Inter-racial sex

[ellentonboy]

I have really noticed an increase in the amount of men who turn down sexual opportunities based on race.  When I first started hooking up online there seemed to be little discussion regarding the race of an individual when getting groups together for house parties.  Sure there were questions regarding top/vers/bottom ratios, if the attendees were in shape, age questions, and of course, HIV status.  As the years went by, since say 2004, there was less question about HIV status based on which sites I used.  The use of chemical enhancements was a no brainer as the question was already posted in most profiles (if allowed by the site).

But recently, the issue of race has become the first question out of most attendees mouths.  Who will be there or does their race match mine?   I get a lot of "well I don't have a problem with them, but my partner is uncomfortable".  Or "I have plenty of friends of opposite races, but I only have sex with men that are .....fill in the blank".

So, my question to Forum members is, do you take into consideration the race of an individual or those attending a group function before you make a decision to attend or not?  Certain sites have organized group parties where you can see who has decided to attend.   But what if a friend invites you?  I know most ask for photos, but will the race be the final factor in deciding to attend or not?

Very curious and looking forward to responses.  I am new to the Forum so please forgive me if I am repeating an often asked question but I haven't seen it discussed here much.

 

 

[SpectreAgent]

It’s a really interesting topic as I wasn’t aware this was a thing. I absolutely never take into account race (or religion, come to that) and it would never even occur to me to think of it. 

[RealCute]

Never consider race,  in fact I love the color contrast compared to my  pasty white body.  Close you eyes and all the men in the world are the same colour.

 

[gingerdaddyG]

I’ve never considered race to be an issue. Most of the guys I come into contact with happen to be the same as me but that largely reflects the demographics of where I live. I did meet a very sexy Arab when I worked in the Middle East for a short spell though - he was local, sexy and up for it raw - fits my hookup criteria!!

[NWUSHorny]

Personally I find variety is the spice of life.

I haven't had race come up recently and only very rarely in 30 odd years of being a slut. I admit my race on my profiles, since I'm blonde and blue eyed there is really no way to hide it. I have hookup with men of all races, and many ethnicities.

[Blkmuscbreeder]

I think in threads like this, very few men are going to come forward and say "I'm not attracted to this race or that race". It's become too [banned word] to say things like that.

Personally I wish it wasn't. I remember when I first got on the apps, say 10 years ago, when guys use to let everyone know on their profile which races they were and were not attracted to. I miss that. I don't want to waste my time hitting up a guy that's not into me 🤷🏿‍♂️. I understand as a Black man I'm not everyone's cup of tea (no one is), and perfectly ok with that!

[blackrobe]

As someone who's adopted and didn't know their ethnicity for most of their life, I've always thought the socially constructed idea of race, and with it concepts of blackness and whiteness, are too arbitrary, simplistic, and disconnected from actual genetic heritage to be of much use. Regardless, humans are wired to identify and recognize who seems the same as them and who seems different.

I grew up in a melting pot so I've always saw Lebanese, Italian, Greek, Vietnamese, Cambodian, etc. people around me. Weirdly, when I came out and started to move in gay circles, I didn't see all the ethnicities of my childhood visible in the same numbers. Likely a function of opportunity, and relative affluence since I was living in a big city. As my life has gone on, I've travelled, and have lived in a country different from my birth for approaching half my life. 

I've learned this... that difference has made my life richer. In cultures, in literature, in food, in music, in film, and, yes, in men.

When I found through DNA testing that I was mostly of Irish ancestry (except for some DNA from Morocco) I was a little disappointed. I think I was hoping for a little more difference in me. I feel like I'm kind of boring.  That just makes the differences in others all the more interesting to explore.

 

[Guest]

As it was mentioned previously, this topic could generate a very interesting thread discussion.  As for me, I have no preference.  By geographic location, I live in an area that is predominantly Caucasian, but I do not mind one bit the opportunity to meet up with other guys of different ethnic backgrounds.  I widen my circle of friends and have a good time in the process.  A win-win situation.

[an0nt0p]

Doesn't matter to me.  No racial hangups here.

[evilqueerpig]

My 1st man said, 'sexy comes in all shapes, sizes, ages and colors'.  To this day, I live by those words.  The human race is all that matters and I consider myself to be multicultural by injection/ingestion.

[BootmanLA]

8 hours ago, ellentonboy said:

I have really noticed an increase in the amount of men who turn down sexual opportunities based on race.  When I first started hooking up online there seemed to be little discussion regarding the race of an individual when getting groups together for house parties.

A little historical perspective: Back in the pre-online days, when personal ads were in print in the back of gay magazines and gay weekly newspapers, a significant number of ads used the phrase "No fats/femmes/blacks". So racial exclusion for one-on-one encounters has always been there - not shared by everyone, of course, but enough so that people felt comfortable making such a statement in a public ad. That practice continued in early online ads but I've seen a lot less of it in recent years, probably because more open-minded people who would in fact meet all the qualifications imposed by the ad poster (or app profile) respond with blunt indignation to those people, if the "no F/F/B" person tries to hit on them. Advertising you're a racist is becoming socially unacceptable.

For group parties, I think initially people just assumed you'd have no control over the other participants and you would just casually reject anyone at the party you didn't want to play with, even if the sole reason was race. But just as in online ads, it's becoming socially (if a sex party can be called social) unacceptable to express a racist opinion. No one wants to be called out at such an event for rejecting all the minority players, so some are just asking up front, to save themselves some well-deserved potential embarrassment.

Additionally: we're becoming culturally attuned to getting things exactly our way, on our schedule: food and grocery delivery apps covering almost every place under the sun, online ordering that allows detailed customization of an order, rapid delivery through services like Amazon Prime, and more. It's not really surprising to me that people who would prefer only partners of a certain race at a sex party would think little of just asking for that up front, on the grounds that they can ask for, and get, almost anything else these days.

[ellentonboy]

Well I have attended group parties where participants have told me, point blank, they were not interested in another guy because of his race, and his race alone.  Fortunately,  I was not the host and there were maybe 12 of us, so with that number it is easy to be tactful for those who did not want to interact with other attendees.   I do remember the no fats/no fems but it was more of a "be in shape/masculine" wording that came across as less offensive.  I have never seen the words "no blacks" online, but I have seen black men say "sorry only interested in other "men of color".  It does seem to work both ways racially, I think people are just trying to get the message across without being overtly racist.  

Where I have had issues is smaller events, say six guys, and when two more arrive and they see who is there, they leave.  I have followed up with a phone call to those guys and was told "You should have told us .......... was going to be there"!  I almost feel as if I need to send out a list in advance of attendees so I don't get people upset.  It's probably me just being naive, or thinking life is porn movie, but then again I have read certain porn stars won't work with guys of another race so I guess the subject is everywhere.

I wondered if anyone would even respond, if we had all, as a community, gotten past this point.  I don't think we have, at least not in my experience.  I hope more will respond so I can get feedback on what their experiences have been when it comes to these kind of "Sexually Social" interactions have been like.

[Filthpig69]

I've never discriminated on race. Being a Kiwi, it just comes naturally to accept all sorts of cultures and peoples imo. 

I am attracted to certain shapes and that sort of thing, like facial structures etc. (I hate how mechanical that sounds, lol). It's just when I see someone I like, I go with the flow. Simple. 

Attitude matters a million times more than appearance, just like how actions are more important than words. 

Edited April 22, 2022 by Filthpig69

[tallslenderguy]

Most of my sex with Men has been anonymous with me lying naked and face down on my bed... i.e., i don't see who is fucking me. That's actually been liberating for me when it comes to my own bias of attraction. 

For those i have seen, some of my best sexual encounters has been with Black Men and Hispanics, so i have an unreasonable, but emotionally positive attraction.  To me, bias of a visual nature is emotional, not rational.   my  goal is HIs cock and His desire/need to breed and the connection that can happen in that mutual dynamic, so it would really be irrational to reject someone based on visual bias... and if one is blindfolded or otherwise unseeing, things like "fat, fem, ugly, race, etc,, become non issues. Not saying we'd all be better off blind lol, but it is revealing what removing that sense can change. 

[hntnhole]

I'm outta doo-dad's - again ..... so this is my "upvote".  Racism is surely one of the most odious hatreds infecting Humanity.