leatherpunk16

I am curious to know how well you did at the event.

And familiar. I'm pretty sure I've read this before.

I was part of one in Chicago back in 2016. Great times. Last time I went to an event was in 2018, but it was a dry party that turned into a bareback orgy of grandpas. What happened to my skoooooool...?

When I see unattractive performers making money, and I have to sit here and watch it. When _______ just doesn't seem that special or can't do more than look with pup-dog eyes at their top, I have to wonder how they keep getting work and I don't. Yeah, the grapes are sour.

Yes, it is better that I did not. When I become successful in the business in the ways that I desire, I want him to approach me, completely forgetting who I am, and asking me to do a film. And I'll tell him quite publicly, "I'm sorry, I just don't buy you as a legitimate director", or something like that. Since I didn't work for him, I don't know the answer to your question. But what you describe sounds like he makes performers exclusive to his studio, and I don't think he would do that with someone he didn't like.

At the risk of going off-topic, not a whole lot. I met with him only twice on Skype when I was still very new to the industry. I talked to his assistant mostly. Michael was not a nice person. While he knows his business, he definitely did show himself to be a diplomatic person or a reasonable one. He expressed interest in working with me, and when we had our "interview" (I use the term ironically because it was super short and didn't tell me anything other than he wanted a punching bag that day in June), he said I have a cute face and a nice dick, but a shitty body. He proceeded to tell me how I should do fitness and diet, "just eat lots of protein like chicken and eggs", and I was already several steps ahead of him on this. After slimming down and getting my abs in September, I messaged him again, and his assistant said I need to follow the attached diet and workout plan. When I opened this email, it was just the results of a study that had nothing of diet in it and barely mentioned physical activity. Idiot couldn't send me the right things. I started bulking on my own. He didn't show up for our interview the following February, and I got no excuse or explanation. So I rescheduled it for March. He didn't show for that, either. I finally called him, and he wasn't expecting me. He said that I look much better, and then said "You have the wrong body for porn." Why the F did he waste my time like that? Nine months ago he could have said that. Then he proceeded to nitpick and very nearly took back his supportive words. Later I got my revenge on Twitter. He had gone to Germany and filmed something with this hulking dude I don't know. Michael posted a photo of the two of them, and said, "Gee, I look tiny next to this dude." Guess what my reply was. "Maybe you have the wrong body for porn." Michael didn't respond but the big guy in the photo thought it was funny. I will never support anything by Lucas Entertainment, no matter which of my friends or peers choose to work for him. The horror stories from other models are quite enough, but my personal experience indicates that I dodged a bullet with that one. No matter how bad things get, I won't allow myself to get back in that situation where he can say it again.

I have many regerts [sic], but I'll share just one. Not the biggest, but certainly true. When I was 22, a brother from another chapter of my fraternity joined my university's chapter, a bitchy bottom named Rob. The day we met him, he told us who he was and all of us accepted him. I did not - I could see from the start that this dude was Trouble with a capital B. Rob let us know, in no uncertain terms, that he was a faggot and had no shame about it. Coming from a place that wasn't accepting of such people - we were objects of ridicule in those days - I felt I needed to connect with Rob, even if I didn't like him. My thinking then was that I could get him on my good side, and have a gay ally. I was NOT out of the time, and really not comfortable with my sexuality. I think I pinged his gaydar, and we tried to talk alone on that first day. Privacy we certainly had, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him about my desires. As our first year together went on, he saw some very ugly sides of the person I was. I did some pretty hateful unforgivable things during fraternity activities, and told a lot of lies about a lot of things. I was seriously fucked up, and did everything I could to sabotage the fraternity. He and I were NOT friends, but we weren't enemies, either. He was just a smartass, and I was a closeted pussy with an inflated ego. One night, I made a pass at one of our more attractive brothers in a covert way, and Rob detected it. He dragged me outside, and grilled me about whether I was attracted to men. I dodged the question repeatedly, which probably told him everything he needed to know. I was VERY CLOSE to spilling my guts when one of our other brothers came into sight, and invaded our space. I took that as an insult as well as a relief because the focus would be taken off me for a sec. I don't think I ever officially told Rob, though I tried really hard to build a bridge with him. In hindsight, I think Rob knew where I was coming from. The anxiety over coming out might have been very similar to his - I don't remember if he ever shared his coming out story with me. Or maybe it wasn't. But I think that if I had just given in and answered his query, maybe the whole course of my gay life would have been different. It's entirely possible that Rob and I fought because of sexual tension between us, and maybe we would have fucked if I had just admitted it. Why does a boy fight with a girl in his class and put gum in her hair, and play dirty tricks on her? Malice? No. It's because he likes her. And I wasn't that different. I like to think it would have been possible, and maybe he would have helped me come to terms, accept myself, come out to peers and family, and live a happier life. I regret this because it would have led down a different road. Maybe a better road, but because it was so long ago, I can't know how that would have turned out. A missed opportunity that was in my fucking hands, and I just dropped it and ran. Maybe I should look him up. Wouldn't take long to dig up his Facebook profile. It won't change the past, and he'll probably still have resentment toward me for all the shit I did back then, but... does he need to know? Does it matter after 20 years? Or is it best to let a sleeping dog lie?

I don't mean to contradict, but let's look at this differently. You're medicated, ya? You don't live with HIV - it lives with YOU. You are the one who suppresses it and keeps it under control, and it doesn't control you. I think this would be a more positive mindset (pun intended).

I wish I had a sex addiction. Would probably improve my odds of success in porn. It would give me impetus to post more pictures, make better films, go out and have more fun. Even in my youth, I had very little sex drive. It just wasn't a thing for me, not because I didn't enjoy it or because of fear, but I didn't see it as a motivator for anything. Later in life when I came out and was free to go after what I wanted, I fed the hunger only when it appeared. If I forced it, I didn't really have a great time. Sometimes not worth the hunt and all the work. I wondered if there was something wrong with me. Why were my peers horndogs and I wasn't? When I had my boyfriends, I could relax about it. I had someone to encourage me and help me get across that divide. And when both of those relationships ended, my cock and hole went into slumber mode, only to be aroused again when opportunity appeared (which wasn't often). Lust never really took over. I still feel like there's something wrong. Is it a chemical imbalance? Do I not care? Is it feelings of inadequacy? I don't know. I can get hard, and I can be amorous. I just don't feel a NEED to do it. Like a woman, I can go for years without sex. And as I move toward middle age, I sense that if I don't use it, I will lose it. Completely. And as a budding porn star, this terrifies me. It's tantamount to professional suicide. Anyone got an idea how to fix this? Do I need a sex therapist? Or should I be grateful that I don't have to fuck every guy in sight?

Story time! Last IML (2019), I was just leaving the Black and Blue Ball. I was with other people I didn't know and we were all waiting for the bus to take us back to the Congress Hotel. During our wait, we got a little show. This aged black man, who was clearly a homeless man, approached and tried begging for change from the group. When we all replied with silence, he pulled his pants down, sat on the sidewalk, and started furiously masturbating a rather sizeable penis. Someone gave him a dollar for the free show. His speech became incoherent at this point, and the bus turned up at last. One girl surmised that he was probably really high on something, and that it melted his brain. That "it happens to homeless people a lot". I honestly don't get how one can have a fetish for this.

I find that the sex goes better when the bottom is cleaned out. The dick has a clear shot to push through without any resistance. Sometimes when the bottom has a little obstruction there, it can be quite painful to have it pounded. This leads to tears and bleeding. And some bottoms are VERY self-conscious about being unclean when they fuck. This is also good advice for those who enjoy toys. It's not fun cleaning the shit off your dildo in the kitchen sink, and if you get caught, you might have two things to be embarrassed about. Plus the scent is very distinctive. Some tops will be turned off by it. A couple years back, this handsome hung fella came to my house and fucked me in my sling. Huge dick. I cleaned out as best I could, but evidently missed a spot. He was bigger than I expected, so he got a little deeper than expected. He hit a pocket of water that I stubbornly chose to hang on to, and when he pulled out for a re-lube, it gushed and was poopy. Instant boner killer. I've learned to do better with it since then, lol. Now a different thought for those of us that travel (say to Claw or IML or Folsom): how do we pack our shower wands for flight? We'll be away from home for a few days, probably in a hotel where there IS no such hose. A dilemma for the travelling bottom ho! And some of us don't do well with those bottles and nozzle douche contraptions. The hose does a better job, anyway. Concerns? Solutions? Anyone got a fun story about their travel douching?

Point of view

Damn, season two is really heating up!

Now I do bethink me, I have also met someone from BZ. We talked some last autumn, he came to my place, and I fisted him. An unforgettable experience.

That depends on you, kupo.

Here's one guaranteed to cause further division. How do you feel about smoking only after sex? Blanche Devereaux says this part is optional.

Cigars are hot. Cigarettes not so much.

What are you hoping to experience? If you say what you want to get out of the visit, more people might be interested.

I never liked him. Something about this guy always hocked me off. And he's been endorsed by Michael Lucas, another piece of shit in the industry. What. A. Surprise. 🙄

Then, by this logic, what could happen if the creatures encounter someone who is NOT neg? And he's not part of the tribe, either. Could it reverse the spell? Or create something more terrifying? There's an interesting possibility here.

Oh shit... Now that a feminine element has been introduced to this madness, where will the story go? In what ways will this change? Thanks for the new instalment, PupLucky.

In my 30s, I was on as many sites as possible. Where I lived back then produced this kind of environment and behaviour. EVERYONE ELSE in the city was doing the same thing, and trying to cast wider nets. I started out with Men4SexNow, but once I had my fuckbuddies, I dropped it. Met my (now) ex on A4A, and had a couple interesting dates from others. In recent years, it became a place for Russian bots trying to scam me by getting me invested and suddenly needing money for one crisis or another. I got tired of it. Manhunt yielded nothing, too many drugs and unhealthy behaviours on NKP, and Grindr was laughably bad and full of guys who didn't reply to messages. I've been on Recon for a long time, and it yielded some good results, but nothing that recent. I joined bbrt a few months back at the suggestion of my ex, but I haven't had a single hookup from it. I think being a porn guy has made me picky, but the other part is this: most gay men are pricks. No follow-through, lies of all sorts, a string of bad life choices, and poor sex skills. I stopped trying. I wonder if hookup apps are really the cause of our public spaces closing? Based on two pages of replies, none of them are any good with a few exceptions based on geography. People are preferring to meet in person once again? Hmm.

Boxers. Lets my balls breathe and isn't as restricting as briefs. Didn't care for boxer briefs. But I'll wear a jockstrap at the gym, under the shorts of course, and for the simple reason that a jock doesn't ride up on me. Necessary during legs day. So far, no one questions why I wear it when they see me in the locker room, although one person felt the need to say "This isn't a bathhouse, queer. Put your shorts on."

A studio that wants me for a film in the autumn has said so. And other performers who live with it every day. And they're probably right. I don't need ONE MORE obstacle to being a porn success.