Sex with straight guys

[hntnhole]

On the "Causes Anxiety" scale, I tend to give what other folks think about me around a 1, maybe a 0 (or, a negative).  It's wasted energy, time, effort when I could be doing other productive things.  My neighbors, friends know I'll do what I say I'll do - not do what I say I won't - and be there for them when they need me. 

The rest is nothing more than a fart in a windstorm.

[tallslenderguy]

17 hours ago, BlackDude said:

I wish gay men fetishized other gay men as much as they did straight men. 

i do. i have no desire to be with a man who doesn't wanna be with me just as much, and i want as much connection as i can get.

[Opensesame]

19 hours ago, BlackDude said:

I wish gay men fetishized other gay men as much as they did straight men. 

There is no lack of fetishizing amongst gay men: bears, twinks, silver daddies, POZ, aidsbone worship, ginger, PIGS, and on and on and on

[ErosWired]

6 hours ago, Barebackbottomno said:

fuck the labels.

I don’t recommend this. Peeling them off your cock afterward is a bitch.

[BlackDude]

2 hours ago, Opensesame said:

There is no lack of fetishizing amongst gay men: bears, twinks, silver daddies, POZ, aidsbone worship, ginger, PIGS, and on and on and on

True. But all those guys are “beneath” straight men in the gay sexual pecking order. 

[Opensesame]

3 minutes ago, BlackDude said:

True. But all those guys are “beneath” straight men in the gay sexual pecking order. 

Maybe in you’re experience. Seems to me that it depends on who you’re taking to. As for the pecking order For instance on this site, the chasers would far prefer a poz person and many prefer BBC to any straight guy.

[DarkroomTaker]

2 hours ago, BlackDude said:

True. But all those guys are “beneath” straight men in the gay sexual pecking order. 

Who says?

[BlackDude]

2 minutes ago, DarkroomTaker said:

Who says?

Certainly not me. But I can sure find tons more of posts/profiles online looking for “straight” men than looking for the categories above. 

[fskn]

2 hours ago, BlackDude said:

True. But all those guys are “beneath” straight men in the gay sexual pecking order. 

I'm trying so hard to conclude that gay men's fetishizing straight men isn't a big deal, but you are right.

Your observation about the fetish pecking order made me laugh. Here are words I remember, verbatim, from a gay erotic story that I read either in a print magazine (which dates it to 25+ years ago) or online in the Nifty archive (which means it might be a few years more recent):

"... but this cock was the real thing. It had made babies. ..."

To add to my amusement, the one student in my graduate program who was married and had a child bragged about the same thing, in a non-sexual context. "I've proved my masculinity. I've made a baby."

No one could tell him that we saw how tired and unhappy he was from being married and having a new baby, when the other graduate students were fucking and having fun. I couldn't tell him that I'd read his line previously, in a gay porn story.

Edited February 23, 2022 by fskn

[DarkroomTaker]

24 minutes ago, BlackDude said:

Certainly not me. But I can sure find tons more of posts/profiles online looking for “straight” men than looking for the categories above. 

Well IMO, straight as it is put; is a misplaced fantasy, if a bloke puts his cock in a Mans ass or Mans mouth anytime of the day or night or even embraces kissing and he is married with children, is he Straight? Er let me think?? No he isnt or better still Define straight as I may be completely misplaced in my view.

But again labeling people, categorising people takes so much away. At the end of the day who really cares? Live a fantasy but just enjoy what you get, lifes too short.

Edited February 23, 2022 by DarkroomTaker
Typos

[Guest]

On 2/16/2022 at 1:22 AM, rock-cock-jock said:

Growing up, I think every single gay guy fantasizes about straight cock, and likely gave some semi-serious thought to various strategies that could make that happen (at least I did). Unfortunately, in many cultures, there's a huge stigma against straight guys doing gay shit with kind of a social penalty of being labelled as weak, less masculine, weird, etc. So, there's definitely a challenge in the social logistics to bringing em over to the gay side. Now, there might be some naive skeptics reading this thinking "What rubbish! Straight guys cant go gay. it's a hard wired piece of neurophysiology, part of their identity. Straight guys aren't attracted to gay guys nor do they fantasize about gay sex or gay kinks. They only like women, it's futile to even bother and that's that." Well, let me tell you something, you're HUGELY mistaken. Yes, I'm quite certain that a quite substantial chunk of the straight male population, at least in North America, have over the years come to dibble dabble in the homo pot.

Yes, definitely and more than you’d expect. I’ve been hosting anon hotel pump and dumps for quite a number of years across NA and I’d estimate a consistent 30+% of my respondent demographic to identify as straight, and often married (usually dad types in their 40s to 50s). I’ve also had quite a few straight male friends over the years that were ok with me giving them a blowjob from time to time when I suggested it, some even did anal. It’s a different dynamic of course- no intimacy or those kinds of emotions and more of a sexual convenience type thing, and some even have weird ideas about kissing (too intimate or something?) or eye contact while you're sucking them off. Most of my blow buddies (this was during university) were most comfortable getting blown in the dark, usually late at night after beer (and sometimes 420) with me taking the initiative. Having said that, a few years later, I had two separate straight regular fuckbuds (at different timepoints)that were not only ok going bareback top AND bottom but also progressively got into kissing and body contact and all that stuff. Still straight, no lovey dovey type feelings (unfortunately, because I had heavy crushes for both) but were open to more hardcore stuff. I will mention (mods, please don't kick topic into backroom for this) that one of the fuckbuds had a coke addiction and he mentioned that the first couple months we met up, it was always and only prompted from being high. Strangely though, midway, he was able to stop his coke addiction and yet we were still fuckbuds for a couple more months until I had to leave town. 

Over the years, this has kinda become a fetish of mine (not in a creepy way) of making friends with certain straight guys and seeing if they would be up for a blowjob (damn, it really does sound creepy when I write it down). Some types of guys tend to be more amenable than others and I think half the battle is being able to read their disposition before popping a suggestion. This is pure speculation on my part and it doesn't always work out at all but some traits that I think kind of stand out to me are 1) the guy is comfortable with the concept of casual sex and has experience with it, the sketchier the approach (doublelist, any sort of online forum/chatroom, hookup apps) the better. Sometimes there's just a kind of a vibe that the guy is very sexually  open to whatever. 2) Tattoos - I have no idea if there's a connection tbh but more often than not, the ones that say yes for me have a tattoo. 3) They experienced gay stuff when they were younger, either sexually abused by a male relative or jerked off with friends, whatever. I have a straight suck-bud here in Calgary that had the former happen to him and when I asked him about it, he said yeah even though he's straight somehow there's an association between the details of his abuse and being sexually turned on. He doesn't think of it as reliving the abuse though but rather he said that it's an enjoyable experience and it's his own way of having a degree of control over things. I don't really understand his description tbh but childhood experience as a predictor makes sense because they've basically already crossed that first psychological hurdle of trying homo fun 4) Alcohol (420 etc) - I don't know if alcoholism is a trait or if the alcohol is simply a tool to lower inhibitions or if being drunk gives them the excuse to go for it, I'm not sure, but I think it's something worth keeping in mind. Overall, I personally think that there is a continuous spectrum across male straightness the same way there is a spectrum across gayness/queerness. I also think that the huge cultural stigma against straight guys trying gay stuff has become less prohibitive for whatever reason. In any case, the moral of the story is that there's a solid portion of the straight male population out there that's open to indulging any residual straight fetish you may have lingering from your teen years. Don't be pushy or weird or creepy about this, especially in public, but for a select few, under the right circumstances, with the right social navigation, that cock can be all yours! 

 

Very well written. Nothing wrong at all with you making friends with straight guys to see if they would be up for a blowjob. The best blowjob I've had was from a gay guy he was amazing. 

[hntnhole]

2 hours ago, DarkroomTaker said:

At the end of the day who really cares?

I'm with you, DarkroomTaker.  I've kept myself from saying much on this thread, since it seems a bit lacking in substance.  Of course we should all do what we need to do, provided we do it with care and grace.  I don't "fetishize" any straight man, pseudo or otherwise.  Producing offspring is some sort of proof of anything?  Any of the late-night comedians on tv could shred that notion with scalpel-like precision, and we'd be laughing our asses off.  I have my own fetishes, and if some father of many offspring has his Hole up in a darkroom, I couldn't possibly care less.  If his Hole is full of loads off other Cocks, he's on my radar, and - in that moment - regardless of anything/everything else - he's as queer for my Cock as I am for his Hole.  

I can accept that online ads for "straight" men, written by guys that mean "masculine" men.  Dull is as dull does.  But in the end (!), what counts is the behavior.  If some self-proclaimed straight man wants to fuck other men, then so what?  Let him proclaim his Martian Citizenship for all I care.  It's the behavior that counts, and precious little else.  

 

[gingerdaddyG]

“A man’s a man for ‘a that”, to slightly misuse a line penned by Mr Robert Burns. The label doesn’t matter to me…

[rock-cock-jock]

Perhaps I wrongly assumed that fantasizing over straight guys was a universally shared experience for gay guys growing up? Because alot of these posts criticizing the straight guy fetish don't quite seem to get the appeal or have somehow lost the ability to relate on a personal level with this fetish. I think for me, it was because I grew up closeted in a small town with an extremely homophobic mindset (murdering exposed gay guys was a very real thing in this neighbourhood) so no sexual outlet and anything gay was kept secret and just pure fantasy. The internet for porn wasn't really an option either so all of my jerk off fantasies were guys I saw on a regular basis like friends from school, friends of my dad, my sister's boyfriend, the gardener, etc and maybe because my young hyperfocusing developing brain was also making a template for attraction, it pulled in all sorts of social cues like how straight guys banter in a group, or how they look when they're trying to impress a girl, of the kind of calm gravitas a mature husband has with his wife. Perhaps this is the basis for my fetish, not at all  due to some label or some arbitrary assessment of his cumulative sexual experiences or whatever, but simply that some cues, physical, social or whatever, trigger an image in my head that turns me on.

In that regard, is it really a misplaced fantasy? As if to say we had control over what our fantasies are - maybe control over acting on our fantasies, sure, but fantasy is in and of itself borne of the subconscious and trying to attribute fault to such is inconsequential. As for the argument that all this is meaningless and fucking any and all guys is the correct perspective, well, just because you might be an omnivore, does that stop you from having favorite dishes? For that matter, having a fetish isn't something one should be ashamed of having because it's intimately personal and not consciously chosen, any more so than what we find attractive. So, variety is the spice of life and having a straight guy fetish doesn't preclude any other exclusivity (unless you have evidence to suggest so?), nor should it be considered a top-down label-based social construct - the essence of it is simply a set of cues like any other fetish that turn you on.

[evilalex]

I fantasized about straight guys when I was growing up. I had to, there was zero gay representation in the media, and I didn't know anyone who was openly gay. I had a lot of gay sex in jr high and high school, but those guys consider themselves straight today. Honestly I don't really feel that comfortable around straight men. I'll blow one though. Especially if he has a gf waiting at home. I like the power it gives me over them- I know their secrets.