PozBearWI

I have been contacted by someone after I hooked up with them telling me they tested positive for an STI.  I was glad to know, got check by my clinic and took care of it.  

There are no guarantees of safety in our interactions.  Expecting guarantees is foolhardy.  If one is that concerned about catching anything then masturbate on your own.  If you catch anything then you can sue your hand.  🙂

1 hour ago, BootmanLA said:

TBH, though, a lot of the people on here might as well be mute given that they don't want to have any conversation with their sexual partners whatsoever. 

And were I in Chicago at Steamworks at a Cum Union event; I likely wouldn't ask either.  If asked a simple "I test regularly" would probably suffice. 

Good point @frank86

If we can't engage in a civil dialogue then what do we really gain from sex with each other.  

I won't be making it; but delighted to know it's an option.  

1 minute ago, 11bi11guy said:

It’s discrimination to ask if someone is negative for STIs? Wow, what a soft world we live in these days.

Attempts at serosorting has been with us for decades.  One can ask but often people don't know.  They just state or show a card that their last test was neg.  Or they just say "no" and the other one believes them and they go on to have hot sex and not fret it.  If the only thing one does is ask if the other is neg for STI's that is pretty lame if the individual is truly concerned about catching an STI.

Continuing though; each infection cycle results in some of the hosts DNA becoming part of the shedding virus.  The more rapidly they cycle though our species the faster they mutate.  

To the altruistic that point would not be lost.  We benefit our species by our informed behaviors.  

I talked a friend off the ledge yesterday.  He sent me an article showing the monkeypox problem locally with the nearest city at 37.  I replied that indeed that's how many cases occurred but there are no active cases.  With alarm he passed on a graph saying "don't believe it, here are the graphs!".  I view them, noted that the last reported case was on October 8 and no new cases have been reported since.  I indicated where on the graph one could see that.  

I don't think we have a problem of intelligence or ability though.  There is a lot of social noise these days and in a breaking news world, when does one spend time to reflect?  He was finding the information, he was just too distracted and/or alarmed to take time to read what was in the graphs.  

Now what?  I use my fingers to push as much as possible into my mouth and swallow that load. 

I have to agree, playmates and sexmates can be very different.  At least in my personal experience.  

WRT sex first vs friends first; I've experienced both (with men).  I have met manipulative men as well as women; although "the fairer sex" (which to me is an utterly stupid term) seems to dominate in manipulation.  Like you @BootmanLA I have experienced "how does she not know I don't give a damn about her tits or snatch?".  

13 hours ago, twoguyssssss4fun said:

But who would you fuck first, Newsom or DeSantis?

Newsom.  But if the question were based on politics, neither would be my honest reply. 

I don't have genetic studies to back up any fetal development theories.  Certainly that might be the case.  

But I know enough formerly straight only guys that I've come around to thinking all humans are essentially bisexual.  What we actually do about that is influenced by factors after we're born.  Some were conditioned so strongly a straight life is what they pursued and never actually questioned attractions to same sex other than being buddies.  

@BootmanLA that certainly resonates with me.  

Another perspective on the "me, always gay" theme.  When I step through my years from "fourish" on I know I was learning what stuff was.  How I could have been in a position to know then, with certainly, how I would unfold as a human in various dimensions of my life I find foolish to entertain.  At the time I was still discovering.  I was, as my grandpa used to say; a "snot nosed kid".  I didn't take it personally.  Eventually I came to understand what he meant.  But that didn't come completely from schooling.  

While I look back and can now see where young faggot Jim began to show himself; it is because of have the advantage of looking back.  

It might be that too many of us views sexually more like an "A - B" switch vs a rheostat.  I don't think our sexually is that flat and uninspired.  From todays vantage point, I interact with a rather large number of men sexually; the majority having come from a straight life until middle age.  Some of them were on a similar path as me; but each was unique and reflective of who he is.  

Genetic predisposition?  Perhaps.  Environmental for me argues for multiple gay siblings.  

1 hour ago, BootmanLA said:

Several of them should already be impeached for giving misleading testimony (if not actual perjury) during their confirmation hearings. We see how far that's going.

My point is that what we "need" and what we're likely to get, at any given point, are likely to diverge widely. I am now nearing 60, and I do not expect to see a non-conservative-dominated Supreme Court in my remaining lifetime, given the incredibly young ages at which the GOP has been putting their obedient lackeys on the Court.

At 73 most assuredly SCOTUS will be substantially right wing.  (I was going to write "conservative"; which I had always taken in a more fiscal context with the social spectrum within both parties).  Local representative here in a non partisan village government.  I am on a committee which is a consortium with peers in nearby communities.  It is interesting how party simply isn't a driver for us.  All of us actually deliver services to our constituents.  We are also fellow tax payors so how we affect taxes affects us too.

I know in my lifetime we'll never achieve a rewakening of our common purpose with a lessening once again of "Hatfield's vs McCoy's" life we experience today.  

If we ever get to that point, I think one priority needs to be a reflection of how money and technology impact elected people in destructive ways.  

For myself, I am planting trees.  

@JeffPigDadd given the title of the post, what brings you here to read it then?  There are myriad other places on BZ to meet your desires...

17 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

Of course she would benefit from that. But realistically, unless she understands the extent to which her own health is being placed in jeopardy by her husband - and she may not, given that he's withholding some information from her - she's unlikely to see the value of doing so.

LIkely true, which is sad.  But she knows hubby is with men and if she chooses to assume, that is at her own peril.  

Fortunately, HIV is treatable.

3 hours ago, VersGuyAnon said:

I've just looked at a well known charity's website, which advises:

There’s a potential risk if an HIV negative person performs oral sex on someone with a penis who is living with HIV with a detectable viral load.

This risk increases if a man’s infected pre-cum or semen gets into the other person’s mouth.

This might explain his reaction. 

As for precum, I only have to think of a hard cock or a horny scene and I start to leak. Years ago I was about to fuck a friend of mine (bareback, in the "safe" days") and he thought I'd cum, but it was only precum. Needless to say, he seemed very pleased with my load, once he had it inside him.   

 

Potential albeit quite low...

His wife would do well to go on PrEP.  

I suspect if someone where to video my daily routine on TV it might cure insomnia!  🙂

8 minutes ago, evilqueerpig said:

It's his loss.  On a personal note, I'll consume everything a cock produces...including the dreaded smeg

Smeg is dreaded????

8 minutes ago, Ezis59 said:

I’m getting supper horny on idea that I’m cheating. I like the forbidden. Love to just be able to fuck around.
 

I have suggested to open up our marriage but my husband does not want that. I love him, and do not want to leave him. 

Thankfully, we are not in that space.  But Rich and I would not have made it our decades with deception.  Ultimately coming clean that you're going to play with others.  it is up to him to decide what that means for him.  At least, for me, that's what I would do.  

There is nothing wrong with being true to yourself and candid with those you love.  When we get to "this is what I am going to do" it is no longer a negotiation.  It is really a go/no go decision that we hope those who love us accepts.  When they don't, then their assertions they love us fall as flat as their assertions we don't love them.  It is about being true to oneself and sharing ones truth.  

22 minutes ago, Ezis59 said:

New on a page so decided to share a short story about me cheating on my husband. 🙃

 

I decided to get my husband out of town, so bought him tickets so he can visit his best friend abroad for a weekend. 

 

Once the weekend approached, I decided to go full on cheating. In the morning he left for the airport and I sprang into action - installed Grindr on my phone, put some pics together, and started looking who’s around. Couple of hours later he took off and I invited a guy to come by for a quick “fun”. He came by and we went straight to bedroom. 

 

Guy #1: he was tall, aged 38, hairy, vers guy, gay. 

We started kissing, clothes were off in couple of min, we sucked each other and he said, as you have a big tool I want you to fuck me. As usually with my husband I’m the bottom one, I was like ok, and fucked him bare. I fucked him for 10 or so min when he was like, I think I will cum soon, so I started to fuck him like no tomorrow and shot my cum in his hole. He was over the moon as I was. As his luck break was coming to an end soon, he quickly went to wash himself up, and left with my cum in him back to the office. 

 

While he was leaving many messages arrived on Grindr, all horny and ready to fuck. So the weekend has started. 

 

Needless to add , that day I was “working from home”. Sat back at the laptop, joined couple of meetings. husband was landing, and i was looking who will be next. Workday was approaching end, and a guy hit me up and said he is looking for a sucker. As I love to suck dicks, I was like okay, drop by. 

 

Guy#2: bit taller than I am, 40, married. 

 

Again came into my apartment, looked the doors, I told him come and follow me, went to bedroom, where I told him to lay down, he complied. I sucked him hard. He was soo excited that he came so fast in couple of min. He was over the moon. He zipped up his pants and was already leaving. 

 

Work was up, and I still felt horny. It was Friday and I remembered that in town we have cruising bar which has opened couple of month back. Last time I was there, it was empty, but as it’s autumn and cold outside, I was like, okay, let’s hit the place and see what’s going on there. 

 

Prepared myself at home, loobed up my ass, and was on the way to cursing place by 11. Got to one of the last buses to downtown and was at the place around 11.30. 

 

Entered, put my things way in the looker, and started to walk around to see what’s going on. And met a friend who I have previously met on some cruising places outdoors in town before. 

 

Guy #3: not so much taller than me, 24, a bit chubby, top, with good 19cm (7 inch) dick.

 

We went to cabin and as soon as we closed it, his dick was in my mouth, sucked him a bit and he pressed me against wall and he asked again cheating on your husband? I was like: “yeah!”. And held my head against wall and was pushing his dick in my hole. I was tight and he said take it cheater! With him pushing and fucking by bare ass, I was so happy and told him to rape my tight hole. He fucked me hard and came into my hole. I was now ready to take some more dicks. 

 

We went to bar and had a drink, chatted a bit, checked out other guys. Before long, our dinks were empty and he told me to follow him. We went back to cabin where he puts me against the wall again  and uses my hole for dumping his load.  After this he decides to go home. 

 

As 2 loads were already into my ass, I was just getting started. 

 

Walked around, saw some guys sucking each other, and as one guy was looking and stroking his dick, I decided to seduce him, he followed me to cabin. 

 

Guy#4: tall, with beard, was around 30, had ring on his finger, so I assume married also 16 cm (6inches) dick. 

 

He was sort of gentle and he was also quite quick to finish up. I was laying down and he was just fucking me. Before he was getting close he asked if he can cum in me, and I was like - you have to! He came and we went separate ways. 

 

Looked around sucked off 2 guys in glory hole. All cum in mouth. It was starting to get early, and many guys were starting to leave. As it was 4 am it wasn’t surprise to me, but I still wanted some more. 

 

Then came from nowhere, a hot guy appeared. 

Guy#5: bearded, leather jacket, hairy, rock hard 20 (7.8 inch) cm dick, Spanish guy. 

 

We started with kissing in hallway, and he took my hand and asked me to follow. We arrived at public room where anyone could see us. Theme in the room was public bathroom, with cabins. He took me into one, and we started to kiss again. He slapped my face and spat in it. (I have never been in such situation before but I liked). He looked at me, and pushed me down to suck his dick. I sucked and he enjoyed it. After some time he pulls me up, turns me around. He spits on his fingers and puts them in my hole. It’s tight but I try to relax. The spits on his cock, and pushes with one go into my tight hole. I screamed a little, and other guys started to arrive as the wanted to see who is getting fucked. As he shovels his dick in me, he pulls my head closer to his and askes, who am i cheating, and is he here in the club? I said, how do you know I’m cheating? He answers: your ring dummy! (I totally forgot that I had still my ring on, which I prob should have left at home) Well it was too late and I said to him, my husband who is not here, I’m just a cheating whore here for weekend. He said - good! And started to fuck me hard against stalls wall, others were looking and jerking. He fucks me for a while and shows off his furry body. After changing some positions he cums in my hole. Before leaving he says, if you want me more, get one more cumload in you and I will cum in yours again. I was sooo horny that I started to look for some cock. 

 

I really wanted that Spanish guy again but as he said I need more cocks in me first. So I decided to order one more drink, and hunt for some more. Picked up the guy #4 and told him I need those cum. And he complied, we went to open darkroom where he pushed me against wall and fucked me. Others started to kiss me. Action was getting quite some attention, and soon after Spanish guy entered the room. He looked, jerked his cock. Came to me and while guy#4 was still fucking me, he was like - I can see you really like cheating. And guy#4 was cuming in me. Spanish guy took over and pushed his in, others were watching. He fucked me again against dark room wall, filled my hole. Once he pulled out, unknown guy slides in his cock. In my mind I was thinking, okay, now I’m becoming everyone’s slut. Unknown guy#6 was with full thrust fucking my hole, and he soon whispered in my ear - here you go slut some poz load, and I just said fill me up! As soon as I said it, he fills my hole. I was without any air so I left the dark room soon after he came in me. This was intense. Checked again my phone - 5am. Shit, I should soon get going home. 

Spaniard approached me and said give me your number, I want your cheating tight hole also tomorrow. We exchanged user ids in chat app and I decided to call a night. Got to my looker, dressed up and felt that I’m leaking cum. Got home, it was about 6am. And left to sleep. Woke up around 11am and was horny af.

 

Decided to have some food, shower. Started with chat with Spaniard. Hey how are you? He was still not reading so prob still sleeping. Since night in the city I had tons of messages on Grindr. Took me some time to go thru them all. 

 

Rest of the weekend I didn’t meet anyone as after such intense fucking, my hole was really not feeling good. We spent rest of the weened cheating with Spaniard who is living in the same city so agreed to see him again some time. 

 

Sunday came and my husband was back home. He didn’t suspect anything. Now thinking, hmm, if so lucky, maybe I should send him again on weekend outside country. 

It sounds like you had a lot of fun.  I fail to understand your motivation?  I play quite a bit.  My husband is well aware.  We have a video doorbell and he has ability to see results on his phone as do I.  We both find it HAF when the other has a visitor.  If you've promised monogamy, and if you care for your mate, what's the point of subterfuge?  I love you so much I want to pull the wool over your eyes?  

For me you would be a fun friend and were I not married already somewhat husband material.  Save that we would be openly playful.  

18 minutes ago, BootmanLA said:

To be clear: I do indeed strive to be sensitive. I use the phrase "people on the spectrum", for instance, which recognizes there's a difference among people in that category, rather than lumping them all together as "autistic". I also don't want to assume that any condition - autism, diabetes, impaired cardiopulmonary functioning - will always produce the same results in people, because people are different, and how something like this affects individuals is, well, an individual thing. So I appreciate Eros' acknowledgment that I'm trying - and not always succeeding, I'm sure - to be sensitive.

Yes indeed.  I don't think the metric should be "success" in this case.  We're human.  Failure to recognize the effort (whether or not declared) seems to be what is taking dialogue away from solutions these days.  

In WI, there is a lot of focus on use of native american referenaces.  My town, Saukville is an amalgam of "sauk" (NA for river) and "ville" the ubiquitous american town name as evidence in "Smallville" et all.  At the moment there is no hue and cry at our use of that name...

I grew up being referred to by many as "faggot".  Sure it was unpleasant.  But those are simply words.  Absent anything else the word has no power.  When I was being threatened with physical harm by someone calling me "fucking faggot" was way less focused on "faggot" than the threat itself.  

So, I would propose we change "Resdkins" to "Faggots".  I would love to be in a stadium with thousands shouting "Go Faggots!!!!" and "Yeah faggots".  Thousands declaring they want the "faggots" to win the season...  How is that demeaning???

{{and yes I am aware how this changes the topic rather substantially; but my reply is not intended to change the course of the flow, but rather to be an interesting bend in the river of dialogue}}
 

36 minutes ago, BootmanLA said:

I agree that most of this post is not rational.

Part of the problem with it is that while rape is a sexual offense, it's also a crime of violence, and locking up someone's dick doesn't remove the capability to commit violence. That need will just find another means of expression. Thinking of rape in strictly sexual terms, and treating it with strictly sexual-control measures, doesn't do shit. You allude to this, but it's the central point: we should think of rape and similar offenses less in terms of "sex crime" and more in terms of "violent crime".

As for the 64-year old man: I get that this young guy killed himself, but it sounds to me like he had mental issues of his own. A rational, healthy-minded person doesn't die of suicide because he found out someone he thought was close to him was a fraud. And frankly, while 64-man posing as 20's-girl is kind of extreme, people pose as all sorts of things online all day long. Look at this site, where hundreds of guys jack off every day thinking about getting pozzed while not actually doing the first damned thing to actually GET pozzed.

Now, I will agree that deliberately giving someone HIV without his consent ought to be criminalized - at least, conceptually. It's no different than inflicting any other condition or disease on the person. But the problem is that it's very, very difficult to prove "deliberately". Aside from the credibility concerns of "I told him I was poz" vs "No he never said he was", you have credibility questions for the victim - could it have been someone else who gave it to him? Has he had unprotected sex with anyone else? If he says no, how do we know he's telling the truth? Not many guys who are out to stealth-infect others are likely to leave an auditable trail of messages wherein they confess what they're doing.

Separately, though, others have suggested that there are ways for people to protect themselves (ie PrEP). But the problems there are myriad: there's the education issue, where a huge portion of people in this country don't know what PrEP is. Many of those who do assume it's something only gay men need, and for them, only the slutty ones. PrEP needs to become both as non-toxic as a multivitamin and as widely used, so that anyone sexually active in the slightest can get on it.

The good thing about condoms - to the extent that we can say "good thing" about them - is that they were already widely recognized as useful for some purposes in the community at large when they began being promoted for safer sex. PrEP needs to be as ubiquitous as condoms before it can really be considered an adequate way for the average person (as opposed to the well-informed gay or bi man) to protect him/herself against HIV.

Well said.  WRT PrEP being as ubiquitous as condoms; i agree.  It should also be a ubiquitous as Flu Shots.  (injectable PrEP already exists although now available everywhere; WI being one of the "not available" states).  

We are still thinking of HIV in four decade old terms.  The better part of half a century has passed.  The effects of HIV now vs 40 years ago are vastly different.  It is really since then we've come to know HSV and HPV although we don't consider those people "poz" even though arguably they are.  People can vaccinate for HPV now and HSV is pretty controllable.  No one is serving a criminal conviction for those.  HIV belongs in those categories.

One of the things which fucks that up is that we still have massive expenses for treatments.  The beneficial treatments for diseases which came from what we learned about HIV and human immune system are also stupidly expensive.  PrEP is also expensive.  For me here in WI; at least for now; it's about even up cost to prevent or treat.  For me that argues that it makes little sense to start HIV treatment until I have HIV.  Context though gentlemen...  I am of an age where HIV would likely not make much of a difference in my longevity.  

The words that stand out for me in @ErosWired response are "I appreciate your effort to be sensitive".  I didn't understand any of that from your response, nor was it, I believe; your purpose @BootmanLA.  Emotions are factual for the individual experiencing them but they are not "the facts" for the rest of us.  

Beautiful!

2 minutes ago, evilqueerpig said:

Personally, I find it rude for a guy to be on the phone while I'm sucking his cock...I'm focused on his cock so he should be focused on my mouth.

I have sent guys away for that.  Once it was clear his engagement was with his phone there was no point in me sucking.