tallslenderguy

Wow, that's really amazing to me to read You hadn't cumm for 75 days. As a total bottom, i will go long stretches without cumming because it makes me even hornier and needier for a Top. When i do cum after a long while, it's a big load. i never thought of a Top going without, but wow, i would have felt so, idk, honored to get Your 75 day load. Not just the cum, but the pent up energy, sort of well seasoned orgasm that You had, as you say: "Best fuck [you] had in ages." i love receiving a Mans cock, desire, cum inside of me, but i also love receiving His orgasm and intense pleasure, i swear it feels like they transfer from Him into me, so fucking Hot.

Yesterday. Same FB i've written about the last several times i've posted here. He contacts me often and usually wants "right now." Despite trying to explain to Him about preparing, He doesn't seem to get it. i was all prepared to go out and work in the yard, finish installing my drip system, when He texted me. i told Him i couldn't right then and tried to put it off till today, honestly though, i'd been horny ask weekend and had jerked off 3 times just to take the edge off (i usually only do that every week or ten days because i like being a horny bottom and wanting a Top). He said "Please" and i caved lol. He was very horny, so He had a lot of energy. When we first started hooking, He was quiet, i couldn't even tell when He came, though He'd tell me later He usually cums two or three times when fucking me. He's starting to make more sounds now, and i really love it, showing His pleasure ramps me up, and i'm already ramped anyway. Something else He is doing more of is kissing. i'm on my stomach waiting for Him when He comes in, yesterday He kissed my ass, waist, back and shoulders, very lightly and tenderly. That really has a possessing energy for me, it's like a seed enhancer, He owned me. He fucked me very hard and deep, i almost came at one point just from getting fucked. He seeded me deep.

This is not meant to be combative. To me this reads as though you are saying there really are no intrinsic distinctions, rather: "people like boxes," and these things are all a matter of choice and having an "open mind?" I.e., those who may identify using different "boxes" like "man, woman, black, white, gay, str8, bottom, top" are being closed minded? Given your list and how you "keep an open mind" means you can be: "man, woman, black, white, gay, str8, bottom, top" whenever you choose? Something that keeps me from connecting with some guys who identify as "versatile" is a superior attitude some take that because they are versatile they are better, more open minded. Implying someone who is different means they do not have an open mind ( e.g., "bottom", or "Top") does not strike me as "open minded." To me, it comes off as ethno/ego centric to assume if someone is not like me, they are just being close minded. That may be because i grew up in a religious culture that insisted i couldn't be gay... and i believed them and their superior attitude for many years, they seemed so confident they knew what they were talking about. They made an argument they were right because i had sex with a woman and made kids. Performing that way really fucked with me, it was a denial of who i am. i do not think that is what you are doing, but to me you do seem to be making versatility into its own box? You do not seem to believe people who say they are "Top" or "bottom?" i do not claim to understand all of this that's why i think discussions like this are great. i wish you would 'hear' me when i say i am not like you and not just dismiss me as being closed minded. BTW, i have the same feeling towards those who think Top is superior and bottom inferior. To me, they are just different. i think it's possible to be man, woman, black, white, gay, str8, bottom, top... and even versatile (kidding), and keep an open mind. i think i am being open minded when i accept you at face value when you say you are versatile. You do not have to be either "Top" or "bottom."

Adding more to my previous post. i see to major schools or thought and emotional response when considering Top/bottom/versatile: some seem to think it's a choice, others go so far as to say they were "born 'that' way." For me, it's combined. Physically, i can choose to top, psychologically i seem to be wired bottom. On the rare occasions i have topped, very specific criteria have to aline, some i am aware of, others reasons are blurry, Not so with bottoming. If a Man needs/desires to breed me, pretty much all "criteria" have been met lol. One thing that is important to me in this discussion is to take another guy at face value. I.e., i do not get to chose or dictate who he or how he is based on who or how i am. i may wish him to be Top, but would rather go without than have a guy go against who he is just to accommodate me. For me, that feels to much like what i did half my life when i was married to a woman. i went against who and how i am to accommodate a person and an idea. i don't want to do that to or with another person. For me, it goes back to my psychological wiring i guess. i do not just want to get physically penetrated and bred, i want to be 'psychologically' penetrated and bred, and that requires connecting with real need and desire of both involved.

i think this is a great topic for discussion, thanks for posting it NWUSHorny. i only have a few minutes before having to go to work, but here's a start of a response. i tend to think the reasons for role choice are more psychologically wired in. Which is not to say i think we choose our desires/needs. i also think there are a lot more gray reasons than black or white answers to these questions. i was married to a woman for half my life and i functioned in the top position with her, both physically and psychologically. The reasons i married were mostly from religious cultural conditioning, but i still love/loved my former wife, i just was not compatible with her. One of the things i saw happening while i was married was a part of me was being starved to death, it was as if i could feel that part of me dying and i realized it would have left me permanently damaged if i let it happen. That "part" was the 'bottom' in me that desired and needs a Man. Apparently it is possible for me to function physically as a top, but it violates something in me to do so? Not physically. Sex having my penis serviced feels good physically, having an orgasm feels good physically, but it doesn't feel right or complete for me psychologically. damn, gotta go to work.

Ditto. i have been known to use a plastic water bottle when at work for a quickie, would take several trips between sink and stall. But for a night at the sauna i'd prep at home. i've never had an incident where i was unclean, just would not wanna chance it, would not be worth it to me. The prep stuff i have seen at a sauna has been rudimentary at best, not my idea of "prep."

i hate any kind of theatrics or 'role play,' this is real for me. Sometimes the Guy Topping me will ask me to "talk dirty" to Him, and that always leaves me at a loss. If its not spontaneous and real, i don't want it as part of the fuck. i do moan and say what i'm feeling, but it's not a lot or continuous. There have been times when i have to bite my mattress to keep from saying: "i love You" to a complete stranger who is fucking me and obviously hitting all my buttons lol, but that's because i don't wanna risk turning Him off.

i sooooooo agree with this. i believe the foundation of fundamentalist mind set is a desire for absolute knowledge, and i do not think one has to be religious to have that mindset. Psychologically, i think those who want or think they have absolute knowledge, associate that with security. i do think it's easier to accommodate the mindset in a relgious setting though. When one crosses the line from belief to absolute knowledge, they can make that knowledge into authority that they can then justify applying universally. To jump it up a few notches, some abrogate themselves of responsibility attributing their beliefs and notions to an authority or creator. i think many of these people are absolutely sincere and convinced they are doing "Gods" bidding because they don't just believe in "God," they know "God." i think "God" is the ultimate ethnocentricity.

There is a real and powerful religious force in the USA, with a decided political presence and agenda. It doesn't take a historian to realize the number of times the notion "it will never happen here" has been proved wrong for a country. i was arrested in 1999 by a cop pretending to be gay and pretending to cruise in a known gay park. i was charged with a felony using a 100 year old sodomy law for asking him if he wanted to fuck. The only thing that saved me was a judge who was liberal. The judge could just as easily been conservative and sided with McDonell's anti gay beliefs. Anyone who believes the US justice system is 'blind' and free of bias is woefully ignorant. The "justice system" is how law is interpreted, and RvW is a perfect example of how interpretation can go from one side to the opposite in a heartbeat, depending on who sits on the bench. Bob McDonnell was the AG in Virginia at the time i was arrested. McDonell identified as a conservative Christian and he went after gays with a vengeance... he later became governor of Virginia. He was very open about his agenda. McDonell's masters thesis (from religiously conservative Regents University) lays out his views: "...the entire treatise outlines a Christian Reconstructionist’s version of a biblical worldview as it relates to the relationship between family, church, and civil government, and outlines proposals to privilege that social ordering with taxes and policies. McDonnell sets out the jurisdictional view of authority promoted by Reconstructionists with which RD readers will be familiar: the “God-ordained institutions,” of the civil government (citing Genesis 9-11), the church (citing Matthew 16), and the family (citing Genesis 2)." [think before following links] https://religiondispatches.org/bob-mcdonnells-christian-reconstructionist-thesis/ And now we have a purposely stacked supreme court. "U.S. Supreme Court takes aim at separation of church and state In three decisions in the past eight weeks, the court has ruled against government officials whose policies and actions were taken to avoid violating the U.S. Constitution's First Amendment prohibition on governmental endorsement of religion - known as the "establishment clause." [think before following links] https://www.reuters.com/legal/government/us-supreme-court-takes-aim-separation-church-state-2022-06-28/?utm_source=ground.news&utm_medium=referral

You may want to check out Ground News , they provide several sources for the same story and measure things like factuality and bias.

Stuff like The Inquisition or similar (to me), Islamic conquests, did not result in entire populations converting whole heartedly, but they did have control and asserted it against populations like gay people or 'infidels.' Fundamentalists believe gays are going to hell for fucking. There are fundamentalists who want to put gay people in jail. They may not convert gays to their way of thinking, but they still want to repress us and they do not see us as equals. Thomas want's to "revisit" (and overturn) the rulings that give people equality. Well, gay people anyway, he probably doesn't want to revisit slavery. i think people like Thomas are the ones spreading fear ("fear mongering.").

Right? There's a type of person who wants a black or white rule book to base their life on vs paying attention to what is going on now and evolving. Some people want a 'holy writ,' but those same people typically fail to see that they are using that to support their own emotional disposition... interpretation.

For me, the idea and intent behind chastity are what counts more than an actual device. Chastity, to me, is not about forbidding orgasm, but about controlling it. i only see it or am interested in chastity as part of a Top/bottom relationship with a Man. The idea of putting myself in chastity has zero appeal. The hottest dynamic i can imagine is a relationship where the Top truly doesn't see or want me with a 'cock.' But then, i am total bottom. i would think it's very different with a versatile guy, and chastity could take on a different meaning, where he has a "cock" and it is being locked up. As a total bottom, i am drawn to Total Tops who don't want a guy with a "cock," but He sees and treats it more like He might a womans clit. Not that i am talking feminization, or trans here, i'm not. It's different. A womans clit is still a very real part of their sex organs and sexuality. In my experience when i was married to a woman, she got off on having her clit stimulated, but did not like to orgasm that way, it was always a precursor to being penetrated and bred. i found i related to her, i needed/wanted the same thing. So the idea of chastity is both physical and psychological for me. It's a part of me a Man can manipulate to get or keep me horny for His cock and cum. It's not that i do not need or want to cum, but that i need/want the connection and bond where He is in charge and controls my orgasm. To me, that is an enormously deep bond when our pleasure is bound that way. But it only works when the need/desire is mutual. Chastity, to me, is not so much about locking and owning my "cock," but about owning my orgasm.

Great topic! To me, one of the distinctions of an intimate relationship is the deeper, more open connections and bonds that can be had. i'd want my partner to feel free to express His desire/need whenever it was there. In that kind of relationship, i see masturbation as foreplay. I.e., once i see my partner aroused, it stimulates my desire/need for Him. i want to be a part of His pleasure and receive that part of Him into myself, so Him masturbating would be something akin to 'Master' 'bating' me. To me, it's sort of like groping, except He is groping Himself, but in a sense, He is sorta groping me when He touches Himself, because He and His pleasure are a pleasure center for me. my response to the 'signal' would likely be to go to my knees at the very least, or present my hole for breeding.

There is a lot of ignorance in the world, particularly when it comes to science and healthcare. As a nurse who's cared for a lot of Covid patients , i encontered family who were convinced we were keeping their very sick family members in the hospital unnecessarily. Honestly, some of the stuff people would say to me left me speechless. Science supports vaccines, yet look at the large number of people who are afraid or reject them. People watch a youtube vid and are convinced they are medical experts afterwards, there are many people who really don't grasp what science is or how it works. i'm more often than not convinced that people act out of emotion more than reason.

i am just guessing, but I don’t think this is over. He may be trying to do what he thinks is right and most expedient, but love and emotion are powerful things, my guess is he is still conflicted and that will still come out in some way in the future… maybe.

Top or bottom, it's still sex, and sex is not just physical, and you are exploring the psychological side of it. You do not need a cage to exercise abstinence, but there can be a psychological side to being put in a cage by another Man and giving Him the key to being able to stimulate your penis. You can also put yourself in one, but it's different. There are infinite variations of chasity. i read about a guy who's lover tied a pink bow around his penis as his "chastity belt." Personally, i cum hardest and the most when i have not cum for awhile. But the effects of chastity, i think, can be more psychological than physical. And absitnace definitely makes you more sensitive, not just your prostate. i think not eating makes you more hungry, not having sex makes you hungry for sex and mare horny,, sensitive and malleable sexually. It's a tried and true method for training a bottom to get his pleasure from his hole, and focus his sexual energy there.

To me, "dumped" sounds to harsh, but it does answer a lot of questions, for both of you. It's a hard one, i'm sorry. i've found that our emotions and reason often to not aline in life. We feel one way, but think another. i do not think it's strange or unusual that he "felt like a teenager." Culture often controls and directs our choices and behavior differently from who we are, what we want/need. i think that causes certain parts of us to be unfulfilled and those parts don't have a chance to grow and develop, so that part of us is stuck as a "teenager" (so to speak). Now that th cat is out of the bag, it's going to be hard for him to put it back. It's sort of like escaping a prison, and it's going to be hard for him to give up the freedom and joy that part of him experienced. As to him recommending you find a "younger man?" He cannot make that call for you, you are attracted to who you are, i think repression of such feelings is what gets us in trouble in the first place, conforming to what "should be" instead of exploring what is.

Not to be a wet blanket, but, all meds have side effects, especially with long term or chronic use (their original intended use was short term therapy). Neither proton pump inhibitors or H2 blockers actually 'fix' the problem of reflux, they just lower acid in the stomach, making the reflux less painful. For instance, a side effect of chronic use is anemia, our body uses stomach acid for iron metabolism, so chronic use of antacid thwarts that stomach acid function. We likely do not know the half of it when it comes to altering any normal body function long term. Here's some study summaries for those interested; Proton pump inhibitors (e.g., Nexium, Prilosec, Prevacid, etc.). [think before following links] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7887997/ and H2 inhibitors (e.g, Zantec, Tagamet, Pepcid, etc.). [think before following links] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK525994/ As an aside, i've had good success with Fennel seed for GERD treatment. Here's some study review of natural therapies for GERD: [think before following links] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8839470/

Great discussion! Have my "standards changed?" Yes, though my tastes have remained pretty much the same. For me, the biggest qualifier is a Mans need/desire to breed. If that presents, He can have me via my hole and it awakens my own need/desire....usually. Romance is a lot more complicated, but casual sex? His need/desire to penetrate and seed are pretty much the only qualifiers.

i say "total bottom" because it's less confusing than trying to explain. For me, it's not just physical, i feel like i am psychologically 'bottom' as well. But every once in a while, my cock will end up in an ass. It has not happened for years now, but i know the possibility is there, but it's an exception vs a permanent or ongoing state of being. i don't think i could be in a relationship where it was an ongoing thing or expectation for me to top. i was married to a woman for much of my life, and i had to be top in that relationship, i suspect that exhausted the top that may have been in me.

i do love the way hairless feels and looks, but it is a lot easier to let it grow and i find Tops seems to be about 50/50 when it comes to what They like. As to the pussy look, that's been a lifetime process. There's a sorta base that has been formed over the years that can be tweaked by a Top or plug or dildo or________? Over time, it's become more malleable. 😉

The plot thickens. i don't think you "pushed him," Who initiated the kiss? it seems there's quite a bit of sexual tension between you. i think you are learning a lot. He took off his glasses because you told him you like his eyes, that was a gesture from him. He also "likes what he sees inside of you." Kissing you left him breathless. It seems clear to me that he is attracted to you, but does not know what to do with his attraction. i think you are right that this is new to him and it seems he is feeling a lot of confusion and is conflicted as well.

my first thought is, you text every day, you have kissed and slept together, so, you already are in a "relationship" with him and you do not have to "imagine." So many of the thoughts and feelings you are having derive from your relationship to him. And, yeah, i know, you were thinking more along the lines of a clearly defined relationship, but i think where some confusion may come in is trying to reconcile what is with what 'should be.' i single quote "should be" because i believe our conditioning, both cognitive and emotional, is often the source of conflict and confusion in our lives. The conflict comes from trying to reconcile what we think or feel should be with reality. To me, you seem to be parsing out what you feel, think, want, don't want, nicely. In my opinion, the idea of just kissing him on the lips is totally romantic and personally, i'd melt in a guys arms if i was into him and he did that with me ( i'm a romantic), but honestly i think that would be putting the cart before the horse. i think what needs to happen is verbal communication. I.e., i believe you need to be open about your thoughts and feelings... a step at a time. E.g., instead of leaping in and presumptively kissing him on the lips, tell him you want to. That's a half step in the direction that will give him choice and participation. i think/feel the same way about everything you have told us about your thoughts and feelings for him, that he is the one you should be sharing these things with. Not necessarily all at once, but each step will guide you as to whether you move forward or backwards.

i don't know, but my feel is that your professor is as closeted and conflicted as you are about the relationship. It seems each of you is afraid to come right out and share what you are feeling and thinking about each other. i think it's easy to imbue the older, professor guy with credit for being more mature and having the answers, but the truth may be he is as scared and inexperienced as you are when it comes to a gay relationship. A great thing about an intimate relationship is knowing and being known. It's also scary and vulnerable, risky. i have experienced very few guys in my life who were willing to take the first step of being open about who they are and what is really inside. There are those who will open once the other person does, then there are those who just let y0ou stand there naked, and never respond in kind. As i've aged, i am more selective about those i share my heart with, but i still do it way more often than i experience it in return, and pretty much never experience it from someone who initiates. Still, i'd rather take the risk than not, the pay off when the connection occurs is life itself to me.