male population was HIV+. At a time when there were no medications that could even slow the virus down, much less repress it to undetectability. And for many years, the alt-weeklies in those big cities (which were the only form of mass communication in the gay community anywhere close to "real time" were full of obituaries, every week, of members of our community dying.

3. You say you were "unlucky" to be born so late, in 1999. If you'd been born in, say, 1960, making you 20 in 1980, and you'd lived in one of those big cities, by today you'd very likely have been dead for more than 30 years. That's the reality.

[scarnick]

I met my husband in 1975. I was 24 and her was 35.  I was cruising (a small city in Pennsylvania.  I gay bar and an adult book store. )  It was a normal Friday night. At 1 AM  we connected when he got off work.  He was my third trick that night.  The first one turned out to be his best friend.

[versmetropig]

Born in November '62, I was a teenager in NYC back then. At 16 my older brother would take me with him and his girlfriend to Studio 54 then they'd go off to Plato's Retreat (a straight sex club) and I'd go hit a bathhouse or bookstore or backroom of a leather bar. Our NY drinking age was 18 at that time and no gay leather bar, bathhouse or porn theater ever kept me from coming in... Sex was everywhere in the late 70s and early 80s, when I started Fordham University at 17 there were T-rooms with gloryholes at both our Lincoln Center and Bronx campuses (several at each, and generally busy).

There were so many sexual venues for a horny teen like me - Port Authority Bus Terminal and George Washington Bridge Bus Terminal mens rooms might well have been sex clubs, especially upstairs at the GWB. Macy's, Bloomingdales, Saks, all the department stores had active glory holes, along with the Lincoln Center Library, and any Subway Station with a mens room. The YMCA on 63rd was friggin' amazing, and there were outdoor venues - the Rambles in Central Park were active day and night, and such a convenient walk from my Lincoln Center campus - I used to climb one of the boulders to do my homework, and if I spied some hot action, I would slide down and join in... The abandoned piers in Greenwich Village, "The Trucks" parked in the Meat Packing district, the High Line before it became a tourist attraction, all of these had active sex traffic.

Of course there were the bathhouses - the Ansonia being a favorite, and the Porn theaters in Times Square  - the Adonis, the David and the like all had balconies that were nothing but gangs of guys sucking and fucking and rimming and there were tons of ABS all over Manhattan some special favorites were on Christopher Street in the Village that had basements and sub-basements, red-lit with alcoves, stalls and the occasional fuck bench.

My favorites though were the Leather Bars with their backrooms. First let me begin by telling you the first gay mags I got to see at 15 were not "Playguy" or some other vanilla rag, they were "Honcho" and "Drummer"  (I later got to pose in leather for "Wilde" put out by the same publisher). Imagine being a 17 year old white blond jock kid who loved the leather scene and could actually convince guys I was more top than bottom despite the dancer/gymnast butt... the Anvil, the Spike, the Eagle there was serious ffun to be had at each... was taught to top as a fistfucker at 19 at the Anvil. And if the guys didn't believe I was a top, hell, I liked getting fucked too, but never was submissive - if they could deal with that, I'd give it up to a hot leather dude.

As to the Tom of Finland leather types... well, yes and no. Yes, they were around at the leather venues I frequented. But no, they were not hypermuscular like Tom's drawings. The body type of the time was "The Clone" an in-shape, trim, baseball or soccer type body, with nice arms, thick legs, flat stomach, hairy body, and what we now call a "porn-stache" with short hair. On guys of all colors and nationalities and sizes. I sported the look as much as I could being on the younger end of the trend, and did not sport the mustache (was a drama student, needed to be able to change my face readily). These guys were very hot - for a perfect example, look up the Porn Star "Al Parker" whose old films are still smoking hot. But pumped bodybuilder types like Tom drew, they were not. It wasn't until the mid-nineties when we began to pump ourselves to those larger proportions.

But the hot sex was there in the leather bars particularly - backrooms with slings, bathtubs for water sports, st. andrews crosses, fuck benches, gyno tables, any type of furniture to enhance uninhibited bacchanalian gay male sexuality. It was amazing.

But obviously, it couldn't last. Through my sophomore through senior years at college, the gay plague as they called it was raising it's ugly head. Rumors were wild, ideas about it were bizarre and the outside world turned away in fear and loathing and believed we "deserved it". The bacchanalia continued on, but diminished every year. By 1985 I was using condoms constantly, but it didn't matter in my case. Sometime before the ERISA test became available in 1985 I had contracted HIV. It was a sore blow to a 22 year old, but something in me believed that sex would never kill me.... and here I am THIRTY-NINE YEARS LATER - still here, still enjoying wonderful piggy leather sex but also aware of how damn lucky I am, and how many of my friends and lovers weren't, and also well aware of how beholden I am to the pharmaceutical companies who will keep me their slave for the rest of my life rather than find a cure. Bitter, yeah, but still grateful they developed what they have, and despite almost 40 years I haven't developed any serious side-effects or infections. And once I started on HAART therapy in 1998 I felt free enough to go back to bareback with other poz guys only, and keep the condoms for any neg guys I played with. With the new drugs and PreP and a wealth of knowledge, I will even BB with someone who is negative once they know that I am undetectable, and they make the decision yay or nay. That at least is a blessing.

But it can never bring back those carefree days you ask about @IrishBoi, and long long answer shortened, for some of us, and in places like NYC, yes, for the most part the movies have it correct. Hardly a day went by during that time that I didn't suck or get sucked, fuck or get fucked by some rando or other(s). It was an incredible blast, but we also payed a staggering price!

 

[SpectreAgent]

4 hours ago, versmetropig said:

Born in November '62, I was a teenager in NYC back then. At 16 my older brother would take me with him and his girlfriend to Studio 54 then they'd go off to Plato's Retreat (a straight sex club) and I'd go hit a bathhouse or bookstore or backroom of a leather bar. Our NY drinking age was 18 at that time and no gay leather bar, bathhouse or porn theater ever kept me from coming in... Sex was everywhere in the late 70s and early 80s, when I started Fordham University at 17 there were T-rooms with gloryholes at both our Lincoln Center and Bronx campuses (several at each, and generally busy).

There were so many sexual venues for a horny teen like me - Port Authority Bus Terminal and George Washington Bridge Bus Terminal mens rooms might well have been sex clubs, especially upstairs at the GWB. Macy's, Bloomingdales, Saks, all the department stores had active glory holes, along with the Lincoln Center Library, and any Subway Station with a mens room. The YMCA on 63rd was friggin' amazing, and there were outdoor venues - the Rambles in Central Park were active day and night, and such a convenient walk from my Lincoln Center campus - I used to climb one of the boulders to do my homework, and if I spied some hot action, I would slide down and join in... The abandoned piers in Greenwich Village, "The Trucks" parked in the Meat Packing district, the High Line before it became a tourist attraction, all of these had active sex traffic.

Of course there were the bathhouses - the Ansonia being a favorite, and the Porn theaters in Times Square  - the Adonis, the David and the like all had balconies that were nothing but gangs of guys sucking and fucking and rimming and there were tons of ABS all over Manhattan some special favorites were on Christopher Street in the Village that had basements and sub-basements, red-lit with alcoves, stalls and the occasional fuck bench.

My favorites though were the Leather Bars with their backrooms. First let me begin by telling you the first gay mags I got to see at 15 were not "Playguy" or some other vanilla rag, they were "Honcho" and "Drummer"  (I later got to pose in leather for "Wilde" put out by the same publisher). Imagine being a 17 year old white blond jock kid who loved the leather scene and could actually convince guys I was more top than bottom despite the dancer/gymnast butt... the Anvil, the Spike, the Eagle there was serious ffun to be had at each... was taught to top as a fistfucker at 19 at the Anvil. And if the guys didn't believe I was a top, hell, I liked getting fucked too, but never was submissive - if they could deal with that, I'd give it up to a hot leather dude.

As to the Tom of Finland leather types... well, yes and no. Yes, they were around at the leather venues I frequented. But no, they were not hypermuscular like Tom's drawings. The body type of the time was "The Clone" an in-shape, trim, baseball or soccer type body, with nice arms, thick legs, flat stomach, hairy body, and what we now call a "porn-stache" with short hair. On guys of all colors and nationalities and sizes. I sported the look as much as I could being on the younger end of the trend, and did not sport the mustache (was a drama student, needed to be able to change my face readily). These guys were very hot - for a perfect example, look up the Porn Star "Al Parker" whose old films are still smoking hot. But pumped bodybuilder types like Tom drew, they were not. It wasn't until the mid-nineties when we began to pump ourselves to those larger proportions.

But the hot sex was there in the leather bars particularly - backrooms with slings, bathtubs for water sports, st. andrews crosses, fuck benches, gyno tables, any type of furniture to enhance uninhibited bacchanalian gay male sexuality. It was amazing.

But obviously, it couldn't last. Through my sophomore through senior years at college, the gay plague as they called it was raising it's ugly head. Rumors were wild, ideas about it were bizarre and the outside world turned away in fear and loathing and believed we "deserved it". The bacchanalia continued on, but diminished every year. By 1985 I was using condoms constantly, but it didn't matter in my case. Sometime before the ERISA test became available in 1985 I had contracted HIV. It was a sore blow to a 22 year old, but something in me believed that sex would never kill me.... and here I am THIRTY-NINE YEARS LATER - still here, still enjoying wonderful piggy leather sex but also aware of how damn lucky I am, and how many of my friends and lovers weren't, and also well aware of how beholden I am to the pharmaceutical companies who will keep me their slave for the rest of my life rather than find a cure. Bitter, yeah, but still grateful they developed what they have, and despite almost 40 years I haven't developed any serious side-effects or infections. And once I started on HAART therapy in 1998 I felt free enough to go back to bareback with other poz guys only, and keep the condoms for any neg guys I played with. With the new drugs and PreP and a wealth of knowledge, I will even BB with someone who is negative once they know that I am undetectable, and they make the decision yay or nay. That at least is a blessing.

But it can never bring back those carefree days you ask about @IrishBoi, and long long answer shortened, for some of us, and in places like NYC, yes, for the most part the movies have it correct. Hardly a day went by during that time that I didn't suck or get sucked, fuck or get fucked by some rando or other(s). It was an incredible blast, but we also payed a staggering price!

 

There was a documentary some years back called “Gay Sex in the 70s” made by Peccadillo Pictures which I still have in my collection. It’s all about gay life in NYC back then. I really enjoyed it. Have  you seen it? 

[versmetropig]

34 minutes ago, SpectreAgent said:

There was a documentary some years back called “Gay Sex in the 70s” made by Peccadillo Pictures which I still have in my collection. It’s all about gay life in NYC back then. I really enjoyed it. Have  you seen it? 

I vaguely remember hearing something about it, but no, I have not seen it. I wonder if it gibes with my own experiences or dulls them down, or conversely, plays them up for drama purposes? Did you find it to be positive, neutral, or judgemental at all?

[SpectreAgent]

Not judgemental in the slightest. But I wouldn’t expect it from those producers. I think you can still find it online. It was available on iTunes for a while. 

[SpectreAgent]

5 hours ago, versmetropig said:

I vaguely remember hearing something about it, but no, I have not seen it. I wonder if it gibes with my own experiences or dulls them down, or conversely, plays them up for drama purposes? Did you find it to be positive, neutral, or judgemental at all?

This is the synopsis on Peccadillo Pictures website:  

“They took MDMA and danced the night away. If you were in the mood for pure sex, there were the bathhouses. And if total sleaze was your aim, there were the piers, the Anvil or Mineshaft, places where men simply wanted to have sex with other men with no pretence.

Gay Sex in the 70s is a stunning visual document of New York during the decade of gay liberation and sexual abandon following Stonewall. Gay men cruised the streets, frequented gay bars, and, of course, had loads and loads of sex everywhere. But only 12 years after Stonewall, this unprecedented era of sexual freedom came to a close.”

I really must watch it again. 

 

[Leather-lee]

On 9/28/2024 at 1:12 AM, versmetropig said:

Born in November '62, I was a teenager in NYC back then. At 16 my older brother would take me with him and his girlfriend to Studio 54 then they'd go off to Plato's Retreat (a straight sex club) and I'd go hit a bathhouse or bookstore or backroom of a leather bar. Our NY drinking age was 18 at that time and no gay leather bar, bathhouse or porn theater ever kept me from coming in... Sex was everywhere in the late 70s and early 80s, when I started Fordham University at 17 there were T-rooms with gloryholes at both our Lincoln Center and Bronx campuses (several at each, and generally busy).

There were so many sexual venues for a horny teen like me - Port Authority Bus Terminal and George Washington Bridge Bus Terminal mens rooms might well have been sex clubs, especially upstairs at the GWB. Macy's, Bloomingdales, Saks, all the department stores had active glory holes, along with the Lincoln Center Library, and any Subway Station with a mens room. The YMCA on 63rd was friggin' amazing, and there were outdoor venues - the Rambles in Central Park were active day and night, and such a convenient walk from my Lincoln Center campus - I used to climb one of the boulders to do my homework, and if I spied some hot action, I would slide down and join in... The abandoned piers in Greenwich Village, "The Trucks" parked in the Meat Packing district, the High Line before it became a tourist attraction, all of these had active sex traffic.

Of course there were the bathhouses - the Ansonia being a favorite, and the Porn theaters in Times Square  - the Adonis, the David and the like all had balconies that were nothing but gangs of guys sucking and fucking and rimming and there were tons of ABS all over Manhattan some special favorites were on Christopher Street in the Village that had basements and sub-basements, red-lit with alcoves, stalls and the occasional fuck bench.

My favorites though were the Leather Bars with their backrooms. First let me begin by telling you the first gay mags I got to see at 15 were not "Playguy" or some other vanilla rag, they were "Honcho" and "Drummer"  (I later got to pose in leather for "Wilde" put out by the same publisher). Imagine being a 17 year old white blond jock kid who loved the leather scene and could actually convince guys I was more top than bottom despite the dancer/gymnast butt... the Anvil, the Spike, the Eagle there was serious ffun to be had at each... was taught to top as a fistfucker at 19 at the Anvil. And if the guys didn't believe I was a top, hell, I liked getting fucked too, but never was submissive - if they could deal with that, I'd give it up to a hot leather dude.

As to the Tom of Finland leather types... well, yes and no. Yes, they were around at the leather venues I frequented. But no, they were not hypermuscular like Tom's drawings. The body type of the time was "The Clone" an in-shape, trim, baseball or soccer type body, with nice arms, thick legs, flat stomach, hairy body, and what we now call a "porn-stache" with short hair. On guys of all colors and nationalities and sizes. I sported the look as much as I could being on the younger end of the trend, and did not sport the mustache (was a drama student, needed to be able to change my face readily). These guys were very hot - for a perfect example, look up the Porn Star "Al Parker" whose old films are still smoking hot. But pumped bodybuilder types like Tom drew, they were not. It wasn't until the mid-nineties when we began to pump ourselves to those larger proportions.

But the hot sex was there in the leather bars particularly - backrooms with slings, bathtubs for water sports, st. andrews crosses, fuck benches, gyno tables, any type of furniture to enhance uninhibited bacchanalian gay male sexuality. It was amazing.

But obviously, it couldn't last. Through my sophomore through senior years at college, the gay plague as they called it was raising it's ugly head. Rumors were wild, ideas about it were bizarre and the outside world turned away in fear and loathing and believed we "deserved it". The bacchanalia continued on, but diminished every year. By 1985 I was using condoms constantly, but it didn't matter in my case. Sometime before the ERISA test became available in 1985 I had contracted HIV. It was a sore blow to a 22 year old, but something in me believed that sex would never kill me.... and here I am THIRTY-NINE YEARS LATER - still here, still enjoying wonderful piggy leather sex but also aware of how damn lucky I am, and how many of my friends and lovers weren't, and also well aware of how beholden I am to the pharmaceutical companies who will keep me their slave for the rest of my life rather than find a cure. Bitter, yeah, but still grateful they developed what they have, and despite almost 40 years I haven't developed any serious side-effects or infections. And once I started on HAART therapy in 1998 I felt free enough to go back to bareback with other poz guys only, and keep the condoms for any neg guys I played with. With the new drugs and PreP and a wealth of knowledge, I will even BB with someone who is negative once they know that I am undetectable, and they make the decision yay or nay. That at least is a blessing.

But it can never bring back those carefree days you ask about @IrishBoi, and long long answer shortened, for some of us, and in places like NYC, yes, for the most part the movies have it correct. Hardly a day went by during that time that I didn't suck or get sucked, fuck or get fucked by some rando or other(s). It was an incredible blast, but we also payed a staggering price!

 

Were the 70s/80s really any different to the unbridled sex you can still find nowadays in saunas, cruising grounds, sex clubs?

[versmetropig]

16 hours ago, Leather-lee said:

Were the 70s/80s really any different to the unbridled sex you can still find nowadays in saunas, cruising grounds, sex clubs?

@Leather-lee I can really only speak to NYC for the late 70s and early 80s - by the time I graduated University in 1984 and started my performing career fear and uncertainty were all ready changing in terms of the all-out-free for all feeling in NYC. Out on the road (I eventually wound up getting laid in 41 of the 42 States I performed in , all of the Canadian Provinces (Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, Quebec, Ontario and British Columbia) and most of the Mexican States where I appeared things took a bit longer to change, but from 1985 on any fucking was done with condoms whether topping or bottoming (that would not change much with hook-ups until the mid-90s, though with both my first partner and my husband, BB was the rule most of the time) and anonymous hooking up began to be seriously frowned upon .

Anyway, while things today have some echoes of that period, the sheer VOLUME and VARIETY and VAST MENU of sexual activity still eclipse our current unbridled  venues and scenes because - in NYC at least - there were just so many more of them, they were so casually available almost EVERYWHERE ANYTIME in venues both private and public and a higher portion of the gay/queer community indulged in them without hesitation or guilt or concern prior to the knowledge of a deadly epidemic and so I must answer, YES, they were that different. Trust me, today is a VAST improvement over the late '80s and the '90s when a large percentage of guys even insisted on condoms for BLOWJOBS for f*ck sake, even putting them on dildos - those were some tragically libido-crushing years! But while there are more options again, and some unbridled bacchanal scenes mercifully returning, they will never again have the naive care-free innocence we had back then and the huge number of opportunities everywhere may or may not return. Almost every Rest Stop, Truck Stop, Department Store Men's Room, Library Men's Rooms, many full-size Porn Theaters - truly distinct from Adult Bookstores and Booth Stores, Live Performance venues like The Gaiety, a huge number of Discos, Clubs, and Event Spaces, Bars that catered to every different sub-culture in the "lifestyle" were rife with sexual activity many neighborhood bars even had sexually active backrooms... If one or two of each of these types of venues has survived not only into the 21st century but also made it through Quarantine with its' doors still open that's awesome, but realize there were at least 10 to 20 to 30 more of each back then.

Not trying sound like some oldster who sits around in his rocking chair complaining how things were better in the old days, there really is a difference between the two periods - in both care-free innocence and sheer volume of both men and venues. Don't let that stop you or anyone else on here from enjoying the opportunities we DO have today - there are very few guys like me who were  THERE and active in the scene THEN while still being HERE and still active in the scene NOW,. The depth and sensuality and satisfaction and LENGTH OF TIME a man can have sex with the assistance of Viagra and the like make today's scene pretty special too - anyone who feels they "missed out" on that time period can always remind themselves that: a) most of those guys from that time period are NOT like me and did not live to see the 90s let alone the 21st century, and, b) we can join scenes now assisted by E.D. pills or shots, and play for much longer!

[SpectreAgent]

29 minutes ago, versmetropig said:

@Leather-lee I can really only speak to NYC for the late 70s and early 80s - by the time I graduated University in 1984 and started my performing career fear and uncertainty were all ready changing in terms of the all-out-free for all feeling in NYC. Out on the road (I eventually wound up getting laid in 41 of the 42 States I performed in , all of the Canadian Provinces (Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, Quebec, Ontario and British Columbia) and most of the Mexican States where I appeared things took a bit longer to change, but from 1985 on any fucking was done with condoms whether topping or bottoming (that would not change much with hook-ups until the mid-90s, though with both my first partner and my husband, BB was the rule most of the time) and anonymous hooking up began to be seriously frowned upon .

Anyway, while things today have some echoes of that period, the sheer VOLUME and VARIETY and VAST MENU of sexual activity still eclipse our current unbridled  venues and scenes because - in NYC at least - there were just so many more of them, they were so casually available almost EVERYWHERE ANYTIME in venues both private and public and a higher portion of the gay/queer community indulged in them without hesitation or guilt or concern prior to the knowledge of a deadly epidemic and so I must answer, YES, they were that different. Trust me, today is a VAST improvement over the late '80s and the '90s when a large percentage of guys even insisted on condoms for BLOWJOBS for f*ck sake, even putting them on dildos - those were some tragically libido-crushing years! But while there are more options again, and some unbridled bacchanal scenes mercifully returning, they will never again have the naive care-free innocence we had back then and the huge number of opportunities everywhere may or may not return. Almost every Rest Stop, Truck Stop, Department Store Men's Room, Library Men's Rooms, many full-size Porn Theaters - truly distinct from Adult Bookstores and Booth Stores, Live Performance venues like The Gaiety, a huge number of Discos, Clubs, and Event Spaces, Bars that catered to every different sub-culture in the "lifestyle" were rife with sexual activity many neighborhood bars even had sexually active backrooms... If one or two of each of these types of venues has survived not only into the 21st century but also made it through Quarantine with its' doors still open that's awesome, but realize there were at least 10 to 20 to 30 more of each back then.

Not trying sound like some oldster who sits around in his rocking chair complaining how things were better in the old days, there really is a difference between the two periods - in both care-free innocence and sheer volume of both men and venues. Don't let that stop you or anyone else on here from enjoying the opportunities we DO have today - there are very few guys like me who were  THERE and active in the scene THEN while still being HERE and still active in the scene NOW,. The depth and sensuality and satisfaction and LENGTH OF TIME a man can have sex with the assistance of Viagra and the like make today's scene pretty special too - anyone who feels they "missed out" on that time period can always remind themselves that: a) most of those guys from that time period are NOT like me and did not live to see the 90s let alone the 21st century, and, b) we can join scenes now assisted by E.D. pills or shots, and play for much longer!

You write so eloquently about that period. I don’t know about anyone else, but you almost made me feel like I was there when I read that.

Which were the piers that were most active? I wasn’t sure when I was there in May (walking the High Line - no pun intended). And what has happened to them now? 

[tallslenderguy]

i lived in Virginia during the 80's, "Hampton Roads," which is several cities right next to each other, Virginia Beach and Norfolk among them. Norfolk is also home of the world's largest Naval base, as well as several other military bases, so there is a huge military presence. There were several gay cruising places, i lived near one "Ocean View Park" on the Chesapeake Bay. i drove past it on my way to work and could feel the vibe just driving by. There was almost always a crowd of gay guys there, 20-30, just hanging in the parking  lot talking. It was a social setting. Some would be up on the beach sunning. Others would be in their cars jacking off and you'd park next to each other and rise up to show the other guy your cock, then hook from there. Or just out walking around and talk and hook that way. There was also a very active rest room at the park.

 It was essentially drop by sex.  Very easy to get. Some used condoms, the vast majority did not in my experience. That   was just one of many locations scattered around.

[Leather-lee]

8 hours ago, versmetropig said:

@Leather-lee I can really only speak to NYC for the late 70s and early 80s - by the time I graduated University in 1984 and started my performing career fear and uncertainty were all ready changing in terms of the all-out-free for all feeling in NYC. Out on the road (I eventually wound up getting laid in 41 of the 42 States I performed in , all of the Canadian Provinces (Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, Quebec, Ontario and British Columbia) and most of the Mexican States where I appeared things took a bit longer to change, but from 1985 on any fucking was done with condoms whether topping or bottoming (that would not change much with hook-ups until the mid-90s, though with both my first partner and my husband, BB was the rule most of the time) and anonymous hooking up began to be seriously frowned upon .

Anyway, while things today have some echoes of that period, the sheer VOLUME and VARIETY and VAST MENU of sexual activity still eclipse our current unbridled  venues and scenes because - in NYC at least - there were just so many more of them, they were so casually available almost EVERYWHERE ANYTIME in venues both private and public and a higher portion of the gay/queer community indulged in them without hesitation or guilt or concern prior to the knowledge of a deadly epidemic and so I must answer, YES, they were that different. Trust me, today is a VAST improvement over the late '80s and the '90s when a large percentage of guys even insisted on condoms for BLOWJOBS for f*ck sake, even putting them on dildos - those were some tragically libido-crushing years! But while there are more options again, and some unbridled bacchanal scenes mercifully returning, they will never again have the naive care-free innocence we had back then and the huge number of opportunities everywhere may or may not return. Almost every Rest Stop, Truck Stop, Department Store Men's Room, Library Men's Rooms, many full-size Porn Theaters - truly distinct from Adult Bookstores and Booth Stores, Live Performance venues like The Gaiety, a huge number of Discos, Clubs, and Event Spaces, Bars that catered to every different sub-culture in the "lifestyle" were rife with sexual activity many neighborhood bars even had sexually active backrooms... If one or two of each of these types of venues has survived not only into the 21st century but also made it through Quarantine with its' doors still open that's awesome, but realize there were at least 10 to 20 to 30 more of each back then.

Not trying sound like some oldster who sits around in his rocking chair complaining how things were better in the old days, there really is a difference between the two periods - in both care-free innocence and sheer volume of both men and venues. Don't let that stop you or anyone else on here from enjoying the opportunities we DO have today - there are very few guys like me who were  THERE and active in the scene THEN while still being HERE and still active in the scene NOW,. The depth and sensuality and satisfaction and LENGTH OF TIME a man can have sex with the assistance of Viagra and the like make today's scene pretty special too - anyone who feels they "missed out" on that time period can always remind themselves that: a) most of those guys from that time period are NOT like me and did not live to see the 90s let alone the 21st century, and, b) we can join scenes now assisted by E.D. pills or shots, and play for much longer!

Well explained.  As someone old enough to have experienced it, it's good to read about your experience firsthand.

I'm British and was born in the late 70s so my experience was vastly different to yours. 

Europe has a very different approach to these things compared to the U.S. 

[topblkmale]

On 9/29/2024 at 7:28 AM, Leather-lee said:

Were the 70s/80s really any different to the unbridled sex you can still find nowadays in saunas, cruising grounds, sex clubs?

 

If you're referring to New York, the answer is NO.

 

[Upfourall]

6 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

i lived in Virginia during the 80's, "Hampton Roads," which is several cities right next to each other, Virginia Beach and Norfolk among them. Norfolk is also home of the world's largest Naval base, as well as several other military bases, so there is a huge military presence. There were several gay cruising places, i lived near one "Ocean View Park" on the Chesapeake Bay. i drove past it on my way to work and could feel the vibe just driving by. There was almost always a crowd of gay guys there, 20-30, just hanging in the parking  lot talking. It was a social setting. Some would be up on the beach sunning. Others would be in their cars jacking off and you'd park next to each other and rise up to show the other guy your cock, then hook from there. Or just out walking around and talk and hook that way. There was also a very active rest room at the park.

 It was essentially drop by sex.  Very easy to get. Some used condoms, the vast majority did not in my experience. That   was just one of many locations scattered around.

Ah, memories. I lost my anal cherry with an Ocean View hookup in the 90s, albeit via a bulletin-board site rather than a cruise situation. Northside Park in Norfolk is still an active cruise site, but Ocean View is all gentrified now.