LTR with a Cumdump - Feasible or Fantasy?

[Ieatcumholes]

I realized more than a few years ago that I'm not really "Relationship Material".... That hasn't stopped me from trying, but every time a relationship ends that little voice inside me says, "But you already KNEW that!"

So, I've come to the conclusion that the perfect relationship for me would be with a Cumdump. (Note my screen name.) Not only would he be allowed to sleep with as many other men as possible, he would be encouraged to do so on a regular basis in order to bring me a cumhole to enjoy! I only have two rules for such a relationship:

1. Your cumhole is always available to me
2. When you get a cumhole, you bring it home for me to enjoy

I don't think either one of those is too onerous. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

Over the last 6 years, I have had serious talks with three different guys about entering into such a relationship. And in all three cases, the guys disappeared for weeks or months only to resurface after I had already moved on. The first guy lived on the East Coast of the US (and I'm on the West Coast). We had gotten to the point where I was ready to fly across country, rent a U-Haul and drive him and his stuff back to California. Then he dropped off the face of the earth. Turns out he had reconciled with an ex and was exclusive to the point that he couldn't even contact me to let me know what was going on. 

By the time he realized they were exes for a reason and the ex hadn't changed his spots, I was talking to guy #2. He lived in the southern part of the state. We had gotten to the point where I was ready to fly down and visit him and if everything was as good in reality as it appeared to be through conversations, I would've relocated to his area. He disappeared. Turns out he had gotten really sick, was hospitalized and almost died. By the time he resurfaced, I was in a (non-cumdump) relationship.

Last December I talked to another guy from the southern part of the state. He has family in this area and was coming up for the holidays anyway, so he was going to spend that first night with me with an option for spending the whole weekend together if we hit it off. Didn't show, and no contact for 3 weeks afterward. (I actually think he's a catfish if he's even male-identified. But that's another story for another thread.)

My general rule of thumb (applied to many different situations, not just sex) is that once is a fluke, twice is a problem and three times is the Universe sending me a message.

Is a relationship with a cumdump just a pipedream that I should give up? Has anyone had such a relationship that was successful? Would self-identified cumdumps be interested in such a relationship? Or should I listen to the Universe's message that I shouldn't be in such a relationship?

[blackrobe]

15 hours ago, Ieatcumholes said:

I realized more than a few years ago that I'm not really "Relationship Material".... That hasn't stopped me from trying, but every time a relationship ends that little voice inside me says, "But you already KNEW that!"

So, I've come to the conclusion that the perfect relationship for me would be with a Cumdump. (Note my screen name.) Not only would he be allowed to sleep with as many other men as possible, he would be encouraged to do so on a regular basis in order to bring me a cumhole to enjoy! I only have two rules for such a relationship:

1. Your cumhole is always available to me
2. When you get a cumhole, you bring it home for me to enjoy

I don't think either one of those is too onerous. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

Over the last 6 years, I have had serious talks with three different guys about entering into such a relationship. And in all three cases, the guys disappeared for weeks or months only to resurface after I had already moved on. The first guy lived on the East Coast of the US (and I'm on the West Coast). We had gotten to the point where I was ready to fly across country, rent a U-Haul and drive him and his stuff back to California. Then he dropped off the face of the earth. Turns out he had reconciled with an ex and was exclusive to the point that he couldn't even contact me to let me know what was going on. 

By the time he realized they were exes for a reason and the ex hadn't changed his spots, I was talking to guy #2. He lived in the southern part of the state. We had gotten to the point where I was ready to fly down and visit him and if everything was as good in reality as it appeared to be through conversations, I would've relocated to his area. He disappeared. Turns out he had gotten really sick, was hospitalized and almost died. By the time he resurfaced, I was in a (non-cumdump) relationship.

Last December I talked to another guy from the southern part of the state. He has family in this area and was coming up for the holidays anyway, so he was going to spend that first night with me with an option for spending the whole weekend together if we hit it off. Didn't show, and no contact for 3 weeks afterward. (I actually think he's a catfish if he's even male-identified. But that's another story for another thread.)

My general rule of thumb (applied to many different situations, not just sex) is that once is a fluke, twice is a problem and three times is the Universe sending me a message.

Is a relationship with a cumdump just a pipedream that I should give up? Has anyone had such a relationship that was successful? Would self-identified cumdumps be interested in such a relationship? Or should I listen to the Universe's message that I shouldn't be in such a relationship?

Since my nature became clear to me, I've known that monogamy was a non-starter. What I've learned is that, while I love and crave offering up my receptive hole to many men, I do crave a deeper bond with a breeder or breeders that can add deeper meaning to my life. Any version of that involves them enjoying and supporting my nature, as I support and enjoy their own nature and need to fuck and fill other men. Going out and getting filled with cum for a man you love or are bonded to so he can enjoy it just makes everything better for me. The only thing better than that is staying home and doing the same thing for him while he watches.

I think the kind of relationship you're looking for is possible. I think it's just an additional layer of filtering that makes finding the cumdump you can have a connection with more challenging. I think doing it when the cumdump isn't local to you, and he isn't one of your regular cumholes you've grown to want more from, is even tougher.

 

[hntnhole]

15 hours ago, Ieatcumholes said:

(Note my screen name.)

1.  I did, months ago.  You and I are cut from the same damn cloth.

15 hours ago, Ieatcumholes said:

Not only would he be allowed to sleep with as many other men as possible, he would be encouraged to do so on a regular basis in order to bring me a cumhole to enjoy!

2.  That is exactly what I had in a relationship for about 3 years.  I met him off BBRT, he came over right away, and had just taken some loads (he told me so).  As outlined in some previous thread, sexually we were a perfect match.  I told him often to get online and get some Cock over to Breed his Hole.  He'd been taking loads in this area for several years, and the only new guy involved was me.  That man made my Cock hard just looking at him; we went to the orgies together, hosted smallish (4,5 men) groups, hit Slammer together, we did it all.  And we enjoyed each other's company.  Sexually, it was ideal.  When I had some other commitment, I would send him out for loads, and enjoy his Spermed Hole later.  

15 hours ago, Ieatcumholes said:

I don't think either one of those is too onerous. Please correct me if I'm wrong

You are the last thing from wrong.  It's entirely correct to ask those two very simple and easily fulfilled requirements.  Any Cockwhore loves to be validated, supported, encouraged in his Lusts.

Your situations ended for different reasons than mine, however.  What finally ended my "fantasy" was the fact that he became more and more addicted to drugs, and the resulting dishonesty, attempts at craftiness, deceit, on and on.  As he sank lower into that life (which came on relatively quickly - a matter of 6,8 months) I began to realize that while I offered him complete sexual fulfillment as well as my friendship, he became more and more resentful of anything I asked.  Then he lost his job, lost interest in anything other than taking loads.  I had seen this happen before to friends (a couple of very good friends back in Chicago), acquaintances, and I already knew how destructive addiction to fuckdrugs is.  So, I gave him the gate.  While I adore cumdumps, I will not support a drug-addicted one financially.  While some may think of me as a Daddy, there is no prefix spelled s-u-g-a-r available.  

So, yes.  There can definitely be a great relationship with a cumdump, and  your parameters (at least as mentioned) are entirely generous and appropriate.  More, I hope, now that you've run through the three "Universal" attempts, you can expect to find the right cumdump for you.  That said, you may want to add a 3rd requirement to the original 2 .... No Drugs Tolerated.

 

[rock-cock-jock]

Yes, this is also a huge concern for me. I might be fine with being in an open relationship with a guy that had a similar perspective on sex and I think the core sort of rationale would be that a love-based relationship  is separate and apart from just physical sex. I could see it being a little unstable but maybe working out. Some guys can and do make it work after all. But, it really depends on what outcomes you want from a relationship I think and compromising with what's feasible-what exactly has been sacrificed is what leaves me uneasy. So, I'd be lying if I said that I'd be on board 100% and that there wasn't some part of me that wished I could have approached it normally with a great guy and done it properly. What I don't like about a compromise is that it avoids the root problem, namely that cumdumping is a manifestation of our brain's dysfunctional risk-reward system, namely a bad feedback loop of consistent prompts for increasing hits of dopamine (same way a porn addiction pushes you toward increasingly perverted porn topics as it progressively lessens your d2 receptors). I don't think entering and developing a normal relationship would be quite the same as compared to if entered with a healthy risk-reward system, simply because we would perceive the world differently and especially be insensitive to key moments that need you to feel something at the time. Can you really be sure that things like the first kiss will be as emotionally charged and meaningful as it should be? Or will you just feel more of a depression-related monotone caused by overstimulation? I think it's also possible for your brain to do unintended albeit unfortunate things like falling into a sexual mental pattern you might have used with previous casual partners, such as after having sex a few times then lose interest because of the lack of novelty. I mean, you could certainly fake your way through it with enough planning and effort but that's not really doing it properly is it? I may be overthinking this but atm my mindset is that if I decide on doing a relationship properly, I think it makes more sense to first commit to going cold turkey on my fucked up sex lifestyle for a few weeks and give my brain a chance to reset to normal which I think would be difficult but doable.

[leatherpunk16]

I can relate well.

Across the street from me is a friend. He's sexy, but physically not my type. Just his face, plus he's a kind and stable person. And he's a cumdump. I was the first of 19 guys who nailed him this past Christmas Day. We have been on a few dates since we first met in October 2021, and I grew to like him. A LOT. So much that I felt I was on the edge of falling for him, he's just such a sweet and gentle man. 

Imagine my heartbreak when he told me he's not interested in having a relationship with me! I asked him just before Christmas if he would consider the possibility. He said no. He'd rather be a cumdump. I explained that I wouldn't take that from him, it's part of who he is, and I accepted it when we met. Didn't matter. He's not interested. 

Haven't seen him since I fucked him that Christmas. We've talked, and tried to make plans, but he's a busy guy. I think he's afraid to let me get close to him like that. Can't change it, so gotta move on. He's not going to budge just because I want it. Disappointing, but it IS reality. 

[atlfukbud]

In my experience it takes some maturity and mental or developmental work to get to this point. Personally, love the idea of a horny top and cumdump relationship--you'd likely need a foundation of friendship or attraction or cultivate it over time. Given the option I would have signed on for such a match! Ultimately, Relationships are messy -- have fun but proceed with caution!!

[MuscledHorse]

The possibility is absolutely feasible. BUT you have to find a partner who isn't insecure--and thanks to the sexually toxic values brainwashed into most of western culture via Judeo-XIan dogma, this can be like searching for a needle in a gaystack. My other half and I reject sexual monogamy as unnatural and unhealthy for the male, and there is research that supports this. For us, sex is a Pleasure sport among males as Nature meant it to be. To that end, we both play and encourage each other to enjoy ourselves with other guys. He ahs even been the camera guy on some of my porn scenes. It works because we understand that sex is NOT synonymous with Love as the religious dogmas market it to be. Sex and Love are more like overlapping Veen diagram circles. The challenge is the Jealousy factor, which culturally inbred at this point almost form childhood. That's the factor where we are told the relationship is based on Love when in reality it is based on Jealousy of the Other. The validity of the whole thing rests on the promise to never have sex with someone else and if you do, everything else about the relationship was a lie and it's all over. And this whole idea is built out of the absurd religious notion that sex is a holy sacrament, meaning the primal act of sex is dirty and sinful unless it occurs under specific conditions (a sexually monogamous relationship between two people married in holy matrimony) and then-somehow--it's never explained--but somehow this dirty sinful act magically transforms into the Ultimate Expression of Pure Love. If you can find people who have seen this for baseless fraud it is and have moved on to where they can be emotionally committed to another partner or partners and not think anything of the primal promiscuous sex drives that fuel us males, then you've found what you are looking for. And it is difficult. We have a couple we have played with several times (together and solo) and one of the partners is insanely jealous when his other half gets played with even though they are both supposedly open. That's a huge sign of deep seeded personal insecurity on his part, harkening back to the culturally instilled notion that if sex happens with another, and it's good sex and chemistry, the playing partner might leave him in favor of the other person. So yes, you can find a partner like I was blessed by Asmodeous to find, who encourages my promiscuous behavior, yet we still Love each other deeply and at the end of the day we know the other comes first in our lives.  Hope this helps. Jared, Apostle of Lust

[rock-cock-jock]

@MuscledHorse I agree somewhat with many things you said. First, that sex and promiscuity are natural human behaviors. I'm sex positive as well and agree that sex is something to be enjoyed not demonized. Yes, evolutionary biology suggests that humans likely originally had a promiscuous dynamic back in hunter-gatherer days. It's not until population increased and social units became more focused that constraints on sex became a behavior. However, it's notable that all modern and historic cultures, even primitive aboriginals outside civilization, have some form of sexual constraint behavior (as opposed to demonization of homosexuality which is very variable) which suggests a more universal bottom-up pressure outside of culture, religion etc. As for reasons, who knows?fear of sti's? Social control? Nonetheless, considering the distinction between genetically predisposed unrestrained sex and socially-imposed constraint, who knows what other physiological function is affected by limiting sex? who knows how society could have developed if demonization of promiscuity/homosexuality weren't a thing? Maybe there'd be less loneliness and depression in the world or maybe just better communication in general, dunno.

Second, sex is not love but it's certainly not unrelated to what many people perceive love is. Repeated sexual encounters, particularly ejaculation and the few minutes post-coitus, via primarily dopaime, serotonin and oxytocin transmission, leads to the habit-forming neuronal association of pleasure and comfort with the other partner and context, in many the same ways as to how drug addiction occurs. So yeah, many times when we think we're in love, it just means that we've become a dependent addict (withdrawal=why breakups are so hard). It's not unreasonable then that jealousy occurs from a fear of loss, so if I did enter that kind of open relationship there would need to be clear rules like capping repetitions, no cuddling etc. that absolutely could not be broken. I like to think that real love has a social component though that also plays a part and may also be why some couples choose monogamy to focus on developing that form of deeper meaning for their relationship. Otherwise, will there still be love if your sex drive vanishes from dysfunction/old age? Also, can asexual couples fall in love? I'd like to think so at least, in some form or another.

Edited February 20, 2022 by rock-cock-jock
Replaced banned word with demonization; typos

[Ieatcumholes]

Been a busy few days. Thanks to everyone who has replied so far!

@rock-cock-jock and @MuscledHorse it took quite a long time, but I finally got to the point where I can separate love and sex - just because I have sex with a man doesn't mean that either of us is or will become in love with the other. That reason, coupled with the fact that I crave variety in all areas of my life, is why the thought of a monogamous relationship holds zero interest for me. My partner would have to understand that me having sex with another man is just that (sex) and not a threat to our relationship.

@blackrobe the above said, while I think I could be satisfied with the variety presented by a cumhole partner, I would still leave the door open for me to have sex with other men.  If my partner can sleep with multiple men in a day (with my blessing and encouragement no less!), then I should be able to sleep with another man whenever the urge strikes.

@blackrobe I would love to find a local cumdump and see what we could build together in terms of a relationship. But so far all the ones I've found who are interested in the kind of relationship I described have not been local. 😞 

@hntnhole Yes, you and I are cut from the same damned cloth except for the fact that you've experienced the kind of relationship I have only longed for to this point. I do appreciate where you're coming from with "no drugs tolerated" especially since I don't do (non-prescription) drugs. But I think such a caveat would unnecessarily open the door to secrets and lies. If the person I'm playing with uses drugs, fine. A guy I used to play with semi-regularly who was an Engineer by day would use non-prescription drugs when he played. Not my thing, but it helped him to be ready, willing and able for a long session. (This was before I realized how attracted I am to cumdumps.)  So, win-win in my book. Since I haven't been in the situation yet with someone whose need for such substances turned into an addiction, I'm not 100% sure how I'd handle it. I did have an experience with someone on another site who consumed while getting ready to meet up with me to the point where he couldn't even take an Uber to get here. That told me everything I needed to know. So, maybe I do know how I'd handle such a situation within the context of a relationship.

On 2/18/2022 at 11:35 AM, hntnhole said:

While some may think of me as a Daddy, there is no prefix spelled s-u-g-a-r available. 

I hope it's ok to say I 😍 you for this! I'm at the age where "daddy" is inevitable, but sugar is not even in the picture!

On 2/18/2022 at 11:50 AM, rock-cock-jock said:

I think it's also possible for your brain to do unintended albeit unfortunate things like falling into a sexual mental pattern you might have used with previous casual partners, such as after having sex a few times then lose interest because of the lack of novelty.

This is definitely why monogamy is not my thing. And, yeah, that's probably true about me and casual partners too.

On 2/18/2022 at 7:53 PM, leatherpunk16 said:

Imagine my heartbreak when he told me he's not interested in having a relationship with me! I asked him just before Christmas if he would consider the possibility. He said no. He'd rather be a cumdump. I explained that I wouldn't take that from him, it's part of who he is, and I accepted it when we met. Didn't matter. He's not interested. 

Sorry to hear that. One thing I've come to realize is that I can't live anyone else's life for them. While you can see that nothing would be different for him in terms of being a cumdump, he apparently doesn't see that. And nothing you can say or do will convince him otherwise. And that could just as easily be about him and not about you. He could have the mindset that he can only be a cumdump when single and when in a relationship he has to be monogamous. And he could have no idea where that belief even comes from inside of him. (Reference @rock-cock-jock's first post.)

@rock-cock-jock, as with my response to hntnhole, I'm not all that inclined to impose rules on a relationship in general. I know myself well enough that if I'm told I can't do something, that just makes me want to do it all the more. So I wouldn't be surprised at the same behavior/desire by my partner. I was in an open relationship with a guy who told me I could sleep with other men but he just didn't want to know about it. And I didn't sleep with anyone else while we were together. But I could have if I wanted to. If I'm in a relationship with a cumdump and either one of us finds someone else they want to be with more, our relationship has run the course it was meant to run. If it were my partner who moved on, I'm not going to pine over what is gone. To flip an old adage, "The best way to get over one man is to get on top of another one!"

[hntnhole]

10 hours ago, Ieatcumholes said:

@rock-cock-jock and @MuscledHorse it took quite a long time, but I finally got to the point where I can separate love and sex - just because I have sex with a man doesn't mean that either of us is or will become in love with the other. That reason, coupled with the fact that I crave variety in all areas of my life, is why the thought of a monogamous relationship holds zero interest for me. My partner would have to understand that me having sex with another man is just that (sex) and not a threat to our relationship.

Actually, I have come to understand that love and extra, "outside" sex are not mutually exclusive.  When two (or more) men accustomed to a lot of sex with many partners learn to love each other, the first block of stone in the foundation of that budding "relationship" is that they're both (or all) sexual Pigs, confident and accepting of their Lusts, and the following blocks of stone (i.e. building a relationship) must be built in full recognition and acceptance of that first block of stone in the foundation.  Any thing else would be building a relationship upon a foundation of sand, which is the definition of "unstable".

Men who simply love sex with countless other men are just not going to give that up for just one guy(s).  The affection, love they feel for each other must be inclusive of their Lusts, and each must love and revel in the other's wanton Breeding urges.  The very word love encompasses all the characteristics of the other - or it's something other than love.  We don't want to to change who and what we are - we want to be our honest selves within a relationship - and build upon that wholeness of sharing each other's need to give/take Sperm off as many Cock/Holes as they need or want.  

10 hours ago, Ieatcumholes said:

I hope it's ok to say I 😍 you for this! I'm at the age where "daddy" is inevitable, but sugar is not even in the picture!

More than ok !!! With THAT tongue, I'd eat wet Holes and felch them back and forth with you any day !!!  To the rest, I've worked all my life, and whether or not I have a couple of nickels to show for it isn't the point: I'd expect some kind of sharing not only of Lusts, but living expenses as well.  No one praises the Lord for free anymore - and the clerics never have. 

 

10 hours ago, Ieatcumholes said:

But I think such a caveat would unnecessarily open the door to secrets and lies. If the person I'm playing with uses drugs, fine.

Well, we do diverge on this one.  It's from experience on my part that I won't accept habitual drug use.  I've just seen too many guys lives ruined or even ended via suicide.  I would have no limits in a relationship re: outside sex - I would encourage it.  That said, I draw the line at the junk that alters one's mind.  I simply wouldn't trust a guy that's addicted to mind-altering drugs. Smoking a joint is one thing - but the rest is a non-starter for me.  

 

10 hours ago, Ieatcumholes said:

such as after having sex a few times then lose interest because of the lack of novelty.

And where's the problem with novelty wearing thin?  There are tons and tons of Pigs out there ... it's the behavior that's important, not the individual Cock or Hole, right?

11 hours ago, Ieatcumholes said:

If I'm in a relationship with a cumdump and either one of us finds someone else they want to be with more, our relationship has run the course it was meant to run.

     Yeah, nothing lasts forever, but to me, that doesn't mean we shouldn't accept a loving relationship when the opportunity presents itself.  To me, honesty is the key - even if the definition of that "honesty" would be enshrined in the foundation of the relationship as not disclosing every Cock, every load, every single time.  The crux of the issue is, each guy in the relationship knows the other is a sexual Pig, and that means each of them will eat, sleep, walk, talk, go to work, come home,  have a beer, get a haircut, go to the store, the whole panoply of our lives, and take/give loads as their Lusts dictate.  Together, separately, each guy loving the other in Freedom from judgements, control, accepting of each other's carnal requirements. 

[FelchingPisser]

One of the joys of being gay is to set our own rules for relationships--it's about what works for the two of you!  And that will be different for every couple...

[Breedthisslut]

I am an unfulfilled cumdump that would love to find a partner that could accept my need to be a cumdump. I have a couple of semi-regulars that would like to a bigger part of my life, but they want exclusivity. I have another friend who would love to be a cumdump with me, but he’s married(to a guy). I have another fuckbud that is open to me being me but he’s into meth and I can see that it’s going to fuck him up. 
I continue to search the SF Eastbay for my dream partner and I’m optimistic that I’ll find them.

[ohmalewhore]

Ever since I took on the idea that I was attracted to men, craved the need to be filled with cock as often as I can get it, and began to really enjoy every moment a man gave me as he used me as his cumdump, I never once thought about a relationship. In fact, a relationship with a man was the furthest thing from my mind once I started down the road of serving men, getting fucked by men and enjoying the feel of a man's touch all over my skin as he used me. Just the mere writing of this makes me tingle and makes me want to dress up and go prowling for cock.

But prior to Christmas, not long after Thanksgiving, I had a chance encounter that changed my life. I was pumping gas into my car at a nearby truck stop. A trucker spotted me, liked what he saw from my tail section and just on the off chance I was what he needed, approached me. His flirtatious nature and curiosity won me over to slipping off with him to his rig and giving him my body for the next few hours. But each time we've spent since then he's become much more than just a "random encounter."

He's now my "Pimp Daddy" and my lover. First he started out wanting to show me off to other truckers who were lonely, needy and horny. But over that course as I was taking loads from these 6 different other men, "Daddy" and I got closer. It wasn't as much about the loneliness of his cock and my ass but of our two hearts, bodies and minds needing one another. One night we admitted we each had "feelings" for the other and just a few nights ago we shared an intimacy that rarely is ever done .... not only did he make love to me but he then asked me to enter him, to put my cock inside his ass, and to make love to him. I've not fucked a man/gurl since the very early 2000s and really never wanted to do so again. But when Daddy asked me, I could not resist.

It's taken our relationship to a more meaningful level and a whole new level too. Now instead of texts telling me when he's coming on a run, when he's dropped his load at the destination and when he's within an hour or so of "our truck stop" he calls me. We talk. We laugh. And instead of getting right down to sucking and fucking, we converse as we're kissing, caressing and making each other feel special.

Yes, I still fuck other men. Yes, the 6 other truckers still get at least one day (if they're in the neighbourhood) to fuck my ass. But when Daddy's headed in, the entire evening is his and his alone. Last time we started with a dinner and then went back to his truck. Next time we might meet at a different location for dinner or he might just pick me up in the truck and go out to dinner and then "retire" to a bedroom to make love. He enjoys that I'm still a "dump" for his needy friends, but I think sooner rather than later he's going to ask me to stop. And when he does, I will. There's something amazing about him.

[hntnhole]

Heartfelt Congrats, ohmalewhore ....  Sounds like you and your Daddy have arrived at the perfect solution for both of you.  Thanks for sharing your experiences with us.

Best wishes to you both.

[Ieatcumholes]

I'm extremely happy for you @ohmalewhore!

@hntnhole my feelings about drug use come from a hypothetical place. Yours come from a place of experience. If I were in a relationship with someone who was going down the spiral of drug use and my best efforts weren't enough to help him, I probably would have to distance myself from him. And that experience would certainly color my experiences after that. But I haven't been there, done that yet, so I can't make a blanket statement about it.