College Boy with Internal Tension

[evilqueerpig]

As a philosophy major, you need to reconcile your academic life with your sex life!  If PrEP is not an option, accept the fact that becoming POZ is a possibility, but don't let anything keep you from being you

[MuscledHorse]

Just a thread side note:  WOW! I've always kept my education (4 degrees and several certifications) out of the dialogue because I never believed there were any/many well educated guys out there that are massive sluts like I am. Really happy to have been wrong!  

OP: get on PreP!

[bbaremich]

I agree....I think there are many guys that live very conservative, intellectual lives outside the bedroom but inside the bedroom, they are a nasty pig. I am definitely one of them. My friends have no clue how dirty I am.

[subbytch]

19 hours ago, FunCollegeTwink said:

I suppose I just wanted to post this, and see what you all think.  

Sex is fun. It's relaxing. It's exhilarating. If you live a life of the mind, the physical connection from being fucked and bred is just as important. If the sex you go after is also kinky, that's not surprising either. There is research that shows kinky, s/m sex gets people out of their heads and into the moment. It's all pretty wonderful. Plus, you are in your 20s, so hormones.

The only alert I see is that you back out of going on Truvada for PrEP. I know many people on here want to seroconvert. Yet, you aren't positive, you love having sex, and PrEP allows you to have as much ass fucking with the least amount of risk for HIV science allows for. (Near zero.) Add hep and HPV shots and antibiotic PEP after being slutty, and you have the most comprehensive protection -and- the most pleasure available. There's zero difference  in pleasure between being on PrEP and taking a bare cock and not being on PrEP and taking a bare cock.

Have a long and rewarding academic career -- and get gang banged for just as long and with just as much reward. There's no reason to feel guilty. There are plenty of reasons for using the best technology available to minimize the risk of an adverse event.

[rede4it]

Not sure if this adds to the conversation but I am a former college level educator, who was intentionally infected this past New Year's Eve by a full professor/math department chair at a local university.   Some of this conversation reinforces my belief that the true desire to be infected comes from some where unknown.   Looking at my circle of POZ friends, age, race, education, economic situation are WIDELY different.  Yet we all made our choice as if driven by an unseen force.

And for the record, I am actually unsure of who infected me, but as I have written other places, last New Years was by far the most likely time----or at least the time that makes for an incredible memory.

[FunCollegeTwink]

Thanks for your messages guys, I really appreciate it.  And I have to say, many more people responded than I had expected, and I definitely am grateful for your candid advice and input.  Knowing that a lot of other guys either are or have experienced the same things that I am is encouraging to me, so I'm really glad that I posted on here.

Given the comments, I think that I'll talk to my doctor about PrEP next week.  I am still neg now, so having confidence that I won't get infected (with HIV, at least) might make me enjoy the sex even more.  And, while I definitely do enjoy the risky element of not being on PrEP, I don't know if that feeling will go away if I begin taking it so I might as well try it.  I already have been vaccinated for HPV as well, so maybe PrEP will help me be even more uninhibited and able to enjoy the moment while having sex.

[FunCollegeTwink]

6 minutes ago, rede4it said:

Not sure if this adds to the conversation but I am a former college level educator, who was intentionally infected this past New Year's Eve by a full professor/math department chair at a local university.   Some of this conversation reinforces my belief that the true desire to be infected comes from some where unknown.   Looking at my circle of POZ friends, age, race, education, economic situation are WIDELY different.  Yet we all made our choice as if driven by an unseen force.

And for the record, I am actually unsure of who infected me, but as I have written other places, last New Years was by far the most likely time----or at least the time that makes for an incredible memory.

Thanks, rede4it!  There definitely is something about the unknown that I find alluring, and something about experiencing it as well.  That is probably why I enjoy the risky element so much.  Are you happy that you got infected with it?  It's just that HIV cannot be cured (yet, at least), and so if I do get infected with it there is really no going back. 

[Guest alwaysready]

you are a chaser. period. how often do you get tested.  I don't think you want to be on meds. I think you are craving infection, or maybe reinfection.

[Guest alwaysready]

On ‎8‎/‎26‎/‎2017 at 0:20 PM, MuscledHorse said:

Just a thread side note:  WOW! I've always kept my education (4 degrees and several certifications) out of the dialogue because I never believed there were any/many well educated guys out there that are massive sluts like I am. Really happy to have been wrong!  

OP: get on PreP!

I love the idea of a well-educated man. much more interesting. though I have to say that those labeled as poor white trash, or rednecks are often the least inhibited of all.

[BreedingTop71]

On 8/25/2017 at 8:27 PM, FunCollegeTwink said:

Honestly though, part of me is seriously considering that I might just be a chaser as well.

Maybe you are. But until you are 100% sure you want to get knocked up and you discuss this with a doctor, get on PreP. You can always drop the Truvada to get infected later if you so choose. You cannot drop the virus

[BreedingTop71]

19 hours ago, alwaysready said:

I love the idea of a well-educated man. much more interesting. though I have to say that those labeled as poor white trash, or rednecks are often the least inhibited of all.

I agree. I have two masters degrees and the best sex i ever had was with men who barely made it through Middle School

[Guest alwaysready]

http://these guys seem to be able to let go, not be ruled by middle class morality. plus they are usually charged up on T.

[evilalex]

You say you're compartmentalizing your academic life and your sex life. But why? Merge the two. Study some aspect of sex. You're still an undergrad so you've still got time to focus your concentration. 

When I was a grad student at McGill, there was a PhD student in Religious Studies who was also a huge gay slut. I think he also had HIV. McGill is a pretty conservative school, but still, no one cared. He felt no need to hide who he is from the academic world, and you shouldn't either. imo

[HardaddyMA]

One of the above posters referred to the chance of long-term side effects of Truvada and it is worth remembering that EVERY drug- EVERY decision - has side-effects. After being HIV+ for 30 years and diagnosed when the first AZT pills were being prescribed- we were thrilled to take ANYTHING that would keep us alive- Now we know that a lot of the drugs were over-dosed and among the long term affects I suffer from are severe nephropathy  from BOTH the disease AND the meds I took to keep the virus in check. 

I guess the advise I'm offering is that there are no simple answers and no black and white solutions- EVERY choicehas consequences! IF I was your age  and had the extraordinary gift of benefiting from all my sexual experiences (of which I have many) I doubt I would go on Prep, but that is a solution that I would only suggest for myself-  I think you should follow your own conscious and trust your own judgement - and LIVE the life YOU want!  AND NO REGRETS either way!

[bbaremich]

On 8/29/2017 at 3:43 PM, HardaddyMA said:

One of the above posters referred to the chance of long-term side effects of Truvada and it is worth remembering that EVERY drug- EVERY decision - has side-effects. After being HIV+ for 30 years and diagnosed when the first AZT pills were being prescribed- we were thrilled to take ANYTHING that would keep us alive- Now we know that a lot of the drugs were over-dosed and among the long term affects I suffer from are severe nephropathy  from BOTH the disease AND the meds I took to keep the virus in check. 

I guess the advise I'm offering is that there are no simple answers and no black and white solutions- EVERY choicehas consequences! IF I was your age  and had the extraordinary gift of benefiting from all my sexual experiences (of which I have many) I doubt I would go on Prep, but that is a solution that I would only suggest for myself-  I think you should follow your own conscious and trust your own judgement - and LIVE the life YOU want!  AND NO REGRETS either way!

I agree that no drug is without its risks and side effects.  Truvada has a risk of both kidney function decline and decreased bone density. I am way less worried about the bone density than the kidney function. Clinical trials show a very negligible loss in bone density. Kidney function is monitored quarterly by your PrEP physician so you know your kidney function is at least within normal range. Most people see a slight decline in kidney function when starting Truvada but it is still within normal range and it isn't anything that you actually notice.