Perpetually Single vs. Always In A Relationship

[Bear4Breeding]

I've only had 2 "serious" relationships. My first was around 19 or 20 and lasted 2 years. he was a drunk which ended up destroying our relationship.

My 2nd was only 6 months and I was his rebound guy. We were doomed from the start as he was a kinky leather man and well I am pretty much vanilla or was at that time.

I am not very good at them, as I like my independence and everything, but if I managed to find a slut/pig whatever that had the same sexual appetite as I did and didn't mind each other slutting around or going ot the baths or whatnot I might consider it again.

As for right now though, been single going on 12 years and am pretty much used to it at this point, sleeping alone and doing what I want when I want.

[hungry_hole]

I've been in relationships with other guys and I like everything about it except that when it comes to sex, anonymous is the way I like it.

I prefer to keep frienship/lover relationships separate from sexual ones. I feel that my sexuality is mine and I have no real interest in sharing it with anybody, male or female. Although in anonymous sex I'm "sharing" my sexuality, it doesn't feel like that to me. Anon sex feels to me like porn enhanced by real bodies and body parts.

I find it interesting that even in a lover relationship situation the best sex is very often with some kind of anonimous role playing. I would wear shorts with a hole on it, and that would drive him crazy. But I know him so well, how can be we pretend not to know each other?

Why bother role playing anonymous situations with your lover, feeling like a hole, when you can do the real thing in a bathhouse, bookstore, or public bathroom?

I'm OK alone but I can also enjoy being in a relationship, as long as sex is not part of the deal.

[Guest]

At this point in my life, I have settled for perpetually single. It allows me to hook up with anyone I pretty much want without any regret of what impact that would have on any potential boyfriend. I had one brief serious relationship, but that ended, so right now I prefer to just meet and breed whomever I choose. But who knows, that may change at some future moment.

[Totop]

I've been perpetually single. Had a couple of very brief relationships but never been in a LTR of any sort somehow. Perhaps because of this...

- Guys who know exactly what they want - and are not willing to just let things happen and maybe compromise now and then - the lonely wolf type.

To me no relationship is better than a bad/uncomfortable relationship just as no sex is better than a bad/uncomfortable sex. However if I ever did get into a relationship I'd prefer it to be monogamous. I'm not that slutty even when I'm in the baths. So I'd have no problem in settling for one. For me quality over quantity.

[PozInAZ]

I'm perpetually single.... but I think I try to be vanilla with a new guy and that just doesn't work, would love to try a guy that would be into sharing me!

[Guest slobbvers]

I think perpetual singles fall into three categories:

- Guys who know exactly what they want - and are not willing to just let things happen and maybe compromise now and then - the lonely wolf type.

- Guys who don't know what they want - often young guys who don't really know how a relationship works and go about things the wrong way - lack of experience.

- Guys who have other priorities - whose relationships will fall apart because, not because of their job or because they fuck with strangers, but because work, fucking with strangers or a drug habit is MORE IMPORTANT than having a partner.

Or there's me, perpetually single and enjoys being alone.

[bigdick4you]

interesting subject... my longterm partner ended almost two years ago our longterm relationship after he found out i had been having an affair an sleeping around with other guys. the first year, i just wanted to fuck as many guys as possible and be single... but after a while after fucking guy after guy and organizing sex partys i started to look for something more... suddenly i had this urge to wake up next to someone and cuddle up on couch and having conversations and plan a future with someone... had few romances via BBRT, but they always broke up with me... it was all fine for a while... but when they found out i was falling for them... they broke up with me...at the moment recovering from a few months romance. from one moment to the other he stopped emailing me... when i asked him about it... he just said he didnt want to be touch with me anymore... maybe in the future... he said. needless to say im still devastated about it...at the moment i still hook up via sex websites, but i want to have that special connection with someone... i have a good job, have a good big dick and am good in bed(so i have been told).friends tell me im fun to be around and am very loving and caring...when i c that the last guy i was seeing puts up a quick connect add , i feel so sad and empty...

[onlyraw]

in my 20's I dated a lot... some serious, some not, then at some point the dating well ran dry (every one else had paired up maybe?) My take on the 'always in a relationship' types is that for some reason or another....(and I think there are as many reasons as there are relationships) they 'need' to be in a realtionship and so they put the time and effort (and it takes time and effort) to find a realationship.... for those of us who are single I dont think you can lump us into just a few catagories,,,,there are just as many reasons for being single as there are single guys, for me.... part of me would like a bf, but it is not the most important thing in my life.... and there are other things I would rather be doing than constantly be on the hunt for a husband,,,, if I find one in my travles great - and if dont.... oh well (and I did find my last one on my travles.... a bbrt hook up last time I was in London,,. it was just suposed to be a evening hook up.... but something clicked..... and who knows, thanks to skype and frequent flyier miles it might have worked - it did work for about a year and a half,,,,, but then his life hit a rough patch, and he went and desided that he was a sex addict)..... so.... back to life and if meet some one somewhere great,,,, if not,,,,, thats fine too

[barehole4use]

I've been in relationships my whole life & always long term too, it's about understanding each others needs & not becoming a jealous psychopath. My current relationship is going in to 10+ years. I make it clear from the outset that i need my space & i need to have an open relationship if i am having one. This has worked for me now several times but i think for it to work you have to be a complete person to start with & not insecure / unstable / easily jealous / frustrated : If you are any of these last things it will never work for you & you'll end up making your B/F unhappy too. Then you deserve being alone your whole life. You only get out of life what you are willing to invest, Most guys are takers & don't want to give anything back & these guys are always alone.

[Inception]

when i c that the last guy i was seeing puts up a quick connect add , i feel so sad and empty...

Who know's his reasons, but he's not into you, just put him on ignore so you don't see what he's up to, and move on yourself.

[poz0712]

So I've read the comments about this thread and I understand what all you guys are saying.

I'm 25 and I've only had two serious relationships unfortunately both only lasted for few months. I'm single and I do keep to myself and there are a list of reasons for why I'm single and another list for why I would like to be in relationship. Me being single it's not because I'm too picky but it's because I never followed the unwriiten rules of dating (I consider those games) cause your not going by how you feel but by a list of rules, don't make yourself to available, don't do this, don't that etc.

However for my age I have been told I'm mature for it therefore I'm mature for guys within my age group. Another thing I've notice is I don't hear from "friends" unless I message them so I have come to the realization I don't have friends and yes there are times I'm only but that doesn't make me rush in a relationship. I've questioned those who are always in a realtionship is it because they don't know how to be alone?

It's not that I'm too picky I just know what I will and will not deal with and what I can do. My age group is into partying (or actually that's other age groups as well) that's not my scene so if your someone who has to go out every night it's not gonna work for us.

[rubio2001]

It's interesting how some of these threads pop up from the past and catch your attention.

I've been in a relationship for about 18 years (I'm 47). We are independent, yet incredibility intimate. We laugh all the time. He's the hardest working person I know. He's sexy (Latino even with a big dick). He's part of my family and I'm part of his family. We travel constantly. We own two homes. He rubbed my feet last night and I scratched his back while we watched Netflix. When he fell asleep on the couch I walked him to the bedroom and tucked him in (he's only a couple of years older than me - so no, he's not an old guy) and then I went back and watched David Letterman before going to bed myself.

Reading this thread I guess we are pretty fucked up. Should we seek counseling? I'm concerned...