tallslenderguy

wouldn't that be flipping it outside in?

Not necessarily at a sauna, but i have had this happen a (comparatively) few times with anonymous hook ups. i've had thousands of those, and the guys i have "fallen" for i could probably count on 2 hands, so there is something unique and special about it, though i cannot exactly say what? It's more/different than sex or lust, i've had enough of that to know the difference. For me, it has been an energy, a connection that goes beyond physcal feel or appearance, with several of the guys, i did not even see them because i was on my stomach. But i have literally had to bite my mattress to keep from blurting "i love you" to a few guys. There was one anonymous guy who was a regular FB that i fell pretty hard for, again, never saw Him but i loved Him. He stopped breeding me after i became poz. i told Him and he thanked me for telling Him, but it ended after that. i still miss Him, not just the breeding, but Him. Another Top picked me up at a gay resort and we spent the weekend together. He was a Dom of the 'coach' variety. He was very affectionate and affirming, in a sort of degrading way. He was really insightful and skilled and He regressed me to being His "good boy." Was a total mind fuck for me, a first and have yet to ever experience that again, it was very real. my emotional response to Him was adoration, fell really hard for Him, and i think He liked me too, but rejected me after finding out i'm poz.

As others have noted, this is more an estimate than a real number. i've been taking cock for 40 years. A cock a day would put me at the ~15000 mark. There have been years where taking anonymous cock was a daily thing. And given the places and nature of taking anonymous cock, it's not been unusual for me to have had 5 to 15 cocks in a day at a cruise spot or GH. CL used to be a good source for me, i'd run an ad for anonymous walk in at my house and those ad's often got 3-5 cocks. Accounting for off days, i suspect i am somewhere in the 4-6K range? Maybe more. edit: i wouldn't mind having the same Guy in my life, part of me wishes for Him. Some of those numbers include repeat fuck buddies, but the majority have been anonymous cock, probably 90% i didn't even see the Top because i was on my stomach or ass to a GH.

This is from aidsmap, which does a good job i think providing evidence based information about HIV/aids. One of the things that causes lots of confusion in healthcare is authority and/or speculative vs evidence based information on healthcare topics. I.e., people, even legitimate lettered scientists, will draw conclusions or speculate based on their expertise (or lack of the same) instead of study based evidence. That kind of speculation is not without value, it's how theories get traction, theories that will hopefully be tested in quality, large double blind randomized studies that result in evidence, and then hopefully those studies get independently replicated by other scientists and it all gets published in reputable scientific journals where the entire population of scientists can scrutinize the results. Scientific evidence is not immutable 'truth', it's the best we know right now. The only place one can get "immutable truth" is at church (that's tongue in cheek guys). Meanwhile, evidence based is considered by most scientists to be the gold standard. "Key points HIV drug resistance can only arise in PrEP users if they take PrEP when they already have HIV. This is why you should get tested for HIV before you start PrEP, and keep testing regularly. If you take PrEP as directed, you won’t catch HIV, you won’t develop drug resistance, and PrEP will continue to work. A study has found that, in a largely gay HIV-positive population with adequate treatment levels, at most one in 500 cases of HIV infection featured a virus that might possibly be resistant to PrEP. There are differing views on how much PrEP use will add to the burden of HIV drug resistance. But its contribution will be small, compared to the impact of lack of support for adherence and for regular viral load testing in people living with HIV." [think before following links] [think before following links] [think before following links] https://www.aidsmap.com/about-hiv/prep-and-drug-resistance

i love this. i'm one of those bottoms who will clean out all the way to my mouth it seems lol. The worst thing for me is a Top who is turned off. i love how you get that "trash talk" can open a bottom... well, it does me. A Top telling me about His desires to penetrated me is the only thing that makes me hard. i get hard and my hole practically twitches. if a guy talks about using my penis it stays soft, so to me it seems sort of like a womans that gets engorged when a Man is wanting to fuck. A Top talking to me about getting into my hole opens it right up, and a probing tongue will at first meet a little resistance and then my hole goes the opposite way and relaxes and opens, giving in immediately. The only thing that may make me tighten is a dry finger. Really, finger, dildo, tongue, words, all can be "cock" when the Top delivering them is connected to what He is doing, i can feel the difference and i think it's the Tops energy and connection to what He is doing is what latches on to my desire (need?) to open and submit to Him.

i have no problem being naked when alone at home. i sleep naked and wander around the house naked. But around other people? i'm pretty shy about my body and self conscious, being naked is not something i want to do on my own. Maybe oddly, i like it when a Top wants me naked, the power/psychological dynamic i guess? i get turned on when a Top uses nakedness to make a Top/bottom distinction. Maybe He has a really hot body or is muscled and the contrast is evident (i'm tall and skinny). i read a profile from a really muscled Top once where He wrote: "i don't care if you are in shape, I'm in shape so you don't have to be." To me, that really emphasized a power dynamic in a more subtle way.

i've never been drunk or stoned in my life. i've never even had a beer, though i do have an occasional glass of wine with dinner if out with friends who are having wine. i was around a ton of drugs growing up, i just never took them. As a critical care nurse, i have seen to many of the affects of stuff like meth and it's not worth the risk for me. Having said that, i have used poppers. Not really into using them on my self, but find it extremely hot when a Top poppers me. i think i probably get off on the submission and control aspect of it more than the actual poppers. i don't like to be forced, shamed or bullied to do anything. That shuts me down. But when i see and feel the lustful pleasure a Top gets controlling me, i open right up.... and i have had lots of Tops tell me they love to use poppers on a bottom because it "opens them up." They do me, in more than one way.

i love a mans ass. It's arguably my favorite part of His anatomy, which i find strange as a total bottom. But penetrating a Man in any way feels 'top' to me, or maybe it feels like a bottom thing for him to want it? idk, but i don't want to penetrate a man with my finger, a toy, my tongue... anything. But i will kiss His ass and love to touch and hold it, not His hole though. i do think it's a guys response to having his ass eaten that makes him in some way bottom to me.

i don't feel the actual cum going in, but definitely do afterwards. If the Top deposits it deep, it may take awhile, but as the cum works it's way down, my body gets that sensation of needing to expel... which i won't do, i clench and hold it in. i don't want to lose any of His cum, so this in when i really feel His cum inside, when i am doing Kegels to hold it in. The pressure to expel passes and i retain Him inside of me, but i can often still feel that part of Him.

really? It hasn't ever had that effect on me, just mixes with His seed and i hold it all in and absorb as much as i can. i have slept overnight with a Tops piss in me and by morning it is mostly absorbed. When i pee, i can smell His piss in my pee. For me it's an awesome form of impregnation. The first time a Top pissed in me was without discussion or asking. He was a regular FB who bred me regularly, this time He stayed deep and pissed after. i was startled when i realized what He was doing, but He knew me well and whispered in my ear how good He felt and i got turned on by His pleasure and lust and immediately submitted. He felt my response and snickered saying something like: "yeah, your my piss slut now." He was right.

It was bound to happen (i.e., the new law). The sad part is that it had to become a law in the first place, that there are enough uncivilized people violating other peoples volition that laws have to be made to deal with them. When we do not govern ourselves, others step in and do so. Others who are often not familiar or accepting of gay people. i was arrested once for asking an undercover cop to fuck me. He was at a gay cruising site pretending to be gay. i was charged using a 100 year old 'sodomy law' that made my request a felony. i got a judge who laughed and reduced it to a misdemeanor, thinking he was liberal and doing me a great favor, but i should not have been charged with a crime in the first place. my point is, there are a whole lot of people out there who think being gay is evil and would love to see us locked up, or worse. We do not need to be giving these people just cause to condem gays... and that can happen. i can take you into churches filled with people who voted for Mike Pence, who won't let a gay person teach their kids because being gay is equal to being a child molester in their minds. These people think in general, all encompassing terms, grouping all gay people together.. Many here are not old enough to have experienced this mentality, but it is still out there, just not as socially acceptable now. Give them an opportunity and they will come crawling out of the wood work declaring their righteous cause against gay people.

i've never come out to the whole world, but i think i understand the sentiment behind the question. For me, one of the challenges of being gay is having to come out over and over. i am not stereotypically gay, people don't look at me and just know. i have more women hit on me than men, and that is often when i have to, yet again, "come out." i have to explain to women who are interested in me that, hey, i'm gay. They are always surprised. i don't hide it, i just live and if it comes up, i have no problem being open about it. The first time i "came out" publicly was at church. Yep. my story is all over this site in pieces, but the short version is a grew up in a religious culture and spent a lot of my life trying not to be gay. So, my first coming out was "confessing my sin of being attracted to guys." This was the late 70's and gays were just starting to get some acceptance, religious organizations were not accepting as a rule and they didn't really have a clue of what it meant to be gay. The church i was part of equated it with alcoholism lol. Admitting my attraction to guys was one of the hardest things i ever did, and they didn't even get it. It took all of my courage, and all they did was circle me and pray for me and never mention it again. It was clear to me that they didn't get it and i ended up feeling more alone and isolated than i did before coming out. i've come out many times since then, really long story. i came to a place of self acceptance in 2006. For me, that was my real coming out, coming out to myself and accepting myself for who i am.

Just re-read (most) of this discussion. i posted pretty early on and now have some retrospective understanding. For perspective, i'm a critical care nurse and have volunteered to care for Covid poz patients since March of 2020, i have >1500 hours of direct care for Covid poz patients. It's been a wild ride, and not over yet. The last couple of months we have had double the Covid patients where i work than we did at any time last year. Delta variant. 92% unvaccinated, and that number seems to be pretty standard nation wide. When i first posted, we knew Covid was transmitted air borne, and now we know it can also be enteric (i.e., the digestive system). So, sucking a cock of a guy who has fucked an ass of a guy who has an enteric Covid infection increases risk. The virus has a shell that helps it survive stomach acid, so it can be transmitted fecally. That said, i have only had one patient who had a Covid enteric infection, which is just an anecdotal and personal observation. Either way, it isn't just a respiratory disease. To date, i have had very little sex since Covid. i don't like aps, so most of my hook up was at cruising locations. That ended for me March 2020 and i have not been to any cruising location since then. i got vaccinated December 2020 and am getting a booster this week. But evidence has demonstrated that the Pfizer vaccine dropped to as low as 20% efficacy, so while it is a fantastic weapon against Covid, it is not a panacea. i, apparently, was unable to find a way to be what i perceive as an "ethical slut." I.e., i haven't been a practicing slut since before Covid.

idk. If they qualified that they were Top or bottom or versatile and "just looking for fun," at least they are giving some information. i do think some of them are afraid to say what they really want, that they don't want to be identified? i have no problem with someone having their own particular taste or standards. i honestly do not want anyone who doesn't want me too. Gotta be mutual for me. That's a whole lot easier to discern and navigate at a cruising location. i can see in a few seconds if a guy is interested or not and simply move on. Aps don't have the advantage of visual cues which make up ao much of communication. i think this is especially true with gay guys. Before the advent of aps and the net, all we had was cruising locations and 'gaydar' lol. i have had some amazing sex with guys just from a glance and a slight gesture. They touch their crotch to communicate what they want, and that's all it takes. i don't do a lot of hooking up via aps since the demise of CL. That used to work pretty well for me for anonymous breed and go, i'd pretty much always get someone, and sometimes multiple guys who were real (along with the flakes). But prior to Covid, i was more often going to actual cruisy places to hook. So much easier and more reliable than aps. The only place i have run into hot guy syndrome is at a bath house or sex club, and honestly, i can usually find someone there as well because i just go for the guys everyone else seems to be avoiding. i can't remember the last time i went to an actual cruise location and didn't get something, but happens all the time with aps. i think aps have messed hook up sex up and avoid them if i can.

Right? This eternally mystifies me. These guys don't seem to realize they are online and there are no cues other than what they write to tell others about them. The ones that really make my jaw drop are the ones with no picture or text. Sort of like going to a cruising park and hiding behind a tree to make sure no one notices you. Then there are the profiles that have words with no meaning. my favorite are those who say: "Just looking for fun." As if everyone should know what their idea of "fun" is lol. sigh

1. That humankind will no longer want or pursue war or violence 2. perfect health for everyone 3. An end to planet destroying practices

This is what can happen when the religious right gets in power. They have an anti gay agenda. "...President Andrzej Duda campaigned for reelection on an anti-LGBTQ platform — and won last month." ("last month" was July 2021) "While gays and lesbians have never had the legal right to marry or to form civil unions in Poland, as is permitted in much of Europe, many felt confident until not long ago that Polish society was becoming more accepting and that those rights would one day come. They have instead faced a furious backlash from the Roman Catholic Church and the government under the ruling Law and Justice party. Duda proposed a constitutional amendment to prevent same-sex couples from adopting children. Last year, the Catholic archbishop of Krakow warned of a “rainbow plague,” and Law and Justice has described LGBTQ rights as a threat to families and Poland’s Catholic identity." [think before following links] https://www.latimes.com/world-nation/story/2020-08-06/lgbt-people-poland-choosing-to-leave

You have only had one experience (attempting) to top. Your experience doesn't define you, your needs and desires do. It's possible to be a total top and have ED. I'd put it down to first time nerves. Few people can recount a 'porn quality' experience with their first sexual encounter. Yeah, i know you have sexual experience, but not with fucking guys. Reality is generally different from what we imagine it should be or is. Like others have mentioned, i too believe experience will help you know more what works and what does not for you.

This is what the FDA says about fat redistribution and Triumeq... i know, not definitive, but then, there may be no definitive evidence. "5.6 Fat Redistribution Redistribution/accumulation of body fat including central obesity, dorsocervical fat enlargement (buffalo hump), peripheral wasting, facial wasting, breast enlargement, and “cushingoid appearance” have been observed in patients receiving antiretroviral therapy. The mechanism and long-term consequences of these events are currently unknown. A causal relationship has not been established." [think before following links] [think before following links] https://www.accessdata.fda.gov/drugsatfda_docs/label/2014/205551s000lbl.pdf

Poly makes sense to me on several levels for those looking for ongoing relationship with more than one person vs open relationship. I think traditional heteronormative relationship has a lot of holes, and not usually the fuckable kind. It makes sense to me that more people means more needs/desires being met, but requires maturity and commitment to certain principles of relationship. When I first divorced, I thought I might be Bi ( I’m not), so poly made sense fro that perspective and I dated a Ftm who was in relationship with a woman and both were looking for a third. Didn’t work sexually for me and helped me realize I’m gay, not bi, but there was a lot I liked about the relationship. I could see myself in a relationship with other gay guys, and there are poly sites where people are looking.

i sort of get how some are into "gifting" or "chasing," though i do not relate. As long as consent is part of the equation, it's their choice. Personally, i don't want to be sick or feel awful, and that's what happens with AID's. i don't want to have a chronic disease where i have to take meds every day for the rest of my life, but that's what happens with HIV if you don't want to progress to AID's. i have never been stoned or drunk in my life. i have been around drugs and alcohol from a young age, so i have seen a lot of their effects, lived with people who use extensively. i'm also a critical care nurse and have cared for more meth patients than i want to count, who have destroyed their heart or brain from meth use. i don't want that either, for me, it is not a good trade off for what ever pleasure i might derive from their use. i'm also a Covid nurse and more recently all my patients have been younger people who did not get vaccinated for whatever reason. So far, not one of those people has told me how happy they are to have Covid, each instead has told me they wished they had gotten vaccinated. Each was confident that Covid was something different than it is and the reality of it was a shock. It's different that HIV, but there is a similar component that fantasy and reality are two different things. Our ideas and reality do not always aline.

Playing this out in my head, it seems to me the guy was romancing you for the sole purpose of converting you. I.e., he had no interest in you, but was only interested in spreading disease. i guess that could work for those who have a reciprocal disease fetish, but the fact you are on PrEP indicates you do not fetishize disease. You also seem to like having a connection with a person beyond sex, you met for drinks vs just bending over in an ally. He too seems to want a sort of connection, but only with someone he can poz. i do wonder where it would have gone had you been a chaser? Does his fantasy go beyond pozzing guys? Is he the equivalent of the straight guy who's sole purpose it to get a girl pregnant then disappear? Or is he prepared to stick around after he 'impregnates' a guy and help care for and pay for the 'baby?' i'm not seeing that fantasy play out with the "gifters" and "chasers" i have encountered. There doesn't usually seem to be a relationship component beyond pozzing.

Reading through this stuff (and it seems like i am stating the obvious here?); your partner is hiding the reason he will not let you top him because he is afraid if he reveals the reason why, he may lose you. So it sort of seems up for grabs. Since you do not know the reason, you cannot really assure him that he will not lose you if you know why he will not let you top him. On the other hand, it seems he will not divulge the reason because of his fear. His fear is what seems central to me? Once his fear is overcome, you will at least know the reason why, but that does not guarantee you will be topping him? Sounds to me like a relationship counselor might help matters.

@PhoenixGeoff, enjoyed your wit and i think @AirmaxUK makes some great points. i tend to agree that finding people IRL is the better option for the gay community... or for the whole concept of 'community' in general. When i think about it, the age group referenced in the OP is the first generation to be raised with all the apps and tech as part of their 'IRL', so they do not have the same foundation or frame of reference that those of us who came out during the cruise park era have. I love and miss the kind of connections/consent PG speaks of, that somehow seemed primarily, if not uniquely, gay. i have countless examples of such sexploits. i was driving down a busy road one day and a guy pulls up next to me and glances over. Our eyes met (that was all) and he pulled up in front of me and i followed him into a Burger King parking lot. He went in to BK, i followed him into the restroom. He locked the door behind me, i dropped my pants and he bent me over and bred me, pulled up his pants without either of us ever speaking a word, unlocked the door and left. i had to scramble to lock the door behind him so i could get my pants up lol. Gaydar has been replaced by Grindar. Gaydar didn't always work, but then, neither does Grindar, and i got a hell of a lot more sex, and faster, cruising than i ever have using apps. i say that, but to be honest, it may not be entirely true, i got a lot of anonymous walk in sex from CL, but it always took longer than cruising. And, i never experienced a "no show" or "ghost" at a restroom glory hole. i also remember being the 18 year old in the restroom gazing longingly through a glory hole. At that age, i was still caught in a cultural/religious web of self rejection, but i'd still go to restrooms to read the writing on the walls and be near other guys who wanted what i did. i know that same culture still exists, even in the 21st century. We did just have an openly anti gay vice president for 4 years and half the US population put him in office, so it makes sense that being the kid of one of those people is gonna involve some challenges to self acceptance if you happen to be on the other side of their wall. We see the differences, but we do not have their perspective any more than they have ours. Media (not just 'social,' but movies, tv shows) has certainly changed, but take a look who the writers are, and they are all still mostly middle aged white guys writing the scripts for "kids." Kids watch and learn, but they also learn from their parents, so there's likely a mixed message in many of their lives. Things were getting better for gays when i was a kid, but it took awhile for it to undo the conditioning i had from religion and my parents.

This happened in 1998, i hope no such thing would happen in this day and age. Straight people 'cruise' each other all the time, pick up each other in bars, etc. You don't find vice cops at straight bars busting straight people for asking each other if they want to have sex, only if money is involved. It's just an example of anti gay laws and those who love them. Honestly, i think it's insane that it could happen even in 1998.