hntnhole

True, and there is something akin to "making love" when that particular thing, characteristic, whatever, that just turns your crank is present in the other guy. For example, I just so happen to adore a hairy hole, for a number of reasons, and while I don't demean 'making love" at all, it's possible to get really close to "making love" when a physical characteristic that really pushes your buttons is present.

Or .... in case they don't, at least he wouldn't be invited to subsequent events in the first place. 😉

Within the Bd/Sm community*, there are some acts that simply are not acted out. *by that definition, I mean members of that community that are known to each other, and these men derive their identity, their sense of self, their dedication to their craft, and consider themselves members of a very special sub-group within the wider gay community. There are usually organizations in the major metro areas that exist to provide a communal space for men drawn to the Bd/Sm community, and the very last thing on earth these men would want is to have their reputation, their integrity, their dedication to Dominance or submission, or any other facet of their lives brought into question. Frankly, any member of the Bd/Sm community that disrespects the greater community (in the context of a scene) by acting in some way that disrespects the greater community, would be kicked out of that organization at the earliest opportunity. There are protocols that every member of any Bd/Sm organization/club respect, and earning a reputation of dishonesty in a sexual situation would be unthinkable to a man dedicated to this life. This is why these men form organizations/clubs in the first place; to support and defend each other whenever necessary. It's like a family bound by respect for each other as much as anything else. Obviously, the communicative "thread" is a special kind of sexual ritual, but the situation you allude to is something I've never heard of. That said, there are always outliers who don't respect themselves, let alone anyone else. These types seldom make it into a Bd/Sm club or organization in the first place, since new members have to be "sponsored" by an existing member before being allowed to join. In the scene you envision above, that Dom/Sir you allude to wouldn't have made it into any kind of Bd/Sm club. Becoming a member of any of the well-known Bd/Sm clubs is not an easy thing; referenced, all of that are needed. CHC* was the predominant one in Chicago - maybe still is, for all I know. NO member of CHC would want to suffer the humiliation of breaking his word - damaging his honor - anything like that. Thus, a man who feels "called" to Dominance or submission should always investigate the resources in his community. Guys that don't live in major metro areas should attend nationally-known events - International Mister Leather Contest, for instance - or any other similar event - to find resources in his own area. Clearly, a guy who's just discovering how this life might apply to him needs to find out about organizations similar, and contact that organization. It's a fairly close-knit community, and guys know and understand that protecting the potential initiates is paramount. The critter you're describing simply doesn't exist in the Bd/Sm community, and it's that community the newbie should be in contact with. A guy like the one you describe would not be accepted into any of the organizations. Most are located in major metro areas, of course, since men living this life aren't on every street corner. Gay newspapers (in major metro areas) would have listings including the organizations, clubs I'm referring to, and would sincerely welcome questions from guys interested in learning more, and would have a network of responsible guys willing to meet/interact with a new guy drawn to this special life. *Chicago Hellfire Club, down on Leavitt St, near north side. Any major metro area will have a similar organization. Thanks for the comment, rawinme; I hope I've made it a bit more clear.

The Bd/Sm community has had a number of "key words" for decades that apply to this issue. First and foremost: the negotiation. This is a meeting of the Dom and (would-be) sub somewhere neutral - a non-threatening place in public (often a cafe, to share a meal), or any place where a quiet-yet-crucial conversation can be had. This negotiation will lay out all the "limits" each man may (or may not) have, so both know what the limits actually are. This is crucial so the prospective sub conveys his desires to be fulfilled, as well as acts that he's not yet ready to fulfill. it's crucial for each man to know before the initial scene is to take place (generally at the Dom's place, since he's more likely to possess more "gear" than a sub who's just beginning his journey into submission), and the purpose of the negotiation is to outline the various acts demonstrating Dominance or submission, since not all acts of Bd/sm would be appropriate for a newbie to the D/s life. You should be prepared to state clearly to the prospective Dom what particular acts - if there are any - that you're unfamiliar with, concerned about - and the prospective Dom should do the same. Think of it as a "meeting of the minds" - a prelude to the actual performance. Any - any questions you have should be brought up for discussion, and definitely any concerns for your physical safety. There are no questions that would be considered "out of line". It's in the Dom's best interest too, to know where you are presently, in your journey into sexual submission. In the event that you need another meeting after the first negotiation (clear up lingering issues in your mind, etc), by all means ask for it. There are very serious consequences for "misunderstandings" during the requisite negotiation (of limits), and one way to earn the Dom's confidence is to ask him if he'll allow a phone call somewhere in the middle of the negotiation. That tells the Dom that although you're a novice, you're no fool either. Ask one of your friends to call you at a specific time during the negotiation, and tell the Dom that you've taken this precaution. It doesn't have to be more than you answer, say everything's fine, and hang up. Or, if everything isn't fine, convey that via some code word. It's a sad, terrible truth, but there are some guys out there that would take advantage of a novice, despite that act being the absolute opposite of what the Bd/Sm life is all about. Any Bd/Sm Master will only be impressed with your earnestness pursuit. If you need more information about anything, you may send me a private message, and I'll do my best to answer. And, heartfelt congratulations on taking this initial step. The Bd/Sm life can be more rewarding than you can possibly imagine, when the foundation is built on rock.

??? Reads quite well to me .....

That's true for me too. It's the connecting with my bros ... sharing our lusts, our depravities, our hunger, and being sated by giving my abilities, and receiving theirs. Besides .... I couldn't possibly come up with any where near an accurate number. Even if I could still blush, and someone-in-the-sky actually told me how many guys I'd fucked, I doubt I could manage a blush-ette. Those that were spectacular for one reason or another I definitely remember, even from undergrad days, and that was decades ago.

Just my usual .... but I did take a buddy over there again (he'd never dared to go by himself) on Sunday night. I figured it would be best if each of us drove over there separately (turned out to be a wise decision), so neither of us was "tied down" by waiting for he other to finally get enough. His car was still there when I left .... but I hadn't actually seen him in an hour or so. Got a text from him a little while ago ... I predict I'll see him over there rather regularly .... he loved it. At least he's ambulatory; he didn't call me this morning to ask if I'd walk his dog ......

That statement is as "spot-on" as your compositional work, which is First Class. No guy lives on sex alone; there are other things we simply need to attend to sometimes, and taking a break from sharing our seed with other guys is the last thing from abnormal. All of us have other things that must be attended to, and that's just how life is. That said, making that "break" the most productive it can be would be appropriate, for obvious reasons.

(with one small exception, hopefully .... that being 1600 Pennsylvania Ave .... somewhere north of here ... apparently there's going to be a "balling-room" there one day) 😁😃🙃😂

You, young man, were very, very fortunate in being trained by a Master that "knows the ropes" - literally.

My question would be, are you able to draw a line between your fantasies and reality? On a scale of whatever, how "sure' are you that he's even been watching you? If it's over 50%, then maybe he actually "is" available on some limited basis. Has he caught you checking out his cock/ass? On the other hand, (being 100% honest with yourself) is there any measurable percentage to this scenario that you might have manufactured or enhanced in your more lewd imaginary moments? It might be instructive to mention something - anything - about that 2nd-floor deck, and watch his reaction very carefully. Or, you could compliment him on how attractive is wife is, and watch his reaction. Frankly, I don't think it's too far a reach to say that any neighbor would watch you having sex in your pool. Who wouldn't ??? It happens around here all the time. How long did he watch for? Could you see if he got a hardon? When considering all of the above, it's just a plain old fact that people move to other areas, usually for work or whatever. If that happened, would you be disappointed with yourself for not making yourself "available" as discretely as possible? There's plenty of sexual action everywhere; it might be more accepted or less so in your area, but it happens everywhere.

Agreed. The "urge" to procreate, particularly in women, is a natural factor, of course. Females of all types are the suppliers of future generations of whatever species being considered. The "urge" to procreate in males is less strictly defined, and fucking almost anything can do in a pinch. Thus, males can fuck other males and feel they've done "their job" in a sensory way, the same as if they'd fucked a female. The "rub", I suppose, would be if the male actually felt some responsibility to regenerate his own kind - meaning a human. What I wonder is, now that the planet is very well-populated (some would say over-populated), does that fact impact the choice of gender the male aims his cock at? At this point (in world-population), we don't actually need the babies every man is capable of producing, so does that fact make it easier (culturally) to "allow" men to fuck each other merely for the pleasure of it?

As always, a timely and superb topic. Are you willing to accept certain ... well .... "foundational" interpretations/responses? 1. Given that what leaps to mind first, is the "learned" answer, by which I mean the culturally common response. For many, that would be Caucasian Americans, simply because by now there are more of them then any other discernable group. However, we Caucasians are merely the original conquerors of the Original Americans, that being the conquered Native Americans. Add to that recipe the peoples of African American descent (aka Black Americans, originally imported as "property"), as well as the host of folks from other parts of the world that came to North America in search of a better life. 2. Thus, it becomes crystalline that any/all peoples of any other place on the face of the earth, that arrived on these shores in search of a better life, willing to put shoulder to the (wagon)wheel, do what they needed to do in order to achieve their dreams of living free of overbearing rulers elsewhere in the world. 3. To this very day, the definition discussed in line-item #2 is completely and fully a part of our American life. There are less fortunate arriving daily, seeking a better life, just as out Caucasian ancestors did at Plymouth Rock. That process, the promise of America, has been a beacon to people of every kind and description that walk on two legs for centuries, and that process has made the US prosperous, advanced in human rights (save for the anti-human tragedy in the Southern States a century+ ago), and a last, best hope for the downtrodden everywhere. 4. It is the chance, the opportunity to live a better life, and thereby allow the same for their generations to follow, that most Americans cherish and offer to new immigrants to this very day. Despite the depths of selfishness some Americans have descended into, that dream of doing the best one can to uplift and welcome the new immigrants remains solid, constant, and unwavering. I still believe that the current undercurrent of selfishness, greed, anti-human behavior is an aberration, not a permanent infection on the American psyche. But, I'm only one of hundreds of millions of Americans. And now, tallsplendidboy, I'll listen to the broadcasts you've offered. ❤️

Of course. That's what I love about these "discussion" threads. I don't see any "quibble" in your reply at all. If you mean "I think the preponderance of men do have *very general* preferences about the holes they breed", I'm with you 100%. Certainly men have differing notions of what "type", what gender, what body-size/type, even extending to "racial" preferences (which I don't discount, but I'd rather not hear about it either). I think girls-cum-women are "taught" to be "gatekeepers" from childhood - I witnessed it to some extent as my younger sister was growing up. While it may also be 'carrying river water to the oceans' as well, it boils down to cultural roots, which we either honor, ignore, or create new roots which better reflect the men we've become. "That's a world I want to live in" We are nothing short of intellectual / spiritual brothers in that regard. Fortunately, when I first 'figured it out", I lived in a large enough city to find some of my own kind. Found even more when I went away to school. After graduation, moved to Chicago, where there was so much wanton action no one guy could ever experience it all - even if he never took time to eat, only had sex. Finally, moved to Ft. L., where there's even more concentrated into a smaller area, and there's no winter! So I can say I made the choice, as soon as I was able to choose, to live in "a world I want to live in". I think I was more fortunate than some guys, in that I was able to make choices that reflected the man I was beginning to be, and also reflected the man I became. In that regard, I have zero regrets. I hope with all my heart that you too have made decisions that have allowed you to become the best man you can possibly be. It's never too late.