How Open Are You With Your Doctor?

[TigerMilner]

I recently learned that my Immunologist has abruptly left the practice that he helped found 25 years ago. I really had an amazing rapport with him and valued this relationship and am upset at having to find a new doctor for my HIV care.  Today I went for an intake appointment at a new clinic.  I sat thru a 10 minute lecture on condom use that sounded like a badly written pamphlet.  I found it an annoying waste of valuable time.  I told the nurse that I did not have unprotected sex because I was unaware of the risks.  I told her I did it because it was hot.  I thought she was going to faint.  She asked me if I thought that sounded logical?  I asked her if skydiving was logical?  Snowboarding?  Riding a wild bull?  No.  You can get killed doing that kind of thing.  But the rush makes it worth doing.  Same thing.  I explained that I'd rather be upfront and honest about my habits so I can get the care I actually need than waste both our time talking about condoms when I have no intention of using them and after 30 years of raw sex, I'm not likely to start. 

 

My question is how open are you with your healthcare provider?  Do you just listen and take the free condoms and throw them away or do you feel it is important to tell them you take anonymous loads and go to sex parties and expect a syphillis test on every visit? 

 

Am I crazy?  Are my expectations unrealistic?

Edited February 6, 2015 by TigerMilner

[Bttm2go]

No you are not crazy. I have a gay doctor and I am open about everything with him. He is better able to treat me because i don't hide anything from him. He knows what to look for and doesn't waste time and money on useless tests or medications. Keep searching until you find a doctor you can have a solid relationship with. Your health is too important not to. Good luck!

[cumslut23]

Why not be 100% open? Doctors are usually smart and realize the only they can help you is if you are honest with them. Mine tried for a couple of sessions to talk me into safe sex but realized very quickly that that is not going to work and that I'd rather change docs than get a rubber anywhere near my cock or ass

[fillmyholeftl]

You need a new doctor immediately Tiger... Maybe you should get your healthcare on this "coast"...

[757neg4poz]

I was honest until I was flagged as a "non-compliant patient" in an electronic medical records system by a vindictive doctor. I've stopped seeing doctors because I've been effectively blacklisted.

[gwmxyz]

Some of them think it’s about convenience - can’t be bothered etc.  Can they be that naive?  Like BBRT or hot breeding vids on X-are there for the profoundly lazy?   ...or most straight sex?    Maybe that's for babies....

v clever people can be least perceptive  - but never realise it.  I'd just take the lectures - even if they get it, which is unlikely by the sound of it, nobody likes being told when they're wrong.   Much more likely they will just put you down as the crazy slapper & carry on oblivious...

[not_sure_bb]

always be 100% honest with your doctors and lawyers

[SFPOINTMan]

I recently switched doctors after I discovered a debilitating reaction to my meds that my other doctors ignored! I'm at AHF and quite happy. AIDS HEALTH FOUNDATION. I know they are nationwide not sure if they are in your city

Edited February 9, 2015 by SFPOINTMan

[hairyone]

... 

 

Am I crazy?  Are my expectations unrealistic?

You are not crazy.  Remember, the doctors are working for YOU.  And don't hesitate to remind them that.  As your "employee" they need to know everything to do a good job.  If they will not work under your conditions, ask if they can recommend a doctor who will work WITH YOU.  Then, fire their ass.

[bbinbpark]

Was this bad experience with the Doctor or the Nurse?  If I read this right the nurse was the issue for sure.  I would give it at least one more visit and explain to the doctor your concerns.  Most doctors & nurses that work with sexual transmitted diseases and/or the ER have probably heard it all before (though I have seen the videos so you may give them a run for their money )  If they insist on lecturing you again, leave for sure.  I would explain to them, if you ask for a referral that is, that you don't feel you are getting the care you need since they are not focused on your needs.

[seaguy]

I have a gay doctor so I am honest to a point.  He doesn't lecture just tells the risks and latest STD news like anal warts are making the rounds...etc..I don't want to lie but I also don't want to be telling all unless it was something pertinent to my continued health.

I was honest until I was flagged as a "non-compliant patient" in an electronic medical records system by a vindictive doctor. I've stopped seeing doctors because I've been effectively blacklisted.

you just have  not found the right doctor, look for a gay one.  Some snatchy pharmacist at Rite Aid once made my middle name Coupon because I was using the $25 transfer coupons too much in her opinion, fucking cunt.  I called Rite Aid corporate and had that removed 

[jeff238]

Not at all. He doesn't want to hear it. Small town doc. He's a good MD but too closed minded straight. I asked for an HIV test once. He said I had to go to counciling before I could have the test done. Such bs. Looking for a new doc now, but hard when u live in the stix.

[ctbarebacker]

I am 100% open with my doc.  He is gay and we use to fuck around before I pozzed up.  Since Prep has surfaced we're back at it.  It's great having such a close relationship.  Even if I wasn't fucking him, I'd still want to tell my doc everything, I didnt' go to medical school. I agree with Tiger.  I tell the medical staff everything and I don't worry about their reaction.  If they didn't want to hear this shit then they need to work someplace else.  I once had to tell this sweet young nurse the reason I was there was that I took two BBC and they tore me up inside.  She almost fainted when I described the fucking.

[evilqueerpig]

My Doc is gay, POZ and quite a hottie.  Unfortunately, he seems strictly vanilla, so I'm not completely honest with him.

[bbzh]

I vote for being honest with your doctor up to a point. If you've pozzed and he/she is any good, they know you are at high risk for other "nasties" and will check you for them anyway on a routine basis. They have seen it all. But if you choose to spare them the details - e.g. I was at a sex party and took a dozen loads - then at least tell them you occasionally "slip up" and/or do your own research to stay up to date as well. I think it's a bit much to ask a health care professional to validate your choice to be a slut. Sure they shouldn't be lecturing you, but maybe it's also unrealistic to expect them to make you feel great about being a slut and possibly spreading the "nasties" around. Imagine if they took the opposite stance and recommended that "repeat offenders" be quarantined or registered in a database somewhere. That wouldn't be cute at all.