Is it wrong for a bottom to use his top's dick for their own pleasure?

[BlindRawFucker1]

I'm pleasantly surprised by most of the responses on this topic.

 

A lot of times on BZ, the attitude is expressed that a bottom is only a hole for the top's pleasure.

 

The selfish person is the top who does have the feeling that any hole is his for only his pleasure.

 

When I top, I want the bottom to enjoy receiving pleasure from me.  When I bottom, I expect him to respect me and attempt to give me as much pleasure as he is receiving from my hole.

 

the psychological pleasure knowing that your partner is having as much fun, is for me, as stimulating as the physical pleasure I receive from him.

 

In short, "NO!" it is not selfish to want and expect pleasure from your top.

 

My 2 cents, for what it is worth.

[coastalbender]

Every time I bottom, I am using his dick for my pleasure. The harder he cums, the more turned on I am. The more he enjoys the fuck, the more turned on I am, so it's entirely selfish for me.

[find91]

  On 6/11/2019 at 7:33 AM, NLbear said:

I am a bottom but I am not a sub. I am not submissive in real life and I am not in the bedroom. The Dutch are known for being direct and speak their mind. There is a reason we are called blunt by other nations. That doesn't mean I take control. I am happy to let the top take control. But I will let him (or them) know loud and clear if he does something I don't like. And vice versa so does the top. 

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That is my point. You can't just treat all bottoms or tops the same. Just like you pointed out not everyone is into Dom/sub play. But don't get me wrong there's a big difference being direct and another trying to control your partner. You can be direct and tell a top if something isn't working or if you want more of something and not come across bossy or demanding. Good sex always needs communication. But using a tops dick to get off is someone trying to exert control. This is not shared pleasure, where the bottom is trying to make his top feel good and the top is doing the same. There is a clear power exchange.

[upptheebutt69]

Use my dick all you want...in the end I still get to enjoy a nice warm hole working up and down on my shaft 

And we both get What we wanted anyways...you get a big hard cock opening you up and pounding your ass and I get a deep, hot hole to fuck and fill with my nut, both leaving satisfied

[BlindRawFucker1]

Sex should be pleasurable an "fun" for both, or all, participants.

 

Also, I always believe it is an "honor" when a guy allows me to enter his body.

 

No one should take themselves too seriously during sex.  Be able to laugh at yourself if things don't go necessarily as plannd.

[ALPHAboy]

A pleasured, well stimulated bottom is a better milker. So... that's your answer

[Guygonebad]

  On 6/11/2019 at 3:17 PM, ALPHAboy said:

A pleasured, well stimulated bottom is a better milker. So... that's your answer

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A cum dump bottoms role is to take the top’s manhood and pleasure the top...period! If my top is enjoying himself then I get pleasure from that....it’s amazing.

[ALPHAboy]

  On 6/11/2019 at 3:22 PM, Guygonebad said:

A cum dump bottoms role is to take the top’s manhood and pleasure the top...period! If my top is enjoying himself then I get pleasure from that....it’s amazing.

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Very much true! I've noticed though that if a bottom is well stimulated the bttm becomes a better milker, his cunt reacts to the stimulation and there's so much more cunt juice being secreted. 

[Guygonebad]

  On 6/11/2019 at 3:27 PM, ALPHAboy said:

Very much true! I've noticed though that if a bottom is well stimulated the bttm becomes a better milker, his cunt reacts to the stimulation and there's so much more cunt juice being secreted. 

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That is true for me! If a top is really enjoying and pumping and having fun, my pussy reacts and I can control some of the reactions and contractions.  I believe the more I squeeze and contract my cunt, so as to squeeze the top’s cock, the wetter I become and the more pleasure the top gets from my pussy.  I luv giving him that pleasure!

[ALPHAboy]

  On 6/11/2019 at 3:31 PM, Guygonebad said:

That is true for me! If a top is really enjoying and pumping and having fun, my pussy reacts and I can control some of the reactions and contractions.  I believe the more I squeeze and contract my cunt, so as to squeeze the top’s cock, the wetter I become and the more pleasure the top gets from my pussy.  I luv giving him that pleasure!

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Thats exactly how its naturally supposed to work ❤️ Its so evident that men are supposed to breed and use our sex organs to accommodate each other. Makes me proud if men know this. 

Edited June 11, 2019 by ALPHAboy

[bbpoznow]

I like to be a fully involved Bare Bottom  and give  my top  a good experience . Then I benefit from it to 

[Guygonebad]

  On 6/11/2019 at 3:32 PM, ALPHAboy said:

Thats exactly how its naturally supposed to work ❤️ Its so evident that men are supposed to breed and use our sex organs to accommodate each other. Makes me proud if men know this. 

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Thank you Sir! Agree with you! 

[tallslenderguy]

  On 6/11/2019 at 1:09 PM, find91 said:

That is my point. You can't just treat all bottoms or tops the same. Just like you pointed out not everyone is into Dom/sub play. But don't get me wrong there's a big difference being direct and another trying to control your partner. You can be direct and tell a top if something isn't working or if you want more of something and not come across bossy or demanding. Good sex always needs communication. But using a tops dick to get off is someone trying to exert control. This is not shared pleasure, where the bottom is trying to make his top feel good and the top is doing the same. There is a clear power exchange.

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i hear you. i think you nail it when you note: "Good sex always needs communication."  i'd add that good relationship of any kind needs communication. 

The original question was: "Is it wrong for a bottom to use his top's dick for their own pleasure?"

i think the simple answer is: "it depends on the two individuals involved."   I.e., was it wrong for that particular bottom to use that particular Top's dick for his own pleasure?

i've often wondered about gay community biases and prejudices. i want to think that given our history of being labeled and compartmentalized in general terms, that we'd be really good at identifying and not doing that our selves. Not the case. It appears that ethno/egocentricity can infect any culture or person, or even the tiniest sub culture. Reality is, there are no two people alike.

We need and use words for communication, but words are never the thing they (attempt to) describe and they can never perfectly describe a person or their disposition.  And we know that. It's been proffered the 85% of communication is non verbal.  I.e., we use a lot of visual cues and tone in communication. i think the most underused part of communication is looking and listening, seeing and hearing.  Someone uses the word "Dom" or "sub" to label their self, and our reflexive response is often to put our definition on those labels. Instead of continuing to listen and look to see and hear the person, we saddle them with our own ideas of the label and try to ride what is really an imaginary horse. It may be a chicken lol.  

Some of the best D/s connections i have had never involved the use of words like "Dom" or "sub," but the communication was extensive and the sex (both physical and emotional) was AMAZING.

 

[travelingbi]

While I do love servicing aggressive tops and str8 guys. That alone gives me pleasure. But I gain enormous pleasure from feeling a guys cock sliding in and out of my ass. If his cock is rubbing my prostate in the right way, it will make me cum without even touching my cock. And a good fuck will give me multiple internal orgasms. In fact, when a guy is a good top, I can have multiple internal orgasms that can last for well over 5 minutes or more. If there's good chemistry between us, just laying together afterwards, cuddled, kissing and caressing, I'll continue to have orgasms even longer. Being a total bottom gives me as much pleasure as I used to have as a top. It's all about our mutual pleasure.

 

[ErosWired]

There’s absolutely no denying that a bottom derives pleasure from a fuck. Even a dedicated service bottom like me has to admit that the feeling is so damn good it’s like a drug, even if you don’t climax, and even when it’s a painful fuck it (almost) always ends up being worth the pain. Anybody who says he gets no personal physical pleasure from it would be nuts, and we haven’t heard that here - why? Because if it didn’t feel so good, guys wouldn’t stick their privates in other guys’ assholes, and the other guys that wouldn’t let them.

I think the bulk of answers in this thread have trended toward the notion that it’s fine for the bottom to feel pleasure when fucking, and that communication is the best way to ensure that both men get the most out of the encounter. But my sense of the OP’s original question was more along the lines of “Is it wrong for a bottom to use a Top without concern for the Top’s pleasure?” (I ask the OP to correct me if I have misinterpreted this.)

In that context, I’m not sure the question has been thoroughly considered in the thread. My own answer - that as a service bottom my duty is to the Top’s pleasure -suffers from obvious bias and is really not even useful - the OP’s question is properly addressed to that subset of bottoms who fuck purely for pleasure and not for some commingled mix of pleasure and duty/obligation. Or so I perceive.