tallslenderguy

i tend to believe similarly. i knew i was attracted to guys when i was 7, admitted it to myself at age 13, "confessed" it in church at age 19 lol, sigh. i tried to change myself from being gay most of my life, married a woman. DIdn't work, and i really wanted to change at the time because i'd been conditioned by religious culture to think being gay is a "choice, sin, broken," Lot's of gay guys have come up through that crap and have similar stories, and all can tell you about the torture of sincerely wanting to become straight and not being able to pull it off. The evidence just doesn't seem to support that one can rewire their sexuality. When i first divorced i thought i might be Bi. Hey, i'd been married to a woman for 31 years and was quite able to perform sexually. i ended up dating a visiting professor of womens studies from Germany for awhile. She was gorgeous, intelligent... and lesbian. She was 40 and suddenly found herself wanting a man. We got along great (i seem to always get along and connect well with lesbians? go figure). When it came down to it though, she wanted sex, and i didn't . There was something about the female energy that i just could not connect with sexually. i also dated a FtM trans person who was poly and in a 10 year relationship with another woman. Again, the three of us hit it off really well and they wanted me to join them in relationship. Same thing, even though the trans person identified as male, there was something about them that just felt female to me, maybe how i feel with bottom sub guys? idk, but it was not a fit either, but it helped with my self discovery process. Turns out im gay total bottom with some sub in me. Do i think that some of that may be fluid? Yeah, probably, but i can trace those parts of my nature back as early as age 7 and, if they are fluid, they haven't moved very much if at all. So, i'm not inclined to think things like "gay," "Straight" "Bi" are all that changeable.

i love the endless variety of guys and kinks. Personally, my own knit is more related to the energy behind piss and cum than the actual substance. Particularly piss. i'm a total bottom with a bit of sub thrown in and this topic can be pretty involved for me psychologically. As a bottom, i have "pee" and it's just body waste, as is my semen. A Tops or Mans is piss and cum and, to me, both are a form of His seed, something He can use to inseminate and impregnate with. When i watch porn of a guy pissing into anothers mouth, and the receiver is spitting it out or just letting it spill, it offends something in me, like it's wasting seed. i connect a Mans piss with His release/relief and i see my self as a receptacle for those parts of Him. Piss, to me, is a means of connecting and bonding, both physically and psychologically. my favorite way to receive piss is deep inside my hole. i can hold it for hours and absorb it in my gut. When i pee later, i can smell my Tops piss dominating my pee, it's a very real form of impregnation. i have a fantasy of being conditioned/trained to drink piss from a Tops cock. That's the only way i'd wanna drink it personally. i too have fears about both taste and quantity, but i also know from experience that overcoming those are just a matter of training and developing skill. In my ideal world, i have a Coach type Man who helps me with that, it's all part of the mind fuck for me. A Man who is a regular FB subtley, slowly and purposefully could train and even addict me to doing this. After or while sucking Him off, He lets just a little piss go. Not enough to be overwhelming, i might even question: "hey, was that piss?" There's no discussion, it just happens. Each time He lets a little more and more go, getting me used to the taste and quantity, showing His obvious pleasure is a big part of the process for me. In time, it's obvious i am drinking His piss and He can then start to talk about it once He has me trained and, hooked, really. Once He has done this, one day after sucking Him off, He pulls out and goes and pisses in the toilet. When He returns, He notes the disappointment on my face and knows He has me saying: "oh, did you want that?" "Do you want to be my toilet?"

i don't question the sincerity of this, but i do question the notion that sex is ever a "purely...physical act?" Which is not to minimize the physical part of it, but we are also mental and emotional beings. When i first divorced (from a woman), i thought i might be Bi. After all, i'd managed to have sex with a woman and a part of me got pleasure from it. Orgasm always feels good to me physically. But marriage to a woman almost destroyed me psychologically and it long controlled my physical sex life as well (that by itself is a long story). Even masturbation for me (and i think most, if not all) involves thought and fantasy... one has to think about it before doing it. Ltr is complicated, short term less so? i think a hook up is relationship, just a very short one lol. i think a lot of the motive and energy behind hook up sex is minimizing to avoid the conflicts, disappointments, work, of ltr. Conversely though, i think hook up sex can be limited. For instance, i have lots of detailed fantasies that involve finding a compatible Mate to experiencing them with, which is not as simple as a hook up. i have one fantasy where a Top who i suck off on a regular basis begins to condition me to take His piss in a subtle, mind fuck way. That's not something that can be accomplished in a quick, simple hook up. As to the list of three: 1). i spent most of my life trying to not be gay (my story is all over this site), so i know that being gay is not a "lifestyle," but a state of being. 2). i have never been high or drunk. i've never even had a beer. i have been poppered by a Top before and when He was fucking me, that was hot, but i won't do drugs. 3). i found out i am poz when i went to get my routine STD testing, i actually was planning on getting PrEP, instead i found i am poz and went on meds and have been undetectable since. i don't want STD's and would take the cure tomorrow if there was one for HIV. i don't want to give any disease to another either. i think i get the appeal, but i think there are lots of other ways guys can impregnate and be impregnated that do not require disease transmission to get that desire/need fulfilled.

my favorite kinda Top is one who doesn't relate to me as having a "cock." To me, a "cock" is so much more than an organ between the legs, it's a drive, disposition, need to penetrate, inseminate, impart some of Himself into me, a form of possessing. i don't even have enough top in me to cage myself, and masturbation where i touch my penis is always a disappointment to me. my state of being that doesn't have a reference point. i'm not a transperson, have no desire to be a woman, i don't have a womans aura or energy, i do not want to lose what i have between my legs. As a matter of fact, having it there and being affirmed by a Top who ignores it, or better, emphasizes that is not a "cock" is hugely arousing to me.

i don't think i can know the "best sex" i've ever had till i'm dead. One may have more "miles," not "accelerate" as fast, but that same One has been more places, seen more things, carried more passengers. i'm a lot more kinky now than i was when i was younger. my mind is a lot more engaged in sex, it's a lot more holistic and endless variety. Honestly though, most of the sex i've had in life (and it's been a lot) has been worth it. The lesser experience is not a disappointment for me, i'm grateful for all the connections i've had with guys. Sure, some sex has been better than other, but i haven't had much bad sex in my life... really, none that i can remember, so it must not have been that bad lpl. I don't foresee a time when i will say: 't's over' or 'already had the best i'm going to ever see.'

i think a lot of the responses to your post demonstrate this is not a fantasy at all. i think sex rates pretty high as a compatibility factor for most gay relationships. Given that, meeting at a place where sex is the primary focus makes sense to me. i like tacos, but it's not a criteria for relationship for me that a partner share that appetite. I.e., it's more likely that i'll meet and fall for a guy at a bath house, ABS or restroom glory hole where we are sharing a vital need/desire we have in common, than at a Taco Bell.

like others, "pre-covid." Usually 2-3 times a year i'd spend a week at a clothing optional, compound type gay resort. All had play areas where i'd spend time during the day and at night i'd leave my room door ajar, lie face down and ass up on my bed. Throughout the night, guys would come in and cum in. One time i actually got a cramp in my back i spent so much time bent over with my ass to a glory hole that was a little low for me (i'm 6'5" tall). edit: i do use aps too, though they are not my idea, they are more of an add on at a gay resort. Some resorts make it difficult for an outside visitor. They either have to pay for a pass or sign in at the front desk and be met by the paying guest. kind of puts a damper on walk in breeding. i have done that though and one Guy fucked me for a couple of hours, which is really rare in my experience. He came three times and pissed in me in between. He had a big cock that never went completely flaccid after cumming, so He was able to stay inside me the entire time, so i don't rule anything out. He was a beautiful Man, definitely fell in love and wanted to marry Him.

i'm not opposed to face pics but have taken a few thousand anonymous cocks and have maybe ever seen their face 10% of the time? Which is maybe a little strange because i'm a very romantic guy and would love to be in love... and have fallen for a few hook ups and/or fuckbuddies. i love to kiss, but not just anyone, and it's not all about looks, more energy for me. Which is not to say i am unaffected by looks, it's just not a primary criteria for me. A Guys energy and desire are a lot bigger factors for me. Most of my sex has been anonymous walk in at my house where i am lying naked face down and ass up on my bed. i know, prolly not the safest way, but i've never had a problem and i never feel the need to look at them, just be there with them. A lot of guys are shy and appreciate the anonymity. i've had repeat fuck buddies for years who i have never seen. i love men.

Psychologically I am wired total bottom, but love all males. I work with some younger guys, early 20’s who are very boyish, cute as fuck. I’d love the mind fuck of being bred by them, but honestly would probably do anything they wanted, which is sub, but my sub nature doesn’t usually extend to top or getting sucked, but I would with some of these guys they are so sweet and appealing

Not for me. i see no right or wrong answer to this or universal answer.... but no. i'm a guy and like some others, it's male to male connection i want. Having a penis that a Top has no interest in is part of the dynamic, Being a guy that a Man wants to fuck and seed and who enjoys a guy who wants to receive His cock and seed is different. i have wondered what it might be like if my penis was inverted and made into a hole that was fuckable. Also keep my testicles, but they be tucked up into my body, so i still have the testosterone drive, but not the penetrative ability of having a cock. For me, it's about taking that penetrative ability and energy and turning it into receptive energy. It's both physical and psychological... for both me and my Top. That's different than being born with a pussy though. i currently have a Man who likes to internalize what i have and loves to see me pee with it internalized, but that's different, there's a lot of mind fuck that would be missing if i had a natural front pussy as well as a back one.

i love to reach under when He is cumming and hold, stroke, His balls. i fucking love the feeling of His balls contracting as the unload.

Prolly no standard signal, though yellow is piss? I wear tight, colorful, something that looks faggoty.

These are red, yellow and white. i have 4 pairs of this brand in various colors, but they are all in three different colors. i also have a pair that is yellow and sheer i can where when cruising. One Man has pissed in me on two separate occasions after breeding me through a glory hole, not sure if the underwear gave Him the signal, but i loved that He just did it without discussion, just naturally. i think my S curve must be pretty tight because one time when He did it, i was not aware and took three more loads from other Men after. Later, when i was home and finally had to expel (i always want to hold it in and absorb what a Man gives me), piss came out. As soon as i noticed, i clenched and held it longer.

It depends, if i am around the house, nothing. If i am out, i like to wear something that hopefully signals: "fuck me" to any Top Man who might see them. i like subtle signals that those who are looking for them cannot miss, that'll make a Man do a double take and start wondering.

i loved Your entire post Baretop4ever. Thank You for taking the time to share Your thoughts and feelings. It, and many other responses were exactly the kind of openness i was hoping for. Not to take away anything from Your entire response, but particularly appreciated these thoughts/feelings. When i first started having sex with Men, i was still caught in a web of a religious belief system and culture that had conditioned me to think and feel my needs and desires were "sin, broken, etc.." Yet, i could not deny my need. i'd go to a cruising place, a restroom or a park for hookup sex. Because i was so bound by my beliefs, i would literally be praying the entire time i was driving to a location to have sex, begging my idea of "God" to help me resist my desire/need. Then as soon as i had sex, i'd often cry and always felt horrible guilt and shame for what i had just done. BUT, while i was having sex, connecting with another guy, i was free from all of that. Sex for me became a sort of fix, self medication. i realized after i found my way out of my cultural/religous conditioning and came to a place of self acceptance, that those anonymous sex encounters probably saved me. They were the only acceptance and affirmation that part of me got. i cannot think of one time that having sex with another man left me (personally, not making a universal declaration) feeling "empty" or "depressed." Quite the opposite. The only emptiness or depression i ever felt having sex with a man, was when i was still bound by cultural conditioning against who i am. But it was not the sex that left me feeling empty or depressed, it was the conditioning against who i am that had that effect.

Cool, thanks for answering. i too have become more inclined towards building a connection, and continue to try for it, but find few who are inclined to try. i end up landing somewhere in the middle. When a Guy comes along who i have hopes of a deeper connection, i don't go for hook up, if there isn't anyone, hookup is gonna happen because, for me, any connection is better than none at all. As to pics, solicited or not, my personal feel (not attempting to apply this to anyone but me) is i love them, solicited or not. i feel honored when a man sends me any pic face, cock, ass, doesn't matter, i love looking at men, whether we have sex or not... kinda like going to an art museum for me. i'm a total bottom, no interest in penetrating another man orally or anally, just receiving Him. But a Mans ass? Wow, even if i have no intention of fucking it, i find it to be one of the most beautiful sights on earth and am glad whenever any guys is willing to share.

This is not a challenge, but an honest question: what is it about unsolicited nudes that you don't like?

i often find what, to me, are heteronormative ideas (often with religious underpinnings) on gay guys profiles on dating or even hook up sites. Starting this thread as a place to discuss the topic and identify notions that may influence or infiltrate the gay community. That's not to say all hetero notions, standards, ideas are bad (or good), but to put them out in the open for scrutiny and discussion. One of those notions i assign to dominant hetero/religious culture is the notion that sex, sexuality, and body parts are dirty or should only be exposed or practiced under restricted standards. E.g., i cannot count the number of profiles i have seen on gay dating sites where someone explicitly states that they don't want to see cock or ass pics. That's fine with me if it's just a personal thing, but what gets me is the superior aire that often accompanies such a declaration, as if they are above all that. As though they are not going to soil themselves with such practices, and those who do are beneath their consideration. A close companion to the pic standard is guys who don't want to take about sex on a dating or hook up site. Again, if it's just their personal thing, fine. But more often than not, there's an accompanying lecture about how 'shallow' guys are who want or discuss sex. What are some of those standards that others have run into that seemingly fly under the radar, or are out in the open, that we just seem to adopt from the dominant culture we grew up in, but may not reflect who and how we are?

Right? i had to process through the religious/cultural bs too from a bottom perspective. i wanted sex with a guy starting at age 7, but struggled, repressed and suppressed my desires till i was 27. Also a "brother." i was doing some volunteer work on a missionary ship. The Man they roomed me with for the night was a permanent crew member and 'missionary.' He seduced me into sucking His cock late that night. It was totally dark, in the wee hours of the morning, and no words passed between us. We were obviously both restless in the dark, not saying anything, but making sexual sounds. i finally could not stand it anymore and went over to His bed. He silently presented His cock, and i took Him in my mouth, a life time of need and desire released. He came quickly and i swallowed every drop. He rolled over and went to sleep and i went back to my bunk. We never acknowledged or talked about it, but the damn burst in me and i became a slut after that. i tried top a few times, but it was never right. i knew who and how i was from about age 7 and it has never changed.

^^This^^ To me what You describe is more the holistic way i see and experience connection with Men. For me, a "Top" is not just a physical expression, it's part of His psychological make up, and bottom is part mine. i do not see "cock" as only an organ between a guys legs, but as part of His psychosexual make-up. i think a person who cannot truly (not just pretending to be polite) listen or consider another is exercising maturity. To me, a guy who must be right and cannot even consider another's view, is immature and insecure. A Man who thoughtfully and truly listens to me, smiles and nods honestly acknowledging me, then says: "please turn around and bend over" is a hot Top and i wanna be bred by Him.

i do not wish i had done things differently. Any way we choose, life has wins and losses. i have, however, wondered how differently things might have gone if we'd gone the next step when i was 7. i had a crush on a neighbor boy "Danny Newberry," of the same age. One day while at his house, he took me into his bathroom, showed me an enema nozzle and explained with great excitement where it went. Nothing happened, but i was excited by his excitement. As soon as i got home, i went into our family bathroom, found the enema nozzle and slid it in my ass fantasizing about Danny doing it to me. i have wondered what would have happened had he actually been the first one to penetrate me.

i don't think there is a yes or no answer to this question. Personally, i think sexual compatibility is an important factor in an intimate, LTR. i look for guys who are self aware and can articulate about who they are and what they want.It's always surprising to me how many guys do not have that understanding or do that. But we are not generally taught how to do that in school or by our parents, so guys either figure it out, or not. i think nature demonstrates and teaches us that opposites attract. A negatively charged ion and a positively charged ion attract and bond. Put two north or south ends of a magnet together and they repel each other. i look for opposite because there's not only the attraction and bonding factors, but i think with chemistry, there can also be symbiosis. For a simple example, a Total Top and a total bottom work sexually because each of their needs gets fulfilled in meeting the needs of the other (yes, i know i am simplifying). i think one of the biggest relationship killers is a quid pro quo approach to sex. I.e., i did ___________ for you, you should do___________ for me. my need as a bottom is not met just from getting penetrated, fucked, bred, i also need/want the factor of my Top needing/wanting to penetrate, fuck and breed me. i've found the opposite to be true as well, i.e., a Top who want/needs me to want/need them. i know this is not universally true, but i think it's important when talking relationship/LTR. ideally, i want to communicate and find out as many of our kinks (to me a "kink" is just a general label for sexual needs/desires) we have in common. To me, the more we have, the better the chemistry. E.g., He is Total Top and i am total bottom, that's foundational for me. But then we both discover we love WS. To me, that's another compatibie "kink' that adds to our chemistry of attraction and provides another bonding place. The more bonding places, the stronger the relationship. lol, i've thought a lot about this.

i think labels are important as a starting place, but humans are complex and there is no standardized version of a person. The label gives us some idea as to the contents, but gotta open up the package to discover what's really inside. So, this is just my take, i don't presume to make this a universal rule or speak for anyone else. That said, my read of you is you are more versatile than Top versatile because you "love to bottom just as much." i use more qualifiers to try and help the person looking. E.g Total Top, Top, top, top versatile. For me, a Total Top doesn't want me anywhere near their hole and they are not interested in cock. They want to fuck or get sucked. i also think there is a psychology behind it. i don't see a Top in any form ever saying they "love to bottom just as much," that seems more middle ground, versatile. The "love" part, to me, is part of your wiring, psychological make up. Maybe consider introspectively the what and why behind why you love to top and why you love to bottom. What are the physical reasons, what are the emotional reasons? Conversely, i identify as "total bottom." For me, the physical part is i get penetrated and never penetrate. Not with my penis, finger, tongue, dildo, etc.. i'm so bottom, i don't even like to penetrate myself, and me masturbating my penis may feel good physically, but i am always disappointed about it. i want to only come when a Top gives me an orgasm from penetrating me. If i don't cum that way and from Him making it happen, i'd rather not cum. For me, His orgasm is my orgasm. I.e., when He cums inside of me, it's like His orgasm leaves Him and becomes mine. my equipment works, i get hard as a rock, but i only get hard when a Top is expressing interest in penetrating me. If a guy wants to use, or wants me to use my penis, i cannot get hard, i stay soft and small. lol, so i put myself on the extreme bottom side of the spectrum i see a Total Top as an opposite version of that.

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Great topic, thanks for putting it out there Sharp-edge. i have been a lifelong cum dump, if You have a need to breed, i have a reciprocal need to be bred. i'd say 90% of my sex life with men has been anonymous seed and go. But it's never been my ideal. my attempts to have a ltr relationship have never been reciprocated, and that is not for lack of trying. i compromise with hook up sex, but it's never been my ideal, i'm ridiculously romantic, which may be what scares guys away, idk. i have to hold back because it seems i seem to do nothing but scare guys away when i try to get to know them. i have not found many guys who want an in depth emotional/psychological connection, or who want to put in the work to have one, so i just shut up and bend over. Which is better than nothing. No, honestly, it can be awesome to receive a mans desire and pleasure, but i am so aware that it could be even more, so it frustrates me. It's not just a bottom phenomena, i look for compatibility in relationship because i think that is what sustains a relationship. Read my profiles on dating sites, and i go into great detail about this. IOW, i think if the "craving" is mutual, the relationship is symbiotic and sustainable vs quid pro quo, which i think is not. Something i put in all my profiles on ltr type sites is i think a Mans "cock" goes way beyond the organ between His legs, that it is His nature and an intrinsic part of His whole being... and that's true about me too as a bottom. i'd rather go without sex if the Top i am with doesn't want me as much as i want them, the challenge i have is not many guys want to explore depth in relationship, and i think we miss out because of that.