cam1972
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Websites and hookup online sites (question)
cam1972 replied to hungtopinky's topic in General Discussion
BBRT is a no go for me. In my area, at least, most of the guys on it are neg and state in their profiles that they wil only have sex with neg guys. I think that is a little naive of them. The poz guys in my area have pretty much abandoned it. I've had one hook up off of BBRT in the four(?) years I've been on it. Scruff, tho...... I've had a lot of success with scruff. I agree with exhibbottomslut. Far less judgment on there and more guys who aren't the cookie cutter ken dolls that tend to be on grindr that base everything on looks or insist on condoms. I've had better luck on scruff than any other site. Including A4A. -
Fucking hot! Great story. Can't wait for more. Fuuuck....
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Fuuuuuuuuuuck! So damn hot! I'm really, really hoping you don't stop here. So fucking hot!
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Your first statement can't be proven. You can't pretend to know intent or motive behind me saying I wasn't being judgmental. So I will give you the intent. I did not want my statements misconstrued as judgmental. I'm sure you've noticed some like to read into things on sites like this. I've agreed with a lot of your posts, but your statement is broad, at best. And entirely wrong when it came to my statement. In fact, that very statement of yours was judgmental. Why should I judge? I really truly don't give a damn what others do as long as it's legal and consensual. It's their lives. Not mine. As far as someone finding someone else in a closed relationship, I'm not naive enough to believe it doesn't happen in closed relationships. Hell. It's happened to me. I was purely stating facts given to me by an individual who has spent 33 years counseling same sex couples and has found this to be the case. Does it always happen across the world? No. I said that I'm sure there are successful open relationships. I did not say ALL fail. I was speaking to her experience. Why I stated her statistics and my friend's situation was to explain why I would not do it. Nothing more. Nothing less.
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I knew you weren't being defensive. I meant that you are an example of why I said that. And I agree. Sometimes the handwriting is on the wall. In bold print. All caps. It's tough to move past those "bad endings" isn't it? I'm finding the longer I remain single and turn down opportunities, the larger my fear becomes. But I do know this much: I don't want to be in my 70's and on some hook up site looking for sex. Or just some companionship. If it comes to that...... Just shoot me.
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This is why I said "I'm not saying there haven't been successful open relationships ever." I'm just saying for myself, I don't think I could do it. .Congrats on your relationship and marriage. He's a lucky man.
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I, personally, would never do an open relationship. This is in no way a judgment. Rather based on what I've seen and heard. When I was diagnosed with HIV, I went to a therapist who worked primarily with gay people. She is a lesbian. She told me that in the 25 years (this was in 2007), she had been a therapist, she had counceled countless couples. In those 25 years, not one relationship that was open had survived. No matter whenever the open relationship status occurred. Whether they had been together 0 months when they started an open relationship or 25 years when they started. A friend of mine and his partner of 35 years started an open relationship 5 years ago. I told him then what she had told me. He told me that he and his partner had been together since high school and would never fall out of love. I watched them drift apart over the last five years til this past January my friend told me the relationship was over because a hook up for his partner had become something more. I'm not saying there haven't been successful open relationships ever. But I don't like those odds. It's already tough for a relationship to survive. Why add another element to make it more difficult? For me, I would rather stay single if I wanted multiple partners or more sex than a relationship may afford than to risk the man I love for some meaningless sex. As I said, I want my next relationship to be THE relationship. None is perfect. It takes work and compromise. But I'm willing to give that. 100%. But it will have to be a very special man. I won't settle. Oh... And for that fuck bud scenario..... I've struggled with that too. Biting my tongue. Lol I hear ya.
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I'm not good at hook ups. I do them, but most times feel more lonely after the sex than I did before. I've looked for relationships in the past. But.... After too many flakes and disappointments, I am not necessarily looking for it. Because I'm having serious doubts that anyone truly wants it. I've heard too many times "I don't want just sex. I want a relationship" but they always stick around long enough to get sex out of me then disappear. I am kind of along the same lines of NLbear.. Not sure I'm relationship material anymore. But for a different reason. I think I'm too jaded. But I'd sure as hell love to give it a try again. But... I'm not looking for the next relationship. If I am looking at all... It's for THE relationship. The ultimate. Romance and all.
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I apologize for coming across as harsh. I sincerely did not mean it that way. Intent and tone of voice can't be heard in typed messages. I should have worded it differently. For that I do apologize. I feel for you. I DO know what it's like to love someone who doesn't treat me with the respect I deserve. I've had that partner that has lowered the screen of the computer every time I've walked by. Deleted the browser history and cookies. I've had him be nice to me in front of people and horrible to me when alone. Or treat me badly in front of my friends and act like there's no one else on the planet when we are alone. So I feel for you. I know where you are coming from. I stayed.... Until I couldn't take the cheating that soon followed. And even tho I chose to leave, I left feeling much less of a man than when I met him. While I didn't move to another country for him, I did move to another state. Packing up my belongings and moving back home was humbling, to say the least. One of my friends keeps running into him every now and then. Every time I hear that she has, memories that I wish I didn't have come flooding back. She saw him this week. And I'm not gonna lie. I ached all over when she told me and I have tears in my eyes as I type this. For some dumbass reason, I still give a fuck. And I wish to... whoever.... that I didn't. So........ No harshness was intended. I just know how the mind works when it comes to loving someone who doesn't treat you as you should be treated. That was why I said what I said. I'm so sorry it came across harshly. Truly.
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I am of the belief the original poster's mind already knew what choice he would make before he posted. I'm not saying this to be unkind at all. I think he was hoping he would find support for his choice. Even tho he hasn't, I can see his mind is still made up to stay. All I can say is.... I hope you don't have too many emotional scars and regrets once it does end. And it will end. If you won't end it, he will. When he's had enough fun with his mind games and wants to try something new with someone else. But the cost to you? Priceless. Damn shame. He's not worth a penny.
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I read the question again and thought of an answer.... What is the right way? Any way a man chooses to come. Bottom or top.
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I'm with jaybird... I prefer the scorpion over the biohazard any day. Not that I'll turn down a guy with a biohazard symbol.. But the scorpion is damn sexy.
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Some of the piggiest men I've met aren't into scat. That's one of the fetishes that DEFINITELY should be discussed and not just done. I would have been pissed. Count yourself lucky if he just walked away. I'm with drscorpio. That's a rude and inconsiderate act. It may be "boring" to you to have to discuss what will happen, but it's not just about you. All the men there are there to have a good time. You took that away from him. Not a nice thing to do.
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I agree with everything you said and would agree with you on this except for one thing: his boyfriend denies the fact he's on there. That is a HUGE red flag. If he's on there for the same reasons you are, why deny it? He should own it like you do.
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Something to consider..... Side effects of castration and treatment you will need: Without Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), typical symptoms (similar to those experienced by menopausal women) include hot flashes; gradual bone-density loss, resulting in osteopenia or osteoporosis; potential weight gain or redistribution of body fat to the hips/chest. Replacement of testosterone in the form of gel, patches, or injections can largely reverse these effects, although breast enlargement has also been reported as a possible side effect of testosterone usage
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I've already said I use Bing. And still do. Google may be all pro gay and that, but they are far too intrusive in gathering data compared to Bing. Privacy is pretty much going out the window with the internet as it is, but I'll hold on to every last vestage I have of it. I'll stick with Bing.
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I'm with pupslut. Bring back the groups. After the site change, that has been the thing I've missed the most. That way you get discussion with guys who have the exact same interest. And get why you like what you like. Have several fetishes? Join each group that fits and discuss the hell out of what you enjoy about it. Yeah... Bring those back. As far as Zoom is concerned, I've never had luck on there. In the group chats I've done, 9 times out of 10, as soon as the hottest guy in the room leaves, the webcast gets shut down. This is tongue in cheek (not that cheek), but there may be something to that last option you can click on about narcicism....
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First off, you shouldn't be blaming yourself for his selfish, despicable behavior. Your fault for showing you care a lot about him?? That NEVER should result in bad behavior from him. The response should be positive instead. Feeling sad and alone to the point of feeling numb? Never acceptable in a relationship. Speaking from experience (I have a feeling most guys who have responded are doing also), things are never going to improve. They never do in these situations. Yeah... He might "change" if he finds out you are leaving, but don't fall for that. He will fall back into those patterns soon after. I say this with concern and kindness: Quit making excuses for him and get the hell out of there. Seriously. The things I endured because I just wouldn't listen to those who saw what I didn't want to see...... Still impact my life. Don't make the same mistake.
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I don't know that bully is the correct word to use... More like.... uncaring, rude, two faced and........ Not right for you. He won't be right for anyone til he figures out that it's not all about him. Why waste your time on someone who disrespects you? No amount of love you have towards him negates any of his actions. Move on. It may hurt now, but you'll be very glad you did when you realize how much better you feel about yourself. We can give all the advice we have til we are blue in the face, but it all comes down to you making that choice. But in my opinion, the sooner, the better.
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I've had it done to me. On many occasion. I've also had trouble walking the next day or two. But there's something about giving that control to the top that gets me off. I become very hard when it's done to me. I have a high tolerance for pain, so maybe that's why I can get off on it.
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I know what it's like to really want someone and to want them to love me. I'm sure most guys on here do. Even tho they didn't treat me right, I made every excuse in the book for them. But in the end, all I came away with was a broken heart. And a bruised ego. I can tell by your response to others that you are in that position. "Well.. He does this because...... And it showed him on one but not the other.... " I really do get it. You really like the guy. But, stud, you deserve so much more than what he is giving you. I don't think all of these guys can be wrong. I know one said that it's your choice, and he is right. But you did get on here and ask our opinions. Please don't take them lightly. A lot of voices of experience speaking to you on here. Don't ignore them. There's someone who will treat you like the incredible person you are. Don't pass up a future opportunity for someone who isn't being honest with you. My grandmother used to say... "It's better to be single than to wish you were." I know in my last relationship, there were too many times I wished I had been single. So I'm in no rush to be in a relationship. Don't make that mistake. Don't settle.
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Same here. But always want him to keep on fucking me even if I have come before he has. Need his load(s).
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This early on in the relationship and this is happening.... Run as fast as you can and don't look back. It's only going to go downhill from here. He's telling someone else that they are the only one he's talking to.... He's a player. If he is stressing you out now, think how it will be in the future. Seems to be a total lack of respect for you. You deserve better. Especially given your past experiences. Find someone who values you. He's not relationship material in my opinion.
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I have been respectful in all of my postings. I even told you I respected your opinion. This is posted in General DISCUSSIONS. That means that topics are to be discussed. A forum where everyone can give their opinions. Respectfully tho. A question was asked at the beginning of this thread. That opens it to anyone who has an opinion on the subject. And all he will get is opinions. Because no one can make a blanket statement about everyone feeling the same way. That's fact. What some may find as shameful and humiliating may be a fucking joy for others. No shame. No humiliation. You don't have to agree with me. I am perfectly fine with that. I don't agree with everyone on everything on this site, but I am respectful of their opinions. I'm as much of a pig as the next guy. Almost. I do have my limits. I'm not on here to be a wet blanket. I'm just having an adult discussion with adults. If everyone were to be cookie cutter copies of everyone else and thought the same as everyone else, this would be a boring site. I learned a long time ago that not everyone is going to agree with me. That's life. And that's ok. I'm not always right. Never claimed to be. But I am not going to let that keep me from giving my opinion when I so desire. I will be respectful in doing so tho. As should everyone.........
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The general consensus is that tops are superior to bottom cumdumps? Damn... I must have missed the day this was discussed in class. That and that I should feel some level of shame and humiliation. No top is superior to me. No bottom is superior to me. At the end of the day, we are equally human beings and sexual beings. I fuck for the pleasure AND to get the load. I let the top do what he wants. Giving him pleasure fulfills me. I feel no shame or humiliation in that fact. In fact, I revel in the pleasure of being a bottom. Feeling shame and humiliation would imply I'm doing something wrong by allowing a man inside me. That argument goes against every equal rights war that has been fought. While I respect your opinion, I politely disagree with your statements. Except the last one. Every top should respect the bottom and show them they do indeed have worth. Just as much as the top, I might add.