Kayne

Thanks Jim. in the end I think we are all just finding our way. we can only do our best. Certain things may shape us. it doesn't follow that we allow them to define us.

I don't know whether talking about my experience is gonna add fuel to this fire, but this subject touches me, so I am gonna say my piece. I've described in other threads what I went through as a child. It was horrific. there were years of fear, secrecy and pain. at 6 I should have been a care free child playing with toys and learning about the world. instead, I modeled the psychotic and self destructive behavior of my abuser... My dad. This was going on while I was still being abused by my "God parents" My Mom had to shut me away in a psychiatric children's hospital, where I was raped by a teenager also in the facility. I spent years 7- 10 in another facility where the abuse continued. I say this because it really fucked up my ability to trust. It fucked up my ability to be comfortable around others. It made me paranoid. It totally destroyed my ability to ask for help, It is a good thing to teach a child that nothing in life is "Free" but teaching them that everything has a proce in the manner that I was taught does irreversible damage. Mental Health facilities are like prisons in their way . I was on my own an surviving meant I had to learn to use my body to get what I needed or wanted. extra food, protection and the like. Surviving meant I couldn't appear weak or defenseless. Surviving meant I had to learn to act like and identify with those with the power. by the time I was 10, Iwss a predator. I bounced from underage hyper sexual predator targeting older men and boys to creepy teen babysitter. I went from Fine to suicidal. Im amazed that though I fantasized about drugs I never did any or got hooked. even as a bartender. I didn't start drinking again until I was 25. (there was much earlier experience with alcohol). I Did gamble, I did shop. Hell!i became a stripper. To this day my mind goes to very dark, very dangerous places. many of them I have been able to keep away fromby the grace of some higher power. The post orgasam guilt and disgust I feel can be crippling. at times. And still I have self destructive behaviors like bug chasing despite being Poz. Mentally "re-writing" history to give me agency and power has helped me cope and its gotten my rocks off. but being able to step outside myself to be both victim.and aggressor scares the shit out of me some days. Having someone depend on me is a healthy deterrent to indulging indulging in things best not discussed or disclosed. At the end of the day I don't believe anyone who says he or she was nod adversely affected by sex too early. I also don't believe that society's idea ofva "magic" number be it 16, 18, 21, or whatever, makes a person ready or mature enough to handle sexual situations. I do think today's kids are worse off than their forebears when you consider that people had whole families at what we call the age of consent today less than 200 yars ago. But times change. I dont believe the issue is as black or white as its been made to be. I do know that despite living in a world of gray, is hard and many people prefer the simplicity of black or white.

like Mickey D's I'm Lovin' it!

that is quite fun. Dragons also have knots

I only tried condoms for a couple years in my teens. I hated them the only real positive I found was that ot kept me from getting shit on. but at the end of the day that really ain't worth it. There is a reason why Raw is law. but condoms can supply one with the best lube.

You're right! A good portion of what you just said was my mindset for years. I went to one clinic for something unrelated and had a nurse out right tell me when I refused a hiv test " you already know its true, just get it over with" but yeah I know I went through what you described

My story Is long a itvplays like a ga.e or Russian Roulette. If q ythu g, I should have been pozzed way before my 18th birthday. I know how I think I was Pozzed, but increasingly unlikely. I'm uncut tad while I have sucked cock practically all my life, I've been exclusively a Top since I was 20 (Not by choice) I went through years of false positives only to be proven Neg with more detailed tests until the day I decided that DADT was right for me and that I didn't care. part of me didn't want to know. But If I did get it from topping and not in the hospital as is my belief, I'd like to think that it was the time I hooked up with a College Prof. and his Dealer We Dbl Fucked him for hours. I know he bled. After a shower, I saw a note on the mirror said "Welcome to the brotherhood" I found his empty AZT bottle. The prof grinned and told me" you gotta assume Everyone's charged. I stopped testing after that. It's been 6 years since its been official

Those are better left on private. I don't want to vilate any of the rules here.

Dude. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I don't even know my Dad's Family. they utterly disowned me when I was a kid the minute my old man passed on. My Mom's family was emotionally toxic. (not my mom but much of her family) you must have felt so alone. I know I did. so I'm sorry.

Lucky Bastard! Hope you're Enjoying all that Arabian cum!

No worries Mate. and thanks!

Aw Fu k! I'm hooked. Beginning to regret not giving my Ass over to that Casting Director when I was 19...!

I was homeless when I was in my teens. I lived with my Mom in some of NYC's "Finest homeless shelters" There is a lot I can't say about my experiences without violating rules. but what I can say is that I had a lot of interesting experiences. I kept it up on occasion well into my late 20's. The last guy that I know was homeless/ a bum was a guy I had played with many times from those teen Days. we got Busted when the Pope came to town, and a Fancy New High Rise Condo went up and overlooked the semi public wooded Crusing grounds. When we were in the cage, I heard him telling the cops he was Poz... but that is a different story, for another time and another thread. I will say though, I miss some of those days.

I remember my Late teens and this friend I had in high school. He was Egyptian and Afghani. His Dad ran a corner store. The old man caught me drilling his son one day after school. I thought hecwas gonna kick my ass. Instead, he dropped trouble and seeded me while I bred his boy. I lost track of them after 9/11. The Climate here against anyone from that region was quite toxic and they left the U.S. But I have Appreciated Arabian men ever since.

Sadly, thats about the size of it.

Its My Mom. And once I can afford to find someone I can trust that she is comfortable with. I will do that.

I fuckin Love Race Play. I love White cock I love breeding white hole.. I'm right with u bro!

I live in NYC. I'd be here all day if I recounted every Men's room, Bathhouse, Subway station, Tunnel, car and Platform, Every parking lot, bublic park or office building Jail cell,commuter bus, stadium house of worship or a dark street alley or abandonded store front or between parked cars or City roof top where we could be seen by others in taller buildings or every sex club or night club with a black out room My desire is to have more sleazy public sex. to drop more loads and take even more. but. the older I get and the more conservative the world around me. gets, the more I have to lose. but damn I miss the days whenI was brave enough to grab a had cock on a crowded subway train

I Have been perpetually horny for as far back as I can remember. However, over the lastv10/ 12 years or so, I have been a fulltime Caregiver. I do so in a 1 br apt and I'm mostly unable to get out and breed. or be bred. and I am never alone to please myself. the last time I came inside another man was Feburary 2020. it was the last time I has any sex.

Oh Fuck! that was hot! More please!

I'm not a TPP exactly- more like Top - adjacent, But? Speaking g for me? You hit the nail on its head.

FUCK! A pig After My own Heart!

Okay... so if this is fiction, or Fictionalized than Bravo. Hot Fantasy from Several angles. The way you eroticise the wants, step by step makes me feel like this is either total fiction / wish fulfillment or rhos was consensual non consent If this is real on the other hand, I wouldnl call you reckless self destructive. I once expressed my views about situiins like this. the opinion wasn't popular, but I stand by it. I'll condense it to. Accepting personal responsibility for your actions. Everything hat you described was in your control. Should He have respected your "Boundaries?" Absolutely. Is " mixed signals / blurred lines" an acceptable excuse in 2022. No. But it is low to lead a man on on this way ans complain that you were S.A.'d Especially when we all know you're gonna do it againSonI choose to believe its fiction and say FuuuucK that's Hot!

when I was a teen (90's) There was a black porn star Named Scorpion Aka Brian Stinger. He has a scorpion on his cock and I've wanted one ever since. Too bad I'm q grower and not a show-er also my dick is like 2 shades darker than the rest of me.so it would be lost on me. I always wanted a Biohqzard Tat but between a dragon, Biohazard or scorpion I've never been able to decide which. if I could combine them into one image I'd love to get one of my pec to the shoulder.

I'm a Furry M-preg is Huge Turn-on for me!