Man wants to abuse me and beat me up

[Tightass74]

I'm talking to a man who wants to abuse me, beat me up, rape me, stick my head in a dirty toilet, etc. 

Part of me is nervous. Part of me is really turned on. He wants to meet me tonight. 

Any thoughts or advice or recommendations or opinions on what I should do?

[Treehugger]

Have you any experience with this type of thing? Do you have any safety protocols in place? How long have you been talking to this guy? Only going on what you have written I am nervous about you going through with this. 

[pervinmt]

Don't do it! Fantasies are one thing, reality is different! If this is a guy you've never met, he could be really dangerous.  I'm all for living out your extreme and twisted desires, but for gods sake, do this kind of stuff with someone you know and trust! A stranger is not the way to go for this. You could wind up in a hospital, or worse, dead. Think about it.

[tallslenderguy]

i agree with the others. There is nothing wrong with your desires and needs in my opinion, but there is something wrong with how you are trying to get them met.

The kind of stuff you describe is some pretty complex S/m and i believe that is best experienced in a relationship with someone you know and have established a bond of trust with, not a first time meet with an internet hook up.

 

[Philatanus]

Surely, you brought up this topic to the man or showed interest in it if he brought it up.

Sounds risky and foolish!

[DarkroomTaker]

Run for the Hills.... Not the Hills have eyes..

Seriously, think about what you are doing..

[ErosWired]

On the one hand, this guy could be all talk and might very well ghost you instead of meeting you because he likes to get off on his fantasy but has nothing resembling the balls to actually live it.

Or

He could be a psychopathic sexual predator who very much enjoys doing precisely what he says and will not be interested in stopping when you want to stop, and will be particularly interested in seeing you experience pain and physical injury.

When, if I may ask, was the last time you  experienced being severely beaten? When was your most recent rape? When was the last time you actually had your head in a dirty toilet, and for how long? In all of these cases, to what degree did you actually enjoy it?

If you haven’t actually experienced any if these things (as I do hope), and if you see no benefit to dealing with either a time-wasting game-player or a potentially dangerous predator (again, crossing my fingers here), then block this sketchy dude pronto and forget about it.

What you’re talking about is how guys end up in dismembered in suitcases.

[ejaculaTe]

2 hours ago, ErosWired said:

What you’re talking about is how guys end up in dismembered in suitcases.

If one's relatives and heirs are lucky, so to speak, he ends up in a suitcase. Scouring a few acres looking for the rest of the skeleton after some distraught citizen has found a hand on the ground makes for some very, very long days.

[str8mature5]

I won't do it!You don't know this guy wellenough.

[hntnhole]

12 hours ago, Treehugger said:

Have you any experience with this type of thing? Do you have any safety protocols in place? How long have you been talking to this guy? Only going on what you have written I am nervous about you going through with this. 

So am I.  Unless you really get off on courting serious harm, cut this guy off.  Chances are good he's a flake, gets off on scaring guys, but there are Jeffrey Dahmers out there, and you don't want to wind up in a crawlspace under this guy's house.  More, if you do get off on being seriously hurt, at least give the details of the hookup to a friend with the following information:

1.  Where you will be.   2.  When you will be there.    3.  What time your friend will call your phone.   4.  Give this information to the trick, and tell him that your phone will ring at such and such a time, and you will answer it.  If there is no answer, or someone else answers, the cops will be notified.  Also, if your phone has a tracker, enable that for the duration of the scene. 

Every one of the above replies to your question are excellent, and demonstrate concern for your safety.  Take their advice. As the old saying goes: "he who lives to run away, lives to get fucked another day" .... or something like that.

[poztwinksrhot]

There are guys who are sadists.  There are guys who are masochists.  There's nothing wrong with the two meeting up and having a party, and both getting what they want.  But...  as many others have said, you should do this with someone that you've known for some time, and who you trust won't take things too far.  Someone who your friends know, or at least who you can leave behind reliable contact information about, for someone to give to the police if things go terribly awry.

Is it really likely that he's planning on hauling you home in multiple pieces in a suitcase?  Probably not.  But just like for every 50 people that get horny and say they want to get pozzed and 1 actually tries hard, there are probably similar odds out there for guys into 'sane' sadism vs craziness.  Is the risk that you'll find that one crazy person high? No.  But, if you turn poz, you can take meds.  If you turn up dead or permanently disabled, was it worth it?

Edited December 6, 2021 by poztwinksrhot

[LetsPOZBreed]

On 12/6/2021 at 1:44 AM, Tightass74 said:

I'm talking to a man who wants to abuse me, beat me up, rape me, stick my head in a dirty toilet, etc. 

Part of me is nervous. Part of me is really turned on. He wants to meet me tonight. 

Any thoughts or advice or recommendations or opinions on what I should do?

A little bit of a relevant question:  How did this topic even come up with this guy?  Did he just put it out there, or had you both been talking about fetishes and the like?  Admittedly, this one is for my own curiosity.  My thoughts and advice echo the other posters here.  

My concerns here:

- Doesn't sound like you brought this topic up in the first place.  It was possibly put forth for you, and you just kept discussing it.  If this would be your first experience with literally any of these acts, I'd apologise to the guy and back out.  This is not the time, this is not the partner.

-  You need to have an "out".  Something like a safe word or some other way of stopping the scene if you feel uncomforable.  Your partner needs to know this word, know why you are assigning a word, and know that your stating this word stops all action immediately.  Anyone you've not actually met before might not honour this, and you shouldn't be taking this chance.

-  Even if the guy is genuinely into any BDSM stuff, this is too intense a scenario for a first meet.  If a Dom wants to get you to this point, there has to be a roadmap to get there.  Start out with some spanking first...if you don't get into that, then how do you expect to enjoy getting beat up?  That's one example, but it applies to the other things listed.

-  You have to look out for your own safety here.  All of this points can lead to disastrous outcomes if not careful, and I don't think you're into those consequences.  If you want to be introduced to these kinks, I'm sure you could find dominants who are much more willing to guide you into these the right way over many MANY sessions.  

[hntnhole]

56 minutes ago, LetsPOZBreed said:

Even if the guy is genuinely into any BDSM stuff, this is too intense a scenario for a first meet

There was not even a hint of interest, let alone experience in Leathersex in the initial post.  My guess is, that's something the writer of this post knows next to nothing about, let alone any experience.  I appreciate you mentioning some of the crucial aspects of a Negotiation, LetsPozBreed,  which must always take place well in advance of the proposed Scene.  If, as it seems, the other guy has no notion of his responsibilities, i.e. within the confines of the LeatherEthic, then our poster should seriously consider all the excellent replies above.

While I do commend out poster for at least asking - even if it's only over the ether - for input on the proposed "event", I hope he takes these replies seriously.  And then follow more of your advice:

1 hour ago, LetsPOZBreed said:

I'd apologise to the guy and back out.  This is not the time, this is not the partner.

Exactly what our poster should do, and promptly.  And in the following days and months, investigate, learn about the safeguards men that engage in this kind of sex must do before they hook up.  I am not inexperienced in the LeatherLife, and I know perfectly well that beginners simply must be cared for, taught the rules, educated in what should happen and what should not.  Thanks, LPB.

[DarkroomTaker]

1 hour ago, LetsPOZBreed said:

A little bit of a relevant question:  How did this topic even come up with this guy?  Did he just put it out there, or had you both been talking about fetishes and the like?  Admittedly, this one is for my own curiosity.  My thoughts and advice echo the other posters here.  

My concerns here:

- Doesn't sound like you brought this topic up in the first place.  It was possibly put forth for you, and you just kept discussing it.  If this would be your first experience with literally any of these acts, I'd apologise to the guy and back out.  This is not the time, this is not the partner.

-  You need to have an "out".  Something like a safe word or some other way of stopping the scene if you feel uncomforable.  Your partner needs to know this word, know why you are assigning a word, and know that your stating this word stops all action immediately.  Anyone you've not actually met before might not honour this, and you shouldn't be taking this chance.

-  Even if the guy is genuinely into any BDSM stuff, this is too intense a scenario for a first meet.  If a Dom wants to get you to this point, there has to be a roadmap to get there.  Start out with some spanking first...if you don't get into that, then how do you expect to enjoy getting beat up?  That's one example, but it applies to the other things listed.

-  You have to look out for your own safety here.  All of this points can lead to disastrous outcomes if not careful, and I don't think you're into those consequences.  If you want to be introduced to these kinks, I'm sure you could find dominants who are much more willing to guide you into these the right way over many MANY sessions.  

Spot on answer...