"throuples" Or Triads?

[atlfukbud]

My partner and I have been open for most of our relationship and have had plenty hot, bareback sex both separately and together, while traveling, etc... but the best sex has always been with our regular FWBs (maybe we’re just relationship oriented?). Anyway, over the past 2 years, we've accidentally/unexpectedly developed a very loving and mutually satisfying relationship with one of those FWB's to the point that it feels like we're in a Throuple, Triad or 3-way relationship. The "L" word is used, we practically live at each other's houses, travel together constantly, and so forth. I also just met another Triad locally that has been together successfully for other 11 years. It seems to me that most people bring in a 3^rd for hotter sex and/or to meet some unmet need in the couple –the latter of which is generally disastrous and leads to all parties going their separate ways. Therefore, I'm curious to know if other's have had similar experiences with this and/or what your thoughts are in general about polyamory vs. just being a good gay whore?

[Guest SBBOY]

I've always been interested in a throuple type relationship. I met a throuple in NYC once (through a friend and not in a hook-up way)

 

They seemed really happy, it was still early days for them just about a year I think. Not sure if they're still together now or not

[WolfinSheepsClothing]

I was part of a throuple for several year when I was younger.  we had to end it when I moved away for grad school and they could not transfer to the area.  as long as there are no jealousy issues, which can be hard, they seem to work.  I wish you luck with yours.

[Guest bbbearlover1]

In an ideal world, I would love to create a Dom/sub family with two white male subs.  It sounds like your situation is on a solid path, and that gives me real hope.

[atlfukbud]

Thx bbbearlover... Dom/sub family framework sounds totally hot to me! I'd like to be an occasional weekend guest ;-)

[eightndeep]

My husband and I, both in our early 50's, have been together 30 years this December, and we have been in a relationship with our 'boy' in his early 40s for going on 7 years now. It is not an equal relationship. It started as sex with the boy as sub, and grew into our spending more and more non sex time together. Now we are more like a family. We do not live together. But the boy spends days at a time with us and some holidays with us. From watching Drag Race to working on the farm, to playing elaborate board games, there are a lot of activities we share which bind us.

It was all based on his coming into our relationship at a time when sexually we were bored and frustrated with each other. I found a switch flipped in me from mostly bottom to mostly top, and the boy can take my dick like my husband cant. The boy also provides outlet for kinks my husband has little interest in. Mostly though, theres just a synergy when we have that boy spitroasted on our dicks. Its hot filling him with dick from both ends, and we all get off from it.

About a year in we all tested and fluid bonded. We love tag teaming the boy's ass bareback. Often one will fuck and breed him followed by the other. I mean who doesn't like to regularly fuck a pre spermed ass? Recently we did a dp for the first time (which I never like in porn) but wow tight having both our dicks in him. Didnt take me long to blow my load . . and feeling two dicks and a load bare . . Quite a treat.

My husband isnt as horny as I am, so when the boy is here I fuck him one on one quite a bit. Things have evolved over seven years, but it still seems to work. I think the boy's presence has been very important in helping my husband and I keep sexual relations open between us when we might have otherwise have given up, as happens in so many ltrs. And I think over time our 'chosen family' unit has superceded sex as the glue. It is definitely a loving arrangement.

Edited April 1, 2016 by eightndeep

[atlfukbud]

Thanks for the post eightndeep! It sounds like you have definitely created an awesome and unique family. Do you think your boy will ever want an equal relationship (with you two or in general) or want to live with you guys or is he fully content "as is?" To me it seems that love/emotions can be difficult to compartmentalize over time and once you're in love, how do you say "we're primary, you're always secondary?" More curiosity than anything.

 

Like you, I'm the HORN DOG in my original relationship and find that it's been great fun to DP, split-roast and have an equally horned up 3rd around regularly to push limits and fun. Plus who doesn't love an instant orgy at bedtime?! While I LOVE to bottom -- especially w/ BBC stud, we're all fairly versatile within the relationships. Personally, I think bareback and breeding are as necessary as kissing to intimacy and feeling connected with your boys/family/tribe!

[tallslenderguy]

I think this is a great topic. I believe one of the advantages of being "gay" (read: "different from the norm") is we can question norms and be creative about what works. I think the notion many monogamous couples have that one person can fulfill them is really pushing it. It seems healthy to me to spread desires and needs around with people who are compatible. I think the idea of having a primary relationship can have some benefits, but it makes sense to me to question the norms the come with heteronormative culture. We rarely eat meals with only two ingredients. or only two items of clothing or.... Who says we only need two people in relationship?

[eightndeep]

Thanks for the topic atlfukbud.  Your question 'Is he fully content 'as is'?" is in fact the $20,000 question.  

(And is that insanely hot pic you btw?)  

 

When we first met the boy he was less than a year out of a maybe-not-so-healthy long term relationship from which he was rather cruelly dumped.  I think our double dose of dick and attention without the pressure to define ourselves, as happens in one on one relationships, was good for him at the time. 

 

There are many reasons for us not having a three way equal relationship with him.  For us, I would say for my husband and me having a relationship 30 years now is damn hard work - negotiating, listening, talking, considering, compromising, merging with another person.  Demanding with one other person.  With two . . .idk.  Doubt it could happen with us.  Not having to do all that with the boy is a great facilitator to our relationship working.

 

The boy doesn't have equal rights.  But then he doesn't have equal responsibilities (nowhere near equal).  It works.  It's fair.  I think tallslenderguy said it perfectly about there being no rules or norms.  

 

Our boy does want a primary relationship of his own very much.   We 100% support his finding that. Always have.  I think/hope the boy has come to realize though that the reduced benefits and reduced burden of being secondary, insofar as it works in his life and he's happy, is a fine thing.  The happily-ever-after Adam and Steve fairy tale is just that.  

 

For some years the boy was dating and worrying about how and if and when to come out about us to any potential mate.  At least one got scared off.  I think I have him convinced though, in his dating world where there seem to be so many men who want to couple but seem to utterly lack the skills (seriously nothing wrong with being single!) that his seven years with us shouldn't be hidden, it should be at the top of his resume!

 

So recently sure enough, the boy is out of town.  He hooks up with a 26 year old.  Being out of town and not fraught with the this-might-be-the-one pressure, he tells all to this hottie WHO IS TOTALLY INTO IT and says sure he can take a lot of dick.  FUCK YES just imagine.  Even if not sexual I think it at least reveals the idea that a primary relationship for the boy could/should/would be an addition to our family, not an end to it.  

[atlfukbud]

Thanks 8Ndeep! excellent perspective and I appreciate your candor -- I couldn't agree more, relationships are tons of work...they hold up a near-constant mirror and provide us the opportunity to stretch and grow, when we don't like what we see - -that can be multiplied/synergistic with all of our various relationships. Cheers to you and yours!! (and the pic is actually me inside one of my boys!)

Edited April 3, 2016 by atlfukbud

[KindaBasic]

I think it is a great arrangement if all three people care and respect one another.

[atlfukbud]

Ran across this article and thought you might be interested -- http://www.pride.com/gay/2015/11/19/10-reasons-every-gay-man-should-try-throuple-once

[BiGeekySlut]

Im poly, bi w a girlfriend in atlanta. We dont have sex, as im not interested in her sexually, but more mentally and emotionally. Shes been with me through a lot, which i why i love her so much. Shes bi as well, and us being poly makes it easier for us to have sex/relationships with same sex people, or even hetero.

I myself would be interested in a throuple, hell just a regular bf that can understand poly. Ive never dated a guy, just played w a lot sexually. As i get older, i want more, i want love, or a very deep connection. Two guys...whew oh yeah. Might be fun sexually, but getting all three people to connect on some level, even equally, is hard enough.

But yeah, would be nice.