Talking to your partner about prep

[Bbpally]

I have always been absolutely INFATUATED with cum.  From my teens all I could think about while jerking it was getting filled up with cum.  Eating it.  Getting fucked with a cummy hole .. etc. 

However, I also don't want to get HIV.  In fact I'm quite scared of it.  

So, enter prep.  Or at least hopefully enter prep.  

Anyone have any advice for talking to your partner about possibly going on prep to open up the possibility of bareback outside of the relationship?  Been with the same wonderful dude for four years. And we've been open and closed.  

 

We've shared fantasies. He knows my kink and how piggy I am.  I've asked him if he would watch(and participate) in a gang bang with me getting filled up.  He said yes.  But unsure if it was a just in the horny moment sort of answer. 

If there's anyone who has had this Convo Ave has tips let me know!

[hotguy02]

My top is strictly against me getting on prep.  He is poz undetectable. N told me there was no need bc he's the only one I swallow or get bred by

[CumNMeDC]

Just fuck and have fun.  Don’t worry about it. If you get HIV so be it. Why have a conversation about prep anyway. 

[justsexnowatl]

What are you waiting for?  Even if he was just horny and in the heat of the moment, he said YES!  Especially if he knows you're a cumslut he might be surprised you're not already doing it and wants to be a part of it.  He might be completely into it like I would be!!  He might LOVE sloppy seconds like I do and be afraid to suggest you get loaded up for him.  Talk to him again when you're both horny and get him to agree again and go for it!!!  Even in the heat of the moment I seriously don't think he'd say Yes if he weren't into it.  I'm looking forward to seeing how it plays out - keep us posted - I have a feeling you'll be getting random loads by the end of the month, and your bf will be loving it as much as you!

[austin_submale]

Sounds like he would go for it if he's open to you getting gangbanged.

 

[PozTalkAuthor]

4 hours ago, hotguy02 said:

My top is strictly against me getting on prep.  He is poz undetectable. N told me there was no need bc he's the only one I swallow or get bred by

 

Honestly I don't really understand your partner's position... I'm poz undetectable too; with my neg partner we're currently monogamous and play bareback, but we have talked a lot of this issue, even with him coming with me to my doctor. 

For now he's not on Prep, but I really have nothing against it if my guy one day would tell me he'd go for it; it's HIS health, HIS body. And in case he wants to open the relationship Prep is the first thing we would think about. Well, if he wanted to take it without us to open our relationship "officially", I would have nothing against that decision as it means, "if you cheat you at least think of your health". I have HIV due to cheating consequences in a before-Prep time; why should I say no! I'm undetectable, I'm safe, but if the guy wants Prep it would not mean he's fearing me; he'd be rather protecting himself, and that's his right.

[hntnhole]

12 hours ago, Bbpally said:

However, I also don't want to get HIV.  In fact I'm quite scared of it. 

As you should be. Therefore, by all means get on PReP.  It's your body, it's your future, so protect both by protecting yourself.  You'll pick up bugs along the way, of course, but they're treatable.  No one else lives in your body but you - which means you get to make the rules about it; not anyone else. 

And then, line them up around the block and take oceans of Sperm up that hot Hole !!!

[VersGuyAnon]

If he's up for the gangbang scenario, it's a perfect link to discuss PrEP.  Also the fact you say your relationship has been open at times. He shouldn't be surprised. In fact, he should be grateful you're being responsible about it all.

[BootmanLA]

13 hours ago, hotguy02 said:

My top is strictly against me getting on prep.  He is poz undetectable. N told me there was no need bc he's the only one I swallow or get bred by

Just be aware you are placing 100% of  your health risk in his hands. He could choose not to stay on meds without telling you. His meds could become ineffective at some point without him knowing, or without telling you if he does know. You might get raped at some point by someone who is both positive and detectable.

This is all in addition to the fact that (in my view) someone who is that controlling over your being in charge of your own health is a huge red flag. Yes, lots of bottoms, especially sub ones, fantasize about being controlled by someone, even 24/7. But a thoughtful, considerate dom/top should, in my view, be so protective of his bottom/sub's health that he PREFERS him to be on PrEP.

[BootmanLA]

For the OP: I am strongly pro-PrEP, but I can understand the concern you have.

If your relationship is currently closed, saying that you want to be on PrEP is almost like saying "I plan to open this relationship back up, whether or not we actually discuss it". Or, if his insecurities run another direction, it might be like saying "He thinks I'm going to cheat on him and end up infecting him."

If your relationship is currently open, and you haven't discussed PrEP, it sounds like he expects you to use condoms outside the relationship.

Either way: People in a relationship need to be able to talk about things like this. If you can't, that's a sign of a bigger problem than whether you should be on PrEP or not. 

[BootmanLA]

13 hours ago, CumNMeDC said:

Just fuck and have fun.  Don’t worry about it. If you get HIV so be it. Why have a conversation about prep anyway. 

Why not load a revolver with a couple of bullets, spin the barrel, and fire it at your torso? Don't worry about it. If you hit your heart or a major artery so be it. Why have a conversation about guns anwyay?

You see how stupid this sounds. At least I hope you do.

[drscorpio]

If you are having sex outside your relationship even with condoms, you should be on PrEP to protect against broken condoms and/or tops who do not respect your decision to stay negative. Your partner should support that. 
Barebacking outside the relationship is another issue. I am guessing he probably knows how much you get off on cum. Use your words; tell him what you want. 

[Bbpally]

2 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

For the OP: I am strongly pro-PrEP, but I can understand the concern you have.

If your relationship is currently closed, saying that you want to be on PrEP is almost like saying "I plan to open this relationship back up, whether or not we actually discuss it". Or, if his insecurities run another direction, it might be like saying "He thinks I'm going to cheat on him and end up infecting him."

If your relationship is currently open, and you haven't discussed PrEP, it sounds like he expects you to use condoms outside the relationship.

Either way: People in a relationship need to be able to talk about things like this. If you can't, that's a sign of a bigger problem than whether you should be on PrEP or not. 

This is a good point, especially the last paragraph.  Thank you!   

 

I am comfortable enough with him and secure enough to have this discussion.  I just tend to be awkward and blurt out things at the exact wrong time.  And I want to be sensitive to his feelings too, so hence I was asking for others experiences to prep for any stumbling blocks. 

 

Thanks for the comments!

[Bbpally]

2 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

Why not load a revolver with a couple of bullets, spin the barrel, and fire it at your torso? Don't worry about it. If you hit your heart or a major artery so be it. Why have a conversation about guns anwyay?

You see how stupid this sounds. At least I hope you do.

Yeah... That's exactly what I was thinking when I read his comment.  

 

No shame on his own kinks. But it was exactly the opposite of my own and my request with the thread. 

[Bbpally]

1 hour ago, drscorpio said:

If you are having sex outside your relationship even with condoms, you should be on PrEP to protect against broken condoms and/or tops who do not respect your decision to stay negative. Your partner should support that. 
Barebacking outside the relationship is another issue. I am guessing he probably knows how much you get off on cum. Use your words; tell him what you want. 

Fantastic advice.  I will do and I'll update the thread!