Okay, Explain: Why does “On My Way” also mean the opposite?

[ErosWired]

I’m hosting in Louisville tonight, and have so far had three (3) men say either “On my way” or OMW and then not show up. In two of the three cases I could watch the locator distance sit at precisely the same number, meaning they didn’t even budge.

Why, why, why the fuck do men do this? It absolutely baffles me, yet it’s become so common it’s epidemic. It’s as though somehow “on my way” has taken on the meaning of “not on my way”. The trouble is, some people do use it the original way, which means now the term is useless because you can’t know which it means at any given time.

Men - for the live of all that’s cock-shaped, QUIT SAYING ‘ON MY WAY’ IF YOU’RE NOT COMING. IT’S A DICK MOVE.

Edited September 5, 2022 by ErosWired

[Diesel]

Bloody frustrating when blokes are too chicken to be straightforward and admit they have no intention of attending. I guess many are just cyber wankers to start with. 

Better to disappoint with a bit of honesty in the first place than to string a potential host along. This could cost the host alternate opportunities and as you say is a DICK MOVE.

[BadBob]

Yeah,  I've experienced this and also, on a couple of occasions, made arrangements to travel to a meet and then been contacted on route to say something has come up and to cancel.  A few have then contacted me, on another occasion, to ask if I'm up for a meet. I usually reply with something appropriately obtuse and block them if I haven't already done so. I realise some guys maybe nervous about meeting,  but it drives me mad. 

[SpectreAgent]

The one good thing about organising/paying for an Uber for a hookup is that you can track them! 😂

[hntnhole]

I can only think of two explanations:  

1.  "On my way meaning", I'll be leaving (wherever I am) shortly and coming to you, with no intention to fulfill that statement in the first place.

2.  An unsaid, but implied (in the mind of the trick), "I'll be" preceding the phrase, which would be "I'll be on my way", which phrase could mean ^, or he's already arrived, decided not to fulfill his intended purpose, and he'll be leaving (your place) momentarily.

The first is the obvious insincerity, the second far more obtuse and almost certainly not applicable.  There is a third though: "I am a total asshole, but I can't admit that to you (via the ether or in-the-flesh) or to myself". 

[BootmanLA]

This is one reason why I seldom rely on hooking up via an app - I think they're a good way to meet people who are seriously interested in play, but finding someone and having him over five or six minutes after the first message not only isn't my style, but (in my experience and opinion) a recipe for disaster. Between those who are just looking for fapping material, those who are easily distracted by the next message that comes along, those who are too fucked up on drugs to remember what they just said they'd do, and those who are constantly holding out for something better, I don't often find anyone interested in connecting in a dependable way.

I feel for you, though, because knowing your situation, you're limited (to some degree) to this kind of adventure - getting a room and taking on interested parties. It can be frustrating indeed. 

[ErosWired]

3 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

those who are easily distracted by the next message that comes along, those who are too fucked up on drugs to remember what they just said they'd do, and those who are constantly holding out for something better

I think you may be getting at the heart of it here, especially the first two. So many times someone will message me, I’ll reply within seconds, and then I hear nothing for half an hour if ever - and I just know they instantly jumped to another profile and completely forgot the ever sent me a message.

I don’t suffer fools well.

[faggotsub]

had a conversation with 4 sniffies guys this past week...gave them my address...they were on their way..so they said...not one showed 

maybe they read the profile make the commitment and read the profile again and see im poz Undetectable annd change their minds

not one said sorry changed my mind  WTF so i dont know what on my way means...

Pangs of being a 70 yo s,lut  living in a rural area

                        last night a black guy whos profile said :Cant Host" wanted to fuck..i said bring it..said he couldnt drive so i guess i was suppose to volunteer going to pick his ass up and bring him home..  this world is so fucked up... was ao much easier to go get whatever you needed before they put all the fences up at the rest areas

[funpozbottom]

I don't use apps or hook-up sites much anymore, but when I did, I found that  getting a message followed by a long silence meant the guy was bored at work and maybe looking for something later but then he got busy and forgot to reply again.  Saying "on my way" did not mean he was on his way to me -- it meant something more like:  "my shift ends in two hours but if it stays slow I can probably dip out in 15-20 minutes but I might have to go home to shower first and then my roommate may want to do something with me .... " 

Your situation is probably different, but that's the problem I have living in a college town: Lots of hot boys, and lots of hyper squirrels. Sometimes it's hard to tell which is which.

[backtails]

I almost always go to my bottoms rather than them coming to me, so I don't get this much.

You could reword the phrase. "On my way" can mean "I'm coming". Or "I'm gonna come." Right? A lot of the time he's just so excited about the sex he's gonna have that he just nuts and decides not to have it.

 

Edited September 6, 2022 by backtails
typo

[ErosWired]

4 hours ago, funpozbottom said:

but that's the problem I have living in a college town: Lots of hot boys, and lots of hyper squirrels. Sometimes it's hard to tell which is which.

But none of it excuses the behavior, which is thoughtless, inconsiderate and shitty. I have zero tolerance for notions that guys get a pass because they’re young and stupid. All that tells us is that they need to get older and wiser before they can claim to be men.

[PozBearWI]

On the plus side of these aps, when a guy write OMW or On my Way and then ghosts I just block them.  No point in any further conversation.  At that point I have learned all I need to know about them.  

[onlyraw]

16 hours ago, ErosWired said:

I don’t suffer fools well.

Nor should you (we) have to….. but alas I think it is the world we are living in now

one of the advantages of “the good old days” when you hooked up with the actual guy at the bar. You both knew what you were actually getting (none of this “I wonder how old the pictures are?”)

and you could see if the other guy was so out of it he wouldn’t make it to your house… or you could tell if while he was playing with you he was also scanning the room looking for “something better “

[tallslenderguy]

i think the anonymity of online makes it easier for guys to be inconsiderate, bringing out their inner three year old.  my guess is anyone who does that would to be a less than stellar fuck anyway, obviously self absorbed. It is enormously frustrating though. 

i think online hook up culture has mutated too. i used to have a fair amount of success with CL, running an ad where i'd be waiting naked and ass up. But it's never been perfect or 100%  Nothing has ever beat cruising spots for me. "On my way" is never an issue at a cruising location because the real, serious Guys who want to fuck are already there. If i'm seriously in need of cock, i don't even attempt apps, i just go to the local ABS... covid put a damper on that for awhile, thank goodness for FB's. 

[hntnhole]

3 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

thank goodness for FB's

These were guys that you'd come to "know", felt were trustworthy, all of that, right?  So you were able to feel "safe" (from covid, anyway) with them?