Open LTR?

[rawcumbiguy]

playing separate always caused jealousy in my relationships plus i thought if we both are playing with other guys all the time we might as well just be fuck buds instead of a couple

[rawpozbtm]

playing separate always caused jealousy in my relationships plus i thought if we both are playing with other guys all the time we might as well just be fuck buds instead of a couple

Also when you play as a couple, you will most likely get a load from your bf too. So, it will be two loads instead of one. BUT if you were playing separate, then you will only get the one load (unless the guy can give more than one load).

[bearbandit]

Before I got the norvir droop (since recovered from!), my husband used to drive me to my boyfriend's house, even once returning when he saw I'd forgotten my pill box. Before that we were involved in a pretty heavy threeway relationship. After the norvir droop, (around 2000) John was a regular on ICU2 channels and I was regularly called to his machine to wave, say hello and generally give permission for the guy to fuck wth my husband.

One incident I particularly remember is a day or two after we gave a friend a PA (paid for at a reputable place, in case you were thinking otherwise) as a birthday. He didn't follow instructions and got an infection. We took him to the nearest A & E for treatment and waited a long time. Meanwhile John followed this cute guy into the toilets and was gone for about twenty minutes. When they eventually emerged the cute guy had that particular swagger to his step, so it was "John, let me smell your breath"... Sure enough... I still think it's more amusing than anything to worry about: I know who he loved.

[slobbtop]

In an open LTR right now, coming up on 7 years. I haven't been in a monogamish relationship for almost a decade can't imagine ever having one again just like i can't imagine going back to using condoms again. I've done the Poly thing for a bit but my life situation shifted and i move so that ended, it was fun but a lot of work to have more than 4 people involved at a time, 3-4 people work best for poly with hookups on the side.

[Totop]

i thought if we both are playing with other guys all the time we might as well just be fuck buds instead of a couple

Thats the way I see it as well.

[evilqueerpig]

I was in an open relationship with my ex for 10 years.....we never played as a couple.....long story short, I developed a kinky side while he stayed vanilla....the last 2 years with him I'd only wish on my worst enemy....too SLUTTY for monogamy, but would do open with a likeminded PIG

[versmetropig]

Have been in a sexually open relationship for 22 years - we got legally married in NY on our 22 anniversary a month ago. We are completely emotionally monogamous, best friends, still lovers, and continue to find each other endlessly fascinating, smart, and amazingly comfortable... and we love each other very much. That being said, we both had our first partners die on us in our twenties and find that you don't sweat the little stuff after that. On our second date, we realized that in order for the average two men to stay together for a long long time, sexual variety would wind up being an issue unless it was no big deal. Which it is not for either of us - we play with others seperately and together (these days mostly seperately for me as my husband has nasty arthritis). We don't take time away from each other - extracurricular is done when the other is working, and the stories are shared and enjoyed together. We're not jealous, which is probably the most important thing - we never "date" someone else or stay out the entire night, and that's it rules wise. I've always been kinkier than my other half and he is more than happy to have me play with others for the heaver stuff!

[toxiclover]

I was in an open LTR for a couple years. It worked out well, really. I loved and got off on whoring his ass out. I'd find all kinds of bareback tops to fill up his blonde twink hole. I never asked the status of the guys i recruited. I got off on the fact he didnt give a fuck. The relationship ended as he moved and got into hardcore partying.

[pssilverbear]

My next relationship will be totally open...I don't need jealousy in my life. If my guy wants to play either outside or in front of me, it's okay. As long as I know he loves me and wants to be with me, I want him to be satified sexually in whatever manner works for him and the same for me.

[RhodyCumhole]

On 2/25/2012 at 9:50 AM, Pig Bottom said:

I thought this was about being open later.

I'm not too jealous, and I would like an open relationship where I can go out and fuck with other guys. The thing I wouldn't like is if my partner was looking for people on Grindr or online sex sites, those tend to be more intimate. I'd rather he go to a sex club or bath and just fuck and go.

I dunno, bud.   Things can get just as intimate at the baths as anywhere.  I met one guy at the local bathhouse nine years ago, and we connected right away.  Married him a year later and he and I stiill go to that bathhouse.  The idea of finding our 3rd there, though not something we actively look for, is always in the back of our minds.

[Guest]

My husband and I do this.  We have been together for many years. We love each other and we have phenomenal sex.  The variety with other guys in our sex lives actually makes our sex life and relationship even stronger.  You have to do what is right for you though, this won't work for everyone.  He and I both get jealous sometimes, but we always get over it because we love each other.

[Poz-Mcr]

I'd have to find someone to have a relationship with first before I could consider whether it should be monogamous or open. Putting aside the 'woe is me' sentiment of that last sentence, I am torn about whether I could be happy in an open relationship.

I certainly like the thought of being able to go of and have fun with anyone I want, but I know that when I've invested my feelings in a guy the green-eyed monster is always lurking around the corner. I appreciate that is likely bound up in previous baggage and definitely a lot of personal insecurity. 

As such, I would imagine, for me, any success of an open relationship would be very dependent on just how much trust I would have that my partner is as emotionally invested in me as I am in him. In essence, I would need to have the confidence that once he has had his fun for the evening it will be me that he'll be coming back to bed with. 

Now, an exclusive equal polyamorous relationship is a different story. For me, I would be very happy in one of those i.e. where all parties in the relationship play within the relationship rather than going outside of it. Now, where can I find a handful of other guys to be part of it!?!?!

[AirmaxUK]

Not sure if 4 and a bit years counts as a LTR , but here's what is currently working for us: we have an open relationship, and we're both of the mindset that fetish play, "play" or sex for sport is something that's fun but has no emotional attachment. The only emotional attachment is between us and not open. Separating sex and love is a key thing to seeing play with others as non threatening. That said, we have a few rules we both follow, like no overnight tricks - always come home - and sharing guys if we think it would work. we play separately (mostly) and together (sometimes). When we're out in London or berlin we look out for each other and help each other out getting what and who we want - "wingmen".   

[barecubtop]

I appreciate what has been said on this thread. I started dating my boyfriend a few months ago after a hookup-turned-date.  We agreed to be open right from the start, and I believe it is the right thing for us (mostly because I know there are certain things he and I enjoy that we can’t provide for each other, so we might as well find those somewhere else).  

I knew I wanted to try the open relationship, where the “open” part would just be sex - no romantic or emotional connections with others.  I’ve had some moments of jealousy when I found that he had hooked up with someone that I eventually talked myself down from.  My current worry...or more accurately insecurity...is that he’ll hookup with someone and click with them like when we first hooked up.  I don’t have any reason to believe he’s looking for that, and thus I feel my insecurity isn’t totally valid, but does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with this kind of insecurity? (Private messages ok if you don’t want to respond here, thanks)

[viking8x6]

I am in one now and have had others in the past. I was in one bad monogamous relationship where the guy got jealous even though I wasn't playing around. After that I've always been fairly clear that monogamy is not for me, though I don't feel a need to state it up front before dating a guy. I personally don't find it particularly confusing to have sex in different contexts (love, lust, fun, and so on), but I guess a lot of people do.