PozBearWI

So many of our laws still consider HIV in the context of life in the 1980's.  In my opinion it should fall under the same set of rules as HSV and HPV (which in my generation was common).  How we consider HIV should evolve to more like that context.  Individuals who wish to prevent HIV infection have ways to prevent that and still bareback.  

I assert that man of the medical advances and treatments and even cures we're experiencing now is the human benefit resulting from the AIDS crisis.  If as a society we wish to control disease; we need to make it readily available to everyone without price as a barrier.  At the moment there are programs still around whose roots are in the 1980's here in Wisconsin.  Affordability is for now less an issue here.  Of course that could change drastically with a different administration.  

Germaine to this topic; socially I assert we would be better off decriminalizing disease.  For HIV specifically there are methods of controlling that are not dependent on whether someone withheld information or even outright lied.  

6 minutes ago, BootmanLA said:

Just a side note: once you've had chicken pox, you're actually *more* likely to get shingles as an adult, because the virus is in your system (since, as you know, they're caused by the same virus). Something like one in three people who have chicken pox go on to have a shingles outbreak as an adult, even without HIV. If you didn't have chickenpox as a child, that's another vaccine that most adults *should* get (if they didn't get the vaccine earlier). 

That said, HIV does make it more likely that your system will allow an outbreak of shingles than if you were HIV-negative, because (as you note) the immune system is already being pounded on.

@BootmanLA Is HIIV pounding on a medicated HIV poz person?  Or is it so well controlled that further damage to ones immune system is stopped?

9 minutes ago, NWUSHorny said:

 

A gay club or party needs versatile guys to make the action happen.

definitely.  i think that has always been the case

57 minutes ago, BootmanLA said:

NWUSHorny wrote: Interesting, the poll is highlighting a fairly serious imbalance of total tops to total bottoms among the ultra promiscuous. With 38 people responding, 55% have never bred anyone at a sex venue, while only 16% have never had their ass bred. As a fully versatile guy, I've never really been able to understand this skew, but experience tells me it exists.

To which BootmanLA replied: I'd imagine that the imbalance among ultra promiscuous is partly due to the fact that total tops, being fairly rare to start with, can generally afford to be as picky as they want. Instead of going to a sex venue and hoping to find someone super-hot at the party who's not otherwise occupied, they can pick up a partner at almost any event and have their choice among the guys who fit their "type".

Total bottoms, on the other hand, know they're competing against a high number of other total bottoms as well as a lot of "mostly bottoms" and a fair number of "prefer to bottom if possible" men, as well as the "true versatiles". Going to a sex venue where people are just fucking randomly is one way of upping your odds of getting fucked.

Actually trying to respond to both post and BootmanLA reply in one post...  Sadly my attempt to multiquote didn't seem to work...  So copy and paste to the rescue.

The poll is still active so it is too soon to draw conclusions.  But as I write this the ratio of total bottoms was only 52.94%.  That leaves 47.06% in the top or willing to top category.  Whenever the poll closes we'll see how the number fare....

1 hour ago, BootmanLA said:

Why? Because bottoms sexualize medical rectal exams? Because bottoms all want big things in their hole?

Can we please have a discussion about health care without the peanut gallery making sex jokes about it, especially given that prostate cancer is so often overlooked *precisely* because so many men are uncomfortable with the thought of a finger in their anus examining them? Making jokes about it being pleasurable for bottoms just feeds that stigma.

I suspect the sexualizing of prostate exams is done more by tops and 'phobes.  If bottoms do it shouldn't matter as they already know how to make rectal entry comfortable.  

Returning to the main topic; fingers are comparatively small.  Even 'big sausage fingers".  The difference is trivial in what you'll feel getting your prostate checked.  And being a  top or bottom is irrelevant.  Prostate exam is not a sexual act.   It is the physician gaining useful data by touch; which is still an important part of a physical exam.  Socially we might have forgotten that doctors use touch, smell, sound, visual queues in their exam.  Not every thing is known by blood work, imaging and biopsies.  

As far as discomfort.  The total top and/or homophobic guy who does sexualize prostate exams risk holding a lot of tension; which in turn can make your exam much more uncomfortable.  It is better to focus on relaxing, trusting that your doc is gaining helpful data for your benefit.  Fretting the size of the probe won't help you.  

So picking up on @BootmanLA; my opinion is that if you can get vaccinated for MonkeyPox go ahead and do it.  Just good preventive care...  But if your hoops are major; like having to drive three hours each way which happens here in Wisconsin; I would make an effort to fit it into something else.  I know a friend of mine who lives in a low transmission area came to an event this past weekend I hosted; and then stayed around to get vaccinated Monday before he went back home.  

Overall, as we just experienced globally a viral event; and the response was largely isolation (which helped); we seem to be observing more evolutions of virus.  Some of this is just population mixing as humans in some parts of the world have been displaced.  Viruses which might have been common and somewhat controlled by herd immunity might be new when that population migrates.  

My opinion is that keeping current on the vaccinations we can may result in fewer surprises.  As a point, we're seeing a spike in illness amongst young people with multiple viruses at once.  We should not be surprised if we see similar "pile on" effects in our near futures.  

3 minutes ago, BootmanLA said:

I agree, and I've actually thought about some changes like this that would make sense, but it's getting them done - and that's not a knock on the moderators. It's not something I'd want to take on, time-wise, and can't imagine most people here would, either.

Yes.  Perhaps simpler would be to close off topics that have been running a year and let them restart as they will.

45 minutes ago, BootmanLA said:

The only way to do that is to report the topic and suggest where it might better belong. If the moderator(s) agree, they have the tools to move it.

Unfortunately, this entire folder ("Making the Decision to Bareback") is pretty much a non-health area now. There was a time, before PrEP, when discussing the reasons to bareback or not meant it was inherently a health discussion, because there was no way to bareback and still remain relatively protected. So in that sense, this group of topics once was a health issue.

Now it's not, and as is evidenced by the tenor of recent topics - "I Bareback ONLY, No regrets ever", "What turned you into a bare pig?", "Bottom should accept poz loads?", for examples - this section is quickly becoming another "Look at meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee how trashy can i beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?" part of the forum.

And that's fine - but those aren't health discussions.

Unfortunately, the moderators have their hands full with other things, but what the entire "Health" section needs is a major pruning - moving large numbers of threads to other areas, locking certain topics, and then more aggressive day-to-day management of making sure posts here have to do with health issues. That said, while I can diagnose the problem, I can't fix it.

Thanks and I agree.  I presume to messaged a mod who might consider relocating?  As I was describing, topics sometimes; perhaps even commonly veer off the original post.  And in many cases especially when it is an old thread; guys jump in perhaps years into it and rarely go back to the opening and start reading the whole thread from the beginning.  I could favor an automated feature where at 12 months they all go into a backroom vault. 

No matter the topic, keeping it current would make sense.  For example, "What's it like to be poz?" thread is several years old.  Yes so much has changed from the start of that thread to now.  Maybe it would be best split up...

For me giving or getting our jizz is sort of the point.  Yes getting there may not feel so different, but when I head knows that no cum will get into me; that just messes with my head.  

Thanks rawTOP

1 hour ago, Somethingwitty3 said:

I've topped my uncle.

Nephew!!!  Come visit your uncle Jim in Wisconsin... 🙂

39 minutes ago, Darcicrisis said:

To be honest this post had been started so many years ago that I had not even considered what topic it was originally posted in and was just caught up in giving the outcome of what had been brought up earlier. If I knew how I could have moved it or just erased it all together I would have.

As I said earlier at the risk of offending or breaking any rules I will just go back to my usual comfort zone and just not post anything more in the future.

Clearly you're feeling some frustration @Darcicrisis.  And indeed as threads often seem to morph the "most appropriate category may as well.  

As @BootmanLA initially pointed out; this whole thread perhaps should be moved from the originally correct category, to a different spot because it clearly morphed.  You @Darcicrisis aren't at fault here.  I am unaware of a flag I could set that might alert moderators when any of us observes a thread has veered in a different direction.  If there is @BootmanLA I imagine you would know.   How can we bring morphed posts to moderator attention?

Echoing @versmetropig.  My relationship is in its 23rd year.  We have been sexually open after the first couple of months.  Between us our sex life is largely affection more than getting off.  

More than getting off though; is sharing a life with another human.  We've become a family.  Aging has introduced challenges to each of us.  

2 hours ago, tighthole64 said:

Love the way you sometimes say it!  Sure it's hot hearing a top saying things like you want my poz load, or something similar.  

Do you say that before you nut in them or after?  To me, would think better after unloading in them.  Would also be nice to exchange a deep kiss after saying that 

Not very demanding here.  But it is HAF when a guy tells me stuff while he is unloading in me.  Esp when he says stuff like "enjoy this poz load, i hope it takes".  

15 minutes ago, Kayne said:

I echo the sentiment ts already stated. Condoms and pulling out for the "money shot" being two annoyances that turn me off. But the thing I hate most is no story, or plot. Call me crazy, but I like itvwhen Astor leads to sex. I need some good writing, dialog and acting.. but that's me. am I crazy for that?

I may not be the proper judge of whether or not you're crazy for that Kayne.  But I agree, the better writing and dialogue the more interesting.  And it frustrates me when they pull out for the "money shot" too.  The cameraman could just zoom in on the tops taint pulsing which would excite me more.  

I never like condoms so avoid porn with condoms.  

On 9/16/2022 at 9:41 AM, rawTOP said:

The primary reason reactions are limited and grow as your membership level goes up is so newbies don't distort what's good/bad. If it were unlimited reactions for everyone then a person's status wouldn't mean much because a one or two people could just upvote everything they've ever posted and give the poster a high status.

Ultimately this is a community and how important you are to the community depends on how much you've contributed to the community. So people who've contributed a lot get to be the primary arbiters of what's good and bad on the site.

And when one runs out of "reactions" then just post a reply post.  That is sort of the point anyway.  

1 hour ago, bbpoznow said:

why would you want him to pull out the virus is there even with the precum

People do strange things.  I think it is the nature of our species.  I agree though, his precum is also viral and so the notion that pulling out takes away the risk is false.  Besides, I just hate the idea of ruining what is hopefully a pleasurable fuck.  For my own self almost always, if a guy is putting his cock into me I am intending he unload in me.  It is a disappointment to me when he doesn't.  

Still, no matter; if at any point the top or bottom says "I'm done" (tap out as it were) we should comply.  It might very well spell the end of any future encounters.  But a tap out (as it were) needs to be respected.  One can discuss the reasons and consequences after.  Fucking or getting fucked is not a contract.  No one is "obligated to finish".   But the one agreeing to "A" and getting "B" is equally allowed to disengage from the other party; perhaps permanently.  While there is plenty of dom play to imply ownership, it is in fact something not legally allowed (at least here in the US).  

If someone is told in advance that a tap out is not going to be respected (told using actual spoken words, with check for understanding); the bottom truly made an explicit agreement.  They might say something; but I can understand the top thinking "you specifically agreed that I was breeding you even if you protested" is in rather a pickle.  Which agreement is he to follow?  The bottom would have to be abundantly clear that they know they agreed to it but no longer are agreeing to that.  

18 hours ago, Kayne said:

Thanks Jim. in the end I think we are all just finding our way. we can only do our best. Certain things may shape us. it doesn't follow that we allow them to define us. 

There are a few who stay stuck in the weeds of early life.  I've met them, sure you have as well.  I think life, no matter the circumstances is always finding ones way.  

I don't know if there is some sort of official abuse scale.  But it seems clear you were significantly abused @Kayne.  I have spoken with others who carried on a sexual relationship with their dad (only) from a young age  (not as young as you); who seem to have appreciated that experience and grown from it.  But then that wasn't the sort of systematic abuse you endured.  

Thanks for your post.  It sounds like you are finding your way out of that rocky start.  

Jim

If he won't fuck me raw than I ask him to let me suck him off.  If the cum ins't going in me we can just jack off together.  

2 hours ago, Kayne said:

Those are better left on private. I don't want to vilate any of the rules here.

As long as you post in the backroom you should be fine.  But messaging me them could work too and violates nothing.

@BootmanLA As always, well said.  I imagine there were alliances, "brothers" or "cousins" living together who when alone with each other might very well have enjoyed anal quite a bit.  

Pre 1970 I am ignorant of bookstores.  So they might have always been when I started then.  Certainly video had to be simple so super8 might have been the first porn video booth place.  And I have no clue if they were women only, men only or mixed in the 50's, 60's and 70's. 

@Kayne I'll be looking for those stories

2 hours ago, hntnhole said:

Maybe I'm wrong ..... maybe it's all true ...... has the Second Coming already happened ??????    

I don't know.  You snagged part of @Kayne quote as if it were mine.  I think he just has a family situation that makes in person connections (and it sounds like even private bate) impossible.  

On 10/6/2022 at 12:25 AM, Kayne said:

I Have been perpetually horny for as far back as I can remember. However, over the lastv10/ 12 years or so, I have been a fulltime Caregiver.  I do so in a 1 br apt and I'm  mostly unable to get out and breed. or be bred. and I am never alone to please myself. 

 

the last time I came inside another man was Feburary 2020. it was the last time I has any sex. 

It would be a pleasure to be the next man you do that with...  Jim