Jump to content

How many of you are in relationships?


Recommended Posts

So I'm curious as to how many of you are in a long term relationship and how you make that relationship work as a barebacker? 

As a middle aged slut, I've always found relationships difficult. The initial high soon wears off and I begin feeling claustrophobic. It doesn't help I fnd it difficult meeting someone sexually compatible. I'm vers bottom when it comes to sex, and I love being a slut in the sauna.

I need freedom, but potential partners have difficulty with that. There's also the risk of passing on an STI, which is part and partial of being a barebacker. 

So how did you meet your partners? Are you free to play away? How do you deal with the risk of an STI?

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My partner and I have been together 4.5 years. He was originally dating a friends with benefit buddy of mine and they were together two years & then two of us started dating soon after. We are both bottoms so early when we agreed to enter into LTR we had a very open and honest discussion about how we navigate sex as neither one of us showed any interest in becoming top or more vers and we both were men who had active sex life that  wish to stop. Don’t get me wrong. He and I fuck each other however it’s not often and when we do it‘s more out of a need to cum than anything. We do however enjoy oral sex greatly with each other. 

We both are honest with each other and we both have freedom to seek sex when we need it. Both together and separately we attend BB parties, occasionally go to the bathhouse, and we both have top friends we meet up with and we regularly introduce each other to new tops we like. If I have to guess we probably have sex at least 2x a week with other guys. Some times we invite top friends to fuck both of us or some times it’s just one of us who wants to do something on our own. We do enjoy going to BB parties and events however we haven’t done this in a while due to Covid. 

Our rule is that we use good judgement to be physically safe. No sleepovers. No sneaking around and getting tested for STDs regularly. We are open and honest and we let each other know if we plan to have a guest over or going to meet with someone. If he tells me he’s going to bathhouse tonight & I don’t wish to attend, that’s fine. 

I am very fortunate that my partner and I are pretty good together and understand each other needs 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Been together with my husband for 20 years now and been open relationship for 19 of these 20 years. 

We play together with others as well as separate. We go to sex parties and clubs together and separate.

We whore each other at sex clubs and regularly host sex parties. 

We both take care of each other in every sense of the way. But we always come home together and we fall asleep in each other's arms. Even if our holes are full of 50 other mens loads 😀

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My BF and I have been together for about over two years. We're both on PrEP and enjoy barebacking. I'm a total bottom and he is versatile but has his "bottom needs" that I can't fulfill. What's funny is that I met him on here. He messaged me about my first story. From the beginning, we had lots of discussions on what we wanted out of a relationship and found what works for us. The one thing we've both learned a long time ago was to distinguish the difference between having sex and emotional attachments. We do have a Daddy that we see occasionally which we met after we began seeing each other. I can service both of them and my BF can get his "fill" too. We may play separately, but it's rare and will usually play together. I love seeing him take a cock. We both travel for work, though less during the pandemic, and have the understanding that we are free to enjoy ourselves during that time with others as long as we're responsible and aware of our surroundings. We're also lucky to both have doctors that we can openly talk to about any concerns we may have.

 

  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a little over three years. She knew I was bi when we started dating—that was one of the primary reasons for my divorce—and I told her I wasn’t sure whether I would need to have sex with men again. About eight months in, I told her I would need to fuck guys again. She agreed to open the relationship, and we started setting boundaries with the help of a couples counselor. So now I get to take cock and cum in my holes once every few months. 😈

Edited by 11bi11guy
  • Like 2
  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 hours ago, badjujuboy said:

The one thing we've both learned a long time ago was to distinguish the difference between having sex and emotional attachments.

This really is the base of my relationship with my partner of 5 years. We are both bottoms and what keeps our relationship drama and jealousy free is that we are able to distinguish between intimacy, which we have, and sex, which we have with others. While we rarely top each other, our form of intimacy is when we share blow jobs, when we jerk off together, the cuddling and kissing, and dimming. When we go hook up with others, that intimacy brain turns off and for both of us it’s just sex and need to fill a sexual urge. Because we are able to understand how these two things are separate, we are able to have great and drama free sex life. 
 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Us. Me -the poz half of PozTales duo- was afraid of being involved in a long-term relationship after I got pozzed. I have always enjoyed sex with regular fuckbuddies and that was all. 

Till I met the asshole -I say it playfully- who's currently laying down next to me. 

It was hard to tell ourselves we are a couple, we always called each other "friends with benefits" but trust and care for each other grew stronger and stronger every day. 

After we discovered our mutual sex fantasies and had a hard long period of silence and mutual anger before we embraced them totally, our bond became even stronger. Always keeping our sexual freedom of course. Me undetectable, him on PrEP, we're two consenting adults, our partners too, we didn't even want to set whatever rule up. 

And it also happens we enjoy turning ourselves on, by sexting with people here who share our same kinks; extreme talk by messages, is a way to add some spicy components to our real sex life. 

Jealousy for chats or even real encounters, does not exist. We've got trouble like other relations, it's _not_ a fairy tale. But we do our best to make it work as long as possible. 

  • Like 1
  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Been married to my husband for just over four years but together for 6. We are not in an open relationship, which I honestly do not mind most of the time. He is a bottom and I am a vers top, but we both love to bareback and never use condoms. Recently, I moved across the country for a graduate school program, and we are doing the long distance thing, which is a nightmare while being monogamous. It definitely does not help that I am doing my thesis research on cruising and anonymous sex, so I put myself in very sexual spaces (virtual and physical) and that has been challenging. I had a minor moment of cheating... no sex, just jerking off... that I was honest about because I am a terrible liar.

Being in a LTR, especially a monogamous one, can be very challenging. However, I also feel like if we did an open situation I would probably be super jealous or insecure. I feel like I have known so many couples that do an open situation too quick in the relationship and everything just turns to shit, but I have also met some great couples who seem to know how to make it work. I think it would have to be a don't ask, don't tell situation. I do wish that I could at least play with other guys while I was doing the long distance thing because the sexual frustration is totally real for me right now. I get by though by keeping things virtual and anonymous, which I don't consider chats and shit cheating, and that helps quite a bit.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, on2thenxt87 said:

Being in a LTR, especially a monogamous one, can be very challenging. However, I also feel like if we did an open situation I would probably be super jealous or insecure. I feel like I have known so many couples that do an open situation too quick in the relationship and everything just turns to shit, but I have also met some great couples who seem to know how to make it work. I think it would have to be a don't ask, don't tell situation. I do wish that I could at least play with other guys while I was doing the long distance thing because the sexual frustration is totally real for me right now. I get by though by keeping things virtual and anonymous, which I don't consider chats and shit cheating, and that helps quite a bit.

It definitely can be a challenge. I was involved with a couple a few years ago. While it was great when the three of us played, there were times when I would get together with one of them without the other knowing. It all came to a head when the other realized the attraction we had and it ended after the one who I wasn't seeing on the side fucked me and then said they needed to leave. I never did find out if he knew we saw each other on the side.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

27 years with my stud! We are sealed to each other like superglue. I guess it helps that we look at sex play with others as if we are playing sports! He'll comes home from the bathhouse and I'll ask how it went...He always says it was a "good game!"...lol!

Edited by Justaholeff
  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Me! I met him in November 2003 and married him in November 2021.  It was always nice to have the ability to go back to my rent subsidized apartment, but once my parents passed away I thought it was a smart move to get married and move along with it.  Even my father, who was 90 before he died, told me to give up my apartment and move in with my boyfriend.  Though he never said to marry him, I can see now with Social Security and his pension, it may have been the right decision.  Before we married we had a relationship where we played  with other people, always together.   Now, because of Covid and Monkeypox, he is not so sure it is the right thing to do.

Sometimes I feel I sold out government based security for a wedding band, I hope I made the firing decision.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use, Privacy Policy, and Guidelines. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.