Each step we make

[mizuno]

Trigger warning: If you somehow didn't realise you are in bug chasing & gift giving story section, then this is the final warning.

This story is written in 1st person dual point of view

 

Chapter 1:

 

7 Feb 2003

 

Jamie

 

Alec slipped the condom off his hard cock as he lay back on the bed, “Let me catch my breath, I don’t want to cum just yet.”

 

Even though he had not cum, the pouch of the condom was filled with pre-cum. Alec oozes a lot of pre-cum easily - something I found both hot but scary at the same time. Scary because Alec was HIV+. We were boyfriends for more than a year but were unable to have bare sex as we were sero-discordant. 

 

“What time did you want to start driving to your parent’s seaside unit tomorrow morning?” I asked. It was going to be my 23rd birthday this weekend and Alec had been planning to take me there to spend the weekend, just the two of us. 

 

I met Alec just over a year ago in the winter of 2001 while I was doing my postgraduate studies in a University town in the East Midlands. That winter was my first term break, and I decided to stay at my hostel instead of going back to my folks’ place. During the first term, I focused on my studies and was celibate. 

 

The break away from my parents meant a chance to find a hookup. I signed up to a gay dating website and browsed the profiles. Being a small university town, there weren't very many men on the dating site unlike the bigger cities. Stumbling across Alec’s profile, I took a moment to admire his pictures - he was totally my type, 44 with a dad bod, hairy, with a beard, with a balding head that he shaved - a very masculine looking top. 

 

I honestly didn’t think I had a chance to catch his interest. In my limited experience, I generally found guys that looked like Alec weren’t interested in slim, twinkish, nerdy looking guys like myself. So I moved on. I wish I had similar tastes to my gay friends and peers. Amongst them, I was the odd one out who found older men attractive. But hey, I like what I like. 

 

To my surprise, not long after I viewed his profile, Alec messaged me and we started chatting. It turned out he lived pretty close to where I was. We met and the sex was great. After sex, whilst having a chat, Alec revealed to me that he was HIV+.

 

I remembered feeling quite calm at his revelation. I was more surprised at feeling so calm about the news than learning that he was HIV+. I only had safe sex with hookups and only saved bare sex for a significant other - a boyfriend/partner when we reached a level of trust and commitment, before properly consummating our relationship. However, nothing is always 100% safe and I had always expected that I would be more terrified of accidental infection despite all precautions. 

 

I had even surprised myself that even after Alec’s revelation, I was still willing to suck him without a condom. The sensation of rubber against flesh for anal sex was already awful. But the taste of rubber, orally? Vile. It simply cannot compare to sucking on rock hard flesh and drinking in the smell of manhood that isn’t drowned by the smell of rubber. The taste of salty pre-cum filling my taste buds - and with Alec being a leaker of pre-cum, it would have been a shame to miss all of that.

 

It started as a one night stand, then moved on to meeting up every weekend as fuckbuddies. Fuck sessions eventually also became great hangout sessions with each other, and not long after we became exclusive. I never really pry about Alec’s past sexual history. I always had a thing for a very experienced top who had sowed his seeds. The idea that his cock had been to many other boy’s holes before mine turned me on - he must have fucked so many guys bare and got infected I thought. Prying might give way to revealing my dark fantasy which I found highly embarrassing and inappropriate on my part, so I kept it firmly hidden.

 

Alec was my 3rd boyfriend/partner I had. With my first two boyfriends/partners, I remembered how exciting and special it was to be able to completely share our bodies completely with each other after we went to the doctors and tested clean. It was intimate and special - the joining of flesh of two people in love, full skin to skin contact. The memories of the love making with my ex-es only served to highlight how unnatural a piece of latex worn over the dick felt. It was unfair I could experience such a connection with ex-es but not with a current boyfriend. Unfortunately, bare love making would always be a forbidden fruit between Alec and I, yet it didn’t mean I wasn’t frustrated at the situation. Unconsciously, I let out a sigh.

 

“Why the sigh?” Alec asked, “What are you thinking about?”

 

I felt my cheeks turning hot. “It’s nothing,” I said.

 

Alec’s lips formed a mischievous smile, “When you say ‘nothing’ and your face is as red as a beetroot, it usually means you have some naughty thought that you are too shy to share. Spill it, let me enjoy it too.” 

 

I made an inward sigh. Alec would badger me to tell him what I was thinking, so I confessed, “I was just feeling frustrated that circumstances prevent us from having bare sex, ok? I just like the idea of being so physically close to you that we are joined together but we can’t.” 

 

Alec’s features softened, though his eyes seemed to smoulder at the same time. “I know what you mean. It’s a crap situation.”

 

A moment of silence passed before the playful spark appeared in Alec’s eyes. “I have an idea - have you ever tried frottage? — Ok, that blank look on your face has given me my answer. Why don’t you lie face down? And don’t worry, I am not going to fuck you, the angle would be all wrong, don’t worry.”

 

It was definitely a term I had never come across. I had absolutely no clue what Alec was talking about. Letting him take charge (which I rather like), he positioned me on the bed face down. Unconsciously, I arched my arse upwards in anticipation as if to invite Alec to fuck.

 

“Nope, don’t raise your arse up. Don’t tempt me, just lie flat. We’re not going to fuck. I’ll keep you safe,” Alec said. Just as I complied, I felt a generous amount of cold lube being rubbed between the crack of my arse cheeks and my upper thighs. I stifled a gasp as the edges of his palm rubbed over my taint, before travelling in between my legs.

 

“Feels nice, doesn’t it? My hands rubbing between your crack?,” I could ‘hear’ the grin in his tone, “Now you stay lying flat and I want you to keep your legs shut as tightly as possible. I’ll let you feel something nicer than my hands down your crack.”

 

I felt Alec positioned himself above me as if getting ready to fuck me. I trust that he wasn’t going to fuck me, yet a thrill of anticipation washed through me. Both his hands pressed down against the bed, he was a little to far towards the bed head to be able to fuck me. His beefy hairy legs squeezed my slimmer smooth legs to make sure they are pressed tightly against each other.

 

Instead of the side of his palm running against my crack, I felt his hard knob run from the top of my tailbone, right down between cheeks, then glancing past the entrance of my passage, before it reached the bottom of my crack and his cock slid in-between my smooth legs. Even though I could feel the angle of the cock was not right for penetrating, that brief glancing touch of his glans against my pucker caused me to gasp. Despite being unable to see Alec’s face, I knew he had a wicked grin on his face. 

 

He repeated the motion of thrusting hard just above the top of arse cheeks, letting his cock glide hard between the cleft of my butt, quickly running over my hole and between my legs. Even though his cock did not enter my passage, the force of his cock still sent shockwaves to my prostate.  

 

For brief fleeting moments, the helmet of his cock was tantalisingly close to my hole before it moved away in between my pressed thighs. It dawned on me that this was the closest his piss slit ever got to my opening. I felt a momentarily uneasy - would the dangerous pre-cum oozing out of Alec’s piss hole be smeared all over my entrance? It should be safe, I reasoned to myself, the thrill of the situation and being closer to Alec overwriting any concerns, and my unease subsided and was quickly eclipsed by the thrill of how close we were to do something we shouldn’t. Alec’s rod, a tool for both pleasure and danger, so close to my passage.

 

“Imagine if I was actually really fucking you like this with my bare cock. We get too horny and throw caution into the wind, fuck raw skin to skin like two boyfriends should. As I get close to cumming, I ask you where you want me to cum and you ask me to cum in you,” Alec said, panting. 

 

I froze in shock, arousal and unease at Alec’s fantasy.  To be precise, I was shocked at how intense I found the idea arousing, but there was an underlying unease. “It is just a fantasy, Jamie. I’ll keep you safe like I always have, I promise,” Alec said soothingly and my unease faded as I got into the fantasy.

 

Had it been anyone else who shared that fantasy, I would have been utterly scandalised and put a stop to it. There was no way I would even confess to finding that idea titillating. I once read an article about these people called ‘bug-chasers’. I couldn’t fathom how anyone could have such ridiculous notions. 

 

However, at this moment, it wasn’t some random stranger’s bug. It was Alec’s. His load was dangerous and toxic, yet I could suddenly hear its seductive promise of the most intimate of bonds with my boyfriend. I wondered at that moment if I had gained some insight about what those bug-chasers meant when they talked about a bond and a brotherhood. A bond with Alec - it was heady and intoxicating. I found myself immediately deeply embarrassed by how I found this [banned word] fantasy so arousing. I managed to find my voice and tentatively joined in with the fantasy,, “That’s so wicked, Alec… A poz boyfriend pozzing his neg boyfriend, making him his forever.” 

 

“That idea turns you on too, Jamie? We throw caution to the wind and give ourselves completely to each other to pleasure each other? At the end of it, I deliver my poz cum in you? Knock you up with my viral load? You’ll always be mine,” The idea was primal and animalistic, and spoke to a base and basic instinct that I never knew I had. The love making between 2 negative guys could never form this biological connection that Alec could with me. 

 

Suddenly, the bare love making I had shared with my previous 2 exes felt lacking comparison with what Alec’s dirty seed could offer. They left no permanent mark on me. I wanted to voice this out to Alec to feed into his fantasy but I struggled to voice out the [banned word] ideas. The ideas made me so horny that I felt my orgasm building, “I’m going cum.”

 

“Me too,” Alec responded as he thrusted.

 

Years of safe sex indoctrination kicked in and I reflexively reminded Alec, “Please don’t cum on my hole.” But as I said it, the idea of Alec searing hot cum splashed all over my hole and being dangerously close to dripping into my entrance tipped me over the edge and I came.

 

“Don’t worry I wouldn’t,” Alec panted as he gave a few more hard thrusts, before pushing his cock completely between my legs and came. I felt his warm dangerous cum wetting my inner thighs and the bed.

 

“Enjoyed that?”

 

“Yea,” I replied breathlessly, “it is as close as we can pretend to fucking bare.” To my surprise, the disappointment in being unable to fuck bare weighed heavily.

[mizuno]

Chapter 2:

Alec

Jamie and I were on the road to my parent’s seaside unit. The drive was unusually quiet. I wondered if Jamie was thinking about our play time last night just like I was - namely, the little fantasy about pozzing him as I was frotting him. 

 

From the corner of my eyes, I saw Jamie staring out of the window on his side of the car as if deep in thought. I drank in the sight of my slim nerdy partner. Even now, I marvelled at how we were boyfriend/partners. As much as I found Jamie very attractive, there was once upon a time when I would not have considered being in a relationship with someone who would only have sex with me with a condom. Life throws strange curveballs.

 

I discovered that I was poz in ‘89. By 2000, my CD4 still remained good though the viral load kept fluctuating over the years. My doctor termed me as a long term non-progressor and I was encouraged to get on meds, but as I wasn’t progressing, I decided I wasn't in any rush. 

 

The doctors said that I should always wear a condom, even if I was having sex with other poz guys. There was a risk of cross infection from different strains of HIV. The doctors say it like it would logically act as a deterrent to raw sex - afterall, you’d think I would have learnt from the first infection.

 

However, the only effort I put into safe sex, was if my sex partner insisted that we use a condom. Instead, the idea that a poz sex partner and I swapped DNAs, leaving an indelible mark of our viruses in each other, regardless if we were casual strangers or life partners, got my juices going. Or a neg guy who didn’t care whose loads he was taking, getting knocked up by my toxic seed, and I becoming his poz daddy. It was primal, natural and raw - re-charging strains, or knocking up someone. A heady mix of raw pleasure, intimacy, risk and danger rolled into one. 

 

When I was living in London several years ago, which had a huge sleazy gay population, my profile read “Safe Sex: never”. Despite that, there was never a shortage of guys in London willing fo fuck bare. Most didn’t ask too many inconvenient questions, all too eager to take a bare cock without question. Some would certainly be poz and not know it. Others probably still neg but their neg days were certainly numbered. On rare occasions, I might find a bug chaser who wanted me to confirm that my load was toxic. Sometimes it was meeting another poz guy, both of us throwing caution to the wind and medical advice and fucking raw, mixing our toxic strains in an evil genetic soup.

 

Unfortunately, I had to move out of London to a small university town partly in the East Midlands. Partly to be close to my ageing grandmother who had no other family nearby, and partly because I was also offered a pretty well paid job in that region. However, it seemed like all the sleazy gay men in the UK had moved to London. There was a non-existent underground bareback scene where I was now located. I got the distinct impression I would be staked and burned if I so much as suggested raw fucking. To have any luck to get laid, I had to change my profile to read “Safe Sex: Always”.

 

In the early days after my move, I might risk a cheeky poke and slip my cock into a bottom willing enough to let my cock slide in bare and not discuss. Unlike the guys I picked up in London, more often than not, I would illicit outrage. I guess it was true that more conservative folks tend to be out here. Gradually, I stopped trying, only going back to my wicked ways if I was up in London visiting.

 

Meeting Jamie and getting along well with him was a pleasant surprise especially since Jamie was particularly conscientious about using a condom when we had sex. We formed a nice easy rapport quickly early in the piece, and since I more or less had to use condoms with everyone out here, he was a top candidate to be a fuckbuddy. It sounds mercenary describing this now, but that was the honest truth about how things started between us. 

 

Over time, I discovered that we got along really well, and I really enjoyed his company. I always knew that companionship was a powerful motivator, but trust me when I say that even I surprised myself when it was I who suggested to Jamie we should see each other as boyfriends, and exclusive, no less. I smiled at the memory of how Jamie’s face lit up when I proposed the idea of seeing each other. Jamie, being quite a reserved person, would probably never broach the subject first.

 

My best friend, Chris, who still lived in London, joked that I must either be having a mid-life crisis or super desperate and/or lonely. Chris was certain that if Jamie and I met in London, I would never have asked to meet with Jamie for the first time, much less a second time because of the condom. Nothing like a best friend who knew how shallow I was. I cannot deny that Chris was wrong, but I guess fate spun things this way. Jamie and I met in a specific time in my life with a specific set of circumstances that made things right at that moment.

 

Lack of bare sex notwithstanding, I genuinely enjoyed Jamie’s company and am in love with him. There was a certain sweetness and innocence that Jamie had that I found alluring. In a different time, I would be finding ways to lead him down the corrupted path, as I often did with previous exes or fuckbuddies. Instead, I found myself in an unfamiliar territory of being at war internally - I felt protective over Jamie, and yet I still desired to poz him. A quandary I never had  before. Maybe it was moving into this small town and slipping into the facade of a responsible poz top that I was starting to believe my own bullshit. Fine, maybe I feel more for Jamie than I did my previous exes or fuckbuddies.

 

“That’s not you, Alec. You’ll get bored of him one day,” Chris said to me not long ago. BAH! Chris was probably disappointed that Jamie would be my first boyfriend since we’ve known each other that he wouldn’t get to fuck. We were both a top & top-verse, and got off sharing our  bottom boyfriends and fuckbuddies with each other. My cock turned hard at the lewd image of my sweet innocent Jamie bouncing up and down Chris’ cock like a slut while I plough Ross, Chris’ boyfriend - Chris and I churning our mixed cum in our boys, a frothy mixture of cum coating our shafts, massaging our mixed toxic cum into our boys and knobs. At the end of the session, both boys are so stuffed with our mixed toxic seed, our strains mingling with each other through our boys, before passing from our boys to ourselves. An unreachable fantasy in this instance. I can even imagine how Jamie would react if I shared this with him - turning all red and scandalised.

 

My mind drifted back to frotting Jamie last night - it was the closest my piss slit ever got to his opening. What made it hotter was Jamie even briefly sharing his fantasy of taking my toxic load. It had almost made me lose my resolve last night and I came close to ‘accidentally’ blowing my load all over his hole and watched my juices slowly seep into his passage even though Jamie begged me not to cum over his hole. In the end, my protective feelings towards Jamie won out in the end.

 

Unfortunately, feeling protective over Jamie was a double edged sword. My deviant mind always loved the idea of perverting my role of an older boyfriend/husband/partner, from one who is supposed to be caring, nurturing and a protective lover to my younger spouse, to that of a selfish, deviant lover, who wanted nothing more than to taint my boyfriend with my viral load and maximising the pleasure I can get for cock out of my boyfriend’s hole. I love it when bottoms lose control and beg for raw cock. For the first time, I actually have someone I wanted to protect and keep myself under control and yet… I was under no illusions that my resolve is held by a thread, and the idea of giving in to my desires and losing control, or far more alluring, the idea of both Jamie and I mutually losing control…

 

Even darker fantasies started being spun in my head. Thoughts of pinning Jamie down and ravishing him completely with my bare cock despite his protest, knocking my boyfriend up and making him completely mine. Despite all the prim and proper protestation, Jamie secretly loved me raping his hole, as he half fights and half gives in to his desire. I wondered if Jamie was aware how he whimpered louder last night every time the glans of my cock brushed against his smooth pink pucker. I would love to hear how he would cry out in pleasure when my knob breaches his hole….

 

My cock stayed hard for the entire drive and my boxers had several wet spots from my pre-cum. By the time we reached the unit, I had worked my horniess up to a frenzy. Stepping in through the front door of the unit, I told Jamie, “I think you should get on your knees and suck me off.”

 

A playful and naughty grin flashed on Jamie’s face as he got on his knees dutifully and began to undo my pants. My cock sprang out, rock hard with pre-cum dripping out of the piss hole. My thick and veiny cock sticking out of my hairy crotch contrasted against Jamie with his neatly combed hair, a nerdy pair of glasses and his youthful clean shaven face. Ideas of corrupting Jamie in all sorts of manner surfaced - especially a biologically corruption.

 

Jamie’s mouth stretched wide open to accommodate the girth of my cock and my cock throbbed in response to the slutty sight of a clean cut nerdy young man taking on my cock. His eyes held mine as his mouth worked my sex tool. It was one thing I really enjoyed about sex with Jamie, we both liked to watch each other’s expressions - as if trying to capture every micro-expression of bliss as we pleasure one another, and feeding off each other’s pleasure, a powerful mental connection that stuck in a perpetual feedback loop.

 

“Mm, you look so good servicing my cock,” I said in a low tone, as he worked my pants down onto my ankles, then using his hands running them over my hairy thighs. He loved feeling my fur, just as I love feeling his smooth skin. I growled, “I don’t think I can wait any more - I need to fuck you. Let’s get on the bed.”

 

We stripped naked and practically stumbled our way into the bedroom. I noticed that the built-in wardrobes beside the bed had floor to ceiling mirrored doors. I had never brought anyone here for sex before, but I was now also looking forward to watching ourselves play in the mirror with plans to update the wardrobe at home to floor to ceiling mirrored doors - what a great idea.

 

Jamie lay back on the bed, lifting his legs up, exposing his pink smooth hole and I knelt in front of Jamie. I then lifted his arse up with my hairy paws so that his arse was close to my mouth, and he was practically on balancing his shoulders. We kept our eyes locked onto each other as I slowly moved my head down towards his hole to eat him out, never breaking our gaze. I fed on the anticipation on his face as my mouth got slowly closer and closer to his hole before he gasped when we finally made contact. 

 

I loved watching Jamie writhe as I pushed my tongue deep into his hole. His moans made me work my tongue even more. Pushing hard against his pucker one moment, before being gentle. I paused munching on his hole a moment and said, “Imagine my tongue is my cockhead, pressing against your hole.” I dove my tongue in hard on his hole and Jamie seemed to cry out in pleasure even louder than before. A sign he was more turned on, no doubt by the wicked idea planted in his head. “You like pretending that it is my cockhead working at your entrance. Imagine it is just the tip of my cock, rubbing and prodding.”

 

“That’s so wicked, and it feels so good,”Jamie moaned, “I wish we could do it for real but it isn’t safe.”

 

“But we can pretend,” I responded smoothly, and ate his hole with renewed vigour. My trimmed beard sanding his smooth crack raw.

 

I decided I needed to cum to take the edge off, before I drove myself crazy. I reached for my bag to grab the lube and condom and cursed at my discovery, “Fuck, there are no more condoms left in the box.”

 

“Oh,” I heard disappointment in Jamie’s voice - no doubt he was looking forward as much as I was to railing him. There was a slight pause, then he continued shyly as if he were confessing to one of the seven deadly sins, “How about you cum by frottage? It felt so good yesterday and that wicked fantasy you had too was very horny.”

 

Jamie’s suggestion perked my mood. Sure, lying face down normally meant that we could not feed off each others’ expressions, but this time we have a floor to ceiling mirror which allows us to watch ourselves and see each other’s faces. Repositioning Jamie to lie face down on the bed, I rubbed a generous amount of lube between his arse cheeks and between his slim smooth thighs. I drank in Jamie’s male form before positioning myself over Jamie, my cockhead sat on his tailbone before slowly gliding down between his arse cheeks, the flesh of my knob glancing over his puckered flesh, before sliding snuggly between smooth thighs.

 

It was a mimicry of fucking. My cock felt warm flesh engulfing my shaft but it lacked the primal edge raw fucking had: where top and bottom were completely exposed to each other of their bodily fluids and virus, where risk, danger, pleasure and intimacy all rolled into one..

 

I looked into the mirror and drank the sight of me above Jamie. My eyes caught Jamie’s through the mirror, he moaned, “You look so sexy, Alec - your beefy body is such a wicked contrast to mine.” 

 

“Yea? You like seeing us in the mirror? My older beefy hairy body against your younger smooth slender body?”

 

“It looks so…” Jamie at a loss for a word before settling on, “... perverse…”

 

“An innocent boyish looking man taken by his older animalistic looking lover? Without any context, what someone might see in the mirror would look like you’re being taken advantage of by me,” I suggested with a lot of heat in my voice. The dark fantasies during the drive snuck free and the thread holding my protective feelings snapped away. It would be so easy to overpower my slim slender boyfriend with my beefy bear form and bury my cock deep in him and plough him. A simple matter to pin him down, change the angle slightly of my cock slightly and we would be joined, forever making him as mine, giving him his first poz load.

 

My body subconsciously began to shift the angle of my body lower relative to Jamie’s - this changed the angle of the thrust bit by bit. I discovered my unconscious movement when my cockhead wasn’t gliding smoothly across Jamie’s arse crack. There was a distinct sense of a bump on my knob’s trail down to between his crack. As if a portion of my knob got caught in Jamie’s hole before the force of my thrusts knocked it out. 

 

“Ohhhhh, it feels so good, how your cock feels like it is briefly caught in my hole without entering,” Jamie moaned. Hearing his delight, I shifted down a bit more and his pucker captured my knob even more without it slipping in.

 

Teasing Jamie was also teasing myself. I fed into Jamie’s pleasure, relishing how tantalizing close we were to fucking, “Yea, it feels good for me too, Jamie - love hearing how you moan everytime my cock get briefly caught on your hole.”

 

I found myself again angling myself even lower to “catch” onto Jamie’s hole more and he moaned even louder. As I lifted my cock up to the top of his crack, I noticed the slightest, almost imperceptible movement by Jamie lifting his arse ever so slightly in response. I was rewarded with the sight of my red angry glans of my cock breaching Jamie’s pink hole when I moved down slowly and deliberately..

 

We both gasp in pleasure.  The angle was still not right for fucking. If I pushed down or forward, my cock would come out, so I stayed still so that we remained joined by the tiniest bit. The barest of taste of my boyfriend’s bare entrance engulfing my knob. No doubt Jamie was relishing the feel of bare flesh, instead of cold sterile rubber, pushing his hole apart. My piss slit, the gateway of my toxic cum, was now within the borders of his passage. I could feel pre-cum oozing, and my cock throbbed in excitement as I pictured it dripping into my boy. My primal brain wondered if my pre-cum was poisonous enough to convert him like this. 

 

We shouldn’t be doing this. Yet neither of us moved to break free. The forbidden nature of this act was deeply arousing. We held still for several moments in silence, joined knob to hole, as if speaking would break the spell. Jamie had not said anything nor had he told me to stop but his eyes were riveted at our connection through the mirror. I was so horny and eager to properly take and possess my boyfriend. With any other guy, I would have acted even earlier to reposition myself to slide my cock all the way - not missing the window of opportunity of the lack of protest.

 

But this was my Jamie, the monster in me somehow gave Jamie a few more additional moments to protest before I found myself repositioning myself so that I could slide my cock in all the way. No doubt Jamie could feel and see me shifting and would understand my intent. This was going to be the point of no return for us. Just as I got into position, he suddenly cried, “Please don’t fuck me without a condom.”

 

I froze, leaving my cockhead clasped by Jamie’s hole. I looked back at Jamie through the mirror, his eyes had a look of panic, but I could see he was fighting desire. There was a wave of disappointment and I wouldn’t deny that the temptation was there to just fuck Jamie anyway just like my fantasy - he would love it. But I managed to keep fantasy and reality separated like a responsible top and pulled myself out. 

 

“Sorry, Alec,” Jamie said, looking very apologetic through the mirror, but I could see relief and disappointment in his face. Maybe he did want me to take him regardless of what he said.

 

“It’s ok, Jamie. It felt very good for me though.”

 

To my surprise, Jamie asked shyly, “It felt really good for me too. Could we do what we did earlier - just the tip but no fucking?”

 

My body moved without thinking, re-positioning myself smoothly. I heard Jamie whispered, “Don’t fuck me…. Please… just the tip. Oh we shouldn’t be doing this.” I was very aroused by Jamie’s desire for the tip of my cock, the thrill of the forbidden, of pushing boundaries. In one day, we went from frottage to ‘just the tip’. Maybe it wouldn’t be long before I truly get to take Jamie properly, my over aroused sex addled brain thought..

 

“I wouldn’t fuck you, Jamie. I promise,” I whispered soothingly. Jamie’s arsed arched up tentatively despite his protests. His body language in contrast to his words. Temptation returned - It would be so easy to fuck him. A single thrust me and I would be completely in him. I strongly suspected Jamie and I shared the same fantasy of me taking him against his consent, my cock swelling at the idea till it ached. 

 

I moved my knob very slowly in and out of Jamie - just the tip as I promised. My knob plopping out, before prodding his entrance apart, slipping in and out with mini-thrusts. We were tantalizingly close to proper fucking and love making. A little forbidden taste of each other’s bodies. Jamie moaned with delight, telling me it felt so good one moment, then begging that I not fuck him. The idea of slowly wearing down his resolve and making him lose control of his dark desires of taking my poz load titillate me.

 

“We aren’t fucking Jamie, just the tip, I promise,” I said gently, though Jamie could see the wicked evil grin plastered on my face.

 

“The tip feels so good. Your knob is just stretching me open, then leaving and the muscle closes up before it gets forced wide open. It feels so good. I hope it is good for you too.”

 

“It’s great, Jamie,” I sped up my mini thrusts, Jamie’s sphincter pleasuring my knob and I felt my cum building up. I wanted so badly to blow my load into Jamie even if I wasn’t balls deep in him.

 

“Where do you want me to cum?” I shouldn’t have to ask Jamie - I knew he wasn’t ready for me to cum in him yet. Yet, an evil part of me decided that I would blow my load inside Jamie if he did not answer my question  - to hell with positive consent. Would he even hear my question amidst our moans? 

 

There was a long pause, as if Jamie was debating this internally before he finally said, “Please cum outside of me.” I was so close to blowing my load inside Jamie, but I pulled out immediately. The first volley of cum shot onto his slightly stretched hole before I managed to deposit the rest of my cum on his lower back.

 

“Your cum is searing hot— ugh–” Jamie’s cries of orgasm joined mine. Did my cum hitting his hole tipped him over the edge? When we both finished cumming, I looked at the single glop of cum painted onto his twitching hole, imagining his hole drinking in my juices and my seed dripping ever slowly down his passage. “Could you get a towel to wipe off your cum, please?” Jamie asked, breaking me from my daydream.

 

“Of course,” I said, grabbing a towel wiping the spunk off his lower back first before slowly wiping the spunk off his hole.

 

“Do you think I’m still ok?” Jamie asked quietly as if lost in his thoughts.

 

“You’ll be fine, Jamie. There was a lot of lube - I’m sure there was no torn flesh,” I said soothingly. That is why I prefer spit. Sure, prep is a lot easier with lube - but spit, it dries quicker - it is all natural. A chafed cock and a torn hole - as we fuck, bits of blood and cum mingling, the perfect swapping of body fluids. And lube tastes horrible.

 

Silence draped the air for a few breaths, then Jamie continued softly, “I thought you were going fuck me anyway even though I told you not to. The worst part of it all was a part of me would have been so turned on if you had fucked me anyway even though I said no.”

 

“Are you sharing that with me because you want me to fuck you even if you say no?” I asked playfully, mentally filing this information.

 

“W..what? No, t..that’s not what I mean,” Jamie stammered, his face turning scarlet, “Only that I find the idea horny.”

 

“You better not share that with me, Jamie. The idea turns me on greatly too - It took all my willpower not to rape you despite your protest,” I warned him in a light playful tone.

 

Jamie bit his lip, face turning even redder, before blurting, “Gosh, I wish that didn’t sound so hot - I’m glad you are willing to protect me and keep me safe. Can we get a box of condoms tomorrow before we do something we regret?”

 

“Of course, I’ll drive to the shops first thing in the morning,” I said.

[mizuno]

Chapter 3

Jamie

 

The next morning, I woke up to find Alec had left the unit, leaving a note saying he was off to the shops. This left me with some time to stew in my own thoughts as I jumped into the shower.

 

I had always associated bare sex as something special intimate bond shared between boyfriends/partners/lovers. Being unable to share this most intimate bond with Alec was frustrating - but a relationship wasn’t all about bare sex right?

 

But last night feeling Alec’s tip taking a dip into my hole, my mind was fixated on how pleasurable it felt and we were a few inches from a full fuck. I hate the feel of latex pressing against my hole. It was a necessary evil, but at that moment, life felt terribly unfair about Alec and I being sero-discordant.

 

A whisper bubbled up from my subconscious: ‘You could just become sero-concordant with Alec. Alec can help you with that, with his seed. Impregnate you with his virus. You’ll become his completely, carrying his ‘babies’.’

 

‘Ridiculous’ - my rational mind tried to slap my subconscious back into the ether. “What you are hoping for was Alec to just fuck you last night even though you were protesting,” my insidious subconscious whispered back to my rational mind, “Alec, your virile alpha inseminating you with his virus, joining you with him biologically forever.” 

 

This was confusing, I never had rape fantasies - and rape fantasies still did nothing for me - I was pretty certain. It was specifically Alec, my boyfriend, taking me completely regardless of my lack of consent that turned me on. ‘Ridiculous - that is the very definition of who shouldn’t be your boyfriend,’ my rational mind screamed. 

 

Yet, in that moment, I had also gained insight that it was the perversion of Alec being the loving boyfriend to that of a debauched, pleasure seeking alpha that had no regard for anything but his own sexual pleasure that turned me on. The crazy mix of simultaneously yearning for tenderness and darkness from Alec. “What you want, Jamie is a sick perverted tart with a heart,” I blurted out loud to myself.

 

Drying myself after my shower, I lay on the bed, slowly stroking my cock as my mind played back the events of the night before: 

 

The tip of Alec’s cock breaching my hole. My pucker clasped desperately onto Alec’s knob. We both froze as we knew we shouldn’t be doing this. My eyes were locked to our naked forms in the mirror. Neither of us made any attempts to disengage the connection. I was lost in bliss up until I felt and saw Alec repositioned himself to get the fucking angle right. In a moment of panic, I begged him not to fuck me. 

 

In my fantasy, Alec did not take heed of my feeble protests. Instead, he kicked my slim smooth legs apart with his beefy hairy thighs to get better access to my hole. He then moved  to press his hands down on the back of my hands, pinning my hands down with our fingers entangled. Through the mirror, my boyfriend had a hard sinister slutty look on his face as he pressed my body down with his, engulfing my body and my senses with his hairy beefy body. There would have been no way for me to struggle free. He would then slowly and deliberately thrust forward, sliding his thick shaft down my chute despite my protests. Joining us, filling me completely. 

 

He would then pull himself out of me completely, and then in one smooth stroke after another, plunge into me again and again. I would feel a rising panic and yearning for his seed as his cock gets harder and harder, inching closer to ejaculation. No matter how hard I struggled, I couldn’t push him off me. I kept protesting, but his thrusts simply became harder and faster.

 

I keep begging him to let me go, but he does not listen. “I’m going to make you properly mine, Jamie,” Alec would whisper sinisterly in my ear, disregarding my protests. “None of your ex-boyfriends were able to mark you the way I can. You’ll be impregnated by my toxic seed. I would always be the one who infected you. After tonight, we will always be fucking bare.”

 

The opening of the front door of the unit broke me from my fantasy. My cock was achingly hard and pre-cum was leaking from my glans. I heard Alec making his way through the living room and opened the bedroom door. He was greeted with the sight of me lying in bed with my cock up on full mast.

 

He took a moment to take in my nakedness, his eyes running up and down my body in a way that made me feel so sexy and desired, even though I never considered myself sexy. He then eyed my aching cock and teased, “Well someone’s horny.” 

 

I caught sight of the new box of condoms that he just placed on the bedside table. I felt annoyed and relieved at the same time. Annoyed that Alec appeared to have every intention to play safe. Relieved that Alec appeared to have every intention to play safe too. As Alec moved forward to put my cock in his mouth, I said, “Wait, get your clothes off too. I love you naked.”

 

Alec discarded his clothes quickly and efficiently. I drank in the sight of my man’s nakedness. My peers preferred guys their age, or guys who were well-muscled with a low body fat. While I could appreciate those male forms, Alec’s body type was what really got my juices going - A dad’s bod. Beneath the softness of flesh, you can see the traces of hard muscle hidden underneath. A bit of a belly and a layer of fur covering his body.

 

“I love the way you look at me. The way your eyes can’t seem to get enough of looking at me naked. Makes me feel sexy,” Alec said huskily as he took my cock into his mouth, slowly sucking me and watching the pleasure wash over my face. “What were you wanking off to when I got back?”

 

There was a pause as I debated if I should share the entirety of my fantasies. There was shame, embarrassment and confusion as to how I felt towards my fantasies. I decided to share part of it - minus being taken by Alec by force bits, “I was thinking about your knob teasing my hole yesterday.”

 

“I couldn’t stop thinking about that all morning, too. I had a rock hard cock driving to the shops and back. Had to take a moment to get my cock down before I ran into the shop for condoms. I’m glad it had the same effect on you too,,” Alec chuckled. 

 

I internally battled with my desires and my fears. I would love to feel just the tip of Alec’s cock prodding against my entrance again. It should be safe, shouldn’t it? We wouldn’t really fucking. I blurted out, “Would you like to tease my hole with your cock again? But this time face to face?”

 

Alec’s eyes seemed to turn dark, as if a caged animal threatening to break free took brief possession of him. I felt a tinge of trepidation, vulnerability and arousal. Would the animal in him finally break free and take me? “You want to feel my knob pressed against your hole again?” Alec asked in a deep husky voice. I nodded.

 

He moved to lay on the bed on his back, his girthy rock hard cock on full display. “Sit on my face, I’m going to eat your hole, and I want you to suck my cock. We’ll get my cock and your hole nice and wet.”

 

“Shouldn’t we use lube? To make sure there are no torn skin due to friction as spit dries quicker?”

 

“If we use lube, it would be so well lubricated that more than the tip of my cock might slip in. Spit drying up quicker makes it harder for me to slip in,” Alec said, as if it was the most reasonable thing in the world, pulling my arse over his mouth before his tongue began working my hole. The pleasure of his wet flesh generated even greater anticipation for his knob. His trim beard sanded against my smooth arse crack. I put his rock hard cock into my mouth, the girth stretching mouth open, and sucked and slobbered all over his rod.

 

We mutually serviced each other: Alec alternated between spitting copious amounts of spit and working it in as deep as he could with his tongue. Me eagerly worked on Alec’s steel bar member, as I let spit flow freely onto this shaft. I wondered if both of us were silently lubricating more than necessary for the tip. This added to the anticipation - would Alec cross the line? No, would we cross the line?

 

“I think we’re ready. I can lie here and you can be in control by climbing on top of me and teasing my knob with your hole,” Alec said. That would be the sensible thing to do. But I liked Alec being in control… and the thought of Alec losing self-control and taking me anyway…

 

No, Alec is right, I should be in control. Just as I was about to agree with Alec, Alec misread my hesitation and spoke, “Ah, that expression on your face. I think my sweet Jamie likes me in control. Alright you get on your back.” 

 

Pleased with the turn of events, I chose not to correct Alec and did as I was told, and lay back on the bed, and lifted my legs up. Alec smoothly moved to help support my legs and placed them on his shoulders. His eyes, smouldering with the lust. My exposed taint felt vulnerable, yet it thrilled me feeling so vulnerable to Alec. “You really like to test my self-control don’t you Jamie,” Alec growled.

 

His eyes had a wicked glint as his knob made light contact with my entrance. Once again, we are so tantalisingly close to a proper consummation as boyfriends. A smug grin blossomed on his face when I gasped at the naked contact of our sex. There was anticipation in the air. He gyrated slowly, his knob rubbing against my crack that was a little tender from the sanding of his beard, as we feasted on each other’s expressions. “That’s what my boy wanted - my cock teasing his hole,” Alec said playfully.

 

“Kiss me,” I begged, reaching my arms up around his neck. We kissed, our tongues dancing in each other’s mouths. Then I felt a bit of pressure at my entrance, and the muscles of my anus were pushed apart as the helmet of his cock breached the entrance. We gasped into each other’s mouth, not breaking from our kiss. 

 

“Just the tip dipping into my neg boy Just a little taste of my boy and it is so good.. So glad you want this too, Jamie,” Alec whispered into my mouth. 

 

“Oh Alec, your knob feels so good, I love it, it is closest to proper fucking,” I could only moan in response. I wanted more than a dip. I want to feel the full length of Alec’s bare shaft sliding in and caressing the walls of my ass.

 

Alec broke our kiss but kept us joined at the tip. He lewdly gathered a big glob of spit in his mouth and let it dribble down onto his cock. His slimy spit hit squarely at the connection between his cock and the rim of my anus - a perfect aim. 

 

Distantly I wondered how many times he had done this before to have such a good aim. Did he often fucked other guys bare with spit before we met? We had never really discussed much about our sex lives before we met. My mind conjured images of his cock fucking one boy after another bare and I was getting more turned on by the idea. A pity I never had the opportunity to watch Alec fuck one of his previous boys in the past before we became exclusive. My eyes drifted to our reflection in the mirror and I imagined I was watching Alec fuck one of those boys in the past instead of me lying beneath him.

 

“What were you thinking there that caused your cock to twitch?” Alec asked and I felt my face turning red. Even though it was all in my mind, I felt caught out and I felt embarrassment flushed my cheeks, I didn’t particularly want to share it with him. He might laugh or find it ridiculous or think I was a dirty minded slut. “Hey, don’t need to be embarrassed about it. You can share with me. Whatever it is, you obviously like it. You wouldn’t know if I like it if you didn’t share.”

 

“I was thinking that you must be very experienced at dripping spit on your cock to have such a good aim,” I said in a mock-accusatory tone, telling only part of what I was fantasising and trying to turn the tables. Alec’s eyes twinkled as if seeing through my intent. With slow deliberation, he dribbled down a second glob of saliva. I watched with fascination as the viscous liquid left a line that trailed from his mouth down, before the line of spit connecting to his mouth breaking and I felt  it hit my entrance - another perfect aim.

 

“Well, I am very experienced at dripping spit down onto my cock, and you never asked before,” Alec teased, “There was more than just that, Jamie. You were staring at the mirror there for a moment. Come, share with me.”

 

I wanted to bury my face in the sand. I quickly blurted to get it all out in one go, “I was imagining what it would have been like to watch you fuck one of the boys in your pastbefore you met me.”

 

Alec’s brows quirked up in amusement, “Why the past? If you fancy, we could invite another lad to join us and you can watch it live in the present.” I felt Alec’s cock throbbed as he said that. He liked the idea of giving me a live sex show. 

 

I froze - a threesome wasn’t something I had considered before. Our relationship had been exclusive all this time. The idea didn’t sound terrible, somewhat intriguing, but I had been comfortable with being exclusive with Alec. Images of watching Alec fuck someone live in front of me went through my mind, it would 3-dimensional live porn of my boyfriend which was rather horny. 

 

“You like the idea of watching your boyfriend to fuck another boy in front of you?” Alec grinned, his fist wrapping round my cock, “We can talk about this another time. Right now, I’m enjoying my knob being pleasured by my boyfriend,” he punctuated it with a thrust that was far more eager than his earlier shallow thrusts.

 

I gasped in surprise and pleasure. It felt like a quarter of his cock is now buried in me - the most my hole ever had of his bare member. “Whoops, thrust too hard,” Alec said, surprised and apologetic, withdrawing his cock almost immediately. His expression was quickly replaced with a wicked glint when he observed my response. “Gotta be careful,” he said smoothly before sinking just the tip of his rod back in and working the bud of my hole. My hole felt the absence of Alec’s cock and I nearly begged for Alec to sink his cock all the way in. 

 

No, no, we’re too responsible for that. We shouldn’t cross the line. Yet, the forbidden fruit always seemed sweeter.

 

He dribbled even more spit and continued his shallow thrusting. I revelled in pleasure of his cock stretching my ring as it entered and feeling all hungry as it left. Then suddenly without warning, he made another hard thrust, pushing a quarter of his tool in again before withdrawing and repeating the shallow thrusts. His eyes lit up in response to me gasping in a mixture of surprise and pleasure. 

 

“Whoops, sorry - too eager  again,” he said in a husky tone. There was no apology in his eyes or in his tone of voice. We both knew that deeper thrust was deliberate. He knew he shouldn’t have done it, but he was pushing the boundaries. Distantly, I was aware that I should be outraged that he was pushing the boundaries without discussion. Instead, I discovered that I was turned on by him pushing the boundaries without a proper discussion. 

 

I wanted to remind him to only fuck with the tip, but I could not verbalise as deep down I knew I did not want him to stop. My mind was too focused on the pleasure sensory overload of my opening being worked on by his knob again and again, being so close to Alec. Just as I mustered the concentration to say something, he thrusted in again, overloading my senses and I lost my voice and cried out instead, giving in, and joining him in this madness.

 

He repeated the process of several shallow thrusts with a deeper thrust, then reverting back to shallow thrusts. The deeper thrusts gradually felt like half his cock was now in me when he did a deeper thrust. The senses felt so heightened and I was aware that Alec’s cock was gliding more and more smoothly in my hole, as if my hole had gotten more and more lube. It dawned on me that he was leaking pre-cum in me. I could not muster protest or outrage, the pleasure was out of this world. It all felt so right and natural - being so intimate with Alec, giving my body to Alec and being tainted by Alec. I loved the spontaneity of the situation, both of us pushing the boundaries without proper discussion and it was like our two minds acting as one in this madness. It created a sense of being so in sync with each other in our mad desires, it was intoxicating.

 

I craved to feel Alec’s body and flesh engulfing mine. “Kiss me,” I blurted. Alec leaned down towards me slowly. Our eyes locked onto each other. I wrapped my arms around his neck and I felt my legs wrapped around his hips to pull our bodies closer. This time he sank his cock into me slowly and deliberately, moving past the quarter mark of his shaft, then the halfway mark of his shaft, until finally he was balls deep in me. We both let out a contented sigh, before Alec finally kissed me slowly, just keeping us locked together, his arousal palpable as I can feel his cock throbbing. 

 

We were lost in our sense of touch of our naked bodies, lips to lips, chest to chest, crotch to bum, and shaft to passage. The awareness of his physicality was overwhelming - the sense of his beefy hairy body pressing down against my slimmer smoother one, fully joined to each other for the first time and properly consummating our relationship. Alec’s leaking cock, was now fully positioned in the deepest and most vulnerable part of my body, ready to unload his tainted seed at any moment. I started to have an inkling as to why the bug chasers and gifters used the imagery of a scorpion - a stinger - an apt imagery. With how easily his cock slid in, the walls of my arse were already coated with his spit and pre-cum.

 

“You feel so good in me, Alec. I wish we could go on forever but we should stop before it gets out of hand,” I whispered one thing, but arms and legs clung onto Alec tightly. My hazy mind wondered why I was even protesting. I was engulfed in Alec, why should it end? The natural climax to such a bare connection was for Alec to breed me, leaving his DNA in me, knocking me up - forever binding us biologically with each other.

“Just for a little bit longer, Jamie. A few more moments - what difference does it make?” Alec said and began to slowly fuck me. The full length of his shaft slide in and out slowly as he kissed and fucked my protest away. “I wanted to do this yesterday, Jamie. I wanted to fuck you raw even though you said no.”

 

“When you came back earlier, you asked me what I was wanking off to… I was fantasizing that you fucked bare last night me even though I begged you not to.”

 

Alec groaned with arousal and his thrusting picked up pace and pinning me down. “Did you think about me blowing my load deep inside you and knocking you up? The man that you love, who is supposed to love and protect you in return, instead delivering his poisonous cum into you and turning you poz? Me taking charge and taking the decision out of your hands?”

 

“I did,” I panted, “it shouldn’t have turned me on, but it did. I wanted you to take charge and force yourself on me last night, marking me and making me yours.”

 

“Shit, Jamie, I am not going to last long. Where do you want me to cum?” Alec managed to pant out.

 

An internal war waged within me. I wanted so badly to give myself completely to Alec, to be bonded together with him by his virus, and always be able to get fucked by Alec without a condom. Yet, years of indoctrination and fear held me at bay from physically voicing yes. My mind said yes, but my voice said, “Please cum outside of me.” 

 

I could see the disappointment in Alec’s face. Instead of releasing my arms and legs around him so that he could withdraw, my arms around his neck tightened, as did my legs around his waist. A momentary look of surprise passed Alec’s eyes and my actions. He was far stronger than me and could easily break free. Instead, he stared into my pleading eyes - I did not know if I was pleading for him to withdraw or to blow his load in me. An animalistic possessive look washed over his face and he plunged deep into me and said, “Fuck it, Jamie, I’ll make you mine now.” 

 

Alec roared as he came and I felt every pulse that Alec’s cock made inside me, delivering his dirty payload in my guts. That tipped me over the edge, and my cock, sandwiched between his hairy beer belly and my smooth flat stomach, blew its load in tandem with Alec’s pulsing cock in my hole. 

 

There was a bit of shock, and a little horror, but in my pulsing orgasm, those feelings were buried by a strong sense of connection to Alec, satisfaction and satiation of how right it all felt that we crossed a line together, and I never wanted it to end.

 

Edited December 28, 2023 by mizuno
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[mizuno]

Chapt 4

 

Alec

 

The beast within me felt immense satisfaction at finally claiming our young mate. I experienced one of the most intense orgasms in my life as I delivered a huge load deep inside Jamie. I felt Jamie’s hot spunk on our bellies, glueing us together. 

 

I loved the spontaneity of fucking Jamie raw without a proper discussion of risks and consequences - both of us losing control together, the exhilarating thrill of moving step by step to raw fucking as boundaries were pushed and broken in an irresponsible manner. I also loved how Jamie asked me to cum outside of him, yet he clung onto me tightly with his pleading eyes simultaneously begging to be taken and for me to pull out. All the wicked fantasies we shared about me taking him without his consent finally came into fruition. 

 

As my orgasm died out and lucidity returned, I felt a growing guilt. It wasn’t like sowing my seeds on some random fuck who didn’t care to take care of himself. I had long rationalised if it wasn’t me pozzing said random fuck, it would eventually be someone else. But Jaime had a place in my heart unlike said random fuck. My hypocrisy was not lost on me that the last couple of days, I pushed Jamie’s boundaries with lustful delight. Chris, my best friend, would probably be rolling on the floor laughing at my sudden acquisition of a conscience. Our running gag was if gay men live by the ‘sword’, then we die by the ‘sword’. 

 

Jamie seemed to have returned to his senses as well. We looked at each silently, both breathing deeply, still joined by my semi-hard cock. “Are you ok, Jamie?” I asked gently.

 

“Yea I am. And you?” Jamie responded, sounding a bit distant. A sign he was deep in thought.

 

I withdrew from Jamie, letting him sit up beside me. “I am good - it was amazing. It was more than I hoped for. But I am sorry, Jamie - we should have discussed this properly. I know we talked about fantasies about me taking you without your consent, but without actually a proper discussion about boundaries, I should have pulled out,” I took a deep breath and continued, “But we can still protect you. They have medication for medical staff for situations where they are accidentally exposed to HIV. So long as the medication is taken within 72 hours of exposure, it should be able to prevent infection. We can go to the hospital and get them to prescribe you some.” 

 

It felt strange that the consequences of an act so intimate between my lover and I could be severed by some medication. As if the slate could just be wiped clean. We will have to go back to condoms too. My inner beast howled in protest after claiming our mate. I reminded myself that getting Jamie poz only benefited my sick perverted mind. 

 

“Oh,” I could see the cogs turning in Jaime’s head as he considered the information. “So what you are saying is that for the next 72 hours, we can fuck raw to our hearts content and I can go to the hospital to get the exposure medication and I wouldn’t be infected?”

 

I almost burst out in laughter. It wasn’t quite what I was expecting him to say. Though 72 hours of ravishing my boyfriend did have a great appeal. Instead, I put on my responsible hat and stripped off sexually evocative poz words, “72 hours is a guideline. You need to get the treatment as soon as possible for the best results. The longer you take to go on medication or the greater the exposure level, sero-convertion can still happen even if the post exposure medication is taken. You shouldn’t have to pay for me losing control and being highly irresponsible. As you know Jamie, I am not on meds, so my viral load, while stable, is high so I may be more infectious than what is typically expected and therefore the exposure would be greater which may yield poorer results from the meds.” 

 

“Oh,” Jamie said and paused, mulling over the information some more. “Does this mean I should push out your cum to reduce as much cum in me as possible, therefore reduce exposure?”

 

I couldn’t fault Jamie’s logic. However, it would be such a waste to push out all that cum immediately. It had been a long time since I had the opportunity to eat cum out of an ass since moving out of London, a few more moments of my toxic cum in Jamie should be alright, shouldn’t it? “Wait Jamie, sit on my face for a bit, I want to eat out your hole - It may be my only chance of ever doing this with my cum in your hole. Sit on my face.” 

 

An amused grin blossomed on Jamie’s face. I lay back on the bed and Jamie straddled my face. “I got a perfect view of your hole - it looks so red and it smells of cum and sex,” I growled before munching on his hole, drinking in the taste and smell close up. My tongue pushed easily into his already stretched hole. I pulled back, watching his hole twitch as pearly white cum leaked and flowed out on his puffy pink entrance. I watched with a morbid fascination wondering if there was enough broken skin on his pink entrance for my virus to seep in before I lapped up my cum, “Love tasting my cum mixed with your hole juices as it drips out of your hole, tasting our fuck.”

 

“That’s so bad…” Jamie moaned, “I want to taste our fuck too.” Jamie suddenly leaned down and tentatively put my rock hard cock in his mouth and sucked my cock. Tentativeness grew to eagerness as he sucked up and down my rod. Jamie, feasting our sex juices on my cock, while I feasted on our sex juices from his hole.

 

“Kiss me, Jamie. Let’s share what we are tasting with each other.” Jamie released my cock and repositioned himself, he straddled me on my waist, my long thick shaft rested in between his crack as he leaned down and kissed me. We dove our tongues into each other’s mouths, sharing the taste of our bodies with each other. Jamie rocked his hips, the cleft of his butt rubbed against my cock. 

 

We were lost in our kiss for a long time. When we finally took a moment to catch our breath, Jamie had a sombre look on his face and said, “And for the record, Alec, it was ‘we’ lost control. Not ‘you’ lost control. It was what made it so… intoxicating. ‘Us’ doing what we should not be doing together. Like we both lost our minds together step by step together, but somehow stayed in sync, remaining one mind - connected even in our madness. I don’t even think I make sense. If it was just one of us losing self control, it wouldn’t be the same because we are not of the same mind.” 

 

Jamie’s insight took me by surprise. He wasn’t wrong. “Thanks Jamie, I appreciate that.” Jamie remained silent for a bit as if mulling some more before his cheeks turned a little pink again and his cock throbbed. “What dirty thought crossed your mind, Jamie?” I grinned.

 

“You know how you said earlier that your viral load has been high but stable, it just made me think that your cum is even more potent and dangerous than I thought. It was just a strange way to think of cum with those descriptions,” he responded softly. I found my cock throbbing between his arse cheeks. Jamie flashed a grin, “Wow, a barest hint of poz talk and your cock is throbbing. You’re really bad, Alec - for all your talk about asking me to go to the hospital to get meds, deep down you really like the idea of pozzing your younger boyfriend.”

 

“Unfortunately, all this time you’ve been going out with a sick, perverted man, who gets off on doing things that he shouldn’t. I just kept it hidden from you all this time to keep you around. But I lost control last night, and now you know,” I replied with a grin, half joking, but also realising there was more truth in my statement than I cared to admit. 

 

“Is that so?” Jamie asked with an impish smile as if discovering a secret. Grabbing my cock underneath him, he positioned my knob at his entrance and gently rubbed them against each other. My knob, raw from the friction burns of our fucking, felt sore and tender against Jamie’s entrace. “We shouldn’t have let your knob and my hole teased each other last night. It all started with this,” he whispered teasingly.

 

I growled with lust, my self control slipping, “You’re playing with fire, Jamie…”

 

“I should have straddled you like you suggested earlier when you were teasing me with your cockhead. So that I would have been in control and you couldn’t slip into me,” he teased further.

 

I smirked at his unintended challenge, “Sweet, naive Jamie. You must have only been with inexperienced tops before.” In a quick smooth practised motion, I grabbed his arse, pulled cheeks apart, tilt his hips into the right angle and buck my hips upwards in a single thrust. I felt a brief moment of resistance when my knob met his hole, before resistance gave way and my cock penetrated into his warm flesh, still well lubricated with my dirty seed. My cock stang from being chafed from our fuck, his warm flesh heightening the burn as it made my cock harder. I gave him a smug evil grin and boasted, “I could have easily entered you this way too.”

 

Jamie moaned in pleasure but did not make any move to jump off my cock, which delighted me. I loved feeding from his pleasure and his desire for my cock. It was heightened even more by the idea that it was something we ‘shouldn’t’ be doing. Jamie leaned, resting his head on my shoulders, our chest pressing against each other and mouth beside my ear and he whispered huskily, “You said that you shouldn’t be fucking me raw anymore, or your potent virus might be too much for the meds.” As he said that, he began to slowly move himself up and down on my cock.

 

“Don’t move,” I told Jamie, “let me fuck you instead.” Jamie stilled himself as I bucked my hips, my both hands pulling his cheeks apart as much as possible for full access. The beast within me taking control.. It wants to breed our mate again. “Yea, I shouldn’t be fucking you raw. But I’m not a good person, Jamie. I tell myself that I should keep you safe as your boyfriend, but what I really want is to be the man who knocks you up. Mark you as mine. You’ll always have a part of me in you. What kind of sick boyfriend has these kinds of thoughts and acts on them? Especially on his younger boyfriend just at the start of his life”

 

Jamie groaned and clutched onto me, “It is so perverted, but I love hearing that you want to do these wicked things to me, to be tied to you forever.”

 

“On your back, Jamie. I know you like me on top and properly in control. Going to give you another good fucking.” Jamie got up and moved across the bed as I sat up, I had a good look at my fucktool. Frothy white cummy foam coated my rod, my crotch damp with some of the cum that backflowed out due to churning my own cum.

 

As Jamie lay on his back, he caught sight of my cock and sucked in air in a hiss, “That looks so hot -I’ve never seen a cock so cummy before, it looks so slutty.”

 

I knew a devilish grin was plastered on my face as I got in between Jamie’s legs, flaunting my hard wet tool, wet with my own cum. “None of your neg ex-boyfriends ever fucked on their own cum? Probably because they are just firing blanks. Whereas your poz boyfriend has his toxic load that he wants to massage into your passage and your blood stream,” I said, simultaneously slamming myself into Jamie and fucking him, “Massaging my cum in you with my cock.”

 

Jamie lay back giving himself completely to me. His submissive manner looked completely wanton in my sex craze haze. Lewd sounds of flesh slapping flesh reverberated in the room as we clung onto each other. “So hot, losing control together and giving into our desire for each other,” Jamie murmured feverishly

 

I felt my cum building up. Jamie still had not verbalised that he wanted my cum. I needed to know that he wanted all of me - my dirty toxic cum, my virus. “Where do you want me to cum, Jamie?” I asked Jamie, our eyes fastened.

 

Jamie hesitated for a moment, which almost caused my heart to sink before he said, “Cum in me Alec, make me yours forever.”

 

It was like a dam burst as my orgasm exploded as I gave my boyfriend my second toxic load in him, delivered deep into his guts. I felt Jamie cum within seconds after I came.

 

I lay on our backs panting, holding each other’s hands and catching our breath for a few minutes. “Last chance, Jamie. We go to the hospital now, or I’m keeping you in this unit for the next 72 hours and keep pumping load after load of my potent viral cum into you.” There was not a little dread that Jamie would choose to go to the hospital. It would be the right decision. The sensible one. A part of me was not ready to lose what we have just discovered together as boyfriends and lovers. 

 

Jamie cuddled up to me, our sweaty sticky skin plastering on each other. “I don’t know if I can lose what we had just shared,” he said, echoing my thoughts. “I never felt so close to anyone, so connected and bonded.”

 

We did not leave the unit for the next 72 hours.

 

2 months later

 

I heard the door open as Jamie came back. I popped my head out of the kitchen and asked, “So, what were the results?”

 

“It came back positive,” Jamie confirmed.

 

“Are you feeling ok?” While the results are not unexpected, sometimes reality can hit harder than fantasy..

 

“Unlike other newly poz guys, I have you,” Jamie hugged me and I held him.

 

“So what did you and the doctor talk about?”

 

“Oh, she said I was taking it all very calmly. I said I knew who poz-ed me. She asked if we were having protected sex now…. I said no. Then she said that even though I am poz and got it from you, we need to use protection because the virus mutates separately in our bodies. Unprotected sex may mean we get re-infected by a new mutated strain from even each other… and we may end up harming each other. She said, I quote, ‘You don’t want to harm your boyfriend or your boyfriend harm you, do you?’” 

 

My cock stirred in my pants, tenting. Jamie eyed my hardon with a salacious grin. In a mischievous tone, he said, “The doctor made it sound so serious and dangerous, Alec. Maybe we need to discuss having safe sex.”

 

I pinned Jamie against the wall, pressing our hardons against each other. Over the last two months, Jamie had really gotten into poz talk and play with me. I huskily said, “We are never fucking with a condom, Jamie.”

 

“But I’ll be such an irresponsible boyfriend, re-infecting my boyfriend over and over again with my strain, never knowing when it might mutate,” Jamie teased, working me up with all the right buttons.

 

I growled, “We are never fucking with a condom. We will keep swapping our juices and recharging each other with our strains… fuck if they mutate.” 

 

“People are going to say we are so irresponsible and have such an unhealthy relationship… We risk harming each other while we make love.”

 

“That’s why it is perfect and right for the two of us,” I said, kissing Jamie to shut him up.

[PozTalkAuthor]

Damn, I have just changed sheets on my bed, and they're soaked in poz precum again!!! 

You brought in words what my gifting kink has always been: a permanent, biological bond between two people who chose each other -boyfriend or whatever-. 

And I always think how fucking lucky science makes us currently! 20 years later from the story's plot. 

We can enjoy our intense bareback sex without harm 

roleplaying our poz fantasies without ever harming ourselves! And every time is like the first time...the pozzing time 🦠☣️ 

[BBArchangel]

Fantastic story. really well written.

[Medwaym]

Very hot story, thank you

[Marlin]

Wow.....I remember a thread asking how you would want to get pozzed....This is it!

[onlyraw]

An amazingly hot story !!! - thank you- I look forward to your next one - I love how your mind works 

[Marlin]

Alec roared as he came and I felt every pulse that Alec’s cock made inside me, delivering his dirty payload in my guts. That tipped me over the edge, and my cock, sandwiched between his hairy beer belly and my smooth flat stomach, blew its load in tandem with Alec’s pulsing cock in my hole. 

There was a bit of shock, and a little horror, but in my pulsing orgasm, those feelings were buried by a strong sense of connection to Alec, satisfaction and satiation of how right it all felt that we crossed a line together, and I never wanted it to end.

So hot and well written

 

[PozTalkAuthor]

I read it again together with my partner and I just told him "look, this was what being a serodiscordant couple meant 20 years ago: being forced to condoms and not everyone reacted the same way" and he frankly answered "I don't know if I could ever have accepted the situation if you didn't explain me about meds and Undetectable Untransmittable implication". And Prep, eventually, I added. 

I have a friend who's been in a serodiscordant hetero couple for years and they've had wrapped sex from the beginning, except when they had their son in 2003 they did not want artificial insemination and tried "the traditional way" - we have celebrated the boy's driving license at the end of November 2022, the boy was born neg when this result wasn't guaranteed at all. 

But now after I _insisted_ talking about U equals U, they have switched to bare after they had long talks to doctors. 

How the fuck lucky we are today, knowing that fear of pozzing (or getting pozzed)  doesn't affect a long-term couple any longer, and if we ever want a conversion, we can PLAN it with full awareness. No regrets.

[negchaserlooking]

What a super fucking love story.

[billy88666]

What a fantastic story. Even though we were aware of the probable outcome from chapter one the story line was very well crafted. I like that both Alec and Jamie harboured thoughts of about full unprotected sex and were both using mind play to push each other into getting what they ultimately wanted.

[barebackrnb]

A fantastic story line and excellent writing!  One that has played repeatedly in my own fantasies.  Like Jamie, I , too, yearn for a poz, toxic top to dominate and breed me over and over until I convert.  Taking control of my destiny and marking me as "his" with his tainted DNA!  I suspect, but would love to know, if Jamie develops a desire to not only recharge Alec, but also poz neg guys in the same manner as Alec.

[Italynocondom]

Hot... you have to surrender to the power and charm of the poz seed