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CHAPTER FOUR "Promise me you'll never party without me." "Promise me you'll introduce me to anyone else you fuck." "Promise me you'll never slam." These were just a few of the limits Manny tried to impose on our partying. And I would only find out years later that I was the only one trying to follow his rules and feeling like a failure every time I strayed. Finally, we broke up under the weight of too little honest communication and two many miles between us. Still, we both wanted to maintain a friendship as much as possible and so every now and then we'd end up camming and smoking or just texting while high, feeling driven to share whatever hot sleazy scene we'd recently stumbled into. When I started fucking a Brazilian nurse who convinced me to try slamming, I was so turned on by the rush that I shared that with Manny. "This body builder is on his way over and he wants to introduce me to my first slam" I texted him at 2AM one Saturday in June. Usually when I sent him a PnP-related text he'd reply with "Fuckkn hot, bud. Send me video" or some variation. In fact, there were many times when I'd be coming home from work on the subway, a text from him would fly in telling me who or what tweaker is breeding his hole this very moment and I'd find myself impulsively texting one of my dealers to score so I could race home, fire up the pipe and cam with him and sometimes watch him get gang banged. So when I wanted to share the excitement over the line I was about to cross into new terrirory, yielding to a slampig to become one myself, I wasn't prepared for his reply. "Do not ever slam. That's a step too far. Slamming is too dangerous." Paolo arrived at my apartment smelling like sweat. As soon as he walked in, he made a b-line for the sofa, where he emptied his knapsack, revealing a pencil case full of 6 pre-loaded syringes. "Take off your shirt," he commanded as he found a tourniquet, alcohol swab and needle for my first flight. My cell phone was buzzing incessently. "Fuckbuddy trying to reach you," he asked I glanced down. "No. Just Worried ex-boyfriend." I texted Manny. "OK. I won't. Don't worry." as I extended my arm toward Paolo, letting him tie the band around my bicep. I looked away cause needles made me nervous but I felt him swab the area, prick the needle in. Next thing I heard the snap of the rubber being removed from my arm and him guiding my arm up overhead as a wave of intense heat and a cough overtok me. I started writhing and struggling to catch my breath as I saw Paolo hitting his own arm and then sitting his jock ass right on my fevered face. He had told me not to shower when he was on his way and his hole tasted so ripe and musky. I loved it. He then came up to face me and kiss me so he could taste his own hole on my mouth and he confessed how badly he needed to breed me and how hot it was giving me my very first slam. "You love it?" "I fuckin love this. Oh my god give me your uncut raw dick" "I really need to cum inside you" he said "I need that too" And we flip fucked for a couple hours. My phone started ringing. "Who's calling?" "The ex from LA" I said. "Answer and talk to him." "Hello," I answered the phone barely able to catch my breath. Paolo's cock was getting my hole so wet. "Are you okay?" I heard Manny sounding concerned. "Yeah. I'm really really good," I said. "Did you slam?" "No. No. I'm high. But just from smoking. Are you high?" I heard Manny getting fucked. "I was thinking about it," he lied. "Hot" I said as I watched Paolo reach into his bag for another syringe for us both. He looked at me with an evil grin asking if I want another one with his eyes. I nodded. Still on the phone with Manny I watched thi s time as the needle found a big vein in my arm, registered and slowly pushed the drug into my bloodstream. I let my breathing get more labored until I coughed. "Did you slam" he asked and Paolo grabbed my phone hung up for me and then slammed himself into the stratosphere. I took a pic of Paolo's muscular arm with a tourniquet wrapped around his bicep and texted it to Manny before turning off my phone and turning onto the intense heat of the rush of meth pumping directly in our veins.

On Friday, we celebrated Veterans Day in the US. I supported our vets and non-vets in my own special way

Fill me up after a hot and sweaty cycle ride

Part 10 (Senator Gregory White) “Stand,” the man called Hunter told me, his balls still pressed against my forehead. I could feel them moving. “Sir.” My back felt as if it was on fire, a constant stinging sending chills throughout my body. I felt alive, as if I could feel every aspect of myself in that moment. That’s what I loved about the “third listing” choice. It made me feel things anyone else, any woman I dated, any woman I fucked, couldn’t. Even then, with a stranger’s testicles pressed against my forehead, the smell of his sweat, balls, and penis invading my lungs, I felt as I always wanted to. I felt empowered. I felt as if this was what I needed to do in my life. I was satisfying the ache. My body screamed as I stood, my knees aching from crawling, the leash attached to the collar around my neck hitting my back for a brief moment. I flinched, the muscles in my back crying for relief. Fuck, I loved the feeling. “Stand tall, sir,” the man named Matt said. I could feel the leash being pulled tight, the collar around my neck pulling into my airway and causing me to gag. I stood in front of Hunter, taking in the man who was, in my opinion, the hottest man I’d ever seen, even when compared to Matt. I knew that I was seen as an attractive man, my good looks helping me in the polls. The desire many women had of fucking me drew them to my political side and, often, to my bed. The men who wanted power like mine along with my good looks only furthered that power. If this man was in politics, he’d rule the fucking world. I watched his face, wondering if he recognized me. Sometimes they would, having just seen my face on the news or an election billboard, but they often didn’t. These men had to sign forms, making it known that I’d own their asses and everything they and their family and extended family owned should they tell anyone about the things we did. They knew better, and it got me hard knowing I could do whatever I wanted to them, and they couldn’t tell anyone anything. Sometimes, I thought these men liked knowing who I was to the world, a man who spoke against the gay community in public but then got fucked by gay men in private. This gave them an energy when they were fucking me, almost punishing me for the things I said or did against them in the public eye. “Shall we begin, sir?” Matt asked, his mouth next to my ear, whispering. It sent chills down my spine, causing more pain. I nodded. Matt handed the leash to Hunter who took it, pulling me closer to him, wrapping it around his hand until I was made to stand less than an inch from his face. “Tonight, sir,” Hunter started, “we hope to bring you to the next level of your sexual experience. You will be fucking Matt’s ass while I will be fucking yours. By the end of tonight, we hope to have drained your balls of all the cum possible. Is that to your liking?” I nodded, feeling my heart racing at the thought of this man’s large member opening me up, possibly splitting me in two. I turned and saw Matt lying on his back on my bed, his hands pulling his legs back over his chest, revealing his puckered hole. And I’ll split him in two, I thought, my cock jumping at the thought. He had a tight ass, the kind of ass you dreamed of making your own. “It’s time,” Matt said, winking at me. I looked to Hunter who nodded, leading me over to the bed. “I’m all lubed up, sir,” Matt said, reaching down to run his hand over his hole. “I need you to fuck me harder than you’ve ever fucked anyone before. Are you ready?” I nodded, climbing onto the bed and pulling his legs around my sides, feeling them pulling me in. I ran my hands along his legs, feeling the muscles beneath. The bed shook behind me as Hunter climbed onto the mattress, his impressive size coming behind me, looming over like a god. I looked back and down, seeing his hard cock standing straight out, aiming for my ass. Now, seeing it nearly within me, I found myself nervous at the pain which would be breaking my body. “I’m lubed up, sir,” Hunter said, whispering in my ear. His hand reached around and handed the leash to Matt who took it and then held it between his teeth, growling at me. “Shall we begin?” I moved forward and lined my dick up with Matt’s hole, watching as his hole opened, welcoming me inside. Carefully, I pushed inside, feeling his body pulling me in, almost begging for my cock to enter him. Matt smiled, winking at me. Fuck, this man was gorgeous. “Hands behind your back,” Hunter said. I did as I was told, feeling a fabric wrapping around my wrists, binding them together. “This tie looks better on you like this,” Hunter told me, his warm breath on my neck before I felt him kissing along my shoulder. “I’m going to enter you, sir. As you’ve seen already, I’m a large man, and my penis is even larger. I’ll be careful, but this will hurt. Are you ready?” I nodded, my heart racing even faster than before. I needed this. I wanted this. “Remember,” Hunter said, his one arm wrapping around my chest while his free hand moved his dick to my hole, “you’ve earned this.” (Hunter) I pressed my dick against the senator’s hole and forced my way inside, holding onto his arms as I felt him fighting against my major intrusion. The muscles in his arms tensed along with the muscles in his back. I looked down at Matt who, even with the leash in his mouth, was smiling. Clearly, with the senator’s dick already far into his ass, he felt as if he was going to win this wishboning. Sensing that he could be right, I forced the entirety of my dick into his ass, causing him to jump. “GAH!” Senator White cried, the gag keeping him silent enough. I smiled. It’s funny, I thought. He still thinks this is about him and what he wants. He hasn’t figured out that we captured him between a rock and a hard place. He’s stuck between two men who only want to use him for his life. “I love when I get a man with a tight hole,” I said, watching as Matt’s ass was filled with a worthless, neg cock. Matt pulled the leash into his hand, pulling the senator’s body closer to him. “I love when my tight hole gets filled with a big, throbbing dick.” He looked directly into my eyes and smiled. “I can already feel him leaking inside me.” While Senator White tried to fuck Matt’s ass, he quickly became a tool between us to use. I slammed my dick into the senator’s ass, forcing him into Matt’s hole. We made him into a human condom, the only type of condom I’d ever use. “How’s that feel, sir?” I asked, grabbing his neck, my hands wrapping over the collar. I admire the leather digging into his skin. Senator White moaned, his body covered in sweat. I could feel his heartbeat on my cock, but I couldn’t tell if his body was closer to surrendering to me or to Matt. Just because I would be fucking the neg cum out of the senator’s body and into Matt’s ass, that didn’t mean Matt would win the game. Either way, we’d both get off, but only one of us would be the one to poz his body and change his life forever. “Fuck my hole,” Matt cried out, pulling on the leash. “Fill me up with that cock. Blow your load deep in my gay ass!” I undid the gag, pulling it from the senator’s mouth, hearing instantly his moans as Matt milked his cock and I pulverized his prostate. “How’s that feel, sir?” “Fuck me,” he cried, panting, trying to catch his breath. “Fuck me harder!” I looked at Matt, winking. “If you say so.” I reached down and grabbed his bound hands with one hand and then slammed my other palm onto his back, making sure to catch the reddest skin where I knew it would sting. Matt pulled on the leash, bringing the senator’s face down to Matt’s chest where he held him down, securing him as I assaulted his ass. “What the FUCK!” Senator White screamed, wriggling between us, trying to break free of our combined hold. “You can’t fight us now, Senator,” Matt said, his legs moving up and wrapping around his back, pinning his arms down. “You know we know who you are,” I said, feeling his heartbeat moving toward my own, my body flushed with a pulsing heat. “We’ve been waiting to find a man like you to teach a lesson.” “Did you think you could spout your hate on TV,” Matt said, “and fuck us in the dark? Not anymore, you fucker.” “It’s time for everyone to know the type of man you really are,” I said, my heartbeat quickening, his own racing to meet my own. Matt looked at me, and in that look, I could tell that he knew he had lost the fuck. The senator was mine. I slammed into his hole, feeling our bodies syncing as his balls twisted in his sack, ridding himself of his neg, homophobic cum, turning his balls into carriers of my strain. Senator White’s body shook over Matt’s body, his neck straining against the collar. Matt released him, the senator’s body shooting up, his head thrown back. “Fuck, I hate losing,” Matt said, his hole still getting fucked by the senator’s changing, unaware body. “But I love watching them surrender to your cock.” “That’s fucking right,” I said, dragging my nails down the senator’s back, creating marks and drawing blood from his already abused back. “Who claimed your hole?” “You did,” the senator said, tears starting to stream down his face. “Who is about to fill your hole with poz cum?” “You will.” “Whose balls are going to transform and brew my special, toxic cum?” “My balls.” “And whose life is now fucked forever as I infect every part of his body and mind, taking his life for my own?” “My life,” the senator said. “I didn’t hear that,” I growled, grabbing his head and turning it back, making sure I could see the tears as they fell down his cheeks. “My life,” he said again. “Sir.” “That’s fucking right!” I slammed into him, my cum filling his body, changing his DNA, making his balls mine, and ruining his life. I could see every aspect of his life, all the choices he made to become the lying politician hated by so many and fucked by many others in secret. I saw the women he lied to and the men he used. I could feel the ache he pushed down, refusing to acknowledge as his true self. I saw him rising in his political career, lying his way into a leader of the Republican Party. I could see him running for president, winning, and making life a living hell for anyone who considered themselves gay. I could see him still using men for his own purpose, but unlike myself, I didn’t hide. He was a poison, and I was ending his toxicity with my own. As I saw his future disappear, I found myself holding his head tight, my lips to his ears, my words entering his mind. “You will continue to serve as you have,” I told him, seeing the reality unfold as I spoke it into existence. “You will work without drawing suspicion from the other members of your party, but you’re changed now. Your body, your life, is mine. I am your god now. You will fuck as many of the men as you can, undoing everything you say you fight for, revealing yourselves to be the worst of hypocrites. You will use my toxic cum to poison the men who wish to tear us down. Do you understand your new purpose?” “Yes,” he said, the image of the senator fucking every male politician imaginable filling both of our thoughts. I could see them all together, an orgy of men surrendering their time to me, the man who took them down. “And once you’ve infected enough of the men, you will reveal yourself to be the hypocritical slut you’ve always been. You will lose everything you have, all the respect you’ve worked so hard to gain. You will spend whatever remains of your life getting fucked by the very men you hated, taking their cocks into your ass and getting covered by their cum. You will degrade yourself, and you will never be deemed respectable again. What do you say?” Senator White’s realization of his fate broke through, and he looked into my eyes, seeing the hate within my own. “Thank you, sir,” he said. “Now, fuck off.” I pulled my dick out of his hole and watched him fall back onto the mattress, his own dick falling out of Matt’s hole which was leaking an incredible amount of cum. I watched as my own cum leaked out of the senator’s hole, dripping down over his changing balls. “That was a good fuck,” Matt said, reaching down and scooping up the neg cum leaking out of his body. He wiped it over the senator’s body. “Glad you came?” I looked down at the sleeping senator’s body, remembering all the things he had done, all the things he could have done, and all the things I’d make sure he’d do in order to ruin his pathetic life. I grabbed the flog and beat his ass, making sure to hit his balls. Within the red, I could see his new biohazard tattoo appearing. I slashed down one last time on the tattoo, making sure it would hurt. “Yeah,” I told him, pulling off the leather band I wore over my tattoo, seeing the fading ink. “I’m glad I came.”

PART 11 There I stood, naked from the waist down in only a T-shirt. My legs were still a little rubbery from balancing myself while the last guy had fucked me. And my dick was still rock hard. The adrenaline and endorphins kicking thru my 18 year old body, combined with the raunch of where I was with all this porn and the smell of cum all around me, knowing guys are getting off in the booths around me, was almost too much to take. My senses had long since gone to overload. It was like being starving and then getting to eat at the best buffet you could imagine. And even though my legs felt like jelly and my hole was already a little sore, I couldn’t shut it off, that feeling of needing cock and cum. And now here I was, with multiple loads already in me, standing naked in front of a total stranger. Thru the glare off the screen I could get a decent look at him as we sized each other up. He was definitely in his 40’s and tall, really tall. And very thin. He was mostly balding and had his hair cropped very short, which combined with his mustache just made him extra hot to me. This time it was me thst closed the distance as I reached out and stroked his cock thru his pants. “Still hungry?” He whispered. Without a word he tugged my shirt off and then he slipped his shirt off and his pants. We were both totally nude in the booth. And now seeing him naked, I just wanted him more. He had to be st least 6 4” and something about how thin he was just made him sexier. And then there was his cock. It was gorgeous. He was more than half hard already and I could see a perfect cut cock, at least 8 inches with a nice prounounced head and just the slightest upward arch along the thick shaft. And his massive balls hung low as they sagged below. I began to slide to my knees but he stopped me. “Turn around boy. Bend over and show me that ass,” he whispered in my ear as he spun me around. I put my knees up against the bench and spread myself wide for him. I could sense as he slid down on his knees, putting his face level with my ass. “Fuck yeah” he whispered, “look at that hole. All that cum. Fucking hot boy.” I responded by trying to spread even wider and pushing my ass out. I felt him gripping my ass cheeks and then his beard as it brushed my ass cheek. And then he was rimming my hole, even more than that, he was devouring it. I bucked uncontrollably as he held me in place. I am sure I made noise as I gasped and sighed as my body shuddered while he made love to my hole with his mouth. The way he teased and licked and literally fucked my hole with his tongue was almost beyond what I could take. It felt so good, and with my hands holding me up, my hard cock just swayed in the air leaking precum as I ground my ass back. Then he was up and I could feel him as he bent over me. I felt his hot breath against my neck as he spoke to me. “How old are you boy?” I whispered my age back. “18 and in an adult book store getting fucked. And taking loads. You horny little fucker.” “It’s my first time here. I just... I really like getting fucked and the guys didn’t want to use condoms so I...” i drifted off, unsure what to say. The whole time I could feel his cock resting in my ass crack, driving me crazy. “I don’t like condoms either.” He whispered as he breathed hot and heavy in my ear. “That’s ok. I don’t... I don’t like them either. You can cum in me.” I whispered urgently, my need for cock overpowering me. “Yeah. You fucking like having a guy cum in you don’t you? I have a huge load for you. Do you want it? Do you want me to cum in you?” He asked as he grinded against my hole. “Yeah. I fucking want it please. You can cum in me please.” I practically begged. And now his hand was down there and I felt the pressure of that hard cock as it forced my hole open. “Yeah open up for me. Open up that hole.” He whispered as he drove his cock into me. I concentrated on relaxing my hole as he worked it open. With all the cum me cocks I had already taken, it wasn’t long before my hole blossomed for him and he began to fuck me harder. Leaning over me again he whispered “what’s your boy?” I managed to whimper out my name. “Chris, you have such a hot right hole. I want to fuck it again. I’m gonna leave you my number to call me when you need more cum. Do you want my cum? Want me to cum inside you Chris?” “Please. Please cum inside me. I want it. I want it so badly.” I did beg this time. “It’s such a big load Chris. My balls make so much cum. I want to flood you so bad. Is it ok that I have hiv?” He whispered in my ear. An electric jolt went thru me. I had a an hiv oositive cock inside me. A really big cock that was hitting me so deep and felt so good. And that breath against my neck and in my ear and the feel of his hands pulling my hips back to meet his body. My body made the decision for me. “It’s ok.” I whispered so quietly I wasn’t sure he heard me. Then he kissed my neck. “I’m gonna give you my load in a few seconds Chris. And I’ll be in you forever. You want that fucking cum Chris? Want me to shoot my load inside you?” He said thru clenched teeth. “Please! I want it I want it I want your cum.” And I did. I was pushing back bf when he gripped my hips extra tight I pushed back hard to make sure that cock was as deep in my guts as it could be when the first jets of cum pulsed out of the head. “Fuck yeah, take it chris. Take that fucking load.” He grunted as he bucked and jabbed his cock deeper with each throb of his cock. I clenched and pulled at his cock with my hole, trying to milk every drop out. As his orgasm subsided and he came down, he slowly slid out of me. We were both silent as we dressed. Then he handed me a piece of paper. “That’s my number Chris . My place is only a few minutes away. When that hole needs more cum, you call me, ok?” Taking the paper I nodded. Looking closely at me, es asked quietly, “are you ok with that poz cum inside you right now Chris? No regrets?” I was nervous as hell but I wasn’t regretting it. “No...I... i liked it.” He smiled and ruffled my hair. “Don’t make me wait for that hole. I want it again. Soon! And call anytime. No matter what time it is, when you want my special cum, you just call Rich” And then the door was open and he was out and the door closed again. I wasn’t sure my legs would work to get me to the parking lot. Finally, I took a deep breath and opened the door and walked out. As I wobbled out, the clerk looked at me and winked. I had been there over an hour and had taken four loads. And Ted.... he had told me he had hiv and I still couldn’t stop. And now I had his number. He was so hot. Safe in my car, the reality hit me and I got the shakes a little. I was 18 and had just had unprotected sex it’s four guys and one for sure has hiv. And Ted was so hot and his cock as perfect. And when he can his cock throbbed so hard it felt like it must be pumping jets of cum. And he told me to call anytime. Like he knows I can’t resist him. All of this rushed thru my head. And I knew even then, I was gonna call ted. It was just a matter of how long i could hold out. And the bookstore, oh I was going to be there a lot.

PART 4 Tim’s cock wasn’t even halfway in me and I was sure I was being torn up. My first cock was huge and I was trying so hard to relax. But as he slowly worked his hips and worked that massive rod into me, my hole finally seemed to open up. And it felt so good. Instant bottom. And he just kept slowly pumping that man cock into me. “Fuck your hole is so tight. Such a hot little hole,” he grunted. Inspired by the fact that I was pleasing him, for the first time I pushed back against him. I wanted more of him inside me. I wanted to make him feel good. I wanted to make him cum. “Yeah, you like it. You like that big cock inside you don’t you?” He asked. “So good, feels so good,” was all I could get out, as he picked up speed. He wasn’t pounding me, but he was getting more aggressive and taking longer strokes. I had never even imagined it could feel so good. And knowing my hole was making his cock feel good got me so hot I knew i couldn’t even touch my cock. It was like steel and precum was pouring out. I would cum the second I started stroking. And now I was getting pounded. Each slam home knocking my breath out. “Oh god oh god oh god,” who knows how many times I said that. “So close. Fucking tight little boy ass,” he grunted through clenched teeth. “Wanna.... wanna make you cum. Cum in me. Cum in me, “ I begged. He was frantic now, his thrusts getting erratic. It seemed like he was close. “Can’t cum in you. Gotta... gotta pull out. Fuck gonna cum. Oh fuck gonna cum.” I don’t even know where it came from or why it seemed so important to me, an 18 year old virgin, but I wanted to make him cum with my ass. I didn’t want him to finish jerking off. “No! I practically shouted reaching out my hands and pulling him into me, just as he was trying to pull out. Gripping him, I felt him buck and spasm as his giant cock erupted inside of me. I ground into him as I felt his cock pulse and instinctively knew what thAt meant, each spasm meant a shot of cum spraying into me. And it spasmed a lot. I loosened my grip as he finished and I felt his orgasm subside. He slowly slid out of me and looked down. “I’m Sorry. I shouldn’t have let you, I shouldn’t have finished inside you,“ he said quietly. I looked up at him, naive as I was. “Why? It felt so good. I swear, it felt SO GOOD. And I wanted to make you cum with... with my butt. And I FELT it! Your cum. I could feel it like in me,” I said like a kid that just discovered candy. He just looked at me in the same way and said, “Chris, it’s not... it isn’t safe for... I have HIV.”

Denial is a powerful thing. Denial can blind you to facts and make it easier to lie to yourself. Denial can protect you from harm. Denial can make you stronger… and weaker. And denial can hone desire. The first time I saw Kurt it was Tuesday, April 25th and he was fucking a guy at the bar. I remember the date because of “Miss Congeniality”. I also remember it because I had agreed to meet there for a first date with a guy I met on Grindr. Naturally he never showed up. Go figure. Technically Kurt wasn’t fucking the guy “at the bar” but in the bathroom. At the trough urinal to be precise. After drinking three beers while waiting for Mr. No-Show, I needed to relieve myself… and there he was. Nailing some twink while they were standing at one side of the trough. The twink was braced up against the wall and Kurt had his hands on his hips and was drilling away. The remaining open area of the trough was occupied by another guy who was ostensibly pissing, but mainly watching the show. And then there was me. Standing there. Utterly frozen. Now, I wouldn’t say I’m a prude, sexually. I’d definitely had my fair share of sexual experiences. But my sex to date had been fairly straightforward and shall we say, tame. Definitely not of the “fucking in a bar bathroom” variety. Sure, I’d jacked off to porn like this- but I’d never encountered it in real life. So I think I was kind of stunned to have stumbled into such a scene at my local gay bar. Stunned—yet titillated at the same time. Instantly I had that nervous excitement about it in my guts. Like “this is wrong, but why does it excite me”? Looking back, I’m not sure what it was about Kurt that attracted me so completely and so quickly. I mean, I didn’t usually make a habit of lusting after guys who go around fucking in public toilets. But I was instantly mesmerized by him. Perhaps it was me attaching the sight of him the heady aroma of stale piss, ripe pits, naphtha, and pheromones. Or maybe it was my body tuning into the pulsing waves of sexual confidence radiating from him. Or maybe it was because I was horny and he was just a fucking ridiculously handsome man. Kurt was one of those empirically hot men- the kind you see in Colt magazines or 80’s porn. He was tall. Like a good head taller than me. Swarthy. Muscular. Broad chest and back. Short black hair and a thick beard so dense you could just make out a slash of a mouth in there. A jaw and nose like they’d been sculpted by an LA cosmetic surgeon. A dark pelt of fur covered his substantial chest and taut stomach. Thighs like a Greco Roman wrestler. Was he Italian? Greek? Lebanese? Whatever it was, he was fiercely handsome and built like a fuck tank. That night he was in biker boots, jeans and a leather harness with metal arm bands accentuating his ample biceps. He also had leather wrist cuffs on- like a modern day sex gladiator. As he pummeled the twink, I just stood and stared at him. It was like seeing a unicorn—the kind of guy that never really seemed to exist in real life. The guy pissing eventually left and freed up the trough, but I couldn’t move even though I really had to go. Kurt seemed to sense my presence. Without missing a thrust he called back over his shoulder in a deep voice, “You wanna use him next? I’m just about through.” This sort of snapped me out of it. I kind of stammered a bit and said no, thank you and that I just needed to pee. I moved to the free area next to them, as far to the side as I could manage in order to give them space. I was just freeing my dick from my pants when Kurt looked over. And I made the mistake of looking back. Time seemed to stop as we locked eyes. He stopped thrusting and just stared at me. And I stared back. He was just so beautiful that I felt I should look away. That I wasn’t worth being scrutinized by him. But I couldn’t look away. I was completely immobilized. After what felt like an eternity he spoke. “Don’t piss yet,” he commanded as he continued to stare into my soul. I merely swallowed and nodded my acceptance. Kurt started thrusting again and picked up his tempo, never taking his eyes off mine. Have you ever had a guy look you in the eye while he’s fucking someone else? All that naked lust projected at you. It’s animal. Almost feral. And even though you aren’t being physically penetrated, all of that Alpha energy has a choke-hold on your most primal core. His unblinking stare is daring you to look away from the stolen intimacy. But you won’t look away. You can’t. You are utterly frozen- powerless- waiting until the release of his seed releases his hold over you. Let me tell you. It’s intoxicating. Like nothing I’d ever felt before. It felt like we were in our own time bubble until suddenly he grunts loudly and I know he’s emptying himself into the blissed out twink. He slowly pulls out, gaze unwavering. I finally broke eye contact to look down at the meat that was slowly exiting the twink’s ass. Damn… it was long pullout. A thick, long, glistening cock with a fat, ruddy head eventually popped free of the hole. An enormous PA glinted in the half-light as his cock swung free of its anal confines. I swear Kurt wagged it a bit knowing that I was watching it. I could feel myself blushing. “Now you can piss,” Kurt commanded in a low voice. “Inside him.” My eyes snapped back to him. “Whu- whu- what?” I managed to squeak out. Kurt’s eyes glittered darkly. “Piss. Up his ass. He’s a worthless fuckin’ urinal and I wanna watch you use him as such.” I hesitated. I’d never done anything remotely like this before, and to be honest the whole scene felt like a fever dream. It was all so surreal. Things like this just didn’t happen to me and my brain was shutting down. My skin was hot and felt like it was vibrating. I found myself highly aroused, which disturbed me. It’s like he tapped into some dark sexual side of me that I didn’t know existed but longed to be released. And much like a dream, I felt like I was just being swept along in the story. “Do it. I wanna watch you piss my cum deep into his guts.” I still hadn’t really moved from my side of the trough, my fly undone and my dick out and really needing to piss at this point. Normally I’m pretty pee shy (and also shy about guys seeing my erect dick), but Kurt exerting control was overcoming my shyness and making my cock stiffen regardless. I saw Kurt’s eyes flick down to my groin and then a tug of a grin at the corner of his mouth. “Yeah, you Clark Kent preppy-types. You look like good boys, but there’s always a Superpig hiding just below the surface. All you need is that phone booth.” In a daze I slowly took position behind the twink, and slid my steel-hard dick inside his slick, well-opened chute. I could feel the wet heat of his ass engulf me, but my cock and body was dissociated from my brain. It was like I was watching myself do all of this from beyond myself- aware of it all, but also a bystander. “Fuck him,” Kurt growled. I’m embarrassed to say that I lasted all of perhaps 30 seconds. Kurt, the scene, the fact that this was so beyond the pale for me fairly short circuited my brain. My orgasm caught me by surprise and sort of startled me back to reality. “Oh my god. I just came in him. Without a condom,” I said in a confused whisper. Kurt looked at me with hooded eyes. “Good boy. Now relax that bladder. Fill this urinal up.” Was I really going to do this? I’d just cum inside a random guy at the bar and now I was being asked to piss his ass? All this in the bathroom at the bar on a dead Tuesday night? I could feel myself relaxing into the idea, but also warring against it. The urge to piss was strong and my erection waning, but I was still clenched. Kurt leaned in to whisper. “You’re gonna piss in him… for me. Because I’m giving you permission to give in to your desires. And because you know it will please me.” His hot breath on my neck made me shiver. Or was it merely a pee shiver? Or was it a shiver of my naked desire to please this fucking Alpha sex god? Whatever it was, the last of my inhibitions with the scene fell away and my bladder started emptying into the twink. Something I feel I should mention- I have a big bladder. I’m one of those guys at the movie theater who after the movie lets out, I’m at the urinal for a solid 3 minutes of pissing. Like, the urinals on either side of me will change over at least twice while I’m standing there. I get really self-conscious about it because I always think I might look like a [banned word] or something hanging out in a bathroom. So I always aim for the water so guys can audibly hear that I’m actually going still and not wanking it. (Yeah, I’ve had lots of time to analyze this). After a minute or so, Kurt asks the twink, “He pissing in you?” “Oh god damn yes sir! So much piss sir! I’m getting so full sir!” Kurt looks at me again with a smirk- his glittering, dark eyes raking my very soul. “Good boys.” I eventually finish, and slowly pull out of the urinal kid. “Now clean off his dick,” Kurt tells him. The twink rapidly drops and takes my dick in his mouth and starts sucking me. While this is happening, Kurt is tucking his flaccid equipment back into his jeans and buttoning up. Kurt has washed up and is walking out of the bathroom before I snap out of this weird sex trance. I quickly pull my dick from the twink’s mouth and zipped up. The twink silently resumed his standing post at the trough, awaiting others while I headed for the sink. As I was washing up, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I didn’t even recognize the guy on the other side. What the fuck just happened? I don’t fuck random guys. And I certainly didn’t engage in water sports. Who WAS this person? Had I been drugged? I kind of felt a bit sick to my stomach. But I felt something else too… satisfaction? I splashed water on my face and toweled off before leaving the bathroom. When I made it back to the bar, Kurt was nowhere to be seen. I felt like I needed some answers so I quickly flag the bartender over. “Excuse me, but have you seen a big, burly, dark haired guy who was in a harness and…”. The bartender cuts me off with a harsh, appraising look. “Kurt just left,” he interrupts. “Don’t tell me he’s dickmatized another one?” Another one meaning me. “Oh… no. I just, um, wanted to… talk…to him. Maybe?” The bartender snorted. “Good luck, kid,” he said as he shook his head. “You’re gonna need it.” * * So his name was Kurt, that much I’d learned from the bartender. But where had he come from? Why hadn’t I ever seen him out before? Granted I almost never went to the bars, but still. Someone like him I figure I would have noticed at some point. Or heard about. Or seen online. Or something. Needless to say, I became obsessed with him. Like all-consuming, can’t-focus-at-work obsessed. Every waking moment I was replaying the bathroom scene in my head. My dick was getting raw from jacking off to it. I looked for him on the apps. I looked for him when I was shopping at the grocery store. I started rotating to other gyms in my network to see if I could catch a glimpse of him because he obviously worked out. All to no avail. I also started going to the bar more frequently in the hopes of running into him again. I started to go every Tuesday at the same time as before. But since that wasn’t yielding any results, I started peppering in other nights of the week. And Friday happy hours. I even started asking Charlie (the bartender) about him. As I was becoming a regular, I’d gotten on a first name basis with him. This particular night I plaintively asked, “You seen him recently?” I didn’t even have to give a name anymore as Charlie knew exactly who I was talking about. Normally he’d just roll his eyes at me and shake his head. “Actually, he was in two nights ago,” Charlie told me. Rats! I’d missed him! “And…?” I asked like the needy bitch I was becoming. Charlie looked uncomfortable. “Um, well. He picked up some out of towner, and they left together.” I was crestfallen and Charlie noticed. “Look kiddo. You need to set your sights on a different guy. Kurt is… well, I don’t think he’s a good match for you. I mean, he’s off-the-charts sexy, and you know the fuck would be epic. He’d probably split a little guy like you in half! But he has… issues. And I don’t think he’s exactly your scene. You’d just find yourself used and discarded like a teenage boy’s tube sock. That’s it. “Look. You are cute as hell with a bangin’ little bod on you. And you seem like you got it together, with a good head on your shoulders- at least when it hasn’t been turned by Kurt. You need to put yourself out there and find a nice guy, like yourself. Or even a not so nice guy if you just want sex. You honestly can get yourself any man you want at the drop of a hat!” “I’m not *that* nice,” I replied sullenly. “And evidently I can’t get *any* man.” Charlie just sadly shook his head. It wasn’t until a couple months later that I was at the bar (also on a Tuesday, as it was becoming my regular night) when I saw Kurt again. I almost didn’t recognize him at first. His hair was a bit longer and he was completely clean-shaven. He was also wearing rimless glasses that went with his business-casual drag for the evening. But it was him. It was definitely him. He was leaning up against the bar, beer in hand, in a tight, navy blue polo that looked like it was straining to contain him. He was also chatting with another guy who had his back to me. Kurt was smiling and laughing a little at what the other guy was saying and I felt jealously uncoil in my guts. I positioned myself in Kurt’s line of sight, and tried my best not to stare. It wasn’t working. Kurt wasn’t looking- he only apparently had eyes for this other guy. I drank down my whole beer this way… waiting for Kurt to notice me. Or at least to acknowledge my presence. It didn’t happen. When the other guy finally excused himself to the restroom, I decided it was time to make my move. I walked up to where Kurt was standing and leaned on the bar next to him. “Hey Kurt,” was my opening line. Smooth. He slowly turned to me and then casually tipped his chin down to regard me. His eyes were amber. I wasn’t expecting that. Seconds passed as he stared blankly at me. “Do I know you?” he finally said in a somewhat bored voice. “Um… no. Not exactly… But, um… there was this one time that we….” My voice died on my lips as Kurt’s friend returned. Kurt flicked a dismissive look in my direction and immediately turned away from me and started talking with his friend again. They spoke as if I were invisible. “So—friend of yours?” the guy asked. “Nope. Some rando… He just came up and started talking to me. It was really awkward. So, you wanna get out of here?” “Fuck yeah, daddy, I want my gift! Let’s go!” And then without another look in my direction, Kurt and his “plus one” left for the evening. My eyes stung as I stood at the bar. It was taking a massive effort not to cry right then and there; not like it would have mattered in the mostly dead bar. But still, public bawling over a guy was not high on my to do list. Maybe it was my jealousy, but all I kept thinking was ‘why did he leave with that guy’? I mean, I didn’t think he was all that cute. He was some average, mid-30’s, banker type with a receding hairline and a paunch. Was *that* Kurt’s type? What did he see in him? It was like a gut-punch to the old self-esteem. Eventually Charlie sauntered over, a concerned look on his face. “You ok, kid?” “Charlie, he looked at me like I was something he scraped off his shoe. I haven’t been made to feel like that since high school,” I said. “I mean, what’s that other guy got that I don’t got?” “A death wish,” Charlie mumbled. “What was that?” I asked, curious about his choice of words. “Nothin’ kid. I’m sorry you’re still hung up on him and I know it hurts a bit, but it’s for the best. Hell, they’re called ‘crushes’ for a reason.” He poured me a bourbon and set it in front of me. “Maker’s Mark… for affairs of the heart.” And then he took his leave, so I could nurse the drink, and my wounds, in private. * * After that, I became a bit less of a bar fly and a bit less stalkerish. Kurt still crossed my mind, but now instead of horny, it made me angry. Although I will admit that I found his facebook profile during one of my weaker moments. It was fairly private, so I couldn’t learn much. And it didn’t look like he had posted much in a few years. All I could see were a few pics of him with a guy named Bo who looked like he could be my older brother. However, I had so far managed to resist the urge to request friendship, which I saw as a definite win. I was slowly weaning myself off of Kurt, and getting back to somewhat of a focused life. And it felt good. So a month later when I saw Kurt again, it sort of caught me off guard. Although it really shouldn’t have- as it was at a sex party. Now, let me be clear. Sex parties are not my forte. I’ve only been to like 3 of them, like, ever. And while they are kind of exciting, I think perhaps I give off the wrong sort of vibe or something? Maybe I look too goody two-shoes? Or like I won’t participate? Or I look like I’m nervous (because I am). Whatever it is, I never seem to get laid at them. Maybe a little sucky sucky, but that’s kind of it. Which can be a bit depressing when you see others having loads of fun, so to speak. Anyway, my waning crush on Kurt had left me in a bit of a randy mood- considering I had been so focused on him that I hadn’t had sex in months. So I hit up a friend of a friend of mine whom I knew to have semi-regular sex parties at their fairly large (and sluttily equipped) home. As luck would have it, they were hosting one that coming Saturday evening as a July 4th “Bang Bash” and yes, I was welcome to “cum”. I received an email with directions and timing and rules (along with their strict no drugs policy). And by the time Saturday rolled around, I was fairly well vibrating I was so damn horny. Not wanting to seem too eager, I waited until 45 minutes after the party start time in order to arrive. I didn’t think I could take arriving early and being scrutinized by other party guests. It would make me even more self-conscious than I already am. When I arrived, I was shown where to put my clothes. As I disrobed, I was informed there were about 50 or so guys already there, the basement was in full swing, and that I should head on down. So I quickly got down to my jock, sneakers, and backward Cubs cap. One final check in the mirror convinced me I looked cute enough for this and I made my way downstairs. My glasses fogged briefly as I entered the humidity from the sweaty bodies. You could smell sex and poppers in the air. The basement area was illuminated by red bulbs, some rainbow LEDs and occasional bursts of laser lighting. House music throbbed to provide an ambient noise level to mask some of the fuck noises and lower inhibitions. It was a very heady combo, I’ll admit. I wandered around as I seem to do at such events, never quite sure of where to look or what to do with my hands. I saw several guys standing and/or kneeling as blow jobs were underway all over the place. A couple of guys were fucking in a darkened corner—the slap of flesh keeping time with the music. I watched them fuck for a little while. They were oblivious to my presence. As I wandered more I saw guys making out in groups of 3, 4 and more. There were guys on a couch and bent over chairs. It was a smorgasbord of sex. And then I saw him. His profile was unmistakable as he stood in a small knot of guys surrounding a sling. My stomach clenched and I nearly turned around to go back upstairs. But something made me hold my ground. I could tell that there was a guy in the sling, and that he was being fucked. I was hesitant to go watch- even though I wanted to- because of him. Suddenly a small voice inside me said, “Fuck him! You were invited here. It isn’t his party. You have every right to watch too.” So I made my way over to the sling. And thereby to Kurt. I stepped up to the side of the sling across from Kurt, keeping my eyes glued to the guy fucking the hot, furry, muscle cub who was currently getting his ass well and truly used. I had to will myself not to look over at him, but damnit if I wasn’t going to do my best to ignore that fucker the way he’d ignored me. It wasn’t going to be easy though, because in my peripheral vision I could tell Kurt was staring at me. Hard. Muscle cub by this time had found my cock and fished it out of my jock. He was jacking me and I was quickly wickedly hard. I shifted myself up toward his head so he could suck me while he was getting fucked. I shifted my gaze to the muscle cub’s face as he worked my cock. Anything to hold my attention and to keep me from looking at Kurt. Muscle cub was cute. Blonde. Stocky. Shoulders and arms for days. Nice pecs on him. And seeing him in such a vulnerable position on his back with his legs in the stirrups made my loins stir. I didn’t know if I wanted to do him… or be him. Probably a bit of column A and a bit of column B. Again, it was like I entered a sex trance and I was disconnected from my cock and this activity—I was aware of it but it was like I was dissociated from it all. Plus, I mean, again who *was* this guy who was actually participating at an orgy? Normally I couldn’t even get hard if there was more than one other guy in the room as I was too embarrassed and self-conscious. But tonight it was different. Because he was here. Dimly acknowledged in the back of my brain burned this solitary idea. I wanted to strike back at Kurt. I wanted him to see what I was doing. I wanted him to watch me fucking this guy’s mouth. I wanted to show him I could take pleasure without his permission and without even acknowledging him. In a misguided way, I was trying to wound him like he had wounded me at the bar. Although I honestly had no idea why I believed this would even phase him or where this idea had germinated. All I knew was that fucker was going to notice me and remember me this time. The guy fucking the muscle cub came suddenly—and very demonstrably. The cub pulled off my cock to moan in delight and say “Oh fuck yeah! Breed me!” As my eyes swept to the man emptying himself inside the cub, I stumbled. In a weak moment, I glanced over at him- I swear it was involuntary! And just as if he were medusa, my breath caught in my chest and I was immediately petrified under his gaze. He’d buzzed his hair down to fuzz, and his beard was at that heavier than 5 o’clock shadow stage. He was naked except for his harness. And tonight he wore a steel cock ring which matched the PA. This was the first time I’d seen the full expanse of his body, and my god he was beautiful. Like, everything was just perfectly proportioned. Everything except his fairly enormous cock. As we stared at each other? Waves. My god, the pulsing waves of pure, unadulterated sex that bombarded me from this man were unlike anything I’d ever felt! I could feel the thrum in my skin. Again, I blame the stench of man-sex and poppers and the July heat of the room and the music and pheromones. I didn’t even feel the cub’s mouth on my dick anymore (he’d evidently gone back to sucking me at some point- I honestly hadn’t noticed). I was lost in Kurt’s stare which was a grappling hook in my heart. With a small head gesture from him, I pulled my dick from the cub’s mouth and walked down to the now vacant end of the sling. Still locked into his eyes, Kurt reached out and placed a hand on my shoulder and added a slight pressure downward. I knew what he wanted, and even though I’d never rimmed a guy before, I obeyed. I slowly sank down, and started tonguing the cub’s furry pucker. The heat of his butthole and the tang of semen hit my tongue like a one-two punch, and it shocked me. A fuse blew, and I just started to eat his ass with abandon. The cub was moaning and begging for more, and I could feel him pushing out some of the cum for me. Tasting what he’d collected from these other men in this way drove me into a frenzy. In a hazy way, could tell my brain wanted to analyze what the fuck was going on with me, but I was too busy being swept along in the sexual current of the moment. I felt Kurt’s hand under my chin, gently lifting me upward. Again, he didn’t have to tell me what he wanted. I just knew. I absentmindedly reached for a condom, opened it and rolled it on. I spit on my hand and lubed up, although I didn’t need much. The cub was already well lubricated from several others. While continuing to be held by Kurt’s stare, I slid into the cub and started fucking him. Slowly, I let the sling rock back and forth, feeling the cub’s hot, hairy little hole slide up and down my shaft. Through my stare I was trying to telepathically communicate to Kurt that this is what *I* wanted. I wanted to be in the sling, him to be sheathed inside me— my hole working his shaft. Me giving him my body and giving him pleasure, and taking pleasure in return. During the fuck, Kurt moved closer. I felt his thumb and forefinger encircle my cock at the base as I fucked the cub. I was keenly aware that this was the first time he’d touched me, and I shuddered. On the outstroke, I could feel Kurt using his hand to work the condom up my shaft. Then he lined me up and I thrust back in. Then on the outstroke again, Kurt’s hand working the condom up. By the 4th stroke or so, it was just now at my head. He deftly pulled it off. Without missing a beat, he lined me up again and I slid back inside the cub. Kurt was again directing me as he wanted and I was his slave. He then leaned in close to me again and gruffly whispered, “Now breed him. He’s a cumdump and I wanna watch you give him what he wants.” I obeyed. I grabbed the chains of the sling and looked down at the muscle cub I was using as directed. He really was a cute guy, the kind of “aw shucks” guy it looks like you’d want to date and take home to your parents. At least until you found out he was a dirty, fucking slut. Which right now made my dick that much harder. His hole felt like wet silk on my raw dick. As I was building tempo, Kurt moved up to the head of the sling and tucked his prodigious unit in the cub’s mouth. Only about 1/3 of it fit and the cub was gagging on it. Kurt made eye contact with me again and held it as he grabbed the boy’s head and fucked his mouth. I smirked because I could tell that was doing this for me. He *knew* I would like seeing the cub struggle with his meat. He spoke to the cub next, in a deep voice that seemed to cut through the noise in the room. “Beg for his load, slut. I wanna hear you beg for his cum like the filthy cunt you are.” The cub stopped sucking long enough to start up a litany of entreaties for my seed. “Please breed me! Please cum in me! I wanna feel you load me! I need it! Please! No loads refused! I’m a fucking cum whore and I live to be filled! I want your DNA to be part of me! Knock me up, man!” Hearing the hot stud begging for me to cum was the final push to get the load to boil out of my balls. I buried myself in him and let go. Volley after volley of my pent up seed and frustration throbbed into his guts. “Oh fuck! I feel him cumming! I actually FEEL it!! Fuck that’s a lot! Oh FUUUUUCK!” the cub whimpered. And through all of this, my eyes never left Kurt’s. Even though I had just cum so much that it felt like my balls turned inside out, I was still in a sex trance. I was empty, but now I needed to get filled. I pulled out of the cub and made my way over to Kurt. I figured it was going to be now. This was going to happen. Kurt was still rock hard from our scene and I aimed to be on the recipient end of it. As I approached there was a brief look of confusion which flickered across his face. When I was in front of him, I reached out and grabbed his massive tool. He flinched at the contact, and pushed my hand away. Not to be deterred, I dropped to my knees in front of him and moved to take him in my mouth. He instantly jumped back away from me and barked out, “No.” It was like a hypnotist snapped his fingers and I suddenly found myself naked on a stage in front of strangers. One of the party rules was “consent”. If someone said No or wanted to stop- you stopped. That was the rule. And if you didn’t stop, you were asked to leave or escorted out. So there I was, as it were. Just a boy. Kneeling in front of a boy. Asking him to fuck me. And being patently rejected. It was so “mixed message” after everything that had just transpired that I actually started to laugh. I had so many emotions roiling about that I didn’t know what to do or how to react. Seeing how Kurt looked at me, I was instantly filled with hot shame. Which was then rapidly replaced by seething anger. I stood up slowly and gave Kurt my best “what the everloving fuck” look. He just looked back at me with pinched brows and shook his head. So I walked over to the nearest fuck bench, bent over with dramatic flair, and proceeded to make a show of lubing up my ass. And I aimed to get filled one way or another. And if Kurt wouldn’t do it, anyone else would do. Any and all of them. And that fucker was going to watch them do it. One guy immediately walked up and stuffed his dick in my mouth. I asked for some poppers, took a hit, and went to town servicing him. I was on a mission. During this, I felt a couple different guys walk by and caress my ass. One even fingered my hole a little… but then they would walk away. Nobody seemed to want to fuck me. I kept wriggling my ass and trying to tempt guys, all to no avail. Why was nobody fucking me? Even the guy feeding me his cock didn’t cum and he wandered off. I was prepped. I was ready. I had a muscular, round ass from hours of squats and miles of biking. And I was a pretty darn good bottom from what I’d been told. But tonight I was on a fuck bench island—alone. I was starting to feel pretty despondent, when suddenly I feel a guy’s cock start to nudge around my ass. Finally! I hear the lube bottle open and feel him slick up his dick behind me. A lubed digit briefly slipped in my ass to open me up. And just as the head starts to slip inside me, it stops and pulls out. “What’s your deal, man? I was gonna breed that fine little ass!” “It’s off limits for you. Go fuck the cumdump in the sling.” It was Kurt’s voice. Why the fuck was Kurt was cock blocking? This made absolutely no sense. “Fuck you, man. You don’t own this hole. And this little fucker is begging for a load!” said my would be fucker. “Seriously man, just walk away. He doesn’t want your toxic seed.” Toxic seed? Was the guy poz and was he going to fuck me without a condom? I stood up from the bench. “Dude, are you poz and were you going to fuck me without a condom?” I asked the guy. He looked at me with disdain. “Whatever, dude. It’s a bareback sex party.” And he stalked off. Kurt was standing there with his arms folded over his chest. “Are YOU the reason nobody’s been wanting to fuck me? Have you been cock blocking me this entire time??” I asked him incredulously. “I just saved your ass. Literally and figuratively. You’re in a sex haze and not thinking clearly. Did you really want his dirty dick to load you up with poz cum?” Kurt asked flatly. “Well… maybe I DID!” I retorted like a child. Kurt stared me down until I looked away. “I didn’t think so,” he answered smugly. And this pissed me off. “You know what? I’m out. Thanks for ruining what was turning into a good night. Let’s not keep meeting like this, shall we?” I spat as I walked away from him. I stormed upstairs, got dressed, and left the party. I drove home angry. Hurt. Sad. And … relieved? Relieved that I’d dodged a poz load in my ass all because of Kurt and his apparent conscience. I was more confused than ever about who the fuck this man was. * * I didn’t see Kurt again until the end of summer. And other than occasional angry thoughts about him, I didn’t much think of him during the time after the sex party. The only time he seriously entered my thoughts was during the one hookup I had in the month of August. Looking back, it was painfully obvious I was trying to find a clone of Kurt. The guy was big and dark and muscular—but the connection just wasn’t there. The sex was perfunctory and unfulfilling and left me fantasizing about Kurt while I jacked myself off on the guy. I ate my weight in ice cream afterwards, because feelings. Anyway, I really felt I had turned a corner when Labor Day rolled around. It was time for Tom and Hal’s end of summer pool party. I was in a mood and pretty down on myself, so I almost didn’t go. If Tom wasn’t such a good friend, I’d probably have begged off, coming up with some lame excuse. As it was, I sucked it up, put on the pink speedo that showed off my assets, and headed over. When I arrived, Tom met me at the door- a big shit eating grin on his face. “About time! And man have I got a surprise for you!” and he started singing “Matchmaker” from Fiddler on the Roof. “Oh no. Don’t you remember the last time you tried to set me up? I thought we’d learned our lesson, because *that* went so fucking well,” I admonished. “Look honey. How was I supposed to know he was still married?” he shrugged. “And a sub bottom with a diaper fetish,” I reminded him. “Everyone has little kinks, darling,” he laughed. “Exactly what part of ‘change me! Baby make boom-boom’ did you think I would find endearing?” I asked with a raised eyebrow. Tom waved me off. “This one is different. You are 100% his type, and he is SO yours. I mean, this guy is so EVERYONE’S type. Trust me. This time, this yenta is onto something big. And from what I hear, I do mean BIG!” I sighed and resigned myself to the fact that I had to just go with it. It was just who Tom was. I’d humor him, meet the guy, it wouldn’t work (like all the others because it was seriously like Tom didn’t know me at all or what I liked), and I’d go on my merry way until next time. Tom left me in the kitchen and scurried off to go find Mr. Match, so I made myself a drink. I heard him coming back with someone in tow (Tom was loud) just as I was completing my margarita. I turned around and… yeah. Him. Tom smiles huge and says, “I’d like to introduce you to…” “Kurt,” I finished, my disdain apparent. Tom’s smile falters. “Oh, have you two met?” he enquires. “Oh yeah. On a few separate occasions, isn’t that right Kurt?” Kurt just stood there, looking like he wanted to be anywhere else at the moment. For once he wouldn’t meet my eyes. I took the opportunity to add an extra shot of patron to my marg. “By the way, Tom? You’re wrong about me being his type,” I said in the shittiest voice I could muster. “He actually finds me quite repulsive—that is when he can even be bothered to remember who the fuck I am. So if you’ll excuse me, imma go find your husband and drink. Heavily.” And with that I left them standing in the kitchen. Several drinks and an hour of avoidance later, I was on an air mattress in the pool, trying to relax and soak up the last of the summer sun. I felt the waves gently rock me as someone slid into the pool. A few moments later, a shadow covered me as someone stood next to my float. “Hey,” he said. Because of course it was Kurt. I tilted my head over and opened my eyes. God he was even more beautiful wet. And today he was sporting hair that was a bit longer and just starting to wave a bit, and a full mustache with heavy beard stubble. He was a wet, sexier Tom Selleck. Or Pete Kuzak. It was his best look and it physically hurt me to look at him, so I closed my eyes. “What is it, Kurt?” I sighed. “You’ve successfully managed to suck almost all the joy in my life for the past few months. What are you going to do for an encore? Anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?” He chuckled. “That line is from the movie Clerks. And No. No encore. More like a truce.” I looked at him again. “I was a jerk and I’m sorry,” he said with a shrug. “And I think that for today, on this last day of summer, we should just hang out and… be. Maybe get to know each other in a different space. What do you say?” I thought about it for a good minute. I mean, really thought about it. Do I continue to be butthurt? Or do I just say fuck it and let him off the hook? Even though his eyes held mine again, there wasn’t the heat. Instead they were saying “please”. Which broke me. I relented. “Fetch me another drink, Farm Boy, and we’ll see,” I said. “Fetch it yourself,” he says and then proceeded to dump me off my air mattress into the pool. I sputtered as I came up and he was laughing like a kid and smiling. Smiling AT me. I’d never seen him smile before, not like this. Not directed at me. Being on the receiving end of it was absolutely blinding. Like a million photographer flash bulbs going off. And he had dimples, because of course he did. Fuck me sideways. The next couple of hours in the pool drifted by lazily. We talked about everything and nothing. The Clerks quote had opened things up and we chatted about favorite movies and art and just hung out. Other guys at the party desperately wanted Kurt’s attention, but whenever they would swim up to chat, he would shift over to me. Feeling his bulk casually brush up against my side, or his furry leg touch mine set flame to my skin. One time he even draped his arm across my shoulders possessively and my insides melted. Seriously turned to goo. I slowly reciprocated and put my arm around his expansive back to his waist. This time he didn’t smack it away. It was the first time I was actually touching him after all these months—the heat of his tan flesh under my hand made my heart stutter. I’d had more than a few cocktails at this point, so I was feeling giddy and buzzy, but in a really warm and delightful way. I was also punch drunk from the attention Kurt was paying me. Feeling cocky, I popped back onto a pool float and lay back with my hands beneath my head. “Push me around the pool,” I jokingly command him. “As you wish,” he replied. Fuck me. He did know the Princess Bride after all. I felt his hand move from the float to my side and I felt sure that I was in for another dunking. If that happened, I’d make him pay. But no. We were in the shallows of the pool and he was gently pushing me around- his large hand on my upper rib cage. Then his hand shifted a bit, and I felt his finger on my nipple. At first it just rested there, but instantly the entire focus of my being was concentrated on that little nub of flesh. Then his finger lightly circled it and brushed it. I shivered, and my cock sprang to life in my speedo. “Looks like someone is having a good time,” said Tom cheekily, and I quickly dumped myself off the mattress and into the cool water. I was immediately self-conscious again of being sexual in public and separated myself to the far side of the pool to get my drink. I hear Kurt haul himself out of the water and excuse himself to the restroom. Meanwhile my mind is racing with a million thoughts. What was happening? Was Kurt flirting? Did he actually want me? Did I WANT him to want me? What would we do? Would we finally have sex? My boner would NOT go down as my mind raced down alley after alley of all the things I wanted to do to Kurt’s body. Eventually I was able to quell my visible desire and decided that I too could use a bathroom break. I figured it was also a good time for a drink refresher too. When I looked for Kurt to see if he wanted something from the bar, he wasn’t around. Meh, I figured I’d just surprise him with something and I headed up to the house. When I opened the bathroom door, I’m the one who got the surprise. Kurt was there, leaning against the sink with his dick halfway down Tom’s throat. I think I said something like, “Oops! Sorry” before stumbling blindly away, tears burning my eyes. It was like my heart had been ripped from my chest and crumpled like a ball of foil. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t form coherent thoughts. I had to get out of there and away. Just… away. The next thing I remember was sitting in my car and bawling my eyes out. I’d been duped again and let my guard down. I was smarter than this. And How DARE he have this much power over me! But the truth was he did have that power and it sucked. He’d hurt me again. And the really fucked up thing was, I would probably continue to let him because I was just that pathetic. I felt the passenger side open up and someone crawl in. I figured it was Tom, come to apologize. “You know, Tom? Bathroom doors come with locks for a reason. Mainly so your EX-best friend doesn’t stumble in on you sucking off the love of his life,” I said with as much venom as I could muster. “It’s not Tom… it’s me.” Because of course it was him. And suddenly a switch flipped and I was furious. “Get. The fuck. Out of my car,” I said dangerously. “Seriously. Get out. Get OUT! Fuck you, fucking dick! Did you come to gloat? To Rub it in? Fuck you and your mixed messages. Fuck you for messing with me. Is this a fucking game to you? Is this FUN? Tormenting me? Teasing me and then gutting me to the core? Is THAT what gets you off you sadistic FUCK!” “No, this isn’t a game. And this isn’t what gets me off,” he said quietly. “Then what is it? What the FUCK is going on between us? Why would you come at me with your ‘lets just be’ B.S.? Then proceed to tease me all day? You aren’t blind or stupid—you KNOW what you do to me! You KNOW how I feel about you. You toyed with me deliberately only to go off and fuck Tom’s mouth!” “I didn’t do it deliberately, I honestly just wanted to try to befriend you today,” he mumbled. “And I didn’t go off to fuck Tom’s mouth. He busted in on me jacking off in the bathroom and he just dropped and started sucking. I… I wasn’t thinking clearly at that point…I should’ve stopped him, but….” “But?? BUT WHAT?? Any hole will do, is that it? Anyone’s but MINE?” I shot back. “I… I just really needed… I needed to get off, ok?” “You needed to get off. AT the pool party. Because it couldn’t wait until you got home?” I said incredulously. “Seriously. It couldn’t wait?” “No, it couldn’t wait!” Kurt was becoming visibly agitated and upset now. “Why the fuck not? Seriously, who just jacks off randomly at a party?” “I was doing it to protect you!” he said, his voice escalating in volume. “Protecting me? From whom? Tom?? You thought you’d protect me from Tom’s mouth by FUCKING IT?!?” I shouted back. “I WAS PROTECTING YOU FROM ME, GODDAMNIT!” All the air seemed to go out of the car, and Kurt was shaking. My anger dissipated quickly and my intuition was telling me something important was happening. I turned to Kurt and just looked at him— patiently waiting for some sort of explanation. Kurt wouldn’t look back. He just looked at his hands as he gripped the dashboard. He took a deep, shuddering breath and began. “I was protecting you from me. Being near you today? I thought I could handle it. I saw the way you looked at me at the sex party. How hurt you were and it gutted me. I told myself never again. So when you showed up today, I thought to myself, Kurt? Here’s your opportunity. Here’s your chance to make amends and maybe not be such an asshole. I really thought the best protection for you might be if I were a buddy, you know? Just a buddy who could look out for you and protect you. I thought I could handle it. But christ. Being near you today? Seeing your body? Joking around and hearing you laugh? Touching you? It made me fucking crazy- like I wanted to jump right out of my skin. I tried to tamp it down, God I tried. To just be a normal guy and not… not think with my prick. But you look so goddamn much like him and I couldn’t control myself and my dark thoughts started spinning out of control and I had to stop them. Stop myself. So I went to the bathroom to jack off. To relieve the sexual pressure so that I could maybe go back to just being a nice guy and maybe a friend. If I could just cum it might be enough to get through being near you the rest of the afternoon. But I didn’t lock the fucking door and Tom came in and he just… started sucking… and I just really needed the release or else I was going to do something I would regret so I just let him keep sucking even though I should have stopped him. I know I should have stopped him! It wasn’t his mouth I wanted. But when my demons are released it’s like trying to stop a freight train and then you walked in and everything went to fucking hell ….” Kurt still hadn’t looked at me. And he still hadn’t answered the big question. “Kurt,” I said gently. “Why do you feel you need to protect me from yourself? I’m a big boy- maybe not in stature- but I can make my own decisions. I’ve wanted you to fuck me for a long time.” “Oh you can’t say that! PLEASE don’t say that!” he cried. And tears started to flow from his eyes. “Why not? It’s the truth. I want you like I’ve never wanted any other man before. You electrify me in a way that nobody ever has,” I said as I reached out to touch his leg. He flinched and looked up at me, stricken. “Electrify? As in Charge?? HA!” He laughed mirthlessly as his body was wracked with sobs. “I’m HIV positive,” he finally whispered. “But it’s more than that. Much more. I’m sick. Not HIV sick, but sick in my very soul. I have a darkness in me. A twisted desire to infect other guys with HIV. You asked what gets me off? THAT gets me off. The thought of infecting guys makes my dick hard! Christ! I’m getting hard right now just talking about it and I’m fucking bawling while I bare by soul to you! How fucked up is that?” There was a pregnant pause as he took a deep breath. “And how sick is it that I want to infect you so you’ll be mine forever?” It was barely audible, but I heard it. “Kurt…” I started. “His name was Bo. Love of my life. I was fairly newly poz when we met, and he wasn’t. But we were determined to make it work. I loved him and He knew me, REALLY knew me. Knew my darkness. Knew my fetishes and kinks. My demons. And he loved me anyway. He loved me so much that he begged for me to knock him up. To infect him so we would always be together. I railed against the idea for a long time, and we were always so careful. SO careful! I needed him healthy and whole. But he wore me down. He said he was ready. He PROMISED me he was. That he could handle it and he wanted it and he wanted it from ME. He even told me that he would go get pozzed up from someone else, just to be done with it all. So finally I relented. I let the demons out and I did it. I fucking did it. It took on the first try too, because I’m fertile. And I gotta tell you, man was it hot. It was so goddamn hot doing it. I loved every fucking second and being the one to make him poz. Fuck, it blew my mind. When I bred him that night it was like all my love emptied into him too. Only he lied to me. He wasn’t ready for it. His family found out and they disowned him. Some of his friends turned on him and called him a fool for not being safe and stupid for being with me. They abandoned him. His conservative job found out and canned him. He lost health insurance. It was all so messed up. But I thought we were working through it all ok. We had each other and I loved him and that was enough right? But he got depressed. Really depressed. I came home one day… I came home…and… I’m the one who found him.” Kurt had tears just streaming down his face now- cathartically releasing all the pent up emotions that must have been eating away at him. “Bo is dead because of me. The love of my life died because I can’t control my sick desires. I was weak and he is dead. And I vowed never again. Not with someone that I care about. And then you walk into a bar bathroom, the spitting image…” “But Kurt, we can still do stuff. Be intimate. All this doesn’t make me want you less, if anything I want you more now. We can be safe….” I offered. “Safe? With me there IS no ‘safe’. You’ve seen me in action, when I’m amped up. I’m a fucking pig with a big cock and a bigger sex drive. Once the demons are loose, there’s no stopping them. You say “safe” but you don’t understand. You don’t KNOW. I’m telling you even now sitting here, after all this, I still want to infect you. I see you and I am overcome with desire. I want you so badly that I can’t focus. You are so beautiful and sexy and I want nothing more than to tear up that meaty little ass of yours. I want to fuck you so hard you bleed. I want to fuck you until your spine cracks and your spleen is bruised. I want you whimpering as I cum so deep inside that it will never come out. And then I want to do it again and again and again until you convert. Then we’ll be a matched pair and I’ll own you for life. You say ‘safe’. How do you think you’ll be safe with me? I’m way bigger than you. You don’t stand a chance. Don’t ask me to pull out, because I won’t. You think you’ll be safe if I use a condom? Don’t you think that at some point my dark side will win and I’ll sabotage the rubber so my seed leaks into you? Or I sneak it off and stealth you? Or drug you and then rape my poz load into your ass? God, my cock is hard right now just talking about it! With me there IS no such thing as safe, don’t you see? That’s why I’m telling you all this. That’s why I let Tom suck me. That’s why I pushed you away at the sex party. That’s why I pretended not to know you at the bar even though I wanted nothing more than to ditch that other guy and take you back to my place to destroy you. That’s why I sprinted home that first time at the bar. It’s me… protecting you… from me. Before I can’t control myself and it’s too late.” We sat quietly in my car, the only sound an occasional sniffle from him as we sat amid the enormity of everything he just unloaded. My mind was reeling from his revelations and his stark honesty. There was so much conflict going on inside me. My feelings for him. My attraction. His status. His dark fetish. His struggle. But above it all, just being in the car with him had me vibrating. My guts were a knot and… And suddenly, I was calm. In a moment of clarity, I knew what I was going to do. Kurt spoke again, dejectedly. “I know this was… a lot. And I’m sorry. I truly am sorry. Please understand that I think you are so… so beautiful. But you deserved to know. And now maybe you’ll understand I can’t see you again.” His hand moved to the door handle. Before he could make another move, I launched myself at him, grabbed his face, and kissed him. I wish I could say it was one of those beautiful, perfect moviestar kisses—it wasn’t. He’d been crying. I’d been crying. There were residual tears and snot. I came in too hot and our teeth sort of clacked together. It wasn’t pretty. But it was also fucking hot as hell. It started off with me ramming against him and him sort of yelping as I startled him. His body was tensed like a clock spring. I kept our lips pressed together unmoving- waiting to see what he was going to do. Suddenly the fight seemed to go out of him and he relaxed. Then our kiss morphed into a gentle “I see you, Jake Sully” kiss. And then it deepened, and turned more urgent until we were two horny teenagers making out in a car. And I gotta say—the stache and stubble combo? Holy fuck. Feeling his stubble rake across my jaw lit me on fire. Kissing Kurt in this moment was the most intimate, most sexual thing I think I’d ever done with another man in my life. It also felt I was kissing a brewing storm… and I never wanted to stop. As my hands wandered down to his straining groin, he suddenly stopped and pushed me away. “Fuck, this is what I was afraid of! I am barely hanging on, here. We have to stop.” “Have you heard of PReP,” I asked him breathlessly. “Sure,” he nods. “Well, I’m on it. And I triple dog dare you to try to get me pregnant, Kurt.” He closed his eyes then. “Drive,” he commanded as he fastened his seat belt. * * We drove to his condo in a blur. I drove fast, but not so fast as to get a speeding ticket (or DUI). He wanted to fuck me at his place because it was set up with everything that we would need. I honestly don’t remember getting from the parking garage to his unit. Once parked we were on each other again with reckless abandon. We managed to get out of the car, but he pushed me up against it- his hands all over my body. He ended up going down on me as I leaned against the car- my synapses shorting out as I felt his mouth take me inside. Then I tried to return the favor, but the 0 gauge PA kept clattering against my teeth which really bothered me. We stopped so he could unscrew a ball and take it out for me. I sucked his dick briefly in the elevator- I didn’t care if there were security cameras. Let them fucking watch me service this god’s dick! I just needed to feel him in my mouth. His dick is fucking enormous. Two and a half hands worth and my fingers didn’t touch around it. Big fucking head like a pit viper. He probably was going to fuck me in half with it, and I was beyond ready to surrender to it. Eventually we got to his condo and he had me go prep using his shower shot while he got the place ready for me. I did as I was told and made sure to spend a little extra time, as I knew he would be going extra deep. I stepped out of the bathroom into a dimly lit scene. “Come here,” I heard him say in his deep, sex voice. My feet were instantly compelled forward to the bedroom. He had a blood red light bulb in the bedside lamp, to set the mood. He had a sling set up, suspended in one corner from eye bolts in the ceiling. One of the walls had a large mirror there so you would be able to watch yourself during, were you so inclined. And the wall opposite the foot of the king sized bed had a 60” TV mounted on an articulating arm, so porn could be watched at any time. And he had filthy porn playing—lots of biohazard symbols everywhere. As I stepped into his den of iniquity, our eyes met and he said, “Last chance, bud. Or abandon all hope.” I walked up to him, staring deeply into his eyes. I feel that familiar sex trance coming on and this time I welcomed it fully. With that all my inhibitions fell away and I felt free. I knew Kurt wouldn’t judge me and anything was on the table. I chose my next words deliberately. “So, that guy that you were talking with that night at the bar when you pretended not to know me? Did you poz him?” I saw Kurt’s nostrils flare as his eyes glittered in the red light. “Yes. Yes I did.” “Tell me,” I say. “What’s to tell? He was a dumb fucking bug chaser. I found him on BBRT and told him I could help him out. He met me at the bar after work. I brought him here and gave him what he wanted.” “And what he wanted was your toxic seed. Did it take?” I asked. I knew my questions were goading Kurt on and getting his demons going. “Oh yeah. I told you—I’m fertile. He called me two weeks later to tell me he got the fuck flu. He was so happy.” “And was it a good fuck? Did you enjoy breeding him? Did it satisfy you?” I asked. “It was ok. He’d been chasing for awhile but everyone’s pretty well controlled these days so infections are rare. And he really wanted it so it didn’t feel like much of a challenge. It’s sort of hotter when the guy doesn’t want it, or doesn’t know he wants it.” Kurt’s cock was so hard at this. That’s when I noticed he’d changed his PA. The one in now was a curved barbell of sorts, but there were conical spikes screwed onto the ends. Kind of like what you’d see on a dog’s collar. I reached down and fingered it lightly. His cock jumped at my touch. “Is this your weapon of choice for my guts tonight?” I asked. “You triple dog dared me to get you pregnant. I aim to keep my record intact,” he growled. “So, about a month before I ran into you at the bar, Charlie told me he’d seen you with some random guy from out of town and that you’d left with him. You get him pregnant, too?” Kurt chuckled. “You keeping tabs on me?” he asked. “Just some light stalking. You know I’m obsessed with you.” Kurt reaches up and starts lightly stroking my nipples. My nipples are hard wired and with his touch, bolts of electricity coursed through me and made my dick jump. “I honestly don’t know if I got him pregnant or not- it’s definitely possible since I gave him a double dose. I may get a two-fer if his wife pops poz too.” “Fuck, really?” I asked. Even though I had started out as just playing a role to turn Kurt on, hearing him talk this way was getting me very turned on. Was I a secret chaser? Or was I just some sex pig that had finally found someone to help me realize my true self?” “Yeah. The guy was in town on a business trip. Married. To a woman. He was at the bar because he was bi-curious, the stupid fucker. Had cheated on his wife a few times with guys but only bottomed twice before. Such an easy pickup! He took me back to his hotel room so I could be his third time. Man, he was definitely not prepared for my cock. He cried while I fucked him.” “And you got him to risk it and go bareback?” I asked, definitely curious at this point. “Not at first. He insisted on a condom because he was ‘married’. But I deliberately didn’t use enough lube. I wanted to rough him up a bit and also possibly have the condom pop. That happens sometimes due to my size and my… vigor. Whoops.” He grinned and I had to laugh at the way he said it. “Unfortunately, the condom held, but he was really crying and it was tearing up his ass something fierce because fuck he was tight, so I told him it would feel better skin to skin. I had him take a hit of poppers, stripped off the condom, lubed up, and slid right back in. “I stealthed him quick before he came to his senses. And then kept going to make sure I massaged that load into him. As I was working up load 2 he did ask me not to cum in him. I said ‘Why change things now?’ and shot a second load deep. That’s when he kind of freaked out a bit and kicked me out of his hotel room.” “Was this a good fuck?” I asked, as I moved behind him and knelt to tongue his butthole. As soon as I made contact in his furry crack, I went into overdrive. He moaned. “Fuck yeah! There’s nothing better than breeding a married “straight” guy. I love it when the guy struggles to take my cock. I like it when they cry too- feels more like rape, even though they never ask me to stop. And I love sending them on their way with my little gift. Their cheating asses are getting what they deserve. Plus it’s hot thinking that they might pass it on to their wives or to some other guys along their path of sexual discovery.” “I have a question for you,” I say, pausing in my rimming. “At the sex party, why didn’t you just let that guy fuck me and breed me? Maybe I would have popped poz and all this conflict would have gone away.” Then I dove back into his perfect ass. “I thought I already answered that. I needed to be the one to do it so that you’re mine forever. I couldn’t let some other guy have that honor. Not with you. Especially when I could stop it. Do you know how many poz guys I chased away from your hole that night? At least 5. The last guy was definitely toxic, although you would have liked his dick.” I stopped rimming him and stood up. I stood on tip toes and whispered into his ear. “I think it’s time for you to impregnate me. Give me my first dirty dick.” Kurt kissed me fiercely then. It wasn’t like the first one in the car, or even the parking garage—this WAS a Hollywood kiss. Longing and long-denied desire pouring out in a flood between us. I’ve never been kissed like that by anyone before—or since. All I knew was that my mind was fried and I was complete his now and forever and all I could think was “dick dick dick… in in in…. now now now… “. He picked me up deftly, and placed me into the sling. My feet were placed in the stirrups and cinched in snugly. He looked down on me with unbridled lust, and I’m sure I looked back with equal amounts. He bared his teeth and chuckled menacingly. “You stupid fucker. Your ass is mine now. I’m gonna give you my AIDS.” “Stop talking and fucking do it already,” I goaded. He let out a fierce growl and lubed up his dick. Then he lubed up my hole, making sure to roughly finger the lube into me. Then I felt his cock head and the sharp PA resting against my pucker. I sucked in a sharp breath in anticipation. He tossed me some spray poppers and a cloth. “Here, you might want to try these. I’ll do you a solid and wait until you’re flying.” “I want you to know something,” I said as I uncapped the spray can. “I’m not going to be like that businessman. I’m not going to cry. I’m not going to beg for you not to cum in me. I’m not as innocent as I seem and I don’t need your mercy. I’m tough. And I’m a greedy fucking bottom who lusts for big cock. I need this. I need YOU. I think I’ve needed you my whole life. And my body is yours to destroy as you see fit.” I hit the spray poppers and soon my head fuzzed and everything got warm and tingly. I felt a sharp pinch as he entered me, and then discomfort as his girth slowly slid inside. I figured Kurt was just going to fucking pound me until I passed out, but no. He slow fucked me. He worked his enormous tool back and forth inside me, stopping when it started nudging my second ring and then sliding languorously back out. A couple times he pulled all the way out with a sharp plop (which I admit stung a bit) before pushing slowly back inside. I’m not gonna lie, what he was doing was feeling fucking incredible. So much cock was in me and I felt so stretched! But there was also the added sensation of the metal dragging in my guts. And then there was his gaze. I could almost taste his lust. “I thought you were going to fuck me,” I growled. “Patience, young padawan,” he said. “I’m just tilling the soil for my seed. There’s a method to my madness, you’ll see. I can’t just ram you with this particular PA in. It’s kind of uncomfortable for me and the cones tend to come loose. One time I lost the whole thing inside a dude’s shitter- now that was interesting breeding session. Also, I’ve been cautioned by the piercer that with my size, this type could get caught deep in your colon and hook us together in a rather compromising position. And that wouldn’t be very much fun now, would it?” I shook my head. “Plus we can’t risk damaging that beautiful baby-maker you got,” I agreed. “You like it?” he says cockily as he flexed it inside me causing me to gasp. “It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever taken and its going to ruin me forever for all other cock,” I told him quite sincerely. “Oh, its’ going to ruin you all right.” He grinned wickedly. He popped out again, and started removing the PA. “You should be good and scraped up now. Plenty of places for my seed to latch,” he said matter of factly. “And now the real fucking begins.” He relubed and I hit the spray poppers again, just in time to get fuzzy before his onslaught. I know everyone is now expecting a merciless rape of the sabine women scene, but it wasn’t like that. He was definitely all about taking his pleasure, but not at the expense of mine. He re-entered me fairly slowly and when his dick came to my second ring, he patiently worked me open until he could get all the way inside. Then he short stroked himself deep in there in order to make sure I was good and open for his dick before he started giving it all to me with force. And for me? Nobody had ever fucked me this deep before. And definitely nobody that I was so in tune with. I literally don’t remember some of the fuck once he got going, because I was riding wave after blissful wave. I was having anal/full body orgasms left and right from the way his cock was hitting inside me. I’m pretty sure I was making loud, guttural noises and probably scaring his neighbors. I honestly don’t know how long he had been fucking me before I regained my voice. 20 minutes? 2 hours? It was all a blur. But he was buried in me and grinding when I decided to ask for more. “Kurt? Will you put in the big PA for me? The 0 gauge that you had in the night we met? I’ve never been fucked by one and I need to feel it.” “You sure? Because it will probably bruise your sigmoid colon a bit,” he said with a touch of concern. “Yeah, I’m sure. I wanna be able to feel you inside me for days after this fuck.” He pulled out slowly and went to his dresser. This was a captive bead PA and he had bought the special tool for popping the ball in and out. With an audible snap, I knew it was in and that I’d soon be feeling it. “This is more than I could have hoped for,” he said during the lull in our fucking. “You’re taking me like a champ, and I’ve already been leaking tons of precum into your cunt. This is the hottest sex I’ve ever had and you’re helping me edge up one massive load. You’re so getting infected. I don’t care if you are on Prep—it’s not going to be able to save you after this.” “Promises, Promises,” I joked. “Now, play with my nipples as you enter me and get ready to see stars.” It took a bit to get the 0 gauge in me, but in me it went. All the way in me. And yeah, I felt it. The heavy weight of it moving inside me as he thrust into me. The pleasure pain as he drove that ring and ball repeatedly into my second ring. He did work my nipples as he fucked me now, and my hole went crazy on his dick. This set up a steady litany of accolades from him, where extolling my virtues as a professional bottom cock pig. I could tell we were nearing the finale at this point, and truthfully I wasn’t exactly sure how much more my guts could take. Poppers were failing to dull the pain he was punching into me now. “Look at me Kurt,” I commanded. And our eyes locked one last time. “I… I’m pretty sure I love you,” I stammered while staring intently at him. “It was love at first sight. From that first moment our eyes met in the bathroom, I knew. I just… knew.” Kurt was fucking me hard now. “It was inevitable. We were always going to end up here, right here. With you trying to knock me up. Because this connection of ours would not be denied.” His hands were fiercely gripping my hips and he was literally throwing my ass onto his dick. His groin slamming into me with abandon with smacks echoing off the concrete walls in his condo. “You know how much I love you, Kurt?” I grunted out between thrusts. “No. Tell me,” he ground out. “You know how I told you I was on PrEP?” I said, through gritted teeth. “I lied.” He came in me then. With a guttural moan that was somewhere between triumph and anguish, he came. Deeply. And hard. He was planted all the way up inside me when he launched volley after volley after volley of his charged semen into me. And I felt it. Not just the throbbing of his cock up inside me where no man had ever been, but I felt his cum. I felt the shots hit inside. The wet heat. All of it. And somewhere during his orgasm I had my own. My own prodigious load shot everywhere. I felt it hit my face, but it painted me from chin to navel. When he finally stopped cumming (like 2 minutes later, his cock still up in my second ring), he looked down at me with something that looked like sadness in his face. “Is it true?” He asked. “Is it true that I love you?” I said, playing dumb. “Absolutely. I’ve been head over heels for you for months. Since I first saw you.” “No, I mean… the PrEP thing. Is it… true?” I looked at him and shrugged. “Yeah, it’s true. I’m not on it. Never was.” Kurt started breathing rapidly and he started to shake a bit. “Oh god. You LIED to me! No no no! Fuck! This is going to be Bo all over again! I can’t handle that. Fuck, what have I done? Oh god, I never should have…” “Hey!” I snapped, and Kurt stopped. “You didn’t do this. I did. I chose. I decided that I wanted you to own me forever, so I let this happen. No. I MADE this happen. And if I had changed my mind, I would have stopped it. It *is* possible to stop Mr. Ferris Buehler, you know.” This elicited a small smile from him. “I’m sorry I lied to you. I won’t do it again. Ever. I promise.” I looked deeply at him so he could see my earnestness. “Ever. And although I look like him, I’m not him. You gotta trust me on this.” He nodded. I was still on my back in the sling and he was still in me at this point, and my load was starting to run everywhere. So, I scooped up what I could from by chest and belly and held it out to him. “If your fertileness is to be believed, this is my last neg load. Take it,” I said. “It’s always the Clark Kent types,” he said with a snort. And without breaking eye contact, he lowered his head to my hand and lapped up my cum. Then he held my hand while he slowly sucked each of my fingers clean. “How’s it taste, big guy?” The corners of his mouth twitched a bit before answering. “Positively delicious.” “OH MY GOD YOU DID NOT!” I guffawed. “What?” he shrugged. “If you can quote cheesy movie lines to me, then I’m gonna make puns so bad they’ll give you AIDS.” And then he smiled at me. And it was blinding. * * After our breeding session, he carefully removed my feet from the stirrups and I wrapped my legs around him tightly. Determined to keep him planted inside me forever. He lifted me out of the sling (with my help) and we maneuvered to his bed. With much shuffling and grunting, we managed to scooch all the way up, until I had a pillow under my head, and he was laying with most of his weight on top of me. We kissed slowly and deeply like this for a long time. As we were resting (he was STILL in me, although my hips were starting to cramp at this point), I started thinking about a positional change. “Hey, when do I get to fuck you?” I asked. “I don’t get fucked, I fuck.” He stated. “Although if I were to get fucked, it would be you. You seem to know what you’re doing.” “And you seemed to enjoy watching me fuck those guys,” I said. “I enjoyed MAKING you fuck those guys. There’s a difference. Although I’m sure they liked it. A hot fucker like you dicking them down? Plus you got a pretty good dick on ya for a little guy. Not as good as mine but….” I smacked him and he playfully said “ow”. He chuckled while I made my hole dance on his dick a few times. I grabbed his face and looked at him. “You know, I think I’ve always been a pig. Or more accurately a pig-in-waiting. I was just so focused on being the good boy that everyone wanted me to be. Always so tentative. Afraid to cut loose. I guess I was in some pretty deep denial. Until you. Then it was all ‘Suuuuper Piiiiig’. I guess that makes you my phone booth.” “What’s a ‘phone booth’?” he asked in mock seriousness. It was right after this that I was brought up short by a sudden and paralyzing thought. Once again, my insecurities were rearing their ugly head, and my mind started running unchecked down dark alleys. “Kurt… if you do manage to seroconvert me, is that it then? Party’s over? You move on to another hole and we just become buddies that wave to each other at the clinic or…” my voice trailed off, suddenly fearful. He looked at me like I was an idiot and shook his head. “God I love pozzing up stupid guys! Mwa-ha-ha-ha!” a said with a fakey, evil laugh. Then his face got serious. “Weren’t you listening, silly? I said I wanted to poz you so that I would own you forever. Forever doesn’t mean for the two weeks of daily breeding until you get the fuck flu.” This time it was my turn to nod that I understood. “Daily breeding, you say?” I said, slowly cocking an eyebrow. “With an ass like yours? At least,” he growled as he snuggled into my neck. “Oh! I just had another thought,” I said cheerfully. “Oh god. Is *this* how it’s going to be with you? You ‘thinking’ all the time, asking dumb questions and interrupting snuggies?” he smirked. “Oh, I think you’ll like this one. So, once I pop poz and before I go on meds, how would you like to watch me knock up some guys? I’m thinking maybe like a nice, dumb 18 year old high school jock. Get him good and pregnant before his college career?” “Am I answering your question?” he asked, as his cock rapidly started swelling in my soon to be destroyed (again) ass. And then we kissed. And five very positive years later, we’re still kissing.

PART 1 It was approximately two months before high school graduation that this happened, which is to say it was about two weeks after I turned 18. Not that I looked 18. I was lucky if people thought I was 16. Although I was 5' 10”, I only weighed 155 pounds, and given my baby face and short brown hair, I didn’t look like a man - yet. But it was men I wanted, that’s for sure. I was 18 and I had a car. It was time. Sure there were gay guys at my school, but I wasn’t into guys my age. I liked guys older than me, guys around 40. Men with big man cocks and big manly cum-filled balls. That’s what turned me on. Now I just needed to find such a man who happened to like me. With that in mind, within days of my birthday, I had my first profile up on a gay hook-up site. Initially I received messages from young guys who were quite like me, or at most a few years older. One or two were tempting but I held out. Besides a few blowjobs back and forth ealrier in the year, I had no experience with men. But in my mind, I was always the one sucking cock and always the one offering up his hole. I was a bottom before I even knew what a bottom was. Then one day he messaged me. He was older, 43, and definitely a top. His pictures didn’t have his face but what it showed was amazing to me. He was 6 1” but thin at 165. His graying hair was cut very short. And then I saw his dick. Magnificent isnt even a strong enough word. The pictures showed a solid eight and a half inch cock, with a nice mushroom head and a thick slightly bending upward shaft. His big balls hung down. They looked massive. Now, my balls are a nice size and I cum tons when I shoot, but I figured a guy with giant balls such as this guy sported must cum buckets. I couldn't see his face, but honestly didn't care. This guy's body was my fantasy come to life. I read thru his profile. And then I saw it: HIV status - positive. Still, I wanted to read his message and at least say thanks for messaging me. Just looking at his pictures had me so hard. It was too bad he had hiv. I couldn’t risk that. So I clicked on the message. “I love your pics. You seem like a really hot young guy. That sexy body. And hot little butt! I saw you like older guys. Hot older Top men, guys that can show you things, take you to places you haven’t been yet and that your body doesn’t know it needs yet. I’ve helped young men like you before. I’d love to meet you. And I can tell by your profile you are gonna want to meet me. I have a huge cock that loves attention and I love showing a young guys hole the attention a boy hole needs. I have exactly what you need. Don’t waste time and message me back. I want you in my bedroom.” wow, he had me rock hard. I mean rock hard. And shaking a little. This was real. This hot as hell man wanted me. And badly, it seemed. I was so scared of the hiv thing but I stared at those pics and read his message again and I didn’t know what I would do but I would find a way to keep safe. I had to meet him. With very very nervous hands, i typed back. “You are really really hot. I’m a little scared about what we can do because i am not hiv positive, but I can’t help it, like I just want to meet you and see you face to face. Your cock is so amazing. I have a car, so I can meet almost anywhere but I love with my parents, so can’t have anyone here.” And I hit send. Within minutes, his reply came thru. “Come over now. We are both horny. My address is 710 elm lane, by the new high school. Can you be here soon? So ready to meet you and have uou here.” I replied within seconds. “Be there in 20 minutes.” I tried to make sure I looked ok and ran a brush thru my hair and went out the door before I could change my mind. What was I doing? But I told myself nothing has to happen unless I want it to. And he was so sexy. And that huge cock. I was hard the short drive over there. I parked on the street and made my way towards his house. It was dark, so that made it a little easier. It was my first time just going to a guys house to hook up. I was nervous as hell but my cock was leading me. I was so horny I almost couldn’t take it. I walked up to the porch and knocked softly. The door slowly opened and I was face to face with my internet friend. His body was more amazing in person. Clad in just underwear that bulged like crazy, he was all his profile said and more. Then I looked at his face and he looked at mine and both of us had a shock. It was Mr Johnson, my 11th grade history teacher. I was shocked and embarrassed he would now reject me and still so horny, maybe even more so now. Mr Johnson a gay Top! All of this shock and me standing in the doorway lasted maybe 3 seconds. And then he gestured for me to come in and I did. My cock was like steel and I was determined to go further, though I didn’t know where. I just knew two things: mr Johnson was my perfect gay man standing in front of me and I had to be carful and not forget he had hiv. I felt his hand on my lower back as he guided me inti the house. The sound of the door jarred me from my thoughts. This was happening. This was really happening.

Going Back Home (Part 1) My name is Tyler, I'm 21 (almost 22) and at 5' 10" and about 140 lbs, I have a tight, lean body, hair in all the right places and trimmed where is important. My cock is (probably) of that bottoms dream of at nearly 8". I left this little, one stop light town over 2 years ago with no regrets and never looked back. So why did I return for a long weekend visit, or person I could never forget, my best friend Chase. We were best friends all through high school and discovered a mutual love for gay sex one night when we had been put on a double date. I went out with some nameless skank and Chase took out my sister. Neither of us scored (not that I tried, my eyes were always on chases ass). We dropped the girls at my house and went with chase back to his place. Chase was an only child and his bedroom was very private so as we sat on his queen size bed in only our boxers or conversation turned to sex (as any 18 year old brain was centered). We were both easily turned on and when my had brushed his growing cock chase let a low moan out. I took this as my cue and moved in for more. Before chase knew what was going I had him naked and I was moving in for a kiss. That was the first night (of many) where I fucked him and bred his tight hole. We didn't know anything about safe sex and continued his regular breeding until the day I left. After I headed for the big city he took up with my sister and 'knocked within weeks of my leaving. I hard they had 2 twin boys and saw pics of the family. I had did not go back then to see the new kids, so you may be asking 'Why am I back I town' now? I had a plan and Chase was it! I came in for four days only contacting Chase, asking him to not say a word to anyone. I told him I needed to see him alone and hoped he'd be able to get away for a couple days. Since he and my sister never got married and he still lined at home so that he could give all his extra money to my sister and his kids. I texted Chase the second I got into town, getting a room at a cheap hotel I the edge of town. I asked fire a room I the backside of the property trying to give us some privacy. When I heard a knock on the door I knew it was my conquest. The moment came through the door and I could tell immediately by the bulge in his jeans, the smile on his face and the gleam in his eye he was happy to see me. It didn't take long before I offered him a 'drink', Coke with GHB to heighten his mood & help loosen him up (although I don't think he was going to need to it, the look on his face told me the he missed my cock). What i wanted the G for was to help introduce him to the joys of chem sex and to get him to beg for my poz seed. When I got to the city it didn't take me long to discover Tina and all the ways to enjoy her along with bottoming. I'm not really sure when I got pozzed, but I knew that I was toxic and prime to pass it onto my target. This was part of my plan to get him to come back to the city with me. I don't know if it was the G or his missing me, but we were both naked in minutes. Chase didn't waste much time getting my hard cock down his throat as I rubbed one hand through his brown hair and the other over his lean body. I knew what he wanted, but I had a better place for my saved up cum. I hadn't cum in nearly a month since I discovered my new 'status' (which want easy with the guys I knew in the city). I could tell if I let Chase continue his work he'd have me cumming in seconds before I stopped him and pulled him up for his first man-on-man kiss. He allowed my tongue into his mouth and I knew at that exact moment he would be mine! It was now my turn to orally pleasure my friend. As I kissed and licked my way down my friends skinny, slim body, I could tell how much Chase missed me as his fingers were tangled in my long red hair as I took his hard 7" cock into my mouth as Chase verbally let me know how much he missed me. While I had my friend a 'little' distracted I pulled out my Tina tainted lube (this is my social blend with enough T in it to get his so high that I'll be able to get him not only begging to be pozzed, but to go back to th city with me). I pushed his legs back and turned his ass up so I’d have better access to it. I leaned in to give Chase his first ever rim job. I knew this would (hopefully) break down all resistance in his body and allow me to slip in a shard or two ( or three or four) into his neg hole. As I began to lick, tease and stimulate Chase through his first rim job he couldn’t help control from moaning. I took a couple minutes to ask if he was liking my eating his ass, to which he replied, ‘Fuck yeah, you can do anything you want to me, I missed you.’ That was my cue and I picked up (what was probably) the largest shard of T I had and held it over his quivering hole. Chase looked up as me and asked what it was, I simply told him it was crystal and was about to rock his world allowing him to focus in on his hole and the infinite amount of pleasure he could experience. Without another word I dropped the shard on his slightly open hole before I pushed it inside. I then alternated between licking and fingering as I sunk the T in deeper and deeper while Chase moaned and said that he felt it burning. I kissed his inner thigh as I let him know that that was normal and would soon fade as I took a second shard and slipped in inside with two fingers, followed by a third shard. All the while I continued to lick and shove my tongue into his hole. By the time he was ready for the fourth shard his hole easily stayed open and I simply dropped it in. Looking down at my friend I asked if he was ready for me to own his ass? His reply was simple, Oh god yes! Since I knew he had not been fucked since I left town nearly 3 yrs ago I asked if he was sure he wanted me to fuck him like I used to and breed him. Not like I was going to give him a choice, but I did have some ‘specially prepared’ rubbers just in case. Chase was the typical dumb fuck country bumpkin, as I lubed up my cock with the Tina laced lube he told me that the few times he fucked my sister he never used protection. That’s why she got ‘knocked up’ shortly after I left town. He figured there was no way I could get him pregnant. I was thinking that this was too easy as I slowly sank my lubed up cock inside him, quickly bottoming out on the first stroke. I wanted the first few fucks to be memorable. I could see Chase slipping deeper and deeper into a Tina fuelled haze as I pulled out my pipe and began to get high myself. Chase asked about the pipe. I let him know it was the same stuff I dropped into his ass. He dumbly asked if he could have a toke. But in his position the only thing I could do was shot-gun the smoke to him. After a few hits form myself and a couple more shot-gunned to him, chase was well on his way to knowing the joys of chem sex. I dropped two loads inside Chase before I pulled out. The first time I egged him on to ask for my load, for me to shoot my dirty seed in him. On the second load I got him begging for me to get him pregnant. Each load was delivered with a deep passionate kiss.

There were a number of men's rooms at my university's that were cruisy. One in particular had a large opening in between stalls where the toilet paper dispensers had been removed by someone. It was large enough that it was really easy to suck guys off. I didn't fuck often but at the time the few times I did I only topped and always with a condom. I had tried to take dick but it hurt too much. I wanted desperately to bottom so I bought a dildo from an adult bookstore and began practicing at home learning to relax and stretch my hole. One day I was cruising and a black guy sat in the adjacent stall. I did the toe tap and he responded. Next he stood up and stuck his dick through the opening. It was big a beautiful and I began sucking him. It tasted great and he had the most wonderful scent. He asked me if I wanted to go someplace more quiet and I told him yes. We left and i followed him to a stair hall at the end of the corridor. We climbed the stair and at the top there was an empty landing that led to a mechanical room. No one ever went there. We dropped our pants and began to kiss. He was an awesome kisser. He asked if he could fuck me. I was little scared but wanted him so bad. I sucked his dick getting it wet and bent over holding the railing. He spit on his dick and started to press my hole. It hurt as I was still dry. I pulled forward turned around and wet his dick some more then spit on my fingers to wet my hole. I bent over and as he poked my hole he handed me poppers. That did the trick as soon he was balls deep. I'd turn around and kiss him while he fucked me and his moans were so hot. Soon he was moaning louder and went balls deep and stopped as I felt his dick pulsating. He stayed in me for a minute then pulled out and I could see some of his nut hit the floor. We quickly dressed and left. I went to class with his nut in me. At the end of the day I went back to the mens room forced the cum out and used it to jerk off

For a random hookup? I’d say on average less than three minutes — a lot of guys cum almost immediately, especially the closeted cheaters most random tops are just there to plant seed as quick as possible and split

I go as deep as possible and then thrust harder. My regular bottoms tell me they can feel my cock expand and get even harder when I’m about to shoot. I go deeper than either of us were expecting. Then thrust there.

Hanes boxers from Kohls. My balls are significantly larger than average. And I’m hung. I can’t fit into anything else.

Hi a6u, glad you enjoy the story. Go for it! I’d love to read your new chapters, as well. 🙂

I'm 99% bottom but the top does come out once in a while. The PA will eventually fuck a hole 🐷

what's in it for me is the sleaziness and the danger of it. the risk taking somehow makes the orgasms earth shattering. the heightened sensations that come from a bare cock fucking in and out of my ass are better than anything else in life. the wet, slimy feeling of sperm flooding my ass makes me want to get fucked bareback even more.

My last load was today. Sexy stud, big dick. He wanted to eat my ass before fucking it so of course I oblidged. I sucked his big fat cock while he stuck his tounge up my ass. It was heaven but there was the point where I wanted to feel his hard cock in my ass. I got on my knees and he stood behind me. His cock was big enough that it took a little bit of work to get it all the way in. Once he got it in he was free to fuck however he wanted. It did not take him long before he said he needed to slow down because my ass was so hot that he was going to cum. I encouraged him to keep fucking. He partly lay on my back with his hands grabbing my shoulders so he could pull in deep. My favorite! When he came he pulled out and shot a huge load on my back. I would have loved to have it deep inside but it was his choice. I could feel his hot cum all over my back. Defininately one for the books. On top of everthing else, he was hot and hairy. Just how I like them.

Sebastian and his boyfriend Troy. Were 22 years old. Sebastian with his Latino looks. Medium build dark hair and brown eyes. His 9 inch uncut cock the top in his relationship with Troy. Who was a blonde curly hair. Blue eyes. 8 inch cut dick and a bubble but that Sebastian love to fuck. They had been together for three years. Meeting at college. And started dating almost immediately. They recently moved into together into a home in which the basement was converted into a studio apartment. The owner of the house was a 56 year old stocky gay man named Harold. He lusted after Sebastian. Dreaming about fucking him. Troy had wanted to top Sebastian, who was game. Harold knew this due to the fact he had hidden cameras in the studio. Harold wanted to be the first to fuck Sebastian. Even thou Sebastian was faithful and wouldn’t cheat on Troy. A plan started to form. Harold had restrains and a blindfold. He knew it was risky. But he had to have him. Thinking about fucking Sebastian made him even hornier than ever. Troy had to go away for on a business trip for three days for work. Harold made his move. He would show Sebastian his bondage gear and get him undressed and in the restraints. Not going to be easy. Sebastian and Troy made love the night before Troy left. Harold of course was watching with his friend Jerry, who also lusted after Sebastian. Jerry was a lanky man. Bald who made both Sebastian and Troy uncomfortable. On the second night Harold invited Sebastian to dinner. After dinner and drinks. Sebastian wasn’t feeling well. Harold bought the young man into his bedroom. Putting a sleeping pill into Sebastian’s drink which of course he fell asleep. Harold got the young man undressed. Put the restraints and blindfold on him. Texted Jerry and one more person. Greg. Who had a crush on Sebastian but rejected him. Greg was overweight short brown hair tiny dick that got hard reaching 6 inches. Within an hour all three men were together, naked stroking their dicks getting ready to fuck the young man. Harold went first. Stroking his and Sebastian’s cock. The young man moaned. Being drunk and woozy from the sleeping pills. He thought it was Troy. “Make love to me” Sebastian asked. “Yes” came from Harold. Who lubeed up his dick and Sebastian’s ass. He fingered the young man’s hole. For a little while. Harold put his hard duck into the young man. Harold went 20 minutes till he felt himself cum inside Sebastian. He pulled out. Jerry was next. Forgoing lube. Sebastian thought Troy entered him again. Wanting to see Troy he asked to have the blindfold removed. Jerry removed them. And before Sebastian could react. Greg put his dick into his mouth. Sebastian couldn’t move. Jerry and Greg were fucking both his holes and had no choice but to take it. Greg was the first to cum. Shooting his load down Sebastian’s throat. Jerry came a few minutes later. Keeping his dick inside the young man. Sebastian was angry. But couldn’t do anything about it. “I’ll take the restraints off Sebastian.” “But you try anything, I’ll send this video to Troy.” Harold said coldly. “He’ll think you were cheating on him.” “ and guess what?” “You will continue to let us fuck you, otherwise your boyfriend will found out that you had sex with the three of us.” With that Sebastian was their personal cumdump. And any other guys that they choose to let fuck the hapless young man.

It wasn’t my last time, but it was a notable time. Attended porn star Hans Berlin’s gang bang earlier this week. Breed him good & made out with him too. I think I was load #3? XD

I came out in the early 00's and I was pretty much a condom Nazi. No one would fuck me without one although I'd breed here and there because that was less risk. I got fucked multiple times with rubbers during the decade but never really enjoyed it. Didn't know why. Then one day around 09 in the sauna with this super hot stached daddy, after some rubber fucking, had me on my fours and handed me the poppers. Pulled the condom out and stuck it in ... OMG What a difference. That fat uncut cock going in raw was so much better. Could feel the foreskin docking in my ass, the head expanding... And then he bred me the load and I experienced a rush I had never. That started my decline as I'd be looking for raw cock in every situation even knowing I was at risk. I could not avoid getting raw cock even with the risks... Every HIV test was extremely tense. Luckily for me PrEP came around 2012 and I was the first one to be on it. Fairly sure I'd had been pozzed if it wasn't for PrEP. These days I'm on the camp that bare is the only way. I'm never allowing wrapped cock in my ass.

I love the feeling of raw cock inside my hole making it wetter and wetter. I always want a top to unload in me. It shows I've done my part in the sex act and his seed in my hole is my reward. I almost immediately want more. If I'm in a cruising joint or on Hampstead Heath I hope there are other tops waiting to get inside me and benefit from the cum lube that has been deposited. Best feeling at the end of the night is cum dripping down the inside of my leg.

CHAPTER THREE: After several months of lying, fighting and sex only when we were high, I arrived for a long weekend in Los Angeles with the idea that if our relationship was going to ever work, we ought to try to enjoy at least one weekend without the drugs. In the car ride from the airport to Manny's apartment, I gingerly brought up the subject. "How would you feel about us not doing any partying this weekend? Just for a change." Manny was driving and he had just turned off the freeway so I wondered if the silence meant he hadn't heard me. "Manny? Did you..." "I heard you. Sure. That sounds fine." There was a long silence as we made our way through the residential neighborhood of Long Beach where he lived. "I just.... I'm curious what this is all about?" "I don't know. I mean. We both love to get high. But I hope we can agree... we love each other more." "Sure." And that one syllable could not have possibly been delivered in a less convincing tone of voice. When we got to his apartment, I noticed his roommate wasn't there. When I asked where Natalie was he said she had some family stuff to take care of in the valley. "So we have the place to ourselves," I offered... making my way toward him with my lips and hands. I was horny. And I wanted to fuck. "I haven't worked out yet today. And you know I hate to cum before hitting the gym. Let's wait until after dinner." "Okay. What do you want to do?" "There must be something good on TV. Why don't you pick something. I need to hit the toilet real quick." Manny disappeared down the hall, shutting the door to the bathroom. When the door was shut I know that meant he was taking a dump. So I found the remote and turned on the TV and started channel surfing. In a minute or two, I heard the door to the bathroom open and the sound of the toilet flushing. "Is this okay?" I called to him, having settled on a rerun of Golden Girls. "Sure," he called to me as I heard him slowly walking toward the livingroom. First I smelled it. Then I saw it. He was surrounded by enormous plumes of white Tina smoke. As he continued to light and suck enormous hits off his pipe. I guess he'd stached it in the bathroom. Seeing him smoking got my dick hard immediately. And as he arrived on the sofa next to me he pulled me in for the biggest shotgun of my life. "Oh fuck" we both said as we yielded to what was clearly already taking root as a serious drug addiction. Even though I'd wanted a sober weekend the moment I took that first hit I heard myself thanking him for not letting me push our Tina off for even a day. "I was wanting this all day," he admitted. "How much did you get," I asked. "Just two 8balls, 4 ecstasy, 3 ounces of G and some Viagra." He handed me the pipe and I started smoking hungrily as he released my cock and sucked the pool of precum from my swollen purple cockhead. He yanked down my jeans and started to go for my ass. "I'm not sure if it's so clean. I just got off a 5 hr. flight." He ignored me and moaned as he rubbed the ripe sweaty scent of my hole all over his face and beard. In no time I was returning the favor burying my face in his ass as he draped himself face down over the wooden coffeetable. He grabbed the remote and switched channels to a techno music station. I quickly brought my dripping cock to his hole and he turned around to face me. "I threw away anything that could be used as lube so do it natural. Spit and precum and nothing else." I popped the head in and dripped a river inside him. He pushed back hard against my dry shaft seeming to enjoy the pain of abrasion tearing at his hole. "Did the boy upstairs fuck you?" I asked. Instead of answering he grabbed his cell from his pocket and sent a text. "I got more stuff. Come on down whenever your Mom goes out." I was pumping into his hole faster and harder and talking real dirty, telling him how badly I wished I was poz so I could infect him. He answered with his quasi-serious warnings that he hoped I would never slam again. That smoking was just fine. And there was no reason to risk a more serious unmanageable addiction by shooting up. I looked down at my right arm and hoped the track marks weren't too obvious. I was so lost in our fuck that I didn't hear the front door open. Had he left it unlocked the whole time? I only knew the teenage kid was there the moment I felt his tongue gently lapping at my hole. I then felt Manny slide up, arching his back to almost sit up, keeping my cock lodged deep so that he could pass the pipe and torch back to our guest. I turned to look at him as he smoked. Jesus. How old was this kid? He didn't look much older than 15 or 16. "How old are you?" I blurted out before realizing the question might be a buzz kill. "Oh. I'm... almost 19," he said and I'm pretty sure I spotted a look pass between them as both their cocks bobbed up. I braced myself for a weekend of wild tweker sex with a cast of characters I would likely not be able to keep in my memory. And the higher we got, the more we both accepted that anonymous and high risk were what we both wanted to chase til I got on my plane home Tuesday morning. Manny wanted me dripping cum into my seat on the flight. And I wanted to imagine them fucking passionately for the whole 5 hours of that flight.

I had just slid my cock into the leather daddy's hole when my phone started ringing. It was Manny. It was like 2AM where I was and 11PM in LA. I wasn't going to answer but then the texts started flying in: Please answer. I know you're up. I'm so high I need to hear your voice. So the next time it rang I answered. I slowed down, holding my cock in the dad's hole real still. "What r you up to?" "No good. You?" "I feel so guilty. I just turned on this 19 yr old in my building. I got him high and bred him." "Don't feel bad." "I do." "Are you stroking?" "Can't stop. you?" "I'm pissing." I was filling the Dad with my chempiss. I took a pic of my cock in his hole. A biohazard tatt on his back. I texted it to Manny. "Fuck." "Manny?" "What?" "I tried a slam." He freaked out. He lectured me about how slamming was a line he would never cross. How he didn't want me to let the drug take over. I stroked my meat as he told me how worried he was about my addiction. And I accepted shotguns from both guys while he got all concerned. The Daddy took my phone out of my hands and talked to him. "Hey. Manny. He's gonna have to call you back tomorrow. Sorry sweetheart. " And he turned my phone off as they prepped my second slam.

Andrew struggled against his restraints, he couldn't believe it. He bucked, trying to get off his dad's cock, but to no avail. He didn't want this, his mind was loosing itself with every thrust of his own parents cock. The cock that made him was now raping his hole, charging it up and turning him poz. Another moan escaped his lips, as his fathers Prince Albert ground across his prostate. His father was bigger than any of the guys he messed around with, and more aggressive, Andrew had never felt pleasure like this. His body felt on fire, but his mind struggled with trying to get off his fathers cock before it was too late, he didn't want to be raped poz by his own dad. Especially with all these men watching, everyone would know, Andrew would have to deal with everyone know that his own Father pozzed him. John thrust into his squirming son, watching the conflicted boy reel with the massive cock inside his cunt. He had watched the little fag come out, watched as his son became more of a fag and less of a man. John had to put up with all those lesser men using his son's holes, knowing that he had a right to them that others didn't. He had made Andrew, and that meant his cunt was his to use and share, not theirs. John had put up with blue balls for months, watching his son bring round lesser guys to fuck him, until he had duped him down here. Now the boy was gooning from all the chems and would take his fathers strain, whether he liked it or not. John could feel the toxic load churn in his balls, he was close. He raised his hand and began smacking his son's arse, each strike leaving a big red handprint on the sweat covered cheeks. "Beg for it son, beg for your Daddy's strain!" Andrew winced under his fathers assault, he squirmed whilst impaled on his dads cock. He wouldn't give in, maybe his dad would let him go if he didn't say anything. Another hard slap rained down on Andrews cheeks, and another. The sound of sobbing filled the air, as tears streamed down Andrews face, but John wouldn't let up until he heard Andrew accept his fate. "Beg for your Fathers toxic load in you worthless fag cunt, and I'll stop, I'll let you go" Andrew let out a loud sob, looking around the room at all the men jerking their big cocks. He knew this might be his one chance to get out of here without being raped by all these men, he knew what he had to do. The sound of Johns merciless spanking of his son, only interrupted by the groans of the men around him, and Andrews cries of pain, carried on. "P-p-please Dad" Andrew whimpered between strikes. "Please what faggot?" "Please let me go Dad" Another hard strike rained down on Andrews ass, John watched as his sons cheeks blossomed purple as his pierced cock slick with cum pummeled his cunt. "Beg for it boy, beg for the strain! Beg for your dad's toxic cum!" "Please Dad! Give me your toxic cum, please knock my cunt up Daddy, I need to be a poz boi!" Andrew conceded. John felt his balls tighten with the admission, speeding up and pushing past Andrews neg cunt for the last time. Adam felt the cum spurt in his sensitive cunt, the usual euphoria of having cum in his hole cut short by the realisation that it was his own dads toxic cum. John roared as he felt his cock twitch inside his son, feeling his toxic cock knock his own boy up. He could feel the connection forming between them as his cum coated his son's insides. Pulling out, he watched as a thick dollop of his load dripped out of his now gaping and loose cunt. "Right Lads, your turn" John said stepping back, as multiple hands reached out of the dark grasping onto his son. Andrew's surprised cries were muffled immediately by a cock being forced into his mouth, John didn't feel bad for betraying his son like this. John knew that a fag cunt like Andrew was always hungry for cock, whether he knew it or not.

PART 15 Driving home from Ted’s, i got an extreme case of guilt and shame. As the sex high wore off, the reality set in. I was so acutely aware i had semen inside me, costing my insides, leaking out and coating my rosebud and making my as crack slick. What was i thinking? And with my teacher and with Ted, i knew. It wasn’t like with the others who could be clean. The total complete strangers that i had met fuck me raw without even speaking to me. Who knows if they have it too? But i KNEW with my teacher and Ted. And i had asked for it. I had begged for it. What made me do that? But when i got home, i didn’t wash out. I somehow talked myself into it being safer to just let the cum soak into me. A few hours later, i tried everything to jerk off and not think about taking cum, but i couldn’t and it was touching my still cummy hole that made me shoot all over my stomach and chest. For the next three days, i swore never again. I didn’t log on to the website to check my messages. I tried to keep busy. I told myself over and over, i had played with fire but it was over. From now on, i would use condoms. I was going to be careful. I’m only 18. I’m not even out of high school. What if my parents found out? I can’t get hiv. Still, whenever i jerked off, all i relived was those moments of taking that sperm. By Friday, i was still feeling incredibly guilty but also horny. I was afraid to call Ted and that he would be a bad influence. Same with my teacher. Something about those two, i i just didn’t trust myself to say no if they wanted to fuck me bareback. By dark, i was just obsessing about seeing a hard cock. 30 minutes later i was clean and walking into the bookstore. I was surprised at the amount of cars. It seemed busier than last time. Feeling in my shorts pockets, i realized the condoms i had meant to bring were still sitting on my dresser. I only had a few bucks in my pocket, i thought to myself, just enough for the booths. I should run back but i was already there and the lure and anticipation was already strong. I’ll just suck unless the guy has a condom, i told myself. As soon as i got back to where the booths are, i could tell it was more crowded. I was, by what i could see, the youngest guy there by at least ten years. I made a quick show of looking at the movie choices on the wall before slowly making my way to a back booth. Before i could get in the door, i looked and saw a guy in mid late 30s heading my way. I didn’t even shut the door all the way and he took that as a sign to just come in. I turned to look at him after putting a coin in the machine. In the dim light of the porn on the screen, i could see he had short dark curly hair and a mustache and he was a little shorter than me, but very muscular. His hand immediately started stroking his clock over his jeans, before slowly beginning to open them. I pulled my shorts down. And sat on the very edge of the bench in the booth. I may have reached out to pull him to me or he closed the distance and within a second, i had a hardening cut cock in my mouth. As i sucked, i felt his hand reach down. Instead stroking my cock, he went straight past it and tried to get at my hole. I scooted just a hair farther to give him access. As soon as he made contact with my hole, he knew i was a bottom. I had put just a touch of lube on my hole before leaving my house. I am sure it was more than a few seconds, but it felt like almost immediately i was being pulled up to my feet and gently spun around and having my head pushed down forcing me to bend over. It was all happening really quick me then his cocki was pushing against my asshole. “do you have a condom?” I whispered. ”no”, was all he said as he tried to get his hard cock lined up with my hole. I didn’t even realize i had reached and pulled my cheeks wider for him. He found the sweet spot and my hole began to open to accept his blunt hard Cockhead. The whole time my brain was screaming “what do i do?”. What i did that night was feel guilty as i braved myself and told myself it was too late and to just accept it. This guy was already entering me. He was probably already leaking orecum that Was coating my hole. He saw it. I could tell. He knew he had me as he worked his hard penis into me. I was going to take his raw cock. Soon the burning stabbing pain ended and my hole began to open up. “Fuck your hole is so tight” he muttered. i was trying my best to be quiet as i took it. He didn’t last long and said nothing when he came, he just drove deep and bucked and bucked as his cock pulsed and throbbed and ejaculated his entire load as deep as he could possibly be inside me. He pulled out and ticked his cock in his jeans and zipped up. I clutched at my shorts that were down around my feet. Four or five minutes after first seeing him in the hallway, the stranger was gone and he had left me with shaky legs and a hole with a load of fresh man cum buried deep in it. I was mad at myself for letting it happen so easily but quickly told myself “just tonight”. I will get it out of my system once and for all and start tomorrow off being totally safe from now on. Looking back now, it’s a little more obvious. But at the time, i was able To tell myself i wasn’t just giving in to it. But the reality was, i was an 18 year old bottom that needed cock. I was already getting addicted. I couldn’t stop.

PART 14 Something about what Ted had said and just the room and the whole scene had had an effect on me. I liked that he had all the lights on. I wanted to see him clearly. And I wanted him to see me. As I worked his cock with my mouth, I wasn’t shy in making eye contact and making it clear that I loved sucking him. His cock was so hard and every so often a fresh drop of precum would leak out, and that taste would make me even hornier. I took my time and he let me. I ran my tongue up and down the shaft. I licked his cock head. I sucked and licked his big cum filled balls. And I practiced taking a man’s cock deeper and deeper into your mouth. I wanted to be a good cocksucker for my top. My eyes watered and spit dropped off my chin but i worked more and more down my throat for longer and longer. The next day, my throat would be a little sore from ramming his cock down it, but for now all that mattered was his reaction and feeling his hardness in my mouth. Feeling it flex and throb as I sucked and licked it. “Fuck yeah Chris, work that Dick. I can’t wait to fuck you. I can’t wait much longer. You gonna give me that hole? You gonna let me have that little cunt to fuck?”, He said thru clenched teeth. I enthusiastically nodded and it wasn’t a few more seconds before he was pulling my lips off his cock and I wa hearing him say “Show me that hole. Turn around and show it to me.” I spun around and bent over the bed and spread my legs. “Climb up and get on your knees ass up and head down, with your knees near the edge.”, he commanded. It took me maybe 2 seconds to assume the position and hear him tell me “Yeah that’s it. Nice and spread. Your hole looks so hot Chris. So tight. And you live showing it to me don’t you?” “Yeah please. Please fuck me”, I begged. I felt him smearing lube onto my hole as he slowly teased it open. I gasped and bucked back into his touch. “What’s that sexy boy? What do you need?” He asked me, as his fingers worked me open. “Fuck me. Please fuck me. Fuck me til you cum. I need it.” I practically cried. And then I felt it. The blunt head of a rock hard man cock pressuring my hole, pushing it open. I focused on trying to relax my hole as he slid into me. I am sure I cried out a little as he was not being so gentle. He wasn’t ripping into me, but he was determined. It hurt but I didn’t care. I was so overloaded that I just needed his dick inside me. Even as I cried out in pain I was pushing back trying to impale myself on his cock. “Yeah boy open up. Open up that hole for me,” he grunted out. He never paused and I didn’t want him to, he just kept working my hole and sliding that huge Dick deeper and deeper. Despite the pain I was urging him on and pushing back. I wanted it all the way in. I really wanted it. He wasn’t going slow and easy and it wasn’t long before I hear hi tell me “I’m so close Chris. Your hole... I just can’t last. It’s like it’s pulling the cum up from my balls. I need to shoot in you baby. You want thAt?” Frantically i was begging him “yes! Yes! Yes!” A yes for every thrust into me that was knocking my breath out. And then he stopped. “Flip over on your back. I want to see your face when I give it to you.” He said. As he slid into me again, he pulled down close to me and began whispering to me. “Yeah. So close. So close to cumming in your hole. And you want it. That poz cum. You love this raw cock. I’m Gonna keep fucking you til you read poz just like me. As many loads as it takes.” And maybe that’s when he broke me. Who knows how many times I repeated the following words: “Fucking poz cum” and “as many loads as it takes” he just stArted pounding me then and within maybe a minute he practically shouted as he drove hArd into me “Fucking huge load. Pozzing you now. Fucking take it. Take my fucking cum.” I wrapped my legs around to pull him in, my ass milking his shaft to get every drop. He throbbed and flexed as he tried to push every bit out. Finally, I felt his cock slip out of me and he pulled back to catch his breath. He looked down at me and smiled. “Are you gonna come back later when you need more?” I nodded. “Anytime you need my cum, just call. I want my cum inside you every day sexy boy. Every day.”

PART 9 I don’t think even one minute passed before the door began to open. I barely had my shorts up and started to panic to make sure I was covered at the same time I looked at the door. What i saw a guy maybe 40ish around 6 feet. He was a little bolder and didnt wait for me to nod back. He just slid through the crack and shut the door and locked it. In the glow of the gay porn on the screen, I was able to see him better. Yeah a little taller than me, so at least six feet and thin. He had on sweat pants and sandals and a T-shirt. There was already a sizable bulge in those sweats. He approached me and his hand went into my still unbuttoned shorts, but he bypassed my cock. Instead, his hand dipped down and I felt a finger slide into my ass crack and run across my hole. His hand slid out of my pants just as quickly and he motioned me up. As soon as I stood, he slipped my shorts down and began to turn me around away from him. And I just let it happen, half out of surprise and half because i was still horny and this guy was pretty hot. I slipped a leg out of my shorts and spread wider, as I braved myself with my hands. I could hear him tugging his sweats down and heard him spit, managing to look back in time to see him using it as lube to stroke with. Again he spat into his hand and rubbed it on his cock. And his cock was... it was huge. Like at least 8.5 inches and thick with a nice big cut head. It was magnificent. It was obvious that like the first guy, he wasn’t going to use a condom. His cock slick with spit I felt him use one hand to grab an ass cheek to spread me open a little, as he used his other to guide his cock to my already fucked and cummed in hole. I felt him push against my barely puckered hole and it gave easily. It hadn’t even had time to close up from the last cock and with the cum coating my hole, he was able to work his giant cock into me. I don’t know if it would have worked otherwise. Later as time went on, I would take bigger cocks but this guy was hung and as an 18 year old almost virgin still, this thing was just massive. And I was taking it. I was almost naked bent over in a bookstore booth, gay porn blaring away, while a guy I hadn’t exchanged a single word with was almost 8 inches into me and continuing to fuck deeper and deeper. And with the first guys cum and my hole already relaxed from getting fucked a few minutes before, I was taking it and loving every second. There was no pain or discomfort. He was working my hole harder and harder and we were not being quiet. Besides him basically knocking my breath out every time he rammed home, I couldn’t keep myself balanced and my hands kept knocking against the thin plywood wall I was supporting myself against. And he was grunting and breathing fast. And then finally to make It competely obvious, he was finally balls deep and now every time he drove into me there was that slap as his pelvis met my ass cheeks. And I was so lost in the fuck and his cock sliding into my prostate that I didn’t care. I didn’t care that It was sleazy and dirty. The smell of sex and cum made me feel drunk. And I didn’t need to know who was fucking me. All that mattered was that he was hot and had a fucking amazing cock and he was in me raw. And I had already kind of figured it out, all these guys here are looking for cock. I gave in and enjoyed every second and didn’t care that everyone there would know I was getting fucked right there in the booth. Eyes closed and head down I took it until I felt his hands grip tighter and felt his pounding increase even more til finally he rammed deep and erupted. Spurt after spurt of cum coated my guts as I pushed back to make sure I was getting it all. He grinded into me as he stayed deep while his cock pulsed and throbbed inside me, as he obviously was trying to put every drop into me. Spent and satisfied that he had put all his cum inside me, he slowly pulled out. Without a word he pulled up his sweat pants and straightened his shirt up. Looking down, he adjusted his still softening rod and covered it with his shirt. I meanwhile was wobbly legged and was trying get my one leg through my shorts so I could pull them back up. Mr Sweatpants paused by the door to give me a second to get the shorts up and then just as quietly as he had slid in, he popped back out after cracking open the door and then shut it behind him. I noticed it wAs darker and realized I had let the video machine run out of credits. I don’t think even twenty minutes had elapsed and I had gotten fucked twice. And had no idea who they were or if i could even recognize them if I saw them. And I hadn’t asked either one if they were clean. I mean who knows, Tim looks healthy and he has it. But then the thought that hit almost right away was did it matter? Would I have stopped those guys if they were did have HIV? If I saw Mr Sweatpants giant cock and knew he was HIV positive, could I or would I want to say no to it? I knew why I didn’t ask. It didn’t matter. I was taking them raw no matter what the risk. It just felt too good. As all this wet through my head in about 30 seconds, I stood to walk out, figuring enough was enough for tonight and I had not been very discreet and didn’t want trouble. As my hand touched the doorknob, it twisted in my hand and the door opened up a crack as another stranger met my stare. Maybe I wasn’t leaving quite as soon as I thought as we gave each other a quick look over. A mutual nod and I was backing toward the bench of the booth as a new stranger entered the small cubicle with me and shut and locked the door.

PART 8 There was nothing else open around the bookstore, which was surrounded by a neighborhood of car repAir places, storage places, and industrial type businesses. I pulled into the store’s lot, totally nervous I would be spotted by someone. I had no idea what to expect still, but I wasn’t the only one there. There was at least a dozen cars in the lot besides mine. Before I could chicken out, I got out of my car and tried to discreetly sneak in. That plan was blown when the clerk immediately asked me for my id. I showed it to him and he looked it over and handed it back, telling me to enjoy myself. I took a quick look and saw the layout. Rows of DVD’s and then an aisle of lingerie and an aisle of sex toys. I was beginning to be disappointed when I saw the small lit up sign advertising private video booths. Without hesitation, I made my way into the back of the store. This area was separated and customers in the front wouldn’t even really be able to see back here. It seemed like a few rows of dark corridors that led to small booths, maybe twenty booths total. Along the wall of the main corridor wAs the list of all the pornos that you could watch in the booths. At least half were gay, which was reassuring. I also noticed guys lurking in the shadows, in vacant booths with the doors open. Not a ton, but these were guys obviously not just watching videos. They were hanging around back there. I pretended to look at the video selection wall, but really watched the guys mill around. Two were old, like real old and I had zero interest. Another one was at least 39 but overweight. A Latino guy just looked a little too gang menmbery. Then I saw him, a guy just my type. He was 40ish and taller than me, probably a little over six feet and thin. His hair was cut very short. He had on a T-shirt and shorts and flip flops. I didn’t know what to do, so I just stared at him. After he looked back and met I stare, he gestured with anod toward a booth near the back of the row. Slowly, he walked in and gently shut the door. I keenly didn’t hear a click of a lock. With a shaking hand that took all my courage, I reached and felt the knob, after makin sure no one was watching me. The door opened and he gestured again with a nod to come in. As soon as I did, he reached over and clicked the lock. The inside booth had a machine to take the money and control the screen mounted to the wAll. He loaded a few dollars and the video sprang to life, as he clicked over to a gay sex scene where one guy was worshipping another guys cock with his mouth. We both stared at the screen, our eyes going back and forth from it to each other. He was rubbing his bulge and i was mesmerized. Seeing this, he opened his shorts and dropped them down stepping out of them and setting them on the bench seat. It was a beautiful cut 7 inch cock with nice full balls. I followed suit, assuming this was protocol. As I set my shorts down and turned away, I felt his hand graze my butt. Instinctively, i spread my legs and allowed the touch. His finger slid between my cheeks and I arched my back to meet it. Suddenly, he was down on his knees and he was spreading my legs further and gripping my ass cheeks. Then I felt it, his beard scratching the insides of my ass crack as his tongue darted out and licked my hole. I bucked but he held on and dove in, licking and sucking my asshole. The porno played, along with the sounds of other booths. The smell of sweet smell ofcum and sex permeated the air. I gripped the wall for balance as I stood bent over having a total stranger I hadn’t ever seen until two minutes ago lick my hole. I was gasping and bucking and trying to keep quiet. He was so good at rimming me. I gave in completely, my cock so hard I knew better than to touch it or else I would cum. Then just as suddenly, he stopped and rose up behind me. Almost immediately, I felt it and knew. One hand on my ass cheek, pulling it open and exposing my hole. The other hand guiding his rock hard cock to my eager rosebud. He rubbed his cockhead against my asshole, driving me crazy. “Ready to eat fucked?” He whispered. “Please!” was my only reply. The pressure increased. I tried to relax, a little worried that he was only using spit as lube. It definitely burned when his steel like rod drove into me and my hole surrendered. Hands against the wall i focused just on letting my hole open, feeling the change as the pain and stabbing turned to ecstasy. He was working it in, as both of us tried not to make too much noise. His cock began to pick up speed and I noticed the spit made things a little less slippery in a really good way. My hole has blossomed and was accepting his big man cock hungrily. It felt so good to have a hard dick fucking me again. And he was picking up speed, really fucking me now. “I’m getting close,” he whispered as he hunched over me. I didn’t plan it or anything but I heard myself replying, “Please cum in me.” As soon as those words left mouth, my mystery man’s thrusts grew faster and more erratic. With both hands on my hips he drove deep one final time and collapsed against me, as his cock throbbed inside me and spasmed, as it ejaculated into me. After a few seconds, he slowly backed out and i clamped my hole shut to try to keep the cum in me. He silently dressed and i hurried to get my shorts back on. As soon as his clothes were on, he straightened himself up and opened the door, slid out, and gently shut it, leaving me still dressing in the booth with the gay porn still playing on the screen and a huge load of a strangers sperm soaking into me. Less than ten minutes had elapsed since I had walked into the bookstore.

PART 7 The next day, I relived the experience at Tim’s. I had almost no regrets. The hiv thing scared me, but not enough to keep me from already looking forward to more. I thought about what had happened after we had fucked. Tim really seemed to like fucking me. He asked me again about the hiv thing and reminded me that In the moment, I had not only been ok with it, I had asked him for it. For his poz cum. Those words were going thru my head a lot. I knew I had said it. And the words had a weird effect on me now the next day. They scared me and made me hArd. It was totally messing with me. And I was still totally getting the “stop doing this, this is crazy” messages In my brain, but I had jerked off three times in the last 18 hours since his cock had ejaculated into me. And I was still horny. I wanted him, even still a little sore, I wanted to get fucked. By 8 that night, I was online and messaging Tim, but he wasn’t on. I waited and waited til almost ten. He must have been busy and I couldn’t just show up. I was so horny at this point, so eager to service him, to worship cock. I figured I would give it a few more minutes. My Dick was rock hard and sex was leading all thoughts. I didn’t see any hot guys on the site . I signed off and as I did, a thought occurred to me. I had driven by it many times and it was only twenty minutes Away, in the business district. I wasn’t even sure if the stories were true about the adult book store, that it was mostly a place for gay guys to hook up. Something about a maze of private video booths with 100 different pornos to pick from and that guys would go into the booths and fuck and suck. The owner of the place was gay and actually encouraged it. It sounded like an urban legend that was fake but what if it wasn’t? What if there were some hot guys, older guys like Tim, just there horny and looking to meet someone to fuck right there in the store? At 10:30 that night with a rock hard teenage cock and a hole that had just become addicted to raw man sex, it didn’t even seem like I had a choice. Even though I was literally so nervous I was nauseous, I was on my way. I was barely past my 18th birthday and on my way to my first adult book store, where I hoped that everything I heard was true and that I was on my way to meet a stranger I hoped would want to fuck me. I didn’t pretend or lie to myself. I wanted to get fucked by an older guy, no condom and no pulling out. And I wanted it so bad.

PART 6 I spent the whole drive over shaking I was so nervous. Over and over i told myself to just turn around and what what was I thinking risking so much? The first time I didn’t know til it was too late , but this was different. And I couldn’t pretend to myself it wasn’t. My hard cock and hungry ass were leading me, overpowering every thought I had to just get away! There was no hiding it, Tim had told me flat out. He was hiv positive, poz as he called it. And he didn’t use condoms. And he had no intention of pulling out. And I had seen that huge cock and knew how deep it could be when he came. And I had seen those giant cum producing balls. He had to shoot a massive load. He will fill me up with it, his sperm. His HIV positive sperm. Spurt after spurt, his cock all the way inside me erupting. And fear took more of a backseat. I was a horny as hell 18 year old that had just discovered bottoming and had done it with a hot experienced hung top. And he had fucked me bareback and cum in me my first time. I couldn’t help wanting more. And I knew how amazing Tim was, how he had made it feel so good, had made me so hungry for cock and so wanting to be a proud gay bottom. A bareback bottom now, on my way to see him again. Still shaking, I rang his bell and he answered obviously nude and obviously knowing it would be me knocking. “I’m so glad you are here. I have thought about that hot ass so many time these last few days. And the way that mouth felt on my cock. And the taste of your asshole. Wanna go straight up?” He welcomed me shutting the door. Nodding eagerlly at home he responded by leading me up to the room I had been in before. This time, I was tearing at my clothes, my cock like steel already and eyes focused on Tim’s already hard meat. Naked, I fell to my knees and licked the shaft from the base to the head, before swirling my tongue around the big mushroom head. Tasting precum, I lost my self and opened wide and took as much as I could. Concentrating on relaxing my throat, I tried to take more and more burn woukd gag occasionally and have to back off. I was trying my best to please him, to be a good cocksucker. “Fuck yeah”, he growled, “that’s so good. Suck that fucking dick. Get it ready. I’m gonna fuck you with it in about 30 seconds.” I grew every more eAger in my sucking, wanting to show my enthusiasm for what he said. “Get up, get on the bed on your back and pull your legs up,” he ordered as he reached for his lube and applied some to my hole and to his cock. Standing over me, his cock head an inch from my starving hole, he looked down and asked me, “what’s my boy want? Does my boy want me to put my cock inside him right now?” “Yes! Fuck yes”, I cried out. “There’s no condom on this cock”, he whispered as he began to tease my hole by rubbing the tip against it. “No condom. No condom.”, I repeated in an almost begging tone. He was driving me to the edge, making me want him so badly. “Should I pump all of my cum Into your hole when I shoot? Should I give you my sperm when we both know I am hiv positive? What do you want?”, he whispered as the pressure on my hole gradually increased. “I want you to cum in me, fill me up with it! All of it! PleAse just please fuck me til you cum!” I whimpered. With that, he pushed in and i I felt that piercing pain followed by a dull ache as my almost virgin hole tried to relax. He gently worked his big meat into me, slowly rocking his hips pushing deeper and deeper. Then starting to take longer strokes as my breath became gasps and I started losing myself to the sensations of pleasure in my hole. It wasn’t long til I was lost. The only thing on earth that mattered was Tim and his huge cock and me and my tight little hole. We were connected. Eyes locked, him grunting and huffing as I began to feel my breAth knocked out with every deep stroke. His ball were now slapping against me when he drove home and I reveled in knowing he was in me ball deep. I was taking all of him. Raw. He was pumping hArd and his thrusts began to pick up speed, his ups bucking erratically. I recognized this from last time and concentrated on trying to take every single bit of that cock inside me while squeezing and miliking it. “Fuck yes, squeeze that fucking cock Chris. Earn that load. Tell me you want it. Tell me you want my sperm in you.” He grunted. “Fucking please cum in me. Please cum in me. I want it in me. I want your cum all inside me. I won’t let it leak at all. Please!” I begged him. “Big poz load. Gonna give it to you. Fucking dump that cum deep inside you.!” He muttered between clenched teeth as he was slamming into me. “Yeah. Big load. Big poz load. Inside me. All of it. Poz load inside me. Poz load inside Me.” I just kept saying it. Then I felt it his pace grew ever faster and then he drove deep and collapsed onto me and i felt that huge rod pulse and throb as his sperm entered me and splattered into my guts. I squeezed and milked it and wrapped my arms around him to hold him insode me. The throbs slowly ebbed and he pulled back up and looked down at me. My stomach was covered in my own cum? I had shot without touching myself. He made no move to pull out and I made no attempt to back off it. Instead I looked up with a guilty grin and knew inside there was no way I could stop doing this. Getting fucked without condoms and taking Tim’s cum. It was like a drug. I was already hooked. What was I gonna do now? This is crazy! But fuck his cum is in me and that thought still scared me but it was turning me on more. A lot more.

PART 3 Finally, Tim backed off and that slick wet tongue that had been giving my ass so much pleasure was gone. I arched my back and moaned, I just wanted more so bad. “Don’t worry Chris, I haven’t even started pleasuring your little boyhole. I just wanted you to see what your ass does to me,” Tim said rising up. His cock was rock hard. A bead of precum was dripping off the tip. I practically dove up to get to it, that massive man cock. My teachers man cock. And my mouth opened greedily to savor it. I wanted that big dick in my mouth so badly. But first I had to lap that precum up, as my tongue flicked out and licked and swirled on his big mushroom head. Lips already wet with spit, I slid my mouth down on his shaft. I lost myself in sucking him. I worshiped it with my mouth. I pulled off and licked and sucked on his balls and then returned to sucking the head. I tried my best to please him. I wanted to be a good cocksucker for him. With him standing just next to the edge of the bed, I was on my hands and knees to reach him and so when he leaned over me, it wasn’t hard for his hands to reach my ass. His very wet fingers felt cold for just a moment when they touched my hole, but quickly grew warm. It was my first time having my ass lubed, but I knew it wasn’t spit. His hand pulled away and then returned, and my hole and as crack grew slick, so slick his finger just eased into me. The pressure and fullness felt incredible and i arched my back. I sucked with even more desire, as his finger slowly opened me up. It wasn’t spoken when he pulled away and then guided me around. He spread my legs and pulled me to the edge of the bed. My slick and shiny hole was presented to him, my cheeks spread wide. He slowly stroked his rock hard cock. He knew he was about to fuck me and I knew he was about to fuck me. I was still nervous but I wanted it so bad. He had driven me to the point where I just needed hot gay man sex. Nothing else mattered except this hot older guy and his giant beautiful penis. Finally, I felt it. The head of his cock. Only instead of pushing in, he was slowly rubbing the head against my hole. The slight slight pressure and the gentle tiny circles drove me crazy. It felt SO good. He had one hand on his cock and one hand keeping me in place. I knew he didn’t have a condom on. I was really aware of that and it kept running through my head, but it felt so good. And I was 18 and with a guy more than twice my age. And I knew I wasn’t gonna say anything if he didn’t. The rubbing and pressure kept making me just want him more and more. So much that when he finally leaned in and whispered “I’m going to fuck you now,” I just whimpered “Please!”. And the circles stopped and the pressure got stronger. I tried to relax. He pushed and then I felt a sharp stab in my hole and I gasped and threw inches of bare cock was inside me and I was no longer a virgin. He paused and stroked my back gently. “Relax, just relax and open up. Let that hole open up for me,” he whispered, adding “let me show you how good my cock can make you feel.”

PART 2 i was so nervous but sex was leading down the hall, his hand gently guiding me. His room was sparse but it wa nice. He led me in and closed the door. He looked me over as I stared at him. Finally, he spoke. “Obviously, we know each other outside of this room. That’s a totally diffferent place and it’s no ones busniness what we do here. And call me Tim. That’s my first name”, he said before smiling and adding “now get out of those clothes and get comfortable.” With that, he reached and pulled off his underwear, freeing that gorgeous man cock. I was shy, but I got naked. “Let me see you. Damn, you are hot Chris. Turn around and show me that ass. What a hot ass. Spread now so I can see your little hole. Show me, show me your boyhole,” the last part coming out almost in a whisper. I had no idea what was gonna happen or what to do, but I showed him. “Hot fucking hole. What a sexy butt. Have you gotten fucked yet Chris?” He asked. I wasn’t gonna lie, so I told him the truth. “I... I’ve sucked two guys from school a few times that’s it,” I said nervously. He grinned. “We are gonna have so much fun. Just so you know what I like, I like most everything, but most of all I like to play with a young guys butt. Touch it, lick it, fuck it. Stuff I think you want badly,” he said in a low sexy voice. I just nodded. I was so excited and nervous. “Chris, there’s something I have to do. Lay down on the bed on your tummy. Yeah, that’s it now spread your legs open a little more. Perfect,” he instructed. And then i felt him climb on the bed and crawl between my legs. I had no idea what was next. I felt him lower himself and then I felt his breath, hot as it hit my asscheeks. I felt his hands grab those cheeks and slowly pull them apart. He seemed to get even closer and I heard him inhale deeply. “God your little butt smells so fucking good Chris. So tangy and musky just like it should be,” he whispered.he was so close his face was now basically in my ass crack. And then I felt it. ThAt first flick of a wet tongue, his wet tongue, sliding across my virgin hole. I gasped and bucked, but he had a firm grip as he now lashed out at it, attacking it with his tongue. His mouth was sucking and licking and it had me gasping for breath as I bucked and writhed and learned the ectasy of having a man lick my boy hole. His tongue swirled and teased. It drove strong and deep. His mouth suckled my hole, devouring it. It felt so good I was losing control and making noises I had never made before. It just felt so good. I didn’t even care about my cock. Mr Johnson, Tim, knew how to make my ass feel better than my cock had ever felt. I continued to melt with his attention. It just felt so good. All I cared about was Tim playing with my ass. Whatever I had to do to keep this ecstasy going, to make him want to give my butt attention. He was just so good. It seemed like he loved it as much as me, and I wondered if it made him hard to play with my ass like this. I wondered if he loved my hole as much as I loved him playing with it. I wanted him too. I wanted my hole to please him.

AIDS. Sick joke, right? Kind of along the lines of the classic “What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.” Only I’m not joking (although I wish I was). And yeah, I’m the “naughty boy” in this cautionary tale. It all started off innocently enough. Me and my friends were hanging at the mall after school- we used to do that a lot. Not much else to do in our town when you’re seniors in high school, just waiting to escape into the “real world”. And it was less than a month til Christmas. All the extracurricular shit was winding down for the holidays, so we had extra free time in the evenings. No play rehearsals. No band practice. So yeah, we cruised the mall. On this particular Wednesday, I was hanging with Matty, MJ (short for Margaret Jean), and Brittany (aka Brit-Brit). We were doing our normal shit- trying on crap clothes and modeling for each other. Drooling over Apple store products. Having DQ. And people watching. I don’t remember who had the idea (not me) but someone said “Hey, let’s go visit Santa!” I thought we were a bit old for this crap, but everyone thought it would be funny. Revert to being kids again and tell him what we wanted for Christmas. Shit like that. I wasn’t really game, but I went along with them because hey. They’re my best friends after all. Anyway, it’s midweek and before 5 pm, so the Mall is fairly dead and there’s almost no line for Santa. Great, I think. We’re really doing this. I hang back and let them all go first. I figure I might be able to bow out once they all have a turn. Before I go any further, I feel like I should kinda set the stage a bit more. So the town we live in isn’t big. It’s big enough for a mall, a factory, a prison, two grocery stores, a Walmart and one high school, but that’s about it. Our town is, how should I put this… a shithole. It’s pretty run down and tragic. Not like Stonebrook, where all the fancy folk live. No, we’re definitely the “other” kind of town. The kind of town people don’t visit unless you have to. Like where the whole place is on the wrong side of the tracks. Anyway, as you can probably imagine, the mall is also pretty run down. It’s dying a slow, horrible death- kinda like most malls these days. Lots of vacant stores. Macy’s is the biggest thing we got. And Kohls. But that’s about it. I’m pretty sure you can picture what it’s like. Tis the season, so the place is decorated for Christmas (albeit poorly), and in the center atrium is where the big, phony tree is located. Along with the phony Santa, and the phony elves (actually elf, singular), and phony Gingerbread house and reindeer. The tree, the house, and the decorations have definitely seen better days, and there are burnt out lights on the tree and crap. It’s a real fucking Christmas wonderland, I tell ya. We get there and there’s no line to speak of. There’s one kid with his mom and they are finishing up, and that’s it. And I can pretty much see why. Now that we’re closer, the whole “Santa Village” looks more like “Santa’s Trailer Park”. It’s pretty sad, and more than a bit sketch. And the Santa? Definitely as sketch as they come. Kind of a greyish beard, and it looks like his suit hasn’t been cleaned since the chimneys from last year. We’re talking serious homeless vibes. Total cringe. Undeterred and buoyed by her goofy, giggly spirit, Brit-Brit goes first as we all hang back. Matty and MJ are laughing and waving and enjoying it all. Taking snaps with their phone cameras. And I’m just watching dirty Santa probably getting his holly jollies from having a cute teen girl wiggle on his lap. I mean, let’s be honest. If you’re an old dude working as a Santa midweek at a rundown mall- you’ve got to be some kind of [banned word]… amiright? Anyway, after whispering what she wants to Santa and having a grand ol time, Brit-Brit hops off his lap and comes back to our pack. Full of good cheer, Brit and MJ push Matty up there next. He trots up plops down on Santa’s lap- hamming it up for us. Because it’s Matt, our leading man. He’s 6 feet of big grins and affable charm. Naturally he goes for the “aw shucks” schtick, miming asking for a football for Christmas. What a goofball- which is why I’m secretly in love with him. I’m still hanging back and MJ goes next. She’s all business as she marches up and takes her turn. It looks like she’s really getting serious, pleading her case with Santa and trying to wheedle her way onto the nice list (cuz we all know she’s permanently on the naughty list). Just ask her parents. Soon MJ is done and back and they all turn to me, expectantly. “Naw guys, I don’t think I’m down. Not really my speed,” I say with a shrug. This was met with a cacophony from the others. They would have NONE of this. I had to do it. It was fun! They wanted pictures. And above all they wanted to see me, the shy one, on Santa’s lap. I was told it was a moral imperative and that I was NOT getting out of doing it, even if they had to drag me up there. At this point, I knew it was better to just get it over with than fight it. I probably could have just walked away toward the food court, but I knew they’d be disappointed. I was already the “fourth one” in the group, and I wanted them to keep inviting me along places… if for no other reason than to be close to Matty. So I relented- but not without making a big show of giving in. Sighing. Eye rolls. The works. So I started my slow, reluctant walk up to Santa. The closer I got, the more oddly nervous I became. Like, there was something making my tummy clench a bit. I think it had something to do with the way Santa was looking at me—like I was the last rib at the Golden Corral buffet. Yeah, dirty Santa was definitely giving me the eye. I watched his gaze scan down my body lecherously and come to rest at my groin in my grey sweatpants. I was suddenly quite self-conscious about what I was wearing. The last few steps to him were agonizingly slow, and I was seriously debating about turning around. But that nervous excitement in my gut couldn’t be denied. I turned around to sit on his knee, but suddenly I felt his hands firmly at my hips. As I was sitting, he pulled me back and fully into his lap, all while doing his best jovial HO HO HO! My friends were all laughing and eating it up. I felt my face flush a bit with embarrassment- not just because of this whole Santa scene, but also because when I sat down, I could most definitely feel Santa’s package pressed against my asscrack. Fucking [banned word]. All of them I tell ya. And something was telling me this Santa was a gay [banned word]. “Ho Ho HO young man! And what is YOUR name?” Skeezy Santa asked . Up close, his makeup was terrible. Definitely theater makeup applied with a heavy hand, all caked and cracked. Over the phony rosy cheeks and highlighted by heavy eyeliner, his dark eyes twinkled. “Ummm, it’s Kyle,” I managed to reply. “Oh yes. Kyyyyyle. I remember you,” he nodded theatrically. “You do?” I asked naively. “Of COURSE! From my lists!” he laughed. “So. Have you been a good boy this year… or a bad boy?” He asked somewhat conspiratorily. “Um, shouldn’t you already know? Because lists,” I say sarcastically. (In case you couldn’t tell, I’m the sarcastic one in our group). That’s when Santa looks at me and for a second it’s like he’s looking into my soul. “Oh, I know exactly what you’ve been up to- I just enjoy hearing handsome lads plead their cases.” I gulp and am suddenly quite uncomfortable with all of this while my stomach continues doing backflips. “I, ah, I guess I’ve been pretty good this year. I’m getting good grades. Helping mom at home. Staying out of trouble. Stuff like that.” “So you have… so you have,” he says nodding again. And then he leans in closer and whispers “And yet you’ve also been a bit… naughty… haven’t you Kyle?” I catch the smell of cigarettes and a faint whiff of alcohol. He shifts a bit underneath me, and I can feel him stiffening inside his red velvet pants. From what I can tell, Santa’s proverbial stocking is definitely hung. Feeling his massive member pressing against my ass makes me shiver, and I feel a bit like I’m going to hurl. The simultaneous feelings of revulsion and titilation really mess me up. “I don’t know… what… what you’re implying…” I stammer. “Oh, I think you do,” he whispers even more quietly, punctuating it with a flex of his cock. “You’ve been more than a bit naughty this year—with some school chums, I’d wager Perhaps even your friend Matt?” I feel my face go hot with shame and embarrassment. He couldn’t possibly know my secret. That I liked guys. And worse- that I’ve had sex with a handful of guys from school. Sure it was mostly just blowjobs, but not always. And since this past summer, I’d been getting fucked about every other day by Jimmy Pulaski from the swim team. That was totally our secret to the grave! I could feel Santa’s eyes boring hungrily into me. “Oh Kyle,” he chided. “You know the song. I see you when you’re sleeping. I know when you’re awake. I know if you’ve been bad… watching gay porn on your phone and jacking off at night. Sucking off boys at sleep overs. Fantasizing about getting fucked by your cute friend Matt.” “I’m not familiar with those particular lyrics,” I manage to squeak out. This makes him laugh, like for real-real. “I know EXACTLY what kind of boy you are, Kyle. I can spot your kind a mile away,” he whispers with a grin. “And I’m pretty sure you can feel what kind of Santa I am.” Again, he grinds his now wickedly hard cock into my ass as he makes a show of adjusting me on his lap. And again I’m mortified- and aroused. Santa lets out a good round of Ho-ho-hos and I steal a glance at my friends. They are loving seeing me so uncomfortable. If only they knew why. “Oh Kyle. You have definitely been the highlight of my day! So here’s what Santa can do for you for Christmas. If you consider yourself a nice boy, then by all means, go back to your friends. Have fun here at the mall. Then go on home to your mom like a good lad, and I’ll make sure you get a little something under the tree this year.” Then he lowered his voice and the phony Santa schtick disappeared. “But if ya feel like being naughty? Well. I have a special BIG gift for you. And if you want that special gift- meet me here at 8 when my Santa’s village closes tonight.” He then mugged for the camera, and his Elf helper took our picture with a knowing smirk. I looked at the proof, but declined to purchase it. In it Santa looked like a sleazy Walt Whitman, and I looked like a deer caught in headlights. I rejoined my friends and we were off in a cloud of laughter. Matty and MJ were chatting loudly about how skeevy the Santa was, like it was all some big joke. Brit was just telling them to leave the old guy alone and that he probably really needed the job. And I was quiet- trying not to feel the ghost imprint of his cock against my ass. My friends and I hung around the mall for a couple more hours—hitting the food court for Sbarro and Egg Rolls, and generally bumming around and shooting the shit. I tried my best to be present and join in the conversations, but Santa’s words were rattling around my head. Of course I was a nice boy. I was just gonna head home tonight… right? So why was I even thinking about the way his big cock felt as I sat on his lap. And my was my stomach still all fluttery while I was thinking about it. 7:30 rolled around and we all decided it was time to beat it for home. We headed for the exit, and just as I was leaving I startled myself by saying, “Oh shit. I just remembered! I was gonna pick up something for mom for Christmas while I was here. You guys go on- I’ll catch you tomorrow at school.” We said our goodbyes , and suddenly I was alone. I was alone at the Mall. Where a sketch as fuck, hung Santa propositioned me. And I was actually entertaining the idea. What. The literal FUCK. Was I doing? The next 30 minutes were agony. I paced the mall, debating with myself. I should just go home. But I was curious. I wouldn’t have to do anything. I could maybe just ask him how he know about me? Was I obvious? No, I should just go home now. Forget this weird Santa business. But maybe I could just… see his dick? Not like actually touch it or anything because gross. But it felt massive. Like waaaay bigger than Jimmy’s. Or even Tony Scarpucci’s, which gagged the hell out of me that one time when he got drunk at homecoming. Why the fuck was I even entertaining this? He’s a pervy old fuck! I should just… And then it was 8:02 pm. And I found myself standing outside Santa’s sketchy village. The sign was flipped to closed, and the lights were off at the Gingerbread house. The elf guy was already out of costume and was helping to tidy things up. Santa looked up and saw me standing there and smiled. “I was wondering if you’d show up, kiddo,” he said. I just stood there and looked at my feet. “I can handle the rest, Eric. You can go on home. Now,” Santa said pointedly to Eric. Eric looked from Santa to me and smirked again. “Is Santa doing some special gift-giving tonight?” Eric asked breezily. Santa lay a finger on the side of his nose and winked. And with that, Eric said a cheery “have fun… and good luck, dude!” and left us alone. Santa turned to me. “So Kyle. I need to get out of this makeup and stuff. Come on into the house here and keep me company?” And he headed for the Gingerbread house door. “I thought this was just some phony prop,” I said. “It is,” he replied. “But it’s also our break room/dressing room. It’s small, but it works. And best of all, it’s private.” And with that I followed him inside. He locked the door behind us. Inside was definitely small. There was a rack for costumes, three vinyl chairs, and a small table/mirror setup with those round globe makeup lights. Scattered about the table was makeup, tissues, an ashtray and other detritus. It smelled like cigarettes and B.O. And … something else I couldn’t identify. “Cozy,” I quipped. He laughed. “Take a seat, kiddo.” Santa reached into a bag on the floor and pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniels. He unscrewed the top and took a healthy swig. He looked over at me and said, “Want a pull? Might help you relax some.” I shook my head. He just shrugged, set the bottle on the makeup table, and started to disrobe. “Oh! Um…” I kind of stammered. “Oh don’t worry. I just gotta get out of the jacket and hat and stuff.” He first took off the hat and wig and placed them on a stand. Then he took off the dirty jacket and the pads that were underneath to make him appear chubby. This Santa was actually quite thin underneath the padding and baggy clothing. He was nearly emaciated looking, but with a slight paunch. I was reminded of the Christmas Claymation special where Mrs. Claus says “Nobody likes a skinny Santa.” I kinda did. Soon Santa was standing in front of me, still in his red velvet pants, but also in a dirty wife beater. He had skinny, bony arms and on his shoulder was an odd tattoo—three interlocking semicircles. He still had the beard —I assumed it was spirit gummed in place. Without the hat, Santa was mostly bald, but with a rim of close cropped silver hair. I just stared up at him. “The illusion shattered, huh kid?” He said with a smile. “And by the way… my name is Carl.” Then he sat at the makeup mirror so he could start removing his makeup. He was old school—Vaseline and paper towels. I watched as he got to work. Our eyes met in the mirror. “So. You came back. Why?” He asked. “Honestly, I’m not sure. I guess I was just… curious?” “Curious about…?” he led. “Oh, I guess curious about how you knew I was… that I …” I trailed off. “That you were a horny little cocksucker?” He offered. “WHAT?” I shot back. “Kid, relax. It’s not like you scream “faggot” when I look at you. But we gays? We just know, ya know? Or at least I had a hunch. And you are cute as fuck, so I pushed it. Plus it was a dead night and I figured why the hell not? I might get lucky. And after your initial reactions to sitting in my lap and my… stiffness… I knew you weren’t about to blab to anyone.” “But… but how did you know about me… doing stuff… with guys?” Carl laughed at that. “Boy, you may not think it when you look at me, but I was a young faggot once too. I know what I was doing back I when I was your age. Besides, I could see the way you were looking at your friend Matt. I’ve had that same look on my face before.” My face flushed again with that. Suddenly he spun in his chair to face me. “So—while this is nice and all, let’s get down to brass tacks. Did you also come back tonight because you liked what you felt pressed up against that pretty little ass of yours?” Carl stated matter-of-factly. “Oh… um… I…” was about all I could get out. “So, that’s a yes. Yeah, all you boys seem to get turned on by big cock. Bet you’re hoping to see it too. Maybe just to see how big I really am?” he leered. I just looked away, and then nodded. “So, why don’t you help ol Saint Dick along a bit and tell me what all you’ve done with your buddy Matt?” he says as his hand drops to his lap. “I have NEVER done anything with Matt!” I say, flustered. “Well, you ain’t innocent. I can tell you’ve got some miles on ya. So tell me. Who’s fucking that tight little bubble butt of yours? Give an old horny Santa some details!” And here I was. Sitting in the broken down Gingerbread house in the middle of the dead mall with a sketchy old [banned word] Santa, and he was asking about my sex life. And I was honestly thinking about doing it. After all, I was here— and I’ve never told a soul about any of my escapades. I kinda liked the idea of speaking my truth out loud, you know? Boy, If you’d have told me this is where my day would have ended up, I’d have told you that you were smoking crack. So I took a deep breath and started to tell him about Jimmy. “The, um, most stuff I’ve done is with a guy in my class named Jimmy Pulaski. He’s on the swim team and one of the school jocks. I met him at this one girl’s birthday party over the summer. We were both drinking a little and he followed me into the bathroom because we both had to go. We both peed at the same time, and before I knew it we were making out. And then I was blowing him right there in the bathroom. It didn’t take long. Then about a week later he sees me at school and asks what I’m doing after. I tell him not much, and he invites me over because his parents don’t get home until 6. And we end up messing around again—me blowing him. Then it becomes this regular thing. And soon we go from blowjobs to him fucking me. The first time was in his bedroom after school. Mostly it’s in his bedroom, and it’s always him fucking me. He doesn’t blow me or jack me or anything- we just fuck. I mean, it’s fun I guess. I like it. Sometimes I even cum while he’s fucking me…” I’m lost in the remembrance for a moment, and then I snap out of it. My eyes dart down and I see Carl stroking himself through the red suit pants. He looks like he’s at full mast. “Ah, young lust. I remember those days well. When the straight boys just sort of fucked because it was convenient and fun. So, how’s that polack dick? Any good?” Carl inquires. “Um…yeah. It’s pretty decent. Thick. He’s uncut. Probably about 7 inches I guess? It feels good.” “No condom I’m guessing,” he says. It’s not really a question. I shake my head no. He cum in you?” “Yes,” I say quietly. “And you like that, don’t you?” Carl leers and licks his lips. “Yes,” I say again even more quietly. “And that’s what makes you a naughty boy. And I think it’s why you came back tonight.” I don’t respond, but the butterflies in my stomach are basically beating out a morse code of YESYESYES. Carl stands up slowly and his crotch is right in front of me. The red santa suit pants tent out obscenely in front of him. I sit there, frozen. “Go on, boy. You know you want to. Just unzip the pants and haul it out. It won’t hurt you… yet.” I hesitate, and he flexes it inside the pants. I can see a wet spot starting to seep through the velvet, darkening the fabric to the color of blood. I reach out slowly and brush his hardness through the pants. His dick jumps as he sucks in a sharp breath. “I can’t believe I’m actually going to do this,” I think. “But just a look. Just to see how big…”. And then my fingers find the fly and slowly pull down the zipper. I reach in and feel the heat pulsing from his groin. I have to fish around a bit to get him through the opening, but then there it is. This massive, ruddy, rock hard prong jutting out proudly from the santa pants. It’s hard to tell exactly how big he is, but it’s definitely the biggest dick I’ve seen. It’s of porn proportions. I grip the base of it just to feel it, and my fingers don’t touch around his girth. “Holy shit,” I manage. “I get that a lot,” he chuckles. He then reached down to also tug out his balls. He has the proverbial “old man balls” going on, but they’re equally as epic as his cock. His balls are BIG. And they HANG. They literally hang to the middle of his thighs. “Holy SHIT,” I say again. “In my youth, I spent time doing the ball stretching thing. And now gravity has taken over, especially when they’re full like they are now. After all, I had cute twink edge me up all day.” He looks down at me and winks. “They really get swinging when I’m fucking, too. They’ll swing and slap your nuts and dick.” I don’t know quite what to say to that. “Ok Kyle. Time to show me what that mouth can do. Suck me like you suck Jimmy,” he commands. “Um, I’m not sure…” I start. “Yes you are. You want it. That’s why you came here tonight. You want it all. You wanna taste it. And Once you get a taste, I bet you’re gonna want me to fuck you.” “Oh, I don’t think I could ever take THAT. It would rip me open!” I say. “You’d be surprised what a willing bottom can take,” he says. His dick jumps in front of me again, and a drop of precum squeezes out the piss slit and starts to drool down from the end in a long string. I reach out and touch it with my fingers, fascinated. And before I can even think about what I’m doing, I touch my fingers to my tongue. His precum is slightly bitter and salty. “There you go… that’s a good boy. Now, let’s get the head in your mouth.” My brain is racing again—what the fuck am I doing? Am I really going to go down on Sketchy Santa? At the MALL?? It’s getting late and I should be home. What that fuck kind of faggot am I? But then I look at that massive cock again and it hits me like a slap. I know exactly what kind of faggot I am. And I take the great knob of his cock into my mouth greedily. Carl’s head tips back and he lets out a big sigh as I start sucking him. Admittedly I don’t think I’m that good a cock sucker. I gag way too much and I really don’t know what all I should be doing. Mostly I just slurp around and move my hand up and down. Carl doesn’t seem to mind though. And jesus, he’s fucking big! I can maaaaaybe get 1/3 of him in my mouth before I gag and have to stop. I’ve heard of guys and girls deepthroating entire cocks (MJ brags that she can do it), but I can’t. His head is just too big to even think about going down my throat. I take a break from sucking and get my hands around him to sort of “measure” him. I put my right hand at the base, and my left on top of that. Then I took my right hand off and put it on top of my left… and the head of his dick was still above my thumb and forefinger. Fuck. Three full hands worth of dick. Plus the head! I also take a measure of his balls. I grab at the base of his ball sack, and his balls still hang freely below my hand. I experiment by trying to take one testicle in my mouth. Carl moans in delight as I tongue and lightly suck on one testie. There’s no way I could get both in. “You like Santa’s sack, huh boy?” Carl says. “Yeah, I do sir,” I reply as I go back to playing with his nuts. “Well, there’s lots of little toys in that sack just waiting for a good boy to receive them.” I went back to sucking his cock as best I could for awhile, but suddenly Carl steps back and away from my mouth. “Ok, boy. I think it’s time I got a closer look at that ass of yours.” He hoists me up by my armpits, spins me over to the makeup table and bends me over. “Oh, I don’t know about… I’ve never done….” I say with some trepidation. “Relax, kiddo. I’m just gonna eat that little pucker of yours. But first, let me get rid of this damn Santa beard.” In the mirror, I see him reach up and start to tug at the phony beard. “Wait! Um… can you leave the beard on?” I ask tentatively. “And… um… maybe put on the santa hat?” Carl meets my eyes in the mirror and chuckles. “Ho Ho Ho! Well it seems young Kyle has a Santa kink! You like silver daddies, Kyle? Santa types with beards? Is that what turns you on?” I blushed furiously in response. Honestly, I didn’t know why I asked. Sure, my head was always turned by older men— coaches, teachers, etc. But there was just something about this scene. The mall santa (sketchy as he was), the gingerbread house, the beard and the suit… for some reason it all enticed me. I couldn’t explain it. “Well Kyle. Let’s see if this hole is as naught and nice as I suspect it is.” Carl is now talking a bit more like Santa, and I gotta be honest. It’s doing it for me. How fucked is THAT? Carl pulls down my sweats to reveal my bare ass. I feel his bony hands pull open my ass cheeks, and then I feel his hot breath in the crack of my ass. “Fuckin beautiful,” he exhales, before diving his tongue into my quivering hole. I’ve never felt anything like this before. Nobody has ever eaten my ass, and the feeling is exquisite. The heat. The wetness. The movement of the tongue. The beard… my god. The BEARD! I can feel myself relaxing and trying to spread my legs wider, only to be hampered by the sweats binding my legs up. Carl sees what I’m doing and he deftly helps me lose my shoes and sweats. While still tonguing my fuckpucker, he pulls off my right shoe. And then he works my sweats down and off that foot. Once freed, I’m able to spread my legs wide and bend over more for Carl, so he has more access to my hole. And I’m loving every second. Mostly my eyes are closed for this, but I did open them briefly and I saw myself in the mirror. I almost didn’t recognize myself. The naked lust on my face. The blown pupils. “You’re a slut like MJ,” I thought to myself. “Only worse. You’re letting a random stranger do this. And not just a stranger—one old enough to be your grandpa.” And yeah. God help me, I fucking loved it. While Carl was buried in my butthole, I piped up and asked him. “Hey Carl? How old are you?” Carl stopped eating my ass and leaned back. “Why? How old are YOU?” he says suspiciously. “You’re a mall santa eating the ass of a young guy in your dressing house— something tells me you don’t really care how old I am,” I say. “Look kid. I ain’t no pedo. I like my boys to be old enough to know what they’re doing and appreciate this cock. And I would really prefer not to go back to prison so….” “Is that where you got that tattoo?” I gesture to his shoulder. He looks at it. “Oh yeah. That’s where I got it,” he says with a wry smile. “Well, don’t worry. As of September I’m old enough to vote and serve our country. All good.” Carl goes back to eating my ass. He pauses just long enough to say from my crack, “I’m 68.” “Wow. My grandpa Henry is only 61,” I say. “You turned off by a man 50 years your senior eating your hole, boy?” “No. Not at all. Actually, it’s kinda hot knowing that older guys are still horny for it.” And to show that he is, he redoubles his efforts on my hole. I’m not sure how long Carl ate my ass. He kept tonguing and spitting and tonguing and spitting, and occasionally teasing my hole with a finger. I could feel my back arching and my ass pressing back into his face and finger—I knew what I wanted, but I didn’t think I could take what was bound to happen next. Carl, being a savvy man of the world could read my body language. He stood up and moved behind me. Our eyes locked in the mirror as he did this. I watched as he drooled a lot of spit out onto my ass and his cock, and then I felt him slowly start to slide his massive meat against my spit slick crack. Just the feel of that much cock sliding against me has me almost cumming. Involuntarily I start moving in rhythm with his humping motion, getting that monster to slide in my crack like a Chicago footlong in a bun. I see him reach across the makeup table where he grabs the jar of Vaseline. Shit- I guess we’re going old school for this, I think. He scoops up a generous portion and starts to finger my hole with it. He’s very good—teasing and circling around slowly. Eventually working in a finger. Then two. But I’m tensing up for the fingering. No guy has ever put a digit in me either—only dick. So his bony fingers feel sharp and foreign. Next he slathers up his dick with another goodly amount of Vaseline. I see his hefty meat shining in the lights from the mirror. He goes back to rubbing it against my ass, and then he stops and positions his head at my pucker. “Wait. Shouldn’t we get a condom?” “Why? You don’t make Jimmy wear one. Or the other guys. Why start now? And trust me—it’s going to be hard enough getting this inside without the friction and tightness of a condom.” And to emphasize his point, Carl nudges his head forward a fraction of an inch. Even with the Vaseline it burns a bit. “Oh dear baby jesus… that’s never going in,” I said with a shiver. “Oh yes it will. All it takes is a little Christmas magic,” he says. Carl reaches into the pocket of his Santa pants and pulls out a small, brown bottle. He hands it to me. “What’s this?” I say? “Christmas magic, of course,” he says with a grin. “You ever wonder how Santa can get his fatness up and down all those tight, little chimneys? Well, a little whiff of what’s in this bottle is all it takes.” I am really hesitant at this point, and I draw the line at drugs. So I just hold the bottle, and Carl says “Suit yourself.” And he starts to push inside me. “Oh FUCK that hurts!” I cry out as I try to squirm away. “Hush up!” Carl commands. “These walls aint exactly soundproof.” He starts to slowly push in again. “Wait wait wait!” I whisper. “I think I need some magic.” Carl pauses as I uncap the bottle. I’m met with a sweet, yet acrid chemical smell. “Just place the bottle under you nose and inhale a bit. It’s like smelling salts… for your asshole.” So I place the bottle under my nose and take a deep sniff. The warmth soon floods over my body and I feel tingly and a bit dizzy. I also notice a pressure at my asshole. A slightly burning, stretching feeling, and a fullness inside. Somewhere in my brain, I realize that Carl’s huge penis is starting to make it’s way inside me. I also dimly realize that it hurts a bit, but I also kinda don’t mind that it hurts a bit. “Oh my god…” I exhale. “Just you wait, kiddo. I ain’t even CLOSE to being all the way in. Take another whiff and we’ll see how far I can get.” With a few more inhalations of the brown bottle and some steady pressure from Carl, he slowly starts to make forward progress. Carl has one of those dicks that is ramrod straight and hard, but not like steel. There is still a little sponge to the head and shaft. Like he’s 95% hard and rarin’ to fuck. Soon I feel my ass stuffed to the point of tearing. I also feel a dull pain inside where evidently Carl’s prick has hit bottom. “Ouch,” I tell him. “I think that’s as much as I can take. Maybe you should pull out now.” “You mean like this?” he says, as he slowly starts to retreat out of me. The long pullout is intense and makes me shudder as his meat drags across my prostate. “Oh FUCK me that’s good!” I manage to croak out. Carl doesn’t pull all the way out. Instead, he leaves his head parked inside and adds more Vaseline to his dick. Then he starts the long, slow slide back in. His dick moves more easily this time—like either I’m relaxing more or the Vaseline has finally slickened me up enough. Carl bottoms out again, and backs out again. Rinse. Repeat. And I occasionally hit the bottle for relaxation help. After a few minutes, he pushes in to the stopping point again. “Kid, we gotta get past this point. I’m at your second ring and I got a good two inches left of dick to give you. You need to trust me that once I get past this point, you are gonna find the true meaning of Christmas. So take a good whiff and relax for me.” I do as I’m told and I exhale and will myself to relax. I feel Carl’s massive head pushing deep inside my guts. It hurts, I’m not going to lie. But in a weird way. Like, it’s both a sharp and dull ache inside me, but there is a pleasure quotient that is also undeniable. He pushes ever so slowly and the pain builds, and then… Joy to the motherfucking WORLD! “Now THAT’S a good boy!” Carl exclaimed. “You just made my secret ‘special’ Naughty List!” The feeling when his head breached that deep deep place inside me? I honestly don’t know how to describe it. Once his head popped in—I felt his cock slide easily all the way to the root inside me. The brief intense pain was replaced by pleasure that nearly caused my knees to buckle. “Oh… my… God… Oh……. My……. GOD!” I gasped. Carl stayed buried inside me and made small movements back and forth and around, and all of it was pure pleasure. Then he slowly withdrew, maybe about midway, and then pushed forward again. This time his head popped in with only a little resistance.” “Now you’re opening up. I told you Santa had a big ol present for a special boy!” I was now freely hitting the bottle and getting more into the fuck while Carl started to slowly pick up tempo. I honestly lost track of time in my haze, but before long, Carl was really giving me all of this dick. Like slowly pulling out until only his head was inside, then shoving in until his bony hips slapped my muscle butt. “Wow, I can’t believe I’m taking it all!” I groan. “Yeah, all the precum I’m leaking has lubed you up inside so your guts are slick. We can get to fuckin now,” he says. Carl then started to fuck and snap his hips forward. That’s when I felt the first ball slap. As promised, his balls swung forward and tapped mine making me gasp. “Oh!” The feeling both startled me and turned me on. “Told ya, kiddo. My balls will really get to slapping you now.” And they did. More bottle snorts, more relaxation, and I caught myself in the mirror again. This time I watched. It was like I was watching one of the porn scenes I so frequently jacked off to. Only I was also feeling the pleasure from the fuck at the same time. The guy in the mirror was gooned out all the way, tongue lolling out, drooling on the table. Fucking back onto Santa with every thrust and having his balls slap repeatedly into his balls and taint. And Santa was gripping the guy in the mirror’s hips hard, as he hungrily watched his cock disappear repeatedly inside the young guy’s ass. “Oh Christ kid, you’ve got me close!” Santa says. Carl keeps fucking me with all of his might and I swear I feel his cock get harder. Like that extra 5%, which translated into like another half inch of dick and some extra girth. I’m feeling every damn thrust from him and my insides are starting to ache mightily. His balls are also tightening up, as they’re now only slapping into my taint, which is oddly working up my own orgasm. I know what’s coming (or so I think) and the small, intellectual part of my brain is saying “don’t let this stranger cum inside you.” But the animal side of my brain has fully taken over now and I find myself willing him to cum. I WANT to feel him cum inside me. I DESERVE it after all. “You ready for your gift Kyle? Santa has a special gift for naughty boys!” His eyes lock on mine in the mirror. “It’s coming. Do you want Santa’s gift? Tell me you’ve been a naughty boy. Beg me for your gift!” “Fuck yeah, Santa! I’ve been so fucking naughty! Letting guys fuck me. I want your special gift for Christmas! Please Santa?” “Here it come’s boy! A gift you’ll never forget!” And with that he thrusts one more time, hard, and buries himself deep inside me. And I feel it. I feel him cum. The throbs of his orgasm cause his cock to press deeper inside me and stretch my hole. I feel every spurt. Every dick twitch as he unloads all the way up inside me. The feeling of him cumming inside me pushes me over the edge. This entire time I’ve been rock hard and leaking precum everywhere, but I haven’t once touched my dick, and neither has Carl. But we didn’t need to. Carl is still spurting inside me when I arch back and start launching my load. I’m proud to say I completely spackled that makeup mirror and table. It was running down in streaks like a scene in a horror film. Carl saw it and just chuckled. “I’m gonna have to clean that before Eric comes in tomorrow,” he says. Now that I’ve cum, the realization of what I’ve done is starting to set in. I start to panic a little as I pull off Carl’s softening dick. When he slides out of my ass, a large blob of cum drips out of my hole and hits the floor. “Oh my god! You fucked me. You CAME in me! What the fuck was I thinking?? Jesus, you tricked me you fucking [banned word]!” I spat. “Now now, Kyle, don’t get chippy. You wanted this. You know you did. And hell, I just bet in a couple days you’ll come back to visit Santa because that ass will be craving another Christmas gift.” I start to reply but am cut short by a PA announcement from the Mall. “The Mall will be closing in 5 minutes. Please make your way to the exits.” “Better get going home to Mom, kiddo,” Carl says with a smirk. “Hope you enjoy your gift. Oh, and if you want more, you know where to find me. Maybe next time I can arrange for another Santa too? I know Terry the black Santa here would love a shot at that ass.” I pulled up my sweats, threw on my shoe and beat feet for the exit… and home. I beat myself up the entire drive home, cursing Carl and my stupidity. I dashed past mom while apologizing for being late and ran to my room. As I lay in bed, I tried to forget what had happened at the mall. But my sore wet ass was a constant reminder. As was my relentless boner that took jacking off 3 times to make go away. And yeah- I thought about Carl’s cock breeding me every time I jacked for the next 4 days. Until I went back to the mall on Monday evening….

Bless you all for taking such an interest in why others make the choices they make. I struggle just trying to understand why I make the choices I make. Can you see where I'm going with this? A new topic might help. I don't understand the desire to ask "Why would someone want to get pozzed? No, I will not do that. I'm not starting that topic because there's no answer that will change way I think about that question. The way I'm supposed to rationalize and justify to others a desire that was complicated, confusing and personal to me at the time. I don't know that I could have truly answered the question meaningfully at the time. Back then, I would have earnestly tried to make you understand what I was thinking and feeling. That's a lot to ask of someone before they get to hear people discuss and analyze it. The cherry on top is the OP saying, "I still don't get it".

I had been meeting a gay couple for a few years and one night they finally talked me into receiving a golden shower. It was in their shower and it was awesome. They had been drinking beer and had lots of volume. Didn't drink any for quite some time, but eventually I did, and I've liked it ever since but it doesn't consume me. Like getting my cunt fucked, I just do it occasionally.

Damn. I'm addicted to black men. The man who pozzed me was an anonymous hookup in a city park one night. Met him while cruising. I eventually found myself on my back in the dirt with my pants off, legs up with his 8" dick deep in me and only my spit lubing my hole. He fucked me for 10 minutes until he started moaning loudly and going balls deep. I could feel his dick pulsating knowing his black babies were filling me. When I got home my pants were wet and stained with the pink mixture of his nut and my ass juices and blood. Little did I know his nut was toxic as 3 weeks later I got the fuck flu and tested poz a few months later.

Yesterday I was back at the bathhouse to have some fun, got fucked and loaded in my room, got another load in mouth while getting fucked in one of the public rooms. The best was a hook up with an Asian man that took me back to his room and fucked me in all kinds of positions. He was very verbal and aggressive, called me his boy, would slap my face, cock and balls ( I still have a bruise on my cock) he opened his door so others could watch and also share my ass but there were no takers. What a missed opportunity as I was very horned up and looking to get fucked by everyone, maybe next time.

This really speaks to me. AIDS also made me afraid of gay sex (of being my true self), and I’m not sure I’ve ever 100% recovered. Gay sex has always been a forbidden fruit, something that I have to hide. Even with modern medicines like PreP, I can’t help but feel like I’m playing Russian roulette every time I have sex with a man. It was just burned into my brain in the 1980’s

Tbh as a top it’s the first question I ask , if the bottom doesn’t answer directly ( it’s a simple Yes / No question) I’ll just assume he’s a time waster and more on. just this top’s perspective

CUM DUMP AUDITION I had a message from a guy looking for a reliable anon bttm for repeat breeds. He asked if I was prepared to be a hole for him. I asked what he had in mind and he confirmed he had a regular load to dump but a wank just didn’t do it. He wanted a regular anon hole he could just turn up and use. No chat, no interaction , just a genuine hole to slide into and pump a load into when he needed it. It sounded perfect so I invited him to try my cunt. As usual I was hooded and ass up when he arrived. I was in my pup hood and jock with my CUM DUMP socks on, so there was no mistaking my role in this trial agreement. He arrived to find my hole plugged and lubed ready for use. He slapped his semi hard cock against my hole and pulled the plug out. Then he was solid and stuffed his dick straight inside me as he pushed down on my ass cheeks. This was such a hot fuck and my hole was on trial. He spent a good time silently gliding in and out of my cunt and only spoke to request poppers off me. He was clearly enjoying the audition and it wasn’t long before he spoke again when he confirmed, ‘M8 I ain’t even finished inside you and I know I’ll be back. I simply groaned with pleasure as he fucked harder and deeper and I knew I was about to take his seed. Sure enough he told me he was about to cum and he filled my cunt with his hot spunk load. I could feel him flexing his duck as he emptied his balls. He pulled out and tagged my ass as proof of use and left. He says I passed the audition!

I'm with @gingerdaddyG. Without question, it has to be in me.

Agree strongly with most of the OP. It’s critical that we engage on local and state levels. I don’t agree that it’s always easy to figure out who the best choice is. In Dallas, our local/county elections are nonpartisan, and some campaigns are well practiced in obscuring the candidate’s real positions. That’s especially true in school board elections. Before voting, I always check the endorsements of Stonewall Democrats of Dallas and generally follow their recommendations. If you live in an urban area, you can likely find an LBGTQ or other progressive organization that screens candidates and can inform your choices. Straight-ticket voting isn’t same as down-ballot voting though. Straight ticket refers to voting straight down the ballot for all nominees of the same party. In most jurisdictions, that means straight-ticket voting is irrelevant in primary elections. In general elections, I always vote a Democratic straight ticket. I understand the appeal of voting for person not party, I just think it’s a fool’s errand given our political system and the current political climate.

I was in my 20s and I sucked this man off he must’ve been in his older 60s at the time I loved his cock he was at least 40 years older than me !!!!!! I sucked his cock so many times !!!! to this day. I love old man cock I need it more than ever.

Let me preface this with a statement that I'm not endorsing any of these potential reasons. They are, instead, quick recaps of things that people have said and posted online here (and elsewhere). 1. Some people believe in the fantasy of a "brotherhood" - that sharing a disease connects you to other guys who have the same disease, creating some sort of bond. It's horsecrap, of course, but some people really do have this fantasy idea of a sort of toxic Elks Club, where getting pozzed is your initiation into increased levels of debauchery. It's true there are a handful of sex parties, etc. that are only open to positive men - but it's not like there is a shortage of events to have sex at for guys in general. (Shortage of participants you're interested in and who are interested back, maybe.) 2. At one time, some sexually active guys who hated condoms figured it was going to happen to them sooner or later, and they wanted it sooner because then they could stop worrying about each sexual encounter. I think this attitude picked up considerably once highly effective treatments debuted about 15 or 20 years ago, and then has waned somewhat with the advent and widespread use of PrEP. 3. Some guys viewed it as an element in a domination/submission world - where some guys submit enough to a dominant guy that he infects them as part of his demonstrating his dominance. As any number of people will attest here, the idea that it's no big deal because you just take one pill a day for the rest of your life and you'll be fine is bullshit. There are all sorts of increased health risks and things you have to monitor if you're poz (unless you have a death wish, that is). Which I suppose would be #4: people who just want to get life over with, fast. There's a lot of discussion about the appeal of being poz and chasing getting pozzed in the Backroom area. This, however, is the health forum. The site allows some discussion about personal experiences regarding the upsides of being poz here - something I have mixed feelings about, myself - but any discussions encouraging people to get pozzed belong in the Backroom area, not here.

You Studs set a high bar. Hope my Fat Black Uncut Dick measures up.

PART 3 The bedroom was small and dark, like the rest of the apartment. The fan tried moving the hot air around, but it was still muggy. He laid me on the bed on my back, raising my legs. I felt him tug on the thing vibrating in my ass. The vibration stopped. I grunted when he popped it out, feeling a relief as my ass was getting a break from the stimulation. He let my legs fall back to the bed. He began massaging my feet, the pressure feeling so good. He began working up to my calves and I groaned softly with the pleasure. My legs raised, he moved in closer, and I felt his hefty cock laying against my balls. “You want this so badly,” he said intently but softly. “Your boyfriend did, too. He kept coming back. He got nervous and ran off that first night, but he came back a few nights later. Ready for it. Wanting it so badly that he begged me for it.” I could picture it in my head. Jared here in this apartment, ass spread on the couch like I just was. Laying in this bed like I am now. This weird craving for Henry’s cock. Jared and I have fucked each other, so I know the sounds he makes. I know how he likes it. And now I realized he was wanting more than what we were doing. I remember the night just before he left for the summer when he pulled the condom off of me while we were fucking. Henry was massaging my thighs, then reached the sensitive spot on either side of my pelvis. Here he was more delicate, stimulating rather than massaging. I groan and arched my back. I didn’t know how sensitive this spot was. I started to writhe, losing control as he worked his hands up my torso. “I was deep inside your boyfriend, college boy. He’d never had raw cock before mine. You haven’t had it yet, either. I gave him what he really wanted …. What he was made for. I fucked him raw and put my seed in him. And you know what? Each time I did, he needed more. He kept coming back and I kept pozing his ass.” I felt his cock press harder against my pelvis, the sweat lubing his cock so it slid across my body. He pinned me with his body, the weight feeling so good on top of me. “Do the same to me,” I said quietly to Henry. He grinned, pushing himself back into a kneeling position between my legs. He lifted my legs,, pressing my knees to my chest. My muscles were so relaxed that I easily folded into the position. It felt odd, being compressed like that. I could feel him moving his pelvis, his cock brushing against my ass which was hiked up. He teased my ass with his cock while making out. Slowly he reached backward for some of the things he’d brought from the living room with us. I looked down the length of my body. I could see it. His raw cock. Long and hard as he slowly slicked with lube. There was no rubber. Part of me thought I should say something about a condom. Now was the time to do it. He’d put one on if he wanted to fuck me badly enough. But those words weren’t able to form in my mouth. I pictured Jared laying here like me, Henry doing the same motions, massaging his own cock as he spread lube across it. Jared gave into him; he took that cock raw and got pozzed by this man. Deep inside I knew I was going to do the same. Henry pressed a bottle of poppers under my nose, squeezing off one nostril then the other as I took a couple of hits. “Hold it in until I tell you to exhale.” I did as I was told, feeling the heaviness held in my lungs. “Exhale slowly.” I let it out slowly, again smelling the distinct odor of the poppers. The rush slammed me at once, my heart excelerating and a hot feeling moving up through my body and out across my arms, all my muscles relaxing. My head started to swim a bit. But what I really felt was an intense hunger in my ass. I started breathing heavier. Henry knew; he was towering over my body, watching me succumb, waiting for this moment. He didn’t miss a beat, rolling my legs back further so my feet were directly over my head. “Someone looks hungry,” he growled. I saw one hand go to his long cock and take aim. He pressed his body forward, and I lost sight of his cock as I felt pressure on my hole. I could feel the heat coming off his cock – the heat of his raw skin. No rubber, nothing between us. This wild, primal thrill went through me. I wanted to say something … anything … but couldn’t form a single word. All I heard was my heart pounding in my chest, and suddenly felt the sharp pressure of penetration into my bare ass. “Ahhh!” was the only sound I could manage to make. His raw cock continued to slide up into my eager hole, and I let out a soft whimper. I could feel his trimmed pubic hair brushing up against my spread ass. “That’s it, college boy. Just breathe. Your ass is so ready for this. It wants this. Just let those muscles wrap themselves around my cock.” I breathed deep and started to relax again, the anxious thoughts falling away as I felt Henry flex his dick inside me. I was swimming in the poppers, beer and thick summer heat. I looked at Henry, my eyes feeling kinda groggy, but my body totally awake. Henry stayed where he was, his thick cock sitting inside me, letting me get used to the feeling. I felt the heat of his raw skin against mine, radiating inside me. Then he began to move. It was a subtle movement at first, his dick just kind of massaging me from the inside. But his movements quickly became strokes, and he picked up speed. I was getting fucked — raw fucked. “How’s it feel, college boy? How’s that raw cock feel?” I’d never felt anything like this before. His cock glided in and out of my hole. I could feel the contours of his dick as it pushed and pulled at my hole. “Fuck! That’s amazing!” Henry responded by pushing my legs wider, holding my ankles, and staring down at me. His face was contorted with his own pleasure, and he even rolled his head back, closing his eyes, just feeling the sensations on his cock. Feeling himself deep inside me. He started fucking me harder. The sounds of skin slapping skin got louder, and I felt sweat dripping off him onto my abs. I was moaning now, totally lost in the fuck. “That’s it, college boy. Take my cock like your boyfriend does. I knew you were a fuckhole like he is.” “Fucking pound me!” I roared as he was pounding into me, my body shaking with each thrust of his cock. I wanted more! “Fuck yeah, fuckhole! Perfect little fuckhole,” he said, sweating pouring down his body. Henry started slowing down, then pulled out. He leaned back into a kneeling position again, panting. His dick was standing straight up, slathered in lube and wet with my ass. It was a deep red, raw, engorged from pounding my hole. “Fuck boy! This is intense!” “Did you cum?” I asked nervously. I felt a mix of fear and disappointment. Fear that he’d cum inside me — no one ever had. I’d always done the right thing and been fucked with a condom. But there was also a feeling of disappointment I didn’t understand. Did I want to get loaded? He already told me he is poz. But a part of me wanted to have that, to take that load. “No, college boy. You haven’t earned that, yet. You’re gonna know when it happens — you’ll feel it.” He rolled me onto my side, then laid down behind me. He lifted one of my legs. I felt him positioning the head of his cock to line up with my hole again. “I can’t take much more,” I said. “My hole is getting sore.” I felt his cock slide away from my hole and his body turned slightly. “Your boyfriend said the same thing the first time I gifted him.” He fumbled around for a moment, then pushed the bottle of poppers up under my nose, roughly pushing the bottle neck into my nostril. “Take four long hits, holding your breath between each one,” he ordered me. “This is what its like to be a fuckhole. You don’t just get pozzed. You have to earn it.” [Let me know how you’re enjoying the story. Can simply click the blue heart or leave a message. I’ll say I’m really enjoying writing this for ya’ll]

PART 13 Ted smiled as he opened the door. In the light, he looked pretty much as I had remembered him from the booth, except maybe a few more years older than I had thought. But definitely as tall as I had thought and just as tbin, if not thinner. He had on a white tank top that cling to his thin frame and loose basketball shorts. As I looked closer, I could see the outline of his cock thru the thin satiny fabric. He caught me stAring and grinned even bigger as he guided me in by putting an arm around my shoulder. His apartment was clean and nice, not fancy, but definitely comfortable. But that was all I took in as Ted guided my down the hallway immediately, and into his “fuck room” as he called it. I took in what was normally a bedroom. It had a small desk and computer in one corner and one wall lined fully with mirrors, another wall had a tv screen already playing gay porn, and then a full size bed wa against another wall. Finally, hanging from the ceiling in another corner opposite of the mirrored wall was what I instinctively knew to be a sex swing, a sling. I don’t even know if the door was all the way shut before he was naked and urging me to take my clothes off. I was embarrassed that I was already hard, but quickly stripped. This was different than the booths. Ted had the lights bright in the room and he stopped and took a long look at my naked body. “Chris, are you SURE you are 18? Absolutely sure?”, he said with amlittle doubt. I was afraid he was going to stop and immediately spoke out “I swear to god I am 18. I can show you my license and everything. I am still in high school and live with my parents but I am 18. Please don’t make me leave.” I scrambled to my shorts and pulled out my wallet. He waved it away. “Chris I trust you. I am glad you trusted me enough to show me your ID. I don’t need to actually see it. You know what I really liked? I really liked how bad you want to be here. And that was really your first time at a bookstore like that wasn’t it?”, he said as he started handling his cock. I noddedand then added “I did get fucked one other time, but the other day at the bookstore was my second time with a guy. Or guys, I guess.”, as I laughed nervously. “Fuck that’s hot. And now you are here, all in a week. You must be so horny. All those years I bet, just thinking about cock and man sex, jerking off every day. And now finally, you discovered it. You tried it. And you just want it more and more. And the best part is you are already hooked on raw sex. I bet you wouldn’t let me use a condom if I wanted to.”, he said softly. At that last line, a visible look of fear shot across my face. “Don’t worry”, he continued, “there’s no way I would do that to you. No condoms right?” I shook my head. “Why don’t you say it. Say it out loud so I know you mean it. I know I don’t want to use a condom when I fuck you. I want to fuck that hole bareback and I want to shoot my load deep inside it. My poz load. Is that what you want too?” I gulped and in a quiet voice, I said those two words out loud, “no condoms.” “And how do you want me to fuck you?”, he whispered as he edged closer. “Bareback no condom.”, I said louder now as the excitement of the moment grew. “And my load? Do you want my poz load inside your hole? Do you want me to cum inside you Chris?”, he asked. “I want it! I want your cum in me. Please just fuck me til you cum. It’s ok.” I practically begged. His hard cock was now inches from my eager mouth but he paused and asked me another question, “You do know I have HIV Chris? And my cum is full of it. Are you sure this is what it want? Cuz I want to fuck you so bad and I want to flood that little hole, but I want to make sure you want it?” The way he said it was genuine not concern, but just really wanting to make sure this 18 year old kid knew what he was getting himself into. As serious a topic, somehow the gesture just made the whole scene sexier. I didn’t know what to say except the truth. “I don’t know. I love getting fucked but there’s something about knowing you are giving me your cum. I can’t help it. It’s like my favorite part of it and I just want it. I know it’s dangerous but I can’t help it. I don’t even know why but I just feel like I need it. Like I really need it. Even if, even if it’s so risky. Please, you’ll still cum inside me right?” In the moment, in that sex room, actually talking about all this stuff, it was almost too much and my need made me emotional. Ted looked down at me, my face a picture of desperation with tears almost swimming in my eyes, so hungry for him. “Don’t worry baby. I have so much cum for that hole. I’m gonna give you a huge load. Just what you need.” And the distance closed and my mouth opened and I was sucking his cock, worshipping it.

Part 6 We took a few minutes to allow the boys to freshen up in the shower, have some water and get a little to eat before we readied them for the next part of their welcome to their new home. We took them down to the ‘work area’ and the largest room we have in the place. In the room we had 2 slings set up and plenty of fixed cameras to catch all the action that was about to happen. We helped the boys get into the slings and secured their arms and legs before we told them what was about to happen to them for the next session. Before we could start to tell them about what was planned one of the twins asked if they were now poz like their dad and uncle. I had to be honest with them that we won’t know if it takes for a 2 to 4 weeks. The next question really shocked and surprised me and Chase. They asked if there was another way to help be sure that their Uncle Tyler was the one who pozzed them. I asked if they really wanted to know who their poz father was or just leave it to chance. They gave us a very strong argument when they pointed out that I was the one who infected their real dad and if I passed on my bug to them then I would be their poz dad. They could then call me dad (instead of Uncle Tyler). Then their dad and I would both be their fathers. I didn’t even have to look over to Chase to know what he was thinking. He grabbed a couple of the empty points, a tourniquet and came to where I was standing. He expertly drew enough blood to fill each one about 75%. Then we each approached a twin with a (well) prepared point and the point filled with my poz blood. We let the boys know that with my blood, there would be no doubt who their poz dad was. As we prepped the boys for their injections we let them know that we have invited a number of friends (along with the guys that work for us) to take a turn fucking each of them. They were about to be gang banged till their holes were dripping with all the cum they could hold. The tourniquets were placed tightly on each twin’s bicep, alcohol was rubbed over a couple good veins, then the points were both inserted and we were sure that we were in the vein good before we first emptied the blood then the Tina into each twin. These slams were strong and we planned to follow them up shortly after the twins were well into their rush. When the tourniquets were pulled off the boys they both began a strong coughing fit as we again rubbed their chest helped them ride to the other side. We knew they were ready when the twin I had slammed looked up to me and said he needed his hole filled with as much cock as we had for them. I walked over to the other twin and asked if he too needed his hole filled like his brother said. He looked up at me cross eyed (I’m sure the slams were affecting the twins eye sight) and answered, ‘Fuck yeah Daddy Tyler, I need cock in me too!” Chase opened the door and the steady stream of guys came in along with 4 hand cameras. As the guys came into the room some of them were already smoking Tina, had slammed earlier, or (like me and Chase) needed to slam before we started the gang bang. The only thing Chase and I needed to do before we slammed ourselves was to give each twin their added slam (along with more of my blood). Before we knew it there was a guy between each twin’s restrained legs. We had given instructions to the guys earlier that the twins were not to be fucked until they begged for it proper. While each twin was receiving an expert rim job we administered their second slam along with my blood mixed in to the point (since these slams were nowhere as big as the ones they had gotten moments earlier). The twins were begging for their asses to be stuffed with cock so that each one was finally impaled as we were about to administer their slams. The boys had no clue what we were doing as they each had a nice size cock thrusted balls deep then held there as we approached, quickly tied off each twin’s arm then quickly administered the slams. When the boys began coughing for a second time the guy whose cock was buried in their ass began fucking. The sensation of a coughing bottom along with the slight jump in temperature must have felt incredible because they didn’t seem to last that long (plus I knew a number of our guests were saving their cum for our boys). Mean while, Chase and I stood near the twins so they could watch (if they were able to see) us administer our own slams. We weren’t slamming that much, enough to carry us through the gang bang. Every guy that came to fuck the twins took a turn in each boy’s ass. There were comments as to which twin had the better hole. But when it came down to it, they were identical twins and had exactly the same hole to fuck

I've been busy getting fucked and fucking, and having lots of fun in the process. I'm always upfront about my HIV status, undetectable. While some guys are turned off, others are turned on by the fact I'm poz and that I prefer bareback to rubbers. This is particularly true of straight guys - for some reason I can't figure out. Of course I'm perfectly happy to fuck-around with straight guys, 'cause a horned up straight guy is one filthy fucker and I LOVE fucking straight arse and getting fucked by straight cock. Don't get me wrong. I love being gay, and love fucking with gay guys, and of course, wouldn't have it any other way, but there's something about a horned up straight man who wants cock that just gets me going. On this occasion nothing was biting on Grindr. My profile is upfront about wanting only bareback sex, and that I'm a member of the poz tribe. As has often crossed my mind, this could be a mistake, but then a guy sent me this message: "Hey, nice profile." "Thanks," I replied. We exchanged additional messages, and then he sent me a pic of himself: 6'3", big chest, big legs, big body, and a fucking nice cock. He was apparently a laborer 'cause he was in some sort of uniform, and when he dropped his paint-covered cargo trousers and shirt, I was hot to trot. And, as usual when I see a guy who is bigger than my size, my inner bottom came out. Well, he wanted to play. He acknowledged being married, but still he liked to play with guys. As I love to play with married guys, eventually we met. Our initial get together was strictly a 'suckin' event'. He came in, stripped, and watched porn while I sucked him. But oh, the the kissing! He kissed me when he walked through the door, murmuring he was gonna make love to me, and leave me aching for his cock. I begged him to fuck me, but he only replied "We'll see." He insisted on bareback porn, with an emphasis on breeding. Understandably he loved Treasure Island Media and, as I blew him and he clearly was turned on 'cause he grunted "Fuck that bareback porn is hot. Bet all the dirty bastards all have fuckin' AIDS," and as his cock throbbed in response to his observation. Then he began face-fucking me, gagging me in the process. And I loved it. Eventually he shot his load down my throat, and then made me kiss him. By this time I was involuntarily dripping precum, so he made me wank off, blowing my load on his cock, and then demanded I lick all of it off. All the while he announced I was a "...dirty infected poz pig," and additionally commented that I was to worship his straight cock. I was totally into taking care of him, and when he left, I was spent. The next time we got together the routine was similar: porn, sucking, and he tells me how dearly he wants to fuck me. I begged for him to fuck me, but he replied cryptically 'maybe'. Then he asked if I had any toys, so I produced a couple of dildos, and he ended-up fucking me with my own dildo as I sucked him. When he came he was banging my throat so hard I was hoarse afterwards. Then he ordered me to kiss him with the cum then pushes me on my back and fucks me with my dildo while he wanked me off. He fucks my ass so hard the dildo was pink with traces of blood, and when I came, he wiped the dildo on my balls and again described me as 'a dirty poz pig'. The third time he comes it's more of the same...I beg to get fucked. He says "no, you infected pig" he strips, porn,suck, fucking my face and fingers my hole before inserting the dildo. He orders me not to swallow his cum this time though. He cums eventually and my jaws are aching. He orders me to kiss him and transfer the cum to his mouth. I dutifully oblige loving the experience of his salty cum and kissing him. I give him his cum back. He pushes me away, pulls my dildo out, spits the cum on the dildo and fucks me as he reaches for lube and lubes my cock "sniff poppers" he says as he dildo fucks me with his cum and begins to wank me. "Yeah you're begging for my cum in you aren't you you infected pig. You aint gonna get it. I'm not taking your toxic gay virus." I spunk in seconds, he leans down, licks it all up and spits it in my face before kissing me deep and long. God I am in heaven The fourth time was today. "Wear a jock" he ordered me before he arrived "and have your hole lubed" . Im assuming more dildoing. I obey. He walks in. Immediately he feels down for my hole as he kisses me. He doesn't usually do this. He strips and his fucktool is already hard. "suck me" he orders and I do. And the facefucking starts but slower this time. He sits down on an armchair to watch porn and my cock remains clamped on him from him standing to him sitting. "slow deepthroat me" he says. I do. the dildos are ready. "We wont be needing those today" he says. My heart sinks. I want this guy to top me so fucking bad. I am on my knees as he reaches down, and fingers me. First one then two fingers go in. He says "I bet you wish you were being bred and pozzed like those guys in the porn" I groan acknowledgement and he pushes my throat right down on his cock while a third finger goes up my hole and I squirm. He pulls fingers out and slaps my arse, hard. I yelp and make to take my mouth off his cock and he just forced my head on his tool and his fingers back up my hole. "Popper up" he orders. I do. "turn around" he says "on your knees facing the tv and porn"I do. And then I feel his hands on my shoulders, and his cock goes straight up my lubed arse. I yelp and pull away and he pulls me back onto his cock, hard. "There you go fucker, you wanted my bareback cock up your aids riddled mancunt didn't you. Well you got it now. Take it like the bitch you are gonna be for me" and this big man starts fucking my like a piston and holding me. He bends over and bites my neck "I'm marking you so your boyfriend can see I own your arse now, fucker." I am yelping in pain and moaning in pleasure at the same time "talk to me cunt" he orders " I love your cock, itsso fucking hard" as it bangs against my prostate and he fucks harder and harder. He fucks and starts to wank me before pulling my balls. He pulls my waist and pulls back. He basically picks me off the floor - and I'm not small, 6foot, work out, 14 stones and he pulls me to sit on his cock as he sits on the armchair and basically lifts me up and down on his fucktool and tells me to bounce. I do. He moans and fucks harder and grabs me. I'm dripping pre cum by this time. He fingers my cock and takes my precum, inserting two fingers plus his cock in me. I moan again "Turn round and sit on my cock and face me" he orders. I do. I sit on his cock and his hands lift my thighs up and down and he's fucking me "big weightlifting legs " he says "still a fucking bottom though. So much for the vers it says on your profile. You are a bottom when I am around" he says. His hard cock is rubbing against my prostate. He begins to fuck harder and hard and faster. He's gone bright red and is kissing me while I grab the back of the armchair and he's fucking (I love this position.) "Play with my balls, play with my balls" he says as he grabs mine and yanks with one hand, pulling my nipple with another as I bounce up and down to meet his legs going up and down like made. I each behind me and grab his balls" "harder cunt" as he kisses me I grab them harder. "you are gonna be an addict for me" he pants. He fucks harder. He starts to grunt, groan, breathe harder and puff. He keeps going. I am dripping pre cum like no tomorrow. "Im gonna cum" he says and pulls me down on his cock so hard I gasp. And he groans "Oh fuck, I'm cumming" and thrusts "take my fucking raw load you cunt" and he shoots and shoots and I can feel his cock throb. We kiss, I'm in love with this mans dick and when he subsides he pushes me hard and I fall on the floor. Up my hole goes three fingers "yeah your poz fuckhole is filled with my cum" and wanks me and kisses me. He turns around and straddles my face as he puts his now slightly softening cock in my mouth "suck my cock clean fucker." I obey and he closes his lips round mine. I am so close now and am desperate for this guy to be back in me. He starts to piss in my mouth. A trickle. I know I have to drink "I didn't tell you? I'm fucking poz too. And I'm not on meds, so you've just had my toxic strain, cunt. And will take it every week from now till I get fed up with you" That did it for me. I moaned, bucked and jerked, cumming in his mouth. I couldn't hold back. After my balls were drained, I collapsed on my back, only to have him kiss me, and in the process, snowball all my cum into my mouth. This guy had me hooked. I was utterly exhausted. "I think I'm in lust with you" I commented as I rested in in his arms. "Nah, you're gonna love me and you will be my bitch." And I know he's right. Then he commented "You can top other guys, and in fact, you'll probably need to for your top side 'cause you'll never top me." "What about your wife?" I asked. "Oh you're not as good as her" he replied, "...but you will be." "You do her raw?" "Yup. In fact, she picked it up first," he answered with pride. I was totally spent "That bruise is looking good" he commented, admiring my love bite, and then added "Your boyfriend's gonna need some explanations." Then he told me the date next week when we would get together, and advised me to be ready.

#3. Jason I had managed to drift off a bit, into a liminal state between wakefulness and sleep, where my mind was able to wander and to imagine what was would happen the rest of the afternoon. I was interrupted by a light knock on the door. It shocked me back to the present reality. "Ready?" Nathan asked, but the door was still closed. "Yeah," I said. I sat up on the side of the bed, and then shakily, I stood up, ready for my next man and my next breeding. The door opened, and a tall black man stepped inside. From the light spilling in from the hallway, I could see an impressive mane of dreadlocks hanging down his back. He was wearing a pair of grey sweatpants, and a black tank top. Even in the dim light of the bedroom, it easy to see that he was impressively muscular. "Hey," he said, as Nathan closed the door behind us. I had to look up to see his face. He had a wide smile and a bit of a goatee. He had definitely taken care of himself, but I still guessed that he was probably in his early 40s. He was starting to show his age: his goatee was dark but was flecked with bits of grey. Plus, as I looked closer, I saw that his dreads also had bits of grey. The grey only re-enforced a quiet confidence about him, he knew his place in the world and he had the strength to assert it. "Hi," I said. "I'm Jason." I felt very small next to him, almost vulnerable, especially wearing just the thin jockstrap. He smiled. "I know," he said. "I'm Eli." He took a small backpack off, and put it on the floor next to the bed. In a surprisingly smooth motion, he pulled off his tank top, flipping his dreadlocks over his shoulder and down his chest. His chest was just as muscled as his arms, and the dreads hung all the way down to just below his waistband. "Having a good afternoon?" he asked. "Yeah, I am." I said. On a dark street, I'd be trying to avoid him, but in the intimate setting of a bedroom, he seemed surprisingly calm and easy-going. "Uh, Intense, but also very fun," I said. "That's what I want to hear, white boy,” he said. He took off a watch and put it on the bed table, then kicked off his sneakers. He reached into his backpack, and pulled out a glasses case, just like Sean's earlier in the day. "You party?" he asked me. "Yeah, I do. Did some earlier today," I had a warm flush race over my body. I was already anticipating the rush of the drugs. "Good," he said. "But now it's time for us to share a bowl." He pushed down his sweatpants, exposing very tight pair of white underwear. I tried not to stare; it was literally the biggest basket I had ever seen. I wondered how I was going to be able to take it all in either my mouth or ass. Through the tight fabric, I could see a fat, long shaft seemingly wrapped around his hip. In addition, he had heavy balls that were pressed against his underwear. He pretended not to notice my stare, and sat down on the bed. He motioned for me to sit next to him. I sat down, feeling the warmth of his body so close to mine. Only then did he open the case and pull out the glass pipe with a fat bag of tina. He loaded up the bowl with the drug, carefully measuring out far more than I thought we would need. "Don't want to try to reload it with my hands covered in lube," he said, grinning. He had a brilliant white smile, greatly enhanced by the contrast with his rich, dark skin. I tried to focus on him filling the pipe, but my attention kept on shifting between the pipe, his muscular chest and arms and most of all, his massive basket. "That should be just about enough for me, I think," he said. I looked at the pipe, and there was a huge pile of crystal in it. He dug into the bag again, and added several more big shards. "And just a bit for you." He took a torch and started to heat the bowl, melting the mound of drugs. "You first," he continued. "Guys always seem to need a bit of help to handle me." He twitched his cock; even through the underwear I could see exactly how big it was. He handed me the pipe, and I put the stem in my mouth. He continued to hold the torch and it wasn't much longer before the pipe began to sputter and smoke. I took a long hit, filling my lungs with the thick smoke. "Don't skimp on it," he said, urging me ever onwards. "Nathan says you're pretty much a virgin, to both partying and getting fucked. So you need to get loaded. In both senses." Even after he took the torch away from the bowl, it still filled up with the smoke a few more times. Under Eli's watchful eyes, I made sure I got every bit of the drug. "Good job. Now, shotgun it to me," he said. I turned to him and he opened his mouth. Our lips locked while I exhaled my hit into his lungs. He surprised me, holding the kiss for longer than needed. His tongue started to explore my mouth. His free hand wrapped around me, and he pulled me closer. I didn't expect this closeness from such a man. Pressed tight up against him, I could tell his body was solid; he was all muscle and not a bit of fat. "Oh fuck, that's good," he said as he exhaled my hit. "That first one is always the best, don't you think?" I just nodded in agreement, and handed him the pipe. "The second hit doesn't suck either," I said, as he put the pipe in his mouth and started to heat it up again. Still warm, it didn't take long for the bowl to begin smoking again. He puffed on the pipe much longer than I did, rolling it back and forth on the torch and letting the bowl really fill up each time, before sucking the white clouds into his lungs. He held the hit for a while as he handed me the pipe and torch. "Your turn," he said, letting only the slightest bit of the cloud escape. Greedily, I took the stem and started to smoke it. I kept the torch on it, but I hardly needed it to get a good hit. "Here's some extra for you," Eli said. He exhaled his hit right into my face, engulfing my head with a thick white cloud. Even though he was only a few inches from me, I could barely seem him through the dense smoke. As Eli's cloud slowly dissipated, I finished up my own hit, and let the torch go out. The drug hit my system quickly, and it was clear that Eli's source was very good. This was some potent tina. His cock was going to be a real challenge, but with the powerful drug fueling me, I knew it would be an incredibly fun ride. I held my hit as long as I could and then exhaled. The familiar feeling of horniness was hitting me. I wanted to get Eli naked, explore his body and most of all feel that massive cock in my hungry, needy hole. "My turn," he said, taking the pipe from me. I could see that we were nowhere near exhausting the pipe; there was still a big pool of crystal at the bottom of the bowl. While Eli heated up the pipe again, I wondered if he was planning to smoke the entire thing during his short visit with me. I was definitely nearing the limit for my drug use; I didn't know what I would do or how I would behave if I smoked any more. Eli seemed to have no such concerns as he sucked down on the pipe, carefully letting the bowl re-fill several times. "Ready?" he asked me, as he pulled the stem out. I nodded and exhaled, ready for him to shotgun his hit. He leaned in, forced his mouth against mine, and blew his hit into my lungs. Compared to Eli's lungs, I could barely take much from him. He filled me up far before he had gotten close to finishing exhaling. We continued the kiss and I ran my hands over his smooth, muscular chest. There was just a hint of hair leading down from his navel, disappearing into his tight white underwear. I ran my finger along the waistband, wondering what was hidden behind the taut fabric. "You wanna smoke my other pipe, boy?" he asked me, as he exhaled the last of his hit. "Yeah, I do," I said. I was a bit scared of the sheer size of his bulge, but knew that his size was the least of the dangers that Eli presented to me. "Can I?" I asked. "Of course," Eli said. "Isn't that what you're here for? Sucking my cock and making me feel good." He stood up, and pushed down his briefs. I nearly gasped when I saw what he had been packing: a fat, thick, long, cut black cock. It was the largest cock I had ever seen and it wasn't even hard yet. At the base hung two large balls. Somehow, Eli had managed to slip a metal cockring on. It pushed his equipment out and further emphasized just how well endowed he was. "Yeah, I know. It's a monster,” he said, noticing how I was staring. "Isn't it?" "Yeah," I said, almost speechless at his endowment. Coupled with his easy-going masculinity, he was like an ebony god. Eli sat back down on the bed, his legs spread wide. "Gotten anyone else this big today?" "No one as big as you today. Or ever." "All white boys today?" he asked me. "Yeah," I said. Suddenly, I wanted his black cock in me. I wanted it because it was big, because it was hard, and most of all, because it was black. It was the ultimate transgression, the mixing of the races. "That's too bad," Eli said. "Come on, Jason," he said, "Kneel down and find out how good black cock can be. Show it some respect. Give my black mamba a kiss." He motioned for me to get between his legs. Mesmerized by his cock, I did what he told me to do. I got off the bed and knelt down between his legs. Like the rest of his body, his legs were solid blocks of muscle. I could imagine him closing them around me and crushing me easily. Leaning in to his groin, I let my nose fill with his scent. He smelled like a man should: a bit of sweat, a bit of musk, and a bit of dirt. It was almost as good as a hit of poppers. "Like it, huh?" he said. I looked up at him; he was flashing a brilliant white smile while waiting for me to take his cock into my warm mouth. Again, I didn't know what to say. I was drunk on his maleness and flying on his drugs. "Yeah," I finally managed. "Right on," Eli said. "One more hit for you, white boy. Then you can get to work and get me hard and wet." He held the pipe out for me to take. I rested my arms on his thick legs and he positioned the stem in my mouth. He also took care of the torch for me. He melted the crystal so that a beautiful wisp of white smoke escaped from the bowl. "Go ahead," he said, when the pipe was just right. "Hit it." I did my best. I wanted to impress him. I drained the bowl a few times and let my lungs fill up with the smoke. Finally I nodded, letting Eli know that I was more than satiated. I was right at the edge; another hit and I'd be too far-gone to control myself. But for now, I was at just the right place. All I could think about was getting him hard and getting him off. And finding out more about him: I wondered what his story was, and how he had joined this unique club of men, the band of men whose cocks could kill. "My turn with the glass cock," he said, as he took the pipe from my mouth. "And your turn on the black cock," he said as he pointed to his cock. "Go ahead, suck on it." I leaned in and took the head of his cock into my mouth. There was already a bead of pre-cum there for me to lick off. I had to be careful not to exhale any of the crystal smoke. I didn't want to waste any of it. While I started to get myself acquainted with Eli's cock, he watched me intently. I licked his head and then started on the shaft. "Nice, Jason," he said. "I like a boy that can hold his hit like that. You're gonna do just fine when you're choking on my shaft." With that, he put the pipe in his mouth and lit the torch. While he heated up the pipe, I stretched my mouth wide, and started by swallowing his cockhead. Even soft, he was more than a mouthful and I strained to get even just the head into my mouth. But it tasted so good. He was a delicious combination of sweat and pre-cum. I didn't care how hard it was going to be to take the entire thing. After a bit of effort, I was able to get his whole cockhead in my mouth. Eli was patient, doing his hit, but still moaning softly when I ran my tongue over his piss slit. While I could still breathe, I exhaled my hit and engulfed both of us in a thick white cloud. Eli finished doing his hit. He held the still-smoking pipe in one hand. "Take more of it, Jason," he said, resting his other hand on the top of my head and gently pushing me onto his cock. "It's feeling so good already." His challenge was clear, as was my goal: we both wanted me to deep throat his huge cock. Opening my mouth even more, it was easy to take an additional inch or so. But then his cockhead hit the back of my throat. I dreaded the next, necessary step. In response to the tina and my oral skills, Eli's cock grew longer, fatter, and harder. At first, he didn't get as long as I feared; his cock mostly got fatter as the blood rushed in and lengthening a bit. But, the downward curve in the middle got more pronounced, making it harder to work into my mouth. As I lavished more attention on it, his cock started to get longer. It was when I least expected it that it began to grow longer. A lot longer. Terrifyingly longer. It grew from nearly eight soft inches to a hard and enormous eleven inches. "It's big. I know." he said, exhaling his hit. "And the better you are, the bigger it gets." "Don't think you're near done," he said, before putting the pipe back in his mouth. I had got as much of his cock into my mouth as I could. The next step would be to let him invade my throat. It wouldn't be easy. But then, the entire day seemed to be about things that weren't easy, about things that scared me. This would be one more thing like that. His cock was hardly easy and more than just a bit scary. "Come on, Jason," he said, taking the pipe out of his mouth for a moment. "It's not going to deep throat itself." Eli flicked the torch and started to do another hit. I did my best to relax, finding the hiss of the flame strangely comforting. My mind was racing because the drugs, and the torch's white noise helped me to focus. I swallowed slightly, and forced myself further down onto his cock. "Oh, fuck. That's what I was looking for," Eli said, as his cockhead entered my throat. His shaft more than filled my narrow throat. As he started to press against my windpipe, Eli hit the glass pipe hard. He seemed to be mocking my inability to breath at all as he took in deep lungfuls of air mixed with the rich methamphetamine smoke. I was on the edge of gagging, but couldn't bear the thought of disappointing him by choking. Instead, I focused on the discomfort of his cock in my throat. I was the one letting him dominate me. I was the one who was eagerly swallowing his fat snake. I was the one who was choking on his black pipe. I was the one who was unable to breath. And I was the one whose cock was twitching at the entire experience. I kept on taking more of his cock down my throat and wondering if I would ever get to the base of his shaft. I had my eyes tightly closed, focusing on getting his entire dick into my throat. When I heard Eli exhale his hit, I opened my eyes just in time to see another big cloud of smoke drift down. Even though it felt like I was stuffed full of his cock, I could now see that it looked like I had barely taken any of it. I couldn't imagine how I was going to get the rest of his dick into my throat. At the base of his dick his close-trimmed pubic hair still seemed so far away. "Just relax, Jason. Other boys have taken it all. You'll take it all as well. I'm sure of it," he said. I wasn't clear if had made a prediction or given me a command. He rested an arm on the top of my head, pressing down on me. In response, another half inch of his cock slid into my throat. He leaned over and planted a kiss on the top of my head, as I suppressed the urge to gag again. "Great way to be spending the afternoon," he said. "Hot fucking white muscle boy sucking my cock while I get high. Only a few more inches for you to swallow, white boy." I closed my eyes again, and focused on the warmth of his shaft. It was gently pulsing in time with his heartbeat. I knew if I thought about how thick his cock was or how long it was, I would immediately start gagging. The warmth was something safer and easier to concentrate on. It reminded me how alive Eli was, how real this experience was, and how much we both needed it. My body was starved for air and my mind was filled with crystal, so was hard to focus on any one thing. This scattering of thoughts was a blessing in disguise, because my brain managed to turn the lack of focus into not just a desire for sex, but also a need for Eli's cock and especially his cock in my throat, my ass, and my body. I built up a world where the only way I would live was to take his entire shaft into me. Even though each small millimeter of his shaft stretched and scratched my throat, I took it. I had heard of cock worship before, and I knew with certainty that this was what I was now doing. Was this how a fundamentalist Christian thought of his relationship to Jesus? But instead of a mythical man who died for our sins, Eli was a very real man. A very real man whose semen carried the seeds of my own salvation. A very real man whose cock I was impaled on. "Right on Jason. Only a bit more to go," Eli said. I opened my eyes again, and saw that I had almost taken his entire cock. My throat was stretched wide. I wondered if his cockhead was already in my stomach. But I repressed those thoughts and instead concentrated on the good: on how he was going to give me a new life. A diseased life, yes, but a life without worry, a life without shame or fear, and most entrancing, a life with Nathan. While I worked the last half inch of his cock into my throat, Eli did another hit. As he puffed on his glass pipe, I took the last of his black pipe. My chin was right against his balls, his short pubic hairs were scratching my nose, and my mind was exploding in pride at having taken all of this dark god's manhood in my mouth. "Damn, boy. That's so fucking hot, seeing you choke down all of my cock," Eli said. He exhaled his hit, another big cloud. "Seems like you deserve a reward." He must not have exhaled all of the hit, since another cloud drifted down when he finished talking. "And I know just what you need to get ready for the next level." I wondered what he meant by the next level, but I had to focus on the living, pulsing snake inside of me. His cock was right at the edge of my abilities, and I didn't want to disappoint him. "That was amazing," he said, and started to gently lift my head off his cock. Even though pulling off his shaft was a lot faster than swallowing it, it still felt like it took forever. Whenever I thought I was almost done and waiting for his cockhead to pop back into my mouth, there was another inch with no satisfaction. Finally, the fat cockhead entered my mouth from my throat, and I could breath again. I gasped for air, staring at the glistening shaft in front of me. Still wet with my spit, it hung down from its own weight. I wanted to suck it again, to keep it hard and happy, and to get that hot and deadly reward. "Glass cock for you, now," Eli said. "I think I'm good," I said, but I still straightened up and got ready for the pipe. "You were very good at sucking my cock. But you can always do another hit of tina," he said, as he stuck the stem in my mouth. I didn't protest. Eli lit the torch, and heated up the bowl. I was surprised that there was still any crystal left in it, but the bowl quickly filled with the white smoke I didn't know I was craving. I inhaled, easily draining the bowl a few times in succession. "More," Eli said. I let the bowl fill up again, and then drained it again. "Still more," he said, and I repeated the process two more times. "Good enough," he said. Not wanting to disappoint the ebony god, I took a few more hits, until my lungs were nearly bursting. "Better," he said. "Now, hold it for me." As he had been feeding me the crystal, I had felt his cock brush against my chest, and knew that I'd do anything to feel him inside me once more. I did as I was told; holding the hit of crystal was such a small thing to do to make him happy. He leaned in. "Don't exhale before I tell you to," he said, before he locked lips and began to kiss me. With his mouth covering mine, I couldn't have exhaled even if I wanted to. Besides, he had told me not to exhale, and I needed to make him happy. Plus, I was enjoying the intimacy that he was willing to share by kissing me. That such a masculine, dominant man was willing to open himself up to another man was an unusual situation for me. He continued to probe my mouth as his hard cock rubbed up against my chest. I could barely contain myself; I wanted to jump on top of him, and feel his thick rod penetrate my hole. But I knew that would come soon enough. I did my best to restrain myself, despite the tina coursing through my veins. Breaking off the kiss just long enough to speak, he said, "Give me your hit." I exhaled into his mouth, and he sucked up my entire hit. I was glad to finally get a chance to breath again, but wondered how I would behave once the hit took effect. "Nice hit," he said, holding it in his lungs. He broke off the kiss, and stood up. His cock was level with my face, and I took the opportunity to lick off the head. "Not quite yet. But it's good you are an eager boy," he said, pulling me off his shaft. He turned around, and knelt on the bed. "First, lick my ass," he said, pushing his muscular cheeks right in my face as he exhaled the hit. Without thinking, I dove into his ass, licking his musky, sweaty hole. As I did it, he lit the torch and did another long hit. I pushed my tongue into his hole, feeling him open up for me. He moaned in pleasure as I probed his warm hole. It was a totally unexpected move from him, to let me lick, kiss and penetrate such a private part of his body. He was such a textbook example of a dominant top, but I would eventually let him enter and penetrate me and fulfill his own imperatives. As I licked his ass, he continued to suck on the pipe and filled his lungs. "Oh fuck," he said, "Don't stop." The torch went out, and I heard three more puffs on the pipe. I pressed my face deeper into his ass, my tongue pushing as far as I could into his tight hole. From how tight he was, it was clear it had been a long time, if ever, since he had taken a cock. And he had certainly never taken anyone as large as he was. I lost myself in his ass. His muscular ass cheeks pressed against my face, forcefully reminding me of my place in the world. I could taste the sweat and musk on his tight hole, reminding me what I was doing. I didn't mind; I was where I wanted and needed to be. I was kissing a god's ass. It wouldn't be long before this god rewarded my dedication to him with what he alone could provide me with that afternoon: a hard, deep, raw interracial fuck, ending with a thick load of this black stud's HIV-infected sperm. As I probed, explored and pleasured Eli's ass, he continued to hit the pipe, heating the bowl, drawing a hit, holding it, and then exhaling it slowly. Given my position, I took the opportunity to reach around his waist and grab his now-hard cock. It was still wet and slippery enough from my blowjob; it was just slippery enough for me to easily stroke it, even if it was so thick it was hard for me to wrap my hands around it. "Oh damn, boy," Eli moaned between hits. "That's what I need. Lick my ass and stroke my cock." I wanted him inside me. Although the two men were completely different, I couldn't help but think of Nathan. Each of them epitomized a particular model of masculinity and used it to command obedience and respect. Nathan was the perfect example of an understated, mature man, confident in knowing what he wanted and certain that he would get it. In the wild associations of my drugged-out mind, I pegged him as almost British. In contrast, Eli was brash, almost loud about his masculinity. His manhood was wrapped in muscle, swagger, and the unerring knowledge that he could take anyone in a fight. For either one of them, I wanted to be their bottom and was overjoyed at letting them satisfy their needs with my body. Now it was my turn to moan. "Please, Eli. Fuck me," I said, while I licked his tight, unsullied asshole. Once I had formed the mental image of his cock sliding into my hole, complete with his heavy balls dripping their sweet and deadly pre-cum into my body, it was hard for me to imagine any other pleasure. I wanted him to fuck me, fuck me hard, fuck me deep, and finally breed my hole. I knew it was going to happen, but now I couldn't wait. I needed to be penetrated, and I was hungry for more sperm--his sperm--in my hole. "Got that itch now, don't you, white boy?" he asked me. "That tina finally kicking in for you, huh?" He had put down his pipe, and was enjoying me rimming him. He got off his arms, and turned around on the bed. Because of his new position, I couldn't rim him any more, but now had a close-up view of his cock. He handed me the pipe and torch. "One more hit for you, boy," he said. I knew better than to protest, even though between Sean and Eli, I had done more than enough. I was worried about doing more. I worried that I'd loose control and end up going further than I had ever planned. I took the pipe, and saw that even after all we had smoked, there was still plenty of the drug left in the bowl. Despite my misgivings, I forced myself to light the torch. I heated up the bowl, getting ready for the hit. As a few wisps of smoke started to escape from the pipe, I inhaled and drained the bowl. "If you want to take this," Eli said, grabbing his cock and giving it a good shake. "You're going to want to do that. And a lot more than just that." I didn't doubt him; it was a big cock he had. I drained the bowl a few more times, then held the cloud in my lungs for as long as I could. Eli took the pipe from me, and set it on the bed table. In exchange, he grabbed the lube and poppers. "Don't pass out there, white boy," he said, as he finally gave me permission to exhale. I looked up at him; he was looking down at me, his dreads had fallen over his shoulder and were hanging down his chest. "Go ahead," he said, his brilliant white teeth flashing against his dark skin. I smiled and he nodded; his dreads bounced against his taut skin and then hit me in the face. Surprised by the sudden contact, I exhaled and the white smoke momentarily obscured his dark skin, and hid his black cock. I was now totally lost in the high, not caring about anything but pleasure. He reached down, grabbed me by my shoulders and roughly threw me onto the bed. "You'll need these," he said and tossed the poppers by my head. As he forced my legs apart, I remembered that he had said "need," not want" about the poppers. I did a quick hit. He grabbed my hips and pushed them up, so that my ass was level with his cock. I was now on all fours with him kneeling behind me. We were in a perfect position for the long-awaited anal pounding to begin. He was fully erect and ready; I could feel his cockhead rubbing up against my ass. And I was itching for a fucking, but still wasn't sure if I could take his massive cock. "Go slow," I asked him. "I've not been fucked much before." "I go at my pace, boy," he replied. "But don't worry. You'll love every second." He poured some lube on my ass, and stuck two fingers into me. "You've got a tight white hole. Gonna feel fucking good opening it up with my fat black cock," he said. He added a third finger, and just as I got used to the three, he inserted a fourth. I knew that asking him give me a chance to get used to it would probably be futile, so I opened the poppers and did a hit. "Maybe a bit slower?" I tried. "Right on. That will open you up good, Jason." I think it was the first time he had used my name that afternoon. But there wasn't much time for me to think about it before the poppers hit, and I found myself pressing up against his hand, trying to get his fingers deeper into me. He slid them in and out a bit, letting me get used to it. "You hungry for it, boy? Want to get opened up by my monster?" He was more accurate than he knew in his description of my need for his cock. I was not just hungry; I was starving. The poppers were still in full force, not the mention the crystal. The two drugs answered for me. "Yes, please. Give it to me." He poured more lube on his cock and worked it into the length and girth of his shaft. I did another hit from the poppers; I knew I was going to need all the help I could get. Eli pressed his cockhead against my hole. My experience had been that big cocks rarely got very hard; Eli was definitely an exception. Even just his cockhead felt like he was trying to force a boulder into my hole. He kept one hand on my ass, guiding me down on his cock, while the other hand steered his shaft into my hole. Of course, he had to force the cockhead into me, in order to just open me up. But once he got in, he paused and allowed me to get used to his size and presence. Even through the all the enhancements I had done, he hurt. He hurt like a dull glowing poker was being rammed into me. He hurt like that very first hit of crystal, the one that had permanently opened my eyes. "Just relax," he said. He tightened his grip on my waist, letting me know not only that he was near me and ready for me, but also that he was holding me down, holding me in place. I couldn't squirm away from his cock, nor did I want to. I did my best to manage this dilemma, starting by taking another hit of poppers. Right when I thought I couldn't take it any longer, he pulled out. But the relief I imagined his absence would give me didn't come. I could still feel my muscles stretched and screaming, trying to close up around where his cock had been. He took the opportunity to squeeze more lube right into my hole, and the cold fluid finally brought me some respite by numbing some of the most painful sections of my ass. Before my hole could close completely back up, he slid his cockhead back into me. This time, the pain wasn't so intense and the pleasure almost obvious. He was able to press a few centimeters of his shaft into my hole. "Relax," he said. However, the details of trying to relax when I had a fat, hard cock stretching my ass open were far from easy. I did another hit of the poppers, and focused on how warm and alive his cock felt. Even if there was a rubber that fit Eli, I didn't think he could fuck me with a condom on. It was only the ability for each of us to feel the other so intimately and completely that even made his penetration of me possible. Eli was dripping pre-cum, which really helped lubricate his passage into my body. He would push in a bit, forcing me to open up, then pull back, and let me relax. Despite his outward swagger and bravado, the reality of the fuck was surprisingly slow and measured. After a few minutes of work with Eli pressing his cock into me, and me struggling to stay relaxed and open, we had gotten about a third of his cock into my hole. He paused. "How are you doing, boy?" he asked. "Good, actually," I answered. "I thought this was going to be a lot worse than it is." With the help of the drugs and my eager hole, I was opening up nicely for Eli. "As I said, the first time is always slow and easy." "It's good." Not only did it not hurt as much as I had feared, I was also finding a lot of pleasure in taking his big black cock. There was something deeply natural about this black stud forcing his raw cock into my white ass. It was natural that his thick black tube was dripping infected pre-cum into my vulnerable hole. I pushed back against his shaft, and felt another inch slide into me. "Not that bad, huh?" Eli said. He leaned over me and I felt the heat of his muscular body against my back. "Want more?" he whispered into my ear, his breath warm, moist and close. I nodded without ever thinking. I wanted all of his cock inside me. I wanted him to start pounding me. I wanted him to tell me who was the dominant man this afternoon, who was the one with the cock, who was the one who would force me to take his pre-cum deep, and who was the one that would shoot his load deep in my in my hole. He paused for an agonizing moment, while he poured a bit more lube on his cock and let it dribble into my hole. "You're doing great there, Jason," he said. "Fucking hot, seeing my black cock slide into your tight white hole." He thrust his hips, and I felt one more inch of his cock slide into me. I was getting used to being the bottom. While this might have once been too painful, all I could feel was the pleasure of my ass getting opened. "Almost there, boy. Just another few inches, and you'll be properly impaled on my cock." I took another hit from the poppers, and nodded my head for him to proceed. I was not just ready for it, but needed it. I needed it like I had never needed cock before He took my cue, and pushed further in. The next inch was surprisingly easy, but then his head hit something deep in my body. I gasped, and realized I had never been penetrated this deep before. "It's that last bit that's always the hardest," Eli said. "Deep breath. Long hit. And we'll drive it all the way home." I took a big breath, opened the poppers, and, as instructed, did a long hit. Eli stood still while I sniffed from the brown bottle. As I put them away, he gently rocked his cock back and forth, exploring just how deep he could go before the pain overcome the pleasure. He then waited for the poppers to hit me. "Please," I moaned, once again thinking only of the pleasure for my hole. He pushed in the rest of his fat cock. It still hurt, but it was much better; if he only gave me a few more minutes of gentle probing by his cock, I would be in pure heaven. "It's all the way in, boy. Balls deep in that hungry white hole." He pulled his cock out some, then pushed it back in. "So fucking tight. Going to be fun getting you opened up properly." "Opened up?" I asked. My sex-fogged mind wondered what he meant by that; I thought he had finished doing just that. He didn't say anything in reply. Instead, he slowly pulled out the entire length of his cock until only the cockhead remained in me. Then, he pushed it all back in, until his low-hanging balls were once again slapping against my ass. "Right. Opened up properly," he said. He continued to thrust in and out of my hole, slowly increasing both the force and the speed of the thrusts. "It can take a lot for me to get off." I did another hit from the poppers and relaxed while Eli continued to pound my hole. As he got in deep, there was still a bit of pain each time his thick head found some new stretch of virgin, untouched territory. But it was a manageable pain and a small price to pay for the glory of his massive cock fucking me properly. As he continued, his pace changed: his thrusts were slower but deeper. Eli leaned into me, forcing me onto my stomach and resting all of his muscular weight on me. His body was already warm and definitely sweaty from the fuck, alternately he would stick to me and then slide smoothly against my skin. I stopped trying to analyze my emotions and feelings, and just let the black man dominate me. "Having fun bro?" he asked. "Oh yeah," I said. The crystal was hitting me hard, and it was difficult to think coherently enough to even formulate that short response. All I wanted to do was feel cock in my ass, and especially a big, black, raw cock. "Breed me," I grunted. "Yeah?" he asked. "You want my poz load in you? Seed that tight, white, neg ass?" He was whispering this in my ear, his breath hot against my skin. When he was done speaking, he nibbled a bit on my ear. He could be both aggressive and tender. He let me know that he would do whatever he wanted whenever he pleased to my body. But at the same time, his teeth scraped the skin just enough to send an electric chill down my spine, ending right at the hole where his cock entered me. He knew exactly how he was making me feel. I had to focus on the cock inside me. Having something to concentrate on was useful. My mind was no longer racing from through to thought, and I once more contemplated my situation. A black man was fucking me raw and his huge cock was dripping a toxic mix of sperm, pre-cum and the deadly virus into my unprotected hole. The raw black cock was sliding smoothly in and out of my hole with each stroke, Eli pressed Sean and Jake's toxic juice deeper into my hole, and deeper into my body. He was bigger than any man I had taken before and each stroke found fresh stretches of my hole, stretches with no defenses against his attack. Eli grabbed my torso; despite my muscular build, I was small in his hands. He wrestled me onto my side, and then proceeded to flip me onto my back. He managed to keep his cock in my hole and barely paused his fucking of me. We had ended up face to face, and I found myself staring into his dark brown eyes. I was surprised to see how closely he was watching me. His eyes were darting all over my face, as he tried to discern the slightest change in my expression. Maybe it was just his black skin or perhaps it was the thick dreadlocks that were hanging over his shoulder hanging onto my chest, but it seemed like he was from a very different world than Nathan, Sean, Jake or myself. It was a harder world and a more complex one. Finally, I decided to break the silence. I wanted to know more about him. "How long you been poz?" I asked. "About three years now. It's a long story." He didn't sound like he meant it dismissively, just that he wasn't sure if I would be interested in his tale. "I think you've already made your choice," he said. He leaned in and kissed me. Even though we had kissed while shotgunning the crystal, it was a surprising move. He was still so dominant and controlling. But now it was different. Like the saying went, it wasn't gay if you didn't kiss. And he had kissed me. "Yeah, I guess I have," I said. "But I want to know about you." My statements and Eli's sudden kiss changed the energy in the room. Eli's fucking slowed down even further. He was taking longer and deeper strokes, no longer using me just as a hole to get off in. Instead, he now actively wanted to be inside me and to use his cock to give me pleasure. Eventually, he would use it to give me his load, something we both craved. He rubbed his goatee against my cheek, and then licked my ear. "Then you'll get the story," he said, going in for a particularly deep stroke with his cock. "I didn't get to make the choice you're making. It was forced on me." "Would you do it again?" I asked. "I don't know. I hated rubbers. I still hate them. Of course, they never fit me. I like skin-to-skin fucking. And I fucking love to party and play." He had nearly pulled his cock out of my hole, and took the opportunity to slide it back in. "Plus getting to breed a guy. That can't be beat. But it's not all easy. Being poz. Especially if you can't get used to the drugs." I had been slowly stroking my cock, enjoying the fuck. It was hard for me to believe that something that felt this good and natural wasn't good. But I knew that most of my rational mind had been suppressed. Suppressed first by my desire for Nathan, then suppressed by the crystal, and finally suppressed by this big black cock. I was now being driven by my need for pleasure. Crystal, cock cum, and virus were my only goals, and although I was aware of the all the risks I was taking, it didn't make much of a difference to me. I could never ask Nathan to wear a condom to fuck me. And I never wanted to wear a condom if I got to fuck Nathan. Sean, Jake and Eli were not much easier to ask. To deny them the pleasure of fucking me raw, the pleasure of breeding me, the pleasure of letting their virus live on in my body seemed like a denial of all that was important about desire and all that was important about desire between two men. "I want you to breed me," I said. "Good thing, white stud, because you weren't going to get a choice there." Once I had the pleasure of getting bred, I had taken all the loads willingly. But I was also glad that Eli didn't want to give me a choice. Today, of all days, getting bred had to be both something I gave up of my own free will and something that was taken from me. I urgently needed Eli to mark me, and I certainly didn't want him to give any way out. Not that he would take it. His weight pressing against my legs was forcing them apart. That alone told me who was in charge here. It also let his cock get deep into my hole, which further drove home the fact just how well I was getting fucked. And how little input I had in the decision at all. "I made my choice a while ago," I said. "Lucky man," Eli said. "You had a choice. And you'll be getting some damn potent cum. I'm not on meds right now." "You're not?" Suddenly he had become much scarier. And much sexier. I knew that his cock was a loaded pistol. But it was a game of Russian roulette. I didn't know if he chamber I got would have any virus. But with Eli, every chamber was loaded. And that was exactly what I craved. "Nope," he said, very matter-of-fact. "Bad reaction to the last one. And my numbers aren't so bad to make me want to get back on." "That means..." I trailed off. "Yeah. A proper poz fucking." He smiled, slammed his cock deep into me, and then continued. "I came very late to fucking men. I had a girlfriend, did what I thought I was supposed to do." He had started telling his story, about how he became poz. "Yeah, I'd occasionally jerk off with a guy in the gym steam room. Sometimes, if I was really horny, I'd cruise the park and get a blow job" He continued, explaining how he had found the Internet and the entire DL culture. Of course, it had been easy for him. A masculine, hung top was always in demand and the bottoms would do anything to please him. And, no one was gay, so everyone was clean. Condoms were never needed. Or even discussed. But then it got harder for him to hide. His girlfriend started to ask difficult questions. "I was having a lot more sex. And we were having a lot less sex," he told me, his balls pressed tight against my ass. "She tried to spice things up for us, getting stuff like toys and restraints. It didn't do much for the amount of sex she was getting, but the boys I picked up loved them. And then, finally, what was going to be just a no-strings trick got complex. Far more complex." "How so?" I asked. When he walked in and undressed, I had put him in a category of big dick, little depth, but now he was becoming someone real. I wondered how Nathan had met him; wondered if Eli had ever fucked Nathan. Or maybe if Nathan had even gotten to fuck him. Nathan was the type of man who could do that, convince the pure top to take a cock. Eli continued; he story still hadn't even gotten to the point where he had caught the bug. "Oh, it wasn't just plain fucking anymore. Javi and I would hang out together. We'd go drinking, then one or the other was always 'too drunk to drive' and would have to spend the night. Sharing a bed. Hell, I even started to kiss Javier when I was fucking him." He leaned in and kissed me; his tongue forced itself deep into my mouth. Even though he had just wrapped his arms around me, his tongue was jammed deep in my mouth, and his massive cock was splitting me in two, I was suddenly jealous of Javi. I was jealous that the two had been able to explore their feelings more deeply. I was jealous that they had been able to discover what turned them on and made their cocks hard and their asses itch. I was jealous that they had discovered what made them happy even after Eli had drained his balls into Javi. "And?" I asked. So far, this story didn't seem that bad. "Well, I was still leading a double life. Fucking around with guys, while still supposedly straight with a girlfriend. And by then, I wasn't just fucking around with Javi, but still lots of other guys. From online. Steam rooms at the gym. Cruising the park at night. Fucking every piece of hot ass I could find." He paused in his story. It was long enough for him to throw his dreads over his other shoulder. "You know Sean?" he asked me. "One of Nathan's boys?" "Yeah, I do now. You're fucking his cum into me." I tried not to think about Sean as "Nathan's boy." I wanted to be that boy so badly. "The bastard," he said, although he was still smiling. "Always gets to the hot ass first. Almost as bad as Nathan. But I should have guessed he'd be one of the guests of honor." I knew it was pointless, but I tried to force myself to remember to ask Nathan about Sean. I was so high I could barely keep track of where I was and who was barebacking me. Remembering to ask Nathan about someone several hours from now was going to be nearly impossible. "I met him online. It was late, Javier and I were horny, and he was eager to get fucked." "And?" "He came over. He had a bag of tina, and a pipe. That was the first night I had ever done it. Crystal that is. And of course, I loved it. So did Javi. I nearly got fucked that night, I was so high." "But?" "Nope. Never been fucked. Ever." I had gotten my answer about Nathan. His cock was hard inside me, reminding me that he was the top today. As he always was. "Even high on crystal, I'm still 100% top. Except when I bottom." He paused for a moment and adjusted his position. "Javi, Sean and I started to play pretty regularly there, at least for a while. Then one night, Sean invited another guy over." "Nathan?" I asked. I already knew that it was Nathan, but I asked anyway. It made me feel close to Nathan that I was getting fucked by the same guy who had fucked him. I wanted the same sperm that had been inside of Nathan to be inside of me. "Yeah. You fucked him yet?" "Not yet." "Too bad. You're in for a treat. He's got an amazing ass. Anyway, the four of us ended up at a sex club that night. First time I had been to one. And I was like thirty-eight! Like a kid in a candy store -- we were all naked, sharing a room, doing lines of tina and I was getting to fuck everybody I saw." He continued. "We must have been there for 36 hours or something. I lost track of time and how many guys I stuck my cock in to." "Sounds fun," I said. I figured that Nathan and Sean had been poz by then. I wondered if Eli got to fuck them raw. But he always fucked raw. And high on crystal, of course they were barebacking. "Yeah. Took me a few days to recover from that. And almost as soon as I had recovered from the crystal crash, I came down with a wicked case of the flu." "That what I think it was?" "I still don't know for sure. But yeah. A few weeks later, Javi got sick as well. We'd been fucking the entire time. And fucking raw. Javi got tested first." "Poz?" I asked. "Of course. Then I got tested. Poz as well." "How did it feel? To be poz?" "Scary, of course. I was still occasionally fucking my girlfriend. And of course, we never used rubbers, since she was on the pill. And I was still hiding all of the sex I was having with guys. There were a lot of guys to hide. And a hell of a lot of sex. But it was liberating. I didn't worry about sex any more. All bareback. All the time. Javi and I would get tweaked up, go to a bathhouse or sex party, and fuck every bottom we could find." "Like me?" I asked. "Oh fuck yeah. Especially white muscle bottoms. Had you been there, I'd have fucked you into next week." He slammed his cock into me again, letting know just how forceful he could be. I realized that so far today, he had been holding back on me. As he pounded me harder and deeper, he was also getting more intimate and close. Part of this was just him telling me about his life, how he had come out, started partying and then gotten pozzed up. But, the crystal was also important in helping us get to this point. However, most critical thing was the act of having sex, the act of barebacking. The act of me letting him insert a part of his body into my, and sharing the closeness was it. If there had been any barrier at all, even just a thin rubber sheath between us, it would have been different. It would have been an impersonal and unpleasant intrusion into my body, more a medical procedure than sex. Him sharing his cock and story with me was nothing short of magical. "You really want my seed?" he asked. "My bugged up sperm?" "Yeah, I do," I said. "Absolutely. You think you got it from Nathan? Or someone else." I wasn't sure which one I wanted the answer to be. I wanted to be closer to Nathan in any way that I could. But there was an itch also driving my desires and actions. I wanted more loads, from more guys. I wanted as much as I could get. I wanted every load to be infected, every load carrying a different strain. Every load would have evolved through so many varied and diverse men, until finally it reached me and infected me. "You're way spun, aren't you?" he asked. "Yeah, I am." I had to agree -- I don't think I had ever been that high before. "Hot," he said. "Something really satisfying about shooting my poz load in a tweaked up white bro." He slammed his cock in and out, letting me feel every veiny inch of his massive tool. "Then watching them try to keep my toxic sperm in their holes. You going to hold it for me, boy?" "Yes, of course man." It just seemed appropriate for Eli to hold his cum as long as I could. It was appropriate for every man. "Good boy. Tell me what you want again." "I want your jizz. I want your infected, HIV-laden sperm." I lost any sense of personhood, and was begging him for his dirty cum. "Please, man. Give it to me, Eli." Eli's thrusts were getting harder, more intense, and as impossible as it seemed, I felt his cock firm up and lengthen in my hole. I knew he was getting close. "Please, man. Breed me. FUCKING BREED ME MAN," I begged him. "Yeah, boy, take my dick scum," he moaned, as he slammed his cock into my hole. Deep inside my body, his cock pulsed and pumped, and I got the start of another load of sperm shot right in my hole. That was only the first spurt of several; as his orgasm continued his cock continued to pump out shot after shot of thick, white cream. As his ejaculate filled my hole, it lubricated each of his thrusts. The slippery hole let him fuck me harder, which, in turn, made him cum more. It seemed like several minutes passed before this virtuous cycle of sexual escalation finally came to a halt. His balls were totally drained. "Fuck yeah, boy. I needed that. And I think you needed it as well." "Of course. Thank-you Eli," I said. He collapsed on top of me, his sweaty, muscular body pressed against me. He moved around and started to kiss me. "My pleasure, boy," he said, between deep kisses. "We should do this again soon." We lay there, together, his still-hard cock in my ass, his tongue in my mouth, and we could enjoy each other fully. I was happy and had long ago stopped worrying about the time. Eventually, his cock softened more, and it popped out of my hole. He shifted slightly in order to look at his watch. "Damn. Need to get going." "Too bad. That was nice. Really nice." I wanted Nathan to come in, and join us. I wanted Nathan to watch me get fucked by Eli, then have Nate slide his cock into my spermy ass. I wanted Sean to join us, and add another load from his cock. And I wanted all of us to share the pipe, and then start another intense round of breeding my tender, negative hole. "Well, Nathan knows how to find me," he said. He lifted himself off of me. I was about to get up, but he put a hand on my lower back. "Stay there. I want you to keep my swimmers inside you." I didn't need to be told twice, but still turned my head so I could watch him get dressed. The most difficult step seemed to be him forcing his still-firm cock into the too-small pouch of his underwear. Once that was done, he dressed quickly, throwing on his sweats and tank top. "Be good. Or have fun. And take some pictures for me," he said. "But I bet Nathan has that covered." He obviously knew about Nathan and the cameras. Eli gathered up his various supplies, party and otherwise and put them in his backpack. "See you soon, I hope," I said. He quietly slipped out the door, leaving me in the dimly lit room. I had only his massive load in my ass to remember him by.