hntnhole

yuk & double yuk ..... neh-ver !!!

The first time I attended Folsom in Berlin ... maybe 20-some years ago? I don't speak German, so at first, it was a bit ... would awkward be the right word?

And you were correct !!!

Really .... is there a market for them today? I haven't seen it in years, but I know there's a decent-sized box of them somewhere ... maybe the garage ....

Obviously. This introduces a new question into the discussion, and you stated the answer perfectly. If the two men care for each other deeply, and they've been sharing sex together for many years, and one guy simply cannot keep his partner sated due to health (or any other, for that matter) concerns, the obvious solution is to re-negotiate the terms of the relationship. The "still-able" partner may feel guilty, even with the blessing of his partner, but at least the issue has been honestly addressed. That is hardly "cheating", it's the direct opposite. I've been around for a while, and this has happened to friends (2 were fuck-bud couples, 1 wasn't), and recognizing that the other fundamentals of the relationship was on solid ground, I was able to help mediate, because I knew each would be a lesser man without the other. Two were successful, one not so much. But the underlying caring each man had for the other (these were long-term relationships) held more power than the alternatives. While sharing sex together may seem like the glue that was holding the relationship together, it's not the only glue. The "catch" is that each guy in both those successful cases was the underlying love each held for the other, which turned out to be the strongest glue, not the sharing of sex. I don't find that solution "the least bad", in that the real foundation was preserved. Foundational to the entire issue. Perfectly put. As always, you hit the nail squarely on the head. There is/was something missing in the relationship from day (or perhaps more likely night), one. Cheating - or dishonesty in general - eventually rots the character of the cheater, and the sorrow is that they seldom realize that fact in time to make some corrective changes. I see the notion of "getting one over on my partner" as symptomatic of a guy who has yet to come to terms with becoming what our Jewish buddies call "a mensch" - a real man. Thanks for the great response.

Exactly. Far more productive in the long run. While some guys don't want anything like a "long run" relationship, which is entirely their choice, most humans want/need/enjoy a substantive relationship with a life-partner. Thanks, JiminWis, for the incisive response. Of course not. It's up to each individual guy to figure out what he wants out of life, and what he doesn't. More, whatever he winds up doing (relationship-wise), is his business and no one else's - other than a partner if/when he comes along. It occurs that this kind of "relationship" is founded on something less than bedrock. Relationships are living things, and when 50% of that relationship has a fundamental issue with the status quo, it's the responsibility of the other half to at least listen, try to understand his partner's needs, and try to come up with an acceptable solution. Otherwise, it may not have been much of a sharing relationship in the first place. A "flat no" is hardly an appropriate response, and I can easily understand the "fuck-it" result. Every person in a relationship deserves to have his issues heard and addressed. It's not like relationships are static, carved-in-stone entities. They're living, breathing, entities, and they need to be looked after. At least some do learn before the crash. Thanks for your addition to the conversation.

I'm guessing that the new owner was/is completely at sea trying to run the business, is losing money, and trying to hang on by wringing every last dollar out of the clientele. Obviously, that's the last thing he should be doing, and I hope some new owner with a bit of competence turns up.

Sooooo ... I just looked the term "side" up. All it seems to mean is a guy that enjoys a lot of sexual activities with other men, except fucking or getting fucked. Everything else is on the table. How the word "side" has any descriptive correlation to guys fucking (or not) escapes me. Maybe what we used to call "side-saddle" ???

Agreed. The shock of not knowing which of your friends/fuckbuds/neighbors would be around by the time next week rolled around was more than enough to make guys of all kinds withdraw from the action, and quickly. There was a fun bar over on Broadway called Loading Dock, and the second, back-bar area was where everyone fucked. I remember going over there with my other half during the earlier days, and there were guys just standing staring at this pair of men, completely naked, fucking bareback. Shocked, stunned men - maybe 25 or 30 of them - just staring in disbelief at these two. We figured that both were already positive, and just thought they'd continue to fuck right up until the last chance to do it, knowing they'd both be gone soon. Guys who never went through it can emphasize, and that's to their credit, but they'll never comprehend the depth of the horror.

As a matter of history, the faded Hollywood B-movie "star" (who, coincidentally played sidekick to a chimpanzee), and then ran successfully for President - the man who never once allowed the descriptive acronym to escape his painted lips - could have done better than almost anyone else in the country to raise the alarm. But no, he retreated to his fevered imaginative 'city on a hill' script while thousands died. Maybe Randy paid too much attention to Cary, and the above-referenced Bonzo went nuts with jealousy ....

Welcome, negkinkybottomcub & ArdmoreKimberly - and thanks for joining up. We hope to hear more from each of you again soon.

Maybe not the first time, maybe not the twenty-first time. But they cheated-on guy always knows at some point. Reactions can be nothing apparent (i.e. completely internalized) to Showdown at the F.U. Corral. I wonder how 'hot' the cheating is then. To each his own, I guess. But at some point, they always, always know.

One question: When are you being published ???

This is something I don't quite "get". Exactly who decides which person is an "influencer" and which person isn't? Are folks so empty that they need to be told by some "influencer" what's what? What happened to self-determination? What happened to deciding for ourselves what we'll do and what we won't? What's important and what isn't? Have we turned into lemmings, rushing mindlessly to the cliffs ? I just don't get why so many people willingly give up their own, self-determined identity, goals, aspirations, and I don't give a rats ass about what these so-called "influencers" have to say.

We'll be waiting .... slicked up messy hands, maybe - but we'll be waiting !!!

I think that most bottoms sense a bit of calling to "service" in themselves. That service-oriented mindset can find expression in all kinds of ways (social, community, etc), and for we barebackers the outlet for that calling extends to one of their most fundamental instincts - to service Cock. That is essentially a completely valid expression of their make-up, their innate sense of need to serve the greater good. Bottoms (and especially cumdumps) are basically service-providers, in the highest definition of "service". Those deep sighs of pleasure we hear are expressions of fulfilling their purpose, and satisfaction in completing the cycle of bonding we're all drawn to. However fleeting, that moment of completion is of tremendous value for bottoms. Not just the physical/sexual pleasure of taking loads, but the emotional fulfillment that comes right along with the Sperm pumped up their guts. I don't think they'd do it if there weren't a sense of following their truth as well as the sexual thrill.

Except this one !!! Sure, there are a handful of anti-social guys on here, but there's a lot more decency and interesting exchange of thoughts on a wide variety of subjects near and dear to our magnificent community. Don't let some calcified road-apple of a guy get too far into your Calling. You have more worth in your little toe than that idiot has in his entire existence. Go ahead - flush him - over and done with.

All I can offer is my own experience: I met my life-partner at the tubs, doing what he loved to do right next to me, doing what I loved to do. Without going into all the then this happened, then that happened, we became a couple, whose relationship was founded on the principle that each of us would take pleasure in the other's sexual Lusts. We hit the bars/backrooms together, sometimes we'd go to different bars, sometimes one of us would stop off mid-day for a quickie at some abs, and that only made our bond even stronger. If he was a little late, I knew exactly where he was and what he was doing. If I were a little late, he knew exactly what I was doing. It made my Cock haaaard, knowing he was sucking off Cocks at some gh. He always loved when I picked some guy up to bring home, and the reverse was just as true. In 30 years, only once did some kid think he was going to get pushy, which is when he found out the hard way what "pushy" really means. I vote for being completely open and honest with one's partner, and from day-one. There's really no good reason not to.

Well, there are health-related issues that can arise from putting one's mouth on a well-fucked Hole, tonguing out the Sperm off previous Cocks .... so maybe a discussion of ass-to-mouth (or better, mouth to ass) is appropriate. I'm sure that's how I've picked up a bug occasionally.

I don't think any guy hits a homer every single time he's up - it's a shame you received such mistreatment, but there are plenty of morons out there that somehow think shaming others will make themselves feel less badly about who and what they are. Doing it under the anonymity of the web is doubly damning of their emptiness. Try not to take it to heart, and know that there are plenty of men out there that treasure men like you.

Don't let it mess with your mind. Accidents happen, and your turn just happened to come along when you were anticipating a milestone being achieved. Other guys will be able to offer more technical advice on how to avoid a "curtain call", and you did what you thought would work. This was just the insurance companies call a "no-fault" crash. Forgive yourself, and move on. Your Hole is too valuable to waste on "what-if's". It's allllllmost Saturday night - so do your prep work, go get into your hides , and get your ass fucked full tonight !!! Enjoy the hell out of it.

As far as I know of the tech at the time (which was very little, and even less-so now), it must be an easily-done activity. I'm sure some of the more tech-savvy guys here could be helpful. Anyone ???

Are you serious ??? Five G's a scene in the '80's ??? No wonder that one guy drove a Ferrari !!! We all thought some sugar daddy bought it for him .....

Some guys have longer, slimmer Cocks, and can relatively easily rut in a tight Hole. Some guys have shorter, thicker Cocks, and can't easily get into a Hole that hasn't already taken a few loads. Thus, it's up to the Top to use what he's got to best advantage. For guys that own the latter type, some tongue-work is in order to open things up a bit, assuming the bottom hasn't been taking much yet. We share what we have, and use it for every other guy's pleasure, as well as our own.

"What turned you into a bare pig?" Is there anything wrong with being born to it? Isn't it possible some of us always were, but had to wade through some cultural/religious bullshit before we could recognize that fact, and begin to act on that recognition? Learn to follow our own sexual path, despite the pressures not to? I don't think anything other than self-realization allowed me to become the man I am. If I didn't have a cast-iron backbone (read: hard-headed confidence in my own thought-processes) I have no idea what I wouldn't have grown into, but it surely wouldn't have been as exciting as the man I did grow into. Never settle for "less-than". Always insist on "best-possible".