PhoenixGeoff

It's been a kind of frustrating several weeks. It had been ages since I last got fucked. All of my hookups ended up with me being on top, which is fine, but a man needs a load pumped into his ass every now and then. So as it was my day off, I started out by jumping on BBRT to see who was on the prowl. And finally, a hookup with a top actually worked out! He came over to my place, had a really nice dead straight big cock, and really enjoyed fucking me good and hard. He capped off the hookup by firing off one of those loads you feel going into your ass. With my dry spell officially broken, I decided to hit one of the local bathhouses. I also resolved that I was not going to top at all while I was there this time. I got a room and went on the prowl. As it turned out, the place was hopping. By the time I left, several hours later, I had had probably a dozen guys fuck me raw. To add to the hotness, quite a few of these were in public areas of the bath, where the other patrons could watch my depraved behavior.Towards the end of the night, cleaning off the cocks that had just been pulled out of me was a joy...they were deliciously coated in sperm. Thanks to a couple early fuckers with extremely thick dicks really opening me up, I have been dripping cum from my asshole whenever someone fucks me. My hole is worn out, but extremely happy. Grand total: eight loads shot up into my ass and two swallowed. Maybe not Dawson territory, but not a bad night, all things considered.

Well, sometimes people just are genuinely curious. For people like that, I'll answer honestly, but pretty generally, without all of the gory details. And once in a blue moon, especially in a private one-on-one conversation, questions like that might be a prelude to a coming-out of sorts. On the other hand, some people are just judgmental or vindictive or trying to score points off you in front of others. Those people get shut down. It's pretty easy to tell the difference between the three, and if I can't tell, I find it easier not to assume malice. But the overwhelming majority of people really don't give a damn and aren't the least bit interested in your sex life.

I think there's a lot if truth to this. We're hardwired as human beings to prefer people from within our "tribe", that is people who look, talk, act and think like us. That's basically what culture is (all of the artistic side of culture is basically about signaling to the tribe what they should value or how they should be, whether it's a picture of the Madonna or "I like big butts and I cannot lie") So if we prefer to have sex with guys who are close to us in terms of appearance and values that's not surprising. Is it racist? Well, yes, I suppose it is, but unless you're prepared to argue that no-one has a right to shoot anyone down, then I think we're just going to have to chalk it up to human nature. So here's another way of looking at it. I'm in my mid 40s. There are guys out there, some of them my age or older, who I am attracted to but who only go for guys in their 20s. Is that ageist? Sure is. And they're missing out on a hell of a good fuck, if I do say so myself. But that's their prerogative. None of us is ever owed sex. To my mind, there are relationships where it really is important to overcome our natural proclivity to prejudice. Employment is one. Our relationship to the law and government is another. Education is a third. Then, there are relationships where I think we do ourselves a disservice if we're not prepared to act least explore a little outside our cultural comfort zone. Friendships are an obvious example. In these areas, I think it's better to try to be open to others, but it's not required. But when it comes to NSA sex? That's so trivial a relationship that I think keeping within (or transgressing) cultural boundaries hardly matters. In that area I'm quite happy following my instincts.

I'm out at work. My co-workers generally choose to ignore my orientation, which is fine; I prefer to be judged positively or negatively based on my performance rather than some irrelevant trait like being white or gay or whatever. So needless to say, how active my sex life is doesn't really come up. As for my family, my parents have received a few clues over the years about how sexually active I am. To the extent they've said anything at all, they've expressed vague disapproval. But for the most part, I think think they're content, as I am, to leave that part of my life unspoken. As for gay friends, I have no trouble showing my face or first name on sites like these. I'm pretty up front about my barebacking preferences and my HIV status. My FWBs are very similar in outlook to me. Other men with similar tastes can and do approach me based on that. Anyone else who sees me on online gay sites and who is less promiscuous or who prefers condom use knows where they stand with me. I've never had anyone hold it against me, which is as it should be.

I know I'm resurrecting an old thread, but I found this article pretty illuminating about the reality of being gay in prison.

The face is the part of the body I'm most attracted to. The question of whether or not I'm going to be physically attracted to you largely revolves around what your face looks like. And if I'm not attracted to you, then the sex just ain't happening. When would you prefer to find that out, while we're still feeling each other out online or when you've made the effort to come to my place? Anonymous scenes are, of course, a different matter. But for those, I'll usually go someplace like a bath or porn theater. Once if a blue moon I might respond to a craigslist ad. But not every scene needs to be anonymous. It's a kink, not the end-all-and-be-all of sex. And, for me, non-anonymous sex requires a face pic. But I agree that if you're asking for face (or body or cock) pics, you damn well better be providing them yourself. Which is why I'm generally pretty up front with my online profiles. Saves time for everyone when you can take a look at me and decide if you're interested or not. Though a polite "no, thank you" is always appreciated too.

How you doin? I've noticed in my time in the transportation industry that mechanics, especially diesel mechanics, have a really super high "WOOF!" factor. Professional driver here. Driven all kinds of stuff from a little milkman's truck to an eighteen wheeler. I currently work for a towing company and I'm transitioning from hauling cars to commercial vehicles and heavy equipment.

There are two kinds of "poppers" out there. One is ethyl chloride (aka "Maximum Impact") that you usually spray on a cloth. I generally steer clear of that stuff after a couple of bad experiences involving intense ringing/humming/rushing in my ears and blackouts. The blackouts scared me, and in any case I like remembering my sex. I probably overdid it, but I figure it's safer to just avoid the stuff altogether (I don't remember the rush being all that anyways). The other is the various alkyl nitrites. I'll use those every now and then, but I really limit the number of hits I take. I find the first one or two don't leave me with any ill effects, but any more than that and I have trouble maintaining a hardon and I become prone to headaches. Plus, there is always the danger of chemical burns. If you're using viagra or any other similar drugs, you really should not use poppers at all. If you go too far, there's a real chance that you'll end up dead from a heart attack.

In a way, what you're saying is that culture matters. And I think that is true. Everybody (whether they admit it or not) feels most secure and comfortable among people who act the same way, follow the same social norms, know the same cultural cues, etc. It's why we still have gay ghettos and gay bars. Why there are bear runs. And why Will and Grace and Absolutely Fabulous have ongoing lives on Logo. But we also find crossing over those cultural boundaries to be exciting, to a greater or lesser degree. Which is why people like crossing socioeconomic, racial or cultural boundaries. But with that urge, there's always the danger of exploiting and dehumanizing and stereotyping behavior. At the very least, you become apt to do the equivalent of confusing The Olive Garden with Italian food or turning into Vanilla Ice.

I'm attracted to some black men. They tend to mirror my attractions to white or Hispanic men: relatively close to my age, more masculine in demeanor, that sort of thing.

I'm not accusing you in particular, but I have found that just about everyone out there has their blind spots. There's a great deal of prejudice in America on the part of supposedly racially-blind liberals against working class white people, especially those from the south. Mention Donald Trump in coastal circles in the US and you'll see exactly what I mean. I've personally had to correct some blind spots I've had regarding Christians. Yes, some do use their faith as an excuse to engage in prejudice, but many more, including many we'd call conservative or evangelical, really do their best to be good, charitable and loving neighbors; just because they don't buy into the whole LGBT political agenda doesn't make them monsters.

This is an excellent topic, with some very well thought out responses. I'll start right out by saying that I have a bit of a problem with lumping sexual attraction under the "racism" umbrella. I'm of the opinion that race should not be a factor when it comes to friendships, working relationships and that sort of thing. But when it comes to attractiveness, we all like what we like. In the same way that I'd much rather have a 40-something bear than a 20-something twink, there are certain races I tend to gravitate towards and others I generally don't find attractive. That doesn't mean you don't treat everyone with respect, but at the same time, I don't owe anyone a fuck; I get to choose who I'm willing to have sex with (and vice versa...I've been shot down by plenty of guys I was really attracted to) and you don't get to second-guess my motives. There are some things that I find extremely offensive. One is guy who advertise looking for "BBC" or "thugs". You often see something similar with Latinos ("gangbangers" or whatever). There's a level of objectification going on there that I don't like at all. I, personally, sometimes get something kind of similar because I'm a white guy who drives a tow truck for a living and am fairly masculine in my demeanor. You get pigeonholed as "blue collar" or "redneck" or whatever, and you're expected to act in a certain way sexually. But in each of these cases, I don't think it's really so much of a race thing as a socioeconomic class thing. A lot of gay guys are quite well off, solidly in the professional classes, and seem to get a thrill of some kind from slumming a bit. I would absolutely categorize that kind of thing as another form of class exploitation. The general thought seems to be that the lower classes should be as invisible as possible, except when you're directly engaged in providing a service (which can include breeding your ass just as much as towing your car). The fact that most blacks and Latinos are lower- or working class makes what is mostly, IMO, about economics into a racial thing.

Good grief, if this is the quality of writing CMU graduates come up with, I fear for the future of America. (I kid...but only sorta. Seriously, even with an MBA, you really need to learn how to express yourself better, regardless of your IQ) Anyways,

Some of the hottest sex I've ever had has been completely unplanned and in a sleazy location. Back when I was driving a semi over the road, I ended up parking at this little lay-by off I-24 in Tennessee. All it was was a place where truck could pull off the highway and park. There were no facilities at all, just highway on one side and forest on the other. If you wanted to piss, you hit a tree. If you wanted to shit, you were SOL. Trash strewn around cause a lot of drivers are lazy fuckers...that sort of place. So I pull in and park for the night here (was out of hours, couldn't go any further to a better place to stop), and did my paperwork and grabbed something to eat. Got mostly undressed for bed, but had to go out and piss. So I climb out on the passenger side, next to the treeline for privacy just wearing shorts and shoes. Pulled out my cock and started pissing up against one of my drive wheels. I heard a noise as I was pissing and looked around and saw a figure a little ways back in the woods. As I watched I could tell he was looking at me, even though I couldn't see him clearly. Watched as he grabbed at his crotch slowly. At this point I was done pissing so I turned around with my dick hanging out of my shorts and waved him over.He came walking up and turned out to be a guy in his mid thirties, a bit shorter than me, with longish black hair under a ball cap and a short black beard.. Walked up to me and looked at me as he wrapped his hand around my cock. I already had a semi and when he grabbed me I was well on my way to being totally hard. Without a word he knelt down and started going down on me. Got me rock hard real fucking fast. At first I leaned back against the truck moaning softly, but then I started getting more aggressive...holding his head and fucking his face....that kind of thing. He had his jeans open and was stroking his cock while he sucked me so I bent over him reaching my hand down into his asscrack and started rubbing and fingering his hole. He stood up so his jeans fell around his knees and so he was bent over sucking my cock with his ass fully exposed. I started rubbing spit into his hole while he started groaning and deep throating me and slobbering all over my rock hard cock. Finally I couldn't take it and bent him over the drive tire I'd just pissed on lined my cock, dripping with his spit, up with his hairy ass crack and slowly eased into him. He groaned and tried to pull back off me a bit, but was stuck between me and that tire and I held my cock in his tight hairy ass til I felt him relax a bit and open up for me. I started fucking him real slow...he seemed to need me to take it easy at first and I wanted to make it good for him too. But it didn't take long before he was thrusting back onto my cock and taking it all with no trouble at all. Wasn't long before I could feel my load coming and thrust it deep in his ass as I blasted deep inside him. Neither one of us had said a word up til that point. Long story short, he ended up climbing up in my sleeper for the night. He'd arrived just after I had, so we had a good ten hours to kill together, which ended with me sucking two loads out of him and fucking a second one into his ass. As it happened, we were both traveling the same way for several hundred miles, so when we rolled out the next day, we kept in touch on the phone and stopped a couple times along the way so we could fuck again. I ended up blowing three more loads in his ass that day in three different locations until our paths separated. Never saw him again unfortunately but he was a damn hot fuck.

Whereas sexuality is easy to grasp and clearly understood by everyone. Look, objectively and logically you're right. Having random bareback sex with total strangers in a world with all kinds of potentially deadly STDs is unwise. And it does impose costs on the larger society. Why do we choose to do it? I really don't know. Sophocles, the ancient Athenian playwright spoke of the lessening of sexual desire with old age as a kind of liberation, and I think that must be true. It was common for the ancients to speak of being enslaved to our sexual desires. Our feelings and desires are things we cannot control directly. I have no idea why I am attached to things I am. I can learn to detach myself from those things with effort and time, but that is the work of a lifetime (Christianity and Buddhism both are in large part all about this process). Nor can I understand the attachments of others. I have no desire for a big house with a BMW in the garage and a gazillion dollars in the bank. But many people do, and the pursuit of wealth or of status symbols can be just as destructive as the pursuit of sex or romance. Their sins are not my sins, but we are all sinners together, to put things in religious terms. So perhaps, borrowing again from religion, it's best to extend a little grace to those out there whose motivations you don't understand. Remember too, we're all on a journey here. Just because a man wants HIV today, finds part of his identity in a disease, wants to go out in a blaze of sexual glory today doesn't mean that he will always be that way. Preserving his life now gives him an opportunity to grow. I personally think society is right to offer as many of those opportunities as it can.

Spit for fucking (unless the bottom is really tight and dry...when I bottom it's just spit). Reason being I love eating out a well fucked ass but all I want to taste is ass and cum...don't like the taste of lube or how it feels on my face. For more intense scenes elbow grease has been my longstanding favorite. For fisting, I've never found anything better than Crisco (although there is that distinct smell and it gets into everything). Elbow grease is the runner up. J-lube is a distant third because it dries out too quickly in arid climates.

Now I started thinking about pro athletes as well. They ate both after my formative years, but Mark McGwire and Ben Roethlisberger both really got me going too. I find baseball kinda boring but the eye candy makes up for it. And yes, if you're sensing a trend in my likes towards big, powerful, hairy manly men, that's about right

I was a sucker for pro wrestlers. I think the first one I had an active crush on was Hacksaw Jim Duggan. I've had a thing for bearded good ol' boy musclebears ever since. Later on Stone Cold Steve Austin was another, though he was a bit more clean cut.

This is a real advantage to bathhouses. They offer places to lock up valuables. They get identification from everyone coming in. There will be people around if things go sideways. In my own case, I'm fortunate enough to be a pretty big guy. I'm 6'4", 230 pounds, fairly muscular. I spent time in the Army and have worked blue collar jobs and I look like it. So I don't look like an easy target. Which means I've never run into this situation.

Yes, this is where the rubber hits the road (ugh, I know...bad pun). HIV treatment is really expensive. And we've mostly been shielded from that expense. Which has had the side effect of allowing gay men who are HIV-negative to indulge in promiscuous barebacking without worrying too much about the consequences. What we're dancing around here is that our behaviors, bareback sex, promiscuity, anonymity, do have real world harms that we have largely been insulated from. Now, I really like bareback sex and promiscuity and anonymous hookups. So of course I want the current state of affairs to continue. But is that actually fair? And just how much would I be willing to pay in order to continue on as I have been?

I applaud your responsibility and the steps you have taken to protect yourself and your partners. Having said that, OP's question about who should pay for your meds is well taken. Truvada costs about $1500 a month retail. That's before we get into doctor visits and blood testing and all that that goes along with PrEP. And there are cheaper alternatives you could use to protect yourself that you have chosen not to. You could use condoms, you could restrict your numbers of sex partners. You've decided not to, which is fair enough. But unless you're paying the $18,000 per year (which I certainly couldn't afford), then you're asking others to subsidize your choice. Is that fair? I personally think that PrEP is a fantastic step forward. I'm thrilled that guys now can take this step to protect themselves from HIV. I look forward to the day when people suffering sickness and death from AIDS is a distant memory, and I think PrEP is going to be a big part of that. But I can also see the other side of the argument too.

One thing I've decided when discussing things online is not to read into people's intentions but simply to go off what was actually said. It's really easy to get defensive and then everything can quickly degenerate into your standard variety internet shouting match (which really is boring). Take his use of the word "deviant". That's a loaded term, to be sure. But what was he referring to? Homosexuality generally? Promiscuity? Bugchasing? Barebacking? All of the above? OP didn't say, so I don't think it's fair to make assumptions. And in a strictly objective sense, all of those things are deviant, in the sense that they are deviations from the norm of mostly monogamous, heterosexual sex. In that sense, we're all deviant! And, of course, everyone is deviant in some way. You could argue quite correctly that conservative Christians are deviants now because most Americans have no trouble with premarital sex, divorce, or homosexuality. And I think they would be quite pleased to define themselves in opposition to mainstream society on those issues, just as people on this site define themselves in opposition to mainstream sexual mores in the opposite direction. Moreover, while I do think that orientation is a morally neutral category, those other things, promiscuity, bugchasing, gift-giving, even barebacking, are not. Hell, the moral transgression is a big part of the attraction! But if you're going to get off on being a bad boy, you really shouldn't be surprised when people react to that. Can't have it both ways.

My advice would be to get a tattoo that is deeply meaningful to you on a personal level. My personal philosophy of ink is that it should tell the story of who you are and what you've experienced. Seen in that light, a negative person getting a biohazard tattoo is almost offensive, like wearing a military uniform with medals you haven't earned. I am not of the opinion that tattoos should be used for sales and marketing. If you're wanting a tattoo just to help get you laid, you're probably going to end up with ink you either won't like or will find embarrassing in the long run. My advice? Take out a craigslist ad instead. Much cheaper and much less painful. And you won't be looking back on an online hookup with regrets 20 years from now.

OP put it rather crudely, but he does have a point. HIV is very expensive to treat. Assuming you don't pay all of their medical expenses out of pocket (which very few of us are in a position to do), an HIV diagnosis guarantees that the medical services and prescriptions you receive for treatment over your lifetime will be significantly more than you pay in through insurance premiums, taxation for health care, etc. That's an additional load borne by employers, other insured people who don't use their insurance and taxpayers. So I think the first order of business for those of us with HIV ought to be to express gratitude that we do receive the care and treatment that we do. Personally, I am enormously grateful that the citizens of the US in large part have paid for my continued good health (delivered through the VA, which gets far too little credit for the very many things they do right, IMO). I do think there's a real moral problem here that we're not looking at. Consider chasers. If someone deliberately infects himself with HIV, he's not just hurting himself. He does emotional harm to family and friends. He exposes other sexual partners to HIV. And he does impose a higher additional cost on to the medical system (arguing that others also add additional costs on to the system through their bad choices doesn't get you off the hook!) Should someone like that receive treatment? Obviously, the humane response ought to be to say yes, of course. But I also think it's appropriate that part and parcel of that treatment ought to be addressing and changing the root of that self-destructive behavior. Then there's the person who doesn't care about their status. That was certainly me! Again, denying treatment to such a person would be inhumane, but I also think such recklessness deserves a certain amount of scrutiny as well. Taking a hard look at how and why someone became infected with HIV shouldn't be a form of punishment. But I do think it's legitimate to ask if the things that led to someone getting HIV might also lead to other problems as well. For instance, someone who's not taking their HIV medications as prescribed might contribute to the spread of treatment-resistant mutations of the virus, or of other STDs (gonorrhea is one that's becoming harder to treat, and that's directly caused by people not getting proper treatment). Or consider the possibility that being reckless with respect to HIV might also show up in other ways, like drug or alcohol abuse, DUIs, and other behaviors that increase one's own personal level of risk, and potential puts others in danger too. In short, obviously I don't think society should just cut off people who have expensive medical problems to treat. But I do think society does have a right to ask why those problems cropped up in the first place, and how they can be prevented. And that's true whether the problem is HIV or obesity or any other preventable condition.

The usual treatment here is a large shot of penicillin (unless you're allergic to it, like I am, in which case you get a much longer run of a different antibiotic). Syphilis is one of those bugs that frequently has no symptoms at all. If left untreated, the potential effects can include dementia and, ultimately death. Several well-known nineteenth century artists died of it. So it's important that you get tested regularly. It's also much easier to treat if caught early. Once it crosses into nervous tissue it takes a much more serious intervention...we're talking things like picc lines delivering antibiotics intravenously for weeks.