Falling for a breeder

[versamarried]

I am a closeted bi mwm that has been a serial cheater for over 10 years. 99% of my hookups have been one and dones, couple of repeaters for a 6 month period here and there. I never developed any romantic or emotional even if just lustful attachments. For me hookups were just the way to satisfy my holes need for cum. 

However recently I have been with a top a couple of times and it truly blew my mind how hot the 2 of us were together. To the point I keep thinking about being with him and making passionate love and being publically romantic. When I jerk off lately I blast when I think about telling him I love him while we are alone, something I know as crazy. He is very passionate with me already but not to the point of acting like he actually has feelings for me beyond using my hole.

Anyone else fall in love with a breeding hookup?

[ChainedBoy]

I have not fallen for a hookup partner....but I did have one fall for me. “Dan” was a hella-hot bottom too. The boy was goofy cute, sweet tempered, nice body, with a world class cunt. (And an 8 inch fat cock, not that he ever used it.) 

Bred him regularly for almost a year when I learned he had fallen hard for me....even though he knew I was partnered (open relationship). Things went south fast and we stopped seeing each other real abruptly.

I liked him and regret he was hurt. No more regular side guys for me.

[evilqueerpig]

Would you consider ending your marriage for the breeder?  If not, it might be lust.

[Guest descartes70817]

I'm a married top that's had a few of my regular bottoms who want more than I'm willing to give, and I still have bottoms who keep asking for more. I'm just getting to where I can even conceive of a gay relationship but I still haven't met anyone who really makes me feel 'this is the one'.

[CigarBear68]

This is common but not healthy. You need to deal with all your own issues before considering any sort of relationship. Get out of your marriage, be single, and find yourself. Then you'll be in a better position to start a relationship. Your marriage isn't fair to you, or your wife, if you're already thinking about ending it because of someone else. Don't stay in it for convenience, which is what it sounds like you are doing. You're in a tough spot- best of luck to you. 

[bbzh]

Don't confuse good dick with love. At best, it's lust. You don't know him, so you can't "love" him. And if he is not interested in a relationship with you, you are wasting your time. And get this for irony: if you did end your marriage to be with him, he might never trust you fully because he thinks you would leave him the next time that you - as a self-described serial cheater - find another guy with good dick.

This probably isn't what you want to hear, but I think you should stop seeing him if you can't keep your feelings in check. He wants your ass, not your hand in marriage. Reread that last sentence.

There are people that cross our paths in this life who can literally turn us into lovesick fools who can no longer think rationally. Your story is why I tell bottoms "girl, don't let him hit the bottom of your pussy". There should be a hotline for bottoms to call when this happens. Bitches out here thinking about rearranging their entire lives because the dick was good. LOL.

[CigarBear68]

Think of this guy as a mirror reflection- it's what you want to see, it's what you want to feel. But it isn't real. The ONLY thing to pay attention to in this is you. Your inner self is showing you what it wants and needs- this other guy is simply a means for it to do that. 

[Guest BBBoyfromTN]

I hook up with a lot of bi and straight guys who are dating girls, engaged, or married, and hell...I'm more bi/str8 myself.live had more than a few guys do the same thing you've done and I've fallen into that too. It's confusing, frustrating, painful, and you don't know what to do with those feelings. But you have to separate fantasy from reality. While you can visualize all that happening how likely is it to happen in reality? The reality is you've got someone who's giving you the passion and ardor you're not getting from your wife or GF. Their ardor will cool eventually too. It's only normal. Then you're back to the he same place you are right now. 

The thing is relationships take a lot of effort to maintain and keep going. Are you ready to throw everything you've created in that relationship into the trash? People will hate me for saying this but maybe you need to reconsider your GF/wife and what she and that relationship means to you and find a way to rekindle it, to keep it going. If you try and it fails or you find you really prefer guys far more than girls then maybe it's something more deep seated. But you need to get you head out of the clouds with what things could be or might be. That top may not want a commitment. I know I certainly don't and I've guys more or less throw themselves at me wanting to date or more....and I'm just NOT that kind of guy. I've had guys I played with that I desperately wanted to be with and who were hot as shit sexually. But they wanted different things. On the flip side I've had guys promise me they'd dump their GF for me but in the end they couldn't or wouldn't. In the end it's better to keep it just as super hot sex with no strings.

[ejaculaTe]

The term “fuck buddy” was coined for a reason as was “friend with benefits.” I discovered the difference between these two terms and “partner” in an odd way. My partner and I had an open relationship. I met a flight attendant (Michael) at a party thrown by a mutual friend. Michael and I hit it off from the start, and reasonably soon afterwards, we began spending weekends together. We had a lot of common interests; the sex could be amazingly hot (he lived 6 blocks from one of the bathhouses in the city — after screwing each other silly, we’d go to the baths for more insanely hot sex); he was fun to be with; and for reasons I won’t bore you with, he made me feel alive.

My partner and I were together 29 years (he died in November 2016). Out of all of the guys I knew, Michael was the only one for whom I even thought of leaving my partner. But when the vet called me one November afternoon in 2007 to tell me that my golden retriever — who had been my constant companion for a couple of years — had cancer, I didn’t call Michael to tell him or turn to him for solace. Instead, I called my partner (who was out of town at the time) and told him that Skipper had class 4 mast cell cancer. That was the moment I knew I wasn’t leaving my partner. I stopped seeing Michael shortly thereafter.

The point of the anecdote, I suppose, is to illustrate this question: if you learned that your 9 year old dog, whom you had adopted from the SPCA when she was 11 weeks old, maybe had 6 months to live, who would you call? If you can look yourself in the mirror and say “the guy who’s riding [my] ass,” then it’s time to start divorce proceedings. Until then, you’re with your wife. (To finish out the anecdote, Skipper died in September 2009. The day of Skipper’s death, my partner and I went to the SPCA and adopted a 5 month old female pit bull-mastiff mix.)

Edited March 26, 2018 by ejaculaTe
Additional sentence inserted in last paragraph.

[tallslenderguy]

i think the love and relationship is a complex topic, i have appreciated reading the thoughtful replies.  i particularly resonate with CigarBear68's comment: "Think of this guy as a mirror reflection-...."  i too believe that we can see ourselves in the mirror of relationship. i think it can get pretty involved discerning or fleshing out the reflection though. For instance, as CigarBear points out, we often 'see' "what we want to see... what we want to feel."  This strikes me as a keenly insightful point. 

Another part of our reflection we can see in relationship is the feedback we get from that person. I.e., people tell us what they think of us using words and also unspoken responses to us that give us an idea of how they think and feel about us. But that feedback is not necessarily a 'riflection' of reality, it is their particular reflection. i think of relationships as a trip through a house of mirrors. Ever been to one of those at a carnival or amusement park? They are often comprised of mirrors of different shapes that give one a distorted reflection. That's not a perfect analogy, but the point is, no one is a perfectly clean and undistorted mirror, so the reflection we get demo others might be from a clear spot in the mirror, or a spot smudged with chocolate (or vomit). What we 'see' might be on them, not on us.

i have done a total retake on my ideas of relationship. i was in a very traditional/religious marriage (with a woman) for 31 years. For me, religion was a poisonous trap that kept me from self acceptance. i too was a cheater, and hated myself and every moment i did it. i think that is an awful and destructive way to live. The "trap" for me was the notion that being gay was "bad, sick, sin," and that i could change.  

Once i came to a place of self acceptance, i was able to be honest with everyone else about who i am and i actually love life now.  After divorcing (my former wife didn't want to be with me after i told her i was not able to change) i at first i thought i might be bi because i'd been with a woman all those years and we had an active sex life. i've had plenty of opportunities to be with women since divorcing (and before), but my former wife is the only woman i have ever been with.  On the other hand, i've been with more guys than i can count, so i identify as "gay."

Even though i have a pretty static sexual identity now (i.e., i like guys), my journey has caused me to totally re-examine my ideas of relationship. i believe most of our ideas of relationship come from a heteronormative, patriarchal culture. So called "traditional values." i do not fit either of those profiles, and my values are not a part of those traditions, so trying to have a relationship using those molds doesn't fit either.  i've had one time connections with a guy that involved some really deep emotional responses, where i had to bite my tongue to keep from blurting out: "i love you" lol. And even if i did blurt in a moment of passion, i still know better than to automatically equate the experience with asking for His hand in marriage.  

my point is, i think a lot of our ideas and values about love and relationship are not born out of the reality of who we are and what we need/want, but many of those ideas come from and belong to the dominant culture. Culture is changing, and those who have been muzzled are now able to bark, have their input, but i think we are just at the beginning of that evolution and that a lot of what we accept as 'natural' has just been culturally programmed in.  

 

 

 

[versamarried]

I have 0 desire to end my current relationship, nor will I pursue an open relationship with this top. I am more curious if others had those feelings, what they chose to do and where that led for them.

I do disagree that someone can only love one person at a time though.

[Maikol]

On March 24, 2018 at 8:15 PM, versamarried said:

I am a closeted bi mwm that has been a serial cheater for over 10 years. 99% of my hookups have been one and dones, couple of repeaters for a 6 month period here and there. I never developed any romantic or emotional even if just lustful attachments. For me hookups were just the way to satisfy my holes need for cum. 

However recently I have been with a top a couple of times and it truly blew my mind how hot the 2 of us were together. To the point I keep thinking about being with him and making passionate love and being publically romantic. When I jerk off lately I blast when I think about telling him I love him while we are alone, something I know as crazy. He is very passionate with me already but not to the point of acting like he actually has feelings for me beyond using my hole.

Anyone else fall in love with a breeding hookup?

 

On March 24, 2018 at 8:15 PM, versamarried said:

I am a closeted bi mwm that has been a serial cheater for over 10 years. 99% of my hookups have been one and dones, couple of repeaters for a 6 month period here and there. I never developed any romantic or emotional even if just lustful attachments. For me hookups were just the way to satisfy my holes need for cum. 

However recently I have been with a top a couple of times and it truly blew my mind how hot the 2 of us were together. To the point I keep thinking about being with him and making passionate love and being publically romantic. When I jerk off lately I blast when I think about telling him I love him while we are alone, something I know as crazy. He is very passionate with me already but not to the point of acting like he actually has feelings for me beyond using my hole.

Anyone else fall in love with a breeding hookup?

I have fallen in love with a breeding hookup, actually in love with one another, our hookups are incredibly passionate and romantic beyond my wildest dreams, but we are not into tying the knot! 

[versamarried]

Just chatted with the top in question and we opened up a bit and agreed we are just going to enjoy each other like a couple when we are alone together. Not changing our situations. Which is perfect for me since I definitely am bi and not looking for 1 type of relationship. If I went to live with him ever I know I would chase pussy.

[hotguy02]

OMG. Yes.   The daddy top that took my virginity when I was 18 is still the same one that breeds me now and im 34 now.    He made me fall in love with him.  He has me very submissive to him and I am very happy.  He has other boys but im ok with that.