ErosWired

If the dress code specifies naked as an option, I wouldn’t think twice about it. And who the hell cares if you’re “showing off”? What does that even mean in this context? It’s a bathhouse, for God’s sake, not an executive board room. Besides, the first step to getting fucked is getting noticed. Drop the towel.

You cannot grant other persons immunity from criminal statutes by signing a contract that says you forfeit your right to protection under the law. It isn’t for you to say; the crime is considered to be against the state, because our society has determined that certain conduct is not allowable. If you contracted with a man to kill you rather than commit suicide, he would still be charged with murder because you do not have the authority to set aside the law, even if it involves you alone. In the case of a gangbang, I doubt if a contract would hold much water as a means of absolving Tops from the responsibility to not actually rape you, especially if things got out of hand. You could sign a contract that says you hold them harmless for whatever they do to you, but that only protects them from you seeking compensation in civil courts, not from the state seeking to prosecute the violation of criminal law. I think at that point it probably just becomes a question of whether you will agree to assist the prosecution by supporting a charge, and if the situation went too far south of your fantasy scenario, you just might be ready to... Wet-blanket realism aside... yeah, it’s a massive fantasy of mine, too. I admit it. I would drive halfway across the continent for the chance. (And if it was any farther, I’d just get on a plane.)

I, too, am a very good hypnotic subject, and I have twice been taken deeply under by ‘tists who wanted to alter me in ways that they did not advertise during our wide-awake, pre-session negotiations. The first time I discovered what the man had been up to when I stumbled on a chat log between us from while I was in trance. That was an eye-opener for me, and after that I did a lot of self-hypnosis and other mental work to build mental safeguards in case anyone ever tried it again. Someone did. A very, very skilled hypnotist came very close to getting everything he wanted in very short order, over the phone, no less. By the end of our last call, he had me spreadeagled naked on the bed, absolutely immobilized by restraints that did not exist, and wracked in the throes of multiple consecutive full-body orgasms that were causing me to shoot hands-free well over my head. While this was going on with my body, he pulled my mind to a level that I could see a pair of orbs of energy that I realized had to be my actual soul - and then he entered the scene and fucked it with his cock. I am not making one word of this up. None of the above, by the way, was hot, sexy, or fun; it was an exercise of power, control, and violence that he was able to manifest physically through his skill at manipulating my mind. Do you understand the implications of what I’m saying? This grossly unethical hypnotist violently raped me physically and mentally - over the phone. At last, my prepared emergency firewall kicked in and reclaimed sovreignty of my mind. He tried to subdue me again briefly, but then simply hung up, leaving me in a trance in which I was bound, disoriented, and in physical and mental shock. I’m not sure how long it took me to come out of it, but I’m guessing something like four hours. And it was over two weeks before I felt normal. I never heard from him again, but the frightening thing is that deep-down I know that if one day he suddenly called up and spoke the phrase that dropped me into the trance state where he manipulated me, I would drop again instantly. Still, the important thing to remember about hypnosis is that no one can hypnotize you into doing something like shooting another person unless you were already predisposed to do that. You can’t be hypnotized to cause yourself harm by walking off a cliff - that is, no one can hypnotize you to death. But if you have a submissive psyche, such a person may have great latitude to drag you into some very deep, dark places of his own design, and where no help is coming. Tread carefully.

Could it be that the bottom has not drained completely after cleaning himself out and is still retaining a quantity of water? It doesn’t all come out at once, and if he was too hasty about assuming he was emptied out, it’s possible that enough water might work its way down that you could hear or feel it slosh as you fucked him. That would be my guess. That, or he has an ass full of eels.

I’ll be interested in the responses to this from Total Tops. I’d be willing to bet that there is a population, albeit possibly small, of Tops whose Dominant, aggressive, and masculine traits, combined with the particulars of their social upbringing, put bottoming for another man absolutely out of the question. I’m not a Total Top, so I don’t fit the demographic you’re querying, but if I were, imagine one obvious reason some men never bottom is that the anus is not designed to accept object insertion in the way a vagina is, and sticking something into it can be painful, or at least unpleasant. Some people aren’t willing to do what it takes to overcome that, and why would they if their pleasure is cock-focused? @hungry_hole, you do realize that in asking “Any reason why a guy would not get fucked?” you open your whole premise that there’s no reason a Top shouldn’t also bottom up to attack (quite brave of you). All anyone has to do is present his reason he doesn’t take fucking, and voilá! - there is a reason. And if there’s a reason Total Tops don’t bottom, then it seems perfectly arguable that there’s a reason total bottoms don’t Top.

I confess I’m surprised by the poll results - I knew that Tops were in the minority, but to find nearly 45% of respondents claiming to be total bottoms seems excessive. I wonder if some who will occasionally Top are defaulting to “bottom” instead of “vers bottom”. Myself, I’m functionally a total bottom first by the fact that I never got anything out of Topping, and then later by training that reinforced my bottom role. I recognize that being a total bottom places a burden on the overall balance, and places an extra responsibility on me to ensure that I provide the best possible fucking experience for any Top who chooses my ass for his pleasure. It is my job to blow his mind. I work hard at it. (Maybe too hard - I’m starting to have a problem with Tops shooting the moment the tip of their cock touches my cunt - I had to give a guy desensitizing lotion last week just so he could enter me(!).) I believe that every total bottom bears that responsibility, including the hard work and preparation that goes with it. The problem with bottoms, to be candid, isn’t the number of them - it’s the number of “lazy bottoms” that just lie there and give mediocre ass and dilute the overall quality of the pool Tops have to choose from. I believe that if more bottoms learned how to make the experience outstanding for Tops, more men would become vers to take advantage of it. That’s my hypothesis, anyway.

@Philmeup - On no account should you agree to such significant and permanent arrangements at this stage. Remember that regardless of agreements made concerning slavery, ownership and suchlike in a BDSM context, those agreements would not be legally recognized, for very good reason - our society does not permit enslavement of individuals because of the inherent violations of human rights. While the thought of having some of those rights taken from you might be a turnon for you in certain contexts, once you are in the power of a sociopathic Dominant, you may discover you lose those rights even when you want them. Imagine a day when you really, really don’t want a belly full of his urine - you may have to take it anyway. What if he decides to take things further than you expected? What if he decides you’re going to eat a bowl of his feces, or that you don’t need your testicles anymore? He’s already established that he thinks he has enough ownership and control of your body to permanently mark you with a huge tattoo of his choosing and not yours - why would he stop at that? Of course he wants you to sell the house you own: 1) He doesn’t want you to have anywhere to escape back to, and 2) If he’s going to be “taking care of you”, why would you need any money? Expect him to take it all away from you in one way or the other. This man is a User, and an Abuser. He does not have your present or future welfare anywhere in his mind. When he has milked you dry for all your financial worth and you cease to amuse him and his friends, especially when life catches up with you and you become sick or older than the age he fancies, expect to find yourself discarded and destitute, a wreck of the person you could have been. -OR-! You can very sensibly tell this royal piece of shit and his friend to go eat a bag of dicks and never darken your door again. Actually, I wouldn’t even open the door for him at this point. Sell your house? Please.

Around here we routinely speak of bottoms’ lower orifices as ‘holes’, which implies something round, and the average anus, as a contracting sphincter construction, generally is. But on occasion I encounter references to it as a “slit”, which specifically describes a long, narrow opening, and I have seen a few instances of bottoms with holes that appear more like slits than holes. I have questions: • If you have a slit-like opening, has it always been that way, or did something occur to bring it about? • If it’s something that developed or was engineered, can anyone do it? • (Importantly) Tops, is an asshole that vaguely resembles female genitalia moreso than a common anus a turnoff or a turnon? Personally, as a slut bottom I think such openings are fantastically hot and wish mine looked that way so I could well and truly say I’m just a cunt for cock. I mean, I am, so I say it anyway, but it would be nice to have the visual to complete the package.

CAUTION. Mineral oil is used pharmaceutically as a laxative remedy for constipation. It results in a bowel movement in about 8 hours after application with a dosage of between one and three tablespoons - not very much. Mineral oil also inhibits absorption of nutrients in the bowel, so it wouldn’t be something of which you’d want to make a habit. Mineral oil comes in grades, and you want to ensure that you purchase pharmaceutical grade mineral oil, as other grades are less refined and may contain toxins. This is a by-product of gasoline, after all. Mineral oil is a key ingredient in some baby oils. Me, I’m swearing by the coconut oil, though in the petrolatum-based category, I also like Doc Johnson Anal Glide.

The CumUnion I attend is in Indianapolis. It’s always been well-attended and I have personally always had a blast, but there have been a few points that I’ve heard grumbled about or that I’ve noticed. Music: Definitely important for getting a vibe going. Yet one time I had a distinct what-the-bellbottomed-fuck moment when I had to endure The Captain and Tenniel singing “Muskrat Love” while I was trying to get poppered up. Another patron discovered the DJ station set up just outside the door to his room - not a good choice that time. Activities: I don’t think it would be a bad idea to have a party host or two on duty simply to mingle about and make sure everyone is actively enjoying the party. If I recall there were a couple of “contests” of some sort, but, I mean, anybody up for a game of naked Twister? Having somebody to finagle two bottoms into the same room as a handful of Tops could work wonders. Some activities may be less conducive to what most are there for - take the drawings, for example. If the music is interrupted every so often with the news that ticket no. so-and-such just won the Xtra-large jar of Boy Butter, I probably am not going to ask the Top to stop fucking me long enough to check my ticket. Amenities: If you’re going to offer limited facilities like slings or fuck benches, it’s especially important for staff to monitor those amenities during the party to ensure that the sling lizards and bench slugs don’t spoil the party for everyone else. Be sure to check restrooms frequently. Some guys haven’t yet mastered the art of cleaning out. I will say no more. Safety: I come from a public service background, so I tend to notice hazards. There are some things I think any CumUnion venue could and probably should do to head off problems. For instance: • Post a visible notice warning men that using poppers and viagra together can be deadly. • Ensure that steam room temperatures do not exceed safe limits; that steam rooms always have adequate lighting; and that egress from the back of the steam room is never blocked. I have observed failures of all these conditions at various steam rooms, and it is a miracle no one has been seriously harmed. • Ensure that the sling and/or other public equipment has been safety-checked and serviced before the party starts. I make it my business to do this at my CumUnion, because that’s what a well-trained bondage sub does, but you can’t count on that everywhere. • Be alert for lube-slicked floors. I don’t know what it is about Tops and silicone-based lube, but I’ve had to stop leaving it out for them because one of them, without fail, will spill enough of it to turn the floor of my room into a skating-rink-deathtrap. At least have cleaning supplies ready to hand that will clean up the range of lubes. Darkroom: Figure out a way to convert at least one room into a communal darkroom space. We can do without all that video porn for three hours if necessary. I may think of more, but that’s what I’ve got to be getting on with...

When I was trained for sexual service, my Master’s stategy was all about taking control of my orgasm so that it wasn’t something that I could regulate anymore. He succeeded so well that the effects continue now, long after I’ve been on my own again. I routinely warn Tops, early on in an encounter, that they’re going to make me cum, and cum hard, and cum multiple times, without ejaculating, because I’ve been conditioned to do so. So far, as nearly as I can tell, that information has done nothing but embolden the Tops using me to fuck me harder, faster and deeper to see how many times they can make me O. I can’t tell you how many times a Top will feel my ass clench suddenly around his cock, or watch my toes stretch involuntarily, and say with a lurid smile, “There it is...” And oh, God, if they discover that I’m ultra-sensitive to anal orgasm, I’ve had Tops spend nearly a fucking hour just circling my ring with their cockhead, pausing only every couple of minutes to tease the head in and out until cumming has become a form of torture, and not the fun kind. So don’t let Tops tell you they don’t like it when a bottom cums - knowing that you just grabbed hold of the other man’s most intimate self and pulled it out where you could see it is the ultimate winning move in the ultimate game.

I’m confused - To signal bareback, you want navy blue, or it has to be navy blue with white polka dots? I would imagine the latter would be significantly harder to come by, and thus the plain navy blue would be the default code for a practice as fundamental as fucking bare. Could the polka dots be an additional signal for willingness to take loads? I have never attempted to use the system, but am willing to employ any method that gets one more cock balls-deep inside me.

@AnonNSA - Consider the whole of your relationship with your partner and all of the ways in which you enrich each other’s lives. Sex is likely only one of them, and should you remain together over the course of many years, sex will become less and less important among them as you age. This is the way of things. If you value those other aspects of your relationship, you must not act without communicating with him first. Perceived betrayal is enormously destructive to trust, and difficult to recover from. Your best course is likely to have an honest conversation about your sexual needs, emphasizing the nature of your past sexual experience and what that conditioned you for. Give him the chance to understand, and to offer in some way to meet those needs, or to suggest a way for you to meet those needs. If he does not, or will not, then you will know that the relationship may be out-of-balance and a more radical approach may be in order. Tread carefully; any attempt at doing things behind his back will eventually come to light - it always does. Don’t kid yourself that it will somehow be different with you.

If this theory is correct, though, it means that at some point we will reach a level at which no amount of rutting will be enough to satisfy our need - that we could take cock 24/7 and still feel an unfillable emptiness. It’s a sobering thought.

Clothes? What are these “clothes” you speak of?

Between Guy 1 and Guy 2, you’ve covered everyone who barebacks, because those who do not use PrEP have a mathematical risk of exposure to HIV that approaches 100% if they’re doing it for the 45 years you allot, and then they’ll be on the meds, too. So basically, you’ve just said that every man who barebacks can expect to be dead by 70. Rubbish. I came within a hair’s breadth of dying of AIDS-related opportunistic disease 3 1/2 years ago, when my cell count stood at a whopping 49. Today, I’m back to around 300 (not too bad for my age) and my doctor says my life expectancy at the present level of medical science is around 75. Take a kid whose HIV is caught before it ravages his immune system and put him on meds that contain the virus? Nearly normal lifespan. And in that 20-year-old’s 45-year allotted fucking time, medical science is going to advance in a big way. Therefore I do not think your point in this case stands up to scrutiny. As to men dying of disease other than HIV - well, of course they do. HIV itself doesn’t kill you outright. It’s deadly because it rips down the barrier that otherwise defends you from the cloud of microorganisms that swirl around us constantly, some of which are Bad Fucking News. AIDS didn’t nearly kill me - it was double pneumonia and fungal meningitis. (The shingles that followed were no joke, either.)

@heyzeus - At CumUnion everybody is there for a sex party, with the expectation that everybody else there is looking for something. If it’s a darkroom situation, it’s pretty much Katy-bar-the-door and just be ready to respond one way or another to whatever lays hold of you. In better illumination, know the signs n’ signals that tell you what men are after in a bathhouse. Don’t be shy - they won’t. Put yourself out there. I notice your post title indicates Bottom, but if you’re willing to Top at all, you’ll have no trouble finding partners - you’ll find them in their rooms with their asses up waiting, hoping, yearning (I’m not kidding even a little) for you to march right up and plug in. You can sample several before deciding which one to breed. If you only bottom, definitely go early, get a room, bring plenty o’ lube, and assume the position. Mix that up from time to time with provocative visits to the steam room, sling room, hot tub, video lounge, whatever is on offer, so they know you’re there. Sometimes they follow you back. Sometimes they just fuck you on the spot. The key to getting a lot of interaction is to be open to different things and different types of men. To paraphrase, CumUnion is like a box of chocolates - you never know just what you’re going to get. (Personally, I like the ones with the cream centers... )

@shaved_thong_lover - Moderation in all things. If you have begun to feel that an aspect of your life or your behavior is consuming an undue proportion of your time, or is preventing you from doing some of the other things that combine to make up a well-balanced and happy life, then that aspect of your life possibly has become a problem. If your fixation on slutting yourself out is as pervasive as you describe - that it occupies all of your non-working, non-sleeping time every day, then I would suggest that you reevaluate the importance of it to your life. Especially if you find yourself acting on it in increasingly inappropriate places, you may wish to consider speaking to a professional trained in helping people deal with sexual addiction. The frequency of your cock-seeking obviously puts you at elevated risk for STDs, and you would need to be getting tested more frequently than the average person to avoid possibly serious consequences or becoming a disease vector for others. I’m glad you’ve had this moment of self-reflection, and I’m glad you stopped in here to ask your question; I hope you’re able to find a healthy balance. Take good care -

Ass-up at the bathhouse and letting my ass sway just a little to the beat of the house music - and hearing the guy watching through the door go “Whew...” Hooked.

My ampallang is a magnet for cockblockers - at the bathhouse they will. not. leave. my. cock. alone. if they can see it. So i’ve taken to wearing my solid steel chastity cage most of the time. It doesn’t stop the finger-fuckers, though. I’ve never been injured by a cock, but I get injured by finger-fuckers all the time, sometimes making subsequent fucking painful. It’s got to the point that I’m considering a ‘no fingers’ policy. This last trip, I was surprised by a mouth that slammed onto my hole out of nowhere like a projectile and started eating me out with vigor. Then, as suddenly as it began, it stopped. ”I’m a bottom,” the guy said, “But I just had to eat one ass.” Then he was gone, having completely un-lubed me in seconds.

I would never say it’s wrong to climb into a sling you find unnocupied - I mean, fortune favors the bold. But if men continue to walk past the sling without stopping to at least inspect what’s on offer, the occupant should, in my opinion, take the hint within half an hour and change strategies; it obviously isn’t working. Don’t just tell yourself that you’ll stay until someone else asks to use it, either; most people won’t ask, and you’re just depriving other men who paid for same opportunity to use the facility that you did. If the occupant is asked by a pair to allow them to use the sling, he should vacate at once, with grace. This weekend I asked my friendly neighborhood bathhouse manager what their policy is on lizards and hogs, and he says that if there’s a problem, patrons should just tell management and they’ll deal with the offender.

You were making interesting arguments right up to this point, and then - blew it. Sorry, I look terrible in a tinfoil hat.

@M4mnow2 - You seem to be asking two questions here, 1) If someone wants to "convert", why would he bother taking medication, and 2) why would anyone want to "convert" to having a life-threatening disease in the first place? For 2), these men (misguided, in my opinion as someone who has AIDS and did NOT want it) somehow believe that having the HIV virus in their system will confer some kind of benefit or status. They believe that they will at last be able to fuck bare without living under the shadow of catching the disease (untrue - you can always get superinfected), or that they gain acceptance as part of a group of men who are carriers, or for other psychological reasons I don't begin to understand because in my very real-life experience of having AIDS the idea of actually going out of your way to catch HIV is fucking nutzo. Whatever the reason men decide they want to get the disease, for 1) the obvious answer is obvious - without the meds, the disease will kill them. It could be argued that being killed by the disease is the only way to have the "full experience" of contracting HIV, but none of these men actually want the full ticket in the first place. They only want it up to a point, and for the vast majority, only because they are ignorant of the actual price in suffering that they are signing up for. Don't suggest that someone at risk of HIV consider not getting treatment. Don't wish that on your worst enemy. Please trust me, an AIDS survivor for nearly 4 years now, on this one.

Well, I’ll tell you exactly what a gathering of gay men is - a pride, because today is Pride Festival day in Indy and all the gay men have clearly gathered somewhere other than the bathhouse. It’s been absolutely dead here all day. We’ll see if anyone actually shows up for CumUnion...

The OP’s question seems to assume that older men will always Top and younger men always bottom in these connections. I’d be interested, as a 51-year-old* total bottom not planning on spreading my seed anywhere, the point of view of younger Tops who prefer older bottoms - if such exist. *I am frequently told by people in the septuagenarian set how I am “such a young man”, yet to my 19-year-old daughter I’m a geezer. Go figure. I really don’t care as long as I’m still fuckable.