How many people here have been bullied by one of the moderators?

[T-Girl-Cumdumpster]

On 9/3/2022 at 3:40 PM, BootmanLA said:

An observation: As the rules change - and I'm in favor of rules changing as circumstances dictate, they're not holy scripture handed down from on high - topics and posts that once may have been acceptable might no longer be.

In reality, the topic "Best Age for Starting Sucking Cocks" probably should be nuked, period. As the moderator in question explained, it's one thing to say "I started at X age"; it's another thing to say "Boys should start at X age" when X is most definitely illegal in most jurisdictions. And the topic of the folder, as titled, really suggests the latter rather than the former.

I suspect the ONLY reason it wasn't deleted was that there are, in fact, a lot of posts of the first type (probably mostly bullshit, but I digress), and those are expressly permitted. The topic probably should have been renamed "What age did you first suck a cock?" but then there are probably half a dozen such topics already in existence because TOO MANY PEOPLE CREATE A NEW TOPIC EVERY TIME THEIR BRAIN FARTS INSTEAD OF LOOKING TO SEE IF ONE EXISTS ALREADY.

But back to the rules changing: when they change, it would be a major undertaking to go through the forums looking for everything that violates the rules (and every acceptable post that nonetheless depends on a post that violates the rules). It's just not practical for a small volunteer staff to do. So all that they CAN do, really, is enforce the rules going forward as evenly as possible (NOT taking into account that posts that violate the new rules still exist). 

that's exactly what I am saying. If you dont want people to post what age the first sucked cock (pre-legal for most of us) don't have the topic or at least be consistent instead of using the rules to flex and ignoring infractions by your buddies. I JUST read a post written BY one of the moderators that explicitly mentions prostitution. in the real life account post, money is promised for sex and money changes hands. But this same moderator has told many of us that references to prostitution are not allowed. I decided not to be a dick about it because he is actually the most level headed moderator here (obviously not THAT one lol) What pisses me off is getting suspended for stuff that is similar or identical to others in the exact same thread. but that I can deal with because you can only expect so much professionalism on a private owned site. The most annoying thing is when a bitter old queen won’t just go away and leave me alone and stick to moderating and just ignore allowed posts if she is determined to be bitter towards me. barf.

[T-Girl-Cumdumpster]

On 9/2/2022 at 2:21 PM, BoyStrangler said:

Some of you may have noticed some of the moderators really get off on throwing their weight around. The worst one being viking8x6. If you dare to not like something he says, he engages in a prolonged passive aggressive attack, by constantly downvoting your comments. While I understand that anyone is able to do this, it is clear he is only doing this out of spite. Then, if you dare to do the same thing back to him, he will comb through your comments until he finds something he can justify suspending you for. This is often among a bunch of similar comments others have made in the same thread. I know this because my boy was recently suspended for a comment in Best age to start sucking cock. A thread they have permitted for a long time, despite the fact that they like to use the responses (generally involving recounting your own experience as occurred with @gangbangsuperstar. Let’s face it, on a site like this, they can find some excuse to suspend anyone of us whenever they feel the need to remind you who’ s boss. And yes, they have the right to. But just because you CAN do something, that doesn’t mean you should. Integrity has requirements. She did warn me beforehand that she had responded to his harassment in kind (even though I had warned her not to bother stooping to his level) and fully expected to be suspended as we all know bullies do not like it when people stand up to them. I personally do not think such a bitter, small person should be in charge of anything like this as they tend to wield their perceived power improperly. I am fairly certain I will face a lengthy suspension as despots and bullies do not appreciate dissidents (see China’s ruling communist party) and I’m sure they will recount how “difficult” the job is and the mod suck ups will defend them but I cannot tolerate bullies in any form and feel it is up to individuals to call them out regardless. Just wanted to post this so that anyone else out there dealing with bullying from this moderator knows you are not alone. I know of several people who have had to deal with his bullying, and despite waiting for him to simply go away and simply perform the task of a moderator, he has chosen to use the position to flex. I have not always seen eye to eye with the moderators here but have found them to be professional. This one is NOT, and has not been for awhile. So speak out. Speak out against bullying, don’t defend it. Peace out!

 

thank you for saying what others are afraid to say. bullies are like roaches, they thrive in the dark. I agree. He is THE worst.

[T-Girl-Cumdumpster]

On 9/2/2022 at 11:44 PM, ErosWired said:

I actually agree with you on this point, and confess that I have never quite understood the thinking behind it. The policies may have a rationally considered basis, but that basis is either poorly communicated or not at all, and ends up coming across as arbitrary and capricious when it comes down to enforcing regulations.

Most people are willing to comply with reasonable controls when they are clearly explained and they can understand why they’re needed. Not that many people, particularly adults, react well to “Do as you’re told” without any reason. In my view, some disquiet might be avoided with greater clarity, but that assumes there’s actually a logical reason for the contradictions you point out.

It could be that the censorship appears piecemeal because the preference is not to limit content, but a certain amount of blockage is dictated by the legal constraints the site owner must comply with to ensure the site is not targeted by the authorities or other groups intent on silencing all such discussion online. The censorship of terms and discussions related to sex with males not yet of the age of maturity (note the circuitous reference) is very intentionally because such content being found on the site by internet searches would be an express ticket to this place getting put under a microscope by law enforcement, and likely closed. We probably skate pretty close to the edge of the ice as it is.

The point where your view on this an mine probably diverges is that while we would both like to see an end to the apparent contradictory philosophy and policies where they concern potentially harmful practices, I would prefer to see the site err on the side of protecting people from harm rather than throwing open the floodgates to every corrupt, debased thought and practice possible and leave every person to sort it out for himself. Not everyone has the same level of maturity, sophistication, experience, common sense, or self control. Some children should not be turned loose in a candy store. That’s why Moderators are necessary. Augustus Gloop and Veruca Salt are why Moderating isn’t easy.

moderating isn’t hard. unless you make it hard.

[viking8x6]

On 9/3/2022 at 1:16 PM, viking8x6 said:

If I downvoted your posts or your girl's recently, it was because I honestly thought they were crappy content. I don't think that about all of y'all's posts. But I certainly do think it about some of them.

I said that four weeks ago. It's still true. You have posted a pile of things that I didn't downvote in that interval. And now, when I downvoted one post because it was (in my opinion and only my opinion) off-topic and derailing the discussion of someone's actual experience (as posted in the "your last load" thread) suddenly you're complaining that I'm pursuing a vendetta? Please. I have better things to do. But go ahead, keep digging...

[TaKinGDeePanal]

I’ll speak about one of the issues that has been raised in this thread.  
 

When the FOSTA and SESTA laws were enacted, the mods weren’t sure whether retrospective posts might land the site in trouble. I volunteered my services to go back and indicate the ones that were possible flags (the ones that were obviously non-fictionalised). Took me about 3 weeks to do (couple of hours every day). 
 

This happened before @viking8x6 became a mod. 

[TaKinGDeePanal]

38 minutes ago, TaKinGDeePanal said:

I’ll speak about one of the issues that has been raised in this thread.  
 

When the FOSTA and SESTA laws were enacted, the mods weren’t sure whether retrospective posts might land the site in trouble. I volunteered my services to go back and indicate the ones that were possible flags (the ones that were obviously non-fictionalised). Took me about 3 weeks to do (couple of hours every day). 
 

This happened before @viking8x6 became a mod. 

Bet I’ll get a couple of downvotes for what I wrote. Let’s see what happens!

[ellentonboy]

1 hour ago, T-Girl-Cumdumpster said:

seriously. what’s up with this “guy"? why such a bitter old queen. like seriously, very few posts on this site actually merit taking the time to downvote but this dude is pathological about it. maybe just be a moderator OR a troll?

The fact that you said the words "bitter old queen" and "troll" in your post says quite a bit about you.  There are rules here, you were supposed to read them when you joined, so why not just follow protocol.  Sounding like an entitled 20 or 30 something is a bad look, just saying....

[ErosWired]

2 hours ago, T-Girl-Cumdumpster said:

moderating isn’t hard. unless you make it hard.

Said everyone who’s never done it.

[NWUSHorny]

I have never felt bullied by one of the moderators, although I am well aware my positions aren't always welcomed by all of those participating in the discussion forums.

[blackrobe]

This is a tale as old as time.

I was a sysop of a BBS in the pre-internet days (you can look it up). Sysops were responsible for moderating content in forums originating on their system to be compliant with local laws even then. I've been hearing the same kinds of "big bad sysop/moderator was mean/unjust to me" stories since the late 80s. 

With the global reach of the internet, the complexity is multiplied by the need to comply with laws in *all* jurisdictions your users come from, not just the ones where your site is hosted. It's a difficult, unenviable, and completely thankless job. It's also an entirely necessary one if you want a site to continue to exist for your use.

That's not to say some sysops back in the day didn't have themselves a power trip and get too controlling. But back then the restrictions were less stringent, the consequences less harsh, and the likelihood of LEO engagement much lower than today. The amount of content that needs to be moderated now is staggering. I can guarantee that moderators hope they don't *have* to take any kinds of actions, because it's just work.

[ellentonboy]

23 hours ago, T-Girl-Cumdumpster said:

that's exactly what I am saying. If you dont want people to post what age the first sucked cock (pre-legal for most of us) don't have the topic or at least be consistent instead of using the rules to flex and ignoring infractions by your buddies. I JUST read a post written BY one of the moderators that explicitly mentions prostitution. in the real life account post, money is promised for sex and money changes hands. But this same moderator has told many of us that references to prostitution are not allowed. I decided not to be a dick about it because he is actually the most level headed moderator here (obviously not THAT one lol) What pisses me off is getting suspended for stuff that is similar or identical to others in the exact same thread. but that I can deal with because you can only expect so much professionalism on a private owned site. The most annoying thing is when a bitter old queen won’t just go away and leave me alone and stick to moderating and just ignore allowed posts if she is determined to be bitter towards me. barf.

“She” are you sure about that? This isn’t some bar with a bunch of 20 somethings trying to throw shade at someone whose purse doesn’t match their outfit. Grow up! 

[BootmanLA]

As a non-moderator here (but someone with extensive experience as one, elsewhere), here are a few observations I've gleaned from this site.

Generally speaking, the site owner (and by extension, his moderators) want as little restriction as possible on the discussion as long as it (a) stays on-topic, (b) fits into the organizational structure of the site, and (c) doesn't run afoul of either legal restrictions or the owner-imposed site restrictions.

As for on-topic: even though the site is, at its core, about bareback sex, there are offshoot discussions that can go in a variety of directions. So one might, for instance, in a thread about actors one might want to fuck, discuss a desire to fuck Steve Carell, and from that, the thread might spiral into some discussions of episodes where he was especially appealing. But creating a thread just for fans of the Office to discuss favorite episodes would be off-topic.

Fitting into the organizational structure is the source of those "thread moved" notices - and that organization is important for several reasons. One, there are certain topics (like fisting or drug use) that a significant number of people don't want to see. Sometimes that's a preference about what's erotic, and that relegates such topics to one of the fetish forums. Other times it's an issue of being a trigger for people in recovery, and that relegates such topics to the Back Room. But even in general: nothing would be "findable" if the site were one big jumbled folder of personal ads, discussions of porn, health advice, and more. So familiarizing oneself with the topical layout of the system is something everyone should do.

Legal restrictions are critical. No site can afford to be a target for a lawsuit from the government, so if advertising for prostitution is illegal (as it is in many jurisdictions), it has to be curtailed here. But there's nothing illegal about someone posting that he has had experience as a prostitute, and in line with the site owner's preference for "as little restriction as possible", those kind of posts are allowed.  Likewise, it's not generally illegal to have HAD sex before you were over the age of consent; it's illegal for someone else to have sex with that underaged person. So it's okay to have a post saying "my first time oral was at age 13" but it's not okay to have a post saying you want to have oral sex with someone age 13, nor is it okay to encourage other people to have sex with someone age 13. And that's why posts about your experiences at age 13 need to be simple facts without a lot of detail, because the more detail and eroticization the post has, the easier it is to cast such a post as encouraging that behavior.

Finally, ownership site restrictions are just as critical. This is his turf, his rules. So when he says you can't post about chasing STI's (other than HIV), and you can't eroticize advancing from HIV+ to AIDS status, those rules are just as binding as any other.

Lastly - a note about complaining about moderation. If you have a complaint about how the rule was applied to you - it should be taken up with the moderator privately. Sometimes they might review their actions and determine there was overreach, and reduce the penalty involved. Sometimes they'll review and realize their explanation wasn't thorough, so they'll walk you through a clearer explanation. But if your problem is that you don't like the rule you're being asked to follow, no amount of foot-stomping and bad-mouthing the moderator(s) is going to get your penalty lifted. If anything, it's likely to merit a new penalty.

The moderators don't make the rules; they enforce them, and that means, if you don't like the rules, there's only one person you have to convince: the site owner. It's unlikely, but if you presented a clear, coherent argument why it was more important to allow your preferred post instead of enforcing his rule, you might get the rule modified. But in any event, he's the only one who can do anything to change the rule. 

[PozTalkAuthor]

I won't call it "bullying" as a moderator does his job and he's human as all of us, there might be mistakes but instead of feeling like a victim of something it would be better to protest in a polite way if necessary.

...or create our own communities if we want our own rules.

This spring I have been suspended for 13 days -content deleted- and it was my very first attempt to publish a story here! Very frustrating, yes, but then?

In a way I felt frustrated because English is not my native language and I used words which could be misunderstood.

A character talked to another one who was upset for a situation he found himself into, like this:

"if you want to [permanent damage], do it on your own because I would NEVER support such choice."

Intention was to DISCOURAGE a self-destruction choice but moderator considered that "do it on your own" as an encouragement and warned me for "promoting harm to the community".

I didn't protest then, as I understood I could say the same thing differently: "if you want [permanent damage] I won't follow that path with you. Self-destruction is not my thing and it shouldn't be yours too".

But the second warning came because, using the "fan fiction" model, I continued the story of another character taken from another author. Without talking to him first, assuming fan fiction model was universally accepted - I read lots and lots of fan fictions blogs! And I was completely wrong on that, I still feel responsible towards him; we clarified, I excused myself explaining everything but that was the worst mistake I made as an author and still can't forgive myself for this issue.

So, I don't complain about moderators' efforts to keep the site safe; they do their best.

 

[TaKinGDeePanal]

1 hour ago, apollobchbttm said:

Ellentonboy, is spot-on with his post. Slamming  .8 of T could be dangerous and it’s definitely wasteful. If you goal is to extend the high and have a suggestion.  Slam .4 if the Tina is good you should experience a nice rush. The 30 minutes later find a shard that weights no more then .2 and bump that bad boy deep up your hole. Wait another 60 minutes and slam the other .4  of T. You will looking for a flag pole to sit-on and the high will be consistent  for the next 6 hours or so. Oh, almost forgot remember the drink water lots of it or you won’t be able to slam the second .4. It happen to me and the administer  was a very experience at pointing others.

@apollobchbttm - I think you might have accidentally posted this in 2 spots.

[hntnhole]

On 9/3/2022 at 1:33 AM, RawPlug said:

Personally, I feel the moderators do a bloody good job

Hear Hear.  I have respect for them putting up with as much as they do.  I used to own businesses in the publishing industry, and I wouldn't want their job, no matter how much they're paid.  The notion that there are "bullies" moderating this resource is nothing short of myopic.