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concerned1

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About concerned1

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  • Birthday 08/11/1988

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  1. Definitely because it feels better. For me, fucking with a condom barely feels good....seriously, my cock feels hardly any pleasure when I am wearing a condom and inside a guy's ass. So there is no question. It is not up for debate. BB feels waaaaaaaay better, it is waaaaaay more intimate and yeah, there is a kind of psychological thrill to it, too (probably because we have lived through the HIV years before PrEP and undetectable viral loads... a time when BB was so "forbidden").
  2. Are we living in a post-condom age now? I live in the UK and I hook up with guys for fun very often. Almost every single week. At the very, very least I'll have fun with one guy in a week and it's usually more. And 9 out of 10 will do BB, without even having a discussion about it first. In fact I would say it has been 10 out of 10 doing BB until very recently when a guy I hooked up with insisted on me wearing a condom ... and that was the first time I had ever had anyone even mention "safer sex" to me in many months if not a couple of years. I would definitely say most gay/bi guys in the UK now are doing BB as routine sex, very few are using condoms anymore. If I meet up with a guy from Grindr, in a bar, in a sex club or in a sauna (bathhouse), I know that I am almost guaranteed to be fucking him BB before we actually start fucking. Most times there is not even any discussion about it.... I don't even need to ask, I just turn them around and stick my cock inside their ass BB and this is how it is with me almost EVERY SINGLE TIME. How is it elsewhere? I know this is an American site and that most members of this website are from the States, so I want to know how is it for you guys over there? Are most gay/bi guys now back to fucking raw as was the case before HIV started making itself known in the early 1980s? Or do lots of guys over there still use condoms? I had a holiday relatively recently in Berlin, Germany and I went to a sauna and fucked quite a few guys also NONE of whom asked me to wear a condom. Are gay men the world over in a post-condom age?
  3. Some medical scientists reckon that HIV's asymptomatic incubation period lasts on average for about 10 years . If this is actually true, then it means that the people who started becoming ill and dropping like flies in 1980/81, when the epidemic was first realised, would have all been infected in the early 1970s ...around 1970/71. There was a young lad in St Louis, Missouri called Robert Rayford who died in 1969 with pneumonia and Kaposi's Sarcoma. Years later it was confirmed through tests of his blood samples the doctors had kept in the hospital, that he had HIV. So, he was possibly infected around the late 1950s or very early 1960s. HIV must have been lurking in the United States for AT LEAST two decades before it made itself really known in the early 80s. So yeah you're right, we wouldn't know about something new until it was too late. And a new, deadly virus could take a long time to rear its ugly head. Very frightening.
  4. Thanks for your reply. I will definitely try to get the courage to tell him when I see him tonight. His age is real, because I have seen it on I.D. So it really is 9 years difference :( My birth year stated on here is correct - for some reason I didn't think to lie here haha. I think you're right in saying that if he does change how he views me because of my age or if he doesn't want to continue seeing me because of this, it's better that I know it now at this early stage, rather than get hit by the bullet (so to speak) later on down the line and when the heartbreak will likely feel much worse. What if I just get too scared to do it in person? I'm really so anxious, and I'm now thinking of telling him through a whatsapp conversation after our meet tonight. What do you think? I'll let you know how this goes. And thanks for your reply, it means a lot.
  5. So about four weeks ago I got talking to a guy on Grindr ... his profile stated he was looking for "Chats, Dates, Friends". Usually I don't message profiles like this because I'm only looking for fun, so normally if a profile doesn't say "Right Now" on it , I won't bother. However the guy was really gorgeous so I messaged him and we chatted for quite a long while and we exchanged numbers and started chatting on a daily basis. About a week after, we actually met. He came to my place and we had sex but also we chilled out together and watched some Netflix while we cuddled up. It was a really nice time and I actually felt like I really like this guy. I hadn't felt such a connection or chemistry with a guy in a very long time. We've been in pretty much daily contact since then and he is coming over to see me again tonight. But I have a dilemma. On my Grindr profile I have my age set to five years younger than what I really am ....please don't judge me.....we all know most guys won't entertain even looking at guys over a certain age, so I felt I had to do this in order to even be able to just chat with guys on the app. I look much younger than I actually am (not just me saying that, lots of people tell me this) and so I am able to easily pass for the age at which my Grindr profile shows. But I really like this guy a lot, and I feel we are maybe going somewhere,...like possibly heading into relationship territory. He seems to like me a lot, and I sure as hell like him a lot. I would love to get into a relationship with him, even at this early stage I do have some very strong feelings for him. I want some advice from you guys. What do I do? When we've been speaking and when we met the first time, the subject of age didn't come up so there was no reason to mention anything (although it was in the back of my mind). I haven't specifically told him a lie....I mean, I haven't said I am five years younger than I am, but he will have obviously seen the age on my Grindr and he will think that is what I actually am. I really want to tell him my true age but I don't feel strong enough or like I have the courage to do so. Because to make this situation even harder ...he is 9 years younger than me. I am really scared about being judged for my age, about being rejected by someone who has developed a good relationship with me and who likes me and who I like very much....things are progressing so well between us and I feel if he knows my real age and that there is almost a decade between us, this will put him off. I wouldn't view him as being shallow, I would entirely understand and I wouldn't blame him. I asked a friend in confidence about this and they told me I need to come clean about this and just deal with the rejection and heartbreak if that's what happens :( But it's so hard. I feel he will feel like he has been deceived. Tonight's meet will be our second meet and I feel if I am to tell him, I need to tell him tonight, and not later on down the road. The longer I leave it the worse it will be, the harder it will be to tell him. It may even become impossible. Better to do this at an early stage? This situation is really causing me a lot of heartache and emotional turmoil. Does anyone have any advice on what to do and also , if I am to tell him (which I want to), how to pluck up the courage to do this and also how do I actually go about saying it? :(
  6. I have lied about being on PrEP while not on it, yes. I've been on the PrEP impact trial here in the UK since January 2019, but there have been times where I've gone a few weeks or even up to a couple months without being on it. All the times I was off it, was when I had ran out of PrEP and hadn't been back to the clinic to get more (i'm supposed to go every three months to get tested for STIs and to get 3 months more supply of PrEP ; but sometimes I leave it longer than the 3 months until I go back). Even when I have run out of PrEP and not been back to the clinic to get more supply of it, I still hooked-up with guys for BB fun and told them that I was "on PrEP" even though I wasn't at the time due to having used up all my supply. Very few asked me if I was on it, though. I've noticed though that in the UK, the majority of guys who I hook-up with from Grindr or in the sauna or sex club or wherever, don't even bother asking if I'm on PrEP and will just fuck raw regardless. I'd say it's been like this for the past few years now. I find this interesting, because when I "came of age" and first started having fun with guys in the early 2000s, condoms and "safe sex" was still very much a thing - and the majority of guys would insist on condoms, in fact, most of the time it just went without saying that if you hooked-up with someone, the top would wear a condom. These days seem like a distant memory now - I don't know if it's just in the UK, but nobody in the gay world here seems to be doing safe sex anymore. A couple of guys I've hooked-up with recently have said they only do "safe", but such guys are so far and few between now. Almost everyone is just doing BB now (and that's great!). I don't know why we seem to be living in this post-condom age, maybe the advancements in HIV meds and the introduction of PrEP is responsible for it? Long may the status-quo continue, anyway. I love hooking-up with guys and knowing that I'm almost guaranteed a raw fuck :D
  7. I recently started taking PrEP again after a short break. I've been noting the times of when I've been taking my PrEP each day since I began. I just wanted to ask, considering the time variations (some of them literally only minutes), how good is my protection? Sat 1st Feb - two tablets taken at 12:13 Sun 2nd Feb - one tablet taken at 12:15 Mon 3rd Feb - one tablet taken at 12:16 Tues 4th Feb - one tablet taken at 12:07 Wed 5th Feb - one tablet taken at 12:16 Thurs 6th Feb - one tablet taken at 12:22 Fri 7th Feb - one tablet taken at 12:48 Sat 8th Feb - one tablet taken at 12:22 Sun 9th Feb - one tablet taken at 13:15 I'm right in thinking it doesn't have to be BANG ON the EXACT SAME TIME every single day, right? That's what the nurses told me at the clinic but for some reason still I am really nervous and don't trust the PrEP even with just minutes or even one hour difference in times. I guess I'm just overly anxious and paranoid, but how good is the protection from HIV considering the above schedule I've managed to stick to so far?
  8. I'm top and when a bottom guy fucks me back with his ass during sex, it really pisses me off. You know when they bounce their ass back at you while you're fucking them in the doggy position. I hate that, it's like 'please stop it, let me do the fucking'. I have been with a couple of guys who keep on doing it and doing it so much, to the point it made me lose my boner. It does fuck all for me, please guys stop this, it's highly annoying and makes me lose my boner because it doesn't feel good. I'm the top, let ME do MY job lol. Anyone else hate this?
  9. The nurse I asked at the clinic actually said I'm OK to have bareback sex after 2 hours of starting PrEP again (two hours after an initial dose of 2 tablets). Though I have been told previously you must wait 7 days. Suppose it's better to just wait the 7.
  10. I appreciate the replies that keep coming in, but as I've actually already mentioned, I went to the sexual health clinic yesterday to get my results from my last round of tests and also to get 3 months worth of PrEP. I asked the nurse there about this and have my answer. Thanks guys.
  11. Just got back from the clinic (Mortimer market clinic in London) to pick up my next 3 months supply of PrEP and I have my answer to this question: I can stop and start PrEP as many times as I like, as long as I don't have bareback sex during the intermittent periods in between stopping and starting, whenever I am on the PrEP my protection against HIV is always the same.
  12. I'm not talking about fucking someone BB a couple days or so after you've come off daily PrEP, thinking you might be okay to fuck raw because you think there might still be enough PrEP in your system to give adequate protection. That's not what I;m asking about but I think that's what you think I am asking.
  13. No, I'm not talking about fucking raw a certain amount of time after you've come off, I'm talking about when you go back on it after having been off. Once you've waited the full week to get full protection in your system, and you start having bareback fun with guys again, is the PrEP still going to protect you as well as it would have done the previous time you were on it before you came off? My understanding of what you're saying is no, each time stopped and then started again, the PrEP won't work as well - that you have to stick to taking it every day forever, basically, if you want to be fully protected?
  14. But I'm not talking about not taking PrEP and therefore becoming infected while not on PrEP. I'm talking about if you've stopped taking it, and you start taking it again, once you been taking it again for the amount of time said to be required for full protection (7 days?) are you still as protected as the last time you were on the drug before you stopped? You're telling me no? And also was asking how many times you can stop taking it and then start taking it again and still be protected well after having started. I'm not asking anything about fucking raw while you're off the PrEP , as I know that is likely to get you pozzed up.
  15. I was under the impression that when you're on the drug, it provides extremely good protection. No matter how many times you've stopped and started back on. If you're on it, you're protected. But it seems this is not so. You can't have breaks from taking the drug? So if someone started taking daily PrEP as a newbie, they'd really have to take it daily for the rest of their life if they wish to remain neg? If they take breaks from PrEP, the PrEP has lost effectiveness each time they start taking it again, so they can still get pozzed even while on PrEP ?

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