rape fantasies

[Toon]

I apologize if this is the wrong forum to post this in -- I read all the rules and and couldn't find a better place. Please ignore this if the topic offends you or is personally traumatic/ I just need to ask: IS there something wrong with me if I have rape fantasies? If I want to be raped?

A little background:

1. I started having sexual thoughts from the time I was 3 or 4. Is that normal?

2. I started seeing a shrink in my teens who seemed convinced I'd been molested at an early age. There's no way. I'd have remembered something like that, I'm absolutely sure. Both of my parents worked and I had tons of babysitters. but they were mostly women and teenage girls -- and I've always been attracted to MEN.

3. I sometimes shared my fantasies with boyfriends and it was usually a big ol' turn-off for them. One guy (who was a giant leather top) told me I was not nearly ready for an actual rape. Other guys were too polite or kind to ever indulge me. Even the toughest, meanest motherfuckers I found at the bars were not interested.

Okay. So that's my story. Any input would be helpful.

Thanks.

 

[subbytch]

Wrong? No. It's pretty healthy to have fantasies. It's also pretty healthy to have kinky sex, at least according to the latest research. Most of us have fantasies about being raped, forced into having sex, gang banged, or gang raped. That's pretty normal, too.

"Rape" implies there's no consent. I'm not sure people who fantasize about rape want no consent, or just want to give up consent for a while to other guys, then take it back later, after the sex is over. As rough as they like it, it's still not the same thing as being beaten, stabbed, or otherwise violated by a rapist -- which is how far too many rapes go.

There's a lot of good, hard, rough sex you can have out there. You can find partners. You can figure out safety. Or not. I don't worry about people who arrange or desire some pretty hard and overpowering fucking. I only get concerned when people not only express a wish to be pretty severely hurt during a rape, but actually seek out people willing to do that to them.

[Mamabicho]

You're certainly not alone with fantasies about "rape" and other things that are taboo or risky.  For me, there are things that I know I'll never do that are the biggest turn-on's when it comes to horny fantasies I whack off to...  As a friend of mine used to say, it's like the locker room gangbang fantasy.  It sounds better for most of us than it probably would be in real life.  I know the thought of it is a turn-on for me, and has been a fantasy I've had since a young age, but I don't know if I'd really want to get fucked by 10-15 guys in a row in real life.  But who knows     Well I do know, I've had 4 guys before and it was fun, but I don't think I could have handled more than that - and that was even with a fair amount of alcohol to "lubricate" me mentally and physically.  But there are still times when I'm reading porn or watching it that I think how great taking on that whole locker room would be...  It's possible that this is similar to you, it's something that's a part of your fantasy life but since it's not likely to happen it's 

And as another fellow discussed above, it's probably not really "rape" in the most technical and criminal sense that you're fantasizing about.  If you want it, it's not really rape - at least in the way society seems to define the term rape these days.  Rough sex, bondage, even physically being pushed to your limits may be "rapelike" but fundamentally not rape since you want it to happen, and unless there's a lot of pain or something else dramatic you would probably want it the millisecond it started.  

But you’re definitely not alone, so I wouldn’t worry too much about it.  The idea of nonconsensual sex is common in gay porn and discussions.  If you doubt it, just search for gay pics, movies and stories regarding prison sex and home burglars and alleyway hookups that go “wrong.”

[Guest bayareadl]

I was raped by a family friend the first time I had gay sex.  At the time it scared and scarred me but within weeks I started to have less hate and more curiosity about the situation I had experienced..  About 6 weeks after the rape, I confronted my rapist and actually asked him to fuck me again. He did and we fucked hundreds of times from that point on.  

Still, even after having been raped before, I find myself fantasizing about being raped again.

[Guest]

Liked the last poster, I was raped as a kid.  More than once, by the same person.  At the time, it certainly was not my decision.  Not sure if those experiences are the genesis of my interest in it now.  As someone said, rape implies there is not consent.  Anything I have done as an adult has been with my consent, but I will say I have been pushed and gotten into some really rough fucks that help fulfill my adult rape fantasies.  Enough that I really did want to stop at times.

[tallslenderguy]

The generation and culture i grew up in automatically considered rape or molestation a likely factor if one is gay.  I.e., their assumption is/was that gay people are made by various factors, molestation when young being one of them.  That idea, among others that gay people are made out of trauma vs born/natural, really fucked with my ability to come to a place of self acceptance. i got there, but it was a long process. 

i used to fantasize about being kidnapped and forced to be a sex slave. That fantasy was more about my getting past my own lack of self acceptance than anything else.  i had such cognitive dissonance the that i wanted the decision to be taken from me and to just have what i wanted (a man who wanted to fuck me) without having to choose.  That's the closest i've ever come to rape fantasy.  To me, the "violent" aspect in a lot of fantasy speaks to the extremity of the fantasizer's need/desire for acceptance, but i tend to associate that need with ones lack of self acceptance and the only way they can experience affirmation is in extremis.  No scientific evidence to back that up, just my own observations and thoughts.

When i think of being raped now, it doesn't appeal. i suspect if someone attempted to take me violently and by surprise now, they'd end up dead (i have a second degree black belt lol).  On the other hand, i have long time fantasies of being taken spontaneously... which i think is an element a lot of bottoms desire/need?  i've had a long time fantasy of being asleep with a guy and waking up to Him sliding in or pushing the tip of His cock against my lips.  But to me, that speaks more to deep connection than to a violation of consent.  I.e., there is such a connection between me and that person that He knows i'm His for the taking.  To me, that's very different from rape.

The other half to this equation that seems to be rarely considered or discussed is the guy doing the "raping."  What is it he really wants or needs?  Psycologically, a rapist is not a powerful person at all, but a weak person preying on someone weaker in order to get a sense of power and control.  If he had someone in his life who wanted his dominance and control, would he still have the need/desire to rape?  i see a lot of guys in the D/s community who identify as "dom" who really strike me as needing a sub in order to establish their own sense of self.  Which is not a condemnation on my part, i personally think we all need relationship to be healthy (not "a" relationship, but interaction with others where we can mirror each other and help each other in the process of self discovery). 

i feel rape is a fuzzy or incomplete expression of what is really needed or desired, which is acceptance, on either side of the equation. 

[Cumdumpbitch]

I was raped last year and LOVED it. I posted the story on the forum. 

[Guygonebad]

If rape is about violence and real loss of control, I’ve experienced that once in my journey as a total cum dump bottom. This instance taught me what I really am and what it REALLY MEANS TO GIVE UP CONTROL.  As a cum Dump, I know my place is to serve my tops, but when I used to host my own gang bangs, I was in control, yes the tops came and went, but I was controlling it. That all changed for me that night in Mexico City. So I understand what it really means to give up control.

I was hosting my gang bang a small boutique hotel Mexico City 2 years ago where I got 30 loads over the course of the evening (my personal best). At one part of the late evening my gang band turned into an uncontrolled rape. Now I get that I was hosting a gang bang and letting all cocks to fuck/breed me, but I was in control until that moment. This event changed me and how I respect and serve top men.

I started my gang bang about 7 P.M., I had my party invite out on bbrt, Craigslist, and a4a. I also gave a small bribe to the front desk clerk and the security guard at the door who stops everyone entering and asks for their room key. My tops came in and just said to him my room number and they were allowed in (in case anyone else wants to host in Mexico City). The front desk guy was gay (closeted) and he was on at 7 pm by himself and helped me plan it and bred me himself at end of his shift.

So I was naked, room fairly dark, ass up on my bed, door unlocked.  I sent out directions for entering the hotel and my room number to all who requested it and waited to have fun. As the first guys arrived, fucked, bred me, and left, I was in my heaven with hot latin men, mostly young.  At about 10 pm there were 4 or 5 guys in my room taking turns breeding my ass, I was loving it! Then a few more guys showed up, pulling out their cocks, pulling on their cocks to get hard.  I was laying cross ways across the bed, so tops could get up on the bed and fuck my ass and my head was hanging off the other side of the bed so tops could stand and I could suck their cocks. I was having fun.

At this time I thought I counted 8 to 10 guys in the room.  It was getting a little ruff. I was saying several times, to be careful, my hole was getting really sore, but I wanted it so bad and was loving it and I thought I was still in control. Even though my Spanish is only so good. Then a young, very muscular latin guy moved behind me to take his turn on my ass. He put his hands on my back and just forced his big cock into me.  It went in easy as my hole was sloppy and wet with cum, but he kept pounding me, pulling all the way out and shoving it all the way back into me. It hurt as he missed my hole several times and slammed the edge of my hole, then pounded back into me. He was talking loudly in Spanish, most of which I did not understand, though I caught phrases for “nasty, fag, and dirty whore.” After several slams hurting me and he’s not stopping, I said, “enough” and rolled over causing his big cock to slide out of my sloppy hole. I’m turning to him and telling him in Spanish to “stop.” 

Its then that everything happened so fast. He yelled at me and roughly pushed me back on my stomach. Now I’m a tall, reasonably strong guy and I thought “ok” I’m done, this is out of hand, but before I could do anything, he had me on my stomach holding me down, then two naked guys got on top of me on my back holding me down, other guys were holding my thighs down, and guys holding my arms. One guy had both his hands on my neck holding me on the bed. There was lots of conversations going on that I could not understand other than a few, “stop him” “hold him.” They pulled me to the center of the bed. Then someone took the cloth ties from the two bathrobes in the closet and tied off my wrists to the bed headboard. Someone stuck a sock in my mouth.

For the first time in my life I was immobilized, I fought, struggled, they had me pinned down. In English someone told me to stop moving. I refused and kept squirming, struggling to get loose. I was scared. Then the big muscular latin guy was standing at the side of the bed, my face turned towards him, his big thick uncut cock hanging kind of flaccid, grabbed my hair, pulled my head up and said in reasonable calm English, “calm down, u wanted this and we’re going to give it to u.” I kept struggling and it happened so quickly, his hand came down and struck me on the side of my head, somewhat hard, I was shocked and still struggled and again his hand struck me. Only this time it was so hard my teeth rattled and it hurt bad, my body just went limp.  I couldn’t see or talk, but I heard him say, “...want more?” None of the others guys were talking, just holding me down, my body limp. A small shorter latin guy at my head, with his cock hanging out of his jeans, leaned over, in English, quietly says, “...just relax, get it over with, u will be ok.” The big muscular guy who hit me, mounted me again and began roughly fucking me again. It went on for a while. When he was done he took charge of the room. He was telling the other guys holding me who would go next. They would move and change positions until all of them finished breeding me. Then they let go of me as they dressed to leave. I just laid there. I didn’t want to look at them. I was learning how true Bottom cum dumps give up control. 

As they were walking out one by one, the big young muscular guy who struck me, sat on the bed by my head and patted my head and said, “...did you get what you wanted boy? Did I give you the gang bang you wanted? Ok, don’t say anything. I hope you learned your lesson tonight to take my cock when I give it to you.” He slapped my face again and left. 

The shorter young guy stayed last, he was nice and asked me how I was and was I was Ok. He was naked now as he had also mounted and bred me. He untied me, helped me off the bed as I was so stiff. He kept asking if I was ok. I was not saying anything. When I finally responded to him, my voice was quiet, calm. “I’m ok, sir.” I’m not sure where the “sir” came from? He was small, short, and young, but I knew my place, he was a “sir” no matter how small or nice. He was a top that I gave my respect.

[hexfet]

Have gotten to enact one rape fantasy that ended up being really hot.  It was discussed heavily before and so he knew that I loved it rough - and am pretty big and crazy hard(and straight as an arrow) so if I mount you and plow into you hard, I'm gonna re-arrange your insides.  That's just how it goes.  He was really turned on by the idea of me taking him as hard and selfishly as I wanted.  Knowing it would hurt at times.  I figured he'd probably warm himself up on something ahead of time so it seemed pretty reasonable.

The deal was - no safeword, but if he came in - he had plenty of opportunity to decide he wasn't ready - and he could walk away.  But once my cock was in him - he was mine for as long as I wanted and however I wanted.  And it would be 1:1 only.  (oh god it would have been hot to hand him over to another hung top, but that was out of the picture - whatever I wanted - but just me)

So the little scene unfolded - by and by I had him on the bed - face down, his underwear in his mouth, hands pinned to his back.  He fought back some but clearly gave up without too much of a fight so that was consent as agreed. 

I had prelubed my cock pretty good ahead of time since I figured it would take from the fantasy to get the lube bottle and so spit a bit on his hole ... and put my head up against his pucker to slick it up and see how tight he was.  Holy crap - he didn't pre-fuck himself at all - with a little push of my head in you could feel how tight he was.  Oh man this is definitely gonna be a ride for him.   One last time I pushed about 1/3 of my head in that outter ring and I heard him grunt pretty hard - making sure he knows what he's in for - one last time to make a wild thrash to escape.  But no...

So pulled out ... and lined up my cock with his hole perfectly.  Moved one hand to the back of his head to push his head, still with his underwear in his mouth, firmly into the pillow while the other hand kept his wrists against his back.  Then reared back a little and in one savage thrust - drove into him  nearly full bore - plowing thru his two outer rings, one of which I lightly warmed up - and against his deep 3rd ring way back in there.  I felt a little bad about his reaction but at the same time, have to admit that the absolute pain of tearing thru his outer rings - was making my cock throb something fierce.   I think his hole was throbbing too in response to the sudden intrusion. 

I stopped - and outside the aforementioned throbbing, kept very still and let him adjust.  You could see waves of intensity wash over him over that next minute - the intensity of the sudden intrusion wearing off shockingly quickly but clearly there was some residual pain or perhaps pleasure starting now.   Of  course every time I'd throb my cock without otherwise moving he'd make some really lovely hot noises which of course made me wanna throb more.

As soon as I started to pull my steely hard cock back out of his hole from that first thrust ... he's writhing and making all kinds of noise - couldn't have been much enjoyment there I figure. I pull totally out of him and inspect his hole ... definitely much looser looking and one could say very tender now.   Nice red color.  I spit on his hole - and mount him again ... nearly balls deep like before - saving plundering that deep ring for a little later.  He's doing better now - still not purely pleasurable but clearly there is a bit more of it now on this second thrust - only now I start up a good rhythm on his hole.  Each thrust getting better and better for him - the intensity of pain now being replaced by a sheer  intensity of pleasure I've not seen in a long time.   It was so hot to see - and at the same time I so wanted to wreck his deep ring and plunge him back into the world of pain.  But I resisted a bit - couldn't believe how much he was moaning in delight.

Around this time I looked down at my cock and noticed a faint streak of blood on my cock from each thrust ... clearly I had definitely wrecked him good.  Made me harder thinking about that!

Kept fucking him for awhile ... slowly the pleasure toned down a bit as the endorphans wore off I suppose - and I kept up my pace on his hole.  Now he was good and loose - and I was loving feeling his deep ring push back on my head at each thrust.  Feeling that lovely fleshy bit grip my cock each time and push back against my rock hard cock pistoning inside. 

Soon I couldn't take it anymore - I had to finally take him balls deep and own him.

I'm not sure he realized I was holding back this whole time.  Until that moment when I finally stopped - and my head powered thru that deep ring as if it didn't present any resistance at all.   But it clearly did since man did he  jump out of his skin.   This time, I didn't slow down... now each thrust was balls deep - and nearly all the way out - and each time he had to endure my head drilling into his inner sanctum - hard - closing back up - and then being drilled open once again.

I don't really think he ever got to enjoy that much - but man my cock was LOVING that something fierce.  The feeling was so intense - and hearing him struggle each time definitely pushed me over the top and I couldn't help it - I :HAD: to own him - after a couple minutes of that- the instinct to breed took over.  Grabbed his hips and slammed him deep and exploded ... I know he felt each throb since he made a sexy grunting noise on each shot of jizz in his hole, my body fully drilled down on top of his - with my member deeply impaled in his hole - crazy rock hard - throbbing like mad and loading him up with my cum!

As is my tradition - I stayed deep inside - grinding totally inside his deep ring as I rolled over on our sides and started stroking his totally hard cock.   Not surprisingly he came in no time at all.   At this point, I took his underwear out of his mouth - and gave him a proper kiss and the scene was over. 

After cleaning up a bit he admitted that was a good bit more than he was expecting - I was harder / rougher than he really thought I would actually be - and well ended up not quite being as hot as he was expecting - since the pain part was more intense than I think he was really prepared for.   But knew he agreed to it and was willing to make it happen.   And had to admit really loving the middle bit a lot -  making it worthwhile all in all!

I got a text a week later, thanking me for an amazing time and that he had jerked off countless times, thinking about me raping his ass.

[ErosWired]

Since we’re on the subject, I can tell you that violation does not necessarily equal penetration, and that a man can rape another man without ever fucking him.

Admittedly, my situation is uncommon - I have yet to meet another man who has been trained to orgasm on command the way I have (hint: It’s nowhere near as fun as it sounds). But one night at camp I made the mistake of telling the wrong person about my training.

We were in the back of a shed where a sling and a fucking bench were kept, sitting in a couple of chairs, talking in the early morning hours. He had his shirt off and his pants unzipped and was idly stroking himself. Shortly after I told him about my Master training me to cum on command, he suddenly said, “Cum.”

I felt the climax rush through me, and he was evidently pleased with the result, so he said again, “Cum.”

I was naked except for my collar and cuffs, so he could see every part of my body, including my face, react to his commands in the dim light. “Cum,” he said again, and sort of leaned forward, watching closely. I saw a new kind of gleam in his eyes, like a man who has just discovered he has power.

”Cum.  Cum.  Cum.  Cum.  Cum.  Cum.”

Try to imagine having an orgasm without shooting, with all the effects it has on your body. Now, imagine doing it twice in a row, one immediately after the other. Now, imagine the next orgasm starting before the previous one has a chance to wind down.

”Cum.  Cum.  CumCumCum.”

By this point I could see his teeth gleaming in the dim light because he was grinning from ear to ear.

I, however, was gasping for breath with sweat starting to trickle down my body in the hot summer night, the muscles in my abdomen were starting to hurt from clenching up, and it was becoming hard to stay upright in my chair.

”Stop,” I managed to say, but he ignored me completely.

”Cum!  Cum! CumCumCum! CUM!”

”Please, stop! It hurts!”

”CUM! CUM! CUMCUMCUM!

I slid onto the dirt floor of the shed, now in pain - what he was doing to me had reached the point of torture. When I looked up at him, I saw him beating his stone-solid cock rapidly in his fist. I remember how very dark red it looked, almost purple. The sight of it made me feel sick.

I gathered up what strength I still had in me, got up on my hands and knees in the dirt, and shouted, loud enough that anyone lingering around the pool at that hour could have heard, “STOP IT! YOU’RE HURTING ME!  BACK OFF!”

He seemed startled, then glanced around him, then abruptly got up and hustled out of the shed, leaving me broken and heaving on the ground.

I have no idea how many orgasms he forced me to have - well over 20 - I just know that I felt violated in a way I had never felt under my Master. I don’t know how long I stayed there, I just remember wishing that someone, anyone, else would have come in at that point to make me feel safe. No one did. I eventually scraped myself back together enough to cautiously work my way out of the shed and back to my cabin, where I locked myself in for the night.

 I realized immediately that there was no point in reporting the incident to the camp managers - for one thing, who was going to believe some wild story about a guy being able to cum on command, and even if they did, who was going to believe he didn’t ask for what happened, or that he didn’t enjoy it when he got it? For another thing, the guy who did it to me was a member of the camp staff, and who was going to take my outlandish word over his?

I have seldom related this event to anyone, mostly because I think most guys will not see what happened as I do - a rape. The idea that he could have raped me without ever touching me is just too much for some, or most, to accept. I understand that.

But I did not want him to do what he did, and I first asked, then begged, then demanded that he stop. What he did both hurt me physically and frightened me at the way he was willing to exploit my weakness for his personal pleasure. He discovered a way to take an intensely personal, excruciatingly sensitive, and intimately sexual part of me and to violate it ruthlessly without my consent. If that doesn’t meet the criteria for rape, I don’t know how to define it.

Yes, I still cum on command, and yes, anybody can make me do it. Fortunately, most guys lose interest in the novelty of it after trying it on me once or twice (most people, mercifully, are not sadists). I hope I never meet another one like that guy. But I’ll say this - if I ever have to be raped again, I hope the guy just uses his cock on my hole. I think I could stand that kind of violation much easier.

[bttm4uncut]

I lucked out and found a great "rapist" during the CL days. He was about a 2hr drive and was looking to explore this idea. Over the course of the last few years we have done over a dozen rape plays. Our first time we chose a simple unlocked door, sleeping victim. I drove down and got a cheap room. Cracked the door and had  few drinks and then txt him the room number. He told me to wash up, drink, and go to bed. I had worked a 10hr shift that day so I passed out pretty quick with the tv on. I don't know how long it was but I felt him get on the bed. I started to get up, and that when he pulled my shirt over my face and pushed onto the bed. Before I was even awake he had flex cuffs on my wrists and pinned me down. Next he forced my legs apart, ripped down my boxers and lined up his cock to my hole. I started to fight so it was a little high when he shoved it in. I yelped and tried to wiggle away. The pain was way more than I thought. He thrust about 8-10 times and blew his load. As soon as he was done he pulled out, cut one wrist free and was out the door before I knew it. I laid there in pain for a good 10min trying to figure out what happened, why I did it, and why I was so turned on. The next morning I inspected the aftermath in the mirror. Some blood and cum but no real damage. I was shocked to find the cum because he wanted to use a rubber. I found out way later that he had put one on but it broke because we didnt use lube.

 

2 days later I get an email full of questions as to how I felt afterwards. I was shocked at how much the rape shocked me. I was anally sore for a solid week, but I loved it. I hated the rape while it was in progress but I loved it after. Its gotten eaiser, but more brutal since

[LetsPOZBreed]

This is  hard thing to address for me.  I've played out a fantasy once, but I'm also an actual rape victim.  i can tell you that these are two starkly different experiences.

If I want to play out a fantasy, i make sure it's with a guy I'm sexually comfortable with.  There's always a safe word, and either one of us can stop if things get a bit too crazy or uncomfortable.  The difference between the fantasy vs. the real thing is consent.  In role playing, you want to simulate the actual act as close as possible, so lots of emotions are going to run through your head in the moment; you have to be sure you're ready for that.  When playing out a fantasy, it'll stay with you for a bit, and you'll recall it in your mind in a positive light (no matter how much it may have "hurt" in the moment.

[Guest FinalDL2021]

I have this fantasy about a guy spiking my drink with a drug that, puts me in a suggestive/hypnotic state,  yet does not knock me out. where he can do whatever he wants with me.

[Guest]

I was raped when I was very young. Now I am having nightly fantasies about being gang raped and left for dead, with cum all over my body!

 

 

[ErosWired]

I have given a lot of thought to this question over the last couple of weeks, especially as I do “door open” hotel hosting. I’ve never had any trouble, but I’m always aware of the potential, however slight.

 I keep wondering what I would actually do if confronted by a real, determined rapist. I am not defenseless, but if I were somehow overpowered I think I would probably simply submit as usual, as though it were a regular fuck.

After all, what would be the point of all the rapey-ness? He could fuck me anyway; that’s what I’m there for.

Of course, if he threatened to kill me with knife/gun/strangulation that might be a different matter - I wouldn’t be at my best performance during the fuck for fear of actually getting offed afterward, and from the distraction of pulling out my “insurance” from its handy hiding place.

I guess it would depend on his intent and his method, but I can’t deny that nonconsent has had a place at the core of my arousal from the beginnings of my sexual awakening...