for me it depends on where I meet the guy, if it is on here or bbrt I don't say anything I assume that they are on a bb hook up site cum stays in. In the past picking up guys at a bar I still bb but go slow at first to see if they react to my dick in their ass, if none (and so far there has been none) I am the one that says I am ready to cum and always it has stayed in. When I party now I have 2 house rules 1st as soon as you come in get naked, even if we don't fuck all have to be naked, 2nd cum stays in the ass when you get fucked.