Kayne

I know the mental hell you're going through mate. After I was exposed, I went through literal years of "False Positive" "fast" tests. Full panel blood testing always insisted that I was Neg. It was an Emotional Rollercoaster I rode alone because I had some baggage from growing up during the crisis,having lost many people during that time. I also wrestled with an inevitably complex. from my background. After my doctor literally mixed up my at the time latest test with another patient, I quit testing and adopted a "Don't Ask/ Don't Tell Don't Care" attitude. That probably wasn't the smartest move, but I found the stress of wondering if the results I was staring at were accurate, and checking Web MD against every blotch on my skin, every cut on my gums and every bout of IBS was killing me. If I can offer some advice, I'd say use your head. Use any resource you have access to. Keep taking an active interest in your health. And above all, don'Psych yourself out about it. I spent 16 years at war with myself, not fully embracing myself, All of myself because a test result was defining my life and how i lived it and in my case I wound up Poz anyway. take from that what you will. I'm not advocating "letting go" and this isn't about any kink/ fetish I have. I just want you to know how a False positive can shake one up and I'm here for you.

I've been propositioned many times. I guess these days its most memorable when its unwanted because if bad timing. its seems that as of late I get publicly hit on when I'm Taking Care of Mom. I remember being on a crowded bus with mom and this hung guy kept rubbing his dick against my hand and smiling. I have a lot of stories though. I miss the times when I could act on the proposal.

Riveting! I couldn't stop reading !

nice. very nice!

I don't believe a magic number makes one automatically ready or matured enough to make this decision. If one sets obvious abuse and grooming aside, people mature at different rates and this "one size fits all attitude stinks. Also the " there is no defense/ excuse / you should have known attitude is disgusting. at 14 years old, even with a baby face, I was turning tricks, hanging out in bars and being served and hanging out in ABS around men that if caught, would have been ruined. and the lion's share of the contact was initiated by me. I can't tell you how many cabbies firemen and store owners I had contact with in my grandmother's neighborhood in Queens when I was Jailbait. I'm not bragging. far from it. I was a boyscout with guys that were still thinking about "cooties" Sex wasn't on their radar yet. Government involvement is a necessary evil to protect kids from literal predators ( although in some places the laws are written to protect a certain class of predator) Still i feel if you need a license to drive or to marry. there should be a test/ license to consent to fuck. it drives me crazy that one can join the mitary for indoctrination In junior high school starting with Color Guard. One can join the military as early as 16, But while you're being taught to march and kill, one can't drive, vote, smoke, have an adult beverage or consent to having you junk slapped around by the person of your choice . its fucking wild.

Ahh, that's where life comes in . Learning is repetitive. its trial and error. touch your hand to a hot surface as a little one, that memory sticks. Life teaches us (most of the time anyway), that there is no free lunch. no consequence free action. life teaches us that often when its too good to be true, it is in fact, false. the desire to grasp that consequence free opportunity, and what one has learned from life experiences will often make a man freeze. this is life outside of the matrix sadly. *slight laugh*

I think we all long for a consequence free outlet to let out innerselves loose. At the tnd of the day most of us are constrained. We are forced to act in certain ways to keep the status quo. There are exceptions. Bums are so far down that they don't have to put on airs. The disgustingly wealthy have "Fuck You" money. so when a rules free no consequence opportunity comes along to let the beast out, by and large, people will choose that path. I miss the days when I had it like that, and wish I had taken further advantage of the opportunities I had back then.

Yes and all day long mate!

This is one way to make it in Show business

Well, I will say what I learned and how it shapes my view. The vast majority of clients Don't exactly pay for the sex. They rarely pay for the time that "The job" takes, Nor is it about companionship most of the time. Sure, these little gems can be sprinkled in, but I've learned the majority is a notion that once he's dropped his load, the sex worker goes away, and allows him to become Mr. Again. Momma used to say A woman in the dirt is a whore, but a man can be in the same dirt, but stand up and dust him self off. straighten his hat and tie, and still be called "mister" " Master" or "Sir". I'm sure there is an analog for male to male interactions. do with this what ye will.

I totally feel this in my soul mate!

Thats so wrong, but so hot

Thing about this is we're in such a precarious state that we as gay men may be forced to rebuild and utilize the services of bathhouses and such again due to the political/ societal pendulem swinging back the other way and jeopardizing our civil rights and our very ability to exist. Our culture was born out of being cast as the "Others" as the undesirables. as the outsiders. its not ideal, but perhaps we'll restore some of the individuality we've lost.

A few people have hit on the reasons Bathhouses are going away but I'll summarize Technology - at no time in our history has making a casual connection been more accessible and convenient. we've all got mini super computers in our pockets now. The ease of connecting is an after thought. Internet - If the Technis the hardware The internet is the software that makes the hardware run. Visability /Cultural Acceptance - Visibility and acceptance has pushed our community into conformity. In a Hetronormaltive Society, things such as public sex, crusing, and "Private spaces" to carry on such activities are rare at best, non existent at worse. Straight people don't need to connect that way, In conforming to their ideals and habits, Such places become unnecessary or cumbersome. Disease - HIV, Sars, Monkeypox, Covid, Herpes. Like it or not, Pathogens flourish in such places. Public Health will always have a stake in such things Gentrification - Money will always play a part, and even if Gay bathouses are a wildly profitable concern, it won't be more profitable than high value real estate. Generational Shift - As we move in i to the future, there is very little of the past that survives. A changing culture that demonizes or villifies the old ways in which we as gays are introduced into our culture, the newer generations can only replace the old ways with the internet and tech. If the stories are not shared and passed down, the stories die with the storytellers But thats. just one himbo's perspective.

Here is my Big Dumb Jock Perspective - as Former Sex Worker. First, I won't disclose when I started, or when it ended, just to protect the integrity of the site rules and certain sensibilities, especially when terms of age, consent and autonomy are brought to bear. now on to the question. Understand that as humans, we are always paying ourselves first. And no, It doesn't matter that happens. That self payment can be to provide a basic need, such as food, clothing or shelter. Or that self payment could be in the form of an ego boost. It could be a physical or emotional high one is chasing. There are many other ways, but suffice it to say that no one does anything without getting something tangible for themselves. This is not something that comes from others. this part is between you and yourself. With that understood, Sex Work became " Work" for me when, I was forced into an encounter I didn't want, If I had a client that I had to "pretend" to be into, If was in a situation in which I was not having fun, or feeling gratified, When I was in a situation where I felt unsafe or afraid, If I had to perform acts that I was not into. That was when the monetary renunciation compensated for whatever caused me to feel obligated, or that it was a "job" Also remember that the exchange of "something of Value" need not include "legal Tender" its anything one Values. A cumslut that Values Sperm, is paid. Housewives that relieve food, shelter, and pearls from fucking their husband's are paid. The dude that will Fuck the Chicago Bulls for and autographed trophy has been paid. and why is that? Because we define what is of value, and a monetary vue can be assigned to absolutely anything if you try hard enough. so that one doesn't take "money" Is not truly relevant.

Fuck boi! that was good!

Please don't assume I don't know the history, either of Daytime talk shows, or The Struggle. American Pendulum has often swung back and forth from indifferent ambivalence, and Lynching Bonfires. In the 20th Century, while not as visible orout there, Some gays lived openly and proudly, giving zero fucks. Like William Haines. But, surprise, they weren't all stinking rich. The moral panic that began after the 1929 Stock Market q. Internationally, being Gay was celebrated in Much of European those that didn't celebrate it, just didn't care. Things got uglier during Hitler's Reign, but here in the good old US, it was the Lavender Panic and Eisenhower's declaration "That Queers and Communists didn't exist in the USA " (paraphrased) that incited the climate you so graciously educated me on. Even then, even though it was hard, people lived without Involving others in force that ultimately damages everyone. And Keeping a secret like that during the darkest days of the AIDS Crisis was not only Unethical, but Cruel. I'm Black, the Fucking "Down-low" has selfishly condemned scores of straight women to early unnecessary deaths. I'm Not sorry, in those circumstances I'm gonna be standing for needs of the many. In my own opinion, - just my opinion mind you,- Lying and fooling others into making decisions without pertinent facts, that will ultimately put another person in peril is disgusting. The dishonesty in pretending to be something you're not, only adds to "Their" hatred and disapproval Don't get me wrong, Privacy is great. I'm all for keeping others out of my private affairs. but, if I had a platform, and me being "Out" could help even one person I'm the guy thats gonna be out there. But these are my bud dumb jock feelings on the subject

Fuck...I admit it... I'm spellbound

Okay so you're telling me that whether or not you consciously realize it in the moment or not that if you.... Pay for the date or pay for the transportation - even if it was just to transport one of you so that you both share the same space- Pay for the shelter / Vene ... that if he, last minute decides to leave you bluebells, you're not gonna be pissed? when you've come out of pocket with at least 3 other people that aren't even the guy you want to nut in. I'm looking for your honest raw reaction, not the societal curated understanding that you "aren't entitled" to sex If the fact thatcyou had to pay everyone around him ro get your dick wet, and it doesn't happen. you're a fucking Saint. and by the same token, if you're already shelling out ducats everyone else, why does payi g the dude actually involved with knocking your bits around, so insulting , abhorrent, or degrading to you?

You know, when I was a kid, AIDS was the boogeyman and a death sentence. I remember All those women on Donahue, The original Jerry Sprin.ger, Oprah and Sally Jesse Raphael , who were with men for 20/30/40 years who gave them kids and made homes for them only to be rewarded with HIV and or a Trans partner. I always thought that getting an innocent person involved i. your fucked up life/ lying to your partner for decades and then dropping this bombshell was a Dick move and if I could out assholes like that, I'd do it .

I'm gonna have to disagree with you here big time. Now that we can actually speak about sex work unvarnished in this forum I'm going to say I am all for it! And no only because I have been a part of that world, or even that I was born into it. Man (Woman) comes into this world with nothing he truly owns but his body. If for what ever reason, (not every sex worker is a victim) (S)He decides to use what (s)he's got, to get what (s)he wants / needs, that is no one else's business. It never ceases to amaze me how people are perfe tky fine with paying everyone else to get a piece of you. what do I mean by that? the venue is paid. be it a movie, show, restaurant, night club- your meeting place gets paid. you pay for gyms and clothes and perfumes or colognes and sometimes surgery to make yourself attractive so that someone may want to have sex with you. you pay for food, you pay for drinks you might pay for drugs. All these other people get something so that you have a chance to drain your balls. But you draw the line at paying the person who you intend to dump your load into. and it doesn't matter if its a lifetime commitment or a 3 minute quickie. at the end, the one DOING the work should receive something other than Jim dripping out of their various holes and an STD Panel. Most people pay Sex Workers to go away afterwards anyway, because post nut clarity bring back whatever religeous or Societal dogma you've been raised with making one wanna distance one's self from the "filthy things" they've done... for example... youpick up some trade you get you dick sucked, your cum swallowed. you feel better because your wife (girlfriend, boyfriend etc) would never do that for you, or your church said you sinbed because that wasn't ti create new life. shame fills your thoughts and you want that person farcaway so you can lie to yourself that it never happened. But not everyone likes being used and thrown away. compensating them negates some of the damage you've caused. but you're not okay paying for that. yeah... That to me is disgusting. I would also like to add that some people are not able to charm, con, seduce, or use any other means to get into someone else's pants. yet, human contact - carnal contact is a basic human need as we are social creatures. I see no difference between Fucking/ being fucked, a sex worker or spending arguably more to lay on a couch and talk to some doctor about how you hated your parents growing up.

qIts the simplicity of it all for me. With fame, one receives a platform. Its each Man's choice on how to use the one given. Use it for evil and well... Win stupid games... If you're gonna make my life harder by deliberately making it harder and or more dangerous to be who I am, I'm gonna revel your darkest secret you want to blame.it on the edit? Not with me around, never that.

This was the best part of the wildest ride! bravo