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Can anybody answer this?


constructionguy

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I maintain that most (present community excluded) guys on these hook-up apps and sites have NO IDEA what they want OR how to go about getting what they want and then not chickening out or getting cold feet once they agreed to what they thought they wanted. For whatever reason they have personal, social, peer, or other issues getting in their way of navigating their desire(s).

These arbitrary values and labels people put on everything is the manifestation of those pressures. I think it's all pointless garbage that gets in the way of finding a truly cool connection with someone you never imagined you would connect with...but that's me.

I also try not to be a hypocrite. I tend to keep my app profiles minimal so that it forces a bit of an exchange to take place. And a (recent) picture can literally be worth a 1000 words. I guess what I am saying is that if you can attempt to look past the "fire-walls" or "filters" people are throwing out there perhaps you can provoke enough of a conversation or put out a realistic, current picture that might have them second-guessing their own filters enough to perhaps considering changing them or taking them down.

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Many of my hottest fucks were with “older” Tops. They’re always more confident and self assured. They know exactly what they want and not afraid to say it. What they may “lack” in a lower refractory period or stamina, they make up for in imagination and experience. In my experience, they aren’t into the quick pump and dump, they wanna own my hole for a few hours and make it so that I have a hard time sitting properly afterwards. They take their time and work me over, taking me to my limits and then some more. Plus, the great equalizer was the invention of Viagra and Cialis. 

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Going to toss my hat in the ring and will get grilled for it but like I fucking care. I'm 54 and would love to fuck around with guys my own age, the problem is so many of them don't give a fuck about their health, they are fat slobs I don't have a gym bod but at least I try to eat well and exercise and I can still see my shoes and cock. Also when you look like shit because you still party and drink its not any ones fault but your own.

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12 minutes ago, akula said:

Going to toss my hat in the ring and will get grilled for it but like I fucking care. I'm 54 and would love to fuck around with guys my own age, the problem is so many of them don't give a fuck about their health, they are fat slobs I don't have a gym bod but at least I try to eat well and exercise and I can still see my shoes and cock. Also when you look like shit because you still party and drink its not any ones fault but your own.

Self-care matters at any age. 

There's a reason I cook real whole food myself, and make most of what I eat. There's a reason I lift weights 5 days a week, and work on feeling trim and energetic. My mood is better, my body feels better and is definitely stronger, I sleep better, and being in good shape means an energetic fuck makes you smile instead of gasp. I'm no bodybuilder either, but I like when tops run their hands over my body seeing and feeling muscle underneath and knowing they can really go for it. 

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I have some theories about this.  Anecdotally I think the same things apply in person as do on the apps.  My number 1 theory is that for a huge percentage of guys the fantasy is better than the reality, and as such they act on it so infrequently that they don't even know what they are missing.  I also think a lot of "gay" guys are closer to asexual than gay, so they really aren't trying to actually hookup with anyone.

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On 8/1/2021 at 7:03 AM, akula said:

Going to toss my hat in the ring and will get grilled for it but like I fucking care. I'm 54 and would love to fuck around with guys my own age, the problem is so many of them don't give a fuck about their health, they are fat slobs I don't have a gym bod but at least I try to eat well and exercise and I can still see my shoes and cock. Also when you look like shit because you still party and drink its not any ones fault but your own.

At every age checkpoint in my life I've always felt like "too much" or "not enough" for what I wanted and/or what was attracted to me. Trying to be more butch, or less butch, or more of a bottom, or more aggressively a top. At some point I just gave up on my disappointment with slim pickens, and just became what I wanted.

Slightly athletic, slightly intellectual, slightly silly, and a bit piggy when the bat signal is in the sky haha.

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