NLbear

Difficult. Socially: Nowadays I don't really feel like I am part of a LGBT "community". But that is probably because here in NL nobody raises an eyebrow anymore about same sex relationships, marriages or gay couples having kids. It's all very "normal" (if I may call it that). Sure, there are exceptions but overall gays are not different from straights in public or in society. Politicians won't dare to make any insulting remarks. They would be slammed in the press and on social media and it would be political suicide. Even the Christian parties in parliament (except for one very small one ) won't dare, they just say they don't really 'approve'. Nobody listens to religious people anymore anyway, hardly anyone goes to church anymore. Religion only plays a very tiny role in society over here. It was very different when I started out when I was 17 late 70s and moved to the big city to study. I had crushes on teachers even in elementary school but at that age I didn't even realize what that was. I just thought I liked them. It wasn't until high school that I realized I was different from most and felt left out. Surely I was the only one having indecent thoughts about other guys? There must have been others but I didn't know them. When I was 13/14 I started to realize there were others and that there was a name for it: gay (or 'homo' at that time). And there were lots of them in bigger cities far away. So when I moved to the big city for college at 16 - soon to be 17- and I worked up the courage to go to a 'gay' student bar (drinking age at that time was 16, it's 18 now) I felt overwhelmed. Here were boys/guys dancing and flirting with each other and just having a good time with not a scare in the world. There were parties and discussion and social groups and support organizations. That's the first time when I felt I was part of a "community" and I belonged to something. And it felt very good. All this has changed over the years as it has become common now. As for sex: Only took very little time after going to that bar for the first time (and having discovered the cruising area by word of mouth) that I sucked dick and was fucked for the first time in an AVS. And scored tricks in bars or clubs with whoever thought I was hot (looking for confirmation?) or hot for that night or who thought I had a hot ass and was 'easy'.... And I was 'new meat' so there were plenty of them, whether they were my age or old (i.e. anyone >30 at that time). And I loved being part of the "community" of men that simply liked having sex with other men without any hang ups. Hanging out with friends (who you were not going to sleep with!) guessing who would be going home with whom and tease them about that the next time. And them teasing me too of course ("really!! Him? How could you! Was he any good? What's his dick like?). Haven't stopped having sex with strangers since. Considering the number of gay men is so much smaller than the number of straight men I still feel I am part of a 'group' but I don't feel I am part of a "community" anymore. Maybe I would still feel that way when I would be a regular at a certain bar and you know the other regulars there (not necessarily have sex with them, just 'friends') but there aren't any around where I live now. Long reply but I hope this make sense?

I have a dildo and a butt plug but hardly every use them or play with them. Just doesn't feel the same. I have a Jeff Stryker which is big and pretty flexible but just can't get into it. Doesn't do much for me so after trying it out a few times it's just lying there in a drawer. I know some guy like using a butt plug, stick it in and keep it in after sex but I don't really like the feeling walking around with that thing in my ass. Only a few times a top has used my dildo as part of the play. That's cool. I know it will be replaced by the real thing in that session. Another reason may be that I simply don't like to go through the cleaning process just to use a dildo on myself. Too much effort for not getting a real dick in the end. Pity, as I like vids of bottoms enjoying themselves with a dildo but it's just not for me.

Different tops, different likes. I usually get hard. Not always, but a skilled top gets me hard pretty easily or at least semi-hard. Some tops say it is a turn-on their fucking makes me hard. It proves their skills as a top and what they can do to me with their dick. Sometimes I stay soft but when he hits the right spot I start leaking pre-cum from my flacid dick. Feels amazing. Again, some tops are turned on by this, others don't like it when I get hard or start leaking cum but I can't help it. I know others here feel different about this but when a top makes me hard or cum by just fucking me those are the best sessions for me.

Exactly how I remember my first time too. It has been my favorite way of cumming ever since. I have a FB who does this to me almost every time we fuck. Which I guess is why he is my FB ;-) !

I admit a really big thick cock can be a bit of a struggle at first. But with some patience and time a bottom shouldn't have an issue and actually enjoy it. Just don't expect to go balls deep at first stroke ;-) I hope you're helping out your bud! Would be a shame if he doesn't top anymore on account of his size....

Bars, cruising areas and ads in porn magazines. There are novels which describe gay (sex) life in those days.

Just explore the topics and threads in the various sections on this site and you'll learn a lot.

I have been on my back on a outdoors rotating fuck table, which I think is called a Lazy Daisy? In Gran Canaria an older couple took turns. One fucking and the other feeding me his dick like a spit roast. Then they'd pull out, rotate the table and continue switching every few minutes. Was hot and drew attention from others who watched (and some took over when the couple was done). Don't think there's an etiquette as long as you're willing to take whoever wants to have a go and don't refuse anyone. If you want to be picky don't get on that table/bench.

I was always mesmerized by Brad Patton's dick. Not the biggest in the business but certainly one of the thickest. In his days at least. His innocent face didn't look so innocent anymore when he took that thing out of his pants ;-) Anyone knows what he's doing now?

You're in for a treat ;-)

Make it a weekly event ;-)

Nowadays the first time is always anonymous. If he becomes a regular you learn a little bit more about each other (and it's not really anon anymore) but we never socialize in public or go out on dates like straights may do (if those even start with sex first and socializing later, probably the other way around). When I was a student and went to (gay or mixed) dance clubs or bars it was social interaction first (trying to pick up the trick of the evening). Didn't stop me from going to the cruising park for anon dick afterwards though. The danger and rush of excitement doing that was hard to beat. It has happened that I bumped into guys in a dance club who had banged me in the park. If we both hadn't 'scored' by the end of the evening we both knew the other was in for NSA 'easy sex' and end up either at his or my place or we would meet in the park later.

Well, he got what he wanted ;-) Is he gay or did you think he was straight? Never an indication he wanted more than just a friendship (and a bottle of wine)?

Yes. Don't worry about the blurred boundaries. As long as you like getting fucked by him who cares? And as you say, he can only go so far considering his home situation. Unless of course he's in a sexless relationship, but then it becomes a whole different story. For now I would just see it as a professional relationship with a bonus.

One of the best on Xtube. In the comments it's said it's a personal vid of Austin Wolfe (top). Correct? Anyone know who the gorgeous bottom is?

Enjoy it. Nothing wrong with a professional relationship with benefits (and you can benefit from it professionally too. Him and his network). And you both like the sex. I understand he checked you out online. Probably standard when one wants to develop a professional relationship. After all employers check out the online profiles of candidates for a job too. He's just being careful who he's doing business with. It may only become a problem when the sex becomes a condition to take the professional relationship further. Like fucking you becomes a condition to continue the project or start a new one or refer you to his network. If you want to end the sex it may also be the end of the professional relationship. Not saying this will be the case but it could. Just keep that in mind. But for now I would say: go for it! If your boyfriend and his partner don't mind (if they even know or care).

You can always give Kamagra a try and see if it works for you. Here it's orderable online and not as expensive. I admit it could be a hit or miss but usually works for me.

There have been so many. One that stuck was when I was very young (17-18) and cruising the city park at night. Was still there close to 6am (you know the feeling: 'just one more.....') when I met a guy. He said people would start walking their dogs soon so suggested the half secluded parking lot in the back of a department store across the street. There was a small building on the parking lot and we started making out next to it. He was still banging me when two trucks arrived with deliveries. Truckers got out and started chatting. Guy finished in me and we were quiet and waiting for an opportunity to leave unseen. Soon became clear the truckers weren't going anywhere. Made a beeline for the exit and could feel the truckers eyes burning in my back. Heard one of the say: "what the fuck?". LOL. Glad I found the place though, used it many times after that only not so late/early in the morning.