stealth Is breeding a load of uncertain status and not disclosed considered stealthing?

[CumCravinHole]

I started hooking up regularly with a recently divorced (from a female) total top.  Both of our online profiles list status as neg.  He is a former athlete and has a body & butt to match.  When 69'ing prior to getting bred by him, we both enjoy ravenously eating out the other's ass.   I primarily bottom bareback, however, eating ass, especially his, makes me super horned to where I 'd rather be probing his manhole with my cock, than taking his inside me.  I've shared with the awesome ass stud my impulse to just slide my tool inside him like it is no big deal.  Interestingly, while he has never bottomed, he has been training with dildos of late.  He wasn't put off by my stated desire, yet rather felt it was a direction we might explore.  

The subject was broached again on a subsequent encounter during "half time".  When we returned to the "field" he started licking my hole and the precum which was leaking out from our before the break fuck fest.  my face down in to the pillow , we were both getting quite worked up from the act.  The more he went to town on my hole, the more I longed for his.  At an appropriate point, I paused the action, guided him into my previous position & proceeded to rim his hole making certain to ride my tongue up the crack of his ass to create a wet and slippery surface for the upcoming move.

my blue pill enhanced granite hard cock was set upon the moistened crack and gliding up down with every down stroke descending deeper towards his virgin hole.  Soon my purple helmet was pressing up against his hole, till finally a pivot of my pelvis positioned my meat into a penetration path.  as tempting as it was, advancement wasn't more than a centimeter or two.  I likely could've secured enough clearance to have been able to bust a nut and deposit the entire load inside him.  Yet an undisclosed concern poking repeatedly inside me, derailed any further advance.

While my last hiv test was neg, that was longer ago than im able to recall.  Since then there have been enumerable  fully charged, anonymous, and likely stealth loads dumped inside me.  There is no recollection of any fuck flu, so all I can really say at this point is my status is unsure if not don't care.

If I were to layout that load pattern to him and its corresponding uncertainty, he'd likely reserve getting bred by me pending a status confirmation.  though there is a slight possibility he could throw caution to the wind....i wouldn't bet the farm.

I could remain silent and continue to operate on my previous, albeit ancient result, and also consider there has never been the status chat. 

The question then arises, is that tantamount to stealthing?

If so then as hot as stealthing is perceived to most who read these threads, there is a difference between gifting an unsuspecting stranger as oppose to a regular fuck buddy, or is there.  A true pig would see no conflict here and proceed to breed, which is my inclination.  

Thoughts?

 

 

[leatherpunk16]

What you describe is actually pretty common. You could totally be spreading and not know it. I remember reading an article from one of the gay publications, and the author talked about several HIV-related things. I distinctly remember a commenter saying "#3 is teh [sic] scary."

#3 was "He didn't know he was poz." One may not suspect it - no flu, no signs, just a long history of not testing, then lo and behold, he's also got a list of guys he needs to call when the diagnosis happens. Not only to let them know what's transpired, but also to build a timeline for when this happened. Doesn't change anything, but knowing makes it a little easier to accept. 

On to your question. If you don't know you've got it, I don't think it can qualify as stealth. But do get tested. Yes it can be scary and something really shitty may happen. Or it might turn out as you want it, and it's the best day ever. Sounds to me like there's some post-event guilt there, and you can easily clear that conscience by getting checked out. And make a habit of that every three months. Unless the need arises to never have that test again. For some reason, the status doesn't seem to go back. IDK WTF that's about.

[drscorpio]

Why not lay your cards on the table? I was last tested around this time, but I have taken lots of loads since then. I have had no sign that I picked up anything. 

[BootmanLA]

7 hours ago, CumCravinHole said:

The question then arises, is that tantamount to stealthing?

If so then as hot as stealthing is perceived to most who read these threads, there is a difference between gifting an unsuspecting stranger as oppose to a regular fuck buddy, or is there.  A true pig would see no conflict here and proceed to breed, which is my inclination.  

Thoughts?

It might not technically qualify as stealthing, because "stealthing" isn't exactly a rigidly defined word in the context of sex. It "broadly" means an HIV-positive top having unprotected sex with an HIV-negative bottom, either while concealing his positive status or while removing or damaging protection (ie a condom) without the bottom's knowledge.

Since you don't know your status, this is at best perhaps "stealthing adjacent" behavior.

To the extent there's a difference between an unsuspecting stranger and a regular fuck buddy, it's due to the FB perhaps unwisely placing trust in you to disclose what you know about your status. He may (and I stress may, because I don't know him or you) be assuming that surely being "out" longer, you'd be on top of your sexual health, and would have warned him if you had any reason to suspect you had "issues".

drScorpio's advice is right on target here: tell him what you know, and see what he wants to do. He may say "fuck it" and keep going as is; he may suggest you both get tested; he may freak out and not want to play any more. But it's the right thing to do.

If you were simply fucking some hole in a bathhouse or glory hole, I'd say the onus was certainly on that bottom to be on PrEP if he was negative, to protect himself. But this is someone you know, and I think advertising yourself as "negative" - a definitive status - when you don't honestly know that any more is misleading at best and a lie at worst.

[CumCravinHole]

7 hours ago, leatherpunk16 said:

What you describe is actually pretty common. You could totally be spreading and not know it. I remember reading an article from one of the gay publications, and the author talked about several HIV-related things. I distinctly remember a commenter saying "#3 is teh [sic] scary."

#3 was "He didn't know he was poz." One may not suspect it - no flu, no signs, just a long history of not testing, then lo and behold, he's also got a list of guys he needs to call when the diagnosis happens. Not only to let them know what's transpired, but also to build a timeline for when this happened. Doesn't change anything, but knowing makes it a little easier to accept. 

On to your question. If you don't know you've got it, I don't think it can qualify as stealth. But do get tested. Yes it can be scary and something really shitty may happen. Or it might turn out as you want it, and it's the best day ever. Sounds to me like there's some post-event guilt there, and you can easily clear that conscience by getting checked out. And make a habit of that every three months. Unless the need arises to never have that test again. For some reason, the status doesn't seem to go back. IDK WTF that's about.

Thank you for the well thought out reply.

Perhaps I should've been more forthcoming by saying im not interested in getting tested.  Once one is aware definitively of their poz status then disclosure responsibilities set in.  Not so much an issue when one doesn't know for certain and only has a history of at risk behavior to indicate potentially poz.  Sounds a bit manipulative in justifying lack of culpability.  Some would observe a dark and [banned word] pleasure in being able to effectively stealth without having to conceal a confirmed poz status, thus not technically a stealthier yet with all the ramifications of providing the unexpected gift.  Twisted, I know.  Hence why I turn to BZ in order to sort through it all.

[cheatingjock]

This is partly where I am.  I haven’t tested in a while, and have definitely taken poz loads. Honestly most guys don’t ask. If you want to be good to your regular, explain you haven’t been tested in however long.  With randoms if they don’t ask I don’t feel there’s any expectations.

[BootmanLA]

15 hours ago, CumCravinHole said:

Thank you for the well thought out reply.

Perhaps I should've been more forthcoming by saying im not interested in getting tested.  Once one is aware definitively of their poz status then disclosure responsibilities set in.  Not so much an issue when one doesn't know for certain and only has a history of at risk behavior to indicate potentially poz.  Sounds a bit manipulative in justifying lack of culpability.  Some would observe a dark and [banned word] pleasure in being able to effectively stealth without having to conceal a confirmed poz status, thus not technically a stealthier yet with all the ramifications of providing the unexpected gift.  Twisted, I know.  Hence why I turn to BZ in order to sort through it all.

Basically, I lost all sympathy for your situation with this post. This isn't a "Health" topic; this is trying to talk about the pleasures of stealthing behavior under the guise of "pretending" to give a shit about the guy you're sleeping with, maybe, and oh, how conflicted you must be. Bullshit.

The sad thing is that this guy, recently divorced from a woman, probably has no idea what sorts of risks he's running because being (presumably) disconnected from the LGBT community during his marriage, it's never occurred to him that someone could (a) be wanton about their sex life, taking loads from known poz guys while also (b) NOT disclosing that to a new-to-the-scene partner who's coming off a failed heterosexual marriage.

Technically, you're right: not knowing if you're poz means you don't have to disclose that you are. You got it wrong, however, when you said it was "a bit manipulative" in justifying a lack of culpability. It's more than that; it's a shit move by someone with shit motives.

It's crap like this that prompted my earlier suggestion that all discussions like this be kicked out of the "Health" section - since it's not about health, it's about stealthing and pozzing. If people want to discuss that, fine; there's a place for it. Mislabeling it a "health" discussion when it's clear from the wording (dark pleasure, twisted) that this is about the erotic benefits to the lying-by-omission scum rather than any health concerns for the partner. If there was the SLIGHTEST hint of concern for the partner in this case, it would SCREAM "tell him what you do".

[CumCravinHole]

2 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

Basically, I lost all sympathy for your situation with this post. This isn't a "Health" topic; this is trying to talk about the pleasures of stealthing behavior under the guise of "pretending" to give a shit about the guy you're sleeping with, maybe, and oh, how conflicted you must be. Bullshit.

The sad thing is that this guy, recently divorced from a woman, probably has no idea what sorts of risks he's running because being (presumably) disconnected from the LGBT community during his marriage, it's never occurred to him that someone could (a) be wanton about their sex life, taking loads from known poz guys while also (b) NOT disclosing that to a new-to-the-scene partner who's coming off a failed heterosexual marriage.

Technically, you're right: not knowing if you're poz means you don't have to disclose that you are. You got it wrong, however, when you said it was "a bit manipulative" in justifying a lack of culpability. It's more than that; it's a shit move by someone with shit motives.

It's crap like this that prompted my earlier suggestion that all discussions like this be kicked out of the "Health" section - since it's not about health, it's about stealthing and pozzing. If people want to discuss that, fine; there's a place for it. Mislabeling it a "health" discussion when it's clear from the wording (dark pleasure, twisted) that this is about the erotic benefits to the lying-by-omission scum rather than any health concerns for the partner. If there was the SLIGHTEST hint of concern for the partner in this case, it would SCREAM "tell him what you do".

Thank you for taking me out to the woodshed.  Your temperament is palpable and for that I apologize.   

It is correct; I do not deserve nor was I under the impression I was in search of, sympathy.   Taking the gloves off and forging an unmistakeable clarity has provided me just the resolve i feel comfortable proceeding with.  

He will likely never encounter you, however, your impact on his health can not be overstated.  Candor accomplishes so much more than an echo chamber.

Enjoy your weekend.  You have much to feel good about.

Edited October 23, 2020 by CumCravinHole
typo: understated meant overstated