tallslenderguy

This happened in 1998, i hope no such thing would happen in this day and age. Straight people 'cruise' each other all the time, pick up each other in bars, etc. You don't find vice cops at straight bars busting straight people for asking each other if they want to have sex, only if money is involved. It's just an example of anti gay laws and those who love them. Honestly, i think it's insane that it could happen even in 1998.

What offends me is the utter fantasy land so many seem to live in when it comes to STI's, and the fantasy is, ironically, often mixed with a superior attitude It's as though some think the facade is armor, as effective as science. As has been pointed out, readily available scientific information does not mean all are going to avail themselves of it, or understand it if they do. What blows my cool is how prevalent this sort of thing still is. Using my example of the guy who is claiming to be "Clean" and "d&d free" and offers as evidence that he tested negative in Dec 2018 ventures beyond ignorance onto stupid turf. i have no issue with guys who want to avoid disease and protect their health, but this method has no basis in reality. It is utterly ludicrous to be asserting such things on a hook up site. Reality is, unless you go to the clinic with your potential hook up, witness them getting tested, remain with them 24/7 until getting the results, see the actual results before having sex, then there is no way to ensure that person is truly disease free. And that doesn't even account for lab errors or something undetected. i'm pretty sure i know who gave me HIV, and i think he gave me syphilis as well. Timing, etc, all point to him. He was a frequent FB and he claimed to be disease free. He disappeared after i told him he needed to be tested. But i didn't ever harbor ill feelings towards him. i really enjoyed my times with him and do not regret one moment i was with him. To me the crux of this is taking personal responsibility. Disease is a reality of life. These days you can get Covid and die from just going to the grocery store. i can wear a face condom (i.e. a mask) to reduce the chances of spreading droplets, and i can get vaccinated. But asking all the people in the grocery store if they are disease free would just be silly. my being gay and wanting to be fucked is also a reality of life. One cannot reasonably have sex with a guy without some risk of disease, and this should be basic, common knowledge, especially to those who are actively cruising for sex!! i do not go looking for disease, i get checked regularly for all the usual sti's when i am getting my HIV undetectable status checked, so i am prolly safer than the average hook up site cruiser. But i never claim to be disease free, and am upfront about my HIV status. Because that is simply reality. if i want to be with you, receive your cock and cum into me, i am fully cognizant that i am risking getting an STI as well. If you know you have something, i appreciate if you tell me, but honestly, it's not a discussion i ever have or realistically think i can have when i am looking to connect on a hook up site lol.

my worst happened in 1998, was at a cruisy restroom where i often took cock under the stall wall. Did the usual signals, tap foot and passing notes written on toilet paper to see if we both wanted the same thing. He asked what i wanted and i told him i wanted him to fuck me. He stepped outside of his stall, knocked on mine and when i opened the door, showed me a badge and told me i was under arrest. i was handcuffed and driven to the police station in the back of a cop car, then had to hang out for a couple of hours as i was photographed, finger printed and booked. Had to talk with a magistrate who shamed me to no end. i was still married at the time and on the DL, so i was terrified about being found out. When i was released a few hours later, i was charged using a 100 year old sodomy law and charged with solicitation for a felony, i ended up hiring a very expensive lawyer, feeling very vulnerable. i had to go to court 4 times before there was an actual trial, it drug out for a year. When i was finally tried, the prosecutor was going for blood, the then attorney general was a conservative who hated gays and he wanted the worst for me. The judge was liberal and practically laughed telling me i needed to be more careful. He asked my lawyer what he wanted and my lawyer said: "i don't know judge, what do you suggest?" The judge suggested reducing the charge to indecent exposure (even though there had not been any exposure), a misdemeanor and a $500 fine. i was so relieved though, i just agreed. Afterwards, the cop who had arrested me approached me and apologized for arresting me. Thankfully those days of entrapment are gone. This was Virginia and vice cops used to hang out at all the parks and cruising spots pretending to be gay and looking, then would arrest the guy when they asked for sex.

Hey, im a romantic and a dreamer. love you Eros ❤️

i wrote this today on another thread about xtube being shut down, you can check it out on that thread if you want all the live links/resources. "XTube, a prominent pornographic streaming platform, is shutting down as its parent company faces mounting accusations that it facilitated sex trafficking on its subsidiary sites. The platform announced this week that it was disabling video and photo uploads as it prepared to close down on Sept. 5" The Justice Defense Fund is the force behind the XTube closure (these guys have done a great job sanitizing their site and hiding their religious underpinnings) It's not a clear cut topic, and i do not doubt there are illegal things that happen with XTube. By the same token there are illegal things that happen in churches too, would they cry foul if a large organization wanted to close churches down because of some of the illegal activities that go on there? i write that because i smell the religious right in this activity. Though they are getting sneaky and learning to hide who they are and couch their agenda in terms like "sexploitation," their definition of what sex should be is a lot narrower than they present to the general public. Laila Mickelwait is the Founder and CEO of the Justice Defense Fund the force behind it, which claims to be a non-religious, non partisan organization. Yet, is its head and founder being honest and open about her agenda? A quick google on Laila Mickelwait provided this : "In February 2020, the organization's Director of Abolition, Laila Mickelwait, launched a petition to shut down the adult website Pornhub. Mickelwait's #Traffickinghub campaign was co-sponsored the National Center on Sexual Exploitation, an anti-pornography organization formerly known as Morality in Media. By September, the campaign had gained over two million signatures, and on December 10, following an opinion column by New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof alleging the site was being used to share sex abuse videos,[5] Visa and Mastercard stopped allowing Pornhub to accept credit card transactions.[6] Shortly after, the Canadian Parliament began hearings to investigate the allegations against PornHub.[7]" "The organization originally developed out of a weekly prayer group founded in 2007 by Benjamin Nolot, a filmmaker and member of the charismatic Christian International House of Prayer. Nolot is currently the CEO of the organization. Exodus Cry says it is no longer directly affiliated with the church, but that it is faith-based and does offer prayer instruction on its website.[3][4] As of 2018, Exodus Cry was listed as a "related tax-exempt organization" on tax filings submitted by the International House of Prayer and has partnered with the church for campaigns since then." Here's an article in the Daily Beast that exposes the religious roots and complete intent behind their efforts: "Mickelwait’s case against Pornhub hinges on several real incidents of exploitation—most prominently, a class-action lawsuit against the amateur porn operation Girls Do Porn, which The Daily Beast covered extensively last year and which resulted in $12.8 million in damages being awarded to the victims. But the campaign’s claims about itself are less accurate. While Traffickinghub presents itself as “a non-religious, non-partisan effort,” the organizing force behind it is neither. Mickelwait’s employer—and the organization running the Traffickinghub campaign—is Exodus Cry, a fringe Evangelical group with far-right ties “prayed” into existence in a Missouri church, with the goal of abolishing the commercial sex industry entirely." i was raised in the religious right and was under their thumb for much of my life. Getting free of that evil force was a torturous process for me and many others, and this has their scent all over it. Make no mistake, these guys also believe gays are going to burn in hell and back in the late 20th century were trying to pass and enforce 100 year old laws that would jail gay people for having sex with each other. I know this is real, i lived it, and it is fucked up. Reverse it. Lets say someone decided they wanted to shut down the evil church and tried to shut down the Church of Christ because of what Jim Jones did? Of any number of other christian leaders who have broken the law (and there are plenty of them, ironically, many who have been caught in sexploitaion). Do a google on sexploitation in the church and see how long that has been going on and how widespread that has been. Why isn't The Justice Fund going after the church?

Fuck. i wondered why, so i googled it and got this: "XTube, a prominent pornographic streaming platform, is shutting down as its parent company faces mounting accusations that it facilitated sex trafficking on its subsidiary sites. The platform announced this week that it was disabling video and photo uploads as it prepared to close down on Sept. 5" The Justice Defense Fund is the force behind the XTube closure. and is related to what RawTop is discussing in his post here . It's not a clear cut topic, and i do not doubt there are illegal things that happen with XTube. By the same token there are illegal things that happen in churches too, would they cry foul if a large organization wanted to close churches down because of some of the illegal activities that go on there? i write that because i smell the religious right in this activity. Though they are getting sneaky and learning to hide who they are and couch their agenda in terms like "sexploitation," their definition of what sex should be is a lot narrower than they present to the general public. Laila Mickelwait is the Founder and CEO of the Justice Defense Fund the force behind it, which claims to be a non-religious, non partisan organization. Yet, is its head and founder being honest and open about her agenda? A quick google on Laila Mickelwait provided this : "In February 2020, the organization's Director of Abolition, Laila Mickelwait, launched a petition to shut down the adult website Pornhub. Mickelwait's #Traffickinghub campaign was co-sponsored the National Center on Sexual Exploitation, an anti-pornography organization formerly known as Morality in Media. By September, the campaign had gained over two million signatures, and on December 10, following an opinion column by New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof alleging the site was being used to share sex abuse videos,[5] Visa and Mastercard stopped allowing Pornhub to accept credit card transactions.[6] Shortly after, the Canadian Parliament began hearings to investigate the allegations against PornHub.[7]" "The organization originally developed out of a weekly prayer group founded in 2007 by Benjamin Nolot, a filmmaker and member of the charismatic Christian International House of Prayer. Nolot is currently the CEO of the organization. Exodus Cry says it is no longer directly affiliated with the church, but that it is faith-based and does offer prayer instruction on its website.[3][4] As of 2018, Exodus Cry was listed as a "related tax-exempt organization" on tax filings submitted by the International House of Prayer and has partnered with the church for campaigns since then." Here's an article in the Daily Beast that exposes the religious roots and complete intent behind their efforts: "Mickelwait’s case against Pornhub hinges on several real incidents of exploitation—most prominently, a class-action lawsuit against the amateur porn operation Girls Do Porn, which The Daily Beast covered extensively last year and which resulted in $12.8 million in damages being awarded to the victims. But the campaign’s claims about itself are less accurate. While Traffickinghub presents itself as “a non-religious, non-partisan effort,” the organizing force behind it is neither. Mickelwait’s employer—and the organization running the Traffickinghub campaign—is Exodus Cry, a fringe Evangelical group with far-right ties “prayed” into existence in a Missouri church, with the goal of abolishing the commercial sex industry entirely." i was raised in the religious right and was under their thumb for much of my life. Getting free of that evil force was a torturous process for me and many others, and this has their scent all over it. Make no mistake, these guys also believe gays are going to burn in hell and back in the late 20th century were trying to pass and enforce 100 year old laws that would jail gay people for having sex with each other. I know this is real, i lived it, and it is fucked up. Reverse it. Lets say someone decided they wanted to shut down the evil church and tried to shut down the Church of Christ because of what Jim Jones did? Of any number of other christian leaders who have broken the law (and there are plenty of them, ironically, many who have been caught in sexploitaion). Do a google on sexploitation in the church and see how long that has been going on and how widespread that has been. Why isn't The Justice Fund going after the church?

Thank you, and i have no problem with you adding to it. i think BlackDude makes some valid points about willful ignorance and heteronormative conformity, but perhaps that means we should not be silent about it? i literally read this just ten minutes ago in a guys profile on a gay site (i copied and pasted it): "I am HIV neg and expect you to be also, but not required. I am on PrEP for more than three years. Clean, healthy and STD free!" i thought it might be a typo and tried to gently point it out, he replied: Thank you for the input, but i am happy with my profile." blink.

Warning, this is rant. i cannot fathom how often i see this on gay sites, which lets be real, a "gay site" is pretty much a hook up site. It is 2021, right? i didn't accidentally step into a time warp and transport back to a time where there was no google? How is it that there can be so much ignorance in the information age? That the term "clean" mis still being used to imply STI's, and more specifically HIV, as though that's the equivalent of leprosy. And probably the even worse ignorance of guys who make such claims and are even igorant to include such useful info as "neg as of December 2018." Do that many guys still buy into the notion that a claim of "cleanest" or "D&D free" actually equals reality? okay, sorry, end of rant.

i know i am late to the conversation and have not read every reply, but will respond to the OP question for input. But i can speak from the perspective of experience. my story is all over BZ, i've been here awhile, so please forgive the repetition for those who have already read this stuff. i was a virgin before i married (a woman) at age 21, though i had been masturbating to guy fantasies as soon as i discovered masturbation as a kid, and had been putting things in my ass since age 7 crushing on a neighbor boy who taught me about my ass. I.e., i knew how i am, i just didn't accept who i am (i.e. 'gay') because i was conditioned not to (bear with me, this is going someplace). i think we are all culturally conditioned to one degree or another. We take a lot of notions for granted or simply as 'reality' and never question them. i may question stuff more than the average person, simply because of my history. For me, questioning became a process for achieving self acceptance. i think the gay community has generally absorbed a lot of heteronormative notions from a lack of questioning and a lot of us enter into relationships that have heteronormative elements, or even underpinning, even when they may be generally 'gay.' Like many, i grew up in an era and religious culture that conditioned me to believe that who and how i am (i.e., 'gay') is "wrong, sinful, broken, etc., etc.." As a result, i spent a large part of my life trying not to be gay. i married a woman, had kids, and tried to be straight as i was conditioned to believe i should be. it didn't work. i started cheating about 5 years into my marriage and it was the worst and most destructive thing i could ever have done. my particualar problem was, i still did not accept who i am, so cheating was a form of self medicating for me. It was the only form of self affirmation i had. But i fought cheating tooth and nail. i would literally pray and cry, trying to resist my needs. Hook up to try and assuage my needs. Then regret it immediately after. i literally hated and despised myself for cheating and lying to cover it up. It harmed both my mate and me. The longer i did it, the more it seemed who i really am was being obliterated. i do not see any value in lying, or being a purposeful liar, as a way of life. In my experience, either way you slice it, it takes away from quality of life for all involved. Yeah, being honest can be painful, but i see that as reality vs delusion, and i want to live real, not in a fantasy. To me, when i cheated, i was not only cheating my mate, i was cheating myself. i was being untrue to myself and my mate. For me, a major reason for intimate relationship such as marriage, is to have a deeper or more unique relationship with someone. It's about being connected with someone in a way we are not with just anyone. With someone who you know everything about and they about you, and there is love and acceptance. Intimate relationship is (in part) about not being alone. Lying is lonely. From a logical standpoint, if we are lying to an intimate, we have erected a barrier between us. We no longer have that persons acceptance or love for us for who and how we are, because we are now hiding who we are from them in a lie. In a sense, we are no longer fully with that person and our relationship has become fragmented at best. i think a lot of us enter relationships but then we grow or change (or both) and discover new things. Sometimes our relationships grow and change with us, sometimes they do not and they end. You have discovered you want something more or different than what you have. Do you want the thrill of the hunt and variety or is your thrill from lying and being untrue to yourself and your mate, essentially, living a lie?

Right? i can trace my bottom nature back to age 7, i discovered my hole as a sex organ at age 7 and didn't discover my penis till age 14. But it was more than that, looking back i can see clearly how being bottom was about way more than the physical position. i spent way to much of my life in a religious culture that did not allow for who i am/was, that told me i am less than 'broken, sinful" because of how i am. i was told i was selfish, that i could choose not to be who and how i am. And i believed these people and tried to de-gay myself for 35 fucking years. It took me a long time to get free from that web. i'm not going back to that mentality of trying to be someone i am not just because someone else thinks i should be to accommodate their desires. i know i am not unique in my experience, that many, if not all of us, have experienced rejection or condemnation from heteronormative culture. So, it seems to me, the last thing we should be doing is perpetuating such notions in our own culture. To me it makes no difference why you identify as you do, it makes it no less valid if you are bi, trans, gay, straight, Top, bottom, versatile, etc., etc., you are who you are and you are in a better position to know who you are than i am. Who the hell am i to think you are wrong about your self perception? i do not have a standard rule about any identity. i often do not end up having sex with versatile guys (though there are some where we have real understanding and we have sex when they are feeling top), never with bottom guys or anyone for that matter who wants me to top. i have a good friend who is versatile and he will spend a week staying with me at my house. We sleep in the same bed, watch gay movies together, hike, fix stuff, but we don't have sex... we just aren't sexually compatible, but i love him none the less and we accept each other for who we are. He doesn't expect me to to be someone i am not or vice versa.

yeah, wow. i have a pretty deluxe fuck machine, but have only taken it 30-40 minutes. i've gotten to a place where i need/want the emotional/psychological energy of a Guy wanting/needing to breed connected to the actual physical experience of being penetrated and fucked. i could probably take it longer if a Guy was using the fuck machine with me vs me just taking the machine.

i had a regular FB who made it His goal (unbeknownst to me at the time) to mold my hole into something between a pussy and a cunt. It's permanently changed and is better 'designed' to receive than to retain. Whenever i have to go, i have a sense of urgency and it has a sort of psychological effect on me that my hole is more suited to taking cock than it is to elimination. i love that feeling and disposition. i have the ability to squeeze and tighten around a cock, but i'm pretty easy access when it comes to getting in. i love a Top who loves either and opened hole or loves to leave it loose and sloppy. To me, that is part of His creative energy that i'm sort of the canvas or clay He is molding. To me, Top is a creative energy, position, and opened or loose/sloppy is a type of impregnation. i love who and how we are and how we fit together as men, it's fucking awesome.

Bottom. Can i physcially function as a top? If the circumstances are exactly right i can, it's not impossible for me, though it's like i have to trick myself psychologically to pull it off. i don't believe i am fem, but my penis seems more like a womans clit than a cock. Yeah, it gets engorged when sexually excited, but it gets engorged at the prospect of bottoming, not topping. i think a guys ass is the most beautiful part of his anatomy, by i'm not psychologically inclined to penetrate a guy, not even orally. Not rimming, not fingering, not getting sucked. All of those, for me, are "topping." Yes, i can 'top.' i was married to a woman and produced a couple of great kids. i love/loved my former wife, but i am not psychologically wired to be a top, and she was decidedly bottom. too. i learned that there is a difference between being gay and bottom, and i am both. Is it nature or nurture? idk, i'm guessing both, but i know who and how i am and feel no obligation or compulsion to be anything else. i tried being versatile and straight/bi when i was married, it almost destroyed me, it just wasn't me.

wow, great quote !!

i'm pretty much with ErosWired on this one. i don't exactly think of a top as "lazy" if he wants me to ride him, but for me, riding is a form of topping. Hell, i don't even used dildos on myself for pleasure because, to me, it feels like i am trying to top myself. i goess i am sort of literal when it comes to Top/bottom and riding is me on top, like i am fucking myself on his cock, it just doesn't work for me on a psychological level, so the physical stamina thing doesn't really factor in for me. Still, as a martial artist and yogi, i'd suggest turning around as a switch up, facing away from him vs facing him. Especially if he is sitting on a couch, that would put you in a similar sitting position vs squating, different muscle groups, you could stretch your legs and transfer some of the work to your arms?

i have never had the pee fucked out of me, but have had cum and precum fucked out of me. But, as a bottom, i have come to view (emotionally) piss from a Top and pee from a bottom as significant, second only to cum. and in some ways as powerful. For me, it does depend on where the Top or bottom is at emotionally, whether they have a connection to their piss/pee. As a bottom, if a Top fucked the pee out of me, to me on a psychological level it would be similar to Him fucking the pre cum or cum out of me, like He made me orgasm in a sense. But then, i LOVE the Total Top/total bottom dynamic where the Top controls both of our sexuality. Similar for me if He pisses in me, for me it's another form of breeding and it definitely impregnates me both in a physical way and psychologically. Fuck yeah, if a Top fucked the pee out of me, to me it would be like He made me orgasm... and in some ways better than me cumming.

my simple answer is "yes." But it depends on the Top. Some guys are slow because they cannot cum. Whether it happens to be true or not, that sends the emotional signal to me that they are not really enjoying wha they are doing all that much, that they are going through the motions. On the other hand, some Tops are completely present (and damn, i can feel the difference) and They fuck with presence and obvious intent. i have had slow, deep fucks from Tops like that and they end up penetrating and impregnating my soul... they take possession and own me. i cannot imagine a better fuck than that, nor have i experienced better than that. For me, it is the best.

i think this is a great point!! i was religious and married (to a woman) for many years, and i struggled with cheating. Sex was my only affirmation as a gay guy, it was a mess for me. Anyway, i actually swore off getting sucked when i was married because it seemed that was the only way i got STI's. i have never gotten anything except HIV from getting barebacked, and i had had easily 1000's of cocks in my ass prior to becoming poz ( i was lucky). But it seemed like every time i got sucked, i'd get chlamydia or gonorrhea. Pretty much total bottom for years now, so my penis isn't much used and i have not had an STI in a long time either. Last STI was syphillis from the same Top who gave me HIV (i think) and that was 8 years ago now.

Yeah, i guess my answer is similar to some others, my immediate thought when i read your question was: "take more cocks." i know it may sound counter intuitive, but the more cocks i take, the more it seems my hole (and my inner psychological hole) wants them. i have even found multiple cocks have made hemorrhoids go away, which sort of makes sense to me that a cock continuously inserted can push them back into place? But then, sooner or later a Top comes along with technique to prolapse, and out they come again. As far as i'm concerned, i love pretty much any affect a Top has on me and my hole, to me that is impregnation... even the soreness. But honestly, soreness to me is a sign i have not been getting enough penetration and breeding from cock. Really.

It's sad how many are still stuck in the Victorian era. Going to the grocery store, or using a public restroom "spreads disease." Human contact spreads disease. More disease gets spread from contaminated surfaces, like shaking a hand, or breathing in someone else's breath (droplets) than from sex. More people get sick (and die) from eating too much pizza than from too much cum, i wonder if this guy has ever served pizza to another person? Are there practical things we can do to lessen the risk of disease? Yes. But that is a practical, individual choice, not a moral one (unless one is raping others or forcing pizza down their throat).

Oh yeah, thankfully not the greater percentage, but i have had my share of quiet Tops. i listen for breathing or moaning cues, anything for feedback on whether He is enjoying and i feel disconnected when they are completely silent. i've also experienced the guys who come several times and i haven't realized till later from all the cum inside. Some guys are just quiet, but i still want any Top who wants me.

Agreed. i was hoping there would be some who have found other options. i know there is more than one company offering STI testing.

The challenge with Covid tests is collection (i'm a critical care nurse and have collected a lot of these). The most common method of Covid swabbing is nasopharyngeal. To get a proper sampling the swab has to be inserted quite deep and turned for 10 seconds on each side. Doing a Covid test to yourself at home probably isn't the best idea for the masses. The STI tests are pretty standard and are mostly blood and urine samples, however, i think swabs are important with gay guys, and i'd like to see test sets that are targeted to gays with both oral and anal swabs in addition to blood and urine tests.

i received an email promotion today from A4A for a company offering home STI kits. i think it's a step in the right direction, it does make testing a lot more convenient and confidential, though the cost barrier still exists. Here's a link to the company A4A Is advertising, i know there are others, thought it would be a worthwhile thread to start and others can identify and list resources. i would love to see my gay brothers chasing health, both physically and psychologically, destigmatizing sex and removing health hazards to connecting. Instaad of wearing a version of a mask on our cocks, i'd love to see us irradiate the reason for condoms by removing disease as a risk. If we all test routinely, STI's can be dramatically reduced. Not preaching, i just want those i love and care about healthy. To me, healthy is sexy. ❤️ [think before following links] https://www.nurx.com/sti-testing/

Yes and no. i've always pretty much been bottom, but how that expresses has changed a lot. my story is scattered in pieces all over BZ. i grew up at a time and in a religious culture that considered gay as a "sickness" and a "sin." i was aware of my sexual attraction to guys from an early age, 12 isn. i had emotional crushes on guys that i can trace back to age 7. i see a strong connection between the physical and emotional parts of sex, so i knew at some level i am gay from a pretty early age. i had my first sex at age 21 when i married a woman as a virgin. i didn't act on my gay desires/needs till i was 26. Ironically, a guy on a christian missionary ship seduced me into sucking His cock, but all of my masturbatory dreams and fantasies growing up were about guys. Even at 26 i was still psychologically entangled in religious belief that had me thinking i was sick and sinful for wanting/needing a guy, so i literally hated myself when i gave into my desires and had sex with a guy. Most of my sex in my 20's, 30's and 40's, and there was a lot, was anonymous hook up, cruising places, restrooms, understall breeding. i also traveled for work, so lots of hotel sex, but 98% anonymous hook up. After i divorced in 2008 (slow learner), i tried dating guys, thinking i wanted a relationship. That has not happened to this day and i have had a ton more anonymous hook up sex, but without any guilt or shame, so much better. For many years, my most common sex was me lying naked face down on my bed, door open and guys i never saw breeding me, walk in breed and go. i wanted a lover, but this worked in the meantime. With the demise of CL, and the increase of aps, walk-in sex has been more of a challenge to get, so much of my sex happened at ABS. Lots of that. i've gotten much more kinky as i have aged. Or maybe i should say that my kinks have surfaced and become more apparent as i have aged? i suspect they, or the makings of them, have always been there, but i have the freedom to explore and express who and how i am now. Once i got free of my restrictive beliefs, i have expereinced freedom of expression and peace. i know myself and accept myself and being free has affected my sexuality. i am no longer worried that i am sick or sinful and turns out i'm pretty kinky on top of being gay. i think it's debatable whether my sexuality has changed over the years or whether my acceptance of my sexuality has changed over the years?