PhoenixGeoff

So I'm curious as to what your perception of your thought process was during all of this. Did you really think you were James Bond? Or did your brain come up with a way to "excuse" your acting as the hyptonist suggested (perhaps by laughing at it inwardly and telling yourself you'd go along with it "just for fun")? Or perhaps you don't have any memory of it at all?

Eating more fiber is always a good idea. Very healthy. Good for a healthy colon and for your cholesterol levels. This stuff is basically made with psyllium husk. That's a very commonly used ingrediant in all kinds of fiber supplements. This stuff is really incredibly overpriced. For the same amount of money, you can get almost ten times as much (and that's just the first link I saw). These guys have basically taken that nursing home staple, Metamucil, and dressed up with sexy branding in order to target gay guys. They'll probably make a killing. Gotta love capitalism.

Look, I sympathize with how you feel. As I've said above, I miss having that kind of community myself. But neither you nor I individually get to make that decision for all gay men as a whole. And, as someone who's been in and around this community for a few decades now, in a variety of different places, the trend seems unquestionably to be towards assimilation. That's not to say that plenty of gay guys don't want to live in or near their gay community, but they no longer have to. And many of them are choosing not to. And that's a valid choice. Look, if you want to make your orientation the defining characteristic of your life, you're free to do that. Plenty of guys still do. But plenty of guys now find they can have their relationships and be out of the closet without having to do that anymore and so are choosing to do just that. There's nothing wrong with that choice. Nobody's "denouncing Gayness" when they choose to live a quiet life in the suburbs and maybe hit a bar once or twice a year. They're just opting out of the scene. Which is fine; it's not for everyone. There's no reason every gay guy has to act in a particular way or live in a particular place. I would point out that the entire idea of a separate gay identity is itself extremely ahistorical. Different cultures have been more or less tolerant of sexual relationships and acts between two men at different times, but really, the idea of a person being gay (as opposed to just engaging in homosexual acts) is really quite new, within the last 150 years. And the idea of there being a separate gay culture to go with that identity is newer still, say in the last 50 years, give or take. Given the span of human history, there's no reason to think that assimilation wouldn't be a reversion to the mean, quite the opposite. As for the culture changing back, I know history isn't linear and things can move backwards. After all, the progress we've made in the last 20 years has completely taken me, at least, by surprise. So feel free to take this with a grain of salt, but I look around the culture and see where people's attitudes have changed, especially among younger people. I look at the drivers of the change, which includes things like more and more people coming out of the closet and raising awareness, and I just don't see a big clampdown coming. What would it take to take marriage away from us again? It's basically been established by the Supreme Court that a Constitutional amendment would be needed, something conservatives simply don't have the numbers to do (and which, given the shift in public opinion, they'd be unlikely to try). I suppose they could try to pack the Supreme Court and get Obergefell reversed, but that's a process that would take years if not decades, and that assumes a long string of Republican Presidents, a Republican Senate and a Supreme Court that is inclined to revist the question. I can't see right now how the normal political process could bring about a reversal, at least not in my lifetime. Which tells me that, barring some catastrophe, like a coup or a revolution or the physical disintegration of the country, things seem unlikely to change back in any meaningful way.

Well, our genes might be transmitted through various means, but unless you're prepared to marry a woman and raise a family then we're going to have to rely on straight couples to have kids for us. Yes, I know there are alternatives like adoption, IVF and surrogacy and all that, but the reality is most gay couples out there don't have kids and aren't really interested in raising them. I'd argue that the homophobia is what caused gay liberation in the first place. We wouldn't have needed gay liberation if society hadn't been homophobic.

I think the word is more than just a placeholder though. For one thing, it's emotionally charged, not just for blacks, but for whites as well (thus the huge taboo against using it). I personally don't think it's cool to fuck with people's emotions without at the very least some discussion and consent up front, just as with a heavy kink scene. Emotional abuse (which is what we're talking about here) is just as valid as physical or sexual abuse. And so, while I'm happy to get rough with someone, I'm not going to break any bones, and while I'm happy to dominate someone, I'm not going to participate in a rape. I'll happily get verbally aggressive with you and call you a piece of shit, but I'm not going to cross that line. I view use of words like this as demeaning not just to a black partner but also to myself: I'm essentially being asked to step into a role (as a white racist) that I vehemently disagree with. This isn't the same thing as role-playing a cop or biker or whatever. But beyond that point, I also disagree with the idea that it's only racist actions that count. Words are powerful things. The very act of speaking in a racist way enables those racist actions in the first place. I've actually been in situations where I've been around people who were comfortable speaking in racist terms, even who appeared to actually be unrepentently (if guardedly) racist themselves. The frightening thing to me was watching my own thoughts and reactions, how difficult it can be to call someone on bullshit like that but even how easily one can slip into thinking along similar lines without even realizing it's happening, simply by being around people talking that way. Human communication is an incredibly complicated process that allows all kinds of thoughts, ideas and feelings to move between people and be created inside their heads as a result of that communication, consciously and unconsciously. I think it's dangerous to open yourself up that kind of thinking even if it's just happening in the bedroom. Actually, strike that: especially if it's happening inside the bedroom. Sex is already a highly emotionally charged environment. I can't see how introducing truly evil ideas that appeal to the basest aspects of our natures in that context can possibly be a good idea.

That's probably the most flattering thing I've heard in a long time!

I dunno. I do get the desire of men who take on a leadership role in society enjoying being a sub in the bedroom. That's very common. I guess what bothers me most about the bitch/cunt namecalling is the misogyny involved. If you want to get put down while you're having sex, that's your kink. But when, in the process of that, you end up perpetuating (however unintentionally) some rather nasty attitudes towards women, then I got a bit of a problem with that. In the same vein, I'd never call a black guy I was with a "nigger" in the bedroom, even if that was his thing. There's just something inherently wrong with that. To be honest, I got a bit of a problem with "faggot" too. I think there are ways of giving you what you want that don't carry all of that additional freight. There are ways of degrading you without disrespecting you, if that makes sense.

Well, I guess it really hinges on whether you think it's important for us to have a separate culture or not. Look, as a non-reproducing group, we're never going to have a culture in the way that the French or the Lakota or Japanese have a culture, because we are completely dependent on straight people to produce our future generations, and in the overwhelming majority of those cases, the fundamentals of the culture those future gay men live within will not come from us, but from the families of their childhood and teenage years. Why did we have a semi-separate culture in the past? Because of homophobia. We used to be rejected by society, so we banded together and lived in the same places and took our cultural identity (which was and is derivative of the mainstream culture for the reasons mentioned above) from that identity. But in the absence of homophobia, you're going to see lots of gay men who are comfortable being out and being openly in a relationship with another guy but who choose not to live in the gay neighborhoods or go to the bars or assume that identity. It's already happening. One big manifestation of that is the guys who self-consciously are open about their orientation but downplay its importance. And it's going to happen more and more. I've seen that shift going on over the twenty five years I've been out of the closet. In fact, I would question if maintaining a separate gay identity is even desirable in this day and age. In the past, one's identification as gay was really important because the mainstream culture made it so, by imposing such a high price (in the form of discrimination, shunning and violence) on assuming it. But it doesn't necessarily have to be the case. Is the fact that I'm attracted to other men the most important thing about me? What about my gender? My ethnicity? My upbringing? My religion or lack thereof? My socioeconomic class? My work? My friends? My philosophy about life? My politics? All of these things are arguably as important, if not more so, than my orientation, and they all contribute to the cultural sea that I swim within. Like I said...I kind of miss the days when we lived in a beseiged city on a hill and all pulled together as a community, against discrimination, against AIDS, against all these things. But maybe those days are over, or nearly so, and it's time to move on.

Not sure what it is about that area, but this isn't the first time something like this has happened. There was a major scandal a few years back when the retired Arapahoe County Sheriff (who had served in that position almost 20 years, winning four elections) was arrested for trading drugs for sex with younger guys (he was 68 when he was caught; the men he went after were generally vulnerable guys in their teens and twenties, possibly some underaged, including some he'd bonded out of jail). The media made quite a bit of hay out of him getting locked up in the county jail that had been named in his honor. http://www.denverpost.com/ci_20320732/former-arapahoe-county-sheriff-patrick-sullivan-pleads-guilty

There's a difference between confidence and cockiness. The former is always attractive. The latter (which tends to measure itself by the number of sex partners or some similar measure of external validation), not so much, except, perhaps, to those with low self-esteem. Which, come to think of it, is usually the root of the cocky guy's problems too.

And yet you see your identity as a "boi" so strongly that you put it in your screen name. Curious.

Yeah, let me clarify my interpretation of dom vs. sub here. Again, it's completely divorced from top vs. bottom. Every top on this site has run into dom bottoms (less charitably known as the "pushy bottom"). A dom, to my way of thinking, is the person who takes charge of the scene. This is often interpreted as meaning that the scene rotates strictly around the dom's desires, but the reality is that's only true of shitty, self-centered doms. Good doms will seek to know their subs as well as they can, because a good dom views his control of the scene as a responsibility he has towards all of the other participants. And he will therefore direct the scene towards the maximum long-term pleasure of everyone concerned (which isn't to say that a good dom won't push you, but he or she will know just how hard to push, when to stop, what direction to push in and how not to step over the line). Being a dom is all about creating an experience for your sub. A sub, on the other hand, bears obligations towards the dom as well. Complete candor about who he or she is, what he's done, what he's enjoyed in the past and what he hasn't; being willing to do whatever is asked (within negotiated bounds) even things that are uncomfortable; and giving the dom trust that he or she will ultimately take the scene in a healthy and enjoyable direction. Being a sub is all about surrendering to the experience your dom is creating for you. In a way, a D/s relationship is kind of like a mentor/mentee relationship. And I do believe that experience is absolutely vital for a dom (whether gained under the teaching of another dom or as a sub), whereas all a good sub needs is the right attitude.

Damn! This is sure one hell of an old thread that got resurrected! First off, let me quote Thick directly: "but I in turn, am servicing their cunt." I don't know about you, but straight guy who talked about his wife or girlfriend (or hell, even any self-respecting hooker) in those terms would get his face slapped. And be sleeping on the couch. I'll be damned if anyone refers to me that way (or any of my friends, if I'm in earshot). If that's the kind of romance you want, to be someone's "cunt," well, I suppose you can have it, though I'll question your definition of the word "romance". So let's talk about what it means to be homosexual here. That means sexual and/or romantic attraction to people of the same gender as you. Right there, that suggests that gender matters. After all, why go through the grief of being gay if men and women are interchangeable? And because gender matters, because they are different, that suggests that relationships between two men will necessarily be different than relationships between a man and a woman (and both different than between two women). That right there tells us that trying to map a male/female matrix onto a relationship between two men is a fool's errand. That's exactly why the old question, "Which one's the woman?" is so ignorant. The correct answer is "Neither; we're both men—what are you, some kind of idiot?" Now you're expressing a desire to take on a woman's role (your words) in your relationships. Fair enough. But we have words for people like that: MTF transsexuals or transgendered or trans-women. And perhaps that's what you are, to some degree or another. Which takes me to one of my pet peeves: the confusion of sexual orientation with gender identity. To my way of thinking, they are best thought of as two mathematical axes. Whether you're attracted to men or women (or both to whatever degree) has absolutely nothing whatsoever with whether you identify as male or female (or somewhere in between—that's another pet peeve: these are both properly understood as continua, not binary options). Thick seems to identify as a man. His attraction to other men seems to be colored by a desire to reenact heterosexual roles. He's expressed a disinterest in men who act in masculine ways. That suggests either a little bisexuality, a little further along the continuum from the straight guy who likes "chicks with dicks". And that's fine. But that doesn't mean that there aren't plenty of men out there, even bottoms, who identify as 100% male and who attracted to other 100% males. And that includes everything that goes along with what it means to be a man: appearance, attitude, relationships, the whole nine yards. So here's where I'll out myself as thinking that seeing two alpha males clash with each other in a sexual way is pretty much the hottest thing I can possibly imagine. And I'll also happily concede that rape is rape and a real man knows how not to cross that line. I know it run contrary to this website's raison d'être, but really, the physical mechanics of sex are really the least important part of being gay. It's all about how you relate to others.

bbcowboy...how you doin? Question's kinda strange. Of course the answer depends on context. If I'm surruptitiously fucking some guy in the dark back corner of a bar, then of course we're both as fully clothed as possible and the fact that we are fully clothed and having sex in full view of all kinds of people and no-one knows...well that's all part of the fun! Same thing with a quick fuck outdoors...from eye contact to loaded ass in a matter of minutes...of course there's no time to undress and that's part of what makes the scene so hot. Then there's the power imbalance between a naked bottom and a clothed top. That's a classic dominance/submission move that plays off deep-seated human feelings about being naked being connected with being vulnerable. Then there's the whole playing in gear angle. There's leather of course. But I also still play in my old Army uniforms (and still fit in them 15 years after I got out, thank you very much!). Work gear like bbcowboy's is fun...my last job had me wearing reflective stripes, a safety vest, a hard hat and boots and you better believe I use those clothes for action. Incidentally...if it sounds like I'm working my way through being every single member of a Village People tribute band, sometimes I think I am too. Just haven't yet found a Native American tribe that will let me be chief yet.... But there's a lot to be said about being completely naked with a guy (or guys) too. Starting with the direct sight, smell, touch, feel, taste of his skin and getting to know his body intimately. I also really enjoy making out with a guy and slowly undressing each other...the anticipation is exquisite. Oddly enough, the one thing I've kind of gone backwards on is the whole casual nudity thing. I kind of like keeping things covered up, at least minimally. There's something to be said about allowing the other guy's imagination to work on your behalf. And, I dunno, I kind of think there's something almost sacred about the male body...something that should be set apart and only brought out for sex. Back in the old days, when women wore floor-length dresses, they say they could drive men crazy by merely showing off an ankle. That's a powerful form of sexuality, and one almost never employed in this pornographic age. I suspect we may be missing out....

I was first diagnosed back in 2002. Had been expecting it for some time, but it still hit me unexpectedly hard. Took a bit of adjustment. They actually advised me to go on meds as soon as I could (I met the then-criteria for when to begin treatment...they tended to hold off on treatment a little bit back in those days until your CD4 counts dropped below a certain threshold). Even so, I didn't start meds for about a year because I wasn't psychologically ready to handle a permanent medication regimen involving being disciplined about taking them on time, dealing with side effects, etc., etc. I was still actually handling coming face to face with my own mortality for the very first time in my life. And it's good I did hold off a bit. My first regimen had some bad side effects. Not horrifically bad, but bad enough that the thought of taking them and living with those side effects day after day, month after month, year after year until I died really added to the depression I was going through. If I'd gone through that while I was handling the initial shock of my diagnosis I would have been all kinds of fucked up. (I was all kinds of fucked in any case...this was about the time my drug abuse started taking off, and I don't think that was a coincidence...but I would have been even worse). Point being, the rational thing for anyone who is poz is to go on meds. But the rational answer isn't always the right answer. Even so, if you're poz, take your meds. You're too damn precious to play Russian Roulette with your life. And for Dog's sake don't be a big male dumbass like I was...if you're hurting, ask for help.

Technically, everyone who has had bareback sex at any time between now and about three months before your last HIV test should be saying "Don't Know". Unless you've been on PrEP that whole time, in which case, good for you!

I've got kind of a thing for role reversal porn and situations too. I love watching porn and seeing a guy who pretty much always tops take it up the ass. Vice versa is fun too...I wish more gangbang videos would end with the bottom not jacking off a load but with him jumping on one of the tops and turning the tables (preferably while his ass is leaking cum like crazy). There's plenty of good turning the tables scenes out there...I'm thinking porn of prison type scenes where a sadistic guard fucks inmates through the porno only to get rushed, held down and gangfucked in the final scene by everyone he fucked throughout the video. Could do the same thing with a military theme or whatever... But I've always gotten really turned on by watching some big huge hairy masculine ape of a guy going fucking crazy for dick, whether in porn or in real life. The kinda guy you'd never actually ever imagine having sex with another man at all, let alone bottoming, just totally fucking begging for cock. I'd bury my dick in a guy like that in a heartbeat.

Possible profile picture of GermanFucker:

Some excellent advice here so far. A couple things I'll add: It sounds like you're kinda wrapped up in a situation there with your mother and your friend where it's not the healthiest environment. That's made even more complicated by the fact that you are on disability. In a situation like that, it's very easy to get completely wrapped up in whatever drama is going on. It sounds like you've been the one who has had to step up and keep the household together and that can be really draining, so it's really important to do some things for yourself. First, get some regular, normal, human interaction (not online...in real life). Dating is good, but you don't want to put all of your emotional eggs in one basket. Find yourself a good circle of people to hang out with who can become friends (note they don't have to be gay, in some ways it may be better if they are not, though you should feel comfortable coming out around them as gay...your HIV status is none of their business). Easiest way to do this is to find a group of people who get into doing something that you like. Could be anything from a bowling league to a book club to a church group to a knitting circle. The main thing is that it gets you out of the house and around reasonably healthy people. Note: this is not a support group. The point isn't to go in and talk about your problems. Rather, it's supposed to be a time when you can do something you enjoy with people you like. That's all. Second, (if you're not doing this already), find a way to get physically active. You don't have to go to the gym and lift weights if that's not your thing (though a lot of cities have community centers with workout facilities that will cut you a deal if you're on disability). Could be as simple as riding a bike around town or hiking or getting together with a group of friends to play basketball. The point is, it should be something that you enjoy doing and can do on a regular basis. Physical activity has been shown to improve your immune system, so it's important for people with HIV. It will also help keep your spirits high...it's a natural antidepressant. Third, (and you're doing a lot of this at home already), find a way to go out and give back to the community somehow. Especially with HIV, especially if you're on disability, it can be extremely easy to start getting down on yourself. Finding a useful way to give back will help combat that. You'll note that all three of these suggestions involve time away from your family. You may feel that that's not possible, that your mother needs 24/7 supervision and help. Sometimes family members in that situation will demand attention more attention than they need because they're resentful of their situation or afraid of losing what little they have left. Hopefully your friend can help split the duties of caring for your mother. And remember that by taking care of yourself first, you're preserving your ability to care for them too.

There is such a place. It's called West Hollywood. (Only half kidding...the City of WeHo is 39% gay according to Wikipedia) Look at the time when this was written. Semi-underground gay communities in just a few major cities. In most places, that meant a bar or two where the cops had to be paid off. Being out meant that you were willing to show your face in a place like that. Everyone was closeted as far as family, work, friends and neighbors go. Ten years later and you had geographic neighborhoods in several places that were like that. You still wouldn't dare out yourself at work (not voluntarily), but there was one place you could go and be free and easy, even by light of day. But it was, to some degree, still a kind of a closet for a lot of guys, just a roomier one. That's kind of what he's advocating for here, and from 1970's perspective, that would look really alluring. The problem is, gayborhoods are an artifact of homophobia. Gay men move there because it's better than living a completely closeted life. Straight people don't move there because they don't want to be associated with gays (either because they don't like them or because they're afraid of being mistaken for one). You also have to remember that in the '70s, '80s and into the '90s, there was a lot of white flight out of the cities and into the surrounding suburbs too. So basically, you had a moment when it suited everybody's interests to have gay men all move into the ghetto, where housing was still relatively affordable. Now, all of those influences are running in the opposite direction. Gay men can and do live openly everywhere from cities to suburbs to the countryside. Straight people like having us in the neighborhood because we tend to drive up property values. And everyone likes moving into gayborhoods because we've made them nice places to live. We're major drivers of gentrification. Plus, all kinds of people who would have been looking at buying a house in the burbs right out of college twenty years now want to live in the cities, which drives up housing costs and prices younger guys, especially non-professionals, out of the ghetto. Personally, I love gay neighborhoods. I first came out in Toronto and lived for a bit in Church and Wellesley (although even then it seemed like it was getting expensive; not having a car helped a lot). It was awesome having almost every gay-oriented business within walking distance. And I sometimes feel like we've lost something of what the community used to be. But that's how it goes...we're getting assimilated. Not all religions are so anti-gay, although many cultures are. Most religions do advocate for some form of self-denial (many non-religious philosophical systems like Stoicism and Epicureanism do too). There are excellent reasons why this is a good practice to cultivate. But male homosexuality has long been associated with the opposite (just look at this site: we're a pleasure seeking people). Moreover, in those cultures that historically have had some kind of tolerance for homosexuality, there's usually elements of child abuse and rape present. Look at modern Afghanistan, for instance. This sort of thing is common in honor-based cultures, and we see echoes of it in our own, in the form of dad/son play and a lot of kink. You can make a good argument that what really concerned Paul in the New Testament was the combination of the rape of teenagers that the Greek erastes/eromenos system often pulled a veil over, the violation of gender norms that most cultures have trouble with, and centuries-old OT Jewish prohibitions on homosexuality which were probably originally intended to help keep them separated from surrounding Middle Eastern cultures (the Old Testament is riddled with anxiety over the importation of customs and religions from other people...Jews have always been pretty big on segregating themselves). The point being that it's important to really understand what's being said about sexuality by these religions. To listen to what's being said and to place it in the right context. I personally have come to believe that the worst and most cruel thing Christianity ever did to us in this country was to deny us access to itself...there's a lot within Christianity that, if followed, could have spared many in our community quite a bit of heartache. As far as I am aware, modern gay culture is the very first example in human history of a group of men who engage in sex and relationships with those of the same gender exclusively, approach those relationships from a general standpoint of equality, consent and respect regardless of role and have constructed a group identity around their sexuality. It's no wonder that people, especially those who are more traditionally oriented, are having difficulty with concept. So I generally find that it pays to cut people a little slack.

Almost forgot to mention the bit about no-one cumming in fisting scenes in porn. In my experience, that's pretty common. Fisting is not about either the top or the bottom's cock. And while I do get hard as a FF top sometimes (especially later in the scene when the bottom is well and truly nicely open and things are getting a bit more active), my cock is not usually part of what's going on. Indeed, I generally make it a point not to touch my own cock or to have any third parties touch either me or the bottom since both can distract from what I'm doing with my hand. I want to be completely, single-mindedly focused on the bottom's asshole when I fist. OTOH, I have jacked my cock inside a guy's ass before, which is extremely hot. And I will usually fuck and breed a hole I've just fisted, which really feels different from fucking an ass at any other time, even one that's already been bred by other men. On the bottom side of things, I have seen a bottom get hard when he got fisted. Usually, this would be someone who was very experienced with opening up and taking you inside (such men are truly astounding to fist...they basically take charge of the whole scene and will literally draw your hand inside of them...it's really amazing). But in the overwhelming majority of times, the bottom will not have a hardon at all (I know I never have). It's difficult to explain the mental state I go into as a bottom, but it's not a conventionally sexual one. Which is probably a good thing because, as you may well know, getting a hardon and playing with your cock actually tightens your ass a bit, so it's counterproductive. On a side note, I have, once or twice, hit a spot inside a bottom's ass that made him piss himself. He literally could not stop himself. I've also, very rarely, felt like I was kind of getting very close to having that happen to me when I was in the sling, though I've never actually pissed. So be aware that's a potential hazard (or bonus, depending on your POV) with fisting scenes, and be prepared accordingly.

No-one so far has addressed the question of whether fucking or fisting is better, or whether a guy who's a total top for fucking might enjoy getting fisted, so I'll bite. As far as I'm concerned (and I'm speaking as someone who has both taken a fist and given one, though more of my experience is as a top), you really can't compare fucking and fisting. They are completely different sexual and sensual experiences for me. When it comes to fucking, I tend to like my sex hard, rough and aggressive. I love a scene where the bottom is bent over in a dark corner somewhere and getting rammed by the top. That's not to say that I can't and don't get into slower, gentler, more romantic fucking (I get into fucking of all kinds!) but my tendencies lie more towards the rough-and-tumble. Fisting, by contrast, is a much more sensual, more intimate form of sex for me. In fact, I would say that I consider fisting to be the most intimate form of sex I know. Part of this is by necessity: you can do a lot of harm to a bottom when your hand is inside his ass--hell, you can even kill him if you're not careful (which is why I insist on everyone in a FF scene being completely sober). And it's very easy to push things to hard and hurt the bottom, which will bring your scene to an end really quickly. So, on the one hand, as a FF top, it's extremely important to pay extremely close attention to your bottom. To watch him carefully, to be in tune with his breathing and his body, to know when to push, when to hold still, when to withdraw. You quite literally hold his life in your hand and it's an awesome privilege and responsibility. And sometimes, that feeling can be physically felt. There have been a few times, probably because I came up against an artery inside my bottom, where it literally felt like I was holding his beating heart. As a bottom, it takes an extraordinary act of trust for me to open up for a top. That is something that the top himself will earn from you as he slowly works his way inside of you. I was extremely lucky that the first man who ever fisted me happened to be a very experienced top I just happened to pick up at the Eagle in Chicago many, many years ago. His patience and experience and skill over the course of hours took me to a place where his hand was inside me. And when that hand goes into you, especially for the first time, it is absolutely an overwhelming experience. At its best, when fisting or getting fisted, to me it seems like the universe contracts to the point where there is nothing but you and your partner and you are joined together as one single entity. It's really almost a spiritual experience for me. Now, everybody is different and YMMV. No doubt many of the men that I have gotten into a fisting scene with would report things differently. As for whether you could be a fisting bottom if you don't like getting fucked, well, I would say that it is unusual for a guy to like getting fisted but not fucked. But anything is possible. What is most likely, if you do find that you like getting fisted, is that you'd also change you mind about getting fucked. One thing to be aware of, if you don't get fucked because you're worried about HIV and you want to bareback, getting fisted is also a high risk activity. Whenever something the size of a hand goes into your ass, there will some a little tearing and bleeding. Not much, not enough to notice, as long as proper precautions are taken, but enough to allow transmission of HIV, if the top has any cracks or scrapes or cuts in the skin of his hand (as most of us do, just from everyday life). You can always ask the top to wear a latex glove (which has the added benefit of providing a little extra protection from the nails, which the top absolutely must trim carefully and then smooth with an emory board). On the other hand, that probably won't sit well with a top like me that really appreciates the feel of direct skin-on-skin contact, in which case you must weigh the risks appropriately, just as you would with bareback fucking.

There's not really a part of the male anatomy that I don't fucking absolutely love. But man! A hot, hairy, sweaty, clean, real man's ass crack and hole really is heaven on earth...the sight a hairy crack between two firm, meaty globes, the smell of his sweat, the feel of my nose and goatee and face and head rubbing in that crack, the taste as my tongue starts probing that hole (and oh God! the ecstasy if cum dribbles out onto my tongue and into my goatee!), the feel of my cock head against that hole, the sight of my shaft slowly sliding deep inside, that shudder of delight, the noise of our bodies crashing together, that loud, echoing sound made by my cock slamming into that wet, warm, well-fucked hole (you know that sound when you hear it!). And don't even get me started about fisting.... Yeah, I guess you could say I kinda like ass. Now, more than anything else? Well....