ErosWired

As I recounted in my blog post “And Now For Something Completely Different”, I met one of those last time who not only jacked off a guy in my room before he could fuck me, but actually stole a load out of my ass and then revenge-fucked me because I “got ‘his’ load”. Freaky. When I go to the bathhouse I go prepared to get Tops’ attention, and I shamelessly use every trick I know to lure cocks into my ass. I have to, because I was never one of the Beautiful People and don’t have the natural looks to attract them - have to use strategy. But at no time am I ever competing against any other bottom. Nothing would please me more than to be able to ensure that everyone left well-fucked and satisfied, even if it meant a little less action for me personally. The thing is, I don’t see why it should have to, if we could just get everybody into a room and light the fuse.

The sling lizard Slingasaurus obnoxious is easily confused with the sling hogs Slingasus rotundus and Slingasus immovabilis. The latter two may be positively identified by the bristly nature of the hair and the propensity for grunting and throat-clearing. Sling hogs are not as prone to falling asleep in the sling as sling lizards.

An aggression of Tops and a submission of bottoms crossed my mind, but those don’t necessarily fully capture the sense of breeding...

I’m wondering if, after having asked nicely and having been refused, if anyone has ever resorted to grabbing hold of one side of the sling and simply tipping the oaf out onto the floor like spilling someone out of a hammock - since for the slingasaur, that’s basically what it is. Otherwise, has anyone had any luck addressing the issue civilly with the management of the venue, especially at bathhouses?

There are specific collective words for certain groupings of things, such as a “murder” of crows or a “parliament” of owls. What do you suppose should be the collective word for groups of Tops and groups of bottoms? (Just as a point of interest, the collective for mares is “a stud of mares”...)

We’ve all encountered this creature at one time or another - the common Sling Lizard (Slingasaurus obnoxious). This is the guy who looks for a chance to climb into the unoccupied sling at the club or bathhouse and stays there for hours, refusing to give anybody else a chance. In my experience, such specimens are often overweight (sometimes to the point of overflowing the sling), sweaty and/or greasy, and in general the sort of men who would attract, shall we say, only a very particular sort of clientele for a random sling fuck or fisting. Their fantasies of being descended upon by a large serial crowd are almost certain to remain fantasies. Worse, some of these sling lizards appear to do this as a way of getting out of paying for a room: Instead of getting a room, they pay the lesser fee for a locker and then basically commandeer the sling room as “their” room. I have personally never had any luck attracting Tops in a sling - I guess my ass looks more choice the other way up - so lizards aren’t a direct problem for me. But as a carryover from my BDSM training I always go inspect the sling for others’ safety when I arrive, and it just chaps my ass to see the venue be essentially wasted for an entire evening or event because one inconsiderate reptile won’t clear out. What do you all do when faced with these sometimes surly brutes? Any tried-and-true pest control methods?

From a health safety perspective, there’s really no such thing as a “clean” ass, no matter how much you rinse yourself out. The gut is home to all kinds of microorganisms (some benign, some not) without which you couldn’t live. Making the choice to rim someone’s hole means making the decision to take the risk of ingesting microorganisms into your system from another person that you don’t already have in yours. It is a potential disease vector like almost every other act of sex. You buys yer ticket, you takes yer chances. But then, we all fuck bareback here for godsake. Personally, I don’t rim. Because it’s not one of the services I offer, and for the reasons stated above, I will never ask a Top to eat my ass. But I never refuse to let one do it, either, because - and here’s where I usually make my big mistake in telling Tops - it’s my weakness. A tongue in my ass will slut me almost instantly - quicker than poppers. It’s part of the reason I am diligent about making sure I’m clean... well, as “clean” as possible.

If you think there’s a chance he may be gradually coming on to you, perhaps a little patience will settle the issue. He was, after all, forward enough to approach you in the first place, so it’s unlikely that he’s socially timid. As other have suggested, you might take advantage of opportunities to make offhand, relatively neutral comments to test for his position on sexual orientation - for instance, if you happen to see another pair of men running together, speculate on whether they might be a couple. Or if you see a man running in “daring” attire, speculate on whether he has an alternate agenda besides his health. Or comment at “random” how you’d been doing an online search about running and stumbled on an article about streakers - men who dash around naked (do your research first). If the offhand comments fail to spark conversation, or worse, reveal any level of anti-gay bias, then you’ll know not to advance. If, on the other hand, he agrees that the two runners are probably barebacking each other and he wishes he coud watch, or comments that the guy in the daring shorts has a sweet ass, or replies to the comment on streaking with, “Dare ya”, you may want to accidentally lose your footing and stumble into the bushes...

I’ve been both delighted and relieved to discover that an arbitrary age-marker is a meaningless measure of how much sex you can expect. At 51 I’m doing quite well, thankyouverymuch, and my well-trained ass demonstrates my experience - but not for everyone. Ironically, as my age increases, I’m finding that so does my lower limit for the age of men I’m willing to service if I’m arranging a hookup. Currently, I prefer guys 27+. That sounds arbitrary, but I base my floor on the age of the oldest utter fucknut I’ve had the misfortune of dealing with - as of this writing, 26. That doesn’t mean I won’t ass-up for someone 26, or even younger, but I become increasingly skeptical the youner they go until they hit 21... at which point, forget it. I am 1) turned off by that level of immaturity, and 2) old enough to be their father. Not my scene. So to all those self-satisfied, selective prettyyoungthings out there who would find their minds *blown* by a few minutes in my ass - sorry. You’re not old enough for the top-shelf material. Come see me after you become a man and I’ll show you a world you haven’t even begun to imagine.

@new1eight - Not only can you be a Top, you can be a Top that bottoms remember. There are certain Tops that I actually dread finding me at the bathhouse not because they’re huge, but because they have perfected the art of subjecting a bottom to repeated anal orgasm, and are merciless. Three inches is adequate for penetration, especially in the right positions, as long as you have no erectile difficulty, and remember, most guys’ prostate can be easily reached with an index finger - about three inches. If you want to do some topping no questions asked, visit a bathhouse, find rooms with bottoms offering asses up, and just plug in and go. Never apologize for your equipment - just demonstrate! I might add that you might consider talking to your doctor at your next visit about checking to see if your testosterone levels are normal; it’s a bit uncommon to be hairless on your body by age 18, and you may benefit from some testing.

This poll is for Total Tops and Vers Tops only - bottoms, please don’t reply, as I’m trying to get a read on this demographic. I love you guys, but shouldn’t you be somewhere with your asses up taking cock anyway? Quite right.

*Sigh* Why couldn’t I have encountered that when I spent four years at SMU?

In your hierarchy I would have to put myself at level 6 - but you omit some distinctions. I do not knowingly take poz loads from men who are HVL/not in treatment.

I’m 51. At CumUnion as a total bottom I average 20 fucks a visit. When I turned 50 I sort of assumed that I was dead and buried as far as other men finding me a desirable breeding target, but that - to my great relief - has proven to be far from the case. My inner slut is out in force now.

This^. Boom. We have a winner. Actual data wins out over speculation, supposition, assumption, and bias every. single. time. In any event, HIV/AIDS has become too entrenched across too many demographics to attribute its spread to a single causality in such a facile way.

The OP’s question is specifically about whether it’s possible to be filled past overflowing. There’s no question that a bottom is going to be unable to prevent leakage while cocks are moving in and out, with flared heads dragging cum back toward the opening with every thrust - but that’s not the question. It could be argued that the volume analysis should figure around the rectum only, rather than the entire colon, as cum is likely to be retained by the rectal valves below the rectosigmoid junction, and so it would take a significantly smaller number of copulations to do it. But if you think of the filling of an ass with cum in the same way as filling it with any other liquid (say, deep douching), it becomes obvious that an ass could actually hold one hell of a lot of cum before you just couldn’t hold it in anymore. Either way, I don’t think what leaks out due to fucking counts for this particular query, but I’ll leave it for the OP to clarify.

It is possible that psychological factors having little or nothing to do with your actual sexual orientation may lie behind the discongruity in your sexual preference. You make no mention of whether you also have sexual relations with women - the inference being that you do not. There is not enough information for us to speculate on whether some psychological process related to past experience is pushing you to act in a way contrary to your normal inclination, or whether you are simply more attacted to men than you thought, or perhaps wish to believe. Like you, I find women beautiful and would likely choose a woman if I decided upon a relationship, but for my sexual appetite, I like men. I don’t feel confused by this, and if pressed for a label, I call myself Bi. When you accept that you need answer to no one but yourself for your own sexuality, you will find greater peace.

Another trip to CumUnion in Indianapolis last weekend, and another solid tally of fuckings - but more of that in a bit. What stands out in memory are a few incidents of oddity, to wit: Almost the instant I got into my room and opened the door for guests, I felt hands on my ass, and I glanced back to see that there were two men in the room. The one fondling my cheeks began probing my hole, then after a minute stopped, and I heard moaning from the second man, rising to an abrupt stop. Then the first man returned his attention to fingering my hole with a warm lube. ”That’s his cum,” he said. He poked around at me a bit longer, then patted my ass and left. This annoyed me, because the second guy had clearly come in to fuck me, gotten jacked off instead, and all I got was a finger-smear of his load and no fucking. Next, another man came in and did fuck and load me. But the instant that man left the room, the first guy came back in and dived face-first for my ass, and ate out the load I had just received. He said, “I had been wanting that guy’s load, but you got it.” He then proceeded to fuck me fot a couple of minutes, but didn’t cum. The way I see it, the guy stole two loads from me - one out of my very ass - and then revenge-fucked me for attracting “his” loads in the first place. Later on, some guy with tentative hands starts feeling me up, and I can pretty much usually tell by the way they approach me - this guy just wanted to play with my ass. Damned finger-fuckers. They never use any lube, they ignore the fact that they have fingernails, and they expect you to take four fricking fingers after about 30 seconds. This guy poked and prodded around trying to find my prostate with no success, until, without warning, he crooked his finger into a hook shape and made a rapid 360-degree twist inside my anus. That was enough of that. I sent him away, reached into my pack and pulled out paper and marker to write a note to leave out on the table by the bed reading “~Please~ No Finger-Fucking Tonight. Thank You.” As I lay there, pen in hand, clearly, obviously engaged in writing... WHACK! A man dressed in a full leather apron and leather mask that covered his lower face wailed on my ass with a flexible leather paddle. WHAP! WHACK! These were not play swats, but industrial-strength BDSM-scene-worthy flogging strokes. I turned over and said, “Um, I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” ”What?” ”Would you please leave?” ”Sure, I guess so...” ”Could you not see that I was writing something?” ”Uh... huh?” ”OUT!” As usual, I was approached by men for whom contact with another man might be more difficult to achieve, and I did not turn them away - I gave a massage and a hand job to an elderly man who couldn’t hard, a hand job and some oral to an extremely onerweight man who had a disability, I let an older Asian man who spoke little English have a go at fucking me. And why not? The day will no doubt come when I will be grateful myself for such a kindness. But regardless of the oddities and vagaries that come with bathhouse bottoming, I had something to look forward to this time, and that something certainly did not disappoint. I had the opportunity to meet @FelchingPisser, and had the great privilege of surrendering my ass to him and experiencing his skills first-hand - something completely different indeed.

I have found that at the bathhouse a couple of trips to the steam room pretty much obliterates such markings, even when made with an ‘indelible’ marker like a Sharpie. This last weekend a Top wrote “SLUT” across the top of my ass after he was finished. After I had gone to the steam room (and had a short train run on my ass) he came back into my room just to refresh the marking(!).

Let’s apply a little science. The average fluid capacity of the adult human colon is around 4.5 liters. The average quantity of semen produced in normal human ejaculation is around 3.5 milileters (.0035 liter). It would therefore take 1,286 loads to fill the average gut to the point that it could not physically contain the contents. Assuming, however, the (nearly impossible) circumstance that you could line up 1,286 cocks to fuck you in succession, as well as the (unquestionably impossible) likelihood that your hole could withstand 1,286 continuous consecutive fuckings, we must factor in the required time of deposit - let’s say, two minutes apiece. This returns 2,572 minutes, or 42.87 hours (1.78 days) of nonstop fucking to fill you up. Unfortunately, during this time, the colon will have continued performing its actual functions, primary among which is to absorb water. Cum is, naturally, mostly water, so th whole time you’re trying to fill it up to the bursting point, your ass is busy extracting the water and decreasing the volume. In the average male, the colon processes a full meal in around 33 hours, so in addition to the initial amount, you’d have to also take enough loads to replace the absorbed volume over the course of the entire time it took them to fuck you in a three-fucks-forward-two-fucks-back cycle that would never seem to end and for which I haven’t got time to do the complicated math. Include in this that you would have to stop and take nourishment, and that your assring would become far too inflamed to allow entry long before you got close to target numbers. Don’t even bother going the oral route instead. It takes far less time to pass stomach contents to the intestines - you’d never fill up your belly. So, basically, no.

As of Thursday evening, 5/10/2018, Doublelist was effectvely operational at least in the Indianapolis area, because it landed me an excellent anon fuck..

I guess I’ll have to be the one who bucks the trend in this thread, because if there were no treatment for the Enemy Virus, not only would I not take loads bare, I would become celebate. Under those circumstances I could not in good conscience risk being the vector by which the disease spread.

The discussion about this topic is under “LGBT Politics”. You’ll find the accumulated wisdom about this problem already there.

As a practical matter, you don’t need, and probably shouldn’t use, any sort of deeply penetrating hose for deep cleaning. The goal is not to pressure-wash your colon, but to hasten the exit of matter already in process. A gentle but firm strem of water introduced at the anus is quite sufficient. Any long hose stiff enough that it won’t bend back on itself puts you at risk of a perforated bowel - surgery at best, sepsis and death at worst. There are other threads on this forum with excellent advice about deep cleansing for bottoms. I would suggest giving them a once-over before you spend any money. You don’t have to have any fancy equipment to have a sparkly clean ass.

I’ve been exhibited by several Tops, from the very beginning of my gay experience - the exhilaration of finding multiple sets of eyes looking at me with desire, combined with a strong rush of humiliation, cemented the desire to be seen as a sexual object in my mind. I’ll never forget the time a Top told me he would be taking me to his friends’ house so they could watch him fuck me in bondage. While he was doing it, I noticed a little red light blinking in the dark - I was being videoed. As far as I know, that video still exists out there somewhere. I’ve been used for public demonstrations of all kinds of BDSM practices, and sometimes I wonder how many sets of eyes have watched me have a full-body orgasm, seen my face, heard my unguarded sex sounds, smelled the cum that splattered my belly, saw me swallow when it was fed back to me. I remember the applause they sometimes gave - not for me, but for the Top who had demonstrated his ability to force my body to surrender. How could I not love this? Give me an audience when you fuck me, every time, and you’ll draw out the deepest part of my sexuality.