Fskn... I am in the same situation with my life. The way i have approached it is that I am a total top (okay sometimes versatile top) but I want to find a guy who is romantic and loves to cuddle and kiss and has a big heart for loving me and being loved back. But i also want a guy who is not weirded out if i want to watch another guy pound a load into his ass.
Its a very hard game to play when you have this kind of heart. When u hit guys up on bbrt wanting a date they are like "Dude, i just want a load in my hole" so ive pretty much told myself that I would date guys and say that sex is off the table until we get to know each other. Then once we have gotten to know each other then i'll let them in on my secret. If they love it, thats cool, if they hate it, oh well. Finding a pig that is willing to love is tough. But I have my whole life to find him. Doubt he is in texas unfortunately. Maybe i'll apply to be a flight attendant so i can look for him lol