Bottoms outnumbering tops

[Barebackpiggy]

Where I live, in Glasgow, bottoms seem to outnumber tops by a factor of 10. As a vers bottom myself, I find it quite frustrating as everybody is looking to be fucked and nobody seems to be doing the fucking. 

This is particularly evident on the apps, grindr and fabguys etc. It's not so bad if  I'm at the sauna but some days there it's the same.

I'm just looking for other people's perception of this. Is it different in other parts of the UK or abroad, where maybe they have a more diverse population? 

I've got a fuck buddy that's a total top that helps, but what I lreally like is sloppy seconds  thirds or fourths, and that rarely happens outside of a sauna on a good day. 

How do other bottoms meet tops where there is similar issues? Any comments would be appreciated. 

Barebackpiggy

[FunCheerSlut]

You certainly are not alone. I was on Grindr for the past 48 hours and would say the ratio in my area is about the same. And even for people like myself, whom advertise as versatile - when it comes right down to it I would definitely prefer to get fucked than do the fucking.

It's even more discouraging when the one or two "Tops" are also 100% flakes. Which might drop the above ratio in actuality.

Having said all of that, I did do my fair share of "topping" the last 48 hours because I see it as a virtuous cycle. The more I help other bottoms "get their itch scratched" aka hole fucked, I am hopeful that karma will be kind to me and bring a top or two or three (or more) my direction.

[BootmanLA]

4 hours ago, Barebackpiggy said:

I'm just looking for other people's perception of this. Is it different in other parts of the UK or abroad, where maybe they have a more diverse population? 

Having been "out and about" since the late 1970's, having traveled to many cities across the United States, and having been "online" with various services since the early days of pre-internet dialup with folks like Compuserve and AOL, I can honestly say I have never, ever heard anyone in any city or region declare that there are more tops than bottoms locally, or even that there is a reasonable number of tops where they live. How much of that is perception versus reality, I can't say, but it's commonly perceived wisdom, if not actual knowledge, that bottoms greatly outnumber tops everywhere.

[Poz2play]

I’m versatile, but lately I’ve just been bottoming. When my boyfriend was showing me stuff. I loved to top him and others but once he fucked me bareback I wanted to be more of a bottom.  I still top and share my loads . 

[NWUSHorny]

Total tops are the rarest, as someone who is truly verse I've learned that my best odds for getting fucked is to flip with another verse guy.  Being willing to return the favor works wonders when trying to get fucked.

[Hairypiglet]

I've lived all over the US and even in the UK for a summer doing a study abroad program. It doesn't matter where you live. London, New York, Seattle, Los Angeles, Portland, literally anywhere... There will always be disproportionate quantity where bottoms far out-number tops. It's just the way things are. I wish someone would do an academic study comparing homosexuality and human sex ratio. I'm sure it would be an interesting read.

[mblad99]

As a total top, I can say I don't have any problems getting ass whenever I want it..Chicago area

[Guest]

As a total bottoml i know that if i want to get fucked, i have to be prepared to do whatever the Top wants, when he wants and exactly how he wants. I can;t have any sense of shame, or of not wanting to do things. Tops will simply move onto the next bottom cunt who will do those things.

My message is; Bottoms, be useful. Be the best set of holes you can be.

[1000GUYS]

maybe it has to do with how easy is it to open your ass up to get a dick... some guys have trouble getting hard in some enviroment like Sauna and Sex clubs... but thats true, in the LGBT community, bottoms outnumbers tops... Here in Brazil its the same.

[Nik101]

17 hours ago, Barebackpiggy said:

Where I live, in Glasgow, bottoms seem to outnumber tops by a factor of 10. As a vers bottom myself, I find it quite frustrating as everybody is looking to be fucked and nobody seems to be doing the fucking. 

This is particularly evident on the apps, grindr and fabguys etc. It's not so bad if  I'm at the sauna but some days there it's the same.

I'm just looking for other people's perception of this. Is it different in other parts of the UK or abroad, where maybe they have a more diverse population? 

I've got a fuck buddy that's a total top that helps, but what I lreally like is sloppy seconds  thirds or fourths, and that rarely happens outside of a sauna on a good day. 

How do other bottoms meet tops where there is similar issues? Any comments would be appreciated. 

Barebackpiggy

I got the opposite issue! Where I live in London 70% of people on Grindr are tops. We should swap areas lol.

[Guest]

i'm pretty new to the scene so i guess thats attractive, have no problems finding guys to fuck me. havent found a pure top yet but i assume the more time i spend in the scene they'll arrive...

cant say how many bottoms there are.

[NastyRawBottom]

I live in NYC and for me, it seems to be evenly split between Tops and bottoms. It never feels like there’s an overwhelming amount of one of the other. However, I’ve travelled to other places in the US and they do have quite different ratios. I have a couple theories as to why that may be. 

1. Total Tops are much more likely to be discreet or DL. They don’t usually appear on the common hookup apps like Grindr for fear of being outed. If they are on the app, they almost never have a profile pic. The best bet is to use ad listing websites, like DoubleList. Craigslist use to be the best place to find Total Tops online for me, but sadly it got shut down. Otherwise, Total Tops can also be found in popular cruising spots or by chance at general and open nightclubs(not ones that are niche or exclusive). 

2. This is just my observation, but I have noticed diverse places have a more even ratio than homogeneous places. I’ve been to Portland, OR(Majority White) and Atlanta, GA(Majority Black). In both places there was an apparent surplus of bottoms. Meanwhile, in LA and Chicago there was a better balance(and lots of verse guys for some reason). I’m not sure why this is, or even if the correlation is valid. It would be an interesting thing to study. I think. 

3. It might just be our perception. It’s frustrating not being able to find a Top when we really need one, and it makes us think “the game is rigged.” The best and most consistent Tops I’ve met when I wasn’t even looking. When I’m actively looking, the Tops are more likely to flake. It’s a strange phenomena but it shouldn’t discourage anyone from seeking what they truly desire. It shouldn’t feel like a competition between us bottoms. There’s enough cock out there to go around. 😅

[leatherpunk16]

I used to be total top. It wasn't until a couple years ago that I switched to bottom out of necessity. 

I lived in a conservative midwest American town in Illinois. There were gays, but many were closeted. Probably still ARE. I knew the score back then, and recognized the need for tops. As an artist, I wanted to create that which was not there. So I stayed total top. My thinking was that it would be easier to find a boyfriend (based on the ratio), and I would get a lot of ass in the meantime. Neither one happened. What I got was treated badly by a lot of shitty people who thought they wanted sex, but went full-on giggles and goofy bitch when it should have been about lust and getting off. Most of the bottoms I played with had no idea how to clean out, or would tap out, or would change their minds and just jerk off, or kill the moment by declaring that since THEY can't get hard, I shouldn't be allowed to empty my nutsack either. And a ton of closeted married guys in middle-age or past it when I'm 20-something and horny. The few I got to do the deed with were usually a one-time thing.

This paragraph right here is why I never got to explore my sexuality until I turned 30. My youth was gone, and I had very few partners and stories and experiences. 

Which led to me being an inexperienced bottom in porn - a place where I need to know how to fuck and have partners in hundreds to thousands. 

I got off topic there. Sorry! Shit, I did that again.

Best to be versatile. Change positions as needed depending on one's partner at the moment. And it's good to be well-rounded if you're gonna be a ho. 

[NWUSHorny]

I would add that in Portland, OR it can also be difficult to find a bottom who is willing when I am horny.  While an overwhelming percentage identify as total bottoms here, there is still a shortage of guys relative to most cities that are into anal in either role.  You will have better luck here if you like to cuddle or JO, even sucking is farther than many want to go with another guy.  It can be very frustrating for someone who considers anything less than anal penetration as foreplay, and doesn't like a lot of foreplay.

Edited June 14, 2021 by NWUSHorny

[blackrobe]

43 minutes ago, NWUSHorny said:

I would add that in Portland, OR it can also be difficult to find a bottom who is willing when I am horny.  While an overwhelming percentage identify as total bottoms here, there is still a shortage of guys relative to most cities that are into anal in either role.  You will have better luck here if you like to cuddle or JO, even sucking is farther than many want to go with another guy.  It can be very frustrating for someone who considers anything less than anal penetration as foreplay, and doesn't like a lot of foreplay.

Note to self: Take a long weekend in Portland ASAP as a "top breeder relief tour".