wood

stayed the same, I just dont worry anymore.

I always find honesty is the best option, with the correct approach. If you broach the subject of condomless sex first with stuff like, "do you ever play raw" you will probably get less of a rejection that if you just say, blow nut in me. Also for me, a couple of my FB's are poz undetectable, which works great, especially with PrEP

Well I told him this and he didnt listen, so I dont know what to tell him at this point. Well I should have worded my statement better, but I think this was another one where I was past the edit time. (note: rawtop increase the edit time limit) I am FULLY aware that it is not HIV+ people who know their status that are infecting most people. The main reason I am all for disclosure is simply because I believe in sexual honesty. With that said I 110% agree with your last statement. My method of testing would be very unpopular but really I would mandate testing at least once per year and tie it to your taxes. There are simply too many people not getting tested, and as you rightly point out that is driving new infections. All school age children, especially middle and high school I would say should get tested twice per year, and I think that student loan apps and colleges should also require tests. Not even joking its borderline socialist, but I bet that combined with immediate treatment would have a drastic drop in new infections.

Sorry still gotta at least partially disagree. If people cared they would just ask what is your HIV status, but there is a two fold problem with that. One the person may like the guy, so he doesnt want to offend him by actually asking direct questions. Two, People dont even want to say the words err intials HIV or AIDS!!!! Its easier and more distant from them if they just say "are you clean" Do I agree, hell no, but I dont think people are gonna stop anytime soon. And as usual I agree on the other stuff you wrote here. One of the reasons I have no problem with undetectable guys is because I know the chance of infection to me is low, even if I wasnt on PrEP. On PrEP its practically non-existent. On the issue of being versatile I begrudgingly agree. I LOVE being vertisle and do both at about a 50/50 ratio, but I also know the stuff you said Prior. Besides my own personal health one of the main reasons I started PrEP is because I Dont want to pass anything on to anyone. With that said I am not going to stop being versitle, but I will stay on PrEP, and get full panels every 3 months like i always do.

repost. https://breeding.zone/threads/25762-New-study-No-one-undetectable-gay-or-heterosexual-transmits-HIV-in-2-year-study

I will eventually get around to responding to all of your thread, but this did strike me. I have never thought about "bareback" sex as a fetish. I have always just viewed it as sex. I know bearbandit has said the same thing before. I say this because I have always found there is a disconnect in the gay community about sex without condoms. Straight people dont say "OMG did you bareback her!?!" or "yeah breed me!!" Its just sex. Sex without a rubber? yeah so? I wanted the more intimate feeling. I guess I just fail to see how something that comes naturally to animals (sex) is fetishised for using something thats not natural. Additionally, as you alluded to before the same people that may vilify you in public about not using protection are the same ones who wont always use condoms themselves. Its a really wierd dynamic, that I honestly think has a lot to do with why HIV is transmitted.

lol A lot has happened in this thread, can you be more specific?

Im sure its good for at least a year, and as poz1956 said, its probably just a swab and container, the reagent (mixing liquid for testing) is probably added on site.

I can safely say that this is the kind of fetish that I will never understand.

LOL Exactly. Its probably just practice, but I like it when its easy to get in a bottom, but they have great muscle control otherwise. If I had to quantify it I would say I want to be fully in them and at least slow fucking within 30-45 seconds, during the fuck I want them to be tight enough I can feel their walls, maybe loosening up and tightening a few times, then when I get close, get real tight and milk my nut out. Thats what I do when I bottom, Lol.

So I tried to edit that last reponse because my wording was way off on a few things, but time expired, ces't la vie.

Heres my main issue with this. #1 Its the lying part. I just dont think anyone should lie. #2 I think all gay men like to beat around the bush when it comes to HIV, and again no one wants to offend anyone, or really ask, so they say, "Are you clean" We can all pretend not to know what they are asking but we all do. The only gray area is when someone is asking before sex if they cleaned out inside. Otherwise they are asking HIV status. Do I like or agree with using the word clean to describe HIV or other STI's Hell no. But playing dumb is no excuse IMO. Yes, and no. I know plenty of guys that go to the baths that I wouldnt describe as whores or pigs. In fact most I know use condoms there. So this is one reason it bothers me that people want to describe the baths as a free for all where anything goes and you should just accept getting HIV, because no one will use condoms or discuss status, and even if they do its okay for them to lie because its the baths. Hell I have been to bathhouses numerous times and havent ever hooked up beyond making out and touching, so not everyone is there to collect cum. I doubt you do, but the people on here that dont know my responses probably think I am just some nut out to make poz guys life miserable, and thats not the case. I respond to these threads because I believe in disclosure during sex. I have been lied to about status before and got calls from the health department about guys I fucked who tested HIV+ With PrEP its much less of a worry, but I still like to be informed, and really status doesnt bother me. Yes I may be in the minority on that, but there are neg guys out there who are open to poz men. The construction guy sounds like he is just uneducated. Could he sue? yeah but it would get thrown out immediately, just like probably any bathhouse case would. However like I stated before IMO that doesnt make bathhouses a free for all where its okay to lie. Your last comment actually made me think the most. I dont think HIV+ people are "fucked" but they really do have to do a lot more when it comes to sex, and life in general. What bothers me about this forum the most is the glorification of HIV. They tend to ignore all the bad aspects of HIV infection while vastly inflating the idea of carefree sex. It still boggles my mind that anyone considers HIV freeing, when its a lifelong illness that makes you dependent on medication, and people will discriminate against you for it. A good friend of mine has been seeing a guy for 4 months, and they havent had sex. For him its under the guise of "waiting" but in reality hes HIV+ and scared shitless to get rejected by the guy cause he really likes him. In my time in outreach and testing as well as through friends, lovers, and hookups I have probably met hundreds if not thousands of HIV+ people, and not one ever said they are glad it happened. The ONLY time I ever hear that is on here through a screen, so it makes it very difficult to believe. This sounds like a downer statement, and I'm sorry because I dont mean for it to be, but I think way too many people in here dont hear what the guys that have lived through the worst of it are saying. Bearbandit, and poz1956 have a perspective that few on here seem to realize. They are from a generation that died off, and now they are at an age where they can fully see the "negative" side of things as older men who are still alive and now healthy. There is an older guy I am hooking up with right now who is undetectable. Im 30, hes 46, and looks probably 35. What gets me everytime about him that despite being healthy is that its obvious HIV weighs on him. Its a profound image of a person who at first glance has a great life, but has been relegated to certain things he really didnt want because of HIV. He doesnt have a husband despite wanting one because of dating issues; he kept the job he has longer that he's wanted to keep decent health insurance; He uses hookup apps where being HIV+ is more accepted despite wanting more than that. HIV isnt a death sentence, and plenty of people live great happy lives with it, but it is something that will change every aspect of a persons life, and that just doesn't seem to enter into the mind of so many people on here. Lastly as I thought about it more, the other reason non-disclosure bothers me so much is that I want to see a generation of men that DONT have to worry about HIV, and until we stop infecting each other its not gonna happen. The fantastic part now is that with early treatment, Tasp, and PrEP, we actually could see that in my lifetime, even without a cure. But its only gonna happen if we are honest with ourselves and others.

I'm not paranoid myself because I protect myself, but this has crossed my mind more than a few times. We already know that its rare for an HIV+ on treatment to pass on infection, so where are these new infections coming from? Honestly its becoming an issue for me with this forum. I find that I rarely get throught out rational responses other than from you, and about five other people. Most of the time even in the general discussion forum there are responses like "yeah man poz his twink ass" "give him that toxic load" "give him your gift" etc etc. Hell maybe I am just jaded from hearing it at this point, but you can only hear it so many times before you start to believe it at least in some respect. Do I think its everyone? far from it, but after hearing some of the stuff in here, and knowing a bit too much about human behavior, it wouldn't surprise me if 10% of HIV+ gay men could care less about spreading HIV, or disclosing it to their partners.

While it may be easier, my view has really nothing to do with my negative status, its strictly based on how I feel about the law, and possible exposure to other people. Being blunt, it sucks, but being poz isnt easy which is why the mentality on here by some is quite puzzling to me. Becoming HIV+ doesnt free anyone, and realistically sex, and life in general only become more complicated. With that said, I agree with everything you wrote, especially about equal responsibility. When I say the onus is on the HIV+ person, its just a fact of the situation. Its like a Typhoid Mary situation. The onus was on here to let people know about her condition, but she didnt, and people became infected. The same idea can be found today in many HIV+ people looking to not hookup with people who have HCV because they dont want it, so they ask for full disclosure. To me the number one rule is NEVER LIE. If the person asks regardless of your status, its important to tell all you know, neg, pos, dont know, on PrEP, doesnt matter. Just disclose it!!

If I am reading your correctly you just want to know if a bottom can tighten their ass during or after sex? I think most can, but if they do is another story. Ive had bottoms who I thought were loose as hell one time, and have a somewhat mediocre experience give me the fuck of my life when they tightened up a bit, and milked it a bit more the next time, so yeah its easily possible. Really I am surprised more bottoms dont know to tighten up a bit when they are getting fucked. I dont want a bottom that takes forever to get inside because they complain it hurts, but when Im in there I dont want to be a hot dog in a hallway either. Hell I know when I bottom I very much make sure the top feels a nice tight ass.

OH I agree, and really IIRC a doctor in europe could probably still prescribe truvada for PrEP as an "off label" but getting any type of coverage for it may be difficult. Really though I do think the medical community has a hard time with PrEP because it goes against 30 years of ingrained ideas and processes. Yes they are telling people to still use condoms, but they know many people wont.

Personally I go farther than that. I dont enjoy name calling including bitch or cunt hole. Hell I know almost everyone on here will disagree with me, but i dont even like the word "breed". If Im topping, someone telling me to cum in them, nut in them, thats hot to me. But when they say "breed me" ehhh nope, turn off. Dont ask me why. I have no idea. I dont judge people that like other stuff but its not for me. I like good quality sex, and for me thats about intimacy, connection, affection, and lust.

Without going into all his details it wasnt an anonymous encounter. Heres the thing that I dont think people on here realize when they talk about breeding, stealthing, and infecting others. The vast majority of people DO NOT want HIV, even if they are participating in risky behavior. Thats like saying every smoker is planning on getting cancer and is completely okay with it. Like I said before I think many, if not the majority of people on here get stuck in the fantasy portion of this site without actually thinking about what they are saying, and what it could mean to another person. The OP's situation is a bit convoluted because his sex partner didnt ask any questions prior to intercourse, which was his fault. HOWEVER, he shouldnt lie about his status even if its after the fact. I dont condone complete dont ask dont tell situations, but if thats what each person wants fine. But, one should never lie IMO.

Well this wasnt always the case. It wasnt until the 1960's or so that Europe got much more stringent about its drug testing regimes. Thalidomide changed EVERYTHING about drug testing. Not just in the US, but around the world. After thalidomide it wasnt enough that one country found a drug to be "safe" many different countries wanted to test it before it would be brought to market. I agree that in certain circumstances drugs should be allowed across border without additional extensive testing. PrEP is a great example because the drug has been out for a decent amount of time in many countries and shown to be safe and effective. But I get why countries still do such extensive testing. Look at drugs like vioxx, that were later found to be dangerous. It still can happen. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thalidomide

If you ever get a chance to talk to people in prevention and outreach for real, you will get a much different picture than the public persona they are forced to put on. All the people I have ever worked with will admit that condoms usage will remain stanagant or decline, and that other things need to be done. Hell most of them admit to not always using condoms. I really like thebody.org, but thats also cause Im a dork, and there are lots of great statistics on there. The conversation is just meh, but I have also heard the a4a message boards are pretty decent.

Technically with any sexual exposure you should. With that said, The law really hasn't updated with the times. An undetectable bottom on meds poses little risk to a neg top. Even an undetectable top poses a fairly small risk to a neg bottom. However the law is pretty crystal clear on this, you must tell your partners, end of discussion. Now I doubt a district attorney would choose to prosecute say a case with an undetectable dick sucker, who sucks a neg guys dick then he freaks out. However, if a person brings up a situation where a HIV+ top not on meds, lied about his status, and infected a bottom, well, they would certainly prosecute that. Look I hate to be a "kill joy" on the fantasy portion of this site, but the laws are clear, you cant knowingly expose someone to HIV, let alone lie about it. I dont want to criminalize HIV, but I also agree with the context behind it. A good friend of mine has been battling depression for over a years and a half since his diagnosis where he was likely stealthed, because he always used protection, and always asked about HIV status and other STI's, and not just "are you clean" Sex is great guys, but sex in real life should be informed IMO. Fantasy should be left at that.

WOW, x2!! I didnt even read it all yet!!

Im not condoning either behavior, Personally I dont think anyone should ever lie about status. If you told him the truth he may have went and got PEP. With that said, he obviously wasnt taking time to make correct decisions either, and he really should if he is attempting to not get HIV or other STI's. This is the main issue, I know this isn't popular on here because it seems like so much of this site has become fantasy based, but stealthing is illegal in almost every place. People can and do get prosecuted for not telling their sexual partner about their HIV status. The other thing is that the onus is ALWAYS on the person with HIV to let the other person know their status. While it was very silly for the other person not to have a conversation with the OP before hand, it still doesn't justify your behavior in the eyes of the law. Really IMO, there are PLENTY of men out there to have sex with. let them all know your status to avoid any repercussions

One reason I am a bit curious is that I am thinking about taking a trip to south africa and I know HIV2 is somewhat more common there. While I am there, lets just say I plan on soaking up A LOT of the culture on my trip.

Pretty much. I look a lot, but hook up very little, and rarely have time for indepth conversations. Hell I think my grindr inbox has 60 some messages, its not personal, its just time management, and most of the time, hook up conversations are just not that important.