Neg not on Prep but considering playing with U+

[hntnhole]

13 hours ago, cumaddict619 said:

This is a sincere post...

Welcome, cumaddict619

Here's a sincere reply:

You don't mention whether or not you've taken the necessary preventative steps to avoid serious illness.  Since you've been exercising your Lusts for 10 years, it's difficult to believe that you haven't taken loads off "u+" guys, and plenty of them.  In the event you're not on PReP, by all means get on it. You can get it through the mail, if that's important to you.  Get tested for the other, marginally less-serious bugs out there, and do that regularly.  Most of the suppliers require a 3-month regimen, but monthly testing can catch bugs earlier, get them treated, which is all for the better. 

Since you're in San Diego, I'm guessing that a rich banquet of Seafaring Rawfuckers will be a large and steady portion of your sexual diet.  Keep us apprised of your adventures !!!

[NWUSHorny]

You need to get on PREP, even if you are screening based on status you risk getting unintentionally pozzed by someone like me. I was on the apps as a versatile top, and a negative status thinking that I was mitigating my risk by not bottoming bareback or taking any loads, which worked for many years until it didn't. I know I was fucking and breeding guys right up to the weekend before I found out I was poz and would not have found out for several more months had they not been running a battery of tests after a cancer diagnosis. I never intentionally pozzed anyone and regret that their is even a chance that I did, but the reality is I was more than happy to stick my dick in almost any bottom that wanted it.

[BootmanLA]

Just a couple of thoughts to add to this.

First, it's not just hiding the meds themselves that is an issue for some married/partnered men whose wives don't know. There's also the question of insurance; while most people's insurance covers PrEP (assuming the courts eventually uphold the preventative care mandate), itemized insurance paperwork can and does come to people's houses, and in some families the wife's in charge of all that paperwork stuff. Even if the husband's in charge, there's no guarantee she won't see the records at some point.

Second, while it's technically true that taking a load from an undetectable guy is just as safe, statistically, as being on PrEP, there is a difference.  When you're on PrEP, you're taking charge of your sexual health. When you rely on your partners to be undetectable, you're putting THEM in charge of your sexual health. And over the long haul, in my experience, something that personal really needs to be something YOU are in charge of, because sooner or later you may end up putting the wrong person in charge of it.

So, sorry to say, there's no perfect answer for how a man who's married to a woman can (A) have receptive unprotected sex (B) with a range of guys you don't know (C) while remaining healthy yourself and (D) protecting your wife while (E) she never finds out about it. It's not that you CAN'T have all five things happen in your life at once; it's just that it's very hard to find all of them at once and increasing the odds for one may decrease the odds for another.

For instance, going on PrEP protects your health and your wife's health (ensuring C and D), but decreases the odds that you can keep it 100% secret (decreasing the odds of E). Restricting yourself to U+ guys lowers the amount of sex you may have (lowering A and B) but boosts (C) and (D), though not as high as PrEP, but you have a greater shot of keeping (E) in place.

And so on. It's a balancing act, and one I don't envy married guys who like dick for. But ultimately, life is a series of choices, and these choices all stem from the initial choice to marry a woman and not disclose that you're getting fucked by men on the side. You pays your money and you takes your chances, as the saying goes.

[hntnhole]

I'm not sure if this is applicable to the "discovery" issue, but ......

Can a guy get the mail-order services to send the kits/medications to a P.O. Box?  If that's possible, it would at least mitigate the risks of the missus finding out.  Keeping all that material at a different location than at home would at least be some added protection of privacy.  I'm not commenting on the moral issue; that's no one's business but the OP's.  But it may take some of the risk of discovery out of the picture.  

(btw .... "OP" means the composer of the Original Post), right ???)

[Guest]

16 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

Just a couple of thoughts to add to this.

First, it's not just hiding the meds themselves that is an issue for some married/partnered men whose wives don't know. There's also the question of insurance; while most people's insurance covers PrEP (assuming the courts eventually uphold the preventative care mandate), itemized insurance paperwork can and does come to people's houses, and in some families the wife's in charge of all that paperwork stuff. Even if the husband's in charge, there's no guarantee she won't see the records at some point.

Second, while it's technically true that taking a load from an undetectable guy is just as safe, statistically, as being on PrEP, there is a difference.  When you're on PrEP, you're taking charge of your sexual health. When you rely on your partners to be undetectable, you're putting THEM in charge of your sexual health. And over the long haul, in my experience, something that personal really needs to be something YOU are in charge of, because sooner or later you may end up putting the wrong person in charge of it.

So, sorry to say, there's no perfect answer for how a man who's married to a woman can (A) have receptive unprotected sex (B) with a range of guys you don't know (C) while remaining healthy yourself and (D) protecting your wife while (E) she never finds out about it. It's not that you CAN'T have all five things happen in your life at once; it's just that it's very hard to find all of them at once and increasing the odds for one may decrease the odds for another.

For instance, going on PrEP protects your health and your wife's health (ensuring C and D), but decreases the odds that you can keep it 100% secret (decreasing the odds of E). Restricting yourself to U+ guys lowers the amount of sex you may have (lowering A and B) but boosts (C) and (D), though not as high as PrEP, but you have a greater shot of keeping (E) in place.

And so on. It's a balancing act, and one I don't envy married guys who like dick for. But ultimately, life is a series of choices, and these choices all stem from the initial choice to marry a woman and not disclose that you're getting fucked by men on the side. You pays your money and you takes your chances, as the saying goes.

I really like the statistical approach you took here and as horny as one can be, i am a firm believer in realistic common sense approaches like you've stated. Thank you for the thoughtful comment, it's opening more perspectives and realities 🙂

[maxdick23]

I was on prep and taken loads from two poz men who were detectable and have continued to remain negitive.  So if they are undetectable there will be no worries. 

[drscorpio]

On 7/1/2023 at 1:55 PM, hntnhole said:

(btw .... "OP" means the composer of the Original Post), right ???)

Yes, that is correct in essence. OP stands for "Original Poster."
 

[Kimberley]

If u taken bare loads it's difficult to say what type of guys you going to get in ur ass.. what i have learn is that men lie a lot about their status. in the beginning of being a bareback cumdump when i started taken PrEP i always asked if they were clean, but really soon i ended up with 3 STDs. so asking wasn't working and i just stopped to ask and accepted the fact that i get infected men in my ass. 1 thing is for sure, i have had more POZ cocks in my ass then i will ever know.. undetected and toxic.

[Hard1]

On 6/28/2023 at 11:10 PM, cumaddict619 said:

I just recently joined BBRTS and there are so many sexy U+ and Poz guys on there. Im also on Sniffies and Squirt. I've been a slut for many years but have become a total bottom perverted whore in the last 10 years. I'm seriously considering playing with U+ guys, but I am hesitant because I'm married with kids. Does anyone have experience taking loads from undetectable guys and not getting poz? This is a sincere post...not BS

Your own risk profile is your guide.

If you trust a guy to tell you his status, U=U

Have fun.

[BootmanLA]

On 8/10/2023 at 1:25 AM, Kimberley said:

If u taken bare loads it's difficult to say what type of guys you going to get in ur ass.. what i have learn is that men lie a lot about their status. in the beginning of being a bareback cumdump when i started taken PrEP i always asked if they were clean, but really soon i ended up with 3 STDs. so asking wasn't working and i just stopped to ask and accepted the fact that i get infected men in my ass. 1 thing is for sure, i have had more POZ cocks in my ass then i will ever know.. undetected and toxic.

I don't mean this to sound too critical, but part of the problem may be the use of the word "clean". 

I realize that not everyone thinks this through, but when it's used to mean "no active STI's", it implies that anyone who has an STI is "dirty". For a long time, people used it primarily to mean "HIV-negative", but the offensiveness of taking that to its logical conclusion - HIV-positive men are "dirty" - has helped stamp that out.

It's better to be direct: "I've recently been tested clear of any STI's. How about you?" That's a non-judgmental way to ask for the information you're looking for. Of course, guys may well still lie, but that's a different issue.

[hntnhole]

On 8/10/2023 at 1:27 AM, drscorpio said:

Yes, that is correct in essence. OP stands for "Original Poster."

Thanks, drscorpio.  

[mick1994]

My ex boyfriend was poz. He was on meds and generally undetectable, and we played it bb for like 5 years. Still, during the pandemic, there was a period when he ran off his meds, and he couldn't get more of it. So we had unprotected sex everyday, i didn't care back then... he had a VL of 150k copies.  Anyway, I'm still neg. God knows why. 

You can fuck bb with undetectable guys. But it's always a risk, since they may be lying to you. Once you do so, you know you're putting your health at risk. 

[PigFaggot2904]

On 6/30/2023 at 9:19 PM, BootmanLA said:

There's also the question of insurance; while most people's insurance covers PrEP (assuming the courts eventually uphold the preventative care mandate), itemized insurance paperwork can and does come to people's houses, and in some families the wife's in charge of all that paperwork stuff. Even if the husband's in charge, there's no guarantee she won't see the records at some point.

Here's my experience with insurance paperwork, which is United Healthcare with Optum Rx as the required mail-order pharmacy for "maintenance medication"--meds taken regularly, like PrEP.   

For the initial prescription fill, my provider can send the "script" to Optum electronically--and not all can--but that uses my address on file with the clinic.  I have never asked, but my provider may also be able to specify a different shipping address (including PO box) when sending the prescription.  Alternatively, I could ask for a signed paper "script" from the provider, then separately download & print the "new prescription" forms from Optum, specify a different shipping address when filling out the forms, and mail it in.  I have online access, however so I use that (more on that below). 

So that was the initial fill, then after that, when I order refills, I can continue to specify an alternative shipping address. 

As for the paperwork: 

--The medication names themselves are only displayed on the prescription invoice from Optum Rx, which come with the medication shipment. 

--As for Explanation of Benefits aka EOB (which United Healthcare sends), those are always sent to the employee's "primary address" address on file with their employer.  The itemized EOB only says "Prescription Drugs", although that could still lead to questions.   HOWEVER, they are allowed to send EOB's and other required communications electronically--so one could "opt in" to that; an email notification would be sent to a specified email address, when a new document was available, and no more paper mail!

...which leads me to online access & electronic documents/notifications, which I actively use for viewing my insurance records with UHC & managing my prescriptions with Optum Rx:   ***HIPAA rules apply.***  You can access only your own information electronically, you choose where email notifications are sent, and your spouse can't view your online information.  In some sites, you can give consent to share.  On other sites, the only way to share your protected health info is to print copies (either paper or PDF).  

I realize that insurance is vastly different across the country (e.g. not everyone has to use mail order pharmacy, not everyone has regular internet/email/computer/printer access, some may find online access too confusing, some may prefer paper copies, etc.), and this is may be a vastly simple scenario, but something for OP @cumaddict619 to consider. 

[Guest]

Damn I've had 3 really hot U+ guys hit me up on BBRTS in the past week. I've been conversing with them. I'm so horned up and shooting huge loads thinking about them. Im seriously close to hooking up with them. I've been in serious heat lately, insanely horny, so thats not helping. 

[jagmanaz]

Seems, risk-however low is what makes it hot for some guys.  Get on Prep and status much lower priority question.  Other STI's more an issue.  Doxy-PEP now standard for that as well.