rawloadstaken

On the 19th, I go in for a colonoscopy. Ugh.

On the bright side, that means that I will be completely empty on the evening of both the 18th and the 19th.

What to do ... what to do ...

That awkward moment when you arrive for a hookup and find out it's a former co-worker with whom you share a mutual -- and well-substantiated -- loathing.

To clarify: it's understandable that we did not recognize one another over the app, as we last worked together about five years ago, and our respective appearances have changed in that time, but once we heard one another's voices? Yeah ...

Never again. Never, ever again.

Never again will I leave the house without at least an enema bulb in my gym bag.

I've been exhausted recently, and last night I didn't watch my diet as much as I should. (Hello homemade brownies.) Tonight, however, I went by my favorite ABS because I was in the mood to fuck some ass, and I had the chance to add a load to one that was already pretty cum-slick.

I also had the chance to suck on a gorgeous, thick, perfectly-sized, perfectly-shaped uncut cock, and about five minutes in, he pulled back and asked if I bottomed.

*aigh*

I admitted that I wasn't sure how clean I was, and he commented that he'd really wanted to give me his load, then zipped up and walked out of his booth.

Never again will I be without some means of ensuring I'm cleaned out.

It's like the old American Express® commercials: don't leave home without it.

Last night was a nightmare . Suffice it to say that half of what happened made me ill -- not to mention very uncomfortable -- and the other half infuriated me. He rode roughshod over my hard limits, and there were a few times I was terrified, but he was between me and the door, and I just froze. I just agreed with whatever he wanted -- I said what I'm sure he wanted to hear -- and I hate myself for it.

Yes, I did it to protect myself, but that doesn't get rid of the feeling of shame, or disgust, or the stinging from scrubbing myself raw in the shower.

I think I'm going to take some time off from bottoming: I can't get some of the images out of my head, or the bile out of my mouth.

It's going to take some time for the bruising to fade, it's going to take even longer to trust 1:1 encounters again; and, to be honest, right now I'm not even sure I want to go to the bathhouses or theatres.

I'm beginning to wonder if I should change my UN to reflect more of a versatile attitude. Considering I'm topping > 50% of the time anymore, I think it's a bit disingenuous to refer to myself as a bottom.

Then again, I suppose versatile bottom would be a reasonable change. I mean, I still love hot throbbing cocks up my ass, plowing me and blowing their loads into my guts, it's just that I'm also enjoying breeding and seeding the asses offered, and I'm liking some of the head I've been getting.

Four raw cocks. Four pullouts.

Three loads on the floor, one on another guy’s dick. Who then used it to jerk off and dumped his load on the floor.

Argh.

As my birthday approaches ... again ... damn it  ... I'm debating what I want to do with that time.

• Should I go to Hawks, the Oregon Theater, various ABSs, hit up CraigsList, and use both apps and websites to collect loads?
• Should I take a one or two day trip to Seattle to visit Club Z, Steamworks, Hawks, and hit up the Seattle sites and apps for loads?
• Should I fire up Skyrim, get a haircut, sit down for a manipedi, and grab a pizza?
• Or ... or ... or ...

Oh, don't get me wrong: I know what I should do, I'm just not sure of what I will do.

It's guys like you that make me glad I'm vers.

Wish me luck: if all goes well, I'll have a thick-dicked total top at my place around 6:30 Thursday morning, and he'll hopefully be buried in my ass by 6:45.

He asked me if I wanted him to come inside me.

Hm. I'm chatting with him on a bareback site, my profile photo is a cummy ass, and my chat handle is rawloadtaken.

I'd take that as a yes. 

9.5", 2.5 hours, 4 loads.

Oh yeah, I'll be visiting him again.

Hm.

Out of curiosity, does anyone know of any bareback studios who're looking for someone who is (unfortunately) not in as good a shape as he might wish to be, but is still a voracious enough bottom that he can take cock with the best of 'em?

Alright: it's Saturday afternoon/evening, I'm cleaned up and cleaned out, I have some money in my wallet, and I've got a full tank of gas in the car.

Time to see what kind of trouble I can get into.

Wish me luck!

Public Service Announcement

Never sneeze when:

[1] your ass is loaded with cum,
[2] you're wearing khaki linen shorts, and
[3] you're in the middle of a grocery store

Luckily I got out of there before it started leaking through, but there was a definite *splat* in the the kitchen of my apartment when I finally got home.

All I can say is thank heavens my roommate had already left for work.

I was chatting with a (supposedly) undetectable poz top lsat night on A4A, and we were discussing a meetup between us. Please note: at that point, neither of us had unlocked pictures on our respective profiles.

I've stripped his name -- I'm annoyed, but I'm not that big of a tool to out him -- but here's the timeline as it appeared:

(17 mins ago) unlock?
(11 mins ago) guess thats a no?
(10 mins ago) thanks for looking and not replying . pussy.

And then he blocked me.

Seven minutes from "I want to fuck you" to "I'm a 13 year old girl who demands immediate gratification."

All I can think is that I dodged a bullet with that one: if he can't wait seven minutes for a response, he's not the sort of individual I'd want to play with.

Yeah, holding off on any sexy times for a bit.

My doctor changed out one of my meds and changed the dosage on another, and I'm just a touch too fatigued and dizzy to drive.

He said the side effects should (hopefully) fade over the next week or two, but I'm afraid I'll have nothing to report 'til then.

Sorry about that.

Sssssooooo ... yeah.

I've decided to bite the bullet and send in a model application for Stocky Dudes. I may also send one in for Hairy Adult Modeling as one of their clients/affiliates is Bear Films, as there's a possibility I may fit their demographic as well.

That said, I'm still working on my body [down four pounds and 1.5% body fat since last check-in], and assuming [hoping, really] I'm accepted by but not under an exclusivity contract for either of the aforementioned studios, I may well apply for Treasure Island Media once I'm a bit more toned.

Well ... damn it.

My provider has me on a new medication -- Tamsulosin -- and I'm being subjected to one of its side effects: retrograde ejaculation.

Don't get me wrong: I can still orgasm ('tho it takes longer), but I'm no longer able to provide the loads I did a couple of weeks ago. We're researching other options, but right now, I can either top without the load or focus on being a bottom whore.

That said, I have absolutely no problems with being a bottom whore, but I do miss seeing my cum running out of a bottom's ass.

Last night I took a cock that still has me aching a bit.

He wasn't exceptionally long -- maybe 6.5 - 7" -- but damn was he thick. I'm talking Red Bull® thick.

Aside from his initial load -- which oozed around his cock because of how much he'd gaped me open -- he decided it'd be a good idea to keep slow-fucking me until he dumped a second load into my guts.

So ... yeah. Sore, but so worth it.

Okay, I'm going to make a controversial statement, but it's one I hold dear to my heart:

I get fucking infuriated when people refer to PrEP as "training wheels."

I take PrEP because I choose to. I take PrEP because I enjoy bareback sex, and always have. I take PrEP because I want to take PrEP. I take PrEP because it means I don't feel stressed out when I'm being bred.

I don't take PrEP because it's training wheels, or because I secretly want to be pozzed, or because I want the thrill of slowly going off of it, or because I want someone to tell me to go off of it, or because I want someone to force me to go off of it.

Does this mean I avoid HIV-positive play? Hell no. A cock is a cock, and a load is a load. Besides, I take loads at the ABS, in a sling in a bathhouse, blindfolded in a hotel room ... how am I supposed to know what their status is? That said, I do not wish to seroconvert; thus, I made the informed, personal decision to start -- and to keep -- taking Truvada.

I take it because I fucking love taking anonymous loads, and by being on PrEP, I have fewer personal concerns, as it's tied to lessening the risk of becoming HIV-positive.

Lessening.

Is it possible I still will at some point? Yes, it is. Nothing -- nothing -- in life is guaranteed.

As an example, I almost became a father years ago because -- even though my partner was on the pill for PCOS, and even though her PCOS naturally lowered her ability to become pregnant, and even though we used condoms, and even though we used spermicidal foam -- I impregnated my partner.

And so I got a vasectomy.

But here's the thing: I didn't get a vasectomy because it was "training wheels" for having my balls chopped off, I got it because I didn't want to risk getting someone else pregnant.

You see, to me, other people saying PrEP is "training wheels" for giving into their actual desire of becoming HIV-positive is as ludicrous as me saying that blood slamming in order to become HIV-positive is "training wheels" for that person's actual desire to blood slam in order to become infected with Marburg hemorrhagic fever.

Neither is accurate, and both are offensive.

... okay, maybe the Marburg comparison is slightly more offensive, but still ...

Look, I know I'm not going to change anyone's minds, but Jesus, dudes, please try to remember that different people take PrEP for different reasons, and not because they're all secretly planning on dipping their toes into the poz swimming pool.

I apparently misremembered when my roommate worked. Either that, or she took tonight off.

I came out of my room after being pounded for a half hour and begging for his load only to see her sitting on the sofa watching television and blushing furiously.

He rather sheepishly tucked his dick back into his pants and almost ran out of the door and my roommate and I just stared at one another for a few seconds before we both busted up laughing.

I didn’t necessarily like embarrassing her – or being embarrassed – but hey, this is why she’s a kick-ass roomie.

Admission:

My local ABS are closing for at least two weeks, the Oregon Theater closed, CumUnion has been canceled, and I've not seen a single Sex Now ad in the last eleven days. That said, I slaked my thirst, and now shall play it safe - as regards the coronavirus, of course, for I shan't use that term to describe my views on condoms - until this pandemic is under better control.

Pros:

Took three loads in the ass, got to swallow two, and was called both handsome and hot whilst cruising.

Cons:

Two individuals were 86'd for... less than appropriate behavior, one had outstanding police trespassing notices, two kept going limp as soon as their glans touched my hole, and one was so high that he crashed backward, slammed into the wall, and started slurring and moaning.

That last one? Yeah ...

All in all, while the sex was enjoyable, I've taken enough risks this go-round, and shall rely instead on a pageant wave for the foreseeable future.

Two loads today: a HUGE load from a huge ass-splitter at Peeps Too, and a second big load from a smaller cock at Imagine That in Bend.

The one at Peeps was kinda funny: I could barely get my mouth around him, and he grinned and asked "anal?"

I think i had him in my ass before he finished the word.

I kept his load in me during the whole drive, and that was enough lube for the second guy four hours later. 

Today is Friday -- thank heavens -- and I have the weekend off.

I went by Peeps Too on the way home, chatted with a friend behind the counter, got some change, and headed to the booths. It took less than five minutes before I was balls-deep in a tight-bodied twink.

I'm not sure how long I fucked him for, but it was at least three dollars worth, and then I blew a five-day load into him. I kept pumping for another minute or two, just to make sure I was tapped out, then slipped out of his cummy hole.

Buttoned up, came home, and now I'm hard as stone just thinking about it.

Goddamn, but I love being versatile.

I just had a 38 y.o. hottie tell me he wanted to fuck me and unload in my ass, then apologize for being so forward.

And who says chivalry is dead?

For individuals who are interested in barebacking, but (doing something to assist with) remaining HIV-Negative, and who are rightfully concerned about the cost of Truvada, here's some information about financial assistance via the Gilead Advancing Access Program.