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I think somehow we actually are related ..... Not the day after the night before, but not too long after either. Sometimes I have to fold up a paper towel, put it where it doesn't belong, just to maintain some semblance of decency when I have to run an errand or whatever .... the cockdrool is like a faucet left to run.

First, thanks for that most interesting subject/question. The very word - "virginity" - implies a physical state of no experience of having sex with another person. But, the next question would/should be, what do you want your experience to be? Or if the subject is young, have you even considered that there are options? Your answer is spot on, in that there is now "connection" between the partners unless there is desire on both sides. If a guy who knows (or even thinks) he wants other guys, caves to the pressure and marries traditionally, would that count for "losing his virginity"? I would vote np, since his experience did satisfy what he knew he needs, and got something else instead. On the other hand, if a straight kid to jacks off with a buddy, is that to be considered "gay" sex? I would say no, in that two kids exploring what their bodies can do in no way implies anything more than a couple of curious kids exploring what their capabilities are. The interesting question would then arise: did one of the two kids experience something "more" than just jerking off? Your lovely description of your first "proper' time is evocative of a young man, formerly unaware, becoming acutely aware of one of his important needs, regardless of the condom. That experience spoke volumes to you, and that expression of your sexuality became an important facet (meaning, a part - not the whole) of your sexuality. It allowed you to understand that hard raw Cock fucking your hole was also an important facet of your sexuality. I'd call that the most fortunate event of your budding sexuality, since you're able to "connect" with other men in either position. Some of us can't say that. Of course, the virginity question is the type that any answer will fill, since generally it's the first time we actually "feel" - "experience" that meeting of the souls, via our cocks/holes since the term "virginity" has more meanings than merely the common one. Loosing our "virginity" is when we first feel that huge rush, the enormous thrill, the life-changing sexual cataclysm of having an emotional response - not simply a physical one. Thanks for that excellent post.

Many of us have endured that experience. What it involves is, asking question of ourselves: "What is more important to me? To gain some measure of acceptance from a group of people I see once a week?" Or maybe that answer might be "I most need to become the man I want/need to become, and I'll take from religion what I need to accomplish that, and leave behind what inhibits my personal growth. "Do unto others what you would have them do unto you", all the beneficial things are fine. What isn't fine, is restricting our personhood to suit someone else; that's nothing but a recipe for misery. I would have a hard time accepting that any one cultural tradition can outweigh the above; particularly since there are so many religious traditions competing for our acceptance. I certainly couldn't in my own life, and I simply don't believe in some pie-in-the-sky if we only surrender our truth to a cultural group of people with interests other than ours.

Someone has a career in writing PORN stories ahead of them !!!

LOL ..... I'm sure I recognize some of Grump's Cabinet in the video .... particularly that bottle-blonde with the looong, stringy hair .... Well-done send-up !!!

I'm really sorry to know that you guys are having such a tough time finding what we all need. Wish I had a somewhat decent alternative for the dilemma ....

Thanks for sharing this most interesting resource. It's a rainy, blah Sunday afternoon, and I finally took the time to listen - and found it well-reasoned, informative, and not totally "wonky". I haven't listened to them all yet, but I'll get there. I also look forward to some of the others, based on different subject-matter. Again, thanks !!

"I will continue moving on with my life, not to run away from the pain or anything, but because life is too short to stand and wait for maybes." Perfectly said.

Really !!! I'm so sorry to hear that ... and I know it's not like you just started yesterday ... not even eaten a well-bred hole? OK, BZ'ers ..... we need to give our friend a some helping (no, not "hand") LOADS !!!!

Ahhhhhhh .... then I understand better. The scene (as I initially read it) wouldn't get any guy very far in most fuckjoints. I was imagining that scene in a place like Slammer - and a "bossy bottom" wouldn't get very far - at all. Breeding with friends / acquaintances would be exponentially different - friends/buddies sating each other's lusts with a base-line of mutual friendship is a whore-se of an entirely different color. Thanks for that explanation.

Vacker !!!!!!!! (or, Beautiful, in English)

One easy answer to the problem, would be Tops simply avoiding him in the first place ..... or withdrawing when that issue rears it's homely head. We Tops aren't that far away - we can hear it too.

"So my biggest worry" seems the "quote" doo-dad is taking the afternoon off ..... One easy way to clear that air is to simply ask them if they have time to talk now. If they don't maybe they'll call you back when they do. I wouldn't worry about it - everyone gets busy sometimes. Are you doing any of the Bach Inventions yet?

Interesting .... Do you get an invitation (from the Top) first? Or just start the "directing/coaching" without waiting for one?

Since you're on PrEP, (and likely Pep), likely tested regularly, you've taken all the available steps to avoid those issues. The issue you're facing is one of Trust. Are you able to trust your friends, family, whoever? Is the ability to "trust" the issue? The use of restraints is something that needs to be "negotiated" in advance of the scene, and if you don't trust the guy when you're having a discussion in some non-sexual place (like a lunch-spot, sitting on a park bench, whatever), chances are poor you'll suddenly find that ability when both your cocks are hard. The point is to establish some level of trust as you spend a bit of time with him, before the hookup. If that seems unlikely, I'd suggest you demur with the best excuse you can come up with. Wait until you're ready to jump in with both feet.