BootmanLA
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Everything posted by BootmanLA
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I'm not going to say this is right or wrong. But I will note that a lot of people on this site defend non-monogamy on the basis that biologically men aren't meant to be tied down to one person. So at the very least, there's some disagreement as to what we're "meant" to do. To which I trot out my standard response: what's "natural" or we're "meant" to do is kind of irrelevant. "Naturally" speaking, we're meant to take a dump anywhere that seems convenient, ditto for pissing, and yet the vast, overwhelming majority of us (in developed countries) long ago abandoned that practice in favor of designated enclosed facilities, be it an outhouse or a modern bathroom. We're quite capable of going against our basic instincts, even for very rudimentary bodily functions, so "should" and "meant to" and "natural" are useless words in this discussion.
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1. You'd have to ask your partner whether they're "trying to escape" from you or not. Last I checked mind-reading wasn't a commonly found attribute in Homo sapiens. 2. Imagine being in a room that's already 80 degrees and being put under five layers of blanket, and told to keep your entire body under the blankets for the next eight hours. That'll give you some idea. Or get 20 hot water bottles and fill them all with the hottest water you can get from the tap. Get into bed and line them along the front of your body from chin to thigh, and pull your sheet and blanket over you. 3. This is one of those "what's more important to you?" scenarios. If you, as the cuddler, think your desire to cuddle outweighs your partner's physical comfort, then you keep cuddling until you drive him away with your clinginess. If you want to keep him as a partner, you cuddle for a bit, and accept it when he needs to pull away to avoid body heat buildup. You have other options, like putting some space between you but draping an arm over his chest, if continued physical contact is really important. If you can't compromise on that, maybe this isn't someone with whom you could have a successful long-term relationship, at least of the sort you seem to want.
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You might be surprised to learn that there is no single age of consent for the USA. This is a matter for each state to determine on its own, and some do in fact have 16 (or less) as the legal age. That said, in Florida, the state in question, the age is indeed 18. And state age of consent laws only apply within the state. Transporting someone under 18 across state lines or enticing them to cross themselves, for a sexual purpose, is a federal crime no matter what the age of consent is in either state.
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For clarity's sake, I would stress that "rampant, anonymous raw fucking" is not the same thing as "cheating". One can be in a relationship that's open enough to allow "rampant, anonymous raw fucking" that's perfectly OK with the partners. That said, if that kind of sex is good enough that it makes seriously hurting your partner (by cheating on the rules you've agreed to) acceptable, I'd say you are not a particularly good candidate for a relationship. At least, not with anyone decent. Have all the toilet block fucks you want, dude, just don't pretend to a partner that you aren't. If you do pretend, it's pretty much declaring yourself a shit person.
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Pretty strong words for a guy who (a) deliberately chose to create an account at this site, (b) posted repeatedly about his chasing interests, and (c) posted multiple nude photos of himself, now getting all prissy and indignant because no one has gotten around to removing him from the place he deliberately inserted himself. Incidentally, you claim it's "illegal". That simply isn't so. As a resident of Ottawa, you are presumably subject to the Personal Information Protection and Electronic Documents Act, which gives you LIMITED rights to request deletion of certain data from online providers. Most importantly, PIPEDA does not provide individuals with a right to request the deletion of their personal information when it is still required for the purposes for which it was collected. In other words, if BZ needs to retain information about you because you posted information here previously, and it deems that necessary for establishing who posted what and when, it is perfectly entitled to keep your information on file. BZ may CHOOSE to let you delete your account - but the posts you made will most likely remain visible. That wouldn't necessarily be the case if you were a resident of a country with stronger privacy rights (such as within the EU). But dude, you posted it, own up to it, and grow a pair. -
Here's the thing, though. That depends on finding "the one". Or, as Dan Savage says, the 0.72 that you round up to one. And I'm not putting that down in the slightest. I have a superb relationship (if I say so myself) and I'm very, very happy with it. But I was also very happy before I met him, and if I hadn't, I'm pretty damned sure I wouldn't have been better off sticking with one of the previous guys who was, in retrospect, a 0.45 or less. And had I not met him, I'd still have been pretty happy with my life. In fact, I suspect one reason I was able to see him for what he was and add him into my life is that I was already content with what I had. The problem I see isn't in saying that relationships are wonderful; it's the attitude that the OP has that of course a partner will stay forever, unlike friends, and of course that isn't necessarily so. And I've known way, way too many people over the years who start lamenting by 25 or so if they're not in a relationship and are constantly on the lookout for "the one" who will finally make them happy. The OP's friend seems to be in a place where he's happy with his life, and while he says he's not looking for a relationship, I suspect if "the one" (or the 0.75 or whatever) came along, he might well decide it's time to settle down. But I still contend it's better to be happy with oneself and one's life first, and not be seeking someone to fill in a gap. The guys in the best relationships I've known have usually said something like "he filled a gap I didn't even realize was there" - which is diametrically opposite to the guys who have their laundry list of what they want in a relationship ready to measure each guy they meet.
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To be honest, it's not that much more bothersome than so many other "faked" things in gay porn. For instance, there's nothing sillier than a guy in a sling with his wrists clearly in restraints that are then not clipped or locked to the sling's chains - where the bottom's hanging onto the chains instead of restrained by them. Or a guy getting "flogged" who takes like three light swipes from a flogger and is moaning like he's about to cum from the intensity. Or the fuck that you know only took 3 minutes from penetration to orgasm but by mixing up multiple camera angles you get a ten-minute fuck out of it. Seriously, a huge portion of what you see in commercial porn is badly, badly faked.
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That was certainly the case for a period. But once things moved from "you're ordered to stay home unless it's an absolute necessity" to "you really should limit your outings to essential activity", the number of people circulating grew fast. And I'm not sure population size has a lot to do with it. Three of the ten largest cities in the country are in Texas, which had very limited lockdowns and where the state is constantly trying (and often succeeding) in overriding local initiatives to contain the virus.
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If you think getting barebacked by a poz top makes you a woman, may I suggest a basic human sexuality class?
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Did you allowed "repugnant" tops to cum deep inside you?
BootmanLA replied to markedmucosa's topic in General Discussion
Finally, someone who posts an honest answer instead of the latest trying to outdo everyone else in appearing depraved. -
With that clarification: sure, it would attract some guys. Thing to remember is that most guys will know you're not actually biologically dad/son, so to them, it's just two bottom partners, one older and one younger, getting fucked together. Because no matter how much you and your boy have a Dad/son relationship at home, very little of that is going to translate well to a gangbang situation. You won't be interacting much with each other than some verbal talk, and that's not a lot to hang the whole relationship on in a way that the visiting tops can appreciate. I honestly think it would be much more successful to have you watching, coaching, and egging on the tops to breed your boy, which helps them get into the headspace you seem to be aiming for. Or for the tops to fuck you while your boy has to watch and learn, so that you're "teaching" him how to take cock like a good boy. Those are, I think, scenarios that would get into the tops' heads a little better. But that's just my perception.
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Perhaps because he realizes that partners, like friends, can "come and go"? Because he realizes that a partner may well NOT "be there with you no matter what"? I'm not downgrading the value of a relationship - I'm in one myself. But I've been in three others before (I'm now 58), and each one of those "came and went". Each one of those started with "be there no matter what" right up until he wasn't any more. It may shock you to learn that the vast majority of relationships end before the death of either partner. Even legal marriages end at a pretty substantial rate. So let's not pretend that "relationship" is some magic formula that ensures you'll never be alone. In fact, I think your friend probably has a healthier outlook on relationships than you do. They're great when they happen to work out, but they don't always, and they're not always essential. And to use your metaphor, sometimes adding salt to the stew completely ruins the flavor.
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Or maybe they're just not that into you and don't want to hurt your feelings by expressing their true opinion of you. Seriously, this is as self-centered as the guy who says that in his "pure observation" restaurants exist to make you unhealthy because the only restaurants he visits serve burgers and fries. There are a multitude of reasons why people might not think sex is all that important. Some men have low testosterone levels, for instance, and their libido just isn't that great. Some men have erectile dysfunction issues and are content with other forms of affection. As I suggested, there are other forms of sexuality (asexuality, demisexuality, sapiosexuality, etc.) that might make someone feel sex is "not that important" in particular cases or relationships, none of which have anything to do with your limited worldview that it's all about dick size, appearance concerns, or STD worries). Ever stop to think that maybe the issue is YOU think sex is way too important? Why do you assume the importance YOU place on sex is normal, and anyone who doesn't agree is abnormal? While you're navel gazing, clean out the lint. It's blocking your line of sight.
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I would suggest that anyone who finds he's gotten SIX reactions on his FIRST post on a forum, all downvoting, might want to think about what he wrote and whether there's a faint chance he just didn't express himself well, or whether in fact he's being an ass.
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The differences between a Date and a Hook-Up
BootmanLA replied to Philip's topic in General Discussion
I would say that the meaning of the terms varies with the person, so much that there's no universal agreed-upon terminology. But it seems to me that in both of these cases, the guys involved seem to associate anal sex at the first meeting as "hook up" territory. That's neither wrong nor right, inherently, but that seems to be their thought process. What I would suggest, as the recipient of them expressing this, is that in the future you be more specific in your planning. If you're open to sex on the first date, make sure a guy knows that before you actually have the date. A halfway joking line, either spoken (if you met in person) or in your profie (if you met on an app/website) along the lines of "Note: I've been known to fuck on the first date, if the chemistry is there for both of us" at least lets the person know you're capable of moving at a good speed. You might also consider holding back on going all the way, as they used to say. That's not to shame casual sex, but sometimes building towards something like anal sex is more appealing for "dating". Because I think for most people, a "date" implies that if successful, it's going to advance, slowly or not, towards something more: second dates, meeting each others' friends, taking things a step farther on the sex front. When you hit anal sex on the first date, it can seem like you're skipping a bunch of steps and headed fast towards something serious. Because some guys - not suggesting how many - think of anal sex as something you do only as you get a little more serious with someone. -
Realistically, you're talking about gathering two bottoms at a time (since they're coupled), so the number of bottoms will very quickly exceed the number of tops willing to come to a sex party like that. You'd be much, much more likely to succeed if you aim for Dad/boy couples that are not both bottoms; whether the dad or the boy is the top, let the tops trade bottoms and each guy can watch his partner fuck/get fucked while he's doing the opposite. I could be wrong, of course. But in my experience and from what others report, getting enough tops for any sort of sex party is the biggest problem; starting with a pile of bottoms seems predestined to fail because to keep them all busy, you need at least two tops for every Dad/boy bottom couple you invite, and probably more, so that tops who need a breather or need time to recover between fucks can do so while not having the bottoms just lying there waiting.
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In some relationships, yes. Not in all. Under your formulation, an impotent man could never have a "healthy" relationship. Asexuals could never have a "healthy" relationship. What matters is what YOU want in a relationship; if what matters to you is having a guy dress up like a clown and rub his bright red rubber nose against your asshole until you ejaculate, then that's what YOU need for a healthy relationship. Just don't project your needs onto others. No, it's not. It's arrogant and ignorant.
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Exactly. What this is about is how much of the drug remains active in your system and for how long. With most daily drugs, the dosage is calculated such that roughly 24 hours after taking it, you're about at the point where another dose is needed to keep the levels of the drug effective. But that's an approximation. If you normally take at noon, but one day you forget and don't remember until 3 PM, go ahead and take it then (which will bump up the level in your system again). Where this gets problematic, if at all, is when you forget to take that noon dose completely, and the next morning, you have receptive anal sex with a poz guy who's got a very detectable load. That scenario combines several factors: a missed dose completely, which means the level in your system is dropping significantly lower than normal, plus a risky sex act performed with a very much potentially infectious person. After all, missing the dose but eventually making it up is "no harm, no foul" if you don't get exposed to HIV in the interim. It's not like your body "remembers" that gap and leaves you at risk. So, go ahead and shift your dosing forwards or backwards as needed to fit your new schedule. Just don't skip any days entirely AND have unprotected sex while you're waiting to take the next dose.
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I'd replace "many" in that first sentence with "a few". Seriously. I don't think there is any place on this planet with "many" confident young tops who "positively enjoy the challenge" you describe. If so, that place's location is the best-kept secret on earth.
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Which is better: Star Wars v Star Trek? 😀
BootmanLA replied to Carlos1881's topic in General Discussion
"Luke" doesn't appear in that line. The actual line is "No... I am your father" (emphasis on "I"). One of the most misquoted movie lines of all time, along with "Play it again, Sam" (it's actually "Play it, Sam".) -
Technically, you don't know he "forgot" to put them away; he could well have been just abandoning them for some reason. I wouldn't consider that stealing, since he left the gym/locker room entirely. The shower guy - that's different; he could well have just figured he'd put them back on when he got out.
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FWIW, this is a widespread and widely known phenomenon/issue in the gay community. Part of the problem is plain old ageism: anyone over a certain age is considered generally disfavored for sex. Tops get more of a pass because there are so many fewer tops than bottoms, so the "Daddy" top gets attention far later in life than a Daddy bottom. And that's not always true in every city, of course; certain places where there are lots of older gays (and where it's often too expensive for lots of younger gays to live on their own) have a more balanced approach - the tops are still busier, but they're less able to get hordes of sub-30 guys eager to get fucked regularly. The flip side is the college town, where every year thousands of young people move in, including a significant number of LGBT youth, and it's bottom city.
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FWIW: I have no problem with people adopting the occasional "get out of X free" card - whether it's a blowjob or fucking or whatever. Yes, monogamy is hard (at times) and yes, people are socialized to expect the one Disney prince and all that, but still: as many people in this thread have made clear, they have zero intention of honoring their word, not because it's hard to keep but because they never intended to keep it in the first place. Savage has also written that while cheating is *sometimes* the least bad option, that's not a blanket license to do so, which so many responding posters here have suggested.
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I certainly didn't mean to imply it was the only or even primary tool used to justify discrimination. But it was always a great fall-back when others failed, in part because black men couldn't prove they WOULD'T rape a white woman, given the chance. When the argument is "they're not smart enough to vote" you can counter with lots of examples of intelligent, well-educated people; but you can't prove a negative (that black men won't engage in certain behaviors) and that renders it stubbornly resistant to reason.
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My thought is that he uploaded to the general "user gallery" and not to a personal gallery, and now wants his picture out of there. Is that a possibility?
