hungry_hole

Someone who's "officially versatile" is usually someone who enjoys both roles and who says that in his profile so he can get approached by both tops and bottoms. "Total bottoms" are those guys who really enjoy getting fucked and being bred and the say that in their profiles so when someone approaches them they better be someone in the mood to fuck. But it doesn't mean that a total bottom can never fuck and breed a hole, especially in group scenes like gang-bangs and bathhouses. But it seems to me that many total bottoms take their role very seriously and refuse to get off by unloading in someone's hole because they think that it may jeopardize their bottom role. I'm talking about breeding a hole just to go home instead of jerking off. Same here. There have been many times when at the bathhouse I've been bred by a bottom who's just horny and wants to unload and go home.

I'm not sure if it actually helps but I sometimes first coat my hole with Vaseline and use a water soluble lubricant on top.

I usually notice a change in the breathing rhythm. But I like to be told by the top that he's about to cum so I usually tell them something like "If you tell me when you're about to shoot I'll open up my hole to receive your load". I find that most tops end up telling me in some way.

The idea that someone who's a bottom can never fuck and that a top can never get fucked makes no sense. Some guys are tops in some circumstances and bottom in others. "I'll top a younger smaller guy but bottom for an older larger top".

The way I explain why some guys feel the need to pull-out once they cum is because the tip of the cock becomes too sensitive and the bottom is tightening his hole to a point of making it uncomfortable. Everyone who's fucking has a different need for friction. Some can fuck for hours without cuming and even need a tight hole to shoot their load. Others cum too quickly if the hole is too tight. The bottom has to be able to assess how tight or loose should their hole be for every top who fucks them because they are all different. If a bottom wants the top to stay inside after shooting he then has to make sure not to put more pressure on a sensitive cock that it can sustain. Many bottoms say they want to "milk" the cock by squeezing their hole, which sometimes puts too much pressure. I have three recommendations to bottoms who want to increase the chances of a top not pulling out: (1) During the fucking be in-tune with what pleases the top more. Moaning may be OK, especially if the top likes it, but I recommend dirty talk instead. "That hole is for your cock and your cum", "Let me know when you're going to shoot so I can open up my hole and go deep to deposit your cum". (2) Once the top starts to cum I recommend opening up their hole and then tightening it slowly until is comfortable for the top so he doesn't need to pull out. (3) Keep talking dirty and say things like "Keep pumping your load" and always making sure how much pressure to apply. Years ago I had a long time fuck buddy who would drop by my place and fuck me in my bed. This guy every time he came asked me not to touch him and to open up my hole to lessen the pressure on his cock.

Not only tops. Many bottoms who occasionally fuck and breed holes choose a sloppy hole to pump their load. Feeling the cum inside is the big turn-on.

In a porno video it bothers me to hear the bottom moaning because it masks the noises coming from the top.

My first experience of getting fucked by a black guy happened at the local bathhouse many years ago, when bathhouses were very popular. A 20 yr-old black guy kept following me and the times we exchanged words he said "You have nice eyes", but his English was very bad so I wasn't sure. As I opened the door of my room he repeats it "You have nice eyes" but once we were inside my room and his hand finds my lubed hole, I finally understood: "You have nice ass". His cock was bigger than what I was used but it also had a big curve. I first sucked him but he was looking to fuck. Those were still the days of safe sex so he initially asked for a condom but I said that that size cock I could could only take it bareback. Fortunately he didn't last too long because his curved big cock was at times not easy to take. He was generally quiet while he fucked me but just before he squirted his load his groaning was a particular to him. We fucked for about two years and during that time he would every so often call me and say "I'm horny, I wanna fuck". Sex with this black guy was hot.

At a sauna, anonymous stealthing is part of the game, Because everyone is trying to realize their own fetish you cannot believe anything anyone says about their HIV status, which makes stealthing perfectly fine and throw consent out the door.

He may a bottom. Imagine yourself at 21 years old and someone trying to train you as a top. Why would you assume he's a top?

Shame is the emotion most feared because it feels awful, more than every other emotion. There are parts of feeling angry or sad that feel good, but there is NOTHING about shame that feels good. Everybody knows it which is why when you desire something bad on someone else we use the phrase "Shame on you!" as a way of punishment. Because of the torturing characteristics of shame the Compass of Shame suggests 4 ways that people use to deal with the awful feelings of shame. When people experience shame, which cannot be sustained because of the awful feelings that it causes, shame transforms into Anger (attack others) or self put-down (Attack self) as a response. Turning the tables refers to times when someone feeling shame instead of that person continuing feeling shame, they "turn the table" and lash out at what they believe the source of the shame is. A good example is homophobia, which is fear of the shame that being perceived as gay. If you are going down the street and you encounter a group of "straight" guys and for some reason you refer to someone as "you faggot" that man will feel shame of being perceived as gay by his peers so he will lash out with violence against the source of the shame he's feeling. That is the meaning of "turning the table". The two other 2 poles of the Compass of Shame are also common ways in which people react to shame. Withdrawal represents the case when people confronted with shame want to bury themselves in a hole and disappear. The most common way people use to deal with shame is Avoidance which takes many forms but very common in religious people where their religious texts guides them to avoid anything that may trigger shame which is why they oppose homosexuality and many other socially shameful: " Out of sight, out of mind." It's the most common way of dealing with shame by avoiding it all together. Society is so afraid of shame that it presents it as something we should never feel, like sin, so we have invented words to refer to shame like "low self-esteem", "shyness" and "offensive". I'm sure you've all noticed that in hook-up Apps like Grindr the young hot guys have clear pictures of themselves and feel proud of their looks but many older men are not that eager to show their face or body. Many would say that it's because of Ageism but it's really because of shame of looking old.

Did you read about the Compass of Shame? ( https://www.iirp.edu/defining-restorative/compass-of-shame). It's not my "little bubble" as you say. You can also read about Homophobia and shame http://safestsex.org/aboutmen-en.php#5505 and you'll see that is not my "little bubble".

You may have a "background in psychology" but you are still wrong because shame hides behind many other emotions. Because shame is such a unpleasant feeling people don't stay on the shame for too long and they switch to other emotions such as anger and depression. Check out The Compass of Shame by Donald Nathanson: https://www.iirp.edu/defining-restorative/compass-of-shame People don't want to talk about shame so things like "low self esteem" exists but in fact people with low self esteem just have a lot of trouble dealing with shame. "Being offended" is another way of talking about shame without naming it. People who deal well with shame are not offended.

I would prefer that instead of you focusing on the color of my skin, you focused on the censorship issue and gave an opinion. Do you think that other words used by men, like Bear, Rice Queen, etc, should also be retired? How about offensive attitudes towards horny older men? I would not retire any of them.

I couldn't agree more! The PC movement has transformed itself into a nasty hidden form of censorship, not becoming of a society that prides itself for it's freedom. Censorship is never good but PC attitude is so nasty because it hides behind the cloak of "being nice". The emotion "being offended" does not exist and really what they are saying is "I feel ashamed". My suggestion to people who are easily offended would to learn to deal with your shame instead of expecting the rest of the world to avoid any mention of situations that may trigger shame.

Should we then retire the term "Bear", who may offend these poor men who are "treated like an animal"?

For me stealthing is totally OK in anonymous sex, at a bathhouse or Cumunion event, but not OK in most other situations.

I enjoy the anonymous sex scene/talk between men because it's hot but also because it's free from the Politically Correct nonsense that keeps censoring society. Sex profiles can say freely say that they don't like Asians or old guys, or whatever. For someone like myself tired of the PC bullshit, I find this refreshing. And BBC is part of the this PC-less language that I love.

I was in my early 20's and discovered the YMCA in New York City. At least two of top floors were rented as rooms for men only and the first night I rented a room there was a guy getting fucked and taking loads across the hall for my room. Guys would walk in and fuck him, some would leave door open. That bottom was not there the following night so I took over and left my door open and it was turn to service those cocks. I was young and in very good shape so it was easy to get some action. By the way, all the current talk about bareback, breeding, bottom and top was not as popular as it is today.

I you expect that anonymous daddies will always respect your will you are being naive. This may not be what you want to hear but you can protect yourself from being stealth by simply avoiding being bred by anonymous cocks. When the action is anonymous you are no more than an anonymous hole that a top wants to breed and fulfill his fetish without any concern for you. That's the nature of anonymous action.

When I visit Toronto I like staying in a 24-hour room at Spa Excess

If you feel self-conscious of your cock size but you want to try to fuck and breed a hole, it may be better if you go to a bathhouse on a busy night and try topping in a gangbang situation, when some cumwhore bottom is offering his hole to horny guys. Especially when a few guys are gathered around a bottom getting fucked on a sling would be the perfect opportunity for you to step forward because in gangbang situations bottoms are not really picky about looks or cock size.

Drama queen

This caught my attention because it shows that many men are clueless about how male sexuality works. What ErosWired describes happens to him when he cums happens to almost every guy after they shoot their load, whether they are a top, bottom, straight, gay, cumdumps. I've read here bottoms describing their "annoying case" that after they shoot their loads they are done, as if it was something particular to them. Weird. This is why I once mentioned that many bottoms are self-centered, thinking that it only happens to them. What distinguishes guys who top from those who prefer not to, is that "tops" really enjoy the fucking itself, can stay hard for a long time, and a very powerful breeding experience. So I say I'm a bottom because I'm not a very good top but I know that if I enjoyed fucking as much as some guys who've fucked me, I would also be a top.

I was afraid that my posts would not be accepted in Doublelist but haven't had any problems with this ad. I noticed that when the message comes up about the language on the ad, it's sometimes a warning. I find it interesting that although I have no age on my ad, no one has asked my age or anything about me. All they have wanted is a blow job and some have asked for breeding through the gloryhole. No problems with this ad of mine