garsento
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Everything posted by garsento
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Why is this poz thing so exciting?
garsento replied to bareback-flipflop's topic in What's It Like To Be Poz?
That is true, but I think that living that way can risk of normalizing very risky situations. The only way I can imagine properly living would be to constantly gauging situations, to be able to distinguish between high- and low-risk situations as things change. -
Why is this poz thing so exciting?
garsento replied to bareback-flipflop's topic in What's It Like To Be Poz?
People do often tend to believe that the worst will never happen to them. This may be the same thing. -
Why is this poz thing so exciting?
garsento replied to bareback-flipflop's topic in What's It Like To Be Poz?
I suspect, simply, that a lot of people do like risk in sex. This relates to a lot of things, but HIV is one thing. That medical science has advanced to the point where people with HIV under treatment cannot transmit the virus and people on PrEP cannot contact the virus makes this particular fetish all the more practical for these days. I use "practical" to denote a choice that is not life altering. It becomes something you can play with, even, in form if not in reality. I mean, it is true that someone on PrEP getting fisted and fucked and bred by a long-term undetectable top in 2022 is technically taking poz loads, right? -
Quite. But then, people always think that they are lucky, or worse, that the treatment is worse than the alternative.
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Definitely. Over the past decade, even without being on PrEP I have found that I have been drawn to poz undetectable guys. If anything, their being undetectable has appeal; they have confronted a potentially life-ending problem and successfully dealt with it.
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I know two people who had monkeypox, both guys having smallpox shots as kids and one getting Invamune. Each experienced lesions, but one had three and the other had only one that he mistook for an ingrown hair. They got away with very mild cases of the disease. This sort of thing is common. Remember the first smallpox vaccines, which transmitted cowpox. The cowpox did cause disease, but the manifestations were much milder than those of smallpox, hence preferable.
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This complete lack of boundaries and care, for me, undermines the entire point of sex. Why bother if you just want oblivion, to be forgotten or disdained by the few people who know about you?
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I think I will try that more regularly.
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Is there hope for a gay guy that loves his brother?
garsento replied to SilverMoon's topic in General Discussion
I should note that while your brother does sound supportive, nothing of what you describe suggests he might be open to that. This fantasy is potentially very destructive if you act upon it. It might only be realizable if he made the first move. Even then, this is so emotionally charged territory that things might explode even after initial success. Don't do it is my recommendation. -
The number of partners is only weakly correlated. How many people got HIV in relationships where they thought they were monogamous, or where they were only juggling a couple?
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I should note that I got the above observation from an HIV-positive friend of mine. That was his way of coping with a terrifying diagnosis back in the dark old days. If he was careful and still got it, well. I just do not think there really is any correlation between being promiscuous and getting HIV. Sexual activity is obviously important, but it does not have to be much sexual activity. Most transmissions, IIRC, occur inside relationships, with people who do not know their status being most often involved. It is worth noting that this is the case for more heterosexuals worldwide. The heterosexual HIV pandemic in Africa, particularly, is not nearly so much a consequence of contemporary promiscuity as it is a consequence of moderate and perhaps overlapping relationships.
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Unless you are being coerced to have sex, you can stop. You are just choosing not to stop. It all really depends on how you weight things. Do you have good reason to think that your boyfriend would be fine with this? Do you think he might respond by breaking up? Is breaking up something you would be fine with? I am perfectly fine with having open relationships, if the people involved want these. They can work nicely. The big issue is that you need to be open about what you want: If you decide to do things unilaterally and to mislead your partner, to cheat, you are being quite unfair to them.
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The same is true in Ontario: We have had no information on second shots. It is a bit disconcerting to know that even though governments have been saying they have been preparing for a smallpox outbreak since the last vaccinia stockpile was destroyed, when we encounter a disease that is basically smallpox on easy mode we are left gasping. This after we have lived through the worst of COVID-19.
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Anyone else put off meeting due to MP?
garsento replied to BadBob's topic in HIV/AIDS & Sexual Health Issues
Monkeypox contributed to my reduction in partners even before I met a guy I want to be monogamous with. -
Which is fine. The power cuddling is, for me, a perfectly viable activity in its own right, an alternative even. Other people are different.
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I think this could be it. I also suspect that a bigger problem may well be the sheer thoroughness with which the 1980s/1990s lesson of HIV infection leading to death was instilled. Amending things to a recognition that undetectability and non-transmissibility are entirely achievable may be too much for some people.
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In a way, it is not very different from straight people who cannot imagine that what queer men do together, or queer women do together, et cetera, actually counts as sex. If it is not penis-in-vagina, what is it? And how can you talk about it, whatever it is, if you cannot articulate it? One thing I quite like about talking about sex is that the very act of talking reveals new possibilities, things that you can do that you might not have been able to imagine without the talking. Getting fucked with a speculum is one of these things for me; so, too, might this sort of side activity.
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This discussion interests me. I actually think I have been doing something very much like that with my newest partner, in between our very vigorous fucking. It is not only lying next to each other, but is an active embrace, us gripping each other. I really enjoy it. It is not fucking and not obviously orgasmic, but we both have found it very energizing and exciting. I can easily imagine this being something some people might want to make into a primary activity.
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My understanding is that it would work at preventing HIV transmission, and I think PrEP has been at least studied for IV drug users. In the case of breast milk, if the woman providing the milk was not undetectable through treatment than rather than put the baby on PrEP I suspect medical practice would simply keep the mother from providing the infant with breast milk.
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Undetectable is useful information, for positive people and for the people who might have sex with them. I really do not see how someone IDing as undetectable in one circumstance means that they cannot also identify as poz, to the extent that they might want to do either.
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I have to agree. Being anxious about your HIV status after a series of unprotected sexual encounters is a normal thing. There are ways to handle this anxiety that can be constructive, but you need to be able to deal with the root issue,
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It honestly got to be very intense. Good intense, I think but yeah. Wow. Also a goal!
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Speaking as not just a.bottom but as a top, the dynamics are fundamentally changed. Guys fucking an ass usually have to push past the resistance of the anus, but if you have the speculum in properly seated you can literally slip right in. The first time last night's partner entered me with the speculum, he was soft. (That night, oh, fuck was he hard, and big.) It does make the hole being stretched into a different sort of hole to fuck and to be fucked. From my limited experience, tops seem to like it; metal is metal, sure, but most guys seek to get sensation on the top and on the bottom of their dick. They are able to slide in easily and deeply, and it is amazing to feel.
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Good.
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I like this photo, actually.
