Inter-racial sex

[fskn]

On 4/29/2022 at 1:16 PM, LJB666 said:

For me, and I know I might get chastised but race is a huge factor. I have a preference for certain races and dislike for others. I’m also into race play (role play). You can call me racist I don’t care, but people who say race is not a factor I just don’t buy it. I see people “prefer Asians” etc. I think race factor is hot as fuck. 

Thanks for taking the risk of being open about this.

Race play between consenting people can be hot. As a person of color, I think race play provides a way to respond to, and in some cases, reverse, inequality. I have a running race-play text message exchange with a white guy who likes being dominated (not just physically, but also psychologically, which is the aspect that turns me on) by Black men.

The emphasis is on consent. It's important to realize that many people have suffered terrible consequences due to race. Some — the optimists — might not even be conscious of the effects. A person of color has to trust a sexual partner's fundamental beliefs and basic intentions before being  willing to try race play.

As for preferences, I hope people realize that they can still accept and reject sexual partners based on whatever criteria they like, but without doing harm, by not stating race-based dislikes (or likes, which, when inverted, amount to dislikes). It's fine not to find a particular person attractive. It would not be fine to tell the person, "I don't find you attractive because you are Asian" or, worse yet, and totally false, "You are not attractive because you are Asian." (I chose the label "Asian" for these examples because it was until a year or two ago permissible, socially acceptable, and common for jerks to put "No Asians" in their Grindr profiles. The logic applies to any racial category, and it applies just as well when people, today, put a list of races they like, making the omission of some groups quite conspicuous.)

Edited May 4, 2022 by fskn

[bbpoznow]

I have no problem with any race . as long as both are willing  all is good 

[Guest]

On 4/29/2022 at 1:49 AM, ejaculaTe said:

I'll suggest another reason, one I heard more than a couple of times when I played in the Philadelphia area: a black man doesn't trust another black man to keep quiet about the encounter. In fact, the apprehension went farther than mere gossip as, for example, any acknowledgement of each other on the street could quickly lead to "how do you know him?" No one, or at least the men I met, wanted to be asked that question by family and friends. They figured that they were far less likely to encounter in their regular lives a white man with whom they had played, thus minimizing the risk of exposure.  

I have a black gay friend he does not date, hook up with, or get with any bisexual or gay man of any race if they are closeted or DL/down low like this. Now if someone does not want their entire workplace, are out to certain people but not others, or does not want certain people in their life who they are not close to or very good friends with to know they are bisexual or gay it is fine to be private, but if they set up rules such as never wanting to be seen together in public, not wanting to go to either person's home, only meeting late at night, etc. It does not matter how hot they are it is not worth going through all of this.

 

 

[blackrobe]

1 hour ago, fskn said:

Thanks for taking the risk of being open about this.

Race play between consenting people can be hot. As a person of color, I think race play provides a way to respond to, and in some cases, reverse, inequality. I have a running race-play text message exchange with a white guy who likes being dominated (not just physically, but also psychologically, which is the aspect that turns me on) by Black men.

The emphasis is on consent. It's important to realize that many people have suffered terrible consequences due to race. Some — the optimists — might not even be conscious of the effects. A person of color has to trust a sexual partner's fundamental beliefs and basic intentions before being  willing to try race play.

As for preferences, I hope people realize that they can still accept and reject sexual partners based on whatever criteria they like, but without doing harm, by not stating race-based dislikes (or likes, which, when inverted, amount to dislikes). It's fine not to find a particular person attractive. It would not be fine to tell the person, "I don't find you attractive because you are Asian" or, worse yet, and totally false, "You are not attractive because you are Asian." (I chose the label "Asian" for these examples because it was until a year or two ago permissible, socially acceptable, and common for jerks to put "No Asians" in their Grindr profiles. The logic applies to any racial category, and it applies just as well when people, today, put a list of races they like, making the omission of some groups quite conspicuous.)

I've been having a long running discussion on sex, race, and race play with a friend and fellow bottom. His experience as a black man is so different than mine in every respect that it's stark. I have trouble with race play since it seems predicated on racism and finding the path where it's ethically okay to take part in it seems incredibly challenging to me. I acknowledge that those paths may exist, I just find it difficult to see them for myself. I'm submissive and primal in nature, so I wouldn't be exerting power over someone else in any case, but so many of the dominant paths play into racial stereotypes and tropes as well.  

I'm really into difference as I've talked about before. When it comes to differences, skin color it a very obvious one. I've noticed that some men of color are very into how pale my skin is and other features related to my ethnicity. I'm fine with that provided they are seeing me. I haven't had the experience my black friend has had, skin color is just not that easy or simple for him. 

I'm just going to keep listening to men of different races about their experiences and learn.

[hntnhole]

16 minutes ago, blackrobe said:

I have trouble with race play since it seems predicated on racism and finding the path where it's ethically okay to take part in it seems incredibly challenging to me

I can't say I understand this.  I'm not exactly clear what in entailed in "race-play", but the mind does wander.  If it's anything like what it might be, I simply cannot imagine taking part in it.  I fuck all kinds of guys (well, not big on the obese ones, pun intended), but I can't think of an instance when the subject of race even entered what little - if any - conversation.  The question of Dominance vs submission only applies to the "whose-gonna-fuck-who" thing, and hardly requires verbal interaction. 

I'm usually not that bad at reading between the lines .... but this one has me stumped.  

Anyone ???

[BootmanLA]

6 hours ago, ellentonboy said:

"EVERYONE" sorts by race? That's a bit of a stretch, I am not quite sure that is true........

You quoted me, but I'm simply quoting the poster before me who insisted that everyone sorts by race. I'm not claiming that everyone does - he did. Please be more careful - rather than quote me quoting someone, why not quote the original comment you're objecting to, so it doesn't appear to the casual reader that you think I said the offensive comment?

[BootmanLA]

1 hour ago, hntnhole said:

I can't say I understand this.  I'm not exactly clear what in entailed in "race-play", but the mind does wander.  If it's anything like what it might be, I simply cannot imagine taking part in it. 

Race play can take diametrically opposing forms, actually. Sometimes the dominant player is of what is normally (within the particular society) the advantaged/majority race, and the submissive partner is of a less-advantaged/minority one; think a white top and a black bottom in the US, for instance, particularly in the southern US. Such play might well involve slavery themes or Jim Crow themes ("you talking back to me, BOY? Gotta learn you some manners!").

Sometimes the roles are reversed, with the less-advantaged/minority player as the dominant one, sometimes with themes of retribution and reversing control ("You been looking at that big black MAN's cock, white boy? You gotta earn that!"). 

And so on. It's variable, but those are a couple of examples of how it can play out.

[hntnhole]

Thanks, BootmanLA.  I'm the last one to judge what others do (unless harming others is involved), and consensual whatever is fine with me.  I think sometimes there's more out there that I don't know than stuff I do.

[fskn]

6 hours ago, hntnhole said:

I'm not exactly clear what in entailed in "race-play", but the mind does wander.

For a good example of race play, look up the role-play scene between Coffy, a sensitive but tough Black female character who becomes a self-appointed anti-drug crusader, and Vitroni, a white drug kingpin, in the film Coffy.

As I pointed out, race play may reverse conventional roles.

On the surface, this scene appears to uphold conventional roles, but a discriminating (in the sense of discernment, not of racial discrimination!) viewer might ask, "Why is Vitroni, with all his power, drawn to women, and to Black women, in particular? Does he really view women and Black people as inferior, if he feels a need to have sex with them?" Coffy recognizes his fetish and, in the end, exploits it rather successfully, reversing conventional power roles.

There is a gay-themed race play scene in the film East Side Story (formerly in the Netflix collection, but now on the last step before oblivion, in the no-cost Amazon Prime Video collection). That scene is totally stereotypical, and serves only to cast aspersions on an ex-boyfriend character. Other race-related exchanges in the movie do amount to social commentary.

Aside, about dominance and submission: If we remove the elements of race and gender, the Coffy/Vitroni scene matches a setup in Luis Buñuel's classic film Belle de Jour, in which a bored middle-class French housewife played by Catherine Deneuve becomes a prostitute. One male client pays her to play the role of an exacting and dominant doyenne, while he plays the role of a timid and negligent French maid. Psychologically speaking, it's not a big stretch from dom/sub role play to race play.

Edited May 4, 2022 by fskn

[Qilly55]

I love all cock.

 

[rock-cock-jock]

10 hours ago, fskn said:

It's fine not to find a particular person attractive. It would not be fine to tell the person, "I don't find you attractive because you are Asian" or, worse yet, and totally false, "You are not attractive because you are Asian."

Absolutely. I'm mixed Chinese-Irish and grew up in Jamaica. I've also made it a personal goal to try out the cocks/holes of every different race on earth but that's not to say I don't have preferences, I'm just a slut. After many years of grindring, I'm pretty immune to rejection as well, based on race or whatever and it doesn't bother me nearly as much as it did when I was 18-22. I'm glad to see so many guys are open to whatever race when hooking up, as it should be. However, I'm gonna be very blunt and maybe politically incorrect to say this, but saying race isn't a factor at all is ridiculous. The reason is that race, for the purposes of hooking up, refers to a combination of linked phenotypic traits, any of which may be individually attractive or unattractive to a person...and that's perfectly fine. My personal set of traits that I kinda lean toward are masculinity, body hair and thicc butts. These, and all other traits, have a different distribution across races but obviously not exclusively and will depend on culture, sexual identity, fetish roles etc. and I don't think people should be shamed for having these preferences.

I think regarding general success rate on grindr, it's less about your race and more about how hot you are. If you're a racial minority and you're on grindr, here's my constructive bit of criticism: falling back on your race as an excuse because guys aren't replying to you is quite frankly lame and a mental deadend. Instead, use that frustration for self improvement and/or figure out a game plan to get more sex depending on your circumstances -go to the gym, get a good diet, hire a trainer, see a dermatologist, see a doctor, advance in your job, make more friends, move somewhere more urban, steroids, plastic surgery, makeup, hair transplants, whatever you need to do to get more attractive. I think you'd be surprised that for many guys, it's less about your race and more about how generally fuckable you are

[fskn]

Super-constructive and pragmatic, @rock-cock-jock!

I always say, when people complain about Grindr, that it is what we make of it. Beyond physical attractiveness, a positive attitude matters too, and I'm reading that as a subtext of your message.

@Qilly55, that picture is also constructive. What better way to show understanding between people of different races? 😏😈

Edited May 5, 2022 by fskn

[rock-cock-jock]

2 minutes ago, fskn said:

Super-constructive and pragmatic, @rock-cock-jock!

I always say, when people complain about Grindr, that it is what we make of it. Beyond physical attractiveness, a positive attitude matters too, and I'm reading that as a subtext of your message.

oh yeah, for sure man. At least here in Canada, people love to bitch about everything and anything. The truth is, grindr is just a hookup game with a different set of rules that are generally more mercenary. Navigating those rules requires certain strategies, resources and understanding of gameplay to win the game (i.e. fuck). Tips and tricks for a minority to score on grindr should be a stand-alone forum topic lol

[justsexnowatl]

I agree with rockcockjock, it's pretty much about body/looks/confidence.  Men in general (me for sure!) are pretty shallow, and all about looks as far as hookups go.  I don't give a shit about someone's looks for friends, but for sex that's all I care about (piggy attitude helps too lol).  My bbrt profile states clearly I am into a total mix of age and race, but I'm not quite as blunt about body type.  

That's  a little off topic from the original post - guys leaving a group due to a different race being there.  I am 100% into a mix of races at a fuck party - PREFER it!  Pre-covid  I belonged to a huge private group, and the first time I went I was hooked.  The host was white, and probably half the guys were also white, but the rest were an even mix of black, latin, middle eastern and asian....there were 20-40 guys most of the time...pretty frequent parties.  I had never been to a fuck party with this kind of mix, and I loved it!  The diversity dwindled some over time, but I loved the mix of guys all mixing it up and swapping seed.  I still stuck to the guys who made my dick hard - any race/age, but pretty "hot" bodies/ass 🙂

 

[Ieatcumholes]

I wasn't going to reply to this thread, but some of the posts seem like they're speaking directly to me. So, speaking for myself as a Black man, and NOT speaking for ALL BLACK MEN,,,,

On 4/21/2022 at 3:05 PM, NWUSHorny said:

Personally I find variety is the spice of life.

YES! I agree 1000%!!!!!

On 4/21/2022 at 4:00 PM, Blkmuscbreeder said:

I don't want to waste my time hitting up a guy that's not into me 🤷🏿‍♂️. I understand as a Black man I'm not everyone's cup of tea (no one is), and perfectly ok with that!

EXACTLY! And I usually think it's that person's loss and not my loss!

On 4/23/2022 at 9:23 AM, viking8x6 said:

For a one-on-one encounter (or even a pre-planned small group), it seems reasonable to me that one's personal tastes or hot-buttons as far as sexual attractiveness would (and even should) be considered - no one wants to show up and have their trick go limp because they happen to be green, or have three eyes instead of two 😉  But at a group/party affair, it's unreasonable and inappropriate to expect that some attendees won't be your idea of the perfect man. After all, there are other people there who may well find those same people to be their cup of tea.

I realized a (relatively short 😕) long time ago that not everything is about ME! Someone posts a bunch of content that  >> I << don't like? Well, they didn't post it for ME. They posted it from THEMSELVES!

If I walked into a group scene (unlikely, but as a hypothetical situation) and every single person there wasn't my type, I would make my excuses and leave. If SOME people weren't my type, then I would focus on those who were my type. And I guess I'm just a slut, but if a man I'm not all that interested in presents me his hole to fuck and my dick is hard, I'm going to fuck him! Whether or not he's my type, be damned!

On 4/24/2022 at 1:20 PM, bluedragon said:

I'm lucky enough to be able to be attracted to pretty much all ethnicities and races: hot guys come in many forms,

YES! THIS! I like ALL races and most shapes and sizes. I also understand that's not the case for everyone!

On 4/24/2022 at 1:20 PM, bluedragon said:

Having said that, I don't believe people necessarily should be demonised for having and stating a racial/ethnic preference, depending on how they do it (we could all let other guys down more gently).

I've been told repeatedly over the last 30+ years, "It's not what you say. It's how you say it." In my mind (and I'm sure others will disagree with me), racism is less about what you like/don't like and more about how you EXPRESS what you like/don't like. "Sorry, I'm not interested" is QUITE the different statement from "Sorry, I don't like (insert particular group)."

On 4/24/2022 at 1:20 PM, bluedragon said:

When someone has told me that they are not interested in meeting black guys, this has usually come from... other black guys. I've often felt sorry for guys like that - does this come from living in a racist society, is this internalised? - but I have usually not pushed them to discuss or explain it, in case it drags up some uncomfortable/difficult feelings and ruins the sex I'm trying to arrange. I'd be really interested in hearing someone like that explain why though.

Reiterating that this is just from me, about me, as a Black Man, and NOT a statement about all Black Men, it's not that I don't/won't have sex with other Black Men! I do, have and will! But one of my interests (and despite years of introspection, I still haven't figured out WHY!) is hairy men. Genetically, Black Men are not hairy. Push a hairy Black Man my way, and I'm going to be ALL over him! Some other races tend to be genetically hairier, and I am initially more drawn to them than I would be to one of my Black Brothers. Another genetic trait many of my Black Brothers tend to have is a "phat" ass. Those don't do a whole lot for me. I tend to be more interested in cupcakes (you can cup the cakes in your palms) or flat asses. Again, other races tend to have those kinds of asses, so I am more drawn to those races.... And I'm not saying that I wouldn't fuck a smooth Black Man with a "phat" ass. That just wouldn't be the FIRST man I would fuck if it were a multiple choice situation.

On 4/25/2022 at 11:32 AM, badubydo said:

when it comes to women, I prefer white girls and latinas. I don’t have a preference to date Asians (even though I’m 1/4 Asian Pacific Islander) or black women. But how does that make me racist?

I've never fucked a woman and have no desire to ever fuck a woman. As I stated above, we all like what we like. And we shouldn't be faulted for that. How you would turn down an Asian or Black woman, at least for me, would determine whether or not you were racist. "Not interested." is quite the different statement from "I don't fuck Asian or Black women."

On 4/25/2022 at 11:57 AM, ellentonboy said:

Your remark about someone telling you they were not interested in meeting back guys has usually come from other black guys, is spot on.  It' something I've noticed more so in recent years, and the black men I have been involved with have told me they would never date or be sexual with another man of color.

This is a completely alien concept to me. But I'm not discounting anyone else's truth. I've had sex with White, Black, Latinx, Chinese, Filipino, Tongan (? Samoan?) and Southeast Asian men (that I can immediately remember so there may be more different men I've had sex with). I do see race. But race isn't one of the determining factors on whether or not I will have sex with another man. But I realize and understand that race IS a determining factor for some people.

On 4/25/2022 at 2:09 PM, BlackDude said:

I was with you until this. 
 

We have to keep it real. 90% of the no (insert race here) is from non-blacks, including Asians and “Anglo-Latinos.” You may have a few blacks being race exclusive, but that is the exception not the norm. Hell, a lot of black men don’t want other black men either. They can’t wait too line up to be in an environment without black people (see some of posts above). A lot of this black men who hate other black men are trying to “graduate” and find a place outside of black society and it’s a fools errand, but I digress.

And I was with you until this. I grew up in an all black neighborhood. I went to an all-black Elementary school. I was introduced to white people in Junior High and High School. For college, I applied to one HBCU and two non-HBCU's. (Historically Black College or University) I got into all three schools. Even though I got a full scholarship to the HBCU, I chose one of the other schools on the other side of the country. Not because I wanted to "graduate" and find a place outside of black society, but because I wanted to get as far away from where I grew up as I could without leaving the country. And, although I had the opportunity to request the African-American theme house at the non-HBCU as a freshman, I didn't. Because I wanted to experience something different. If I had wanted the same experience I grew up with, I would've gone to the HBCU.  I ended up getting placed in the Asian-American theme house. And I ended up living there three of my four years. My Junior year, I was a Theme Associate. My Senior year, I was a Resident Assistant.

My skin tone is dark enough that I can never pass for anything other than Black. So, there is no way I can "graduate" and find a place outside of black society. I love my people. We CAN be fierce. We aren't always though. And just as I'm sure people see me as a representative of my race, I'm equally sure that people see my race as representing me.. I can love my people without feeling like I need to be immersed in "black society."

On 4/25/2022 at 4:42 PM, hntnhole said:

We are all One.  We are all Equal.  Despite the cultural/religious bullshit shoved down our throats, we are all on the road to more fully overcoming racism, other, lesser repressions drummed into us as little kids.  We are one thick, rich, lovely, wonderful barebacking stew, and every one of us is an ingredient that tastes magnificently good.  Each of us thrives as part of the Greater We.  Each of us withers somewhat, when we deprive ourselves of the richness of our lives because of a taught, learned, nonsensical hatred. 

Embrace each other - support each other - of all stripes and colors and descriptions.  Make love each other.  Fuck each other.  Breed each other over and over and over again.  We're just too special to allow ancient garbage to infect our beautiful, magnificently sexually perverse lives.  

It's ONLY about Cock/Hole/Sperm

Excuse me, but think I might 🥰 you! 😉

On 4/25/2022 at 4:50 PM, bluedragon said:

In particular we live in a culture which projects a lot of sexual baggage onto black men, which becomes a reason either to fetishise or to reject them. In particular, a lot of the Black porn I've seen seems to revolve around a particular 'thug' masculine top stereotype. When I encounter and fuck black men in real life, I top more often than I bottom, since that's my preference, just like for other kinds of men I meet. I often find the black guys are especially fun because they can get quite enthusiastic about bottoming. It seems that every other white guy they encounter demands they top because they're expecting some version of the 'Thug' top, so when they get the chance to switch things up and bottom for me they are often quite eager to do it 😉

The "thug" stereotype of today is nothing more than an update from the Mandingo stereotype of the 70s. Gay Black men are seen as either macho thugs or effeminate queens. Heaven forbid we don't be at either end of the spectrum....

On 4/27/2022 at 6:25 AM, ellentonboy said:

What's sad is that being a white man seems to put you at the head of the line.  I don't view men in that way, but your comment on the days of CL ring true.  The idea of fucking a blonde white guy seemed to get more attention than the latin guy with the 9 inch dick, and God forbid he be uncut!

✋As much as I like white men, blond, in and of itself, doesn't do a whole lot for me. Never has. A blond man has to have something else to catch my eye; otherwise, he goes to the back of the line behind brown-haired, brunette and redheaded white men. But I know I'm in the minority in that regard. American culture seems to have a boner for Blondes!

I don't bottom much. But if a Latinx guy with a 9" dick wanted to fuck me, I probably wouldn't turn him down! And I would definitely choose to bottom for him before I'd choose to fuck a blond unless the blond checked something else off my list of 👅 👅 👅

On 4/27/2022 at 6:25 AM, ellentonboy said:

I've given up trying to write the PC profile because you aren't going to appeal to everyone, and sometimes putting too much thought into your ads or profiles can get a negative feedback.  I've decided just post the pics, give my stats and allow guys to decide for themselves if they find me appealing.

I think now I am confident enough to know that "you can't please all of the people all of the time", or "if you miss the guy, there's another one right around the corner" ideology because my mental health regarding acceptance and approval has greating improved,

As a general rule, whenever (the generic) you try to please everyone, you end up pleasing no one, especially yourself! Put out something you are happy with and don't worry about anybody who won't be happy with it!

Women are sometimes told, "The best way to get over a man is to get under another one!" The same is true for gay bottoms. For gay tops, it's, "The best way to get over a man is to get on top of another one!" And I have stopped thinking, "my loss! 😭 " when rejected by someone. I now think, "HIS loss!" 

On 4/28/2022 at 11:51 AM, ellentonboy said:

 I don't know about you, but even today I still get remarks from acquaintances that it isn't "a good look" for me to be seen with or be open about my encounters with brown or black men.  I tell them I don't care what people say about me. You would think that in 2022 people would have moved past that, but sadly they haven't.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, criticize! Only YOU can do you! Other people are always going to try to live your life for you. But YOU are the only person who can live it! And NEVER give that power up to anyone else!

On 4/28/2022 at 1:57 PM, hntnhole said:

Oddly, when I moved to Ft.L., out walking the dog I would see p.o.c. walking on the street, and before I could say good morning or whatever, they would look down at the pavement.  Someone pointed out to me that Af/Am folks were actually taught not to look Caucasian in the eye, as that could be interpreted negatively.  Absolutely stunning.

Yes, there was a time when a Black person who looked at a White person in any way other than deferential or submissive was likely to be lynched. And that's the kind of thing that permeates through generations of Blacks in certain areas of the US. (I don't know about places outside of the US.)

On 4/28/2022 at 10:49 PM, ejaculaTe said:

I'll suggest another reason, one I heard more than a couple of times when I played in the Philadelphia area: a black man doesn't trust another black man to keep quiet about the encounter. In fact, the apprehension went farther than mere gossip as, for example, any acknowledgement of each other on the street could quickly lead to "how do you know him?" No one, or at least the men I met, wanted to be asked that question by family and friends. They figured that they were far less likely to encounter in their regular lives a white man with whom they had played, thus minimizing the risk of exposure.

While I really want to claim BS to that, my second reaction is, "Yeah, that may be right." The DL movement started around Black men who had sex with other men on the down low. There would very likely be many fewer questions about "why do you know that White man (whether or not he appeared to be effeminate)" than there would be about "why do you know that gay Black man".

13 hours ago, ellentonboy said:

 I think it's not about what you say, but when and where you say it.  

Yes! See my statement above.

  

13 hours ago, fskn said:

As for preferences, I hope people realize that they can still accept and reject sexual partners based on whatever criteria they like, but without doing harm, by not stating race-based dislikes (or likes, which, when inverted, amount to dislikes). It's fine not to find a particular person attractive. It would not be fine to tell the person,

As I've already posited, I believe it is ok to tell someone you're not attracted to them. It's HOW you tell them that makes the difference. "Sorry, not a match." or "Sorry, not interested." is fine. "I don't DO (men of a particular race or trait)!" isn't fine.

And it's now past my bedtime, so I'm going to end this rather long post.