PozTalkAuthor

Take the first step, as I told you; stop feeling "wrong", happiness is just around the corner! No step can be taken till you judge yourself badly, self-stigma is worse than everything else

That's what I hardly understand but I guess homophobia and stigma have their relevant part on this kind of choices. That said, I respect everyone and just say there's no need of being verbally rude at all, self-determination also means to respect choices we'd never make and not judge people who never need to be judged as, if one has got (consciously) the decision to get poz, there's nothing we can do to discourage them - especially in case it comes from a couple. Makes no sense to really poz someone when science supports and role play give us infinite thrill, and yes, I'd suggest to explore role playing! But not get poz in real.

it's a mutual licking each other and I am also attempting to train him to take my toe in his hole and squeeze it

your fault my bf is starting to explore footplay with me

Open relationship and both of us sharing partners. Possibly threesome if they're all up to it. No cheat for me - I want to share experience with my fully consenting bf who's not completely ready right now but let's guess what summer is bringing to us! Monogamy as temporary phase? Who knows?

"Do you like to be poz?" The instant, rude answer is NO. Being able to decide in a different way, I'd have decided to stay neg! But Prep was not that accessible yet, then. And most monogamous couples make condomless love. Risky? Yes, but no one can blame people for this as no one thinks to have a ltr with a serial cheater. I like my life for what it is NOW! Being Undetectable Untransmittable, having a wonderful boyfriend and job, having had no relevant stigma events from people I came out with... Yes, life (even sex life) is much better and more comfortable than 10 years ago but I'd lie to the world telling that it's thanks to my virus. Satisfaction and happiness I have now, come from a very hard journey which includes also depression, self-stigma, even suicide thoughts, and an abusive relationship lasted till a year ago too. Years where my status was the first fact I considered whenever I decided to make a new friend, for example. Fuckbuddy or not; I assumed monogamy was a closed chapter, then... I have taken wrong decision due to my self-stigma, and how my abusive ex manipulated my mind... thanks to my status, again. And our mutual poz fetish. The guilt I felt when it was dealing with "undetectable untransmittable" experimented on my ex's life and mine, relief after his neg tests, when he insisted on making me stop meds, my fake acceptance (i just changed timetable and meds place) as he thought a conversion could seal a deteriorating relationship, that was the boost I needed to finally decide "have a little more respect on yourself and send this rubbish away". From a medical perspective, HIV has not been a big issue, I can say it; but socially and psychologically it's been a real mess which I won't wish to anyone. Other people say they've no regrets, they are happy of it and looked for it, yes. It's possible because reaction depends on your own journey! Although I'd never tell anyone "go out and get pozzed to set yourself free" without saying what the disadvantages are. I just say, be aware of everything and decide for yourself, NEVER allow others to decide for your life.

Yeah, takes a lot of effort, to write stories! And sometimes we simply aren't in the mood to!

damned geek here, but I did not know this stuff. I'll go through it and read its terms and conditions carefully before making any choices. I don't like those Telegram or other stuff (for sex/poztalk related conversations) except for my bf of course, because they're associated to my real phone numbers and having to pay an extra-number just for chatting dirty, no! Not my thing! Am I a secret agent or whatever? No, I want to act in the safest way possible! I'm a fanatic of computer safety then I talk about unprotected sex... I'm a living paradox I know! As I also know telegram allows to add my real number. But no...I prefer not! And I'll look to study this "session". Thanks for having let me know its existence.

Do what your heart suggests to do... Sorry I can't suggest you a book or movie with LGBT love in mind right now, try with a bait at a time and, as I told you in other place, you should search for a gay/LGBT association to confront with, in your area. Given many subjects discussed on this community, I'm not sure Breeding Zone is the best thing for someone who has questions on his real feelings. Let's say it's like you want to try spices and you start with the strongest Mexican meal LOL

Many times in this post you ask "what's wrong with me?" This is the horrible culture we're grown up: only thing socially recognized about sexuality is "find a girl, settle down, get married and have kids" cutting all the rest off but do you want to hear a news? NOTHING is wrong, except things done without consent or full conscience (minors, animals, abuse of vulnerable people)... That stuff is wrong and thankfully law punishes it, but sexuality is so fucking complex! You have never looked at men before? And, what if I tell you that you're maybe in a phase of life where you're realizing your true self, your true desire? I'm smiling when reading this post as, well, I'm almost 20 years older than you and my current partner is 53. But listen... I am happy with my sexuality, I don't dislike women but I prefer men for the most. And him? We've been co-workers and best friends for 12 years. We were already adults when we met at work almost 13 years ago, I was in a monogamous relationship with so-called "mr. right" who turned into "mr. asshole" as soon as I caught him cheating on me and then he gave me HIV. Well, I always had felt something for my co-worker, but he was engaged to his girl! I was next to him when he thought to have impregnated her -thankfully fake alarm-; he was next to me when I tested HIV positive and broke up with mr. asshole... Looking back, it was clear his relationship couldn't work well as he jumped from a bed to another and he confessed his fears of AIDS to me... Despite it he continued with risky sex... 12 years spent with me thinking he was inaccessible due to his marriage, him probably thinking I was such because of my HIV status... We spent years as best friends, with him asking me questions, confident explicit questions about "how it is freeing to cum in an ass without fear to impregnate" and then going a step backwards "oops you might have something worse to give a man" with that I explained about Prep, about "undetectable untransmittable", I threw the bait towards him, but he made two steps backwards then! I fell into an abusive relationship in that period. Things changed when he found confirmation to his suspicion: his wife had (and has always had) another man. What to do, what not to do, no kids were involved, he hadn't never wanted to become father. So, making story short, our sexual confidence started with a bet once we worked from home, soon after I kicked my latest abusive ex. "the loser strips naked" then a cuddle led to another. And yes, when he told me "I love you" for the first time, he exploded in tears and said "it's all wrong, we shouldn't"... And I replied "you just should get divorced, let your wife live the life she wants, and you live yours". Without kids and with his wife's consent to split, it has been quite easy. An already split couple who had to confirm it legally - it has happened many times to meet her with her new partner, another woman, with another smile. What to suggest you for your case? If you're really best friends, well, throw the bait using general issues, eventually talking about a movie regarding a love affair between men, try to explore his thoughts, to talk about friendships turning into love, well, I don't know you but go one step at a time. Avoiding him, is worse! Thinking about wives and kids? It's not the time yet! Because if you discover he's scaringly homophobic, your hope could be lost. Or at least you should study it because homophobia might mean repressed homosexuality. I'm not a psy, I'm a computer worker! And, I'm partnered with a guy who said "oh fuck, I had to arrive at 53 to discover what real love means! I'm 53 with many sex experiences and I knew nothing about sex..." You're 30 and in time to yet grow up sexually LOL!!! Good luck, seriously.

Up for it whenever you want! That's why I wrote "a book" -LOL- on profile; so people don't create expectations or misunderstandings. Honestly the main reason why I came here was to write dirtier stories than the one I build elsewhere. But then I understood to be "out of target", mainly guys here have other tastes, and I never want to force others to read what they're not interested in or they simply don't understand.

I'm one of those guys who's here for dirty chat and I wrote it clearly on profile; it's a game lasting the time of chat, and can be interrupted whenever, it's not the first time a guy chats me then disappears, no offense towards me, they're in full right to do this as no one owes anything to each other, unless specified otherwise. Some buddies here enjoy sexting, occasionally we discuss, but stop! If I have a life? Yes, a job keeping me busy and tired, and I have A very satisfying relationship with my bf. "What do you sext with others for"... To have fun for myself which disconnects my mind temporarily during pauses from work, to have something spicy to turn my bf and me on, no one has the right to judge why and when one person decides to chat/roleplay! Communication is key, when someone's up to chat with me they do, if they don't like my approach they don't, nothing more, nothing less. And yes, I generally take this site/inbox to chat dirty with internet buddy because using notifications-driven apps then drive me crazy, I'm already over-stressed on those for work reasons so, if I have few minutes to have fun with sexting I do, otherwise who gives a damn! Honestly I don't care about what people think of fantasy chats; I've embraced them, I enjoy them only with people agreeing, I would never bother anyone.

This time the doubter is me! I started it supposing it to be a quite short one, then connection between characters didn't work as expected, the project I had in mind vanished due to some personal issues, too bad treating my readers like this but failures can happen! First time I left a story without completion was the one I started writing with my ex and I left it incomplete after our breakup. Do I think to write other stories? Who knows! It's the same answer I give to guys asking me if I convert my bf to poz: "nothing can be excluded in life".

Let Elias tell the truth and become aware of his place... Pozzing process starts from next chapter (always if HIV agrees, obviously). --- Chapter 5, Elias: the truth My father's sexual appetite seemed permanently gone; what a disaster I was, even my own dad refused me! And now he brought up that matter of Ian? "I can never replace daddy Ian", I cried aloud; laying face down on my father's big bed, I was dripping tears on the pillow case and couldn't stop. I reached down with my hand, touching my locked dick and stared at dad: "please", I begged; "take this away!" "Listen, boy!" His tone became firm, and he grabbed my wrist pulling me towards him. He held something metallic in his free hand! With a quick movement, he fastened something to my neck. It was a metal collar, with a "forbidden" sign engraved on it, and a small hole on a side; no way for me to remove it! I stared at the big mirror on the wall studying my smooth, naked, collared body; "say what you are", my father commanded; "say it aloud!" "I'm your son", I replied. "Your boy..." I stopped, noticing a camera hanging from the ceiling and focused on me. "I'm your little innocent boy, but please..." "Please nothing!" He forced my arm behind my back till it hurt, I was obliged to turn around, fearing him to make me wear handcuffs, or worse. "If your conscience is clean, you should have nothing to cry for! But my virus told me..." That damned story, once again; dad Ian told me about that smart HIV virus able to talk while both my mothers said it was a prank related to Ian's speaking electronic devices. But dad Adrian always promised he'd never lie to me; and what to say now, if I talked further I could betray myself! I wanted to go downstairs, to my room, and erase all data from smartphone and smartwatch. "Eli", dad encouraged me; "now you're grown up enough to know all the story! You have no idea how much our HIV loves you, he wants to protect us... He told me dad Ian was in trouble and I ran there, but it was too late..." Why was he insisting on the subject! My face seemed on fire and I massaged my cheeks hoping to calm down; the moment had come! "It's my fault... My own fucking fault..." Needless to cry, dad was in "cop mode" and instead of looking at me, he took his tablet from the desk and opened a video. There it was, the day of Ian's accident. "Do you really think I was born yesterday?" he yelled at me, but I was concentrated on the video, showing the scene in slow motion. "Your classmates confessed it all and I have the recording you shared with them! Do you think you could go so far, boy?" Yes, my face was unmistakeable while I was making fun of Ian, together with my buddies. "I have arrested them", he then explained; "eighteen years old and already drug dealers? I had to stop them! And stop you. Take your own responsibilities son, or I'll never give you the gift of manhood." "Who could guess what happened then", I continued crying aloud, eyes still concentrated on the video. It was clearly showing Ian running by himself, carrying no white cane! He felt comfortable like he was seeing, but in slow motion it was clear his eyes were closed as usual. "It's not your fault", my dad said stopping the video before I could see the rest; "your friends chased him and... He was concentrated on them, so, he didn't realize the virus was warning him about the arriving bus." "I just wanted to be loved..." No longer reasons to keep the secret, it was clear my class mates had no interest on me. "Jake and Blake, they said I'm only a little fag, and I had to prove them I was a man, humiliating someone weaker than me..." "Finally you decided to talk to me", he seemed relieved now. "I am the only to decide if you are or aren't a man! And if you degrade someone, especially your family, you're just a little... Meaningless..." Without warning, he pushed two dry fingers in my ass, causing me pain. "...Faggot! Do you want to be a man? Perfect. Learn to be a good fag before! And not to degrade others!"

It's 12 years we know each other so communication has had time to evolve. It hasn't been, and isn't, easy. But we also prefer to have hard argues rather than finding ourselves suddenly like two strangers, given also that we work together. So, one wrong step might lead to break everything down! I've had enough experience from the past, that repressing or hiding something, causes frustration. And how glad we are to read posts here, watch videos,listen to podcasts, even about topics we're not into. Including chems, including watersports (things I'm not into at all). Think that my bf was serophobic before. He was afraid to try something with me, because he was scared by the idea of losing me. So, he stayed with an unloved woman. And now we play poztalk even exchanging roles. This whole topic has been the discussion subject for the entire day. If there's something turning me off and making me angry? The idea some guys here have: forcing things to induce someone to go further. "I take the condom off to make you realize bb is better", "I poz talk without explaining you what it is", and so on! The only occasion where I forced something was with a serophobic buddy whom I revealed to be undetectable after I bred him. But in that case, relying on serosorting without Prep, makes you risk the worst.

That bad experience I had with one fuckbuddy years ago, about sweat fetish - this man was stinky, something really really obscene! I think he didn't wash his armpits, genitals and feet for at least one week - thankfully he declared he worked from home, would never have liked to be one of his co-worker in case of sharing same office. Especially in winter with heater on, or in summer with aircon, and windows closed. Thinking of him makes me feel still uncomfortable. He wanted us to lick and breathe from his hairy, sweaty and dirty armpits and the only fun I had, was because my ex liked to be degraded in such way and, knowing relationship was gradually deteriorating, I wanted to see others humiliate him somehow. I felt somehow violated when they both wanted me to lick dirty beast's armpits, then I consented to fuck him, but condition was to wear facemask and condom. It was kinda Bikini on! LOL That fucker (and my ex) assumed I had sweat/stink fetish, it was the only time I saw that man, he's a friend of my ex's. That is "tell me who you visit and I'll tell you who you are". My sensation is that people often assume that when it's a sex-only adventure, everything is allowed. Let me say that, if someone wants to be used and abused by whoever regarding of fetishes and tastes, just lie down in a sling in a public sex place or go to a gloryhole or public toilet, wherever, ass and member exposed and let things happen. But for one-on-one encounter, unless it's clearly specified "anonymous no question", everyone should clarify their limits. Specifically on here, "what you're looking for" section is made for a reason!

This guy ErosWired has somehow "sermonized" me about my fantasy last summer, or at least I understood it as such, so I've chosen not to talk to (and about) him. But in this case he brought up an ESSENTIAL topic: kinks vs. communication. My fantasies are clearly documented on my profile for this reason: I never want to abuse of anyone! And this does NOT concern "hardcore" kinks only, it's not the first time I've approached someone here with "are you up for dirty chat role play?" And from the other side I got the answer "I'm not into role play chat" or "let's meet up [date/location] if you want to", and I behave accordingly: respect, without bothering someone who doesn't show interest in talking to me. No one is the center of the world, in a community like this (and better off line) everyone contributes to the world but no one is essential! There's a French quote saying "graveyards are full of unreplaceable people". Brutal as it is, but it's the truth. So, there is really no reason to think that our fetishes are the ones to make our partner live their most unforgettable experience. I also agree with the horrible sensation you feel when someone feticizes you for what you are: how you are dressed, tall or short, more and less "masculine-looking" or even HIV status. I've not wanted to become HIV positive, despite I had gifting fantasy (repressed) for a long time. New condition made me repress it even more... Now I've embraced it completely, but when I discovered my ex had chasing kink, I didn't feel flattered. Being repressed, I felt objectified! Very unpleasant! When I saw his Twitter with some kind of videos, it took a while to come out with my turn-on imagining those faceless sex acts with myself and him instead. My current bf? As I was his first male partner and a close friendship 12 years long, it's been quite easy to explain my kinks and why not being afraid of them. High trust has played a very good part! We're currently discussing this "not assume everyone has your kinks" topic as we're facing the matter of opening our couple or not. So, every aspect must be kept in consideration. Are we going to let other possible partners know about poz talk? Are we exploring other kinks? Are we staying monogamous? We are just discussing right now with no urge or forced decision around. But I admit, having a partner with same kinks makes sex much easier but life mustn't be concentrated on sex. About buddies here? I have a few neg guys playing with me frequently in our breedingzone message box, we have fun, this allows us to relax body and mind... But nothing else.